Original subtitles

[doorbell rings]

Yoo-hoo, winslows!

Yippety-hoo!

Come on, carl. We have to let him in.

Do we? Can't We just skip The middle man

And check right Into the mental Institution?

We promised his folks We'd look after him

While they Were in russia.

Russia, what a place--

War-torn, freezing cold, Dark and gloomy, no food.

Yeah. Steve's folks Took the easy way out.

[doorbell rings]

Hi-dee-ho.

Your wait is over, Wins-lumps.

I'm finally here.

Great. Great. Great.

Agh!

Agh!

Agh! Oh!

Wait! Wait! Wait!

Steve! Steve! Steve! Steve!

Watch yourself.

Whew! That was easy.

What's in The box, steve?

Everything I own That's unbreakable.

Everything you own Has to be unbreakable.

This box has been packed

By a remarkable New process

I like to call Urkel-squashilization,

Patent pending.

70 cubic yards Of my belongings

Compacted under 10,000 Pounds of pressure Per square inch.

[maniacal] Ah ha ha ha!

Lord...

Carl winslow here.

You--you remember me.

I spoke to you A few months ago

When I passed That kidney stone.

Well...

I need your help again, Lord.

This time it's...

Steve urkel...

An even bigger pain.

Could you give us A little sign, lord,

That tells us when Steve urkel moves in,

He won't destroy Our little home?

Whoo! Aah!

Aah!

I guess that's a no.

Ha. Urkel-squashilization.

Yeah. I'd like to do Some urkel-squashilization.

Damn!

Hi, uncle carl.

Hey, rich.

Freeze!

What?

What you got up Under there?

Nothing.

Mm-hmm.

Don't look now, But nothing's tail

Is sticking out From under your jacket.

Aw, now, rich...

I said you couldn't Bring that cat Into this house.

But I love mr. Buttons.

I love whitney houston,

But she's not living With us.

If she rubbed up Against your leg,

Wouldn't you Try sneaking her in?

Uncle carl?

Uncle carl!

Hmm? Uh, richie, Mr. Buttons has to go now.

Ah!

Oh! Whoa!

[meow]

What's going on?

I was just mauled By a vicious stray cat.

I don't think Mr. Buttons likes you, Uncle carl.

Well, boohoo hoo.

Get him out.

Carl, why Are you so grumpy?

Oh, well, now, Let's see, harriette.

What could be Making me so grumpy?

Steve moving in?

Ding! Ding-ding-ding- Ding-ding-ding!

Tell her what She's won, johnny!

Carl, I've got an idea.

We can't shoot him.

I'm a cop. It's frowned upon.

Let's go up to lake geneva For the weekend?

We could camp and relax

While steve Gets settled in here.

Oh, no. I can't go.

I'm working security Detail tonight.

We'll just go ahead And set up the campsite.

You come When you're done.

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe I'll just Find a quiet spot In the house.

[accordion plays]

* roll out The barrel *

* we'll have A barrel Of fun *

* roll out The barrel *

* we've got the blues On the run *

* zing, boom, tarrero *

* sing out a song Of good cheer *

* now's the time To roll out the barrel *

* 'cause the gang's All here **

Start packing, Harriette.

[humming]

Oh!

[telephone rings]

Hello?

Hey, dad. It's me.

Hey, is everything okay?

Yep. Campsite's All set up.

Great. I'll be there In a couple hours,

Then we'll get down To basics,

Back to the land, Bonding with nature.

Yeah. Right.

Bonding.

Say, dad, could you Bring my blow dryer?

Oh, and matches.

We forgot matches.

Later, dad.

Ahem!

Eddie?

Eddie?

Heh.

Well, hello, there, Ranger delicious.

I'm eddie winslow...

Outdoorsman...

Tracker...

Lover.

Heh heh.

That's poison sumac.

In an hour, your head's Going to blow up Like a tractor tire.

Ohh!

Steve!

What have you done To my window?

I popped that baby out

To bring my transformation Chamber inside.

I'm going to haul her Down to the basement

And set up my laboratory.

Sorry, but the basement Is off limits.

That's my den.

But I thought you said, "Mi casa, su casa."

I said, "Mess With mi casa,

And you're out On your ah-sa."

But I have Revolutionary New experiments

That are going to--

I don't want an argument.

Fine. I guess I'll have To find someone else

To share the profits.

Profits?

There's a new feature

That will make us Both a fortune.

Fortune?

Before, This baby changed Genetic material.

Now it changes the size Of genetic material.

Fortune?

I installed An alpha modulator Infused

With a polycarbonate Amplification Superconductor.

Now through geometric Bifurcation of The fractal invector,

I can escalate The electron particles.

What?

I can make stuff bigger.

No way.

Way! With My expando-ray.

Watch!

Behold!

An ordinary Toothbrush,

Which I shall Carefully place Inside the chamber.

Voila!

Shaquille o'neal's Toothbrush.

Well, I got to Hand it to you, steve.

That's quite a trick, But, uh...

Where is the profit In giant toothbrushes?

The moola's Not in dental Doo-dads, daddy-o.

Think gold, diamonds--

Itty-bitty diamond...

Great bi-I-ig diamond.

Son!

Pop!

Now, there's Still a few bugs To be worked out.

It's alright here In this component.

Ah!

[hissing]

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh, oh, my god.

Steve, are we Getting bigger?

I--I--I-- I don't think so.

Little pinky's Still little pinky.

Now, now, now...

Everything's okay We're fine.

Fine, fine, fine.

Thank god.

Oh.

Whew!

Oh.

Whew!

Oh.

Well, you know, This little faux pas

Answered one of My scientific queries.

My expando-ray doesn't Work on living creatures.

Are there Any other problems?

Yes, indeed.

Now, 72% of the time,

My expando-ray Makes things larger,

But the other 28% Of the time,

Well, it seems To make things...

Smaller.

Wha-what happened?

Uh, in, uh, Scientific terms

Or in layman's terms?

Layman's.

Uh, we're teeny.

You idiot!

Now, carl, There's no reason To get short with me.

O.K., poor choice Of words.

Oh, I'm sorry, Big guy--

Former big guy-- Little big guy--

You know what I mean.

This is the worst thing You've ever done to me!

It's even worse Than your propane Nose hair trimmer!

Now, that's not fair

Because after Your blisters healed,

You could whistle With your sinuses.

Come here.

No.

Come here.

Come here!

Come here. Ooh.

Don't make me Use this.

Toothpicks Don't scare me.

I'm a man, Not a club sandwich.

You know, carl,

Sarcasm only Makes you smaller.

You--

Ch-ch...

Oh, uh...

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I lost my head.

It's perfectly Understandable.

Don't touch me!

Sorry.

Now, rule number one Of crisis control--

Assess the situation.

Now that's The tip top cop

I know and love.

Assess away.

Alright.

We're small.

Everything else is big.

Oh, you're good.

If we can get to The transformation chamber,

Can you make us big again?

Abso-tootle-lutely.

Alright. Come on. Let's go.

Hey, hand me that Bread crumb over there.

Whoa, mama!

That is a long way down.

Oh, it looks like we're Going to have to wait

Until the family Gets back home.

Oh, man!

Two days with you, Trapped on a table.

Well, don't be blue, Big guy.

Don't touch me.

Sorry.

Well, would a snack Cheer you up?

Might.

Then let's have a chip, Old chap.

Yah!

Ah!

Hey, how about A boost, bub?

Alright. On 3.

Okay. Okay.

Alright. Wait.

Do we go on 3? Or do we go, One two, three and go?

I'm not sure.

I've never boosted anybody into Potato chip can before.

Why don't we just wing it?

Boost away.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

Ow! Agh! Ow! Ooh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ah!

Wow!

I can see the sink From up here.

Get chips now!

Agh!

Agh! Agh!

Oh! I think I see a--whoa!

Steve!

Steve, are You alright?

It's dark in here.

Steve! Steve!

Agh! Agh!

Be careful now.

That thing Is going to fall.

Look--wh-what--ah!

Agh!

Steve, are you okay?

Huh? Uh, ah...

Good news.

One chip survived.

Bet I can't eat just one.

Hello?

Hello?

Steve!

It's waldo!

Eddie.

Eddie, I brought back Your c.D. Player.

Where is everybody at?

Oh, I know.

Must be out window shopping.

Waldo! Waldo!

Waldo! Waldo!

Waldo, it's me. Help me!

Waldo!

Help us, waldo!

He can save us! Waldo!

Waldo! Waldo!

Waldo, right here!

It's me! Waldo!

Waldo!

Waldo!

Mr. Winslow?

Urkel?

Oh, my god! I'm 90-feet tall!

Help!

Help!

Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa!

Oh, ah, ah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Whoa!

Oh! Aah!

[panting]

Carl...

That was scary.

Yeah.

You know what scared me Even more?

What?

Hearing myself say, "Help me, waldo."

Hey, mom, What's going on?

No answer.

That's a good sign.

I bet dad's halfway here.

He probably stopped To eat something.

He's probably In the middle

Of a big sandwich.

What is your problem?

I can't get comfy.

Well, steve, You have a marshmallow For a pillow.

Isn't that comfy enough?

Yeah, but when I drool on it,

It sticks to my face.

Good night, steve.

Aren't you Going to tell me A bread time story?

Hee hee hee.

[snort snort]

Nighty night.

[meow]

What was that?

I don't know, But do you smell tuna?

[hiss]

Aah!

Oh!

Agh!

[panting]

Bad kitty!

Get down, kitty!

Bad kitty! Get down!

Run for your life!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Oh! Oh!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Oh.

Ooh.

Oh. Oh, careful.

That's a 40-inch drop.

[panting]

Move back carefully, Steve.

Carefully. Carefully.

Aah! Oh! Aah!

Oh! Ow! Aah!

Ow! Oh! Oh.

Ow! Oh! Ah.

Oh.

Cover me, carl!

Steve, wait!

Scat, cat!

Scat! Scat!

Scram.

Ah!

Mr. Buttons!

Over here!

Beat it, cat! Beat it!

Get out of here!

Beat it!

Beat it!

Get out of here!

Get down, Mr. Buttons!

Go!

Oh, yeah!

We did it!

We did it, steve!

We did it!

Ha ha! Whoo!

Way to go, steve.

Ahh.

You know what, carl?

What?

I hope richie doesn't Have a pet snake.

Me, too, steve.

Steve, I've got A confession to make.

Oh?

Yeah.

I got to admit I--

I didn't want you To move in with us.

Ah, well, I kind Of got that feeling

When you sent my picture To boys' town.

Well, I feel that I owe you an apology.

You do?

Yes.

Because I failed To remember

That no matter how Much havoc you cause,

When the chips are down,

You are always there For your friends.

Oh, thank you, big guy.

No.

Thank you, steve.

Oh.

This is such A touching moment.

May I weep openly?

No.

But would you settle For a hug?

In a heartbeat.

Carl!

Carl!

What happened here?

I don't get it.

Somebody want to Give me a hand here?

Eddie!

Oh.

What'd I do?

Uh, uh, relax.

I'll fix it.

Aah!

Aah! Oh! Oh!

Where'd you guys Come from?

Well, I--I was born In green bay,

But when I was 4--

Steve!

Steve...

We're big again!

I'm big!

Harriette!

I'm big!

I'm big, harriette!

Realizing you Have a problem

Is the first step To fixing it.

I want to know Where you've been.

Harriette, It was unbelievable!

First, steve here Shrunk us,

Then we had To sleep on bread.

We were almost killed By a cantaloupe.

And a kitty!

You want to run that By me again?

I don't think so.

I just want To relax

And enjoy the fact

That things Are finally back To normal. Mm-wah!

Whah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!