Original subtitles

Mr. Lin, we've searched Hong Kong for 4 months

at last we've found your son's children

that is to say, your grand children's whereabouts

Let's watch the video

His name is Lin Tin Chi

and works in an advertising agency in central

His mother, Jau Heung Heung is also in Hong Kong

Since she's married to your son

she's also known as Lin Jau Sze

Her favourite past time is mahjong

and plays with a group of rich ladies

ls my grand son married?

Not only has he not, but...

he has no intention of doing so

What? ls he gay?

No

Since a kid he's never had a relationship with a girl

He was frequently bullied by girls in primary school

and was beaten by girls in secondary school

He had a girlfriend in university...

but unfortunately, he was dumped by her after 2 months

Doctor said I'll live for another 2 months

Before I die, I hope

I can see our Lin family continues its lineage

I hope that she will show up soon

Mr. Lin, there's Chinese saying that

Money makes the world go round

You can ask them to get married in a month's time

or else they won't get the inheritance

Your 300 million U.S. dollars inheritance

300 million?

Mr. Stone, go to Hong Kong on my behalf

and tell Tin Chi to get married in a month's time

If by the first of next month, before noon

he's still not married

my 300 million U.S. dollars inheritance

will be given to my nephew instead

Three billion?

Me?

But on one condition

That is: no one is allowed

to know this secret

I don't want that woman to marry my grandchild

because of his money

Yes, Mr. Lin

Oh! Three billion...

What are you doing here, Robert?

Nothing, I'm singing

I'm singing in the rain...

lam a rich person now

Dear god, I've trusted you for so long

and have never asked you for anything

Tonight I hope that you can grant me

A two Circles

No, god

I want a perfect partner

to be with me for the rest of my life

I don't ask for much

as long as she has the combined qualities of...

Lin Ching Ha, Maggie Cheung and Cherie Chung

I know you'll grant me my wish

I hope that she will show up soon

Open

I'm as attractive & handsome as Chow Yun Fat,

and Andy Lau, and possess the personality of Wong Jing

Do I meet your requirements?

Who's Wong Jing? What personality?

Shameless, as low-class as I am

Cousin, what are you doing here in my room?

We're brothers, and all hotels are full

and the night is short

I can't let a beauty like that go to waste

Go out and watch your mom play mahjong

No, what if mom knows?

Nobody knows if you and I don't speak

Look

I need to take a shower

She hasn't had a shower yet, you're so unsympathetic

I can pay you rent for the room, please, do me a favour

No

Come out quick

What? Then what fun do I have?

Go...

Your turn

Mom

Not sleeping yet?

I can't sleep

Son, why are you yawning like this?

You are so rude

I've got a toothache

What are you laughing at?

That's a lousy discard!

What tile should I discard?

Come on, be snappy

Wait

One Circle

Mah-jongg

Got you at last, 13 unique wonders

I know they are scheming together to win

Right...

At times he's hysterical & also complains of toothache

This clearly is cheating

You should abide by the rules and admit you've lost

You can't say that

You had not won a game

and yet when your son came out you won a big hand

isn't this suspicious?

Yes

Son, go back to your room

What?

Of course, it's shameful to be accused as such

Go inside

Pay UP"-

What is that noise you're making?

Knocking on the door

But you're entering your own room

ls there a ghost inside? You're nuts

I forgot

Come in

Help me, I can't handle her, quick

Are you sick?

You need help for this?

Don't think so dirty

I only wanted you to hold her down

Where do you live?

India

India?

What's going on inside?

Go in...

Go in quickly

Quiet

Son, open the door

What are you doing inside?

What's all that noise?

I'm watching TV

Watching TV?

I don't think so

What a coincidence!

Such a coincidence!

So gross

Oh, hence your son has no girlfriend though he's 30

So many people, is there a party?

Is the advertising idea ready?

Soon, sir

What's the matter?

Do I have to get involved in this rubbish?

Pretty girl

Let's go and eat first

Where?

Wait...Let me call my girl friend first

Wait for me

I reach first

You...

Sorry, miss, I'll call first

I'll have to get a dollar first... where is it?

Do you have a dollar?

I have fifty cents

Sir, I have

Miss, you're so kind, thanks

You shouldn't fight if you do not have any coin

lam having rotten luck

which is following me around

Miss, stop this nonsense

You go back & ask your mom

May be I am your dad

What? You want me to beat you

That's not up to you

Alright, stop

It's okay

If you have the guts

let me slap you first

If I'm satisfied...

I might give you a dollar

Tin Chi, if you are smart

beg for me two dollars

Beg?

Go quickly

l...

You are a damn fool

What's the matter, Siao Siao?

Big boobs

These two bastards were fighting for the phone

So unlike a man, so low

Sorry, my friend likes jokes

Yes

Stop pretending, you weren't this gentle just now

Siao Siao

Miss, your name?

Call me Fitty

It's a misunderstanding, where do you work?

I'm a social worker

You're someone with ideals

I admire people in social work

What did you say?

I didn't say anything

What? You just asked me to fight with her for the phone

now you want me to date her

No

Shut up

Miss, promise him

If not

I'll be in trouble

ldidn-t

You're too kind

We're invited, why don't we go?

Iam not afraid of him

Siao Siao, this is not a good idea

Would you like some drinks?

Ask her

ls red wine okay?

Yes

That's no wine, it must be a beer

Four beers, wait

make that a dozen

When I first saw you

I knew you could drink

I cannot have wine

I haven't asked you to drink alone

Do you know how to play finger-guessing?

No

SUZUKl...TOYOTA...YAMAHA...

It's simple, you know now?

Can you be more gentle?

We're here to have fun

why put on so much restraint?

What did you promise me?

I said I'd be a lady

I'll not play with you anymore

Any cigarettes? Give me one

I don't smoke

You don't drink and don't smoke

you can't fight or do anything right

How can you get the girls?

I seldom

Not seldom, never

I'm different

I have too many girls

until this afternoon when I saw Fitty

my peaceful heart fluttered like a deer

You see I'm having goosebumps

Aren't you sick of this?

Can you stop arguing?

I don't think you could be serious for ten minutes

Says who? If within ten minutes

I utter anything profane

or act in a coarse manner, I'm a bastard

Starting from now

Alright, I'll bet a hundred dollars

Right

I'll bet five thousand

You said it

Of cou rse

If she doesn't speak foul language then I'm a bitch

You go to hell

Can you stop speaking profanity?

Tin Chi

Mom

What a coincidence!

Where are you going?

I just went to the temple to pray

and came here to eat

Are these your friends?

Yes, let me introduce you

Never mind...Go on and eat, I'm going back

Auntie

This is...

lam Lok Siao Siao, Auntie your skin is so smooth

I'm old

and I'm full of wrinkles

I mean it

I never lie

ls this Tin Chi's girl friend?

Maybe

They are such a match

Mom

What about us?

You daughter is different from you, but she's beautiful

Tin Chi tells me you're a good cook

I must learn from you one day

You're too kind. Next week is my birthday

come and have some fun

Sure, but Tin Chi might

bring another girl

You're kidding, who else would he bring?

You must come

Yes, Auntie, thanks

Good bye

Continue with your meal, goodbye

Mom, goodbye

Good bye

You're good

Thank you, Fitty

Yes, Mr. Lin?

My mother thinks you're really my girlfriend

I don't mind that if it were true

What a waste of a great beauty

Let me have the time

Thank you

The bet is still on

You've lost five thousand dollars to me, pay up

Damn you, it's fifteen seconds past the deadline

You'd better pay up

or else I'll beat you up

What are you looking at? Get on with your business

You didn't see me beat people

Turn back your head

Yes...

Why didn't you take a taxi?

As a child, Dad used to take me for a ride in a tram

He's not taking you anymore?

He's gone

Gone? What do you mean?

Dead

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it...so sorry

It's alright

He's been dead for a couple of years

He had a fight with someone

I've only got my brother and sister-in-law with me now

What does your brother do for a living?

Nothing permanent

As a security guard of the gambling house

or bet on the Mark Six

or being a loan shark

If anyone has a quarrel with someone

and are prepared to spend some money to settle it

He would help to them to "patch up"

Consider it as a temporary job

Then he is a member of the triad?

Not everyone is as lucky as you are

My brother only finished Primary Two

and I, Secondary One

What else could he do?

It's better to survive than be killed

You're young

yet so mature

You're pretty, you can be in a commercial

Really? I work as a model at times

I work in an advertising agency

We can work together if there's a chance, okay?

Okay...We can talk about this some other time

Come to my home

My brother used to say that

none of my boyfriends are good

He'll surely like you

Comemhave a seat

Tin Chi, she's my sister-in-law

Hi

Let me give you a cup of tea

No water at all

Let's have brandy instead

No need to stand on ceremony, madam

Never mind

Mom, I'm thirsty

Thirsty?

Have some brandy

Great

- Dear - Yes?

Bring me the "tools"

I'll need them later

Sister, your boyfriend?

He's asking you

l...

I'm chatting with you, not negotiating with you

You're slurring

Have one

What is it?

Something good

Marijuana, which kind is good

Of course my boss's is good

Strong and aromatic

From where? We plant them ourselves

I dare not smoke

Why not?

No

- Really? - Yes

Idiot

Take it

Excuse me

What are you doing with this big knife?

Would you believe me if I said it's for shaving?

No comment

Sister, where did you find this idiot?

He's an honest guy

Idiot

You dare bully my sister

I'll have you shaved, understand?

Yes

Similarly, if someone bullies you

tell me

I'll kill his whole family

Alright

I'm going

Have a good time

I'm going to a meeting

Don't go away, we'll have snack tonight

Remember, stay and don't go away

Yes, I won't go

What happened to your legs?

I don't know

They are shivering

My brother is actually a good person

It's just that he looks intimidating

There are not too many people as timid as you are

Let's go

No, your brother asked me to wait for him here

Don't worry, I'll go with you

There won't be trouble

Actually, I am not frightened

I'm going now, you don't have to go with me

ljust need some fresh air

Relax

I've forgotten to tell you my name

I'm called Lok Cheung Jian (long sword)

It's because when I was born

my father was holding a sword in his hand

That's why I am called Lok Cheung Jian

What's you rs?

Lin Tin Chi

I know where to find you

Brother Cheung Jian, watch your steps

Don't call me Brother Cheung Jian

I'm called Leslie

Call me Leslie

Same name as Leslie Cheung who has recently retired?

I've asked him to retire

He dares to have my name

Isn't he scared I'll cut him up?

I'm leaving

Brother Cheung Jian, no, Leslie

See you

You aren't afraid of him now?

Leslie is really kind

Cross this flyover and there's the MTR

Swing

I loved to swing when I was small

but it was never my turn

I couldn't even fight a girl

No one is on it now

Kids today are more mature

They cheat when they should still be on the swing

Instead of playing cowboys etc. they become robbers

When they should be on their bikes they...

Don't say it, I know...

They ride horses, what else?

Comemsmilemgood

Look over here, smile

Auntie

Auntie, how are you?

Welcome...

It's just a small token

Make yourself at home

Come inside

How come she just

gives me a cake as gift!

Come on, it costs two hundred bucks

I've business to attend to, I've got to go

I've promised to help out a friend

I've to hurry back

Relax, finish it before you go

The father of that family is a drug addict

mother is a dancing lady, the eldest son is an idiot

and the younger son has epilepsy

I heard that their home was on fire today

You'd better go and check them out

Alright, go then

Tin Chi, I need to talk to you, come over

Talk to me?

Siao Siao usually behaves very well

But don't let her drink

or else

she'll get drunk and talk nonsense

Understand?

Yes, I'll watch her

I'm going

Q kaY

Good bye

Look after Siao Siao

Don't worry

Good bye

Tin Chi

This is the first time you are with your girl friend

Let's drink to

your long over-due romance

Cheers

Cousins, you know that I can't drink

Stop messing around

Why not?

If you don't, I'll pour it over you

Are you drinking or not?

Leave me alone, please

Tin Chi, drink with cousins

on this happy occasion

Thank you...

Not this one

No?

It's this one

Are you kidding, this large one?

You can't lose your face in front of your girl friend

That's right, are you drinking or not?

Right

Q kaY

Drink...

You can really drink

Good stuff ought to come in pairs

Stop forcing him, okay?

Then you do it

Let's play finger-guessing

Good

Since you are a girl

I'll play five, ten, fifteen

Not necessary

Double, single, six to six

Drink...

Everyone, no one is leaving

You...Your turn

Fifteen, twenty

None, twenty, drink

I ain't taking advantage of you guys, I'll drink first

Siao Siao, don't drink

Why not?

You were having a good time just now

You, let's play finger-guessing

Let's go

Mom is looking at us

Go...

Auntie

Miss Lok, I didn't realise you could drink so much

No, l...l am drunk

Yes

Tin Chi, please help me out

Mom, she's drunk

Why are you so late, I waited for you so long

sorfY

Mrs. Nau

Happy birthday

Thanks for coming

It's your birthday. How can we not come?

That's right

It's still early, let's play mahjong

How can we, there's only the three of us

Ask your son's girlfriend to join in

- Me? - Yes

Miss Lok, join us

I don't know how to play

It's easy

If you lose, put it on my tab

What do you think?

Ill...

Come...try a few rounds

Go...

Mom

Tin Chi

lam Robert, your cousin

I've come from U.S. to look for you

What are you talking about?

Your late father's father

who is my father's uncle

Understand?

No

Auntie

What's he doing?

Auntie

What are you doing? Who are you?

I am Robert

ls your husband's name Lin?

Yes

Yours is Jau

That's right

So you must be Lin Jau, can't be wrong

Auntie

Sorry...don't mess up here, okay

Let me finish playing

Red dragon

pong

Wait

Mah-jongg, 13 unique wonders

How come! I got a pair

You got the last one

I have a good start

Auntie, who is she?

She's Tin Chi's girlfriend

Tin Chi is so stupid

to get involved with a swindler

What are you talking about?

I saw you fiddle with two tiles

no wonder you could have 13 unique wonders

Why are you setting me up?

Why would I? I don't even know you

lam your grandfather's grand nephew

I haven't even met my grandfather once

He's in the U.S., he has asked me to look for you

and invites you all to Paris

Really?

Stop talking nonsense, why are you setting me up

Siao Siao, forget it, don't be like that

Get lost

Bastard, I am challenging you

So fierce

Siao Siao, let go

Tin Chi, how can you mix up with people like her

She's a cheater

Mom, she isn't like this normally

She must be drunk

My Putonghua isn't good

but this seems to be called a wolf in sheep's clothing

You...

Siao Siao, don't be like this

Stop making trouble

You're not welcome

Do you think I like being here?

Siao Siao, don't go

Wait, take the cake with you if you must go

Keep it for your gang

Mom

Gang

Siao Siao

How about it?

Nice cake

Where are you going?

I saw in the studio next door

a real beauty

You have time to look at women?

My model hasn't arrived yet

I've chased them up, stop being so anxious

There's a real beauty next door...come...

What?

Look, not bad

CUT, change costume

Camera man, was that shot okay?

Yes

PA, see if we missed anything

Q kaY

'Hi! 'Hi!

SorfY

Are you alright?

Your ear ring

Thanks

Tin Chi, you're back

You're back

Tin Chi, Robert says

he's treating us to Paris

Do you know why?

This is out of pure love, I'm really sincere

Keep on dancing, Robert

Where did this foreigner come from?

I can speak Mandarin, Mrs. Lin

Your grandfather Lin Sin Fa

he is a New-York Chinese millionaire

and plans to leave 3 billion U.S. dollars to Tin Chi

with the condition that

he should marry within a month

There're 27 days left

That's the first of next month?

That's right

and it must be before twelve noon

No wonder you want us to go to Paris

because you don't want us to

get the 3 billion dollars, right?

No...

No?

If you can't get it then it's his

You're really a bastard

Auntie, your kung fu is good

Of cou rse

Son...

No more bull shit, get married at once

Easier said than done...how?

You needn't worry if you have money

There's another condition

The girl cannot know

he would be rich

Tin Chi, don't worry

leave everything to me

No matter what, I'll find you

a perfect wife

Her name is Ah Shin, she can work and is frugal

She's tidy and respectful

Then she's indeed not bad

My respects

Auntie, does your back hurt?

Do you want a massage?

No

Tin Chi, how about you?

No...

Get something to eat

No, the food is expensive here

Tin Chi, aren't you having that bowl of soup?

No, I'm full

I'll have it, so it won't get wasted

Auntie, you've only had half of your rice

I'm full

We must not waste

You don't want it anymore?

Of course not

This is not ravioli

I'm not eating it, I'm taking it home

to make glue

Aren't you overdoing it?

Ah Shin spends only 60 dollars a month

How can that be?

That's right, I sell my blood each month

and make a profit

Mrs. Lin, feel free to chat

Sue Na is very frank

She's just back from the States

Tin Chi, her figure is great

almost like me when I was young

Tin Chi, how old are you?

Twenty nine

Great. At the height of sexual potency

Beg your pardon?

Nothing, just considering sex

Do you have a regular sex partner?

Do you...

No...

What sort of contraceptive do you use?

I don't use any

I always encourage male contraceptives

It's more hygienic

and not harmful

especially at a time when AIDS is rampant

Come here

Come over?

Come on

What's up?

A kiss

Very ordinary kisser

luckily you don't smoke and your breath doesn't stink

but without a moustache it's less exciting

Never mind

I can live with it

Sue Na, you're really liberated

Right, making sure before marriage is better than

reg retti ng afterwards

If you're free, come to my place tonight

Your place?

Your place is fine too

To ensure compatibility we've to try before marriage

Shameless

I forgot I have an appointment with Ah Sum tonight

Let's keep it tomorrow evening then, okay?

Okay»-

Good night

Hello

She's my god daughter, Miss Mu Lan Hua

Really?

This one is not bad looking

Miss Mu, where do you work now?

Iam in the police force

Great, but you look so gentle

Doesn't working there scare you?

Don't move...

I've worn all my jewellery

I'm done for this time

Take it out quickly

Pal, calm down

What are you doing?

No...

Mom

Don't come near, or I'll kill her. Put it down

Careful, he'll really kill me

Put the gun down

Don't shoot

You dare to shoot, even in such a situation

Mom, are you alright?

She'll be fine

From the time he raised his knife to when he struck

there was at least one second

As soon as I shot his head, he died immediately

You were safe

I thought you were a typist

No, I'm with the Crime Section

Auntie, sit down and have some tea

No...

Anyone here?

Why is there no one?

Are you closed for the day?

Did you want a facial today?

What are you doing?

Relax, this is the latest product

from France

Miss, what is this?

It's the newest eye-mask, it's very effective

I never said lwanted it

You're an old customer here, so it's free

Really? Free?

I also want an electronic sliming programme

It's quick and effective

Has Mrs. Lin arrived?

Mrs. Chu, I'm here

You are also having a facial done

Are you new?

You do the facial for yourself or the customer?

This will save a lot of time

Sit down

Mrs. Lin, I'm already sitting

Right, has your son found his girl?

He's not rushing it, why should I?

The girl last time was not bad

She was still a long way off

That girl was quite good-looking

What's the use? She was so skinny

She did not have much flesh on her

her language was foul and she was rude

If Tin Chi picked her, I'd be in trouble

You're right

But then the girls these days

all go for what you call "being liberated"

I'm most scared of their type

She might cuckold Tin Chi

Really

It's difficult to say

Her face looked like a whore

and she was born promiscuous

Miss, it hurts

That means it's effective

Then put in more strength

Don't be angry

It's okay if I don't see her, but once I see her...

I just want to slap her

What are you doing?

I didn't tell you to slap me

Haven't you heard that?

This is a quick way to tighten

your skin with special effectiveness

Really?

Yes

Then keep slapping, I can take it

Does it hurt?

To look pretty, I'll take it

If I see that girl again

I must ask her to try my "cooking"

Jinhua ham. I'll help her parents to

teach her a good lesson

But anyWaY

her parents are not any better

An offspring would naturally take after its parents!

What happened?

Are you alright?

Do you want to kill me?

You have a bad heart, you want to trick me

What number are you?

I must ask your boss to fire you

This is ridiculous

It's unbelievable

She ran away

Mrs. Lin, what happened?

How could you hire

someone like her?

I was almost killed

Which one?

The one with a whitish complexion face

She ran that way, go and see

Sorry, I'll look inside

Let's go

Before they come, you'd better run

Thank you, goodbye

Good bye

No problem, wait till she comes out and has a look

That's right, it's really you

That's why you sound so familiar

So what?

I'll hit you

You dare?

How can you be so rude to customers?

So what? I can always work...

somewhere else. I quit

What's the big deal being a boss?

Stop shouting at me

And you two bitches,

stop saying bad things behind my back

Damn you

What are you talking about...

Mind you, if you continue to be like this

I'll beat you up

What is it?

When we were young, we used to...

walk like this, wriggling our ass & catching attention

Men would be captivated

Does it still work now?

Of course not, things change

What's popular now? Auntie

See who's got the biggest breasts

Both claim their bosoms

are bigger than the other

After all it's nothing but a lump of flesh

It's so disgusting

Auntie, what do you think mine is?

Yours is a fried egg

Fried egg?

A cold one

So you have to pretend to be sexy

Show me a sexy posture

Sexy?

What are you doing?

Have you been constipated for 3 days?

No

Every time I watch a porn movie

this is what the actress will do...

The way you look

can only attract wild dogs

instead of men

Then how can I be sexy?

Watch me

Your eyes and lips must be alluring

Stick up your buttocks

Press both hands like this to accentuate your breasts

The eyebrows and corners of your eyes must appear sexy

Men seeing you like this will surely run after you

Where did these 2 ostriches come from?

No, Auntie is teaching me how to appear...

I'm teaching your cousin to be graceful

Mom, didn't you say that

that is cheating?

How come you believe that now?

Don't talk about this now

Tin Chi, I've introduced so many girls to you

which one do you like?

No one

You don't like them either, right?

Don't be picky, just pick one

There's not too much time left, 20 more days

I don't want to talk about this

Auntie, do I have to pretend to be an ostrich

when I see cousin?

Come...

Come and have a look

How about I put on sun-tan oil for you?

I've a sense of security near him

Mom, you haven't swum for so many years

Why are you swimming today?

She looks like a big ship trembling in water

What does that mean?

Kicking off big waves (Play sexy)

Talking nonsense

Son, come and have a look

I've introduced so many girls to you

Don't you like anyone of them?

I've asked them all to come out today

See whose figure is the greatest and pick her

Auntie, where should I put this?

Anywhere will do

I don't know who's got great figure

But if like her, she will become Rambo one day

Auntie, come and sit over here

Thank you

Have you read today's paper?

I've brought several from the restaurant

Did you bring any dim sum?

Yes, my grandmother has brought back

some leftovers, I'm still keeping them

Have them if you like

Your grandmother went for tea so early

No, they are from last month

Tin Chi, Auntie

Miss Mu, thanks for coming

Her figure is great

Go swimming if you like

I'll come to you after I've talked to my son

Okay, I'll go and check if there are thieves

I'll beat him up if I catch one

Cousin, I am here

Want something to eat?

Auntie, cousin

This one is good, don't lose the opportunity

Are you tired of living?

Mom, you'd better...

Alright...calm down

You only have to pick one among the three

and that's it

Do you want some? It's good

When are you taking your holidays?

Holidays? I seldom have any

I won't miss a chance

...to fight crime

Yesterday, I was so happy to have

caught a perverse murderer

Really that exciting

Once we swarmed in we put him under control

and handcuffed him to the window, and found he has

cut the body into pieces and stored them in the fridge

and put the flesh and the organs separately

Do you know how ruthless he was?

He cut off his own hands in order to escape

so ljust put a bullet in his head

His brain splashed all over the place

Then I found out that he was having his breakfast

His congee was cooked with the dead man's organs

The eyeballs were still swimming in the pot

"staring straight at me

In his bowl

I found 2 fingers...

waving around

Looks like the 2 sausages you are now eating

So disgusting, I want to throw up

You voice is good, & the scream frequency high enough

In future if we need to film a re-visit

of the crime scene

I'll surely recommend you to be

the woman who had been cut into pieces

Snow white and the seven dwarfs

Seven dwarfs love hitting holes

Seven months with seven devils

going up the hill to hit holes...

No response, no strength?

Another one

Mayflower is a great restaurant

Ladies inside are not bad

They can do all kinds of things

what are you looking at?

What are you doing?

Iam singing

singing?

What song?

On the lovely green trees

There are water melons and pineapples

He's singing a dirty song

You fat bastard

You dare sing dirty songs in front of my girlfriend?

Sing it then

Sing 500 songs, if you miss one, be careful

500? Alright

sing

Alright...l'll sing

I have two guns, one long and one short

The long one fight robbers, the short one is for ladies

FUCK...

Really?

No

Her again

Tin Chi, you are the most attractive man

I've ever seen

Tin Chi, I fell in love with you

the first time I saw you, I'm willing to be your slave

Hold me tight

Give me a break

Tin Chi...

What happened to you?

Siao Siao, come here

Go, let's go

Mom, Siao Siao has come on purpose to apologize to you

Auntie

Auntie

It's too crowded here

Not at all, it's spacious

I said it's crowded

Auntie, if you don't like her

I can deal with her

I didn't say that, we are civilized people and

don't want to get involved with these low-class people

Right...

Siao Siao...

Siao Siao, don't be angry with my Mom

I apologize

What's wrong with your Mom?

I have my own dignity

You want me to apologize to her

Alright

HelP

I'm coming

Tin Chi, can you swim?

HelP

Help...l don't know how to swim, help

Auntie, look at cousin

Tin Chi

HurTY

Tin Chi...

Cousin

Why have you gone in if you don't know how to swim?

I'll go look for help

I'll go and get some medicine oil

I'll go with you

I'll check the trash to see if there's any medicine oil

Tin Chi...

I'll treat him with artificial respiration

Why are you in my way?

Go away

Tin Chi, are you alright?

Did you save me?

How are you?

Thanks for saving my life

You did this to save me

Right, are you free tomorrow night?

Come to my home for a party

I've been cheated, lousy watch

supposed to be water proof

You're so noisy, go away

Baby girl...

This is not a sex song

Indeed it is

Sing a sex song

Yes...

Sing...

You can kiss me, and you can play with me

Even if we have no lover's luck, we can still say hello

Thanks for saving my life the other day

Don't mention it. You're the most feminine woman

...l have ever met

This is the first time I hear anyone say this

They would only say that

lam the most romantic woman

or a woman with great figure

Some will even say that I am a prude

Have a drink, okay?

Q kaY

Please

Thank you

What would you like to have?

Two Nigo Nigo

Sure

Did you use African language just now?

No, it rhymed with a kind of Taiwanese mahjong

It's fun, they come in pairs

It's a mixture of rum, vodka, tequila

and brandy

together with other special stuff

Tastes quite good

Thank you

Try it

Alright, I'm looking forward to an exciting night

How do you feel?

Nothing

How come? Drink some more

You should feel something

Yes

How does it feel?

Feels like someone is knocking on my head

Your feeling is different, is it wonderful?

Yes

That's bad, what happened?

Did I lose my virginityjust like that?

Who did I give my first night to?

This is too easy on her

Should I cry?

It's her

If it's her then I've made it

I want to be here alone

Be careful not to fall sick

Never mind

I've never been so free before

I'm not a promiscuous girl

Neither am I

You must be a free spirit

You'll forget

about tonight's affair

tomorrow

I won't

You'll regret it if you are serious about me

Shit!

The rain has stopped. Let's go in, okay?

Alright

What kind of rain is this?

It comes and goes, what's happening?

Life is like rain

So unpredictable. One knows not what will happen next

So, better forget about it

No, I've to bear the responsibility

Do you make all the decisions?

When did I ever promise you?

You won't promise me?

For that we'll have to see how you perform

From tomorrow onwards, you have to start dating me

Start dating you?

And...bring me to meet your family

Alright, let's go in

You block-head, you eat so much

Where has all your strength gone?

It's no better than scratching

What should I do?

I've twisted this side of my neck

You should push it back in place

slowly and carefully

Use strength? That's simple, be careful

What are you doing?

What are you doing? So rough

This is my head, it's not a ball

One more time?

No...don't touch me

I'll call 119

Call for a hearse or an ambulance?

Damn what you say

Auntie

Don't worry. My mom is a good person, come

Mom, what happened to you?

I've twisted my neck

Mom

Cousin

Auntie

This is Miss Fung

This way please

How are you...

Auntie, I've learned massage before

Do you want me to try

You?

Can you do that? Auntie

Auntie, relax

It work

How is it?

Good skill

Thank you...come...have a seat

Sit

Get some tea

You want me to bring her tea?

Stop grumbling, do it

- Tin Chi - Mom

Where did you find such a beautiful lady?

Mom, do you think she's great?

I know what's the best

How long have you known each other?

Not too long, but...

We've been close for quite a while

Where do you work?

Me?

Mom, she's a model

I stepped on dog shit yesterday

Pepper, Chilli powder

Flavours of all kind

It's you again

ls Tin Chi home?

Siao Siao

Tin Chi

It's an honour to have you here

Tin Chi, I need to talk to you

Let's go in

Talk in the living room

His girlfriend is here

She won't like it if you talk inside

I'll go and change

Have a seat

Lan Lan, bring some tea to her

We can't afford to offend her

Auntie, I know that I've been too reckless

It's all my fault

I want to apologize

Don't say that, I don't deserve it

we are just ordinary people

In case you are angry, you may beat me up

Auntie, since she's here

she must be sincere in apologizing to you

There are a lot of things which you may not understand

and I don't want to mention them again

Let me tell you honestly

I don't like Tin Chi going out with you

Why?

No particular reason

For a free spirit, we have Lan Lan here

Miss Fung is beautiful as well as refined

You are way behind them

Frivolous "washing board" (skinny)

Watch your mouth

Who's the frivolous "washing board"?

What do you want? Want to fight?

Stop quarrelling

Alright, since you all look down on me

I don't have to respect you either, Tin Chi

HelP---

Mom, what happened?

Son...

What happened to you?

She slapped me

and hit my head against the wall

See how ruthless this woman is

Why do you accuse me wrongly?

How can you do that?

My mom is old

and you still hit her

Lin Tin Chi, you don't trust me

Mo Yan, what's going on?

I don't dare to say

Tell the truth

This lady comes with sincerity to apologize

Auntie might have some prejudice against her

and has said something nasty to her

You heard them all

You should talk things out

But you shouldn't beat her

What? You...

You beat her

See how you've beaten her up

Can you live with that?

Siao Siao, you have gone too far

Lin Tin Chi, damn you

I'll bear this in mind

Cousin, I'll beat her for you

Idiot, she started fighting since she was a kid

You are no match for her

That's true

Miss Fung, thank you for telling the truth

That's the truth, does it hurt?

It's alright now, we're lucky to meet again

Come...let's talk inside

How come everybody's gone, what am I supposed to do?

You want to be a lady?

Put on a lady's watch

and you can show off your refinement

Let's go and dance

Not bad

Of cou rse

I'm very pleased

I'm sure this will attract...

some middle and lower class customers

I want to sign her as our model

for the Lady's Watch

I'm afraid I can't find her

No problem, you will

Tin Chi is looking for you everywhere

He wants you to sign a long-term contract

as model with his company

You know what a bad state I was in the other day?

That bastard likes that

big-breasted woman

And his mother and that woman

set me up

Why should I work for him?

Are you still angry with him?

Look at you, you went there in a great fury

Others would think that you were there for a fight

You should look back at yourself

and don't put on those dresses again

Why don't you change your image?

You should develop a shapely body

then dress up like a refined lady

You're afraid you'll lose to her

I can't swallow this

In that case let my brother

teach him a lesson, okay?

"Plastic surgeon Wu Jing Bao"

Your nose is too big and should be down-sized

Your eyebrows are too thick and should be trimmed

Your lips should be straighter

Also you're too tall; ought to be made shorter

I haven't come for a make-over

No?

Then why are you wasting my time?

Iam looking for a girl

Then I think you've come at a bad time

If she's still in the process

of a facelift, she'd scare you

I'm looking for Lok Siao Siao

You should go to the ball room downstairs then

Doctor, she asked me to come here

Please help me find her

What do you take this place for?

Think you'd have service at your fingertips? Crazy!

Alright...l admit it, what do you want?

If you want to see Siao Siao...

you'd have to let me give your face a make-over

Why would I need that?

You could have one, down below

What? Up to now...

I am fully satisfied with it

What if I add a mole for you?

Mole? Alright...

Wait

I'll fix him for you

Give it all you've got

Doctor, you need so many tools just for a mole?

There are not too many

You're exaggerating

Scared of the needle? Take an anesthetic then

Alright then...

Forget it if it's that big

This is the forerunner of needles

After this you'll feel no pain

Turn your face away if you're scared

No, l...

Do it quick

Here goes

Still painful?

I'll interchange between left and right hand

Here's a supplementary shot

Did you know...

I was awarded overseas?

I was the flying-dart champ

Take off your pants, quick

Why? What for?

Do it now, quick

I have never seen a grown man

so fussy about dropping his pants

You're not the one having an injection

Damn

A quick shot

The invincible needle

Who is it?...

ls it Siao Siao?

Take out the syringe

Siao Siao

Siao Siaomso you're here?

What do you want me for?

To sign the agreement

You can get your mom and Miss Fung

to be models, I am not eligible

For the sake of friendship, please

My boss really likes you and...

asks me to get you to agree to a long term agreement

to be a model for commercials

Get this shot first, then explain

No need, doctor

Says who? You're not the one making the decisions here

Alright, I'll shut up

Right, if you're sincere

let me give you this shot

Would you?

Come on

On the armpit

Go on, just to demonstrate my sincerity

Lower your arms, you have body odour

Siao Siao

Then I needn't take this shot

yet you'll sign the agreement for me?

That's great

Don't take my advantage

So much hair

Did you know he went looking for Siao Siao?

Yes

Then you still have the time for a facial?

Should I cry instead?

Think of something

Don't let that girl ruin our affairs

Tin Chi has asked me to watch a wedding gown show

"European wedding gown show 1990"

This dress is not bad

It's not special, I don't like it

We're just here to watch, you don't need to buy it

Our wedding should be special

Do it in the same way

So beautiful

Siao Siao, how come she is so beautiful?

Beautiful

Excuse me

Are you Mr. Lin?

Yes

Siao Siao asked me to give this to you

Tin Chi, I'll meet you at 10 pm tonight

at the swing

I hope to see you there

Siao Siao

Come

How come you showed up at the fashion show today?

Do you think only your Fung Mo Yan could be a model?

No, I don't mean that

lam saying...

I feel happy to see

my good friend on stage

You men are so pretentious

It's because you still like me. Or else...

you wouldn't have come for me at the back stage;

Not to mention coming here tonight

Are we still good friends?

True friendship is rare between a man and a woman

You are not good at lying

You'd better tell the truth

Do you like Fung Mo Yan or me?

Think carefully

I want to straighten out this matter

Hello?

Did he really come to meet Lok Siao Siao

What are we going to do? I'll come right away

I think you are sick, it's not about fighting

Hello...

Damn it, out of order again

Say it

l...

Siao Siao, I've had a sexual relationship with Mo Yan

I must bear the responsibility

Sexual relationship?

Yes

In a stormy night

I drank too much

When I woke up I was lying on her bed

So this is what you call sexual relationship?

She said it was her first time

If it was her first time,

you must have felt something

Have you studied biology?

Oh yes, I didn't see blood stain on her bed sheet

I think you must have been cheated by her

Impossible

Tin Chi

Mo Yan

How dare you see another woman

...behind my back!

And yet you suspect me of cheating you

How can you say such things?

Alright

This is poison

I'm prepared to take it if you betray me

This is the day

So big, it looks like Vitamin C

See you in the next life

Mo Yan...

Tin Chi

Mo Yan

Why isn't he following?

That damned Maria, ltold her to get me pills

but not this big

How is it?

What's wrong?...

I know, your teeth are white, your tongue is long

Hello

Tin Chi

Mo Yan, what's wrong? So weird

Tin Chi, I know that you still love

your ex-girlfriend, is that correct?

What are you talking about?

Did my mother tell you anything?

No, I'm tired

Then have some rest

You won't see me again

I want to sleep

Then go to sleep

I've taken ample sleeping pills & will sleep very well

What? Mo Yan...

Sleeping pills, Mo Yanmsuicide...

Hurry, your girl is waiting for you

Mo Yan has committed suicide

Suicide

Mo Yan...

Mo Yan

Mo Yan

Mo Yan...

Wake up...

Am I dead?

Mo Yan...

lam still alive?

You are not dead

I'll take you to the hospital

Mo Yan, are you alright, did I hurt you?

Be patient, I'll take you to the hospital immediately

Why? You like Lok Siao Siao

l...

l...only have half a year to live

it's no use saving me

I'd rather fulfill your wish

Mo Yan, what nonsense are you talking about?

I have leukaemia and will live for half a year

I didn't tell anyone

Mo Yan, you...

Why didn't you tell me?

What's the use?

Of course there is

Mo Yan, don't worry

I'd marry you

I want you to be happy for the remaining half year

Don't lie to me

I won't, I swear

Have some rest, I'll keep you company

How about you move to my home?

O kay?

Yes

It stinks

This is a real precious tonic

I've used 10 bowls of water and boiled them down to 3

for your cousin-in-law

I'll take it to her afterwards

Then I have to go with you

Stay at home

Maria

Hello, Ma'am

ls Miss home?

I'll bring her the soup

They are not home

lam going to the supermarket

Okay...you g0

Mo Yan...l am Robert

You are marvellous

You've fooled that idiot Lin Tin Chi

I'll call you now that he's not home

Right, the second payment is 200,000 U.S. dollars

I've deposited it into your Swiss account

As long as we pass the first of next month

also, we must set that kid up

I'll give you extra U.S.$ 500,000 after it's done

What a great Love Killer you are

Right, remember to delete the tape

Bye

This is really bad

That Miss Fung

conspired with that damn Robert

That was close. We were almost cheated by them

Tell Tin Chi immediately

What have you done wrong?

Why are you so frightened?

You are trying to twist the fact

You have such a bad heart

You lied and cheated my son

Get lost if you are smart enough

and don't see my son again

I'll throw you out

by all means

Let us make this clear, old woman

This is my home

So what?

You think I don't dare to beat you up?

Try me

I'll beat you up

Still want to fight?

You are so ruthless, you want to kill me?

So what?

Listen carefully

I'm the first runner-up of U.S. woman's judo contest

Want to try another round?

Don't touch me...

Wait till my son is back

HelP---

My head

Does it hurt?

You old bitch, go to hell

Don't try this on me

Tin Chi

Mo Yan...

My son

Mo Yan...

I'm back

Son, this bitch...

Mo Yan, what happened?

Nothing...nothing

What happened to your face?

I hit it accidentally

Hit? How come there're fingerprints?

L...

Your head

Mom

What, why are you looking at me?

Do you believe in me or her?

She hit herself

Mom, what did you do?

Last time when you fought with Siao Siao

I let it go

This time you did it again to Mo Yan

What do you want from me?

Son, even you defend this bitch

ls that right?

I don't care anymore, settle it yourself

Tin Chi...

Siao Siao

We don't know each other well, no need to be intimate

You're right, Miss Lok

Don't take to heart

what has happened between us, alright

Nothing seems to have

...happened between us

It's all my fault

I have been fooled

and have fallen into the trap of that woman

I've been fooled by her lies

Tin Chi is infatuated with her

No one can save him now except you

How come you are giving me such a great compliment?

Am I not a "washing board", a swindler

a no-good bitch...

who's a bad influence on your son?

Save him? Can I do that?

Take it easy, brother will give you all the support

Brother Cheung Kim

Shorty, I haven't hit you yet

Brother

Auntie, I'm afraid I can't help you

We can only blame ourselves for not having the luck

We've to watch the 300 million U.S. dollars inheritance

being flushed down the toilet

Say it again

Let me tell you honestly

Tin Chi can inherit 300 million U.S. dollars

from his grandfather

provided he got married within 10 days

If he fails to do so

that money will go to Robert

That bitch was recruited by Robert

Mother-in-law

Why didn't you tell me earlier?

To me honour and integrity

is more important than money

I can't bear this

Sister, if you don't help her

who else can? Besides we are like family

Brother

No need to say it. Let me tell you

whether it's Mark Six, horse betting, mahjong

or fighting one on one, we the Lok family

have never lost, not to mention fighting over a man

I'd rather get him and dump him later

Will definitely have to fight

Sister, calm down

I'll go with you to talk to her

Don't be afraid, go in

open UP»-

Good morning, Mister

Where are you from?

Brother, she's Maria, the maid

Then she's her follower, I've to scare her off

I don't like your face, get lost

Or else I'll cut you into pieces

She's scared, go in

Miss Lok, this is...

I'm her brother

Have a seat please

I don't want to waste any time, let's get to the point

Good

I want to spare you

I hope that you can spare Tin Chi

He's a simple person

You are simply playing games with him

Why do you have to hurt his feelings

Yes, I cheated him at the very beginning

but I have grown to like him

Our marriage is not because of money

Three more days and we have to get married

I beg you not to separate us

How can you make me believe in you?

That's right, how can that idiot satisfy you?

I'm stronger than he is

Miss Lok, I am serious

Whether you agree or not

let's have a drink and be friends, okay?

You're so lean & not strong enough, let me help you

Thank you

Have a cup

No need

I won't be stupid enough to give up someone I like

and I'm not interested in making friends with you

If you don't give him up, I'll fight you to death

Brother, go

Sister, you can't blame us, she doesn't want to give up

so let's do what we must

HelP---

A robbery, don't let them go

Don't go

What happened?

He hit my head and robbed my jewellery

Who did?

It's in his pocket

Who robbed your jewellery?

What jewellery?

What are these?

Hurry, take him to the police station

Go

Hello, good morning

Maria

Yes, Ma'am

What are you doing?

Mister

Trying on my new suit, don't you see that?

You are such a professional, so real

Now just get the time right

Go near the church at 11:55

He'll get nothing if I don't marry him

When I get the money, consider the mission accomplished

Sorry, I've changed my mind

What, what do you mean? Please explain to me

I've decided to marry Tin Chi today

You must be joking

I don't want to go on with this game

You gave me 500,000 U.S. dollars

But if I marry Tin Chi

I can get not only the 300 million U.S. dollars

I can also get real love

Even if I divorced Tin Chi

I can get at least 150 million U.S. dollars

ls my calculation correct?

You...

Don't use foul language

I've forgotten to tell you

I've put drugs in your tea

Good night

Auntie, cheer up

How can I?

If he doesn't get married, there'll be no inheritance

If he does, my life is at stake

There's still hope in it

before they say "l do"

This is a church

even if the Kwan-yin bodhisattva wants to save me

...she won't want to go in

What happened?

I suddenly think of Siao Siao

What about her, you're getting married soon

I wonder what happened to them both

...at the police station?

They'll be alright

No...l don't know why he has to rob

I don't know either

Why did Siao Siao rob...

Miss Fung the day before you get married?

Alright...

There's nothing strange about it

What good deed can a bitch do?

Alright, I don't want you to criticize her

He's gone to take a leak

Although Siao Siao is an extrovert

she wouldn't go robbing people

I think she must have been wrongly accused

I really hope that she's here

so that I could ask her

That's right

Ask what? Don't move

Big Brother

Don't call me Big Brother

You think you'll be spared if you call me big brother

Bastard, you dump my sister

and marry someone else, I'll castrate you

Brother, don't

It'll be gone if it goes down the toilet

Stop yelling, or I'll castrate you too

Yes...

Bastard

Where's Siao Siao?

Siao Siao? "Cleaning" up

That is killing, don't you understand?

Don't do it

Don't move, or else I'll have you castrated

Brother

What is it?

Before I die, I have a wish

Can you fulfill my wish?

What is it? Damn it, you are so troublesome

Oh man, let me park my goods first

ls it okay?

Let's go out

You are scared?

Aren't you?

Have you been arrested by the police?

Leave this place immediately if you are smart

For the sake of Tin Chi

I can give you some money for you to run away

Since I'm here, I won't leave that easily

What do you want?

You took my boyfriend

and set me up, and charge me with robbery

What do you think I would want?

If I scream, you won't be able to get away

I will not run, in fact I just want to kill you

Sorry, it's my fault

As long as you put down the knife

I'll do whatever you want me to

Tell me

all about your faults

I've asked Robert to put the jewellery

in your brother's pocket

I hit my own head

I lied to Tin Chi about our sexual relationship

which in fact we haven't had

I hit his mother

and told him that his mother hit me

I want you to say this again

in front of Tin Chi

Go inside

Siao Siao

Tin Chi

Say it

l...

What do you want to say?

Tin Chi, she threatened me

not to marry you

What are you talking about?

You shameless bitch

You not only rob, you want to kill, isn't it?

Isn't it?

Siao Siao, has she admitted it?

So you two have conspired

If you're that good

you can ask Tin Chi not to marry me

I'm not afraid of you

What are you doing?

They were in court this morning

and were bailed out

Tin Chi

lam not scared no matter how...

they threaten me

I must marry you

Son, don't believe in what this bitch says

Mo Yan, although my mom...

doesn't want me to marry you

this is not a problem

Tin Chi

I've thought over it very carefully, I won't marry you

It's Siao Siao that I love

No matter if I've had... sexual relationship with you

whether she has robbed, I don't really care

I must marry Siao Siao

Great, you are the greatest

Alright, 3 more minutes to 12:00

If you don't want me, this church

won't marry you and another woman

What are we going to do? No more inheritance

Mom, we can be as happy

even without that 300 million, right?

That's right

But I don't want Robert to get it either

No

lam your grandfather Lin Sin Fa

What's going on? Aren't you seriously ill?

I had Chinese medicine and acupuncture; I'm fine now

That money won't turn out to be nothing

I feel better now

Good, nobody gets anything

You shameless bitch

Stop grumbling or I'll kill you

Tin Chi, who is the one you like?

I like her

It's nice

Relax. Although not the 300 million inheritance...

I'll fully support you in setting up a business

Thank you, grandpa

A man should set up his own business

Don't you feel bad either

I wanna talk to you, would the others please excuse us

Dad

Go out

The old man can't fight her

If we could not

take care of that bitch

I'll chop her up

You sure have guts

Bitch, what do you want?

Don't be scared, she was only

having fun when she framed you for robbery

You know how to play tricks

No, I'm an expert in women

lam going with Mo Yan

to Hawaii next month for our honeymoon

What?

What are you talking about?

As long as there's money, everyone suits me

Mom

Did you call me bitch?

I was just pulling your leg

Siao Siao, I didn't get the inheritance

will you still marry me?

Is it plastic surgery? The bride looks different

No, Father, I've changed my mind

Young man, then do what you must

Alright, let's start

Welcome everyone to the wedding ceremony today

I'll castrate you if you don't finish it in 30 seconds

Alright, will you marry him?

I do

Will you marry her?

He will

l do

Kiss him then

Kiss me

It's done