Original subtitles

(door opening)

- Doug.

Don't forget to take out the trash tomorrow

before you go to work.

What is that?

- Transmission.

- What is it doing there?

- Well the garage is still flooded from the storm,

besides the light's better.

- Where are we supposed to eat?

- We already ate.

- Breakfast, Doug. Where are we supposed to eat breakfast?

- There.

- Why do you always do this to me?

- Okay, Dorothy, what is this, this time?

- This is more of your self centered stupidity.

Like drinking milk out of the milk carton

or waiting your mouth on the tablecloth

or putting your dirty socks behind the toilet.

- I've told you

men can't get all fired up about being tidy.

- Don't you care about anything that matters to me?

- Yeah, do you care about anything that matters to me?

- All that matters to you is eating, sleeping, and burping.

- Well all you care about is picking,

everything with you is pick, pick, pick.

Don't put wet towels on the bed.

Don't clip your toenails on the couch.

Don't forget to put the toilet seat down.

I don't care where the toilet seat goes.

Don't you have anything better to do with your time

besides pick?

- You are leaving!

- This is my house.

(jazz music)

- Hey.

- Dorothy threw me out.

- That's terrible.

Come on in. You want to talk about it or something.

- I kinda need place to crash.

- You need a place for the night?

You got it, come on in.

- Actually,

I need a place to live.

You don't think our friendship

could survive living together.

- Do you?

(jazz music)

(buzzing)

(knocking on door)

(coughing)

(knocking on door)

(door opening)

- Dorothy?

(door closing)

(electronic music)

? We never thought we'd find the place where we belong

? Don't have to stand alone

? Never left to fall

? Don't need permission to decide what you believe

? Woo

? I said jump

? Down on Jump Street

? I said jump

? Down on Jump Street

? Your friend could be there when your back is to the wall

? You'll find you'll need us cause there's

? No one else to call

? When it was hopeless a decision's what you need

? You better be ready to, be ready to

? Jump

? 21 Jump Street

- I had no idea you were this good with cereal.

- Cereal, oatmeal, cinnamon danish.

- Raisin rounds?

- My specialty.

- I guess this means I gotta impress you with dinner?

- No you don't.

- What, you don't trust me in the kitchen?

- I'm already impressed.

Marcus, Marcus, you're going to be late for work.

- I know.

- Well, you gotta go home and change.

- Not if you let me borrow something.

How about your green sweater dress?

- You look good in green.

- Oh, Marcus.

- I know, I know.

- It's just that I've never been this happy before.

- Me either.

You know something else.

- What?

- I like my cereal soggy.

- Morning, Blowfish, how are thing?

- Leaking.

- Hey, Hanson.

- That's two demerits for being late officer.

- I know, I know.

- Morning, Judy.

- Marcus.

- You guys ever get the feeling

someone's looking through your underwear drawer?

The guys been through all the expense accounts.

- Maintenance reports.

- Vacations schedules.

- At least twice.

- Hey, what's your opinion about all this stuff?

- Excuse me, Office Hoffs, but do you mind

Mr. Rainy going through your underwear drawer?

- You guys the city's trying to cut corners everywhere,

ours wasn't the only department to be audited.

So Penhall, how's a going?

Any sign of peace talks yet?

- No, not even.

At first it was like I was really the dumper,

but this morning it all made sense.

- What made sense?

- Well,

down deep

all women hate men, it's that envy thing.

Men got what women can't have.

So, you know, they resent our

- Plumbing.

- Exactly

- Very Freudian, Doug.

- So from now on it's just me and Ioki, huh?

Two men having fun and none of that plumbing envy stuff,

because we have the same parts, right?

- Uh, Hoffs can I see you in my office?

- Right away, Captain.

- And besides you make a hell of a cute couple.

- Anything on the Lovers Lane flasher?

- Not yet but I'm interviewing witnesses over at Bower High

- That's good enough.

Take Inspector Rainy along with you.

- I'm sorry.

- Councilman Davis is watching this audit very carefully.

He called this morning, decided he'd like Inspector Rainy

to go out in the field.

- To check up on our procedures?

- No to yank my chain, but that's besides the point.

The Councilman requested it, I'm giving you the job.

- So I'll take him out and show him by the book

and bring him back.

- Look I know everyone resents the hell out of this guy

for being here, but the sooner we get him off our backs,

the better.

- Okay, playtime starts after five, Mr. Rainy.

- Good point, Officer.

So what do think, does your Captain know about us?

- We certainly wouldn't be here if he did.

- Oh.

- But I don't feel real good

about keeping this from him, Marcus.

I mean it's not as if we

are doing anything wrong, it's just.

- But you respect the man.

- I do.

- And you don't like secrets.

- No.

- So, when I'm done with Jump Street in a couple of days,

let's take him out for a drink and tell him.

- We could tell everybody if you want?

- Sure, make it a party.

- We could even send out announcements.

- Yeah, something like Marcus Jill Rainy and Judith...

- Ann

- Ann Hoffs, announce that they worked late one night,

started talking, went out for chili burgers,

fell in love.

- You don't think that sounds to corny do you?

- Hmm, we may even get some gifts.

(laughing)

- You know how long it took me

to get Anna to Lovers Lane.

Six months.

Then Mr. Perv comes along with his

- Um Ned, what we really need is a description.

- What do you think it looked like?

- His face, Ned, his build.

- Oh,

well he was a white guy.

- Kind of brown hair, I guess.

Maybe a little longish,

in the back.

- Longish?

- In the back.

- The funny thing is,

I think guys look completely gross with long hair.

I mean Chuck, my boyfriend, he has a buzz.

Mostly it's because he's on the wrestling team,

but also because I like the way it feels.

He used to have uh...

- Just the facts, ma'am.

- Huh?

- The descriptions, Cindy.

- He was about six feet I think.

- Well what else do you remember?

- That's it.

- And what about your girlfriend,

did she get a better look?

- I wasn't there with a girl.

I was up there with Roger.

- Oh.

- I ain't weird or nothing,

you don't take a babe up to Simmons Drive.

- You don't?

- No.

- What do you take?

- Binoculars.

(sighs)

- So six foot, male, Caucasian, with brown hair.

- Boy that narrows it down.

- Okay, smart ass.

- You know what I think?

- What?

- I think your Captain told you to take me

on the most boring case possible.

Anything to keep the city auditor off your back.

(yelling)

- Give me back my purse!

- Let's go.

- No wait, you better stay.

(dramatic music)

(yelling)

- Back off, man. I mean it.

- Drop it.

- Be still, be still.

- This is your idea of a gourmet dinner?

- It's 100% beef.

(laughing)

- Laugh if you want.

You haven't lived until you've tasted one of Rainy's

world famous barbecued dogs.

Here.

To my hero.

- To mine.

(clinking)

- Even though you almost got me

in a lot of trouble today, Marcus.

- That's funny I thought the kid had his blade

under my chin.

- You know what I mean.

You shouldn't have been there at all.

- I didn't want him to get away.

I'm a bad loser.

- Yeah, me too.

- Besides watching you tear up those punks

with your cowboy boots pounding on pavement and

gun in your hand.

(laughing)

I never seen anything so beautiful in my life.

You know what time it is?

- Time to take the hot dogs out of the fire?

- No, put out the fire.

- Hi honey, I'm home.

You have offended my family.

Look I got groceries.

- You didn't have to do that.

- No, I wanted to man.

This is great.

Men, living together like real men.

Look what I got.

Look at this.

Man's food.

And this?

- Man's food.

- You got it.

- Great.

- Hey I want you to know something,

living with me is gonna be a real breeze.

I don't take up a lot of space you know.

I got like six shirts, three pairs of blue jeans.

- This is gonna be good.

It's nice having someone around.

- You and me, Harry, let the good times roll.

What is that?

- Cuisinart.

- That's French, right?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, girls love those things.

- Cuisinarts.

- Right.

This place, this kitchen, and those lovely appliances,

girls are gonna be knocking the door down to get in here.

You trust me on that, don't ya?

Huh?

Huh?

- Yeah.

- Sure you do, you little gunslinger.

(splashing)

- Uh, I'll clean it up, okay.

I'm sorry.

(telephone ringing)

- Morning, Captain.

- Mr. Rainy.

Gentlemen.

- That's big.

- The Simmons Drive flasher hit again last night.

I want the two of you on this, full time.

- That is big.

- Captain, wait a minute, you want us to hang out

at Lovers Lane looking for a pervert.

We can do that.

- Morning, guys.

- Hey watch out for the Captain,

he's like in a real weird mood.

- Ahh he'll lighten up after the audit's over.

(telephone ringing)

- Yeah.

Just a minute hold on.

Hey, Rainy!

- Yeah.

- Line one, it's your wife.

(dramatic music)

- Judy, wait.

Hold on, listen to me a minute.

- Just tell me Marcus. I want the truth.

- Yes, I'm married.

The situation is complicated.

I don't love her anymore.

- But you do love me.

And you're gonna ask her for a divorce any day now,

if I'll only be patient, right?

- Judy, I didn't say that.

- You didn't have to.

(tires screeching)

(dramatic music)

(crying)

- So what do you think?

- Costa Rica, Maui, Aspen.

What are you becoming a travel agent?

- No, no, I just want to stop talking about it

and actually go on a vacation.

That is if you're interested in you and me alone,

no work, no distractions.

Just a whole lot of um...

- Yes.

Why don't we go this weekend?

- Okay.

- I mean, you know, you're sick of talkin' about it,

I'm sick of talking about it.

- Wait, no!

Not this weekend, I have that party.

- What're you talkin' about, I thought you wanted to go?

- Oh, I was hoping you'd go with me.

- What party?

- The one I told you about.

- You didn't tell me about any party.

- Come on.

It's gonna be great.

It's gonna be friends mostly

and just a couple people from work.

- How many people from work?

- A couple.

Hundred.

Everybody from criminal courts.

- I'm going on vacation.

- Oh come on, you know how these things are.

- No look, I'm going to Costa Rica.

- I have to go to this.

And you just don't go to these things without a date.

- Listen, I hate these people.

And I'm gonna get stuck talking

to Councilman Davis all night, I know it.

- No, no, no, no, he won't be there, I promise.

I want you to go with me.

What if we go bowling afterwards?

If we go bowling in Aspen?

(sighs)

- How about Maui?

- You should've returned my calls last night.

- You shouldn't be up here.

- Judy, I don't care if people see us together,

we've got to talk.

- I got work to do.

Marcus, no.

I don't want you to touch me anymore.

- Don't do this.

- Marcus, you lied to me.

About something so important.

- I should've told you sooner.

- I didn't tell me at all.

- Judy,

my marriage is not a happy one.

Not for me, not for my wife.

But each time I went to tell you,

I got so scared you'd react this way.

- This way.

Marcus, I thought I knew you.

I thought I knew us.

Now I find out I've been walking around

like some idiot because I don't know anything at all.

- You can't shut me out like this.

What we have is so good.

You just can't throw it away.

- Marcus,

I don't want to see you anymore, I mean it.

- That's it.

- Marcus.

? Don't forgive me for never calling you

? And every dinner where I don't show

? I don't know, but think I'm fallin' for you

? You'll never know, you'll never know

? Don't understand if I say I'm leavin' you

? And don't cut me loose cause I tell you so

? I don't know, but I think I'm saying

? Don't ever go, don't ever go

? You'll have to read between the lines

? I never say exactly what I mean

? You think you know me, but I'm not what I seem

? You'll have to read between the lines

(whistling)

(singing poorly)

- Penhall.

- Yeah, what?

- What are you doing?

- Oh Ioki, I've been doing everything.

I put the laundry in a stack by the door

and the garbage is all ready to be dumped

and I'm putting the final touches here

on my personal hygiene.

(telephone ringing)

- [Answering Machine] Hi it's Judy, you know what to do.

- [Marcus] Judy, pick up.

Please.

I know you're just sitting there, come on.

We gotta talk, talk to me, please.

(slamming of phone)

(dramatic music)

- Marcus, this is the ladies' room.

- Did you hear today is my last day?

- Well what do you want me to say, I'm disappointed?

- No, damn it, I want you to listen.

You act like you're the only one who has something invested

in this relationship.

- Had, because we don't have a relationship anymore.

- Because I lied?

For god's sake, Judy, you're gonna tell me you never lie.

- No, I don't.

- How about to your Captain, about us?

How about lying to everyone sitting out in that room?

- I didn't lie to you.

- I know, baby.

I'd give anything to make the hurt I caused you...

- Marcus!

Stop it!

Just stop touching me, stop calling me,

stop following me around!

I told you how I feel.

- What do you want?

You want me to crawl on my hands and knees,

howling after you like a dog?

Want me to lick your shoes?

Want me to tear my heart out,

want my to beg for mercy?

- I want you to leave me alone!

That's what I want.

- I can't.

I can't stand not hearing you say you love me.

- Marcus, it's over.

- No.

I'm not gonna lose you.

I'll do whatever it takes.

- Hey, Judy.

Is that guy buggin' you back there, or what?

- No, um I,

it's just Marcus and I are,

were involved.

- Yeah sure, you and that yo-yo right.

- I broke it off with him and now he's angry.

- Wait a minute, you had a romp

with the guy who was sent to audit the program.

- It wasn't a romp.

- How could you do something so stupid?

I mean this guy could affect your job,

he could affect everybody's job.

- He's not going to do anything.

- Well what in the hell were you thinking?

- I was thinking I had finally met someone

I was crazy about, Doug.

And what are you saying,

I should ignore those feelings just because

he gets his paycheck from the same place as me.

- Shouldn't sleep with someone you work with.

- Oh that's rich, coming from you, Doug.

The same guy was dying to get into my bed,

not long ago.

- Well that was different?

- Why?

- Because,

because it was me.

- So while this audit stuff's going on,

it turns out Judy and the guy are uh, you know.

- You're kidding me, how'd you find that out.

- She told Penhall.

I guess he let her have it or something.

- Well it's not exactly her best move.

- Well look, you've got men and women working together,

I mean where else are people supposed to meet.

- You and I met at a dinner party, remember?

- Yeah, Penhall's dinner party

- So what's the difference.

- You met Penhall at work.

- Look all I'm saying is

if you're gonna get involved with someone you work with,

you better be prepared for the consequences.

- I thought women were supposed to be understanding

about this stuff.

- Well they are.

And since it's usually their careers that suffer most,

women know how to avoid the situation.

- You mean the smart ones?

- No, I mean the practical ones.

- Like you?

- That only happened with us because...

- Because you're practical.

- You wanted to see me.

- Come in.

These reports just arrived from city administration.

Seems they're not too pleased with our cavalier attitude

towards police procedure.

- Cavalier?

- It says here that you deliberately pursued

an armed suspect, while in the company of a civilian.

- What?

- When you were in the field with Rainy,

did you apprehend the purse snatcher?

- Yes.

- Procedure's very clear here Hoffs,

if a civilian's involved you're supposed to call for backup.

- I know, Captain.

- It also says here that you failed

to properly identify yourself to the suspect.

That you made personal stops on city time

and that your witness interviews are incomplete and sloppy.

- Captain, that's not true.

- Well whatever it is, it's going on your record

and on our audit report.

Now you want to tell me what the hell is going on here?

- It's um,

it's just a misunderstanding.

That's all, I can clear it up.

- Good.

Cause with the city crawling down our throats like this,

we can't afford misunderstandings.

(footsteps)

(laughing)

- Marcus.

- Judy.

- I want you to refile those reports

the way it really happened.

- I filed the reports the way it really happened.

(slapping)

- You son of a bitch.

- You know everything is so cut and dry with you.

We fall in love it's perfect,

you find out I'm married it's over.

I didn't try to fall in love with you Judy,

but it happened and now it's complicated.

But that doesn't mean that we can pretend

like our feelings have just disappeared.

- Are you going to change those reports?

- Are you going to talk this out?

Together?

- We've said all we have to say to each other.

You're burning me.

- You're burning me.

(overlapping conversations)

- It's just I think it's interesting,

a cop and a deputy DA,

you don't see that very often.

- It's not that weird, Rachel.

- So, how do you enjoy police work?

- Well, I grew up around it, my father was a cop.

- A whole family of cops then.

- Yes, I think it has something to do with inbreeding.

- Rachel.

Jackie.

You ladies look beautiful tonight.

- Thank you.

You look pretty dapper yourself, Councilman.

- Officer Hanson.

- Councilman Davis.

How's the audit going?

- Well, so far everything's copesthetic.

- Excellent.

- He's thirsty.

- Ahh.

(classical music)

- Tom certainly is cute.

- Cute. Cute meaning what Rachel.

- Jackie it's off hours stop reading into things.

It's just you have a very bright future.

- Oh, and the right match can only make it brighter right?

- Well there's no point in sleeping your way

down the ladder, is there?

- Tom.

- Does this mean we can go away now?

- Yes.

- Where are you going?

- We're going away now.

- Excuse me.

We're going bowling.

(laughing)

- Why is it that I ended up in the skirt?

- Cause it fits you.

- This sure as hell better work,

cause my feet are killing me.

- If it doesn't work, Fuller will kill you.

Where the hell is this goofball?

- You borrowed my watch again?

- Well, I figured it would clash with your outfit.

- Right.

You sure do borrow things a lot.

- If it bothers you, I'll stop.

- No, no.

- I'll stop.

- No.

- Did you put the trash bags out for the truck,

this morning?

- I was supposed to do that?

You know, before I moved in with you,

I didn't realize just how absolutely clean

you really were.

- Why because I don't like pizza stuck to the top of the TV?

- Your apartment, man,

it's like waiting for the original owners to move in.

- You know, you have no consideration for my feelings.

None.

- Okay, okay, here.

Here's your watch, are you happy?

- I don't believe it.

- Hey it was working a minute ago.

- No, it!

- Thank you, god.

- You said it.

- Hold it, bozo.

- Yeah you, hold it right there.

- Come on, don't run.

- Come on fella stop!

Don't run please.

Give me a break will ya.

(thudding)

- Come here, buddy.

Hey, you're not naked.

- Disappointed?

- What are you doing out here?

- I'm looking for my daughter.

- What are you perverts doing here?

- We're looking for a flasher.

- You though I was a flasher?

- Yeah, afraid so.

(slapping)

- Pervert.

- Should've come to me with this much sooner, Hoffs.

- Well, it was just that I was hoping I could

deal with this myself.

- Yeah, did you try?

- Well I pulled his file.

I thought maybe he'd done this before.

- And?

- Nothing.

His record's clean.

(sighs)

- This puts me in a very difficult position, Officer.

I mean if I go to Councilman Davis

and say one of his boys is sexually harassing

one of my officers, he's gonna want proof.

I don't have proof.

He's gonna think I'm pulling some stunt

to get our program out of hot water.

- I can't believe I let this happen.

- Yeah, well,

I don't have to tell you it wasn't very smart

getting involved with Rainy.

On the other hand,

nobody has the right to come after you professionally,

no matter what happened between the two of you.

- I just want him to stop.

- Unfortunately, none of the options are pleasant.

I mean, you can try and solve this with him on your own

or you can file a formal complaint,

in which case, your private life is gonna be ripped open

in front of a lot of people.

- I'm not sure I could take that right now.

- Then I'm not sure what to tell you.

Cause in the end it comes down to

your word against his.

(door closing)

- I'm glad you came.

- Didn't know what else to do.

You got me.

- See, I don't want to get you,

not the way you mean.

- Then why the hell are you doing this to me?

- Cause I didn't know what else to do.

Please, tell me you don't love me.

I'm begging you, tell me you don't love me

and I'll be out of your life forever.

- I can't tell you that.

- That's why I can't let you go.

- Marcus,

I gave you everything.

Everything I have

because you and I felt so right together.

- We are right together.

- But you lied to me.

And now you're jeopardizing my career.

- I didn't mean to hurt you.

Judy, you're best thing that's ever happened to me.

But I didn't know how else to make you listen.

- What do you want me to do?

- Be with me,

let me touch you again, make you happy.

- If I come back, will you change those reports?

- I'd do anything you want.

Just give me another chance.

- I gotta think.

Okay?

- Okay.

(footsteps)

(dramatic music)

- [Marcus On Tape] Please, tell me you don't love me.

I'm begging you, tell me you don't love me

and I'll be out of your life forever.

- I took the garbage out this morning.

Garbage man said it was the cleanest in the whole block.

(exhales loudly)

You know Harry, this silent treatment

is really starting to make me feel bad.

- You're supposed to feel bad.

- I'm sorry that I yelled at you last night.

- You screamed!

- I was mad, only for a minute.

Oh come on, you know I care about you.

I appreciate you putting me up and all that.

- Sure gotta funny way of showing it.

- Well,

I admit that I'm a little lousy in the

feeling department, but the truth is

I don't know what I would have done if

you hadn't have been there for me.

You forgive me?

- Well...

- Oh come on,

give me a little kiss, come on.

- No.

- Right here.

- I don't want to.

- I'll still respect you.

It'll make us both feel a lot better.

Come on, little kiss, come on.

- How about a handshake?

- Okay, sure.

Now that all that's through, I gotta go hit the bushes.

- So what do you think?

- Impressive.

- What do you think?

- Very impressive.

- [Marcus] You had time to think?

- Yeah.

- And?

- I was wearing a wire last night.

- I see.

- I want you to change those reports.

- So it seems.

- And if you don't,

I going downtown to file an official complaint

of sexual harrassment.

- Very clever, Officer.

You're also bluffing.

- There's not a jury in the world that won't convict you

after hearing that tape, Marcus.

- Judy, come on.

You're gonna tell a packed court room

how many times we made love and where

and what we whispered in each other's ear, huh?

- If I have to, I will.

- No, you won't.

You're just holding this over my head,

so I'll give up without a fight.

Well I won't do it.

I'm not gonna slink away with my tail between my legs

cause you gotta tape.

(exhales loudly)

- Hi Judy, come in.

It's good to see you again,

I've been hearing a lot about you lately.

- Oh, I'll bet.

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by that.

- It's alright.

- Please, sit down.

Actually Tom did mention your problem.

Are you here to file a complaint?

- I'm here because I have no where else to go.

- Is this evidence?

Enough to incriminate?

- He even knows I have it.

- But he doesn't care.

Well this will hold up in court,

but things could get pretty ugly.

- For me.

- Well, for everybody. I mean...

Forgive me Judy, but you must've realized the risk.

- Of course I realized.

But I didn't care.

Jackie, I had that feeling.

You know, when you think this man you met

might become a part of your life forever.

You must know how that feels.

- Yeah, yeah I do.

- Except now, it's become dirty laundry,

being heard all over city hall.

- He did that Judy, not you.

- That doesn't make it any easier.

- Actually there might be another way.

This is not gonna be easy,

but we could just stop this before it goes any further.

(knocking on door)

- Ladies,

I was just telling Captain Fuller that

Mr. Rainy assures me,

these charges are completely unfounded.

- Mr. Rainy is lying.

I called this meeting, Councilman,

because I though you might prefer

to handle one of your employee's indiscretions

behind closed doors.

Now be advised that Officer Hoffs and I

are prepared to take this before the district judge.

- Oh Jackie, come on now, don't...

- Councilman Davis,

during business hours please refer to me as Deputy Garrett

or simply Ms. Garrett.

(clears throat)

- Okay,

Ms. Garrett.

Mr. Rainy has been a valued employee.

- With a spotless record.

- For many years and I sincerely hope that these allegations

are not politically motivated.

- The complaint is sexual harassment, Councilman,

not politics.

- And Officer Hoffs says she has proof.

So before we go making snap judgements,

why don't we hear what she has to say.

- Fine, we're all waiting.

- [Judy On Tape] Then why in the hell

are you doing this to me?

- [Marcus On Tape] Because I had to.

Because I didn't know what else to do.

Please, tell me you don't love me.

I begging you, tell me you don't love me

and I'll be out of your life forever.

- [Judy On Tape] I can't tell you.

- [Marcus On Tape] That's why I can't let you go.

- [Judy On Tape] Marcus, I gave you everything.

Everything I had, because you and I felt so right together.

- [Marcus On Tape] We are right together.

- [Judy On Tape] But you lied to me.

- What Officer Hoffs says is true.

I filled out the reports inaccurately.

I did it because I want her back.

(footsteps)

- Judy.

I'm sorry, Judy.

(birds chirping)

- Hi.

- Hi.

- How've you been?

- Fine.

- I got transferred to a new department.

Job's okay,

pay's not as good.

I also got divorced.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- Don't be.

It's the best thing for both of us.

Well,

see you around.

- Take care, Marcus.

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

? Jump!

? Jump!

? Jump!

(dramatic music)