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1
00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:35,300
Aghghghgh.
2
00:00:36,410 --> 00:00:38,495
Aghghghgh.
3
00:00:38,530 --> 00:00:42,800
Well there's no doubt about it
Those tonsils need to come out.
4
00:00:42,835 --> 00:00:43,535
What?
5
00:00:43,570 --> 00:00:46,000
Oh,what exactly does that entail,doctor?
6
00:00:46,035 --> 00:00:47,555
It's a very simple operation.
7
00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:51,140
We'll just put you to sleep,eric,and
when you wake up you'll be tonsil-free!
8
00:00:51,175 --> 00:00:52,405
No way.
9
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,705
I'm not going to the hospital,mom!
10
00:00:54,740 --> 00:00:56,935
Oh,I thought you were a tough kid.
11
00:00:56,970 --> 00:00:59,730
You're not scared of hospitals,are you?
12
00:00:59,765 --> 00:01:01,595
No,I'm not scared.
13
00:01:01,630 --> 00:01:04,505
I just,I don't want my
tonsils out,that's all.
14
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:09,800
Well,then I guess you don't want all the
ice cream you get after the surgery either.
15
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:11,515
Ice cream?
16
00:01:11,550 --> 00:01:17,330
Be a shame to have to give all that free ice cream
to the big boys who aren't scared of the hospitals.
17
00:01:17,365 --> 00:01:20,130
What do you say,champ?Think
you can tough it out?
18
00:01:20,730 --> 00:01:24,380
Well,you did say free ice cream?
19
00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,080
Poopsiekins,wake up.
20
00:01:34,115 --> 00:01:36,120
Wake up,honey.
21
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,005
It's,it's over?
22
00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,480
That's right!You did it,poopsiekins!
23
00:01:41,515 --> 00:01:42,795
It's over!
24
00:01:42,830 --> 00:01:44,130
I don't feel anything.
25
00:01:44,165 --> 00:01:45,395
You were right,mom!
26
00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:47,485
I'm so proud of you,eric.
27
00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:49,720
All right. So where's my ice cream?
28
00:01:49,755 --> 00:01:51,720
Oh,here's the doctor now.
29
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:53,085
Hi,doctor.
30
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:55,250
You were right,doctor.
31
00:01:55,285 --> 00:01:57,380
Everything is okay.
32
00:01:57,415 --> 00:01:58,865
No,it's not.
33
00:01:58,900 --> 00:02:03,770
Eric,i'm afraid that we've accidentally
infected you with the aids virus.
34
00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,085
- What?
- What's that supposed to mean?
35
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,640
During the tonsil surgery we had
to supply you with donor blood,
36
00:02:11,675 --> 00:02:15,160
a mistake was made and you were
given blood contaminated with hiv.
37
00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:18,300
It was a one in a billion fluke.
38
00:02:18,335 --> 00:02:19,805
I have aids?
39
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,270
Not yet,but we've confirmed that you
now have the virus that causes aids.
40
00:02:24,305 --> 00:02:26,600
We are very sorry.
41
00:02:26,635 --> 00:02:27,805
Sorry?
42
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,590
You gave me aids and you're sorry?
43
00:02:29,625 --> 00:02:31,875
Oh,my poor little baby!
44
00:02:31,910 --> 00:02:33,320
Mom,you said nothing would go wrong!
45
00:02:33,355 --> 00:02:34,787
Oh,god!
46
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,185
Oh,no!
47
00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:37,965
No,no,this is a joke,right?
48
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,035
This is a joke!I can't have aids!
49
00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:43,660
We are going to do everything in our
power to make this up to you,eric.
50
00:02:43,695 --> 00:02:46,860
For starters,I think I
owe you some ice cream!
51
00:02:50,090 --> 00:02:50,895
Your ice cream!
52
00:02:50,930 --> 00:02:52,625
You said I'd be fine!
53
00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:54,320
You all said I'd be fine!
54
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,980
My baby has hiv!
55
00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:03,690
No!
56
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,850
Thank you for coming,everyone.
57
00:03:08,885 --> 00:03:10,820
Boys,please take a seat.
58
00:03:12,390 --> 00:03:14,210
What's going on?Are we in trouble?
59
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:20,970
Boys,the reason we called you all in is because
one of your friends has a serious illness.
60
00:03:21,005 --> 00:03:25,090
Eric cartman has been
diagnosed with hiV.
61
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:27,835
What?
62
00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:28,755
Oh,no.
63
00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:31,955
He's been to several specialists
since a botched blood transfusion.
64
00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:35,120
The disease is in very early
stages and completely manageable,
65
00:03:35,155 --> 00:03:37,370
but he's naturally,a bit scared.
66
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,175
Cartman has hiv?
67
00:03:40,210 --> 00:03:43,860
We need everyone to understand that
you can't get the virus from eric.
68
00:03:43,895 --> 00:03:46,140
You can still give him
hugs and even kisses.
69
00:03:46,175 --> 00:03:47,130
Don't be afraid of him. Just -
70
00:03:47,165 --> 00:03:48,555
Excuse me.
71
00:03:48,590 --> 00:03:51,460
Eric cartman has hiv.
72
00:03:52,170 --> 00:03:54,355
All right,we're going
to bring eric in now.
73
00:03:54,390 --> 00:03:59,860
And let's all be as supportive as we
can and show him lots of love,okay?
74
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:01,985
Eric?Come on in.
75
00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:05,000
Your friends all want to say hi,m'kay?
76
00:04:06,410 --> 00:04:08,670
- Hi,eric.
- Hey,there,eric.
77
00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:11,565
No way.
78
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,085
How you doing,eric?
79
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,335
You know,I think you're
a real special little guy.
80
00:04:16,370 --> 00:04:20,460
And even though you have aids,i ain't
gonna act any different towards you.
81
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,980
God dammit,this sucks ass!
82
00:04:26,660 --> 00:04:27,605
Excuse me.
83
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,020
I,I have to step out for a minute.
84
00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:42,905
Poor ol' kyle.
85
00:04:42,940 --> 00:04:44,720
He's really taking it hard.
86
00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:46,675
Is kyle laughing out there?
87
00:04:46,710 --> 00:04:49,110
This isn't time for funny
jokes!I'm going to die.
88
00:04:49,145 --> 00:04:51,015
Now,you're not going to die,eric.
89
00:04:51,050 --> 00:04:53,180
Aids isn't as big a
deal as it used to be.
90
00:04:53,215 --> 00:04:54,440
There are advances in treatment.
91
00:04:54,475 --> 00:04:55,605
Not a big deal?
92
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,945
Is that how everyone feels?
93
00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:59,530
People need to understand the
seriousness of this illness
94
00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:02,080
and the bravery of the
people who struggle with it!
95
00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:13,110
We are here tonight to salute the bravery and the courage
of one very special little boy who is living with hiv
96
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:16,670
Where the hell is everybody?
97
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:21,130
Excuse me. Shouldn't we wait for
everyone to arrive before we get started?
98
00:05:21,165 --> 00:05:22,705
This is everyone.
99
00:05:22,740 --> 00:05:24,740
We didn't sell that many tickets.
100
00:05:24,775 --> 00:05:25,985
Great benefit,eric.
101
00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:29,090
The italian meatballs are fantastic.
102
00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,175
So this is it?
103
00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:33,530
I'm afraid aids benefits aren't
as popular as they used to be.
104
00:05:33,565 --> 00:05:35,710
Aids was more the '80s/'90s disease.
105
00:05:35,745 --> 00:05:37,347
It's all about cancer now.
106
00:05:37,382 --> 00:05:38,915
Well,that's just great!
107
00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:42,460
Of all the times to get aids,I get it
right when everyone stops giving a crap!
108
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:47,795
With all of your help,we have
raised over $17 for aids tonight,
109
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:51,770
and that money will certainly go
towards helping little eric martman.
110
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,190
Just bring out elton john already!
111
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:56,555
Uh,we're sorry.
112
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:57,785
Elton couldn't make it.
113
00:05:57,820 --> 00:05:59,975
He had to play at a cancer benefit.
114
00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:02,130
It's all right. We got somebody better.
115
00:06:02,165 --> 00:06:03,890
Jimmy buffet!
116
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,530
Jimmy buffet?
117
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:06,825
Hello,everyone.
118
00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:10,110
I wrote this song for
a very brave little boy.
119
00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:17,255
Aids burger in paradise
aids burger and it ain't nice
120
00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:21,340
Nobody likes jimmy buffet except for frat
boys and alcoholic chicks from the south!
121
00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:23,760
Little boy in south park
122
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:26,545
dying of aids in the cold dark
123
00:06:26,580 --> 00:06:31,525
how he got aids I haven't
a clue wasting away again
124
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:36,470
because of aids how're
we all feeling tonight?
125
00:06:36,505 --> 00:06:37,780
You,jimmy buffet!
126
00:06:37,815 --> 00:06:39,115
You Suck!
127
00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:41,310
Oh,poopsiekins,be nice.
128
00:06:41,345 --> 00:06:43,470
You,mom. I have Aids!
129
00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:51,930
Hey,guys,thanks a lot for coming
to my aids benefit yesterday.
130
00:06:53,260 --> 00:06:55,700
Oh,dude,was that yesterday?We forgot.
131
00:06:55,735 --> 00:06:56,785
Yeah,you forgot.
132
00:06:56,820 --> 00:07:00,140
Just like a lot of people lately have
forgot that aids is still killing people.
133
00:07:00,175 --> 00:07:04,190
Seems like all of america has
forgot that hiv is a serious disease.
134
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:07,240
Well,did elton john sing a song for you?
135
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,540
No,as a matter of fact
jimmy buffet came instead.
136
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,035
Oh,yeah.
137
00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:14,970
It's real Funny,kyle!
138
00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:18,105
I'm sorry.
139
00:07:18,140 --> 00:07:19,555
I'm
- really!
140
00:07:19,590 --> 00:07:21,340
Cartman,I feel really bad for you.
141
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:22,105
Honestly.
142
00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:23,735
- No,you don'T.
- I do.
143
00:07:23,770 --> 00:07:26,720
If you really felt bad,you'd
wipe that Smirk off your face!
144
00:07:27,590 --> 00:07:29,710
Well,any god dammed second,kyle!
145
00:07:30,010 --> 00:07:31,730
I'm sorry. I gotta get home.
146
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,410
Jesus christ,can you
believe that asshole?
147
00:07:37,445 --> 00:07:38,740
He does feel bad for you,cartman.
148
00:07:38,775 --> 00:07:39,980
He just thinks it'S...
149
00:07:40,015 --> 00:07:40,932
ironic.
150
00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:41,815
Ironic how?
151
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:43,950
Well,you know you're always
such a dick and stuff and now -
152
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:45,127
Oh,and what,I deserve it?
153
00:07:45,162 --> 00:07:46,270
Is that what you think?
154
00:07:46,305 --> 00:07:47,085
Not me!
155
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:48,765
That's kind of what he thinks.
156
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,410
Nobody deserves this illness,stan!
157
00:07:50,445 --> 00:07:51,227
Kenny!
158
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,136
Nobody!
159
00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:52,975
It's awful!
160
00:07:53,010 --> 00:07:56,850
And maybe somebody needs to teach
kyle how to have some compassion.
161
00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:09,095
Ugh,okay.
162
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:10,340
It's clear.
163
00:08:11,220 --> 00:08:13,500
All right. Get that
rope ready to hoist me.
164
00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:15,965
All right,but what are you going to do?
165
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,240
Kyle thinks that hiv is funny,so
we're going to make him look funny
166
00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:21,845
and then he'll know how
it feels to be laughed at.
167
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:25,760
I just,I don't know that I should
be helping you make kyle look silly.
168
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,090
Butters,helping people who have aids is
one of the most important things you can do.
169
00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:33,990
I know,but are you sure kyle
has to be taught a lesson?
170
00:08:34,025 --> 00:08:35,780
I'm not just sure,butters.
171
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,830
I'm hiv positive.
172
00:08:38,110 --> 00:08:40,400
Oh,yeah. I guess that's true.
173
00:08:40,740 --> 00:08:42,810
All right. Now get the rope up over
that third rafter above the window.
174
00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:44,045
That's the easiest access.
175
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:45,805
Wow!You really know what you're doing.
176
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,660
Yeah,I sneak into kyle's
room lots of times.
177
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:05,480
You think hiv is something
to be laughed at,kyle?
178
00:09:05,515 --> 00:09:09,640
Well,let's just see how
funny it is now,asshole.
179
00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:15,070
Ugh
- what?
180
00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:19,610
Ugh.
181
00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:29,030
There,there,boobie. You'll be okay.
182
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:32,010
Oh,doctor,did you find
anything?Is it strep?
183
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:35,465
No,it isn't strep.
184
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,390
Oh,well,that's a relief.
185
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:42,000
Mrs. Broflovski,has your son
ever had a blood transfusion?
186
00:09:42,035 --> 00:09:43,735
No,why?
187
00:09:43,770 --> 00:09:47,600
Little boy,have you been
having unprotected anal sex?
188
00:09:47,635 --> 00:09:48,905
What?No!
189
00:09:48,940 --> 00:09:50,910
Doctor,what are you saying?
190
00:09:51,210 --> 00:09:53,605
We've run every test imaginable.
191
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,840
Little kyle here is infected with hiv
192
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,395
- What?
- Hiv?
193
00:09:59,430 --> 00:10:02,280
It took us a long time to narrow
it down,but there is no doubt.
194
00:10:02,315 --> 00:10:03,805
No!That's impossible!
195
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:07,420
Little boy,are you sure you haven't taken
it up the hoo-hoo just once or twice?
196
00:10:07,460 --> 00:10:09,580
No!No,god dammit!No!
197
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:10,435
I'm telling you you're wrong!
198
00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:13,390
There is no way I can
have hiv,unless maybe...
199
00:10:13,900 --> 00:10:15,045
oh,my god.
200
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,410
That son of a bitch!
201
00:10:18,170 --> 00:10:19,910
Kyle?Kyle!
202
00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:23,270
Pass me the ball.
203
00:10:23,930 --> 00:10:26,140
Pass me the ball,craig,you
stupid asshole!
204
00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:27,740
Ugugh!
205
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:30,835
Kyle,what the -
206
00:10:30,870 --> 00:10:32,130
I'm gonna kill you,cartman!
207
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:33,282
Kyle,what?
208
00:10:33,317 --> 00:10:34,365
What'd he do?
209
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,650
What do I have hiv?
210
00:10:36,685 --> 00:10:38,315
Ooooh.
211
00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:40,615
Ooohhhh,you have hiv,huh,kyle?
212
00:10:40,650 --> 00:10:42,310
Guess it isn't so to funny now,is it?
213
00:10:42,345 --> 00:10:43,925
- What did you do?
- Nothinoo
214
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:47,260
Then why did butters say he helped you
sneak into my room last friday night?
215
00:10:47,295 --> 00:10:49,300
Oh,nice,butters,you big tattle tail!
216
00:10:49,335 --> 00:10:50,395
Tattle tail?
217
00:10:50,430 --> 00:10:52,085
Do you know how serious this is?
218
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,420
Well,kyle,maybe I was just trying to prove a point that you shouldn't be so
- Ahgghghghe b Ahghghghgh!
219
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,660
Kyle!
220
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,730
Hey,hey,that's enough.
221
00:11:01,765 --> 00:11:03,400
Break it up,m'kay?
222
00:11:03,435 --> 00:11:04,500
Break it up!
223
00:11:04,535 --> 00:11:05,640
Mp[ Ay.
224
00:11:10,660 --> 00:11:11,525
All right,boys.
225
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:14,110
Now what is this fighting all about?
226
00:11:14,145 --> 00:11:16,420
He gave me aids!
227
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:17,665
What?
228
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:20,365
He purposely infected
me with his hiv virus!
229
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:23,030
Is that true,eric?Did
you give kyle aids?
230
00:11:23,065 --> 00:11:24,455
Well,he was being a total dick
231
00:11:24,490 --> 00:11:26,710
and then he's a big tattle tail and
going around talking crap about me -
232
00:11:26,745 --> 00:11:31,050
Did you infect kyle with
the hivbouirus?Yes or no?
233
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:33,915
Kind oF.
234
00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:36,685
Eric,that is not
appropriate behavior,mp[ Ay?
235
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,830
You cannot purposely infect
other kids with your disease.
236
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:40,755
That's right.
237
00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:43,640
I think you owe kyle an apology.
238
00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:44,895
I'm sorry.
239
00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:46,045
An apology?
240
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,145
You're sortail for what,eri!
241
00:11:48,180 --> 00:11:50,630
W I'm sorry for giving you aids,kyle.
242
00:11:50,665 --> 00:11:51,645
That's better.
243
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:56,040
And now,kyle,maybe you shou this also
admit you were wrong for tattling.
244
00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:57,855
What?
245
00:11:57,890 --> 00:12:01,090
Kyle,the thing about tattling
is that tattling's bad.
246
00:12:01,125 --> 00:12:03,827
Because nobody likes
a tattle tail,mp[ Ay.
247
00:12:03,862 --> 00:12:06,530
A tattle taifri he
infected me with aids!
248
00:12:06,565 --> 00:12:07,765
See?He's tattling again.
249
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,180
He hasn't learned a thing,you guys.
250
00:12:12,990 --> 00:12:14,455
Well,kyle,I guess we're even noW.
251
00:12:14,490 --> 00:12:15,920
Should we just call it a truce?
252
00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:19,500
Kyle,should we call
it even-stevens now?
253
00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:22,320
Kyle,where are you going?
254
00:12:24,070 --> 00:12:28,010
I am going to break
everything that you own.
255
00:12:29,260 --> 00:12:33,110
What is that supposed to kyle,no!
256
00:12:33,145 --> 00:12:35,610
I apologized,kyle!
257
00:12:37,010 --> 00:12:37,915
Kyle!
258
00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:39,690
Kyle,hold on,you asshole.
259
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,560
What the Are you doing?
260
00:12:48,970 --> 00:12:50,330
Kyle,stop it!
261
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:53,510
god dammit don't
262
00:12:55,490 --> 00:12:57,050
no Kyle, not the fred frog
263
00:12:57,085 --> 00:12:58,450
leave fred frog alone
264
00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:00,320
no
265
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,405
ah Fred Frog
266
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,845
nono not the X-box
267
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,100
not that x-box, wait,
just wait a second
268
00:13:07,540 --> 00:13:09,805
I'm sorry I gave you HIV alright?
269
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,350
Just give me a chance
and I can cure you.
270
00:13:12,385 --> 00:13:14,190
There is no cure,you asshole!
271
00:13:14,225 --> 00:13:15,442
No!No,listen,kyle.
272
00:13:15,477 --> 00:13:16,658
I'm onto something.
273
00:13:16,693 --> 00:13:17,840
There really is a hope.
274
00:13:17,875 --> 00:13:19,245
What hope?
275
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,490
Break my xbox and you'll never know.
276
00:13:21,525 --> 00:13:22,675
You're lying.
277
00:13:22,710 --> 00:13:25,090
No!All right,kyle,magic johnson,kyle!
278
00:13:25,125 --> 00:13:26,700
The key is magic johnson!
279
00:13:26,735 --> 00:13:27,845
Magic johnson?
280
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:29,330
He was a basketball player.
281
00:13:29,365 --> 00:13:30,285
So what?
282
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,550
So he got hiv like 50 years ago.
283
00:13:32,585 --> 00:13:34,690
He's still totally fine.
284
00:13:34,990 --> 00:13:37,290
Magic johnson has some kind of
resistance to the virus,kyle.
285
00:13:37,325 --> 00:13:39,335
I've been researching
it since i got infected.
286
00:13:39,370 --> 00:13:42,280
If we can track him down and
isolate his genetic prototype,
287
00:13:42,315 --> 00:13:44,440
we have a chance of
beating this thing,buddy.
288
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:45,495
You and me,kyle.
289
00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:48,010
We can overcome our
illness. I swear it to you!
290
00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:50,905
You better.
291
00:13:50,940 --> 00:13:55,030
Because if you don't the cure
for hiv,I will break your xbox.
292
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,700
My god.
293
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,440
We need two tickets to los
angeles,as soon as possible!
294
00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:09,240
Los angeles,okay. Uh,I
have a 2:00 flight.
295
00:14:09,275 --> 00:14:12,405
That would be $400 each.
296
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:14,015
Uh,sir,you don't understand.
297
00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:16,190
We have to see magic johnson right away.
298
00:14:16,225 --> 00:14:19,370
You see we have aids.
299
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,715
Aids?
300
00:14:21,750 --> 00:14:25,400
Wow!That's really retro.
301
00:14:26,390 --> 00:14:27,265
But i'm sorry.
302
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,680
I can't just give away free seats.
303
00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:30,945
Don't you get it?
304
00:14:30,980 --> 00:14:35,310
We are two pals,afflicted with an illness and
who only have each other in a race against time!
305
00:14:35,345 --> 00:14:38,840
Innocent,playful children who were stricken
with a deadly disease for no reason.
306
00:14:38,875 --> 00:14:40,792
Oh,please!No reason!
307
00:14:40,827 --> 00:14:42,710
I got aids from him!
308
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,140
Oooh,you boys are like that,huh?
309
00:14:46,610 --> 00:14:47,655
No!
310
00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:50,630
Are you sure you don't
just have any cash?
311
00:14:50,665 --> 00:14:53,570
We're not just sure,we're hiv positive.
312
00:14:53,950 --> 00:14:59,550
Uh,we sometimes offer free seats to cancer patients,but aids,I just
- hey,mitch?
313
00:14:59,585 --> 00:15:02,450
Do we have any aids patient policies?
314
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:03,515
Forget it,all right!
315
00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:06,130
We'll use another
airline! One that cares!
316
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:11,185
We're so happy to help
accommodate you brave boys.
317
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:14,010
What kind of cancer did
you say you have again?
318
00:15:14,045 --> 00:15:16,230
Oh,uh,you know,all-over cancer.
319
00:15:16,265 --> 00:15:17,735
I'm so sorry.
320
00:15:17,770 --> 00:15:20,410
Yeah,well,at least it's
not as bad as having aids!
321
00:15:20,445 --> 00:15:22,015
Aids is the worst disease.
322
00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:25,770
Hmm,I don't know,these days I think
I'd rather have aids than cancer.
323
00:15:25,805 --> 00:15:26,725
No,you would -
324
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,540
look,shouldn't you be serving people
drinks or something?Get outta here!
325
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:32,455
We're on our way,buddy.
326
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:34,070
Magic johnson,here we come!
327
00:15:34,105 --> 00:15:36,510
Don't touch me.
328
00:15:37,290 --> 00:15:39,500
I know. I'm scared too.
329
00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:48,580
Magic,magic,could you come
to the front for a minute?
330
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,805
There are a couple of
boys here to see you.
331
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:56,220
Two,brave little buddies who against all odds have
journeyed across america to find the cure for aids.
332
00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:59,030
All they have is each other
in a race against time.
333
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,255
Thank you for seeing us,mr. Johnson.
334
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:08,710
We were just hoping that maybe you have some
kind of key that could help us with our disease.
335
00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:12,070
You boys both have
the virus?Are you sure?
336
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,840
We're not just sure,we're hiv positive.
337
00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,900
Will you stop it with that?
338
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,080
What part of this is funny to you?
339
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:21,845
Kyle,we need to try to find -
340
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,240
What part of being infected with
a deadly disease do you find funny?
341
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:27,735
I don't think it's funny,kyle.
342
00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:31,220
Then stop saying you're not
just sure,you're hiv positive!
343
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:33,775
This isn't funny.
344
00:16:33,810 --> 00:16:34,715
Aids isn't funny.
345
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:37,100
Dying isn't funny,so shut the Up.
346
00:16:38,340 --> 00:16:40,785
Well,excuse me,kyle,for
trying to keep some optimism.
347
00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:46,100
You know,sometimes when things seem their
darkest,you just need to try and stay... hiv positive.
348
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,810
But if you want to be so
hiv negative all the time -
349
00:16:47,845 --> 00:16:50,080
Knock it off!Right now!
350
00:16:50,870 --> 00:16:52,840
This isn't funny!
351
00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:54,640
At all!
352
00:16:55,270 --> 00:16:56,870
- Are you sure?
- Yes!
353
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,250
Are you hiv positive
- ow!
354
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:00,565
Oh... Kyle!
355
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,600
Boys,the truth is I don't know why
my body is so resistant to the virus.
356
00:17:04,635 --> 00:17:07,740
I would love to know so I could
help others,but I just don'T.
357
00:17:07,775 --> 00:17:09,005
Well,I've been thinking.
358
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:13,030
There's something you've come into
contact with that hinders hiv from growing.
359
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:15,250
Do you mind if we just look around?
360
00:17:15,510 --> 00:17:17,245
Well,not at all.
361
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,270
The pool is over there,where I
try to swim and stay in shape.
362
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:22,745
My kitchen is full of very healthy food.
363
00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:26,790
I don't know which thing is what keeps
my t-cell count high,so i try it all.
364
00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:28,215
But everyone tries that.
365
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:31,010
There has to be something you're
exposed to that others aren'T.
366
00:17:31,045 --> 00:17:32,350
Could we see where you sleep?
367
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,470
Sure.
368
00:17:34,410 --> 00:17:36,600
Just a pretty plain
old ordinary bedroom.
369
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,135
Dude.
370
00:17:41,170 --> 00:17:43,265
Oh. Yeah,I don't trust banks.
371
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:45,360
I sleep with all my money.
372
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:48,345
You sleep with money every night?
373
00:17:48,380 --> 00:17:50,710
Yeah. I like to keep it close.
374
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,550
You don't think that -
375
00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:00,875
It's incredible.
376
00:18:00,910 --> 00:18:02,910
Mitch,these boys could
be on to something.
377
00:18:02,945 --> 00:18:04,905
Take a look.
378
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,175
That's a sample of hiv infected blood.
379
00:18:07,210 --> 00:18:10,365
You can clearly see the hiv
attacking the white blood cells,right?
380
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,520
All right. Now watch what happens
when we introduce some cash.
381
00:18:14,210 --> 00:18:15,215
My god!
382
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,580
The hiv particles are receding!
383
00:18:19,650 --> 00:18:23,150
The cash does seem to restrain
the hiv cells from stabilizing.
384
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,555
Now hold on.
385
00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:28,390
All the cash is doing is destrablizing
the virus,not destroying it.
386
00:18:28,425 --> 00:18:29,375
Well,look.
387
00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:33,185
If being around lots of cash
negatively affects the hiv,then maybe -
388
00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:37,770
Then maybe enough cash,shot directly into the
bloodstream could kill the virus altogether.
389
00:18:37,805 --> 00:18:39,330
I have enough cash for all three of us.
390
00:18:39,365 --> 00:18:40,837
We should give it a try!
391
00:18:40,872 --> 00:18:42,275
No,no. This is ridiculous.
392
00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:44,510
We need fda approvals,control studies!
393
00:18:44,545 --> 00:18:46,675
I'm sorry,but this is impossible.
394
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:50,405
These boys have shown us that a
lot of impossible things can happen.
395
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:54,680
Their friendship has conquered every
obstacle in their illness-ridden lives!
396
00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:58,990
Their incredible friendship has
brought a sparkle of hope to our world.
397
00:18:59,025 --> 00:19:01,120
That's for sure.
398
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:06,330
I suppose we could try to distill
magic's cash down to its most highly
399
00:19:06,365 --> 00:19:09,660
concentrated level and
try it on one of them.
400
00:19:09,695 --> 00:19:10,905
But it's very risky.
401
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:13,790
Yeah,well,if there's a chance
of being cured of this illness,
402
00:19:13,825 --> 00:19:16,230
then kyle is willing to take that risk.
403
00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:48,240
Let's hope to christ this works.
404
00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,280
Wait a minute.
405
00:19:56,315 --> 00:19:57,245
Yes.
406
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,045
Yes,take a look!
407
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:04,280
The cash particles have completely
replaced all the hiv in kyle's blood!
408
00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:09,820
Boys,you've just found
the cure for aids!
409
00:20:10,190 --> 00:20:11,755
All right!
410
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:13,740
They've found the cure for aids!
411
00:20:13,775 --> 00:20:15,470
The cure for aids!
412
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:16,665
What is it?
413
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:19,660
Large doses of concentrated cash!
414
00:20:19,695 --> 00:20:21,290
Get the media on the phone!
415
00:20:21,325 --> 00:20:23,015
All right.
416
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:27,100
Scientists have just
discovered the cure for aids.
417
00:20:27,135 --> 00:20:31,150
About $180,000 shot directly
into the bloodstream.
418
00:20:31,185 --> 00:20:32,810
nigeria africa
419
00:20:34,690 --> 00:20:35,425
Hey!
420
00:20:35,460 --> 00:20:37,345
They just found the cure for aids!
421
00:20:37,380 --> 00:20:40,780
You just have to infect
yourself with all your cash!
422
00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:53,120
I am pleased to announce that there is no trace of the
hiv virus in either kyle broflovski or eric cartman.
423
00:20:54,430 --> 00:20:58,285
Together,these boys beat their
illness,with nothing but each other,
424
00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:02,890
and overcoming all odds other,and
overcoming all odds these two brave friends.
425
00:21:02,925 --> 00:21:05,105
Oh,stop!We're not friends!
426
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:08,355
He's the one who infected me with aids!
427
00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:13,390
Those two brave lovers found
the cure and helped the world.
428
00:21:13,425 --> 00:21:19,250
And so to honor these
boys,here is jimmy buffet!
429
00:21:19,285 --> 00:21:21,170
What?Oh,no!
430
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:28,600
Cure burger in paradise cure
burger there,I said it twice
431
00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:30,420
Agh,god dammit!
432
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,425
Well,I tell you this,kyle.
433
00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:35,450
I'm never getting my
tonsils out again!Ha,ha!
434
00:21:36,350 --> 00:21:38,670
I'm still breaking your xbox.
435
00:21:39,310 --> 00:21:40,855
What?No!
436
00:21:40,890 --> 00:21:42,250
Kyle,kyle,no!
30431
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