Original subtitles

MUSIC: On A Far Off Planet By Rene Aubry

FLUTTERING

BUZZING

EXCLAIMS

HUMMING

GRUNTING

BLOWS ON FLUTE

FLUTE SQUEAKS

SIGHS

BLOWS

BLOWS HARD

POP!

SHE LAUGHS

FLUTE PLAYS IN TUNE

NARRATOR: By a loobular lake,

on a far-off planet,

there lived a young Smed,

and her name was Janet.

SHE PLAYS MELODY

Huh? Ha-ha-ha! Weeeee!

CONTINUES PLAYING MELODY

DISCORDANT HORN BLOWS LOUDLY

Argh!

Hmm.

HORN BLOWS AGAIN

Not far away, on a humplety hill,

there lived a young Smoo

by the name of Bill.

THEY SLURP

Hmm.

HORN BLOWS

Ha!

Ha-ha!

Oh!

Huh! Mm.

Uff! Huh.

Aaaargh!

Oh!

SHE PLAYS MELODY

SPLASH!

THEY GROAN

Huh!

Hmph!

Janet, like all the Smeds, was red,

and this is what her grandfather said.

Never, never play with the... Smoos!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

They sleep in holes, they wear strange shoes.

He-he-he-he!

They jump about like... Kangaroos!

Never, never... BOTH: ..play with the Smoos.

Ahem!

THEY GASP

Bill, like the other Smoos, was blue,

and these were the words of Grandmother Smoo.

Never, never play with the Smeds.

They have strange hair upon their heads.

They sleep in funny things called beds.

ALL: Never, never play...

..with the Smeds.

Oh.

The Smeds, on their lake, liked nothing better

than splashing about, getting wetter and wetter.

Argh!

But Janet grew bored of this watery play.

WHISPERING: And that was the reason...

..she tiptoed away.

The Smoos jumped about on their humplety hill.

They bounced up and down it

and never stood still.

But Bill was beginning to think...

This is boring.

And that was the reason he set off exploring.

Ah.

Ah.

HE SNIFFS

FLUTE PLAYING IN DISTANCE

Oh.

MELODY CONTINUES

SHE STOPS PLAYING

BIRDS CAW

Oh.

Grrr.

SOFT GROWL

HE GROWLS BACK

Grrrr! Grrrr!

HONK!

CRACKLING

Eeee! Ah.

Janet met Bill in the Wurpular Wood,

where the trockles grew tall

and the glompoms smelled good.

CRACKLING

Oh!

SHE GIGGLES

CRACKLING

THEY LAUGH

The two rubbed antennae and played all day long.

I told you a story.

You sing me a song.

# Ba-ba-di, da-da-dai

# Ba-ba-di-da-da... #

SHE PLAYS ALONG

# Ba-ba-di, da-da

# Ba-ba-di-da-da Hey!

# Ba-ba-di, da-da

# Ba-ba-di-da-da... #

Then they climbed to the top of a jerberrycoot

and nibbled its juicy and jellyful fruit.

Whoa! He!

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! He-he-he-he-he!

Ah.

TWIGS SNAPPING

Till who should disturb them

but Grandfather Smed,

shaking his fist as he angrily said...

Never, never play with a Smoo.

Argh!

They're such a nasty shade of blue. Oh! Ow!

For the hundredth time I say to you,

never, never play with a Smoo.

SHE SIGHS

Grandmother Smoo was close behind,

and this is how she spoke her mind.

Ow! Never, never play with a Smed.

They're such a dreadful shade of red.

I'll say again what I've always said -

never, never play with a Smed.

Years went by on the far-off planet.

Janet missed Bill...

..and Bill missed Janet.

So, off they crept,

whenever they could,

to sing and play in the Wurpular Wood.

THEY PANT

MUSIC: Dream Of The Smeds And Dream Of The Smoos By Rene Aubry

VOCALISING

HONK!

Ah.

Mmm!

Oh!

MUMBLING

Huh!

Huh!

Hello, everyone.

We've decided to wed.

GASPING

But what do you think their grandparents said?

Never, never marry a Smoo!

They're a beastly bunch.

They're a crazy crew.

They drink black tea.

They eat green stew. Oh.

Never, never marry a Smoo.

Um...

Never, never marry a Smed.

My dearest child,

are you off your head?

They drink pink milk.

They eat brown bread.

SMASH!

Never, never marry a Smed.

Hmm.

HE SNIFFS

JANET SIGHS

THEY GROWL

SNORING

Janet and Bill stole out that night,

while their family slept

and the squoon shone bright.

They clambered up to the Smeds' red rocket.

Whoa!

Grandfather Smed has forgotten to lock it.

Bill pressed the button...

ENGINE REVS

..and Janet steered.

CLANG!

When their families woke...

HE GASPS

..they had both disappeared.

Argh!

The Smeds said...

Your Bill must have stolen our Janet.

And taken her off to a distant planet.

The Smoos said...

It's Janet who's stolen our Bill.

And lured him away from the humplety hill.

SMOO HORN BLOWS

Ha-ha!

The Smoos climbed into their rocket of blue.

Hmm... Mm-hm.

But what about us?

Hmm.

You had better come, too.

Ah.

Mm.

Uh, uh.

BLAST!

Aaaaargh!

HE GROWLS

Huh?

Aaaaargh! Uff!

Suspicious and scowling,

they soared into space...

..till they reached Planet Vumjum...

..a dry, dusty place.

DOOR CLANGS, STEAM HISSES

SHE COUGHS

Huh!

Ha-ha!

Huh! Oh!

THEY CHIRP AND GURGLE

The Vums had long arms, which they waved in the air...

THEY GURGLE

..but they didn't have news of the runaway pair.

THEY GASP

HE GURGLES CROSSLY Mm?

Aaaaargh!

Ah! Oh!

THEY GURGLE AND YELL

The next stop was Lurglestrop,

covered in roses...

Ah-ha-choo!

Oh.

Ooh! Oh!

SOFT GROWLING

..and watered by beasts with small eyes and long noses.

Ooo-ooh!

HE SIGHS

HE SNIFFS AND SIGHS

Ha-ha!

Ah-ha-haaaa...

..choo!

Hm. Oh.

They touched down on Grimbletosh...

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-oh.

..coated in grime.

Eeeeeugh!

They searched Planet Glurch

but found nothing but slime.

Uh.

SQUELCHING

Hmm.

HE SOBS

SQUELCHING

Huh? Huh? Aaaaaargh!

Argh! Aaaargh!

HONK! HONK!

THEY STRAIN

Ugh!

Phew!

CREAKING

Oh! Aaaargh!

IT YELPS

HE STRAINS

BLAST!

THEY GROAN

HE PLAYS MELANCHOLY TUNE

Ahem.

Ha. Um...

I'm sorry to tell you

we've run out of tea.

Oh.

Hey.

HE WHISPERS

Have some of our milk.

Oh! Ha-ha!

It's as pink as can be.

SLURP!

THEY GASP

Ahem.

SEAT BELT CLICKS

Ah!

Huh?

Then Grandfather Smed said...

My hair needs a trim.

And Grandmother Smoo

kindly cut it for him.

SNIP! SNIP!

They landed on Scloop,

where the Scloopies wore kilts.

They flew to Klaboo, where the Klabs walked on stilts.

THEY GRUNT AND STRAIN

QUACK! QUACK!

Oh. Oh.

Aaaaaargh! Aaaaargh! Oh!

We've searched all year long.

And we'll search longer still.

Huh!

THEY GASP AND LAUGH

LAUGHTER

THEY PANT

We didn't find Janet.

We didn't find Bill.

Alas...

..said the Smoos,

and the Smeds said... Alack!

We have failed in our quest.

We had better turn back.

So, they turned and flew home

to their very own planet.

Hm?

MELANCHOLY TUNE PLAYS

Huh?

HONK!

THEY GASP

And far down below them, they saw...

ALL: Bill and Janet!

Huh?

BRAKES SCREECH

Whoa!

The rocket touched down,

and they ran to the wood

where the trockles grew tall

and the glompoms smelled good.

And there, in a glade, by the rocket of red,

were the runaway Smoo

and the runaway Smed.

We got lost and flew home again,

only to find that all of you others

had left us behind.

Ah.

Oh. Argh!

THEY LAUGH

There was joy, jam and jumping.

Then Janet said...

Maybe you'd like to make friends

with our dear little baby.

OTHERS: A baby!

A red one? A blue one!

But no.

BABY GURGLES

That baby was purple

from head to toe.

Ah. Oh. Who's a bub-bub?

They all hugged the Smoo-Smed.

Our new baby brother!

SQUELCHING

OTHERS LAUGH

And Grandpa and Gran even hugged one another.

ANTENNAE CRACKLE

Oh-ha-ha-ha! Oh!

Oh. Ahem.

Ah.

They laughed and they splashed

and they danced with delight,

and they played with that baby from morning till night.

We've made him a rattle.

We've made him a flute.

Let's feed him the fruit of the jerberrycoot!

And they sang by the light of the silvery squoon.

And you can sing, too.

If you make up a tune.

Play with the Smeds. And play with the Smoos.

Play with whichever friends you choose.

Then close your eyes,

and while you snooze...

Dream of the Smeds.

And dream of the Smoos.

MUSIC: Dream Of The Smeds And Dream Of The Smoos By Rene Aubry