Original subtitles

(celebratory music)

(relaxing music)

(patrons chattering)

(man laughing)

(dramatic music) (thumping)

(exotic sorrowful music)

- He's dead. (patrons murmuring)

(heels clacking)

(telephone ringing)

- Capitaine Bruzard,

Prefect of Police speaking.

What?

Rolazoides? - What is it, Capitaine?

- What was it, Doctor?

I see.

Thank you, Doctor. (thumping)

The manager fell dead at the hotel.

Dr. Fouchet thinks he was poisoned!

- Poisoned, he was murdered!

This situation is becoming intolerable!

Three managers of the Hotel Casablanca

in the last six months dead, murdered!

- Attention, attanetion!

Murder at the Hotel Casablanca.

The Manager, Rolazoides, found dead.

Round up all likely suspects.

(dramatic music)

- Say, what do you think you're doing?

Holding up the building?

Come on!

(clattering) (crashing)

(dramatic music) (clattering)

(pedestrians chattering)

- No further questions, you may go now.

In all my experience, I've never come against

a series of murders with so few clues!

- Won't you please listen to Lieutenant Delbar?

- Delbar, who is he?

- Oh I'm sure you'll be interested!

Lieutenant Delbar,

the Governor General, Monsieur Gandalou.

- I'm honored, sir.

A pleasure to see you again, sir.

- You're on active duty, Lieutenant?

- I'm on reserve, sir.

I wear the uniform, I have no other clothes.

- [Bruzard] Lieutenant, you have something to tell us

about the Rolazoides affair?

- Yes Captain.

Doesn't this confirm the theory

I spoke to you about last time?

- What theory? - Not a theory,

an Arabian Nights fable.

- But it's true monsieur, I am the only one who knows.

- And nobody listened.

- Well I am listening.

What is it?

- Well sir, it was in Paris, during the Occupation.

The Nazis ordered me to fly a plane to South America.

They forced me at the point of a gun.

The cargo was worth millions, it was Nazi loot!

Jewels, gold, and priceless paintings.

I couldn't bear to fly it out of French territory,

so I cut off my fuel and crash-landed here in Casablanca.

I was interned, investigated,

and when I managed to get back to the plane,

the treasure was gone.

- But what has that to do with these murders?

- But don't you see sir?

The Hotel Casablanca was controlled by Nazis.

- But now it's operated by the French Government.

- That's just the point.

Some group is trying desperately

to gain control of the hotel!

It can't be for profit, it's government property.

But it might in some way be connected with the treasure.

- [Gandalou] What is your interest in all this?

- Well, sir, if the treasure is found in Casablanca,

it'll prove that I acted as a patriot.

- I see.

So that's it.

Lieutenant, we're not concerned with clearing your name.

Our only interest is solving these murders,

and finding a new manager.

Good day.

(knocking) - Who is it?

- Waiter. - Come in.

Good.

Get Beatrice.

(paper rustling)

(thumping)

(pages rustling)

Valet.

Valet!

Rusty, you schweinehund, where are you?

Come in here!

Where in blazes is he hiding out now?

(door thumping)

(clattering) (thumping)

Why don't you obey my orders,

eh, eh? (smacking)

I have enough of you and your tomfoolery here!

Two hours ago I told you to get the tailor,

make everything ready for the fitting!

- Where is he?

Oh, hello, Max.

- Uh, Kurt, see what you can make of this.

My decoding is not what it used to be.

Beatrice I'm glad you are here.

There's a very important cable to be decoded.

- I would have come sooner but that Bruzard kept me.

He's questioning everyone who works in the hotel.

- Oh, you have nothing to worry about.

In a few moments, at dinner I accept the managership.

- Oh well finally! (chuckling)

- I could have agreed this afternoon,

but I did not wish to appear overanxious.

- Good.

- This is from Schweigler in South America.

- Yes, I know, but what does he say?

- It's very difficult to decode, give me a little time.

- Yes?

- Oh, here it is.

- Yeah? - Hmm...

- Why delay? - Runt you moron!

What is this?

The vest is inside out!

- Why delay? - Yes.

- Speed imperative.

Every lost moment, increases danger.

- Yeah? - Treasury discovery,

discovery, - Yeah.

- would be, disastrous.

- Yes, very well.

I, I wire him right away.

- Max! - Yeah?

- Look at you! - Look at what?

- Your hat. - What is this?

You schweinehund!

(clapping) You silent idiot!

You (speaking foreign language)!

I'll teach you how (thumping)

to play tricks on me!

Now stay away from me from now on!

Get in there and clean up these rooms!

Ape!

(hissing)

(whirring)

(hissing)

(clattering)

(hissing) (whirring)

And now Beatrice I'm ready

to dine with the Governor General.

- Max! - Huh?

- Your toupee! - You can't go without that,

it's too dangerous!

You will be recognized!

That scar on your head!

- Rusty, Rusty, where's my toupee?

(clanking)

(pleasant music) (singing in foreign language)

(applauding)

- Bravo! - Bravo, bravo!

- Bravo! (relaxing music)

- Count Pfferman is one hour late.

- He has no intention of accepting.

You cannot blame him.

Let us go.

- Wait.

I have an idea.

I will send a wire to the manager of the Desert View Hotel.

- Desert View Hotel?

Perfect, he's way out on the desert.

He could not have heard about these murders.

Who is he?

- Oh his name escapes me.

(sedate music)

- Miss Bernard, you can put this

with the lost-and-found articles.

(chuckling) - Of all things, a toupee!

- One of the maids emptied

a vacuum cleaner and found it inside.

(dramatic music)

(clattering)

(whirring)

(chuckling) - That's it.

(honking)

Hey Rusty, you come back

to see your friend the Corbaccio (chuckles)?

How do you was, how do you was (chuckles)?

- Capitaine, we have no time to waste.

The new manager's train arrives in five minutes.

- Hey Rusty you hear that?

They got a new manager for the hotel.

(chuckles) Any man that take-a this job

must be a big sucker.

Anybody here for the Hotel Casablanca?

Anybody here for the

Hotel Casablanca? - I'm going to the

(train whistle blowing) Hotel Casablanca.

- Oh, are you the new manager?

- New manager?

- Anybody here for the Hotel Casablanca?

Anybody here for the Hotel Casablanca?

- Here, here, here boy, I'm going to the hotel.

- They'll never let you in.

Anybody... - Wait a minute,

do they let you in? - Sure.

I'll put a stop to that, I'm the new manager.

- You're the new manager?

That's a-fine!

- Just come here with that bag.

- Ah, the hotel sent me down to welcome you.

- Just give me my valuables.

- Don't worry, you can trust me.

- I don't even trust me.

- Ah!

Ah, you're gonna like-a this job.

- You buy?

Nice, cheap, cheap! - Scram, scram!

Get out of here! (mumbling)

You gotta be careful of those guys,

they take you to the cleaners!

- What about you? - I take you to the hotel.

- Just what is your racket?

- I got-a no racket.

I make-a my living with camels.

- What do you do with your camels?

- They're taxicabs.

I'm a President of the Yellow Camel Company.

- Aren't all the camels in Casablanca yellow?

- Hey, you crazy.

We got a Checker Camel Company too, eh look.

- [Manager] Must be expensive to operate.

- Here you are. - So this is your wife, eh?

- No, it's a-my camel.

- You haven't got another stick of gum on you have you?

- Come on, I get you to the hotel.

(patrons chattering) (curious upbeat music)

- [Man] Now, do you understand everything

that is expected of you?

Very good, (speaking foreign language).

- Break it up, this is a hotel lobby,

isn't there some poolroom where you boys can hang out?

- Monsieur, I am Gandalou,

Governor General of this province.

- And I am Bruzard, Chief of Police!

- I'm Ronald Kornblow, the new manager.

- Ah, the new manager! - The new manager!

Oh Monsieur Kornblow, it is a pleasure!

Uh, Monsieur Kornblow,

I know you've traveled quite a distance,

and I'm sure your journey was quite tedious...

- I've seen five o'clock shadow,

but this is ridiculous.

- Shadow, (mumbles)?

- Monsieur, we have assembled the staff so you can

tell them what you expect of them.

- Nevermind the staff, assemble the guests,

I'll tell them what I expect of them.

- The guests?

What do you expect of them?

- Courtesy towards the employees.

They must learn that a kind word will get them further

with a bellboy or a chamber maid than a couple of drinks.

Of course a kind word and a couple of drinks

will get them still further.

And if it gets 'em any further than that,

I'll get 'em kicked out of the hotel.

Now gentlemen, what I'm concerned about

is the future of this place.

- What have you to suggest?

- Well we've got to speed things up.

Uh Chef,

- Uh-hmm. - if a guest orders

a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes.

If he orders a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute.

And if he orders a one-minute egg,

give him a chicken, let him work it out for himself.

- There must be some mistake.

This man is impossible!

- I know, I know, but beggars cannot be choosers!

- I hope he does not have any more ideas!

- [Ronald] And now, gentlemen, I've got another idea.

- Yes, monsieur, another idea?

- Yeah, the next thing we're gonna do

is change the numbers on all the rooms.

(mumbling) - But the guests,

they would go into the wrong rooms!

Think of the confusion!

- Yes, but think of the fun.

- Please, Capitaine, we must not annoy

Monsieur Kornblow with more questions.

Eh eh, monsieur, I presume you are tired

after your long journey.

Perhaps you would like to lie down?

Your office monsieur, your desk.

- Please be seated monsieur!

- Now gentlemen I'm a different man behind a desk,

as any stenographer can tell you.

But uh, what I want to know is,

why are they burying the last manager?

And don't tell me it's because he's dead.

- Oh, but you are alarming yourself over nothing.

Monsieur Rolazoides died a natural death.

- Hmm, mm-hmm, and what happened

to the manager that preceded him?

- He uh, he uh, oh monsieur, we caught him stealing money.

We were forced to discharge him!

- I see, you want a manager that doesn't steal money.

Good day, gentlemen.

- Oh, Monsieur! - Please Mr. Kornblow,

do not take offense!

You are making a mountain out of a molehill!

- Well that's quite a trick, you try that sometime.

- Monsieur Kornblow, you notice we did

not mention your salary?

- You're darn right I've noticed it, what about it kids?

- You get 500 francs a week.

- Fair enough.

What about my laundry?

- Laundry? - Yes, you know,

the stuff that doesn't come back.

- Oh, we pick up your laundry once a month.

- If you wait that long,

you won't be able to pick it up.

- Oh...

(relaxing music) (patrons chattering)

- Pierre. - Annette,

what are you doing here?

- Darling, I had to come!

I found this in the hotel.

It may mean something.

Kruss and Company, Berlin.

This was made for Heinrich Stubel.

(tense music)

Do you have a hotel guest named Stubel?

- Not that I know of.

- 'Course if you have, he's probably changed his name.

Stubel was a big-shot Nazi, he was stationed in Paris.

- Darling, maybe this is the lead you've been waiting for!

- Yeah, maybe.

Now you run back to the hotel as fast as

you can and put this in the lost-and-found!

I don't think he'll be so stupid as to ask for it,

but I don't want to miss any bits.

- All right, bye.

(sighing) - Imprisoned, helpless.

Unable to show my face!

Trapped in this room all the time!

This is an animal existence!

- Oh Max please control yourself.

- (laughs) Control yourself, she says.

Me, Heinrich Stubel, defeated by a stupid toupee!

A wig, a few strands of hair!

Why do I have to have this scar on my head,

to-to brand me, to mark me?

- Max, I have an idea! (snapping)

- What is it?

- I shall see you later.

- Beatrice whatever you do be careful,

don't arouse suspicion! - Don't worry.

(door thumping)

(rattling)

(whooshing)

(snapping)

(knocking) - See who it is, quick!

Oh Rusty, you've got my toupee!

Give it to me, quick!

Oh, thank you.

What?

You schweinehund, you inferior ape you--

- Let me, Max, just once.

- Go ahead.

(whooshing)

(ripping)

Kurt, he wants to have a duel.

- Wonderful.

And it's been so long since Heidelberg.

- Cut him up a little, Kurt!

I shall enjoy watching,

it will soothe me to see someone in pain (chuckles).

Oh no you won't! (slamming)

Very well.

Without my toupee, I have nowhere to go.

We shall wait.

Come out, you dog!

(latch clicking)

- He thinks that will protect him against me,

the finest swordsman in Bavaria!

(laughing)

- We shall duel according to tradition.

Give me your sword.

Gentlemen, choose your weapons.

Uh! (stomping)

- That fool.

Only one!

For that, he will get another cut.

- I shall enjoy watching.

Now, gentlemen, back to back.

Now when I count three, you walk five paces,

and then you turn and defend yourselves.

One, two, three, go.

One, two, three, four, five.

- En garde! (stomping)

- Over there!

Over there!

(smacking)

- Kurt, it seems as if he's making a fool of you.

- Just wait.

- Very well.

Remember Heidelberg.

(stomping) (thudding)

Get him, get him!

(snapping) (leathery clattering)

Very good, Kurt.

- Pick up your sword!

(leathery clattering)

(stomping)

(scuffling)

- What's the matter with you, Kurt?

- Stand still and fight!

(stomping)

(swords clattering)

(whistling)

(scraping)

(sighing)

(stomping)

(swords clattering)

(stomping)

Kurt, come on, show your swordsmanship!

- Jawohl!

(stomping)

Ooh!!

(stomping) For that, I'm going

to kill you!

Down, down on your knees, on your knees you swine, down!

(rattling)

(snapping)

Oh... - Kurt, you're wasting

your time, cut him up!

- Get up and fight!

(swords clattering) - I would like to see

a little blood!

(mumbling in foreign language)

(crunching)

(Kurt panting)

- Hello. (papers rustling)

Hello!

Cigarette?

- No, thanks, cigar?

- No, thanks.

- You want a light? - Uh-hmm.

- How are things down the other end?

(coughing)

(chuckling)

This is like living in Pittsburgh,

if you can call that living.

(laughing)

- I am Beatrice Reiner, I stop at the hotel.

- I'm Ronald Kornblow. I stop at nothing.

- (chuckles) I am looking for something.

- Aren't we all?

- Mr. Kornblow, I lost my diamond clip,

and I thought it might have turned up

in the Lost-And-Found Department.

- Oh the Lost-And-Found Department!

Well, just slink yourself over this way!

- (chuckles) Yes...

- Well here we are in the Lost-And-Found Department.

I'm lost, and you're found.

- My clip, please!

- Well I'll take a look, if I can't find the clip,

perhaps I can interest you in something else?

(chuckling)

Say, you think you lost something?

Get a load of this, a toupee!

(chuckling)

- Now who could have lost that?

- Some guy must have blown his top.

- Oh, but I just love your hair,

it's so soft and silky!

- Silky now, but next year I'm getting nylon.

(laughing)

You know I think you're the most

beautiful woman in the whole world?

- Do you really? - No, but I don't mind lying

if it'll get me somewheres.

- Oh...

I shall be in the Supper Club tonight.

- Supper Club? - Yes.

Will you join me?

- Why, are you coming apart?

- Oh, come on now.

You wouldn't say no to a lady.

- I don't know why not.

They always say no to me.

- (chuckles) If you come to the Supper Club,

I shall sing some opera for you.

(chuckling)

Bye-bye, now.

And remember, I shall be singing only for you!

- You don't have to sing for me.

Just whistle.

That reminds me, I must get my watch fixed.

(snapping)

(relaxing music)

(clapping) - Come on now, everyone

sings with me, all right?

♪ Who's sorry now ♪

♪ Who's sorry now ♪

♪ Who's heart is aching, or breaking (mumbles) ♪

(patrons singing)

♪ Just like a (mumbles) ♪

♪ Just like a prayer ♪

(patrons singing)

♪ You had your way ♪

♪ Now you must pay ♪

♪ I'm glad that you're sorry now ♪

♪ I'm glad you're sorry now ♪

(applauding) - Bravo, that was wonderful!

(shouting)

- Bravo, bravo! - Bravo, bravo!

Bravo! - Oh Beatrice,

you were magnificent. - Well thank you, Count.

- We take no more chances with Kornblow.

We get rid of him tonight.

- Tonight? - Yes.

You will make a rendezvous with him later.

Some quiet corner away from the hotel.

Say uh, 11 o'clock.

- Exactly what corner? - Rue Lafayette.

- Rue Lafayette, very well.

- Waiter.

You will find an excuse to leave here in time.

You will drive the car and you will see to it

that it looks like a traffic accident.

And make it fatal.

That's all, waiter.

(patrons chattering)

- All right, what do you want?

- Not so quick, my friend.

It costs money.

- (scoffs) What are you talking about?

You know that I'm broke.

- I also know that you're looking for a man

who wears a toupee.

- Do you know who he is?

This means everything to me,

if you know who he is, please tell me!

- The wheel has been unkind to me tonight.

I should like to try again.

It would only take a few hundred francs.

- Look, I'll pay you, I promise!

- The croupier doesn't accept promises.

- Tell me his name!

- If you should happen to find a few hundred francs,

I'll be at the Brass Monkey.

- What's the matter Pierre, you need some money?

- Don't worry, Corbaccio, I'll get what I want

from that rat without money.

- He'll never get nothing from that rat without money.

That rat's just like me.

(slapping) (chuckling)

Hey, what I say?

I'm crazy, eh...

You know, I'm worried about Pierre.

We got to get him some money.

You get him some money?

Hey, not-a that way!

Come on. - There is no room

in the club.

But of course, monsieur.

There is always room for one more.

Set up a table for two.

(speaking foreign language) Follow me.

- Hey Rusty, you see that guy?

He's got-a the good idea!

Now I get-a money for Pierre (chuckles)!

(mumbling)

- What is this? - What, what are

you doing here? - Really is falling down.

(chattering)

(woman squealing)

- Hey Boss, you want a table?

- Yes, of course.

- All right, (mumbles).

Ha ha, get him a table, Rusty.

(chuckles) A table, I said!

(clattering) Everybody's gonna get

a little table!

No checks.

There's always room for one more.

(clattering)

(thumping) (utensils clattering)

(screaming) - Oh!

- Uh, pardon me, did you drop this?

Behind you, beg your pardon, (mumbles)...

Take me to Miss Reiner's table.

- Oui, monsieur, she is here.

Right this way.

- Ah, Miss Reiner!

(lips smacking)

(clattering) (grunting)

(gasping)

I, I usually put my foot into it.

- You fool!

See what you've done to my shirt!

- Sorry, you can hardly notice it

unless you're looking for a plate of soup.

- Count Pfferman, how terrible!

If you will come to the kitchen with me,

I will fix it for you!

- Yes!

- I, I hope I'm not driving you away.

- Du schweinehund! - Speaks excellent German.

Not very sporting of him to eat and run like that.

You'll probably get stuck with the check.

(chuckling)

- That's it, come on, folks.

Who else, who else, come on!

- I am terrible thirsty.

- Thirsty, waiter!

What would you like to drink?

- Champagne. - Champagne, huh?

(jingling)

Bring this lady a cheese sandwich.

- Oui monsieur. - Charge it to her.

(relaxing dance music)

Do you rumba? - Well yes!

- Well I don't, but I'll walk around with you

while you rumba. - Oh, come on (chuckles).

- Hold this till I get back.

I'm back.

- All right, come on, come on.

Everybody will be (mumbles). (clattering)

All right, two people, eh come on!

That's it, you two. (chair banging)

(thudding)

- What a great place to squeeze an orange.

(clattering)

(coughing)

I remember when this was all dance floor.

(clattering)

(thumping)

(whistling)

(clattering)

I wonder if it gets crowded in here on New Year's Eve?

- All right, come on, two more!

That's it, come on.

Come on people, follow me!

- This place has a wonderful floorshow.

It's too bad they haven't got a floor.

(thudding) (clattering)

- Why can't we go to some quiet place,

where we could be alone?

- If I didn't know your voice, I'd have sworn I said that.

- Hmm, meet me at the corner of Rue Lafayette at 11.

- At 11? - 11.

- Ha ha ha, that's it!

Now we got enough money for Pierre to take care of that rat.

(chuckling) - Oh Carbocia!

- Whatta you want? - Will you take over

for me again, I gotta make a phone call.

- Oh sure, go ahead, go ahead.

Here Rusty, you find Pierre, you give him this money.

Here, take the coat, I'm all finished.

Here, go on.

(tapping) We're gonna play a little

classical number, we're gonna play the second movement

from the Beer Barrel Polka.

(tapping)

(dramatic classical music)

("Beer Barrel Polka")

(cheerful music)

(energetic music)

(applauding) (cheering)

- [Man] Bravo, bravo!

- [Man] Bravo, bravo!

(perky music)

(cheering) (applauding)

- [Man] Bravo, bravo!

(romantic music) - Hello, darling.

You're on time.

- Oh darling I'm,

I'm afraid we're not going to enjoy

the evening very much.

- Why what's the matter? - The toupee's gone.

- Well that's good, who took it?

- That's the trouble, I don't know.

I've been trying to find Mr. Kornblow,

but he isn't around.

Oh Abdul!

- Yes, Miss Bernard?

- Abdul have you seen Mr. Kornblow?

- Mr. Kornblow went out about an hour ago.

He asked me to direct him to the corner of Rue Lafayette.

- Thank you so much.

Well (sighs)...

Wait a minute!

Can that be Mr. Kornblow?

(comically plodding music)

Good heavens Mr. Kornblow, what happened?

- What happened?

I was stood up by a woman and knocked down by a car.

These Casablanca drivers are terrible.

(chuckles) He missed me three times,

I finally had to climb a palm tree, and he hit that instead.

- (chuckles) A palm tree? - Yeah.

Until I saw you two I thought every date in town was broken.

- Mr. Kornblow, I'd like you

to meet my fiance, Lieutenant Delbar.

- Oh, fee-ons, excuse my ashes.

- How do you do?

Fiance eh?

Why don't you two lovebirds get married?

- Oh, marriage is impossible.

- Only after you're married.

- He means it's impossible for us.

- It's a long story, Mr. Kornblow.

- Well I'm all ears.

Pretty near, anyway.

- Tell him, Pierre. - All right.

Well sir, it's a story about a treasure of Nazi loot,

hidden somewhere in Casablanca.

I was in Paris during the operation...

(footsteps thudding)

- You fool, I ought to kill you!

Millions in our reach,

and we can't get our hands on it!

- Oh Max, please!

- Beatrice, I have an idea!

- What is it?

- If I were to find Kornblow with you in your room,

I could be outraged fiance!

I could, as the Americans say, bump him off.

In self-defense, of course.

It would be as simple as that!

Yes, I could bump off Kornblow in your room, Beatrice.

- I think that's a wonderful idea!

He's most anxious to be alone with me.

(footsteps thumping)

(water hissing)

(whistling) - Hey Rusty,

what's the matter?

You looking up a somebody?

(whistling) Who?

(whistling) Buffalo Bill?

(whistling) Guy eating a watermelon?

(earnest whistling) (stomping)

Ouch-a, my corn!

(sharp exhalation) Blow, Kornblow!

Oh, your looking for Kornblow! (whistling)

You got-a something for Kornblow?

What-a do you got?

(slurping) A soup?

Eh, soup...

Chinese boy, eat-a chop suey.

Eat-a chow mein. (lips smacking)

Eat-a rice.

(slurping) Soup and rice.

Soup and rice, soup rice, soup rice, surprise!

You got surprise for Kornblow!

(whistling) Oh, surprise, surprise!

What's the surprise you got? (earnest whistling)

He's going hunting?

(whistling) Someone gonna hang him?

(whistling) Gonna make-a the bump?

Bump, bump off!

(whistling) Somebody gonna

bump off Kornblow!

Somebody gonna bump off-a...

Who's gonna bump off Kornblow?

(whistling)

Guy with a cigar?

A scar?

Count with a scar?

The Count with the scar (earnest whistling)

is gonna bump off-a Kornblow!

Oh... (patting)

Where's he gonna do this?

(whistling) On the roof?

(whistling) Up the stairs?

You knock on the door.

You open the door.

You step inside.

You close-a the door.

You're in the room.

In the room!

(earnest whistling) Oh, smart!

(chuckles) In the room, eh?

(whistling) Wait, wait.

Whose room? (descriptive whistling)

Room with a snake?

(whistling) A garter snake?

(earnest whistling)

Big snake, big, big snake.

Big...

(descriptive whistling) (chuckles)

That's no snake, no.

That's a lady. (earnest whistling)

A lady, in a lady's room!

Oh, the lady's room!

Wait, was you in the room?

(corrective whistling) What's the matter?

(barking)

There's a dog in the room?

What kind of dog in the room?

(whistling) A look?

Look at the leg?

A look, a look...

Oh peek, peek, at the knees.

Peek at the knees, Pekinese dog!

(earnest whistling) She got a

peek-at-the-knees dog! (patting)

Wait, who's got a peek-at-the-knees dog?

What's the lady's name? (whistling)

Rose?

Lady's name is Rose. (patting)

No Rose. (sputtering)

(slapping) She's a slaphappy?

(sputtering)

Bugs?

(smacking) (sputtering)

Ants, (mumbles) what kind of name is this?

(descriptive whistling)

That's a airplane.

Aeroplane?

A bomber plane. (earnest whistling)

A bomber plane!

A Black Widow.

A Mosquito.

A, a B-29. (excited whistling)

A B-29.

B-29!

B-20...

B-20, B-20, B-20, B--

Oh it's a BB-29! (earnest whistling)

B-29, B, B... (descriptive whistling)

(mumbling)

(slapping)

B, B, B!

Twist, B, twist, B, twist B, twist B, twist B.

Beatrice, Beatrice! (earnest whistling)

Oh, come on we got to tell Kornblow!

(pedestrians chattering)

(footsteps tapping)

- Monsieur Kornblow? - Hmm?

- You will be good enough to arrange a place for me

on the evening plane for Tunis.

- Tunis eh?

There are some beautiful women in Tunis.

Yahoo!

- I'm not interested in beautiful women.

- Well in that case, look up some

of the women I've taken out.

- Just see to it that I get my reservation.

- Pfferman is flying to Tunis.

Get him a seat by an open window.

- Oui, monsieur.

- Hey Boss, Boss!

Rusty's got something to tell you!

(earnest whistling)

(sputtering)

(slapping)

(whistling)

(sputtering)

- Okay, I'll take one of those.

- Hey he's a dumb!

He no understand a plain English!

Hey Boss, you're in danger,

your life is hanging by a thread!

- So are my pants. - Yeah, but they're

gonna kill you! - How do you know?

- It's all over the hotel!

Everybody knows it but you!

- I wish they'd tell me these things.

I don't mind being killed

but I resent hearing it from a character

whose head comes to a point.

- A point, eh?

Look, boss, maybe they want to surprise you.

- Well, I'd like to know how to dress.

- (chuckles) You look fine.

You're dressed to kill.

But what you need, is a good bodyguard.

- What I need is a good body.

The one I've got isn't worth guarding.

By the way, since when are you a bodyguard?

I thought you were in the camel business?

- Oh, in the daytime, I'm in the camel business.

- Mmm... - At night, I'm a bodyguard.

- I see, well suppose I get killed in the daytime?

- Well, then I give you a free ride on my camel.

Look, boss, I could keep you alive for 50 francs a week!

- It isn't worth it. - Well you can't take

it with you. - Well I'm not gonna

leave it laying around here.

- Butta Boss, if I'm your bodyguard,

I'll watch you like a mother watches her baby!

- Is the mother pretty? - What's the difference?

- Well there's a lot of difference.

If the mother's pretty, I'll watch the mother

and you can watch the baby.

(honking) - Hey, whatta you got there?

- The manager's lunch. - Okay, go in.

(cart clattering)

- What's the matter, you hungry?

Ah, look out!

(spitting) (rattling)

(chuckles) You crazy, but you hungry, eh?

Come on, I fix.

(footsteps thudding)

Eh Boss, wait, don't touch it, don't!

Don't uh Boss!

(chuckles) Oh you had me scared!

You know three managers before you

died from eating poisoned food?

- This food doesn't look any more poisoned

than any other hotel food.

Give me that. - Oh no Boss, look!

You gotta have somebody to test the food!

Whatta you need is a guinea pig.

- You eat the guinea pig, I'll stick to this!

Gimme my steak... - I don't mean a

real guinea pig, I mean a human guinea pig!

- I don't want to eat any kind of a guinea pig!

I want my meal!

- Now, there's a human guinea pig!

- He looks like a pig, but he doesn't look human.

(barking)

(lips smacking)

That food doesn't seem to be poisoned.

- Yeah, you can't tell.

It hasn't reached his stomach yet.

(barking) (slapping)

- That's the seal of Good Housekeeping.

Hey, what is this, a stake race?

Now see here, you guys!

Give me back my lunch!

- Oh no, you make a mistake.

- That's my steak, and I want it!

Come on, give me that. - Hey, hey Rusty!

You wanna give him a little something?

- No, thanks, they give me heartburn.

(coughing) (clattering)

Well I just wanted to take a little shot, that's all.

(creaking)

(cork popping)

- Hey, you cheap crook, that bottle's empty!

- That's dry champagne.

(clattering) - Oh, no you don't!

You wanna get poisoned?

- Well, I'm not sure that I'd mind anymore.

(telephone ringing)

(shaker hissing)

Who's he talking to? - Salt Lake City.

(mumbling)

- Couldn't spare just a little sip of that, huh?

(crunching)

Well if the coffee doesn't keep him awake,

the cup and saucer will.

(porcelain rattling)

Wouldn't it be great if they ate each other?

(guests chattering)

(whistling)

(honking)

- But, monsieur...

But, but, but, but...

- You sound like a motorboat.

Give me that.

Hello?

What's that, sir?

You've been up in your room three and 1/2 hours

and your trunks haven't arrived?

Well put your pants on, nobody'll know the difference.

(clicking)

- Out of the way, please.

- Ba ba ba ba bo, whose sorry now...

(tapping)

Clerk! (Ronald singing)

(rapping)

- Mr. Kornblow to you.

- Have you a suite for me and my wife?

- Your wife eh? - Yes,

and we'd like something very elegant.

- I see, have you got any baggage?

- Of course.

It's on its way over from the airfield.

(slapping) In all the years

I've been in the hotel business,

that's the phoniest story I've ever heard.

I suppose your name is Smith.

- No, it's Smythe, spelled with a Y.

- Oh, that's the English version.

Mr. and Mrs. Smythe and no baggage.

Let me see your marriage license.

- What?

Why, how dare you, sir!

- How do like that?

Puts a Y in Smith and expects me to let him

in the hotel with a strange dame.

- Strain--

Strange dame?

- She is to me, I've never seen her before.

- Sir, you may not be aware of it,

but I am president of the Morocco Laundry Company.

- You are?

Well take this shirt and have it back Friday.

(thumping)

Mr. Smythe, or Smith,

this is a family hotel,

and I suggest you take your business elsewhere.

- Sir, this lady is my wife.

You should be ashamed!

- If this lady is your wife, you should be ashamed.

- You'll hear from me!

- Do that, even if it's only a post card.

- Sir, my attorneys will be here in the morning!

- Yeah, well they won't get a room either,

unless they got a marriage license.

Clerk.

(telephone ringing)

Hello, reception desk.

- Monsieur Kornblow?

This is Beatrice Reiner speaking.

- [Ronald] Oh Miss Reiner!

- Are you very busy this afternoon?

- Look, after that disappearing act you did

the other night we have nothing in common.

Well perhaps I shouldn't say nothing in common,

but we have very little in common.

Anyway, I'm not talking to you.

- [Beatrice] Oh, please, won't you come up?

- Well all right, I'll come up but,

don't expect me to do any talking.

(clicking)

(guests chattering)

(elevator whirring)

Sixth floor, and make it snappy.

The sixth floor, it's up this way.

(spitting)

You don't have to lift it,

just pull the lever, it'll go up by itself.

(doors scraping)

(whirring)

(rattling)

What's the matter, is it stuck?

Between the fifth and sixth floor,

this could only happen to me.

Why doesn't she live in the basement?

Here, you climb up to the roof of the car,

pull yourself out of the sixth floor and get help.

If you can't get help, (banging)

get me some insurance.

(thudding) Come on now, woop!

(tense music)

(slamming)

(suspenseful music)

(mysterious dramatic music)

(smacking) (clacking)

(thumping)

(whistling)

(whistling)

(lips smacking)

(patting)

(suspenseful music)

(snapping)

("Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2")

(thumping) (scuffling)

(thudding)

(whistling)

Where you been?

(whistling) You went through that

hole five hours ago, and so did my love life.

I don't want to go up now, I want to get down

and I want to get down in a hurry.

Do you know how to get me down?

(earnest whistling) Oh the ax!

Oh, you know how to fix it, eh?

(banging) (clattering)

(spring reverberating) (metallic clanging)

(crashing)

(debris clattering) (footsteps tapping)

(chuckling)

- The Count left town.

We used to go to my rooms after I sang,

and split a bottle of uh, champagne.

- Well I could pinch-hit for the Count.

At least I could pinch for him.

(Beatrice laughing) - Hey Boss, I heard that!

Come here!

- This never happened to Casanova.

- Oh, come here!

Look, am I your bodyguard?

- We have an agreement.

And I can't wait until it expires.

- Ex aspire!

I don't want a you should exa-spire first!

You're playing around with dynamite!

- I know what I'm doing, and I think she does, too.

- But boss, I'm supposed to keep you alive.

- If I go, that,

that's the way I want to go.

- Eh (speaking foreign language)...

- Well, shall we say in a, half an hour?

- In uh, half an hour.

(doors thumping) And this time, I'll walk up.

(perfume bottle hissing) (telephone ringing)

(thumping)

- Hello?

Max, where are you?

(hissing) - I'm in a steam room

at the Turkish bath.

- But that man, Kornblow, will be here any minute.

Suppose you get here in 15 minutes?

Can you make it?

- [Max] I'll be there in time.

Kornblow's got to be finished tonight!

(relaxing classical music) (knocking)

- Come in.

(door thumping) (clattering)

Oh, that's so sweet of you.

(flowers rustling) Thank you so much.

Oh they're lovely, just beautiful, mmm!

Oh these roses, I shall keep them forever.

- That's what you think, I only rented them for an hour.

- Oh, (chuckles) Monsieur Kornblow.

- Call me Montgomery. - Is that your name?

- No, I'm just breaking it in for a friend.

How about getting rid of that mutt?

- Oh, Froufrou's a watchdog.

- Well let him watch somebody else.

- Oh Froufrou won't bother us.

He has such good manners.

- If he had such good manner he'd

get off your lap and give me a seat.

He can stand up better than I can,

he's got twice as many legs.

- Oh, (speaking foreign language).

(knocking)

- I was afraid of that.

Hold everything.

Who is it? - Hey Boss,

you got a woman in there?

- She lives here. - Yeah, but you don't.

She'll have to get you out.

Remember, I'm your bodyguard.

- [Ronald] I'm too old to have a bodyguard.

- Then you're too old to be in there.

- Well, that's pretty logical at that.

We go to my room.

Go down the back way, I'll meet you there in five minutes.

- Oh, no, but what about Froufrou?

You wouldn't want me to leave my little poochie-goochie.

- I'll meet you halfway, bring the poochie

and leave the goochie here.

- (sighs) All right.

(clattering)

(tray rattling)

- I wanted to get loaded tonight, but not this way.

- But, wait a minute!

What about Strauss? - Let Strauss

get his own girl. - Oh no,

but I must have music! - Music she's got to have yet.

(clattering)

Maybe we better call the whole thing off.

- Are you sure you have everything now?

- Well, I got enough to begin with.

- You schweinehund, I teach you...

(thudding)

(glasses clattering) (flowers rustling)

(knocking) Come in.

(door thumping) (latch clicking)

- It's not very discreet of me to come to your room.

Do you think it's wise?

- It's the smartest thing you ever did.

- You seem to be very sure of yourself.

- Why not, I've got to be sure of one of us.

After all, I'm a man, and you're a woman.

I can't think of a better arrangement.

- (chuckles) You men are all alike.

- Yeah, and don't let anybody tell you any different.

Well let's pick up where we left off in your room.

Let's live for the moment.

(knocking)

Well, that takes care of the moment.

- [Corbaccio] Hey Boss, you got a woman in there?

- It's my sister. - She is, huh?

Well I'm her brother, get her out!

- I'll never leave her, I'm mad about her,

I'm crazy about her, I've completely lost my head!

- Well, put your hat on your neck and get out.

- These interruptions are driving me mad!

- Well they're cramping my style, too.

- I'm going back to my room.

- Well, here we go again, the long journey westward.

(clunking) (clattering)

We're gonna go steady,

we'll have to get a small truck.

- Oh hurry, will you?

- You schweinehund, I'll teach you to...

(smacking)

(sighing)

(clattering)

(knocking) - Who's there?

- It's me, the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

- [Corbaccio] Hey Boss, you got a woman out there?

- No! - Well go away,

I got one in here.

- Save me the cork, I'm going fishing.

(thumping)

(panting)

(doors rattling) - Kornblow!

- Ah, Count Pfferman.

Back unexpectedly, eh?

- I missed my connections.

- It's not easy to make connections in Casablanca.

I missed a few myself tonight.

(guests chattering) (chips rattling)

(thumping)

(whistling)

(guests chattering)

(croupiers speaking foreign language)

(thumping)

(dealer speaking foreign language)

(rattling) (thumping)

(rattling)

(dealer speaking foreign language)

- Number five!

(tense music)

(dealer speaking foreign language)

(rattling)

Encore, number five repeats again!

(players chattering)

My assistant will carry to the cashier, monsieur.

(patting) You mean you want to bet

them all again on number five?

- Oh no Rusty, no!

- Hey you crazy, (hands thumping)

You lose a that money!

We got to save something for a rainy day!

- That's impossible, monsieur!

(players chattering)

- Ah, gambling eh? - Monsieur Kronblow,

this gentleman has won twice on number five,

and he wants to bet them all again!

- Well, that's his hard luck.

- But monsieur, it is far over the limit.

If he wins, he will break the bank!

- Who cares about the bank?

I'm running a hotel. - You idiot,

the bank is the hotel!

- Keep your medals on, fat boy.

You know what the odds are

against a number repeating three times, ha!

- Hmm, never mind the odds, I've seen it happen before,

and if it does, it will break the bank.

- Not if I roll the wheel.

You sure you want to go through with this?

Remember what happened in 1929?

Okay. (rattling)

- Stop that wheel! - Sorry, monsieur Gandalou,

the play has started. (rattling)

- Three times in a row, what a sucker (chuckles).

- Number five! (guests chattering)

- Number five, five!

- The richest sucker in Casablanca!

Goodbye, Mr. Chips.

- (mumbles), five, five,

(pounding) five, five!

Hey no kiss a me!

(chips rattling)

- It is very obvious that this was a conspiracy.

Your manager and those two hoodlums

are always together,

they've been waiting for this opportunity,

don't you see that?

I have found out he was never

the manager of the Desert View Hotel.

- What? - He ran a small motel

in the desert, he's an impostor!

You saw how he broke the rule and spun the wheel himself.

You saw how the silent one immediately gave

that secretary a share of the winnings!

- Count, you're right! - We've been tricked!

- The crook! - Worse!

He may be one of the gang

that's been murdering your managers.

- I never thought of that.

Count, if it is not too late,

I humbly offer you the position of manager.

- I accept, but under one condition.

That you give immediate orders

for the arrest of this gang of thieves

and the recovery of the money they have stolen.

- Arrest them at once for conspiracy

to defraud, to rob us, to cheat us.

(sobbing)

- Ah, Annette, don't cry, don't be sad.

We gonna get you out.

- How? - How?

You ask a me how?

It's all your fault, you let-a Rusty break-a the bank!

- Didn't I warn him he was a sucker

to play number five again?

- That's right, it's your fault!

Hey, Pierre! - Pierre?

(sorrowful music) - Pierre!

- Hello, fellows. - Hey (mumbles)?

- How do you feel, eh? - Where are you going?

- (mumbles) I'm on-- - Come on, eh!

- [Annette] (gasps) Pierre!

- Darling! - Come on, you!

- Oh let me talk to her a minute, will 'ya?

- Darling where are they taking you?

- To Paris, by plane,

to be tried by the military authorities.

- Oh no! - Don't worry, sweetheart,

we'll get out of this somehow.

Maybe a miracle will happen.

- Darling I believe in miracles.

- Come on, you!

(snapping) - That's a tough.

That's what you call tough-a luck.

(rustling)

(speaking foreign language)

Hey, why do you do that?

Those are his pinup girls.

- It's a funny thing, I've met a lot of pinup girls,

but I've never been able to pin one down.

(speaking foreign language)

Say, that's not a bad-looking dish, who is it?

- I don't know, her name's Rembrandt.

- Rembrandt?

If that signature's Rembrandt,

it must be part of the treasure!

- The treasure? - The treasure?

- Rusty, where you get that?

You know where the treasure is?

You do?

Hey, he knows where the treasure is!

Now we got to get out of here!

- How? - How?

Again he ask-a me how.

(whistling)

(tense music) - Help help!

Who's the head man?

Oh guard, hurry up, please!

(rattling) (shouting)

Prison guard, hurry up! - Please!

- [Ronald] Mad frog, uh, mad dog!

- Si! - Mad dog!

- Hey, hey! - Get a dog doctor!

- What is the matter with him?

- He's dreaming of a white Christmas.

- White Christmas, hey, (mumbles)!

- Stop shouting! (mumbling)

Keep quiet, we'll never escape if

you're gonna keep screaming!

You learn to keep quiet, that's all.

(mumbling)

Voice of reason, (mumbles) ever seen one, come on!

- [Corbaccio] Come on (mumbles), get her out of there!

- Come on, hurry up!

(hinges squeaking) Here we go now.

- The jewels are all accounted for.

- Very well, let's start packing.

- Have you told Beatrice yet?

- I don't have to tell her,

she'll find out when we leave her here.

- But she'll talk! - Let her talk.

Won't do her any good, we'll be in South America by then.

Very well, mach schnell.

(thumping) (telephone clattering)

- Hello, hello?

Operator, hello, hello?

Will you please give me the Prefect of Police, quickly!

I want to speak to Captain Bruzard, yes.

(footsteps pounding)

(door thumping) - Shh!

I don't wanna hear a word out of you.

(footsteps thudding)

(telephone ringing)

- That might be for Captain Bruzard!

- He should be in his office, taking care of business.

No wonder this place is half empty.

It's a crime the way this jail is run.

- Go ahead, answer it before somebody else does.

- Hello?

- May I speak to Captain Bruzard?

This is Beatrice Reiner talking.

- Well of course, Mademoiselle Reiner.

For you, your eyes, your cheeks, your hair,

my whole chair is at your disposal.

You belong here.

What?

The Count, the treasure?

I'll be right over! (telephone thumping)

The Count's trying to get away with the treasure!

- We got to stop him! - That's easy (mumbles), how?

(earnest whistling)

Say, that's an idea, attention, attention!

All prison guards and personnel

will assemble immediately in the courtyard.

Emergency!

(thumping) Come on!

You go down to the airport and get Pierre.

We go to the hotel.

- I hope you can stop the Count until I can get Pierre!

- Yeah we try, we try, I hope...

(door thumping)

(footsteps pounding)

(tense music)

(footsteps thudding)

- Sh!

(furtive music)

Hey they're packing! - That's what they think,

we're unpacking! (mumbling)

(clattering) (tense music)

- Kurt, Emile, is that you?

(furtive music)

(tense music)

Hmm, no.

(glass thumping)

(suspenseful music)

(plodding music)

(suspenseful music)

(plodding music)

(suspenseful music)

(slamming) Come in!

Kurt, Emile, come in!

What?

(comically tense music) (door thumping)

Is this?

(sniffing)

(glass thumping)

(mysterious music)

(comically tense music)

(slamming) (screaming)

(lid thudding) Ah, ooh!

Ow, ah...

- What's the matter, Max? - Oh that, lid of the trunk

fell on my hand (grunts)!

- Oh come on, have a drink. (wincing)

- Ooh, uh, Emile, (gasps) Emile, come here.

Did I or did I not pack this trunk?

- I don't know.

Oh, you must have put it

(thumping) on top and it fell down.

- Oh, I see, well pick it up.

Put it down here, we pack that later.

(clattering) I have some more

stuff in there.

No hurry up, go down and continue loading the truck.

- Okay, Max. - Oh, ow...

(comically furtive music)

(comically tense music)

(sighing)

(mysterious music)

(rustling)

(scraping) (clacking)

(scraping) (clacking)

(scraping) (clacking)

(sighing)

(rattling)

(clacking)

(dramatic music)

(comically furtive music)

(squeaking)

(cart rattling)

(door clicking)

- Max, the boxes are all in the truck.

- Kurt, come here, look at me.

Am I crazy?

- But, why no.

Max, what is the matter with you?

- Kurt, two minutes ago, I put some shirts

there by the mirror, disappeared.

All my clothes are gone.

I just went through the closet, there is not one suit left!

(bells jingling) Not one suit!

- Max, look. (suspenseful music)

- Uh?

Let's get out of here, quick!

(tense music)

Kurt here are, some very important documents.

Be careful how you pack them.

Uh, give me back my pen, I need it.

- What pen? - The pen I just gave you.

- You didn't give me a pen. - Are you mad?

- But, Max I distinctly remember--

- Don't contradict me! (slapping)

- Your Excellency, I apologize!

- Accepted, take this and pack it!

- Yes sir!

(comically tense music)

- Hey, what's keeping Pierre?

We can't keep this up much longer.

- Take it easy.

This isn't the first time I've hid in a closet.

(scraping)

(comically furtive music)

Upside down!

- [Max] Kurt, get this crate on the truck.

I have some more things to pack.

(knocking) I'm sorry,

we're all filled up.

- Kurt, be careful with that crate.

Remember, there are some jewels in there.

(comically suspenseful music)

(clattering)

(thudding) (metallic clattering)

(wooden clattering)

Oh (sighs)...

(tense music)

(door thumping)

- What is holding us up, Max, the trucks are ready?

- I don't know!

Somehow this trunk got upside down, look at this mess!

If you want to get out of here, help me, quick!

Come on!

(sighing) (rustling)

(tense music)

(comically suspenseful music)

(thumping)

(tense music)

(furtive music)

(door clacking)

(tense music)

(cart clattering)

(comically furtive music)

- What are you doing in here?

- I have new respect for the Count,

he certainly knows to pack a trunk (chuckles).

- We've got to get out of here!

- Well, that presents a very interesting problem.

(dramatic music) (clattering)

(whistling)

(earnest whistling)

Don't you fellows know better

than to open a trunk without knocking?

(thudding) (dispirited music)

(passengers chattering)

(heels clacking)

- Oh, Pierre!

Pierre, the treasure, they're getting away with it!

- It is forbidden to talk to him!

- Please, you must let him go.

It's important, it's an opportunity

to do something for your country!

(thumping) - Come on.

(tense music)

(car rumbling)

- Hey that's Pierre and Annette!

Hey Pierre! - Hey Annette!

- Stop!

(brakes squeaking) Hey Pierre,

you pass-a some trucks?

- Yeah. - That's the treasure,

they're on their way to the airport.

- The airport? - Yeah.

That must be the secret field I saw on the map

when I searched Pfferman's rooms!

Come on, get in! (engine revving)

(plane rumbling)

- Pierre, there it is!

Step on it!

(brakes squeaking)

- Darling, take this car and get Bruzard!

We've got to stop that plane!

- You haven't got a P-38 on you, have you?

- Come on, let's go!

(door thumping) (engine revving)

(plane droning)

(suspenseful music)

(engines roaring)

(wind howling)

Hey fellows, look!

Let's get-a that truck!

- Why don't you take off?

- I can't, I have to head into the wind with this load.

- Well then hurry up!

(tense music)

(scuffling)

(engine revving)

(suspenseful music)

(whistling)

- Hey Pierre, get a closer!

- I can't, Corbaccio!

- Hey fellas look, a ladder!

(furtive music)

(suspenseful music)

(clattering)

(banging)

(thumping) (clattering)

(thumping) (screaming)

(bellowing)

(clattering) (scuffling)

(whistling)

(fists thumping)

(fist thumping)

(scuffling)

(fist thudding)

(clattering)

(snapping)

(engines roaring)

- Help!

Help!

Help!

Help, help, help!

(clattering)

(thumping)

(smacking)

(earnest whistling) (suspenseful music)

- Hey you crazy!

What are we gonna do?

- Cut, cut, cut the switches!

- Yeah, cut the switches! (mumbling)

Cut the switches! - Oh yeah!

(footsteps thumping)

(clicking)

(engine revving)

- Hey Rusty, Rusty,

- Hey, you're (mumbles)! - stop it, stop it, Rusty!

Stop it!

What are we gonna do?

- We'll have to keep going till we run out of gas!

- Oh, oh-hoo... - We've only got

2,000 gallons left. - Hey, stop it,

we'll all be killed!

- Put your foot on something down there, will 'ya!

Hurry, (mumbles)! (mumbling)

- Help, help, help!

- What's the matter? - We've got to revive him!

He's the only one who can

handle the plane! - Oh, yes, oh well sure!

(plane rumbling)

(tires screeching)

(brakes squealing) (thumping)

(suspenseful music)

(plane rumbling)

- Look out!

(water splashing)

Come on, come on you sleeping beauty!

- [Corbaccio] Hey, get up there,

we'll all be killed! - Get up there,

and hop into that seat

(mumbling) there, brother.

(smacking)

(smacking)

- Hey, you! - Get up front!

The master race!

(rumbling)

- Look, out, look out for that car!

(horn honking)

- Here it is Thursday and we're running

into a Sunday driver!

(plane rumbling)

- Hey, back on firma terra! (mumbling)

- Yeah, back on North Africa eh (chuckles)?

(truck rumbling)

(chuckles) I knew you could do it.

- Hey, look out for this car!

- Oh!

(tense music) (rumbling)

(tires screeching)

(thumping)

- Saved (chuckles)!

(trucks rumbling)

- Follow 'em!

(engine revving)

(tires screeching)

(rumbling)

(engine revving)

- Well here we are, up in the air.

What a stupid remark that is.

- Hey Doolittle, you just went through a red light!

- Look, no hands! (chuckling)

(screaming)

(crashing) Whoa, oh, ow!

(debris clattering)

(tense music) (thumping)

(rubble clattering)

- No hands, huh?

(Corbaccio gasping)

(Beatrice coughing)

Hey, we're back in jail! - Home again.

(thudding)

There goes the pilot.

(clattering)

(chattering)

(tense music)

Come on, come, come on in!

We got your room all ready!

- You cur, I'll get (mumbles)!

(grunting) (scuffling)

(fists thudding)

(scuffling) (fists thudding)

(suspenseful music)

(fist thudding)

(brakes squeaking)

(Max grunting)

(Max panting)

You traitor!

(smacking)

- Heinrich Stubel, I arrest you for the murders

of the three managers of the Hotel Casablanca!

(suspenseful music)

(tense music) - You schweinehund!

- Now there's a man with both feet on the ground,

until they hang him.

(relaxing music) - Look!

(sighing)

If a thing like that could only happen to me.

(pleasant music)

(dramatic music)