Original subtitles

to So You Think You Know Your Palm Stars with me, your host, Hugh Janus.

And as promised, it's looking to become a very spicy show tonight.

So are you ready for the show?

Of course you are.

So let's bring in our first contestant, Danny.

Over there.

Thank you.

Hi, Danny. Thanks for being on the show.

Oh, big fan.

Big fan. Of course you are. Before we get started, why don't you tell us a

little bit about yourself?

Yeah, yeah, great. No worries, Hugh.

Big fan. Big something. Big fan of the show, Hugh.

My name's Danny, obviously.

And I'm an accountant from London.

An accountant from London!

So, you've watched a little bit of porn in your life, haven't you?

Big fan of you. Big, big fan.

So much so, my friends online call me the Encyclopornia.

Very droll. So let's see what kind of encyclopedia you are today.

Encyclopornia. Yes, the encyclopedia of porn that you are going to be.

Much better.

Well, that isn't. Now, this is for you.

Just put that on.

Oh, all right. Yeah.

I can't see anything here. Oh, good.

Oh, good.

Now, before, pretty shortly, we are going to be bringing out a world -famous

porn star. And you have three questions to guess her name.

Now, first name, answer name, and then you win.

Now, as you said, you're a big fan of the show.

But why don't you tell the newbies at home what happens if you guess

I get to fuck a porn star.

You get to fuck a porn star!

So, without further ado, audience, are you ready?

Of course you are. Danny, are you ready? I am. I'm ready, Hugh.

So let's bring on our world -famous porn star!

Oh, look at you. You look amazing.

Now, please, have a seat.

Oh, you're in for a treat if you guess this one right, Danny.

So, my lovely, what's your name? Ah,

that's for Danny to guess.

So, Danny, hopefully you're ready with your first question. Off you go.

OK,

cue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I've got one. I've got one.

Porn star, what colour is your hair?

Blonde.

Blonde!

Second thought, that wasn't really a great question.

No, but you have two questions left, Danny. Use them wisely.

OK.

OK, Hugh.

Porn star, what would you describe as your best feature?

Oh, my best is my eyes.

Really? Yes.

Her eyes, ladies and gentlemen.

So, Danny, that was your second question. Any ideas?

Again, not very helpful, but I do think I recognise that voice. You may

recognise the voice.

The famous porn star is Jasmine Hart.

Jasmine Hart?

Oh, what a shame. It's not Jasmine Hart, but you've got one question left there,

Danny. Hopefully that should help you.

Okay, Hugh, let me just think about this one.

Anytime. Don't want to waste my opportunity.

No, exactly.

Okay, Pornstar, please name a title of a scene you've starred in.

Uh, fucking the busker.

That's a great theme.

Fucking the busker!

So, are those your three questions there, Danny? You've asked them, we know

they are.

What's it gonna be?

It's on the tip of my tongue, and then... On the tip of your robot tongue?

that's the thing. Oh, yeah, um... Ah... So, it's high, the clock is counting.

Coming down in three, two, one... Oh,

no! What a shame, what a shame. But don't worry, don't worry there, Danny.

Ladies and gentlemen, do you think we should give him a second chance?

Of course we should. So, Danny, it's your lucky day. You've been allowed to

through to the boner round of this form show, my lovely.

Join me here.

Now, you have one minute to do whatever you want to do to Danny and see if Danny

can get who you are.

But remember, you must not, I repeat, must not tell him your name.

Are you ready?

Yes, I'm ready.

Danny, are you ready? I am, Steve. Okay.

Audience, are you ready?

Of course you are.

So, start the clock.

Oh, hi.

Oh, look at this. Oh.

Stay safe.

Yeah.

The famous hands on the boobies maneuver.

One of my favorites, ladies and gentlemen.

One of my favorites.

I bet they do.

Sorry,

I was distracted.

She has boobs.

Yeah, she does.

Nipples. Okay.

Tits McGee.

Oh.

Stop. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, what manoeuvre is she pulling now, ladies and gentlemen? Oh, the old reach

around, Hugh.

I know.

Do you recognise me like this?

No, I can't see anything.

Oh, but you can feel. Oh, yeah.

I've got an erection.

Hugh, I've got an erection.

I bet you have.

Do you want me to leave you hanging? No, it's cool. It's cool, Hugh.

Oh, my word, she's got naked, ladies and gentlemen. Ooh!

Oh, shit.

Ooh!

Oh,

yeah, I can feel.

So you've got a few seconds left. Oh! So, Danny, any idea about who this might

be? She's going downtown, Hugh.

Yes, she is, but any suggestions, any clues?

No, Hugh, I'm lost.

Phew. I'd recognise this technique anywhere.

Okay. So, we haven't got long.

Yeah. Is it Alessandra?

Alessandra! But we need the second name. We need the second name.

Ah, fuck.

Clock's running short.

Wow.

Alessandra. Three.

Two. Two minutes. Oh, no.

Sadly, we didn't get the name of the porn star.

So, Danny, bad luck, but that's not a problem.

Okay, Alessandra, you can stop now.

Alessandra?

I'm busy.

Alessandra, that's not how the show works.

I don't care how the show works. I just see this fucking big cock in front of me

and I'm so horny to use it.

Did I win?

No, you didn't.

Okay, then, ladies and gentlemen, we're just going to take five there, or

perhaps 30.

And for you viewers at home, now we've got a little, or maybe a longer word

our sponsors.

Hugh.

Hugh.

Hugh, are you seeing this, mate?

Hugh.

Q, she's stuck in my willy. Q?

I know she is, Danny. You there?

I heard you.

Q? Yes, I'm here. You there? Sorry.

I can't see anything.

Yes, I know.

Ah.

Wow. Take the blindfold off as soon as we've locked the thing already.

Really? Ah.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I didn't even know this one. I wasn't even thinking of this one at all.

Oh, right. Okay.

Brilliant.

Hugh?

Like that?

Oh, shit.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yeah, that's it, baby. Just like that.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, yes.

Oh,

yes. Just like that.

See you later.

Just oh

What's up, Mr. Carter?

Fucking dick.

Oh, yes.

We're gonna get fucked again, huh? Yeah.

We're gonna fuck your favorite porn star.

Yes, there you go.

Have some fucking tea.

Come here, baby.

Just like that. Keep on fucking, fucking talking.

Good job, baby.

Like that dick. Like that fucking dick.

Let me see that pussy in a fucking way.

Let me see that pussy.

Oh, man.

Oh,

look at that.

Oh, fuck.

That's it.

You can come and suck this fucking dick, huh?

Yeah.

You can clean this fucking cock.

Fucked again

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

That's it, baby.

Open your mouth. Uh -huh.

Oh, shit.

Oh.

Oh, yes, baby. There you go.

Oh, shit.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Well, I... I guess that was...

Sorry you didn't get to see most of it.

But on the other hand, we did promise you a spicy show and Alessandra here

certainly did provide the spice.

Don't forget to tune in tomorrow night for another episode of So You Think You

Know Your Porn Stars.

Thank you.

Good night.

What the fuck was that?

What the fuck? I'm supposed to get another... contestant waiting behind

You're supposed to be trying to be guessing who you are. All you do is you

and...