Original subtitles

Hi, Grandpa.

See ya, bro.

Shit.

No battery.

Let's go Brandon.

Hey Grandpa!

Oh, hello.

How have you been?

I need some water.

It sucks here.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Not liking it at all?

Well, it's not much to do.

It's, uh,

no tail cheese.

Oh, okay.

I like them young, you know that.

And they're not quite all the names here.

Sure.

It was grandma's recipe.

What was that? You're just making a mess.

Grandma. Thank you.

What else is going on?

Um, not much. You know, just got school going on. Hanging out with my friends.

Pretty much it.

Yeah.

Wow.

Speaking of school.

Yeah, I've been growing it out. I didn't like it short.

Yeah, I changed my shampoo recently.

Why don't you stand up?

Okay.

Yeah,

I have gotten kind of tall.

Yeah. Boys must be chasing you all around the playground.

Yeah, no, I don't play on the playground anymore, Grandpa.

But yeah, I have been getting compliments from the boys.

Yeah, no, I can help.

How's it going?

Not really.

I think me and mom are going to go on vacation soon, but that's it.

Where are you going to go?

We're going to take a beach trip.

Oh, beach.

I love the beach.

I haven't been there in, I can't even remember.

When was the last time I was on a beach?

I don't know. I think before grandma passed away.

The South Beach.

Wasn't there a nude beach down there?

Oh, Grandpa.

I think technically if you go really far south, there is, but I doubt me and Mom

are going to go there.

You okay?

I'm joking.

You know, I once ate a foot -long corn dog at a nude beach.

Oh, my goodness. I'll never do that again.

That sounds crazy.

Here. Make it fun.

So, uh... What else is... What are your studies?

Oh,

just some business.

I'm dying.

Don't die yet.

I hope I don't have, uh... You know...

I don't want you to get sick.

Yeah, you know, I don't want to get sick here.

Take you out back.

Oh, my God.

No, they wouldn't do that, right?

You'd be surprised.

I might need to say something to Mom. I don't want them to do that to you.

Yeah, me neither.

Have you been living in the sky?

I mean, I guess the usual amount?

Not really much. They got new classifications for clouds.

Okay.

Why, right?

No, why?

10 -12.

That's how the other 10 died.

Oh. Yeah.

Who was 10?

He was here a while ago.

I didn't see him anymore. Oh.

That's my guess.

Okay.

Sorry about Tim. Yeah, and then there's Russians in Colorado.

Why would they be in Colorado?

The Denver airport, like, underground.

Oh. Why?

And, uh, I mean, like, the border of Mexico.

The border of Mexico. I wonder why they would choose to go to Mexico.

Why on the Chinese, not the Mexican border? Because I like tortillas.

Oh. Well, I didn't know that.

Well, at least we're going there.

Someone else should be making a visit there, but no.

She's too busy talking about electric cars.

Okay. The VP.

The VP?

Okay.

Maybe she should take a trip down there.

Maybe,

but... Hey, Grandpa.

Have you, um... Have you, like, showered or washed your clothes lately?

I can't wash my clothes.

Why?

What?

What are you doing so close?

I was smelling you. Why?

You kind of smell. That's why I was asking if you showered or washed your

clothes lately. Oh, you know, it's all books. I smell.

And I can't wash my clothes because there's poison in the detergent.

Why would there be poison in the detergent?

Why would there be poison in the detergent? Because population control.

You know what you thought with the old people?

Because we don't matter.

Well, I mean, you matter to me, Grandpa.

Here. Well, why don't I help you out, and I'll take you to take a bath, okay?

I'll clean you up, have you smelling better.

Don't worry about the clothes.

I'll wash them. I'll take care of everything, okay? Why don't we... Here.

I'll bathe you.

That way you'll smell better.

Oh, sure. Come on. Great. Got it?

And I want you to fall again.

It's a

little

full, but we'll make it work.

All right, here, let's set this aside.

Can you hear me? Yeah, and if they're right there, I'll help you figure it

Let's start with the glasses. Let's not get those wet.

I'll put them over here.

Okay. All right.

Oh,

got it. You got it?

Don't hurt yourself.

Last thing we need to do is have to call a nurse.

You're a little shapery.

Did you remember to take your meds this morning?

I'll tuck you a little bit.

There you go.

This one button is tightening.

There we go.

Alright,

nice and easy.

I know you've been stiff.

You know that, ma 'am.

Do you need help with your pan?

Are you going to stay in here? Maybe I can get in there and you can come in.

Okay.

Would you rather me leave? Are you sure you're not going to fall or anything?

I guess you could.

I mean, hey, we're family, right?

Yeah, I just want to make sure you don't get hurt again. I know you hurt your

hip the last time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right. Maybe I should just... Oh!

I forgot my...

I guess not.

Maybe I should put the walker in the back.

Why did you put the walker in the bathroom, Grandpa? Yeah.

No, why?

It's like balance.

You're sitting.

You don't need to balance. I guess you're right.

All right.

Okay. All right. Let me grab this stuff to clean you up, okay?

When we used to go boating.

When you used to go boating? Yeah.

The voting.

What about the voting?

I feel like I'm in a boat.

Oh, okay.

But not really, because that boat sank.

Oh, okay. Well, luckily the bathtub isn't going to sink.

Okay, here, let me grab the stuff to wash you with. All right.

I hear something.

No, it's just the water draining.

So... I think to make this easier, don't think this is too weird. Okay. But I

don't want to get super wet and I need to make sure I can bathe all of you.

So I'm just only taking my pants off just so I can make sure I can wash you.

Cause if my clothes get wet, then I'm gonna have to drive home with them wet.

And I don't want to make this a lot of.

Yeah.

Okay. So just.

I don't want to get my hair wet either, so give me one second.

We're going to get you all washed up, nice and clean. You won't stink anymore.

We'll take care of your clothes.

You won't have to worry about anything.

I'm going to take care of you.

No, I'm just trying to scoot over.

Okay.

All right.

I'm going to sit right here.

All right.

Get some soap on here.

supposed to give you soap and this is almost empty. No wonder you stink.

This nursing home really does suck.

Alright, get one. Let me see your feet.

Alright, is that okay?

It's not hurting?

Okay.

Alright, let me see the other foot.

You know, Mom was saying I'm pretty good at taking care of people, and I should

think about being a nurse.

Yeah, caregiver.

Right? Yeah.

Maybe I can work at the nursing home, and then I can help you more often.

All right. Yeah, that would be great.

I would like that.

Okay.

All right, let's see the other legs.

Okay, let me put a little more soap on here, and I can wash your upper half.

Great.

What is, what's that belly button?

Oh, oh, I got my belly button pierced for my birthday.

Like, earrings?

Oh, no, not.

Not a earring. It's for my belly. Right, right, right.

That's new.

All the kids do it now.

Yeah, most of the girls are doing it. Some boys, too.

You know, you're only my step -granddaughter.

Really?

That's a whole other story. I could tell another time.

Oh, okay.

I'll have to ask Mom about that.

All right. Okay. I'm just going to let you know, Grandpa, I got to wash

your penis.

Okay? Of course.

Are you sure you can stand up? Oh,

okay. I'll be quick. I don't want you to hurt yourself.

Yeah, that's it right there.

I feel like you know.

Okay. Okay.

Is that better?

Are

you

sure, Grandpa?

Okay,

that's the best way to clean it.

Okay. Well, I guess you know best, Grandpa. I mean, I don't have a penis,

you say this works.

That's good right there.

Okay.

Well, I'll make sure I get it all nice and clean, Grandpa.

Okay.

All right. I think it's getting pretty nice and clean now, right?

Yeah.

I'm going.

Grandpa,

are you okay?

Are you having a heart attack?

No, I'm just dust busting.

What's that?

Nothing really.

Just an old man thing?

Nothing.

Okay.

Okay, well, you're... I'll clean up, so why don't we rinse you off and get you

dried off and into clean clothes?

Okay.

You don't want to stay in here any longer?

You won't even miss me.

You

can't

keep an old man down.

What are you doing?

Fuck you guys.

Where am I? I was going to pick up your... What am I going to do?

It's okay.

You're supposed to be at the nursing home.

Yeah, I know. I hate it there.

I know you don't like it there, but did you sneak out?

Did anybody know you left? No, I didn't sneak out. I just left.

You just left?

Yeah, I'm a...

Oh, man, I can do whatever I want. I have my right to do whatever I want. I

guess, but... Left.

I mean, they'll probably be looking for you. I mean, I guess, come in.

What the hell with them?

It's not my problem.

No, but... Like they can keep me there all damn long. Okay, hold on, let me...

We're up against my will, right?

Right, okay, hold on. My run's a little bit of a mess. Hold on.

Oh, my gosh, Grandpa, I can't believe you.

Okay, come in. Just take a seat.

I'm not interrupting.

No, I mean, I was just going to change so I could go out, but I was just going

to hang out with my friends, but I can wait.

Yeah, yeah, it's fine. I can message them.

Oh, my God, I can't believe you're here.

Me either. Look at this. This is great.

How do you climb steps in the wall?

I'm glad you made it up the steps.

What if you fell?

What would we have done? Nobody would have known where you were.

Doesn't matter.

Fine.

You wouldn't happen to have your keys to your car?

Why do you need my keys, Grandpa?

I was going to go and pick up your grandmother.

She's finished at her bridge game.

Grandpa, um...

You do know Grandma passed away, like, a couple years ago, right?

Like, um, so... Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's waiting for me.

Well, I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea for you to drive the car.

Like, I mean, I could drive you somewhere.

I have a license.

I've been driving my whole life.

I understand that, but don't... Like, I could drive you.

Um, oh, wait, hold on, hold on. Hold on, I'm getting a text. Just one second.

Oh, it's Mom.

Okay, um, Grandpa, if you need to go somewhere, I mean, I'm happy to take

If not, why don't you just hang out here with me for a little while? We can just

hang out around the house and maybe put on one of your favorite TV shows or

maybe play some games.

Yeah, I like...

Spin the bottle.

Spin the bottle? I mean, there's only two of us, Grandpa.

Well, I can't kiss myself now, can I?

Oh, um, yeah, but I don't know why you'd want to kiss me, Grandpa.

No, you're all grown up now and everything.

Why don't you maybe give me some sugar?

Lay on back.

Is this really what you want, Grandpa?

Well, I mean, it's hard to lie.

Are you comfortable?

Yeah.

Okay, I don't want you hurting, okay?

You know, I can't tell you the last time I had one of these.

What do they call them nowadays?

Um, I think just blowjobs.

Am I doing okay, Grandpa?

Yeah, it feels... I think it feels right.

Maybe a little bit.

thank you grandpa huh i haven't had one of these in years

look what you did it's hard um

isn't that supposed to get hard well yeah

Thank you.

It's so big, it makes my mouth hurt a little bit.

Are you sure, Grandpa?

I don't want to hurt you.

I'm strong.

Okay, if you think so.

Okay. I'm going to be careful, though.

Is this okay?

You okay?

Get Grandpa out of his pants.

Um, okay.

Yeah. Get me out of my pants and maybe climb all the time.

Yeah, whatever makes you more comfortable, Grandpa.

Okay. Is that okay?

You sure I'm not crushing you?

Okay.

I don't want to hurt you.

Goodness, Grandpa, careful. I don't want you to hurt yourself.

Yeah.

I'm doing it okay?

Oh, you're doing great, baby, for sure.

Uh -huh.

Where'd you learn how to do that?

Um, I don't know if I should tell you, Grandpa.

Okay, what would you like?

Doggy, I think I can do that.

Here.

Why don't you just bend right here.

Okay.

Are you sure your hips can take it?

I felt so good in my life. Okay.

I feel guilty if you hurt yourself.

me, Grandpa.

It's almost like when you'd spank me as a child.

I hope this is making you feel better.

I know you were having a difficult time at the nursing home.

You're so much better now.

Yeah.

Here.

I'm going to give you a foot job.

about how you loved rubbing on grandma's feet. So hopefully this will bring back

some pleasant memories for you.

How's that?

You like my feet, Grandpa?

closer to you now.

Okay, well.

So how about the kids?

Okay, now you got to stay put because mom's coming to pick you up.

And mom's going to take you back to the nursing home because you weren't

supposed to leave.

So I think she's going to be here any minute. So we should probably get ready.

Oh, fuck that nursing home.

Sorry, grandpa, but you got to go get ready. All right.

You're still going to come visit me again, right? Of course.

I'll visit you, Grandpa.

Yeah, I know.

I'll come visit you.

Hi,

Grandpa.