Original subtitles

Oh, yeah.

Just like this.

Thank you.

That's the griever again.

Please fuck my ass, Cod.

Don, I already told you I'm not gonna fuck your ass today.

You need help.

I can't fuck your ass every minute of every day.

It's killing my cock.

But I need it.

I need your large cock inside my asshole.

Please don't say no.

Please stop.

I can't.

Please baby.

What the fuck is this, Scott?

What kind of fucking sick joke is this?

Listen there.

My cock needs a break for a few hours.

I'm gonna go take a nap.

And when I get back, I promise I'll take the chains off.

Please try and understand where I'm coming from.

I'll see you in a few hours.

What are you gonna teach me?

You want a cocky ass?

Do what you want.

Guys, come on.

Get it together.

Now. Yeah, and this needs to be done yesterday. I mean, this is ridiculous.

There's a really, really, really one in front and behind, and I'm, you know,

we're trying to make an impression here, so come on.

Okay, tell Mr. London I'm in front of the reception fence, and we'll see him

a second, okay?

So, how is the planning coming along? Hi, Minister London. Good to see you.

Everything is going as planned.

Everything is on schedule, and I think you're going to be really, really

impressed with the way we've held your daughter's wedding.

Wonderful. And the security?

Yes. We have security surrounding the perimeter, as well as we have some

undercover agents inside the wedding. So everything is going to be perfect.

I understand you're under a lot of pressure today to make this go smoothly,

I really, really cannot...

address to you the importance of how tight the security must be today.

We have taken every precaution.

So, I mean, all I can tell you is that everything is going to be perfect.

going to be very, very pleased.

All right. So what's the plan for today's crash?

All right. I'm excited. I'm glad you asked me. I told you I wouldn't let us

for our biggest crash of the summer.

I'm listening. This is a mother load right here.

See this article?

Prime Minister's daughter is getting married to an American at a summer home.

Biggest wedding in the century.

Are you fucking kidding me?

No, I am not. And you know what that means?

Lots of high class asses. Whoa, I love it. How are you? Good to see you.

Marcus!

Marcus!

Yes, dear?

Roxy's not going to come out of the room.

Would you like me to make a statement to the press?

The prime minister can't handle any of these situations, and his wedding's a

flop.

Look.

Stop being selfish.

This isn't your wedding.

Go be a man.

Go be a father to your daughter.

Here we go again. Round and round with the bitching.

Here's a great idea.

Go get yourself another drink.

Go fuck yourself.

Go kiss my left nut.

Sweetheart, you don't have any nuts left.

Bro, I don't know about this one. I know we want to go out with the bank, but

the fucking prime minister?

You're talking about jail time.

Jail time?

Man, forget about the prime minister. I have been planning this for weeks. It is

taken care of. Trust me. It is on.

So what are we this time?

Brothers with the maple syrup conglomerate? Nope.

Venture capitalists that invest in porn?

Nope.

Well, what then?

Do you remember that Asian bride that I got caught going down out of the

bathroom sink?

Well, Dr.

Ash, we can doctor you. Relax, relax.

I'm your wife.

Gynecologist? That's right.

How the fuck does that play?

Well, you know, you need a certain number of doctors at these high -class

in case one of the important guests gets sick or something.

Dude. Bro, you can go with that fucked up job description.

I'm going to make up my own.

I just don't think I can go through with this.

My dad's put so much pressure on me to get married.

I told you this wasn't a date. You should have canceled this month ago.

Aren't you the one that's supposed to convince me to go through with this?

One penis for the rest of your life?

Are you insane?

Wedding dinner?

Mom, I just don't know. Of course you don't, honey. You get that from your

father's side of the family.

What am I thinking?

Well, let me see. I can guess. You're thinking, one cock for the rest of my

life. Am I right? Mom!

London. Oh, please.

I've been there.

Look, I know it's a big commitment.

But marriage is an act.

Men don't really think that we want one piece of man ass for the rest of our

lives.

I can't believe we're having this conversation.

Probably should have had it long ago. Look, we're cacaholics, honey.

You get that from my side of the family, okay?

Don't worry about anything.

I'm speechless.

Rock, your mom is right.

If anything, we'll be in the hallway.

Okay, sweetie.

One willy, the rent of my life.

I'm so fucking horny. Me too.

As soon as we eat this food, we're fucking off home. I have no problem with

that.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes. You can hand that over, sir. Whoa, whoa.

This family we share. Mother!

Oh, man, Jesus Christ. My fucking mother -in -law's a fucking hot, alcoholic

milk. What a fucking lust, bro.

Oh, look

at

her. Look at me, man. She got the shit out of me.

I'm out of your pocket man. I like the way you're thinking I got dibs on that,

huh?

Look at them fucking cans.

I know. She's coming right this way.

So, you boys having fun?

Yeah, great time.

Yeah, great party.

Well, you know what they say about big parties.

No, I don't. Yeah, your husband throws a really good wedding.

You're cute.

What's your name?

I'm Scott.

You are?

My name's Pat.

But my special friend called me... Clicky Cat.

Pleasure to meet you.

So, what do you say you and I get out of here?

Come on, baby. I'll let you know.

Jet.

Hello. I'd like to introduce myself to your friend.

Yes, honey. This is, um... Scott. Scott, yes.

Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, Scott.

Nice to meet you.

So you having a good time?

Great time. We're having a great time.

Wonderful, wonderful.

Are you unacquainted?

Yes, but actually I think I'm looking for a refill.

Oh, you get yourself a refill.

Yes, I'll be back shortly.

Interesting lady, that one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Look. So, Scott, what do you do?

Well, I'm, uh, the, uh... Oh, don't tell me.

You're one of them, aren't you?

The agents?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm one of... yeah.

You're doing a wonderful job. Lovely character.

Very good. Totally fooled me. Thank you. For a second there. Thank you.

Very good.

Um, would you, uh, do me a favor?

Sure. My daughter's upstairs and she doesn't want anyone to look out for a

on her.

I really trust you to go up there and keep an eye on her for me.

Would you do that?

I mean, I know it's not in your job description, but I'll take it as a

favor.

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

No problem. I feel so much better because it's a very big day and I just

make sure she's okay. Anything I can do to help.

I really appreciate it. No problem. I really do.

Come here.

Jimmy, if I could take this man up to my daughter's bedroom, please. Yes, sir.

And then just come back down to me, okay? Just follow him. He'll take you

straight. Thank you very much.

I mean, it's just that we lost a lot of really good men out there, you know?

Okay, this is the Prime Minister's daughter's room.

Okay, this is more than a little bit weird to me. I'm actually just going to

head back out to the party. Listen.

If the Prime Minister tells you to go into her room, you have to.

Or else you'll be out here.

Okay?

Who

the

fuck are you?

To be honest, I wasn't even invited to this party. Now you're dead.

The prime minister thinks I'm secret service or something and sent me in here

check up on you. And he kind of scares the shit out of me, so I'm just going

along with whatever the fuck he said.

If that makes any sense.

Do you expect me to say something right now?

Stop crying, what else? I don't know.

Is there anything I can do for you?

No.

I'm just thinking about things.

One willy for the rest of my life.

Yeah. I hear that.

You know, I don't even have a bachelorette party.

And I know my husband did.

Yeah? And I know they hired hookers for him.

And you plan on being faithful the whole time you're married?

Absolutely. I'm going to be a completely loyal and perfect little wife to him.

And this is?

I'm not going to be married for another hour.

This is my bachelorette party.

Listen, frankly, your dad scares the living shit out of me, so I would love

but... Fuck my dad.

He took me away from all my friends and made me go live in England when I was

younger. I do what I want, and I want you.

I'm going to come over here and eat my fucking pussy.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, God.

I can't believe I'm going to be getting married in an hour.

I'm just lying here on my back with my legs open.

than my husband by like double.

This is what I call a bachelorette part.

My poor husband would never think a thing about it.

As he's lying there, I'll fuck him tonight on our honeymoon.

And I'll be thinking about nothing down on your clock earlier.

So you go around fucking all the brides.

Rule number 12.

husband to be

Oh, it does. It doesn't affect me.

Aren't they all?

Aren't they all?

What do you think's it through?

One vagina for the rest of your life.

Good job.

Fuck.

Just make sure that the chick lives before I say a word.

Any chance you could fuck yourself, father?

That's my specialty.

I'm just running by the day.

I have an exorcism to get through after this, so let's keep it rolling.

All right, here she comes.

Now or never. Time to go. Better you than me.

Fuck.

Father. Yes, mister.

Am I doing the right thing here?

I'm a priest, not a guidance counselor. Just get it going. I have an exorcism to

get to.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called

wedding.

Cosmic, magical wedding.

A wedding is for infinity.

And that's a damn long time.

But I'm here to tell you there's something else.

There's the legal system.

So when you call up that shrink in Sherman Oaks,

You know the one.

The one I'm talking about. The one that you ask, is everything all right? I want

you to ask him, can you up my prescription meds?

Because I'm married now.

Balls in a vice. I'm sorry.

Father Brando couldn't make it. This guy was cheap. It's the last minute.

What are you wearing? It's lovely.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Roxy, do you take...

It's coming to me.

Voodoo. Voodoo.

Roxy, do you take voodoo to be your legally bound husband?

I do.

And you?

Voodoo.

Do you take Roxy to be your legally bound wife

for all of your days, never to part, trapped?

I do.

I do. With all legal authority bound to me in the state of California, and my

internet certification, I pronounce you man and wife.

You may now kiss the bride. Good luck.