Original subtitles

Oh, this is so boss, Honey mustard.

Only two days Until the prom.

I know, pickle relish.

It's going to be The greatest--

[coughing]

The greatest--

Ah...Ah...

Ah-choo!

The greatest--

[clearing throat]

Prom ever.

Laura, I rented us A limo for prom night.

To impress me?

No. So I can keep My arm around you

Instead of That steering wheel.

Good plan.

Well, nice job, people.

It's great.

You mean, the banner, The flowers, Or the gazebo?

None of the above.

It's great I didn't have to Do any of the work.

Urkel, a word, please.

The v.P. Wants To speak with me?

Well,

What can I do For you, sir?

Urkel, remember The school dance

Where you set off The sprinkler system And soaked everybody?

Yeah.

What's your point?

It might be A good idea if you Skip the prom.

Me?

Miss my prom?

The same guy Who's never missed

Even one day of school In four years?

Don't remind me.

The same guy who Came up with the slogan For detention--

"Don't do bad things."

What if I Offered you $100?

100? No, sir!

No way will I miss My senior prom.

Besides, that was The steve urkel Of yesteryear.

These days, I do not screw up.

Well, at least No one was hurt.

Not yet! Not yet!

Whoa!

Hey, mom. Hey, dad.

Oh, eddie. Looking...

Loud.

Thanks, mom.

Son, you got a hot date?

Yeah, but my pockets Are singing the blues.

Heh heh. Oh.

Well, will $20 Shut 'em up?

Yeah!

Okay.

Here's 10. Let 'em hum.

Gee, thanks, dad.

You're nearly the best.

[knock on door]

Hiya, kid. Nick neidermeyer.

Heh heh heh...

Hey, guys! Long time no see.

Not long Enough. Not long Enough.

Hey, come on.

Forgive and forget A little, huh?

Heh heh...

Forget what?

Nick used to be My boss.

And then I let him In my poker game,

And he was so obnoxious,

I had shove a pie in his face And throw him out on his butt.

Look, dad, if there's going to Be another fight, I'm outta here.

I'm in My good clothes.

Nice kid.

What, does he work In a circus?

Nick, I told you I never wanted to See you again.

Believe me, The feeling is mutual,

But something happened That's going to make That impossible.

Oh, really? What?

I bought the house Next door.

What? What?

Put 'er there, Neighbor!

Too slow!

Oh, that's Very funny, nick.

Yeah, we're going to Have a lot of laughs, Carl.

Yeah.

But I want to be A good neighbor.

I'm glad to hear that.

That's why I'm giving You ample warning About your fence.

My fence?

Yeah.

It's on my property.

What are you Talking about?

I had a surveyor Come out.

Seems your fence Is exactly 18 1/2 inches Over the property line.

No way.

Way.

Going to have to Move it, pally.

Wait a minute.

You expect me To move a fence

That's been up For 15 years

Because it's 18 1/2 inches On your property?

That is asinine.

Well, hey, I'm a reasonable man.

You don't have to Do it right away.

Wait until tomorrow. Ha ha ha...

I'm not moving my fence.

So you want to Play hardball, eh?

That's right.

Look, ace...

I've got plans To build a barbecue,

And your fence Is in the way.

Chicks dig guys Who barbecue...

Especially When they barbecue Wearing only an apron.

I didn't need to Hear that part, Nick.

Yeah? Well, listen To this part--

Move your fence, Or I'll move it For you.

Uh...Uh...

You know... You know?

Oh, yeah. I know.

Whew.

Have you ever seen The hair salon So crowded?

Happens every year The day of the prom.

Hey, did you see Them working on Dora fenswick?

She didn't need A hair stylist.

She needed A fairy godmother.

Alright.

[knock on door]

Curtis.

Hi, laura.

What's wrong?

Um, I don't know How to say this,

So I'll just say it Straight out.

I'm not gonna be able To take you to the prom.

Curtis, I've been Waiting for this night My whole life.

I got my hair done, my nails. I bought a new dress

And now you say You can't take me?

That's right.

Well, I wanna Know the reason why?

And listen-- There better be

A dead relative In your excuse.

My grandmother died.

[gasp]

Oh, curtis, I'm sorry.

That's okay.

I'm so sorry. Please forgive me.

That's okay.

No, it's not. I'm a cold, Thoughtless person.

The family's flying To washington For the funeral.

Can't you wait a day-- Oh, of course you can't.

I-I'm sorry.

I'm so--I'm a cold, Thoughtless person.

No, you're not. Look, you're Disappointed

And I don't blame you.

I'm sorry.

I'll call you Next week?

Poor curtis.

Yeah. And poor you.

You're going to Miss your prom.

Maybe not.

There's got to be Some guy who doesn't Have a date.

[whimpering]

Steve, are you okay?

What's the matter, baby? You eat some bad Cheese again?

No.

It's myra.

Her cold got worse.

Her temperature shot up,

And she tossed more cookies Than the keebler elf.

I rushed her to The emergency room,

And the doctor Says she's got Walking pneumonia.

Will she be okay?

In about a week or so.

But she's going to Have to miss the prom.

Waaah!

Oh, ho ho, This is amazing.

You know, laura Doesn't have a date For the prom either.

I guess you guys are gonna have To go have to go together.

Bye.

[hysterical Laughter]

Laura, This is our prom,

Our one and only Senior prom.

I mean, Think about it--

Why shouldn't We go together?

Wait a minute.

I just thought Of another choice.

What? What?

You could Turn into stefan.

I'd love to go With him.

Yeah.

Great idea.

Tell you what? I'll be back In a jif.

No.

No?

No.

This is my prom...

Not stefan's.

Stefan didn't go To vanderbilt high For four years.

I did.

Stefan Wasn't captain Of the chess team...

Or president and Only member of The cheese club.

I was.

Tonight's my night,

And I'm going To the prom

Even if I have to go All by my lonesome.

Steve, wait.

I'll go with you.

Oh...Alright!

Under two conditions.

Oh, name 'em, baby.

First, I go with you When you pick up Your tux.

Done. Numero dos.

I want Your solemn promise

That you won't bump, Break, or destroy Anything at the prom.

I promise...

I'll try.

Let's go pick up That tux.

Oh, laura,

You make me The happiest--

We're not at the prom yet.

Yyesss!

* oh, yeah *

* just comin'... *

* oh, yeah, yeah *

* we got it *

* we got it *

* well, it's The mac of the year *

* in your ear With the flavor You been waitin' for *

* with taste in your face, Don't take it personal *

* four deep, we gonna Creep fo' the street *

* so, batman And romeo and ldb *

* throw your hands In the air *

* put the bounce In your body *

* microphone check, Now, scream la-de-da-de *

* ain't no party Like an immature party *

* give ya props *

* 'cause ya love What they got *

* baby, if you Want my time *

* what you want? *

* just come and feel The flavor *

* don't you wanna Feel the funk? **

Hey, everyone!

Laura winslow's date Is steve urkel.

[gasp] [gasp]

And--get this-- Urkel's tuxedo fits!

[gasp] [gasp]

[gasp] [gasp]

Steve...

Everyone gasped.

Of course.

You're so beautiful, You take their Breath away.

Is it my imagination,

Or is your voice lower?

Yeah.

I think It's because these Pants are so loose.

[music plays]

Ooh, laura, You look beautiful.

Thanks. So do you, max.

Guess what, steve rented us A limo for the night.

I rented a limo Station wagon.

Just had to Drop some dead guy Off at the graveyard.

So, was there a line To get your pictures taken?

Yeah, but it was Moving kinda fast.

Hey, why don't we trot Over there and See what develops.

Hee hee hee...

Now, there's An accident Waiting to happen.

[banging]

Howdy, neighbor.

Beautiful night.

What are you doing?

What's it look like? I'm tearing down Your fence.

You think I'm just Going to stand here And let you do that?

Well, that's What you're doing.

Ha ha ha...

Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

Take your time, Pajama boy.

Hoo hoo hoo...

[engine revving]

What are you doing?

I'm going to Trim my tree.

It's not your tree, It's my tree.

Not the part That hangs in my yard.

You wouldn't.

You watch me.

That does it!

Alright, pal.

Let's settle this Right now.

You want A piece of me?

Yeah. Alright.

Come on. Come on!

Come on, Oh, yeah...

I got to warn you--

I'm a cop And I got a black belt.

In what, Eating doughnuts?

I'll tell you Something--

Tell me what?

[arguing]

Stop it, you two!

Bug out Or you're next!

I said stop it!

What is Going on here?

He tried to hurt My fence.

He was gonna hurt My tree.

You're both acting Like children.

Well, he started it.

Did not. Did too. Did not. Did too.

Hey, hey!

I'm ashamed of you.

Nick, you never Even tried to be A good neighbor.

On the first day you're Stormed over here Making demands.

I waited an hour.

Next time Something's On your mind,

Try discussing it Like a gentleman Instead of like a jerk

You tell him, Harriette.

Shut up, carl.

You're just as bad.

Instead of trying to Solve the problem, You escalated it.

Like it or not, Nick is our neighbor,

And you two had better Learn to get along.

Well...

She's right, Nick.

We should try To get along.

I'll tell you what.

I'll not only Move my fence,

I'll help you build Your barbecue.

Winslow, that's Real decent of you.

I want to try to be A good neighbor.

Of course You do...

After your wifey Made you.

What?

My god.

Who's the boss In this family anyway?

You see these winslow? These are pants.

Try wearing them Sometime.

Yes, dear. Right, dear.

Whatever you say, Dear.

What a load of manure.

No, nick.

It's not a load Of manure.

That's a load of manure.

This isn't over.

This is just The beginning.

You know?

See now?

Yeah. I know.

Whew. I can use Some fresh air.

Outside would probably Be the best place For that.

What a gorgeous Night.

Glad you like it.

I ordered it special Just for you.

Laura,

There's no doubt About it.

You're the most Beautiful girl here At the prom.

Thanks, steve.

And you're The most...

Improved guy At the prom.

Steve, can I Tell you something?

My fly's open. I knew it.

No.

I just want to say That I'm very Proud of you.

You haven't caused One single disaster All night.

Well, I am on My best behavior.

I'd hate to ruin Such an important Evening.

Laura...

Want to know a secret?

Sure.

Even though I'm going Steady with myra,

I've always dreamed Of going to the prom With you.

I know.

You asked me When we were 6.

I didn't want to wait Till the last minute.

Steve...

I always fantasized About what my prom Night would be like.

Ooh. Fantasize.

I pictured A handsome date

Dressed in A gorgeous tuxedo.

Oh.

Then he'd pick me up In a limousine,

And we'd dance The night away,

And it'd be The best time Of my entire life.

That's a nice fantasy.

Well, it's not a fantasy 'cause you made it all Come true.

I did?

There's only one thing Keeping this form being A perfect night.

Well, what's that?

This.

* in your ear With the flavor You been waitin' for *

* with taste in your face, Don't take it personal *

* four deep, we gonna Creep fo' the street *

* so, batman And romeo and ldb *

* throw your hands In the air *

* put the bounce In your body *

* microphone check, Now, scream la-de-da-de *

* ain't no party Like an immature party *

* give ya props *

* 'cause ya love What they got *

* baby, if you Want my time *

* what you want? *

* just come and feel The flavor *

* just feel the flavor **