Original subtitles

[humming]

Oh. Hidey-ho, Tip top cop.

Hello, steve.

Behold... My latest invention.

Oh, that's nice.

Now get it out of here.

Wait. Don't you at least Want to know what it is?

Get rid of it, then Send me a brochure.

Oh, you. Feast your eyes

On the future of Living room relaxation.

You've heard Of the lazy boy.

This...Is the slug boy.

Steve, please.

I've had a hard day.

I'm in no mood For this nonsense.

Well, then put your tushie In this cushie.

Hey, it is kind Of comfy.

Comfy's nice, But convenience is What we're aiming for.

Convenience?

That's right.

Carl, you are Literally sitting

In your very own Concession stand.

You don't say.

Located conveniently Along the left armrest

Is your very own Handy-dandy popcorn Dispenser.

It's empty.

Oh, sure...Now,

But observe.

[motor whirring]

Steve, this chair's Getting warmer.

Oh, that means It's working.

[hiss]

Wow!

Mmm, buttery, too!

And melted by the heat Of your very own body.

How appetizing.

Steve, I'm getting thirsty.

This chair have Anything to drink?

Ah!

Voila!

Cola, root beer, Lemonade, iced tea, And buttermilk.

Iced tea.

Oh, excellent choice.

Mmm, tangy!

Steve, you know, I got to hand it To you.

The slug boy Is a winner.

Oh, thank you, thank you, Thank you, thank you.

Hey...You know, Steve...

The chair is Getting warmer.

It's supposed to.

Steve, now It's vibrating.

Supposed to.

Now it's smoking!

Not supposed to.

Well...

At least no one was hurt.

Not yet.

Get out of here!

Out! Get out!

Hey, everybody.

Hi, laura. Sorry I'm late.

I had to meet max At the library So we could study.

Oh. I hope You're hungry.

I made Squid pot pies.

For some reason, There's a lot Left over.

Want one?

Oh, um...

I'm kind of tired.

I think I'll go Upstairs and take A hot shower.

Wait, laura. A letter Came for you today.

From harvard?

Yup!

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

Oh, my god.

What's The big deal?

It's just A letter.

Rich, it's A very important letter.

Laura finds out if She's been accepted To harvard university.

Oh, my god!

I been waiting for This letter for months.

Now that it's here, I'm afraid to open it.

If you guys don't mind,

I'd like to read this In private.

We understand Perfectly.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

I got accepted.

Man, you couldn't Catch the ball

If your hands Were covered With super glue.

Yeah? Well, Your mama can't dance,

And your daddy Don't rock 'n' roll.

Hold it, hold it!

Alright, alright, Alright!

The score's 9-8.

And for those who Are mathematically Challenged,

That means we're Winning by one basket.

Let's do this. Come on.

Alright. Tie game, Spider.

Not for long.

Come on, let's go.

What you gonna do?

Hey, hey, hey! Come on, come on!

Now, walk the walk.

Let's go. Walk the walk!

Go, waldo!

Thanks, dufus.

Hey, the name's Waldo!

Dufus is my cousin.

Man, waldo, how could You trip like that?

It's called losing Your balance. Duh!

Hey, are you guys Mad at me just 'cause I tripped?

Waldo, look, you're Too uncoordinated.

You fall down, You can't dribble, You can't pass,

And you haven't Made a basket since I've known you.

So, what's Your point?

The point is, We take these Games seriously.

Look, if you don't Get a lot better,

You can't play With us anymore.

Come on, steve.

Come in.

Hiya, phil.

Hey, carl!

Good to see you.

Good to See you, too.

Hey, grab a seat.

Thanks for seeing me During your lunch hour.

Hey, no problem. Want my pickle?

Oh, no, thank you.

I just scarfed down A corn dog.

What can I do for you?

Phil, my daughter Has been accepted To harvard university.

Laura?

That little girl Who sat on my desk

While I made her Out a pretend check For $1 million?

That's right.

Now I need A real one.

How much you Looking to borrow?

Phil, I need $20,000.

Actually, I need 20,000 a year For four years.

You've always been A good credit risk.

Let's see what we can do.

Hmm.

That a good "Hmm," Or a bad "Hmm"?

Just a preliminary "Hmm."

Let's see...

Two years ago, You took out a second On your home.

Oh, that was for Eddie's tuition.

And you still have Your mortgage.

That pesky little thing.

You got a good credit line, Some savings, but...

Not enough collateral.

Well, how about if I put up harriette?

I'm sorry, carl.

Look, I may be able To talk the bank

Into loaning you A couple of thousand.

Gee, phil, that's Not nearly enough.

What about financial aid From the university?

We checked into that.

The irony here is that We make too much money

To qualify For financial aid.

And you don't make enough For this bank loan.

I don't believe this.

I'm really sorry, carl.

I wish there was Something I could do.

Yeah, so do I.

My daughter's Been accepted

To one of The finest schools In this country.

Now I have to Tell her she won't Be able to go.

Hey, steve, How about a little Music to munch by?

Oh, keen idea.

I'll put on my favorite Radio station.

[polka music plays]

[hip hop music plays]

Now, that's music.

No. That's an ulcer Waiting to happen.

Forget the music.

[knock on door]

Come on in. It's open.

No, it's not. It's closed.

I meant, It's unlocked.

Oh. Cool.

[shoes clicking]

Hey... What's that noise?

I don't hear Anything.

Waldo, are you Wearing tap shoes?

Yeah. They come In real handy

For tap dancing Lessons.

You're taking Tap dancing lessons?

Try and keep up.

Why?

So we all know what We're talking about.

He meant, Why are you taking Tap dancing lessons?

Ohh...

Ahh...

Well?

Well what?

Why...

Are you taking...

Tap dancing lessons?

Chill, bub.

I'm taking Tap dancing lessons

Because of the Advice I got from My aunt velveeta.

You know, waldo, I've had the pleasure

Of meeting most Of your family--

Your sisters, Quesadilla and noxema...

Your cousins, dufus and Bob-a-lob-a-ding-dong...

But I don't believe I've had the pleasure

Of meeting Your aunt velveeta.

She's married to My uncle jalapeno.

They have Twin boys-- Nacho and gary.

Gary?

Yeah. There's Something odd About him.

Anyway, my Aunt velveeta Says

That tap dancing Develops

Physical dexterity And agility.

Oh, I've heard that.

And you guys said to get A lot more coordinated,

To play basketball With you. Well, I am.

You are?

I've taken A lesson every day For two weeks.

Want to see?

Two weeks? Sure, waldo.

Let 'er rip.

Yeah. Strut your stuff.

[it don't mean a thing if You ain't got that swing plays]

Man, waldo, That was great!

Not really. I messed up On my double pick-ups.

Shovel pick-ups?

You learned All that in Two weeks?

No. I took A day off to observe Gregory hines' birthday.

Come on, guys. We got a b-ball game In 10 minutes.

Right. We've Got a rematch With the spider,

And it'll be A tough game.

Guys, don't worry.

This time you're playing With twinkle toes faldo.

[tap dancing]

Richie, what Are you watching?

It's some elephant show.

Why do you look So confused?

Well, they shot This elephant with A tranquilizer,

Then painted a great Big number on his side

And put a transmitter In his ear.

Then they returned him To the herd

To live as A normal elephant.

Yep...

The other elephants Will suspect he's Been somewhere.

Hi, honey.

Hey, harriette.

Carl, you okay?

Oh...Yeah.

Tough day at work Today, that's all.

How you doing, richie?

Fine, uncle carl.

Rich, have you made Up your bed yet?

Yep, but if you Want to talk to Aunt harriette,

I can go Make it again.

Thanks, rich.

Smart kid.

Carl... What's the matter?

I went to see Phil hallenbeck Today, harriette.

The bank will not Give us the loan For laura's tuition.

Oh, no, carl.

I've been depressed All afternoon.

When I got back to work, The captain announced

That our division had The highest arrest record In the city.

Instead of celebrating With the guys,

I just sat there, Feeling like a failure.

Carl, this Isn't your fault.

Yeah, well, I don't know, Harriette.

My head says That it isn't,

But my heart Says it is.

How am I going to Break this to laura?

It isn't going To be easy.

This'll Devastate her.

Yeah. She's wanted To go to harvard

Ever since she Was 10 years old.

I've always Encouraged laura to Strive for the best,

And when she's Achieved it,

I can't afford it.

Hey, um, mom, dad, Can I talk to you For a minute?

Sure, honey. What's up?

Laura, you've Been crying.

I got a little Emotional.

That's what I Wanted to talk To you about.

Well, what Is it, honey?

I don't want To go to harvard.

What?

Why not?

It's too far From the people I care about.

Your friends?

Yeah... But most of all, You guys.

Sweetheart, what Brought this on?

I just been Thinking,

And I realized I've never been Away from home

For more Than three days.

I just don't think I'm ready

To move so far away For so long.

Honey, are you sure?

Yeah...But you know,

There's great schools Right here in chicago.

I figure if I study hard and Get good grades,

In four years, I might feel better

About being Out on my own.

Then maybe I'll go to harvard-- Law school.

But, honey...

Going to harvard Meant the world to you.

Yeah, it did.

Then I realized My world is Right here.

I love you, dad.

Okay, the first thing you Have to learn is "Tippety."

Then, there's "Tappety."

Put 'em together, And you have "Tippety-tappety."

Okay. After you Get that down,

You move on to "Skippety-hoppity,

Dippity-boppity, Tippety-tappety-too."

Hey, hey! Get off my foot!

Steve...

Go, dad! Go, dad!

Go, dad! Go, dad!

Get busy! Get busy!