Original subtitles

Now, you have to understand, this gentleman here has bought this lamp for

quid. He's a return purchaser. He's a return purchaser, so we give him a deal.

So much so, I've lost 15 quid on that.

There you go, mate.

My name is Henry Cole, and I'm a junkaholic.

Better get wheeling and dealing.

Together with me three mates, top restorers, Alan Milliard. Yes!

Guy Willerton.

I'm like a coiled spring.

And Sam Lovegrove.

We've been rummaging our way through Britain's sheds. Wow.

Farm sales, auctions and jumbles for automotive treasures.

Oh, my Lord, look at that.

To buy, do up. That's just lovely.

And sell on for a tidy profit.

75 quid. But it's time to take a look back at the best bits of our lives as

four junketeers. OK, that's enough of that.

Is indicating left.

Taking in the good.

Now that is proper cool.

The bad and the ugly.

All for one. And one for all.

This is the Junk and Disorderly retrospective. Junk and Disorderly.

Hey, welcome to Junk and Disorderly Best Bits.

With me today, we've got the Alan and we've got the Skiddler.

Can I just say, boys, before we start, this crash helmet has been on the table

for a good many shows.

It has. I've always wanted to know whether it would fit me. We bought this

shed the other day, right, just because I think it looked great. But does it

fit?

It does. It does.

What do you think? The classic look. I think it's great, yeah. Just don't fall

off. Mate, either way, this would offer no protection whatsoever.

Those early racers were gladiators, weren't they? If you came off, mate,

be in a lot of trouble, wouldn't you? Now, look, I'm digressing. Right, junk

disorderly best bits. Well, let's crack off with a rather nice shed.

Me and Guy have headed back to Wiltshire to see Phil and his daughter, Annika.

We've been here a few times over the years, buying stuff from Phil and his

Brian, who is also an avid collector.

He's not so well anymore, so they're downsizing.

Phil, Annika, I've got to tell you, on a day like today, I'm in my summer

attire. Can I apologise for that? Do you mind?

Yeah, not at all.

It's in there, isn't it? Yeah, it's straight in there. All right, we'll see

in a bit. Okay. All right, come on, Skid.

Look at all that stuff.

Oh, look, straight off.

That's as close as I'm going to get to it. Is that a roller or a Bentley? It's

roller. That's a roller.

And also, the James Bond after Martin.

How do you make the ejector feet work?

Oh, there we go. The man's missing. That's a shame. Oh, really? He's gone.

been ejected. Actually, you see, that seriously does affect value. If that had

the box and had the evil person in it, it'd be worth some wage. But that's

Fiver, probably?

This first shed is perfect for an auto jumbler's sweep.

Within five minutes, we've got a table full of headlamps, model planes, petrol

cans. I think it says 8 .36. OK, so that's August 36. Yeah. It was made.

And to cap it off, a brass beauty.

Yeah, what is that?

Oh, it's a water bottle for when you were travelling in your car. Oh, what, a

hot water bottle?

Yeah, to keep you warm when they didn't have heaters.

Time to call back.

Phil and Annika.

What do you reckon?

For the lot.

45.

Yeah. Great, Phil. Okay. I'm not even going to argue, mainly because Alec is

here. I do feel like a shop assistant.

We'll move on now into the other shed.

This is where they store the big stuff.

Okay, now look, right, let's just quickly talk Velocette.

LEs. Now, obviously, as we know, these were police motorcycles predominantly.

Yes. And they were famed, weren't they, for being so silent? Yes. So the robbers

and the counter -jumpers couldn't hear the officer coming.

Yes, and they're called noddy bikes.

Oh, yeah, that's right. They were, weren't they? Because if they were

their senior officer, they had to nod. Both of those are Mark I or Mark IIs.

Why? Because it's hand start. Hand crank, isn't it? So that's not thief.

Try that one. No, that's not feed.

If we can get them for around a grand, and we're flogging them for 1 ,300, you

know, then that could be great.

So that settles it.

Time to get Phil and Annika back.

Are they available?

Yes, they are, yeah. OK. And have they got reg docs?

I think both of those have.

We'll have to share it with Dad. OK. Now, what would you want? If we bought

those, plus...

This little accoutrement pile, what would you say would be a fair price?

Probably about 2 ,100 for the lot.

Just shake his hand, don't haggle, because I think that's a very fair

And will you send Brian our very best? Thanks, guys. Guys pay.

Yeah, can we talk about Velociraptor?

LE specifically.

It stands for little engine. Just generally, that stands for little

Little engine. Is that what it stands for? LE, yeah, little engine.

Because when I first got Shed Dwelling, I saw those bikes and I thought, how

could anyone have designed that? But Al, they were really novel in their day,

weren't they? Very, very novel. Shaft drive, water cord.

Hand start.

That's right. So look, we've got two Velocets and some other detritus.

there was a lot of stuff there. What a great shed it was. Yes. Eh?

Fantastic. And you gave us all a boring lesson on how to date a can.

Sorry, I think it's really interesting that you can take a can, you can turn

them upside down, and you can see the date, 8th 36th, I think that one was.

Yeah. So, August 8th, 1936.

Yes. And I find that amazing, that's part of history, right there, bosh,

straight in your face.

Hey look, we may have got some lovely trinkets and a couple of vellos, but

obviously, as always, we've got to restore them.

I know straight away the water's been drained.

That's a good sign, though. Which is a good sign, but the cylinder head's been

welded, so it's obviously had some crack damage in the past.

Have you had a look at that one?

Same, same boat.

OK, look, never mind. I'm sure they're going to run like Swiss watchies.

Later, Guy's got a load of stuff to polish, but we'll start with the

Let me just take you round the Velocette LE, and that is because we're filling

it up slightly, but instead of a normal motorbike with a...

Kickstart. It's actually the early model, the Mark 1, has a hand crank.

Also,

it has a hand shift as well. Don't get the two mixed up, otherwise you can get

into deep trouble. I'm pretty sure the original Mark 1 had a hand start,

the police don't want to get their shoes dirty.

Is that so?

Patent shoes.

How cool is that? But their knees were worn out on their trousers from trying

fix it.

Prophetic words, because when I try the starter lever, the spark plugs refuse to

play ball.

Very small tingle.

Thank you. The points are right down here.

It looks as if the points, the tiny switches at the heart of the ignition

system, are gunked up. So Alan goes at them with some sandpaper.

Take two.

Alan!

Work it in.

That's it.

That's amazing, man. So we got the first... We got the first one.

Going.

We refill the cooling system.

There we go. That's it. OK, we're nearly there, Matt. And while Alan and Guy

carry on fettling, I put our other acquisition through its paces.

And...

There's a real one up there somewhere.

I can hear it.

Look, it's got fully workable propellers, Al. Also, you can get your

friends in, look.

Oh, they are.

I think this is going to sell immediately at the Jumble. I think

be dragging it around the country for the next six months.

You wait. Someone's bringing a three or six -year -old kid along, and they go,

do you want this for 800 quid? Yes, please.

Alan's got the second velothet into the shed to avoid the showers.

Have you taken refuge?

Got a bit wet outside, so we came in here. All right, great. Do you think

ready? I'm sure we're ready to go now, yeah.

All right. Let's get the battery up.

Good.

Better. Alan!

What's better?

Well, roughly the other one.

I'm going to check the spark plug just to make sure they're okay. Okay. All

right, so look.

Basically, we're in a situation, folks, where tomorrow morning it'll be a ride

out.

Are you sure we

are ready for a ride out?

As close as we can be, I think.

What does that mean? We've got no fluid leaks. The battery seems to hold its

charge. Do we know that the gears work and everything?

I've got three -speed gearboxes. That's got two gears. This has got one gear.

We're halfway there then, aren't we? Yeah, we've got three gears instead of

Hang on a second.

So in that case, you should be solo on the dodgy one. I'll nurture this one

along. Right.

You want to ride or come on about? No, no, I'll go pillion. And also, this

wouldn't move at all with the sack of spuds on the back, so I'll go on the

Insult's over. I'll show them what this sack of spuds can do.

Or at least I would, if I could get this thing over 35.

That is lovely, man. We've got two runners to sell.

Oh, this is great. I'm loving it. Apart from Alan's fumes.

Yes, he does look like a German spy.

No, the Veleset was famous for being a police bike.

Its porte was its quiet running, rather than its lightning speed.

Good news for us is they both work. And even better, we may have a punter.

Chopper Roy said he'd come over at some point today.

You never know, might be able to flog one or both of them to him.

Yeah. Well, if you're going to sell one, sell him the other one.

An hour later, we're back at base with local dealer, Chopper Roy.

I wonder how many times you and I have walked up this gravel to an item.

More than I've got fingers. Yeah, probably.

All right, lad.

Both bikes are early models in similar spec, but Roy knows his mind and his

customers.

I want that one.

He wants that one. He wants that one. That's the oldest one.

£13 .50 for that.

£11 .00. We need a little bit more than that.

£12 .00 at least, it's a vintage balisat.

You've been ganged up on here. Yeah.

Triple handshake?

£12 .00 we do, £12 .00. Sorry, we're saying £12 .00? Yeah.

Got it. Nice little tickle, then. Okay, see how you get on with that. Yeah. And

then I might treat you to 706.

For £1 ,500.

I've probably never seen a German pie, but all I do know is...

If I was dreaming about a German spy, you would have been that person.

Hey, look, let's stop digressing and talk about simple resto.

Anything that you get in the shed, what are the first principles of trying to

get it going?

For me, it's always make sure you get a spark.

But it amazes me, you never need a manual for any vehicle. We've had really

ancient tractors with 1912 cars.

Because I guess they all do the same basic thing.

Eighth of an inch before top dead center will run most engines. If you feel some

compression, you get the right place, go back eighth of an inch, and there's

points to be just opening.

If they're not, make them open.

I don't know whether any of you lot have been following that, but I was

completely lost when he talked about batteries or something. I had no idea

was going on.

All I do know is the first thing that Alan tries to get when he gets a

motorcycle into the shed for the first time is a spark.

What kind of spark?

Please, answers on the postcard. But as far as I'm concerned, if it's sparking,

it's definitely worth putting fuel in, right?

Yeah, definitely. Also, the spark needs to be the right type of spark.

Sometimes a spark plug won't spark under compression because there's not enough

electricity. But we got them both going. We did. One was slightly better than

the other one.

Hey, well, look, join us after the break when, hey, it's auction time.

Welcome back to part two.

Now then, auctioning. One of my favourite auctions is H .J.

Pugh's down in Ledbury.

I'll tell you why, because the tea's pretty good.

He always has good stuff as well. Yeah, but the one thing in this occasion, I

went on my own.

Why weren't you two?

I think I was at a show.

I can't remember where I was, but I was a bit worried that you were going on

your own, and I thought, it'll be seized, he won't check it out, it'll

pretty, but it'll be a disaster.

That's what I thought. You're washing hair, aren't you?

No, no, that's only once a month, Al. Yeah, he doesn't know.

Oh, I didn't have you know.

Wash mine on a daily basis.

Well, you have to with highlights.

I do not.

Dye my hair.

That's one of the main reasons, because it gives me grief the whole time, that I

did actually go to H .J. Pew's on my own to find myself something rather nice

where someone's not giving me grief in my ear that I shouldn't buy it.

H .J. Pew's is one of the biggest auctioneers in Herefordshire. Their meat

drink is antiques and agricultural.

But today, they're selling 585 lots of automobiles and automobilia.

The problem is, though this place may look half -empty, in fact it's busier

ever, because for the really nice items, many bids are online.

The only advantage for the punter on the spot is they can take a proper look at

the goods, so with that in mind, I'm going to pop next door to look at a car.

So this is a Series 1 Morris 8 project.

Obviously there is work to be done. All I do know is it looks quite cool.

And I'll tell you what, if it was about £3 ,000, I reckon there's a little bit

of SPQR in it.

The Morris 8 was Britain's answer to the Model T Ford.

Budget motoring for the masses.

Over 150 ,000 were made, but not many remain.

Well, I don't know, cursory look.

I think it don't look too bad.

I think at auctions sometimes, especially if you're on your own, you've

take a risk, haven't you? Half an hour later, it comes under the hammer.

I get really nervous.

I'm nervous now, pumping.

Heart pumping.

He's starting low.

A classic trick to lure you in.

That's me in business.

2 -8 online.

2 -8 online I've got. 3 -2. 3 -2 bid.

3 -2. 3 -4.

3 -6. 3 -6 bid there.

3 -8.

3 -8.

I'm about to check out in a minute. 4 ,000 pounds.

What a project for you. 4 ,000 pounds soon.

That's it. 4 -2 and I'm out.

Anybody else?

Going.

Going. To me, to me, to me.

Vanguard.

281, the buyer.

Hey, man, am I happy with that? 4 ,200?

I said I'd come out at 4 ,000.

But I do think we've got a fabulous project there.

Now, back at the ranch, I'm showing off for spoils.

Now, it said projects, but I don't think so. Now, I hope you like this.

Now, when people talk about a project, usually they mean a wreck with

aspirations. This Morris is anything but.

It's amazing. I do know the battery's new, right, because I met Nigel after,

Nigel owned this car, and I thought he was going to come up to me and say, best

of luck.

But he didn't at all. He said he called it a project because he'd done

everything on it, wheels, brakes,

engine, whatever.

Yeah. But he said, I'm so sorry, I got bored and didn't actually do the

interior. It's lovely.

It's absolutely lovely.

Something that should be kept as is.

Yeah.

So without more ado... Cheers. Cheers, mate.

Yeah.

We'll get Millie under the bonnet while we drink tea.

Oh, that goes there.

That's the feed to the petrol pump.

From the looks of it, though, all Alan has to do is connect everything up and

make some basic checks.

I think once Millie's done his penny work, we might be in business.

What surprises me is a lot of people, I've seen this quite often, they spend

much money and time getting something almost finished and then sell it.

If I got a car to this stage, I'd want to finish it and drive it.

I've often been in that situation where I've cleaned something up and all that

kind of thing, and then something else turns up, and I think, oh, that's much

nicer. Let's just get rid of the project that I'm working on. Do you know what I

mean?

No staying power.

Story of my life, baby.

Oh, yeah, we've got to pump. We'll put petrol in it and actually stop pumping.

Well,

that's for theory.

Let's see what happens when we add some fuel.

How old is them?

There we go. There we go. Slowing. Changed. Slow.

We've got a minor bit of leakage.

Where? On the banjo to the carburettor. This one's tightening up. What?

A banjo, in case you're interested, is not an irritating five -stringed

instrument, but a high -pressure fitting.

We'll tighten this up and it just pops straight away.

Job done.

Alan turns the key.

Ignition on.

I tickle the carb.

Yeah, yeah, we're on. Off you go, mate. Choke out.

Yeah, choke out.

Mate!

How about that?

First crack.

What a bargain.

Sounds lovely as well. Check that tick over out.

You got a bargain.

I'll tell you what, Nigel, the last owner, if you're watching, mate, cheers,

pal.

But the real excitement of the day is our trip out in the Morris 8.

We're just picking up the revs now, Al.

Nice aroma coming through from the engine as well.

Sort of smells of old car, or is that overheating? I think so.

This is more fun than an aftermarket car. Oh God, without a doubt.

Because you're actually driving it, you're not just sitting in it.

That ride out was just endearing, wasn't it? And it was charming, wasn't it?

Yeah. Lovely little thing. What did you say?

I'd rather be in this than Aston Martin or something.

It's lovely.

It's like tranquil and nice.

You feel like you've achieved something getting somewhere even if it's only two

miles away. And you're only doing 40 miles an hour. It felt like 100 miles an

hour. I've got to tell you, though, that is what it's all about, isn't it? When

you're sort of contemplating getting into classic vehicles and all that kind

stuff, you can spend about four grand on that Morris 8.

You can then...

instigate a whole community of potential new friends and relationships with

people. Yeah. And just driving six miles to a local cafe is in a day's out.

Absolutely. And also, with those historic vehicles, the road tax is free,

there's no MOT, you just make it roadworthy, get cheap classic vehicle

insurance, and off you go and have fun.

Yeah. Now, at this point in the show, normally...

We produced an item or a tool or something like that.

And you've got to guess, obviously, what it is. And we'll tell you after the

break. This time, though, I thought we'd do something else, which is that.

Okay.

Now, that is a remote control helicopter. Does it come with a dustpan?

Others have in the past, I have to say. But I just thought we'd get one out.

I've never flown this, right?

I'll put the batteries in, and I think it could be quite a giggle. Hey, when we

come back, hey, we'll give the chopper a go. Mmm.

Welcome back to Junk and Disorderly Best Bits.

I've suddenly got a little bit nervous and thought perhaps I shouldn't have

actually entertained this idea at all. I think you should have your helmet on in

case you crash it into yourself.

Okay,

we're going to spark it up, right?

Oh, that's good.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, look, lads, look at that.

That is hovering.

That is amazingly round.

Oh, I'm on the cup.

That way.

Oh!

It's the right way up. It's the right way up. I haven't actually broken

on it. It was kind of a sort of a relatively good landing.

Hey, look, we're digressing here.

What's next up? I know, another auction.

It's a local institution, a Monday night extravaganza, where you could buy

everything from a trimmer to an ornamental giraffe.

The bad news is, is Alan isn't with us tonight.

There's some more bad news as well.

My son's here.

Charlie's an auction virgin, but what better place to pop your cherry than

Tewksbury? Before we get into any bidding, we'll survey the dock and give

Charlie an aptitude test.

Now, Charlie, after all your shed dwelling and growing up with me... Yeah.

What's that?

It's a chopper bicycle.

Not bad.

Mark two.

OK, I was going to ask him that, but anyway, he said that without moving his

head. OK, so we've got a mark two chopper bicycle here.

Correct me if I'm wrong. Yes? These are worth quite a bit, aren't they?

You can't... Don't play that at an auction. No.

The chopper's a classic, so everyone knows their value.

But they've also got one -offs like these custom racing cars and this

Curio.

It's a fax. Yeah. Made in Austria, I think. It's quite funky, isn't it? So to

me, that just looks like a death trap.

I think that'll be quite expensive.

As well as all the motorbikes and the other big items, there are cans,

and all sorts of automotive bric -a -brac. They've even got an elephant in

room.

I think in a minute, the auction's about to start. Now, obviously, we haven't

shown you everything, and we haven't seen everything. And you never know,

might just pop up.

Such as this. It's a theft.

Could be very useful for painting and other things various.

There you go, we've got 40, 40 access steps again.

And seven, eight.

Like Finlay the auctioneer. The bids are going up and up.

But under 50, and it'll be worth it.

Do

you

want a happy day?

Do you mind if I rent it for a minute, sir?

32 quid a minute.

After that flying start, it's Skid's turn to get his hand up.

There's plenty of bikes here.

Seven. Hey, got seven pound here, got eights anywhere, got seven pound looking

for eight.

Have we bought two? Yeah. Those two vintage bikes.

They're £3 .50 each. I mean, we cannot lose.

I think you should bid next time. OK, come on then.

The next lots are all inside.

But what is Charlie going to take a shot at?

I like the vodka sign.

For your party?

Yes.

Worth it for a few quid, but asking price 200?

No chance.

Hold it.

£200, only one.

£150. Wait, wait.

£80. Wait.

£85, £85, £85. Go on, go up a bit.

£95, £95.

Go to £150.

Go on.

£105, £110, £110, £115, £115, £120, £120.

This is not going to be a skid -style bargain.

Clearly, liquor signs are more in demand than vintage bicycles.

Go figure.

And the vodka sign

is not the only big attraction.

Back in 1973, choppers sold for 34 quid. Now only us old fellows can afford

them, and they go for thousands.

840, 840, 850, 860.

860, 870, 870 anywhere. Last chance now.

Calling it.

860. That's 50 quid commission, so that's 910.

We will move on.

There is one compensation, though.

They've got a BMX bike, which someone stuck an engine onto.

Let's see how this goes. I quite like it. I'll get a 250.

Seems like I'm not the only one who fancies a BMX on steroids.

250 is me top, but maybe I'll get it for a little less.

Lovely job, love. A milliard will love it.

So, what an evening. Some depth, two budget bicycles, a souped -up BMX, and

a beekeeping outfit I picked up at the end for 20 quid.

That's the joy of auctions, Matt.

You never know what you're going to get conned into buying.

I was feeling insecure without my hat. Do you know what I mean?

Yes.

Now then.

Tewkesbury Auction. Now, that is a place.

Now, you lost your auction cherry there as well, didn't you? I did. I bought

some files.

They're really good files, but no one seemed to want to buy them.

I think Charlie was kind of a bit blown away by it.

It was a catch you're unaware of because it all happened so fast. Mate, it's so

fast, especially with that Finlay. He was really quick, you know. Now, look,

come on, let's talk about a good deal, shall we? Mm -hmm. Seven quid for two

bicycles. That's an absolute bargain. Oh, absolutely, chuff, because they're

nice, classic bikes. They needed fixing up, but not that much. I remember.

They didn't have a special saddlebag on one of them. Yes, it had a Nelson

Caradis long flap.

Highly desirable.

Well, the flap's doubled back on itself, so if you unclip it, it goes really

high, and you can get your waterproofs in as well.

Oh, it's a long flap.

Well, I've got two. I bet you have. One green, one black. You do have a bicycle

skill. I started off on bicycles. That's when my love of motorbikes came. Yeah,

yeah. But it all started with bicycles, and I've never lost that passion.

Yeah, and also, that chopper, 860 quid for a Mark II plus commissions.

That was...

I was going to say money well spent, but I think it was a little over the top,

though. Oh, do you think? I thought they go for, like, up to 1 ,300 or more.

Well, they do, but it's all based on condition and originality. Yeah, also,

three people want it, the bids are going to go up anyway.

As a typical example at an auction, you've got two people wanting it. And so

you're going to go up a couple of hundred quid more than perhaps you

thought you would in the first place. And especially with those, they're a

passion buy. Those people wanted them because they probably had one or didn't

have one when they were young. And they don't care if they pay over the odds.

They're not going to sell it. They just want one. And if they have to pay 200

quid more than it's worth, they might not care.

Hey, so we've got ourselves a couple of bicycles for seven quid. And we've got

ourselves a BMX bike with an engine in it. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, time for restoration, I guess.

Next day, we show Alan the loot.

Oh, my God.

Now, look, Al, I couldn't resist it.

That is very strange.

It was cheap. I think we can make a little return on it at the jumble. Hang

I've got a problem here.

Filter T?

Right, that's it, I'm taking it off.

I mean, if you can't have T, what is the point?

You know what I mean?

But BMX, I hope, won't be so awkward. That is quite funky.

I'm sure we can get it running. It's an 80cc Chinese clip -on bicycle engine.

It'd be quite frisky to ride, I think.

Guy's purchases here, they were seven quid the pair.

I think, percentage -wise, they're going to be our biggest profit ever. Not

monetary terms, but percentage.

We'll start then with our £3 .50 bicycles.

I think all we've got to do is... Take that off and sell it separately, the

and try and get the tyres pumped up and then rideable, and then I think we're

done. So before you can say Chris Hoy, we pump up the tyres.

Yeah, that's going up, is it?

Remove the rusty chain and strip the pannier off the rack.

Alan refits and lubricates the chain.

Skid puts the front wheel back on.

I deal with the rack, and then we move into the shed for our much bigger

challenge, the Mad Max BMX.

You look serious.

You look slightly confused, and I don't know where to look. I feel serious too.

Do you why?

Well, just because we're getting involved. Side cutters, rolling road,

got a clip -back wiring.

First problem, it won't start.

Basically, the wiring's been cut at some point, so he's dissected all this

wiring. 200 quid well spent, finally. Oh, absolutely.

Absolute steal.

While we get depressed, Alan gets on with it.

He attaches the wires, and we put it on the roller starter.

No spark at all. Nothing. That obviously isn't right, so I'm going to take off

all this electrical tape, see what's going on.

There's more tape than Abbey Road recording studios, but getting rid of it

be a breakthrough.

I removed a bit of redundant wiring.

Bloody hell, this looks like most of it. Just a little bit. So hopefully now it

might spark.

Isn't it strange?

You remove a load of wiring and it might fix it. I know, isn't that weird? Yeah.

Right, take two. Are you ready?

Three, two, one.

Really good spark.

That was a deep purple spark as well. Deep purple is the best kind of spark

can have. Yeah.

My woman from Tokyo.

I'd go for lazy, would you? For deep purple. Oh, OK, probably. Either will

And on that heavy metal note, we fuel it up and prepare for a full test.

Yep.

Yes! Yes!

There might be as much smoke in the shed as there was on the water, but it's a

runner. It works.

Oh, man, that is fantastic. Just...

Drink it in, boys. That sounds really powerful. It sounds quite terrifying.

That sounds fast.

So now, look, right, we have drawn short straws.

Alan's riding it.

Half an hour later, we relocate to the test track, a .k .a. my drive.

Are you ready for this? I think so. I'm actually quite excited.

Are you? Yeah, I think this could be more powerful than we think.

I think it just might be. I'm excited to see it go. Same here. All right, okay.

Here we go then, Al. Prepare yourself for your ride of a life.

All I'm going to do is pedal it fast and dump the clutch and see what happens.

All right.

Oh, the hand is awful.

He's up.

I can't believe it. He looks well cool from behind. Oh, my God, he's in

Whoa.

In fact, having survived the first hundred yards, Alan seems to master it,

that's the correct term.

Right now, this thing is not usable on a public road, but we've got it going,

and it could be a great project for someone out there to take to the next

Can we talk about fear?

Right? There is a saying that fear is temporary, regret is permanent, right?

Now, when you're getting on to the unknown, shall we say, are you nervous,

really genuinely, on that bike? Sort of nervous and excited, really, because

it's a new challenge. You get on the bike, you've got to feel it and try and

work out what's going on, what's not going on that should go on, that didn't

on. Can I just say here, I think Al has less nerves than most people. It's like

Jekyll and Hyde, he's a completely different person. He's so meek and mild

normally, aren't you, Al? And then an engine starts, and you go for a world

speed record on something lethal.

You might get nervous, but it doesn't show.

Hey, but I think that's the fun of it as well. You get a contraption that you

never ever thought you'd ever have the chance of riding or driving.

But you look so happy.

Took all my concentration just to keep it going straight.

The slightest input is like this, and it's like that.

I think it's the happiest I've ever seen, Al, though, that was.

Hey, look, so we've got everything prepped up. All we've got to do now,

come back, is go to the jumble.

Hey, welcome back.

Now then, jumbling, here we come.

Now, where are we going?

Newbury. Oh, Newbury.

Now, that deprives me sometimes, because I'm thinking, if it's a show, they go

on longer.

You know, because people are there for the day. A jumble's done by one o

If you're going to a show, you've got to be there all day, and also...

Historically, we've not done too well. People aren't expecting to come and buy

stuff. They're there to look at stuff.

I do completely agree, but at the same time, it's all about the stock that

you've got.

But anyway, Newbury Show, I've been there before and I thought it was going

be quite good.

So after all our buying and restoring, the time has come to take our wares to

market. But I'm a bit Norman Nervous.

All right, so, ten past ten. The show has been open for 11 minutes, and we

taken... two quid.

And if our first punters are anything to go by, we could be very late.

You need to take your pants off.

Let me have a look.

£7 .50 for that one, £100 for that one.

I want one that I can fill up.

Right, I'm just testing it out.

Even when I demonstrate the beauty of our Mark II chopper, no one's impressed.

Oh, I'm feeling unusual.

I paid £7 .50 for it, but the only punter interested wants it for less.

What's the deal then?

£600.

No.

I'll never think. OK, mate, see you in a bit. All right.

Have we sold anything?

July's Dalesman of the Month doesn't do much better.

How much? A pound!

Thank you.

He did sell it very well. Did he? I bet he did.

Hang on, hang on, we might have a sale further down.

You alright, mate? Yeah, tenner!

Yeah, go on then.

There you are. You see?

That's how you do it. Lose money just like that. But at least there's cash

coming in. I think it's still full of oil as well. Is it? Yeah. 15.

All the time, the place is filling up with classic cars, ranging from pristine

Morris Minor convertibles to curvaceous Ford Capris and vintage Vauxhalls.

And though the crowds are coming in...

And our store is getting a lot of attention.

No one's getting their wallet out.

In desperation, I turn travelling salesman.

OK, if no one's coming to us, I'm going to them. So, look, I've got my

beekeeping outfit, right? And there's someone down here, I've been told, who

sells honey.

Hello.

Hello. You don't want a beekeeping outfit, do you? No, I don't.

Are you sure? Look, it's right here.

No? Honestly, 20 quid, it's yours.

Thank you. No, no. I thought you were going to be the perfect punters.

Yeah.

Make no mistake, everyone is lovely. I get free cakes.

Can I have that one? Yes. It looks really... I made that. Looks a load.

That's my own hand.

Here. Lemon.

Lemon curd.

Mmm.

Cuddles with dogs.

He's lovely, yes.

Murphy. Murphy, you're a legend.

And people even sell me things to raise money for good causes.

Here's a tenner for charity.

And you're very sweet, mate. Thank you for bringing that to us.

But our stall is more Poundland than Peter Jones.

When I do sell the big things, it's way off what I wanted, like my Mark II

chopper.

Go on, then. What's the bid, then, on it?

400.

Oh, 450.

No. £400.

Please, just... Please. I'm sorry. We're very depressed now.

But at the same time, you're going to be very happy, aren't you?

Yeah, and that's what matters.

I think I might have made an error. Why?

I've just seen a bike disappear.

The orange chopper... Yep.

...was £750 at auction.

Right. Here we go.

£400.

That means we've got to sell a lot today.

A lot of paper cap, two pounds.

Yeah, well, I'm going to go and lie down.

We're going to be lucky here, Alan, if we break even.

I think so, yeah, definitely.

Even the radio I bought for charity gets haggled over.

Hi. Come on, 50 quid for that.

50 quid? Yeah, how much did we buy it for?

Tenner.

Tenner.

Tenner. Fifteen.

Come on, it's just handling charge.

What do you mean nine? I'll give you nine quid for it.

I don't even need it. I've got a radio, but it'd just be nice to have, wouldn't

it? Do you know what? Give me a tenner for it, then, that I pay for it. I'll

tell you what. What? I'll give a tenner to the blood cancer charity if I can

take it off your hands.

It's not going particularly well today.

Eventually, sales do pick up. We shift our castrol toolbox.

We're taking a hit on it. Yeah.

A bright pink petrol can for 40 quid.

A pack of vintage light bulbs.

You sold six bulbs for three quid, and I'm supposed to be happy.

He was really pleased.

I bet he was.

But we're selling so much at less than cost, or for a very low margin, that by

lunch, we shut up shop.

OK, Newbury show was a disaster, but to keep our peckers up...

Hey, we've got some other friends in the house.

There's Jelly Bean with a treat. Look, there you go, Jelly.

That's nice.

Jelly Tot.

Tot! Jelly Tot, come here.

Come here.

We have a new addition to the family, which is the Tot. And they're getting on

quite well.

Yeah, look at that. Here.

So, look, Jelly Tot is... I think she's in her 11th week.

Right, OK. So, look, you can go and play with each other.

Newbury Show.

It was a disaster, wasn't it? It was. And do you know what? Really? I think we

should learn from that. Why? I think we should have held on to some of the stuff

for another jumble. We wanted to take money on the day, so we really did sell

too cheap, in my opinion.

A chopper bicycle is a prime example.

Because they are popular, it was just the wrong place for it. So the right

place, right time does come in here.

Yeah, I know.

I know.

And I don't know what came over me that day, but I just started telling stuff. I

didn't exactly get angry.

No. But I got frustrated.

Do you know what I mean?

You just wanted some money to come in, didn't you? Yeah, exactly. It's just

turnover, isn't it? We made, what, 130 quid? Not if you keep losing over 300

quid on a bicycle. You can't keep it rolling then. But at the end of the day,

man, we still had a bit of a giggle. Well, we made 130... Oh, we didn't make

quid at all, did we?

£85. £40 a charity and a tenner for a radio or something.

That's not much each half to do, is it?

£85.

Well, you live and learn.

Hey, I hope you enjoyed our little adventure to Newbury... Look, there's

fighting going on.

It's not fighting, it's playing. It's playing, but I mean, that is upside

Yeah, look at that.

That means he's surrendering. Yeah.

The other thing is, I've taken my boots off, and that... little monster of Jelly

Tot will have my feet. I promise you. Hey, look, I hope you enjoyed our little

adventure to the Newbury Classic Car Show.

Join us again very shortly, I'm sure, for another dose of junk and disorderly

best bits.

Ow, my foot!