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Zulu
[Jon] Previously on "American Classic"...
[Richard] The Millersburg Festival Theater, used to be a destination.
Everything I loved is gone!
You are such a pompous ass.
We're just trying to make sure this theater survives.
What does the mayor have to say about this?
- I'm the mayor. - You take my money.
And you take it and you rebuild this town.
Ooh! Look at that! Hey!
- And now I'm told this theater might close,
but I'm not going to let that happen.
We will restore the soul of this town
by producing the greatest production
this country has ever seen of Our Town.
[cheering and applause]
[melodious music]
[Kristen] Jon, Jon...
Just listen to me.
- Cover your ears. - No, you have to tell him.
- [grinder whirring] - You have to tell him
that if he goes through with this,
that theater, it closes forever.
[whirring]
- Jon- - You don't want coffee?
No, I-I-I'm already- I'm seeing noises.
You have to talk to him.
Now. This morning.
Okay, it might work better if we do it together.
I have Boyle in half an hour and then I have
the concerned parents book-burning summit.
And besides, I might kill him. So you have to do it.
Okay, okay, okay.
But just for the sake of discussion, I mean,
it is Our Town, right?
There's no sets, there's no props.
It's mime, right?
It's the cheapest show in the world.
"It's the greatest Our Town."
That's what he said.
This is gonna be some crazy Richard Bean shit
that's gonna just bankrupt all of us.
- Well, we don't know that. - Yes, we do.
Because I know him.
We do not have the money
for original productions of any kind.
We don't have any money at all.
Look, you have to talk to him.
You have to just-
Get him to go away.
I made bagels.
- From scratch? - Uh-huh.
- Take them for lunch. - [sniffing]
I'll talk to him. I'll talk to him.
You know, he's probably forgotten about it already.
You know, he gets swept up in the moment.
I mean, does he ever follow through with anything?
[tape measure clicking]
What the- What are you doing?
Uh, I've made a great deal on some new theaters seats.
Seats?
221 upholstered flip-up seats
from an old movie house in New Jersey.
And they said if I bought the whole lot,
I could get them for like $95 per unit.
- Per-per seat? - And free delivery.
Hold on, wait, hold on.
That's- that's more than $20,000.
You can't- Jesus Christ.
Richard, we gotta talk.
Listen, I made a vow
over our mother's cold, dead body...
- Please, stop saying that. - ...that I would restore
this theater to its former glory.
Yes. Okay, but this is a working theater.
We have another week of Nunsense.
- Don't remind me, I know. - You can't just come in here
and tear it all apart. Help me move these tables.
I'm not tearing anything apart. I'm just making a plan.
I'm helping you. I'm keeping you company.
You're not helping me at all.
- Yeah. I feel weak. - Oh, you feel-
I-I know. I know what this is.
This is your low blood sugar thing, right?
Low blood sugar- There you go.
Okay, I'm gonna make you a sandwich.
Thank you. Yeah.
I love you, brother.
[playful music playing]
[Richard] Thank you.
The matinee special.
That's fantastic.
My take on a Reuben with a spicy pickle.
I put it in there.
No, but there's-there's something in the-in the bread.
[Jon] Juniper berries.
I fold them in instead of caraway seeds.
- You made the bread? - Yes, I made the bread.
You could've gone to Subway. On Main Street there's-
- Yeah, not gonna do that. - No. No, you're not. And why?
Because this sandwich
is a sandwich of a certain standard.
This is the Thornton Wilder of sandwiches.
People who bite into this sandwich
they're never gonna be satisfied with Subway again.
You see where I'm going with this?
- Maybe. - I see in Our Town.
It's completely new.
It'll have a real soda fountain.
It'll have a horse crossing the stage.
It'll have rain falling from the sky
like the sky's weeping.
Sounds very expensive.
It's my juniper berries. You see?
Okay?
Dad can play the Stage Manager.
He can't do it.
Yes, he can. He did it for me this morning.
Richard, Richard, you haven't been here.
He can do it.
You know, two weeks ago,
we found Dad walking down 3rd Street in his slippers
in one of Mom's hats.
He had no idea where he was.
Doesn't matter. The play is locked in there. Trust me.
It will be all of us as a family,
telling great stories.
Yeah, that's what we do.
And the people who are lucky enough to be sitting
in our new seats,
they're gonna remember it for a long time.
[Kristen] I'm so, so sorry I'm late.
I'm dealing with this small family thing.
And it's not really small.
It's suffocatingly large. Actually, it's enormous.
But, you know, I'm getting a rash.
You wanted to talk about your payment?
Yes.
I know we are already behind, but...
We had to cancel several shows because of the funeral.
And there's this famous actor in the family
and he has to make everything about a show, so it's-
So you're defaulting on the loan.
No.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's just about this month.
I'm only pulling your leg. [laughing]
I know you're good for it.
Yeah, forget about this month.
We'll call it a payment holiday.
- Oh, God. - [laughing]
Thank you. Thank you.
I-I promise we'll make it up next month.
- [laughing] - Uh...
Can we keep this between us?
Yeah. Dead on.
- Oh, and in return- - Connor...
I cannot give you a quid pro quo.
I've told you that. I've made it quite clear.
No, no, you're-you're sound. It's-It's not about permits.
It's, uh-It's about dinner.
[mischievous music playing]
What?
Yeah, would you mind inviting Nadia and me over for dinner?
Oh, that's it?
She's obsessed with the actor fellow.
I mean, she said she used to watch him back in Russia.
You know, I don't know.
She said she wants to ask him some questions.
And, you know, our hearts all flutter with this theater shite.
So a dinner with him would make her happy.
I mean, if that's not a problem.
No. No.
Getting Richard Bean to talk about himself is not a problem.
Just don't count on an early night.
What is your obsession with fog?
Fog? What do you mean?
You wanted it at the funeral too.
No, no, this is gonna be a heavy fog
that will drift off of the stage into the audience,
nestle at their feet and kind of invite them
to be part of the action.
It's a small space.
You have to be careful, right?
You're worried about the CO2, are you?
Well, yes, it is lethal,
but that's only if the audience gets down
on their hands and knees and tries to huff it.
- [Kristen] Well, hi, boys. - Hello.
- How's it going? - Hey, three quarters full.
Miranda's doing drinks.
Hello, Richard. How are you?
Oh.
Uh, I'm-I'm fine.
Oh, good. Well, what have you Beans been up to?
Well, Richard has been walking me through production design.
It's ambitious, but it's very cool.
And I was about to tell him what you'd said.
What-what did you say?
Well, I-I was gonna say
that I know whatever you come up with will be...
uh, ambitious,
but very cool.
- Really? - Yeah.
It's high praise coming from you.
I'll take it.
So, how ambitious?
Just out of curiosity.
- You want to know the cost? - Mm-hm.
Well, I based my budget
on a typical Broadway budget.
What-Why would you start there?
- That's what I know. - This-this is Millersburg.
- No, I know that. I know that. - Yeah.
Polly's going to oversee the whole design for free.
And she told me that if we don't use the union crew
for the load in, that's $400,000 right there.
I beg your pardon?
The $400,000 that we save.
Okay, they're all shit-faced.
- We can start. - Good.
What's that?
Oh, this is, uh-
my Our Town. [chuckles]
Just drawings and sketches.
Just thoughts, you know?
I'm so excited.
You know, I'm casting it
with local actors, and, uh-
I think I have something very nice for you.
You don't mean-
- I do. - Seriously?
Yeah.
[exclaiming] Oh, my God...
- [Kristen] Okay, enough. - Thank you.
- Back to serving. - Thank you. I love you.
- This is good to go. - Yes.
- There we go. - Bye.
Don't you think she'll make a wonderful Emily?
I mean, she could be as good as-
She could be better than you.
Cut to the chase.
How much?
All in.
If we pay the actors Equity minimum,
ballpark figure, it'd be $250,000 a week.
For Our Town?
That-that's our operating budget for the entire year.
Yeah, I-I got some wiggle room.
I-I can give up...
my waterfall.
I can just get rid of the cornfield.
It's Our Town.
There-there is no waterfall or cornfield.
Okay, upfront it- it's more like 200 grand,
but-and once we cover the-the nut,
then the-the production pays for itself.
Ooh, speaking of which,
I bought 212 theater seats
and I thought,
since they're a permanent addition to the theater,
that maybe you could expense it for me,
get the tax write off. - You-you bought-?
- You didn't buy the seats? - Yes, I did.
The guy told me I'd be an idiot not to buy them.
Those were his exact words.
No, but you didn't buy them.
Yes, I did. I told you I did.
No, you didn't tell me that.
You told me you found them online.
I told you not to buy them.
I told you to slow down. I told-
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- No, no, see this? - It's $20,000.
- No, I understand. - $20,000.
I didn't know he bought them.
He told me he found them online.
What do you think seats are free?
He didn't tell me he bought them. Wait-I didn't know!
I had a great deal.
- Just do me a favor. - He said he found them online.
Go-go give those nuns their 15-minute call, please.
- Okay. - Okay.
- New seats. - You lied.
- Okay. - You have to sit somewhere.
So...
- What's his problem? - So...
What a worrier.
Why don't you keep this?
Just in case there's a problem
and you might- you might have to return them.
But this was a kind of final sale sort of deal.
Just in case.
You don't actually think I expect you
to pay for the whole thing yourself, do you?
[Kristen] What?
I mean, my vision of Our Town.
My...
rain and horse.
Rain? Horse?
Because, you know, I do have access to angels.
Super angels, friends...
That is in fact very good to hear.
Now...
[sighs]
I-I need you
to do something for me.
Come to the house Thursday night. I am...
I'm having a dinner for a developer
who is literally the only person in the world
who is putting money back into this town
and-and for his wife or girlfriend or-
God only knows what she is, but she...
is a big fan.
Oh, oh, a fan.
Yeah.
So, you'll come?
No.
I'm kidding. Of course I'll come.
[sighs]
And you'll- you'll act normal.
I'll give it a shot for you,
for the town.
Thank you.
Anything to help.
I'm gonna make a phone call or two. Yeah.
It's Richard Bean calling with a proposal
I'd like to make to James Davis.
Oh, I'd say it's business and pleasure.
Yeah, it's about- it's about a show.
Bean. B-E-A-N.
Like the legume.
Oh, she's not there?
Okay, uh...
If you let me speak to him, I think I can [clears throat]
plead my case a little more...
directly, you know what I'm saying?
He just went to lunch. It's externing.
What time is it where you are?
Tell her it's the Beano.
That was her nickname for me, you see?
Yeah. Oh, she-
Oh, she did? I see.
Yeah. I wouldn't really call it a rampage.
I think that's- that's a bit severe.
Yeah, no, my name is Bean.
- [pen clicks] - Yeah, as it has-bean.
[pen clatters]
[sighs]
As a thought experiment,
what would it take for me
to finance this whole endeavor myself?
Uh... a miracle?
Why? Can you explain?
Well, there's a lack of incoming funds,
but you've still got your expenses,
your mortgage, your maintenance fees,
the alimony.
Yeah, I get all that.
What-What can I put my hands on right now?
What's liquid?
I mean, I could mortgage the apartment-
Couldn't I?
Are you familiar with the term "upside down"?
Upside down? Of course I am.
Yeah, but I suspect you're using it
in some arcane financial context.
[sighs]
I can't do it. I can't make-
I can't make the show happen.
I've let everyone down.
Yeah.
You saw their faces at the funeral.
They were all aglow,
their eyes filled with tears.
You know, some of those tears were for Mom.
Well, yeah, even the standing ovation,
it was partially for Mom.
I'm sure. What?
What? Are you going to say something?
It was a good idea.
Maybe this is just not the right time.
You know, maybe we plan this for some time in the future,
the distant future when you're back at work or-
There must be some place I can crawl to.
What are you doing tonight?
Well, I'll probably be here drinking myself into a stupor.
No, we're going to a show.
Oh, please, Jon. Not tonight.
I'm not in the mood for Nunsense.
No, it's Monday night.
No Nunsense.
You're gonna love this. Trust me.
Just can I have one more of these
just to get me through the afternoon?
[guitar music playing]
? As long as it's with you ?
? You can take ?
? The light away ?
? You can turn The sky to gray ?
? Give us time ?
? To look and find ?
? The place where We can feel the light ?
- ? You can take ? - ? You can take ?
- ? The light away ? - ? The light away ?
? You can turn the sky to gray ?
? But give us time ?
? To look and find ?
? The place where We can feel the light ?
? Even in the cold ?
? There's a miracle ?
[guitar music ends]
[cheering and applause]
Thank you.
That was one of the new ones.
[audience member] Whoo!
I'd just like to say a quick word
about my favorite uncle, Richard Bean.
[audience member] Yeah, whoo!
He made a crazy promise,
which some of you might have heard about
and inspired all of us.
And well, it's not a big surprise
because he's been inspiring me for most of my life.
He's here, sitting there in the back.
[crowd exclaiming]
Uh, I swear this wasn't planned,
but maybe we could get him to sing something.
[crowd exclaiming]
Oh, he's going all shy.
No, I couldn't. I haven't prepared any-I'm-
- Oh, come on. - Uh, nothing voice-
He's actually sung on Broadway.
[crowd exclaiming]
[Miranda] Come on! You're never here!
Uncle, uncle, uncle...
[crowd chanting] Uncle, uncle, uncle...
[chanting continues] Uncle, uncle, uncle!
[vocalizing]
[cheering]
Very well. [clears throat]
I haven't warmed up.
I wasn't expecting this, brother.
[Miranda] You know, I think you'll be fine.
[single piano note rings]
[audience member] Come on!
? I am I, Don Quixote ?
? The Lord of La Mancha ?
? My destiny calls ?
? And I go ?
? Onward to glory ?
Oh...
No, I- [clears throat]
- I can't. - Don't stop. You sound great.
No, I-You're very kind.
- Thank you, I- - I'm not being kind.
Come on, please, keep going.
- No, no- - You sound great.
[Jon] ? To dream ?
? The impossible dream ?
? To fight ?
? The unbeatable foe ?
- ? To bear ? - Sing.
? With unbearable sorrow ?
? To run ?
? Where the brave dare not go ?
? To right ?
? The unrightable wrong ?
? To love ?
? Pure and chaste from afar ?
? To try ?
? When your arms are too weary ?
? To reach ?
? The unreachable star ?
[Jon] Sing it, brother!
- ? This is my quest ? - ? This is my quest ?
- ? To follow that star ? - ? To follow that star ?
? No matter how hopeless ?
? No matter how far ?
? And I know ?
? If I'll only be true ?
? To this glorious quest ?
? That my heart ?
? Will lie peaceful and calm ?
? When I'm laid to my rest ?
- ? And the-? - [Miranda] ? And the world ?
[audience member] Whoo! Yeah!
- [applause] - ? Will be better for this ?
? And one man ?
? Scorned and covered With scars ?
? Still strove ?
? With his last ounce Of courage ?
? To reach ?
[crowd exclaiming]
? The unreachable star ?
- [laughing] - [cheering]
You have got to stay!
Ah, of course, of course, I'll stay, man.
Where would I go?
[laughing]
[Jon] I wasn't sure about this Our Town thing,
but last night Miranda was so happy.
And seeing those kids, they-they were excited.
I haven't seen so much happiness in years.
Yes, their fat faces all aglow.
None of these kids were fat.
What is this fat thing with you?
I don't know. It's just how I picture them.
The beauty is that by investing in the show,
we increase the value of the property.
So you see, Jeff, the loan pays for itself.
It's just not possible.
The MFT sits on two and half acres
of the most beautiful land in Millersburg.
It has to be worth a fortune.
It's not about the value of the property.
I know what it's about.
It's about the value that we bring to it.
It's just about what- what the theater
can provide to the town.
You simply have to embrace
the power of the art form itself.
Show him.
Show him.
All right.
I'll give you an excerpt.
"I have of late,
"but wherefore I know not,
"lost all my mirth.
"Forgone all custom of exercises,
"and indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition
"that this goodly frame the earth,
"seems to me a sterile promontory.
"This most excellent canopy,
"the air, look you,
"this brave o'er hanging firmament,
"this majestical roof
"fretted with gold and fire,
"it appears nothing to me
"but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors.
"What a piece of work is a man,
"how noble in reason,
"how infinite in faculties.
"In form and moving,
"how express and admirable.
"In action, how like an Angel.
"In apprehension, how like a God.
"The beauty of the world,
"the paragon of animals.
"And yet to me,
"what is this
"quintessence of dust?
Man delights not me."
Anyway, that's-that's the gist of it.
[applause]
That's the sort of thing that the theater can provide.
What do you think?
I want to help. I do.
But we don't control the mortgage
on the theater anymore.
Kristen refinanced a few years ago.
You must know this, Jon. You do the books.
Well, I-I write the checks every month.
But, you know, sometimes the names on the checks
don't always match the payee.
No, I don't know that.
Well, but you know what I'm talking about.
Sometimes it's a numbered corporation
or Bernie who sells us our meat.
He likes the checks made out to cash.
Wow, that is just terrible accounting,
not knowing who you're paying.
So tell me who- who owns the mortgage now?
I don't know.
Yeah, well-
We're artists. We know nothing. We're idiots.
It must be Chase. It must be Chase.
No, I do remember.
Kristen, she was looking for a better rate,
and she's very smart about that stuff. I'm sorry.
It's fine. It's just the way it is.
You can't compete with the mega-banks.
No, no. We understand.
- Thank you for your time. - Thank you.
Thank you for the show. I don't really know Shakespeare.
- That was Shakespeare, right? - It was, yes.
It was very moving.
Well, thank you. Yes.
I'm so glad.
- Yeah. Good luck. - [Richard] Thank you.
- Just need a theater. - Thank you.
Listen, I'm gonna ask Kristen.
There's more where that came from, folks.
Just come to the theater.
The Millersburg Festival Theater,
eight times a week, I hope we'll be there.
"Oh, for a muse of fire-" What-?
I know! I know! I'm late.
[Kristen groans]
As long as you have time to work your magic.
Alakazam.
Hey, so, I saw Jeff today.
Jeff?
Yeah, Jeff at the bank? Bank Jeff?
- Oh, Jeff! - Yeah.
Yeah, I haven't seen him in forever.
You know, that's what he said.
He said they're not servicing the mortgage anymore.
You know, they're here in an hour and I have to shower.
So can-can we just talk about this later?
Well, I was talking to Richard and Jeff and-
Why were you at the bank with Richard?
[stammering]
You know, you're right. Let's talk after dinner.
I gotta get-
- I love you. - Yeah, I love you, too.
[jazz playing]
[chattering]
Mm, yeah.
- Oh. - Cucumber and crab vichyssoise
with roasted chili oil and radish.
That's just the start. Tell them what's coming.
Oh, it's just my take on Flounder Meuni๏ฟฝre.
I dust it in almond flour and I finished it off
with a brown butter thyme reduction
and boiled new potatoes with parsley and chive butter
and then some asparagus with a lemon parmesan sauce
and a simple little endive tomato salad.
Bon app๏ฟฝtit.
Oh, my God.
That is what they must eat in heaven.
[laughing]
What's it like kissing a man?
I'm sorry?
What's it like kissing a man in a play
when you are not gay?
Because I see you in The Normal Heart.
And I know you are not a gay man
because I read everything.
I read everything.
But then I see him kissing Richard Thomas.
I think, "He is being gay so well,
how is he doing that?"
How do you-how do you do that?
It's not that hard, really.
You know, kissing a man, it's like kissing a woman,
only she's a man.
[Connor] Listen, to our honored chef.
Enough of you slaving away
in the bowels of that jerk joint.
A man of your gifts deserves his own restaurant
and a chance at his Michelin star.
Sl๏ฟฝinte.
- [laughing] - Cheers.
Excuse me. Jerk joint? The MFT?
Look, your brother is a wonderful cook.
[Kristen] Well, he is.
And the food at the theater is wonderful.
We can't afford to do this every night.
Obviously.
Do you do your own wigs?
Uh, no, no, someone else does my wigs.
They have a mold of my head.
- So, Mr. Boyle- - Uh, Connor.
Connor, Kristen tells me
that you're the savior of the town.
No savior, Richard.
Just a businessman.
Well, honestly,
there's an opportunity here for redevelopment.
I can make a wee bit of money as we go along.
And, you know, the town gets jobs in return.
You know, capitalism.
Have you heard of capitalism?
Rings a bell.
Of course Richard Bean knows capitalism.
Did you once not on Broadway do Willy Loman?
- I did. - Yes, you see,
- I am doing the homework. - [Connor laughing]
In Russia we love this Willy play
because we see the truth of this country,
great America, to throw out worker
like old shoe, pew, you know?
My Nadia, she has a heart like an artist.
[chuckles]
She's a dreamer.
You must be a dreamer too.
I mean, you must have a plan,
a vision for this whole town.
[clinking]
Let's just all enjoy this wonderful soup, shall we?
He is wanting to build a casino.
A casino?
[Connor] I wasn't ready to talk about it.
Yes, but you are, these days,
you are talking of nothing else.
It's casino this, casino-
Well, that is pretty much the truth.
Yes.
Connor, tell us about it.
Well, it's more of a-
an entertainment complex, you know,
with a shopping center and four-star hotel
and three swimming pools.
I hope it's gonna have one of those spouting fountains
where the-the lights and the music
are all synchronized to the spurts.
[Connor] Why not?
And a five-star restaurant for Jon to do his cooking.
Right here in Millersburg.
You know, that came to me when I tasted this fucking soup.
So we're going to become a casino town.
With a restaurant? For me?
[Connor] It's the perfect location.
It will have a theater.
It will have a big theater for you.
Also celebrity acts, right?
Big draws, you know, like, uh, Barry Manilow.
You know, someone people will actually pay money to see.
Did you know about this dream of commerce?
I did not.
But it's still- it's intriguing.
[Connor] Why not make Millersburg a destination
for thousands of tourists
to spend money and have a good time?
I mean, everyone wins.
Except most people. Most people lose.
- Miranda- - [Connor] No, she's right.
I mean, that is how we make money.
- I'm not gonna lie to you. - I fucking love craps.
- Hey! - Who wants more wine?
Where are you thinking about building this?
Where are you building it?
Well, I've looked at several,
you know, possible locations.
Oh, yeah. And-and I just bought
that old hotel up in Berryhill-
- The Morrison. - Yeah, that-that has
a big enough footprint for the main building.
The Morrison is a heritage building.
It's a landmark. Mom.
So you have a name for this in mind?
No, not yet.
Might I suggest The Golden Boil?
[laughing]
Okay.
That's-that's very funny.
You know, I-I could build it right in the heart of things.
I mean, the MFT site might just be big enough.
I got some surveying done when I took over the loan.
Whoa! I'm sorry- Wait a minute-
- What the fuck? - Miranda.
What?
You control the loan?
We refinanced around two- two years ago.
And Mr. Boyle was- was kind enough to give us-
This theater is our family's legacy
and you sold it to a developer?
I did not sell it.
I renegotiated for a very good rate.
I mean, we- we have to make payments, but-
[Connor] Forget about the payments.
Just forget about them. Let them go.
Listen, why-why are you all killing yourselves?
You know? I mean, why, why don't you let me
build us a complex with a theater for you
and a restaurant for Jon?
Let me make this as clear as I possibly can.
We're not letting anything go.
The theater is not for sale.
It is not Kristen's theater to sell.
It's our family's theater.
We own it. Okay?
- Kristen is an employee. - I am not an employee!
[Jon] Come on, Richard, you can't say that.
- How dare you! - He didn't mean that.
But why didn't you tell me this?
What-? Why did that-?
[laughing]
It was when we were putting in the kitchen.
Did you not think I could handle this?
- No, it was when we needed- - This is our family's theater.
We are putting in the kitchen.
Our family's theater...
- Oh, my God! - What?
I've been killing myself for you and this entire family.
I know you have! But that's not what I'm saying.
I'm sorry- I'm really sorry.
[Jon] Listen to me. Can- Talk to me for a second.
[Kristen] No, I'm not gonna talk to you!
[Jon] Listen-
[Kristen] No, you cannot talk to me for a second.
I don't wanna talk-
Serve the fucking flounder!
Tell me, Richard,
how are you remembering all those lines?
[distant yelling continues]
[playful music]
Great question. Great question.
Where's the flounder?
[playful music]
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