Original subtitles

Lately... Yor's been coming home late.

Neither of us dig deeply into the other's private life,

so I don't usually ask questions.

Papa, is it dinner time yet?

Once Yor gets home.

Bond, tell me what we're having for dinner tonight!

I'm home.

A gloomy, somber expression, and...

several cuts all over her hands.

Welcome home, Mama.

Why, thank you, Miss Anya.

Welcome home.

Should we start dinner?

Oh...

I'm not hungry, so you two can go ahead and eat.

All right...

Yor, are you...

Mama's going to cry? But why?

If I fail this, I...

I might lose those two.

Well, apparently I've discovered that

I can take these yawn-filled days

And turn them into movies

I've found the secret and trick to it

Under this sky where we don't get along

I closed my heart and locked it

That's how I've managed to live my life

And the melodies now overlap

I wanted a sign, no matter how small

That I could actually find better than any streetlight

I put a ribbon on each of the sights that my eyes pick out

And I collect them like souvenirs as I continue down this path home

The seasons each say hello, and I shed a few tears as I go

Where should I begin to talk about this way home that you've given me?

I walk and walk and sometimes rush on my way to see you

I run and run, wait, no, I should still walk on my way to see you

Great job today.

You, too.

Great job today.

Hey, Camilla. Do you wanna go out for some drinks?

Er...

Nah, I'm good.

Wait, didn't you say you had a date today?

He canceled on me at the last minute.

Thank you!

Are we really doing this again?

Also...

Are those tomatoes?!

They're clearly crushed! What's wrong with you?!

Hey, Yor. You're really serious about this.

Thank you for having me over.

This is all your fault, by the way! If you hadn't said what you did...

YOR'S KITCHEN

3 D A Y S A G O

What?

You want to learn how to cook?

Yes!

My husband was stuck in the bathroom for a whole day

because of the breakfast I made the other day!

Wow, that sucks.

At this rate, our marriage is in danger!

Meaning my work is in danger!

Would any of you kindly be able to teach me?

Uh...

Er... Our housekeeper makes our food.

Go to a class or something.

I know how to open cans!

Heya, what are you girls talking about?

Oh, hey! She's a great cook.

Hey!

P-Please, Camilla!

No! Why should I?

Oh, come on. Teach her.

Alrighty, let's meet up at her place.

Uh, hello?!

I look forward to learning even more from you today!

This is literally the worst.

Don't be like that.

Just so you know, you get to taste all the food again!

The responsibility's yours!

Oh, about that... I actually invited someone over just for that.

Yahoo! Hey, Sis!

Yuri!

I was told that I'd be able to eat your cooking.

Um...

So this is Yor's little brother?

He seemed different in the pictur—

Thank you for having me over, Camilla!

And thank you for always looking after my sister!

Uh-huh...

So are you having a party of some sort today?

What? A cooking class?

Don't tell Loid and Miss Anya. I want to secretly get better!

Curses! She wants to cook for Loidy!

Now I'm conflicted!

Today, I thought I'd try cooking minestrone.

Seriously, why do you keep buying things you don't need for this?

What are you even going to use this for?

I'm sorry. I thought using a variety of ingredients would make it better.

Okay, first, peel your potatoes.

Of course!

How does this happen when you're just peeling potatoes?!

There's a whole sea of blood!

Th-This weapon is just so hard to use!

The peeler is not a weapon!

Sis, I brought you some bandages!

Oh, but I am handy with a knife!

I keep telling you that you're cutting it too thin!

Just cut it normally!

You're amazing, Sis!

Hello?! Why'd you cut through the cutting board, too?!

That was one of my favorites!

I'm so sorry! I'll pay for it!

You're amazing, Sis!

Seriously, what is wrong with you?!

How did you ever get married?!

Leave!

Who is this woman?

She's being rude to my sister. Maybe I'll execute her.

Yeah, Yor, you're hopeless. Just give it up.

You might as well divorce that hottie.

Oh, no!

Hey, that's a great idea.

Yes, divorce him, Sis.

Please, Camilla!

If Loid divorces me, I'll... I'll...

I'll have to worry about getting arrested again!

Hurry up and get your ingredients simmering.

I'll show you how to season everything as we go along.

Hurry up and make the thing so you can go home already.

She's actually pretty nice. Just... a bit prickly.

Camilla has always been a good person.

Hey!

Well, in any case... my first dish is complete.

Hey, Yuri! You're up!

Make sure it's not pois— I mean, that it's delicious!

Really? I can?

Down the hatch!

Aah...

It's so good!

This is really great, Sis!

Oh, this takes me back! It tastes just like your old cooking!

Oh, my.

Uh... You're throwing up, though. So which is it?

How could you possibly end up with that?

Did you listen to a word I said?

I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

Sis, is there any more?

You weren't ready for minestrone yet.

Let's try something easier, like meatballs.

Okay!

Yum, yum, yum!

It's so good that I'm sweating for unknown reasons!

The more I savor each bite, the more I see my life flash before my eyes!

Huh? Is that you over there, Mom?

Yuri, stop! You need to stop for a sec!

That's right. Yor and her brother grew up without their parents.

I guess your sense of taste got so messed up because

this train wreck was the only one eating your food.

Train wreck?!

Shock.

I figured it'd be fine as long as he was getting all the right nutrients.

Yuri... Thank goodness you grew up healthy.

Do you happen to remember

anything your parents made for you that was really good?

Just curious.

Hmm... Do you remember anything, Yuri?

Mom's cooking?

Hmm... I only remember it vaguely,

but didn't she make something like stew often?

That was really warm and yummy.

Oh! The one that had the fried egg on top!

Okay, let's try making that.

Try really hard to remember the taste.

It probably uses a simple southern stew base.

Whoa!

Once it comes to a boil, turn off the heat.

I'm pretty sure it should have paprika powder in it.

Right!

Make sure it doesn't burn.

And use the right amount of salt and pepper.

Understood!

You know, Yor, you seem different now.

You seemed more robotic and boring before.

Huh? Wha? Really?

P-Perhaps it's because I got married.

Huh?

What're you humble bragging for?

You just changed your makeup a little or something.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

Come on, now. You're a fine, lovely lady yourself, Camilla.

You should be more confident.

Hey!

Anyway, this is the first time something's actually smelled good!

I think this one might actually be a success!

Hey, it's not bad.

It's really good!

But it also feels like something's missing.

Where are you from, Yor?

Eastern Nielsberg.

I think people in that region might add sour cream to it.

I'm exhausted.

What?

Oh, I was just admiring how cute you are.

Shut up.

Wait.

Okay!

Looks like he's naturally intelligent.

I'll start defense training with him immediately.

Papa, Anya can't wait any longer. Too hungry.

It is pretty late.

I'm sorry I'm so late.

Welcome home, Yor.

Hm? What's that?

Loid...

Tonight, I'll make dinner!

Shock!

You were learning how to cook?

I'm sorry I kept it a secret.

So that's why...

This is southern stew?

Yes. My mother often made it for us.

It's finished! The fried egg isn't quite a fried egg, but...

Please enjoy!

It smells like... it's safe.

My last supper...

It's delicious!

It's yummy!

Anya likes this.

It has quite a soothing taste.

Huh? What's wrong, Yor?

I'm sorry. I just saw your faces, and I think...

I was just so relieved.

I thought I needed to protect this life so that I could continue killing.

But to think that having them acknowledge me...

having them smile...

would simply...

make me this happy.

I feel a little more confident now...

as the wife and mother of the Forger family!

I'll continue to count on you from now on.

Oh, right! I actually made one more dish, if you'd like to try it!

This is an original dish that I came up with.

I'll eat some!

Why'd you call me out here?

I fell in love with a girl.

I see. Good for you.

See ya.

Hold on! Hear me out, damn it!

THE INFORMANT'S GREAT ROMANCE PLAN

What? Tell you how to have a successful date?

Well, you're a pro at this stuff, aren't you?

The secret is hard work. Bye.

Wait, you insensitive jerk!

Don't make me sell your info to the secret police!

No, no! I was just kidding!

Hey, I know! You said you wanted me to make you a new small recording device, didn't you?

I'll do that for you for free if you'll throw me a bone here!

Okay?

Her name is Monica McBride.

She works at a cigar club on Fifth Street.

She's 25 years old, and her birthday is September 20th.

Her blood type is O.

She's 162 centimeters tall, and she weighs 46 kilograms.

She currently lives with her mother and younger sister.

Her hobby is watching movies, and her favorite movie is Ber-Ber-Berlint.

Her childhood nickname is Moppea, and—

You're a stalker.

Don't judge me! You find out every last detail about people, too!

I do that for work.

You dumbass!

When you're really in love,

finding out everything you can about the other person is what makes you a man!

Well, if you've found out this much about her,

I'm sure you can figure the rest out, too.

You dumbass!

They are whispering

You intelligence people have separate departments for data gathering,

assessing, and analyzing data!

I'm an expert at gathering!

Is it worth bragging about?

Please! I'm serious about this!

I don't even get cigars, but I'm smoking them every day just so I can see her!

Please show this pitiful scruff some mercy!

So I just need to analyze your potential date and come up with a plan, right?

Thank you so much, Lord Twilight!

You're my president!

Just shut up and wait a second.

Okay, done.

I created a conversational flow chart based on what kind of person she is.

First, you're going to ask her question one.

For example, about her favorite food. Yes.

Favorite Food

From there, I wrote down her most probable answers, A, B, C, and D.

A. Strawberries

B. Nukazuke

C. Tapioca

D. Pizza

Favorite Food

Then I added the best response you can give to each choice,

Cute

Cool

Don't see that nowadays

Goes great with beer

Favorite Food

A. Strawberries

B. Nukazuke

C. Tapioca

D. Pizza

and then I added her possible responses—again, as A, B, C, and D—along with your next response.

A. Thanks B. You think so? C. That's great D. What about you? A. You think so? B. It's so good C. Cool... D. What about you? A. Right? B. That's mean C. That's true D. What about you? A. I get you B. I don't drink beer C. Nah, not really D. What about you?

Cute Cool Don't see that nowadays Goes great with beer

Seriously cute Yes, you are cute Glad to hear it I like it, too Cute, though Right? It's awesome I like it, too I want some, though Just kidding We agree on a lot I like it, too Beer's so good You should try it Just kidding I like it, too

How am I supposed to do that, you dumbass?!

That's tens of thousands of possibilities!

What the hell is "appropriate," anyway?!

I need an actual idiot-proof scenario!

If something like that existed, it wouldn't be difficult to be in intelligence.

Hmm...

I guess I could disguise myself and give you instructions from behind—

I don't want you to hear our conversation!

Then you're just going to have to practice having conversations.

Really? With you? Gross.

No, I'm just kidding! Please help me!

He put on a disguise anyway

Okay, I think I might have a chance.

Tomorrow, I shall use the strategic art of conversation

in my attempt to make Monica fall for me!

Stand by to hear the report later.

I don't need to hear the report.

He looks like he's knocking on death's door. Is he gonna be able to handle this?

Welcome.

Ah, you came by again, Franky.

I-I-I look forward to, uh, um—

An ooting! An ooting!

Anya wants to go to an obstacle course today.

That sounds like fun.

Scruffy Head!

The Forgers.

Anya's going to an obstacle course!

Oh, that sounds like fun.

Hey, didn't you...

Oh, my date?

I managed to ask her out just fine,

but she went home because she forgot to turn off her gas.

She said she'd go to a movie with me another day.

Not bad, right?

Man, now I've got all this free time, so I guess I'll go get a drink.

What's your problem?!

Damn it! Why do they only ever care about your looks?!

She could've at least gone on one date with me!

She didn't have to turn me down so hard!

Sir...

Shut up! What the hell's your problem?

Come on! Get me another beer! The cheapest one you've got!

And I said I'd make that thing for free now.

I'm broke and have no girlfriend.

Here's a Macallan 18-year on the rocks, sir.

I didn't ask for this expensive-ass drink!

I just said I was broke.

It's from that customer over there.

Huh?

H-Hey, what a coincidence.

I felt like drinking, too.

Twi—Loid...

Hey... What happened to the obstacle course?

Yor's taking care of it.

What the hell? You here to laugh at me?

You always say so yourself...

People like us can't become emotionally attached to others.

Even if you did go out with her, it probably wouldn't work out.

Says the guy with a wife and kid.

They're just a part of my mission.

Damn it!

I'm gonna get drunk on your dime today!

I'll keep you company.

CARRY OUT THE GRIFFIN PLAN FULLMETAL LADY OMELET RICE♥