Original subtitles

[polka music plays]

[music stops]

Hi, big guy.

Steve, what's going on?

A polka party, pal.

A what?

My polka club.

Usually, we meet At otto's oompah Palace...

But there was A sudden schnitzel thaw,

And the stench Drove us out.

Do you mind If we meet here?

Yes, I do.

Oh, you--

Come on, big guy. Can we meet here?

I'll get back To you, steve.

[polka music plays]

Get out!

Get out! Get out!

Get out! Get out!

Get out! Out! Out! Out! Out!

Out! Out!

Is this a bad Time to bring up My bagpipe club?

[kids talking at once]

[bell rings]

Ahem.

Out of my way, Tinkerbell.

Well, I see Someone woke up

On the wrong side Of the gutter.

[talking gets louder]

Children.

People!

[talking continues]

Students?

Shut up!

Oh, my. How forceful.

Children, vice-principal Mallet is here today

Because he wants To speak to you--

[urkel] Wait, wait, wait!

Don't take attendance! Don't take attendance!

Okay, okay, I'm fine.

Fine, fine, fine.

He's fine. Fine.

Wah!

Aah!

I guess they don't Make dresses

Like they used to.

Sit down, you nimrod!

I'll just leave this With you.

Sit!

Hi, stevie.

Hi, myra.

You bring such energy To a room.

Okay, listen up, Everyone.

In two weeks, It will be homecoming.

And as you all know, That's when our Football team,

After a season Of brutal defeats,

Has one final home game

Where we generally Get massacred.

Hey, we're kind of On a roll.

We're losing by less Every year.

Well, sis boom bah.

The point is every year, We have a parade

And even build one Of those cockamamie floats.

Now, I am here to find Some sucker--

Student-- To be chairman

Of the homecoming float Committee.

Oh! Oh oh oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh. Oh...

The chairman must Design the float,

Gather volunteers, And actually construct it

On a budget of $58.12.

Ooh ooh ooh! Pick me. Pick me.

Pick-pick-pick me.

Really? You're actually Volunteering to do this?

Abso-tutle-lutely!

Well, I am out of here Before you change Your mind.

Go, team, go! Yippee!

Listen up, Fellow muskrats.

I'll need a crew of 10. The best and the brightest.

Okay, how about Just a crew of 10?

Come on! Let's see Those hands.

Laura? Maxine?

Um... Um...

Alright!

Come on, guys. We've got pretty Ladies.

Now we're cookin'!

Tomorrow, 5 p.M. At the winslow house.

We're gonna build The biggest,

Boss-test best-est Muskrat float

That 58 bucks can buy.

Now give me an "M"!

Okay, just bring tools.

Carl, that looks Like a good movie.

Okay.

[knock on door]

Hey, y'all. Come in.

Hello, sugar.

Mama, what's wrong With your ankle?

I had a little accident In karate class.

She broke 12 bricks With a flying spin kick.

And on the way down, I crashed into The water cooler.

Mama, are you In pain?

Oh, no. I'm fine.

Mother, you are not fine. You are limping.

Carl, if she says fine, She's fine.

Let's go To the movies.

I'm not going To any movie.

Why not?

My mommy's injured!

Put a sock In it, carl.

I will not!

Then I will.

Come on, let's go.

Thanks for inviting me To meet your frat Brothers, eddie.

No sweat. They'll love you, waldo.

I've been meaning To ask you--

Do you have fraternities At your cooking school?

Yeah. I'm thinking About joining one--

"I ate-a pie."

Is it hard To get in?

No. They have a big door Right in front.

What's all This stuff for?

Steve's building a float.

Hmm. Why doesn't he use Ice cream and root beer

Like everybody else?

Gentlemen.

What's that thing?

Oh, it's a bobcat.

First he doesn't know How to make a float,

Now he thinks That's a mountain lion?

Just smile and nod.

What's with him?

I don't know, steve, But it keeps me up nights.

You guys wanna help me And the gang build this float?

Ha ha har har!

Get real. We are in college now.

With a capital "K."

We have matured far beyond

This juvenile Float-building stuff.

So what's your plan?

We're gonna de-pant Some guy

And leave him In the cemetery.

Steve, Where's your crew?

Oh, they're coming At 5:00.

They're late. It's 5:20.

What kind of Watch is that?

It's a sundial.

Well, what do You do at night?

I use a flashlight.

Let's go, waldo.

I hope your crew Shows up.

Don't worry. They'll be here.

In a half-hour, this place Will be buzzing with builders.

Steve?

Ack!

Are you all right?

Aaaaahhh!

Hi there.

What are you doing?

Building the float.

None of the volunteers Showed up.

That's right-- You were one of them.

Oh, laura, why did all The kids volunteer

But not show up?

Steve, everybody's busy.

I mean, We have homework, midterms,

Jobs, dates, sats,

College applications.

Building a float just isn't high On our list of priorities.

I know, but I'm chairman Of the committee.

And I promised to deliver An a-number-1 float.

And I'm failing miserably.

I tell you what. I'll help you.

Really?

A sudden burst Of school spirit?

No, pity.

I'll take it.

Help me with This chicken wire.

Okay.

[bell rings]

Beep beep!

Hey, guys. Great bike.

Thanks. We rented it For the day.

Max is amazing.

No matter How fast I pedal,

She's right Behind me.

Why don't you guys Ride to the lake With us?

Sorry. We're building The homecoming float.

Wanna help them, wally?

Sure. I worked On a float

Every year I was In high school.

Let's see, that'd be Seven floats.

Where do we start?

What's this thing Supposed to look like?

I'm glad you asked. Here take a look at my design.

Voila!

Our mascot, murray The vanderbilt muskrat

Catching the winning pass In his mouth

As he scurries Across the goal line.

That's great, steve.

Thanks, laura.

Aw, gee. Aw, gee.

Wh-wh-what's the matter, Waldo?

This drawing reminds me Of my dear departed Grandma.

What is it?

The buck teeth, The beady eyes, The hairy legs?

Yes.

How's that ankle doing, Mother winslow?

Oh, much better, honey. Except when I bungee jump.

I'll have to tie the cord Around my other ankle.

You actually like To bungee jump?

Oh, yes! It's a rush.

Yeah, a rush To the ground.

[beep-beep]

Hi, ma. What do you think?

Oh, my lord.

You've gotten so lazy,

You can't walk around Your own house?

No, mama. It's for you.

For me?

Yeah.

What on earth Am I going to Do with that?

Lots of things.

It'll take you shopping, To the movies, to the park.

Carl, if I take That to the park,

Won't somebody steal it While I'm jogging?

Well, ma, that's the point.

You shouldn't be Jogging anymore,

Or kung-fuing, Or rollerblading,

Or bungee jumping.

And why not?

Well, mama... Because you're too old.

Too old?

I'm gonna get My camera.

Then take a picture Of mama

In her motorized chair.

Yeah, as she runs Over you.

Carl, come sit next To me, sugar.

Now tell me--

What's all this malarkey About me being too old?

Well, mom, you're 84 years old.

Don't you think that's a little Late to take up parasailing.

That's where You're wrong, carl.

There's nothing so cute

As a granny with a chute.

But, mama, I'm worried about What may happen to you

If you don't slow down.

I'm worried What will happen to me

If I do slow down.

But, mama, some of Your hobbies are Little dangerous.

I mean you could get Seriously hurt or...

Or even die.

I'm not worrying About dying.

I'm too busy Being glad I'm alive!

But, mama--

Carl, I am active.

And that's a part Of who I am.

You understand?

I think I do, mama.

I've got a rep to maintain,

And a lot Of little old ladies

Look up to me.

Well, you know What, mama?

What, honey?

I look up to you, too.

And you know what, sugar?

What?

I want a big hug.

And there I was locked out Of the house in my pajamas!

Laura, we've been in The same homeroom now

For three years, And we never really talked.

Why is that?

I was a fool.

Guess what, Wally pop?

What, maxi-poo?

In a few months, You'll be dating

A high school Graduate.

I will? But I'm In love with you!

I was talking about me.

I'm the high school Graduate.

Oh. Cool.

Did you mean What you just said?

Are you really In love with me?

Uh...

Yeah. I am.

Oh, waldo. I love you, too!

How's that?

Why, that's wonderful. Excellent work, donna.

Thanks, monkhouse.

All this time, I thought you Were some sort

Of wild-eyed, tough-talking Motorcycle tramp.

But now I see you're Just an artistic soul

With questionable taste In jackets.

Okay!

Oh, steve, The helmet's on.

Alright.

Helmet's on, Goal post in position,

Fully creped.

We've achieved full floatage. This baby is done!

[cheering]

Alright! Photo op. Gather around murray. Gather around.

Alright. Alright.

Woo!

Fellow vanderbiltonians, This is a proud proud moment.

As chairman of The float-building committee,

I want to thank ye all

From the bottom Of my little urkel heart.

Never before have so few Done so much

With so little For so long

While looking so good.

Come on, steve, let's run This rodent over To the school.

[engine starts]

[kids cheer]

Oh, no! It's out of control!

[kids shouting]

[kids] Turn it off!

Here's a thought...

We take five, And start all over again.

Geez! Look at this!

Urkel, you idiot.

You ruined everything.

12 hours of work, Down the drain and for nothing!

What a total waste of time.

Let's get out.

Freeze!

Okay, so stevie Bruised the float.

I'll give you that.

But don't you dare tell me That building it

Was a waste of time.

We're seniors,

And soon we're all Gonna be saying goodbye To each other.

This experience Has brought us Closer together.

She's right. I mean...

Jeff and I got to know Each other today.

We're going out This saturday night.

We are?

You were gonna ask me, Weren't you?

You bet!

And if I hadn't come Here today,

I wouldn't Have found out That waldo loves me...

And I hadn't come here today I wouldn't have gotten glue All over my pants.

And I found out That donna santangelo

Is a very creative soul.

You see, guys,

We weren't just Building a float.

We were building A memory.

Floats, they're Just temporary,

But a memory, It lasts forever.

Come on, guys, let's put This thing back together.

Alright.

Somebody else Better drive it.

[whimpering]

I loved you, tree.

It wasn't me. It was...Steve urkel.

Mama! What--

Hi, sugar.

Wh-wh-wh-what is this?

I'm running a few errands. You need anything?

No.

Okay. Later, dude.

I've got to deposit My social security Check

Before the bank Closes.

But...

Well, mom, mom...