Original subtitles

Morning, big guy.

Oh. Morning, steve.

* hmm *

* deh-deh-deh-deh Dehdy deh-doo *

* hmm hmm-hmm hmm * * hmm-hmm *

* hmm-hmm hmm-hmm **

Hey, you want a refill?

Oh, sure.

Whoo!

Hope that's enough.

Carl? Huh?

I made you and harriette A snack for the plane.

Oh, gee, thanks, ma.

Let's see now... Okay.

Four sandwiches, Two bags of chips, Two juices,

And a six-pack Of twinkies.

Heh heh.

Oh, uh... Where's harriette's?

Oh, ho ho ho ho.

Oh...Nassau Is so beautiful.

I wish I was Going with you.

Yeah, well, ma,

This is Our second honeymoon,

So I'm glad That you're not.

You know, your father And I never needed A second honeymoon.

Oh, why not?

Because the first Never ended.

I can't wait. Harriette and I Wanted to go to nassau On our first honeymoon,

But we couldn't Afford it back then.

Oh, ma, look.

What?

Ooh-wee! Mm-hmm.

What a nice hunk of ice.

I'm going to surprise harriette On our last night in nassau.

Oh, no, give it On the first night.

You'll have A better time.

While you just sit down. I'm gonna confirm our seats.

Oh, I can take care of it. Oh, no, tut tut tut.

You just sit there And be beautiful, babe.

Hi.

Please get in line.

Well, There is no line.

Well, then you'll be In front, won't you?

Next.

Hello. Tickets, please.

Oh. Flight 613 To nassau.

You're flying coach.

Yup.

Ooh...Snug fit.

Could we, uh, Cut the sarcasm

And move this thing Along?

I'm trying to relieve My tension.

We've had two crashes This week.

Seat preference?

Uh, somewhere near The emergency exit.

Nope.

How about a window seat?

Oh, wait.

Nope.

Well, do you have Any two seats together?

Yes. Seats 12-f and 12-g.

We'll be boarding In just--

[telephone rings]

Hello? What?

Again?

Okay.

Folks, we regret To inform you

That our airline Has just gone Out of business.

All flights Are hereby canceled.

Oh. Aw. Aw.

Thanks for trying to fly Island breeze air.

Tell your friends About us.

Well, never mind.

What is this? Carl, what's going on?

I don't know. Listen, what's the deal?

What about our tickets-- Will any another airline Honor them?

[laughing]

Oh, you were serious.

Um...Well, You could try that.

As for me, I'll grab a corn dog

And go look For a new job.

I don't believe This mess here.

I don't know--

They'll never miss this.

Mmm. Mmm. Have mercy.

Hidy-ho, eddo.

Aw.

It's lunch time.

Uh-oh. What'd you bring?

Baloney and cheese for you And pour moi, chicken feet.

Ew.

Hot 'n' spicy.

Mmm-ahh mmm-mmm ahh.

So... What are you reading?

Swimwear today. Heh heh heh.

It's the thong issue.

Ooh. The thong issue.

Uh-huh.

Ooh-wee, Look at that babe Right there.

Ooh.

Man, I'd give anything To go out with a woman This fine.

But it'll never happen.

Why not, eddo?

Why, ladies flock to you Like maggots to road kill.

You're the man.

Ow.

Maybe to you.

But to pull High-caliber chicks Like this,

You got to be rich, Famous, have a yacht,

And not live at home.

Heh.

Or you got to use Some of my woo woo juice.

Woo woo juice?

What's that?

Oh, just a love potion I whipped up A couple of years back.

Love potion Well, does it work?

Oh, like a charm.

Let's see... Where's my rack Of patent pendings?

Ah, here we go.

The woo woo juice.

The world's Most powerful Aphrodisiac.

Well, have you tried it?

Sure, why I had a lab Rat named loveless larry.

He was a skinny, Scrawny feller,

Shunned by all The lady rats.

And you tried Your woo woo juice On him?

One drop.

He fathered 6,000 children.

Found him in his cage Dead as a doornail

With a big smile On his face.

Heh heh heh heh.

Steve, I'm going to volunteer

To be your first Human test subject.

Heh heh heh.

You are?

Ah, yeah. Give me that juice.

Now, I don't know, eddo.

We have to Consider the ethical Ramifications here.

The what?

Well, eddie, My woo woo juice Will make you irresistible

To the first woman Who comes within Sniffing distance.

And the bad part is?

Why, the attraction Would be artificial.

It's not free choice.

Why, The poor young lovely

Would be crazed With desire for you.

She'd be kissing you And rubbing And touching and...

Pawing and hugging And grabbing and...

Heh heh.

Steve, Give me that juice!

Come on, steve, Give me that jui--

Look what you did.

I'm sorry, steve.

Yeah, well, sorry won't Feed the bulldog.

Just wash it off.

I can't.

No matter how hard I scrub,

This stuff Will stay on me For a week.

I've gotta get out of town Before some poor, Unsuspecting female

Falls madly In love with me.

Steve, You left your loofah In the tub again.

Here.

Whew. Whew.

Boy, that was close.

Steve.

Yes?

There's something Different about you.

Ooh. No, no, no.

Same old nerdy, Icky steve.

What's that smell?

Uh, chicken feet?

You're so funny.

Oh, lord.

It's a magnetic, Sensuous, manly smell.

Oh, lord. Oh, lord.

What... What are you doing?

Hmm. Oh, my, my.

You filled out since, Uh...

Yesterday.

Oh, now, it's just A winter bloat.

Ha ha ha.

Oh, uh...

So, uh, What are you and your... Bloat doing later?

W-w-w-what?

Well, I'm picturing You and me

Cuddling in front Of a cozy fire.

[deep voice] Cuddling?

I'm going to go pick out Something appropriate

To wear for the occasion.

Heh heh heh heh.

Steve...

You've been chasing me For years.

Well, tonight... You just might catch me.

May I help you?

I sure hope so.

We have two tickets To nassau

On, uh, island air, Flight 613.

Aw, gee, They went belly up.

I know, we were hoping You'd honor our tickets.

Well, several people From that flight

Have asked us The same thing.

Oh. And...

You've been hosed.

Look, there Must be something You can do.

There is This little trick That only I know.

[carl] Oh.

[telephone rings]

Excuse me.

Yes?

You got it.

Sorry, folks. Shift change. Bye.

Oh, but you-- But, but--but--

But you just...

May I help you?

Haah!

How'd you get Another job so fast?

Personality.

Now, what are we trying To do here?

We'd like two tickets To nassau.

Alright.

Two tickets. Round trip.

$830.

What?

Island breeze Only charged 400.

And you wonder Why they went out Of business.

Just give us The tickets.

You got it, Mr. Sunshine.

Yikes. Booked solid.

Booked? Solid.

Oh, wait.

Good news here.

I've got you two seats On coral reef air,

Flight 346 to nassau, Leaving from gate d-61.

Well, great. Thanks. Yeah, okay.

Where's d-61?

About a mile Down the concourse.

Fantastic. When do they leave?

In three minutes.

Come on, carl!

Go, go, go!

They'll never make it.

Oh, harriette, We made it.

Yes. Nassau, here we come.

Attention, please.

Flight 346 to nassau Has been delayed Due to inclement weather.

What?

Hopefully, It'll just be A few snow flurries...

Instead of The record-breaking Blizzard

They're predicting On the radio.

Aw...

[thump]

Shh.

Steve?

Oh, hi.

I was waiting for you.

Come over here. Sit down. We can talk.

Oh, oh.

Talk?

Yeah. Uninterrupted.

There's no one else In the house.

What a nice Winter ensemble.

Sort of a mix Between eddie bauer And elmer fudd.

Hee hee hee hee. [snort]

Ooh, I love that snort.

What?

Steve, um... I was hoping To see you tonight

So I put on something Extra special for you.

It's a new outfit, And I really hope You like it.

What do you think?

I love it.

Do you like The way it feels?

Here...

Let me help you Out of that jacket.

Laura, I--I don't know If we should really, You know--

This--this might not Be a good idea.

Steve...

I've been thinking back Over all the years We've known each other,

And...How relentlessly You pursued me.

Then today...

All of a sudden I realized that...

I'm in love with you.

Laura

Yes

I've dreamed Of hearing those words

Ever since the first day I laid eyes on you.

Well, you're not Dreaming now.

Oh, no! No, no!

Oh. Oh, no, This is wrong.

Oh, but it Feels so right.

Oh, but this is bad.

But I like bad.

Oh, now, I must be strong. Be strong.

[breathes heavily And whistles]

Steve, What's the matter?

Oh, laura.

The feelings you have For me are a fake,

A fraud, a sham, A cheat.

You're under the influence Of powder prosum prostate.

What are you Talking about?

Laura, I made a love potion Called woo woo juice

And spilled it On myself.

You walked in and, bam, You never stood A chance, baby.

Wait a minute. My devotion Comes from a potion?

Yeah. We got to slow down Before we make that motion.

This is the antidote.

The moment I put it on, Your feelings for me

Will fade faster Than milli vanilli's Career.

Steve...

I don't believe My feelings for you Are false.

But you know what?

Even if they are, I don't care.

You don't?

No.

I love being In love with you.

Tsk. Throw that In the fire.

Steve, honey... It didn't work.

I still think that...

You smell awful. Ew.

I do?

Yeah. I told you to throw That stuff away.

Oh, step back.

I must've been asleep on The couch 'cause I just had The weirdest dream.

Oh, oh, really?

I dreamt that I fell In love with you.

We even shared A passionate kiss. Isn't that funny?

Yeah...

Hysterical.

[playing calypso music]

[island accent] Welcome to the islands, Lovely lady.

We got the sun, mon.

We got the music, mon.

And we got the love.

Huh? Carl.

Have you snapped Your cap?

No, pretty lady.

But it's true I'm crazy... Crazy for you.

Ahem.

[regular voice] Mrs. Winslow...

We have been married For 25 years.

We've had hard times, And we've had good times.

But I want you to know That I wouldn't change One minute of it.

Oh.

Would you spend The next 25 years

Of your life with me, Mrs. Winslow?

Yes, carl. 100 times, yes.

Ha ha ha ha.

Ladies and gentlemen, Snowplows are clearing The runway,

And flight 346 to nassau Will be boarding shortly.

Yeah! Yes! Yes!

Hit it, boys.

Ay, jeepers.

Three hours early.

I'm here to meet carl And harriette winslow.

Lovely couple.

Salt of the earth.

Why, they took me in

When the rest of The world shunned me.

That's nice.

Hmm.

Hey. Want to see A picture of them?

No.

Sure you do.

Here, hold these. Here, hold these--

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll get it.

Ow! Oh!

Oh, my goodness.

Wait a minute. What are you doing?

Wait, Let me get my arm.

Wait, please. Wait--whoo!

What--what-- Let me--

Waah!

What's Wrong with you, man?