Original subtitles

(upbeat music)

- Wider bike paths mean more bikes less cars.

Everybody wins.

- That is perfect.

Okay, I need someone who can move

this project over the goal line.

Johnson?

- Huh?

- Strap on your armor and get in there!

- Huh.

- [Man] And you collected all these seashells?

The big one over there and the small ones

in that coffee can?

- [Woman] That's right, Fred.

I collected all of them even the broken ones in that sack.

- [Fred] Delightful.

Well, there you have it.

No wonder my show is called Everyday Wows.

(laughing)

- How can you listen to that?

- It's called streaming audio.

Since we don't have a public radio station in Greenville,

it's the best we can do.

- Public radio?

If it was up to the public, we'd be hearing

Howard Stern foxy boxing some lesbians.

- Ugh.

Ubuntu, where's that squash?

- Someone's thinking about a girl.

- Huh?

It's true.

I like Tanya.

I'm gonna tell her I like her.

Maybe build her something.

A dirt bike.

Then, I'll ask her to the spring formal.

- The shortest path to a woman's heart

isn't always a straight line.

Your father declared his feelings on our second date,

and it kind of nauseated me.

- If you wanna land Tanya, you might need

a more sophisticated approach.

She is in model congress, Ubuntu.

- Huh, this is troubling.

- Don't worry.

I know this game inside and out.

I'll help you.

(door opens)

(sighs)

- I got passed over for the bike project.

It's so frustrating.

Nobody takes me seriously.

- Hmm, maybe you should've put on your business leotard.

- Honey, just sit down and breathe deep.

I know what will make you feel better.

- [Fred] And for the cost of just one large

frozen cappuccino a day with three shots

of espresso and a croissant,

you can support public broadcast radio.

- Ah, pledge drive.

(speech stuttering)

What, crashing again?

Oh, send report, send report.

No, no, no!

Why do we have to listen to public radio on our computer?

It's barbaric.

Why doesn't Greenville have a public radio affiliate?

- Because Greenville sucks in ways that defy

the laws of God and man.

- Someone needs to take charge and do something about that.

And someone will.

Me.

- You? - (laughs) You?

- Yes, I am going to bring public radio to Greenville,

and no one is going to take it away from me.

- Do it, Gerald!

Could you imagine?

Public radio here in Greenville.

(violin music)

- To culture.

- [All] Agreed.

- Great leadership, Gerald.

- Yeah, I get it, I get it.

You're straight.

Now, stop touching her.

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

♪ The Goode Family ♪

- Public radio here in Greenville?

Okay, this is big.

We need to get our best person on this right away.

Find Johnson and make sure...

- Sir, the best person is standing in front of you

in huaraches and a poncho.

- You?

- I've already contacted public broadcast radio

and looked into eligibility.

We meet the population requirement

and we have an institution of higher learning.

- We do?

- Yeah, Greenville Community College.

- Right.

Great!

- All we need is $100,000 license fee.

Which we can raise through our own pledge drive.

Mugs, tote bags, the whole nine yards.

Public radio is even sending one of their top

fundraisers to help out.

- Gerald, get me public radio.

- Okay, Ubuntu there's Tanya.

Let's bag her.

She's...

Hold on.

Steve.

Hey.

- Whatever.

- That was weird.

- No, that was strategic.

Make the girl think you're not interested.

You need to make yourself a challenge for her.

Like Steve is for me.

- Seem uninterested.

Okay.

- And the stupid dance thing you wanna go to,

you need to make fun of it.

Because you have an edge.

- Oh god.

Not interested in you!

Dancing's stupid!

I have edge!

Whatever!

Can I ask her to the dance now?

- I'm finally a professional fundraiser.

Do you really think I can raise $100,000 tonight?

- You once composted a Charleston Chew.

You can do this, Gerald.

I've been thinking.

You know, anyone can look at art,

but where can you hear art?

How about Picture This with Helen Goode?

- You know, I might just greenlight that.

That's how program directors talk.

Everybody this is Irwin Winslow

from public radio headquarters.

- Public radio is supported by listeners just like you.

And our research shows that listeners, like you,

see themselves as smart,

intelligent,

and independent thinking.

Try to massage those into each call.

That's what I'd like to see.

- Let's make it happen Greenville.

- Well, is your mommy or daddy home?

- I like music too.

- No, I'm not in India.

Prove it?

- [Man] Five dollars?

- Did I mention the tote bags?

- Nobody's giving us money.

(phone beeps)

- You are cute.

Are you almost finished up with your shift?

Hmm?

- Yes, well it sounds like you're smart

to keep your cats in separate rooms.

Uh-huh.

Well, Ruth it's been nice chatting,

but now I need you to open your checkbook.

You will?

What's that?

Oh, you don't like to give money over the phone.

Then, sit tight I'm coming over.

Every donation gets us that much closer to our goal.

Naturally, the bigger the donation...

- I would like to help.

It's just that my husband always took care of the finances.

- And what better way to honor him,

then to give till it hurts.

$10,000!

- Did I write 10,000?

I've always had trouble with zeros.

Sorry, about that.

Here you go.

(yawns)

- Hmm?

- Everybody I think it's about time we packed it in

because I just got a donation for the whole 100,000.

- Let me see.

(crowd cheering)

- Bunny! - Sheryl!

Oh, thank god.

- You give me a kiss.

- Looks like you're gonna be running

your own station, Gerald.

- My own station.

Okay, stud let's go blow some minds.

- You're gonna do great, honey.

How could you not with high-minded shows

that elevate the human spirit,

like my show Picture This.

- I'm finally being taken seriously, Helen.

Maybe I should start pronouncing my name Geralld.

- I know you're worried about Tanya,

but this radio thing is just what you needed.

Model congress girls love public radio.

God knows why.

- Really?

- Totally.

Just have Mom get you on the air

and Tanya will know how tapped in you are.

- So, that's better than just talking to her.

Huh.

- Of course, I'll air Fred Ridley's Everyday Wows everyday.

Beyond that, the schedule gets a little daunting, but...

- Don't worry.

HQ has 95% of your schedule locked in.

You'll be buying shows from Minneapolis,

San Francisco, and all the other affiliates.

- Wow, so for $100,000 we get all these Air-On chairs

and programming.

- Exactly, more or less.

It's complicated.

But that's why you have HQ to lean on.

All you have to worry about is picking out your best bowtie.

- I don't wear bowties.

- HQ likes bowties.

- [Woman] Attention One Earth shoppers,

Gerald Goode of Greenville public radio

is standing 18 feet from register six.

- Gerald!

You made the big board.

- Helen, Gerald come have a cup of Joe on me!

- Oh, well I'll have a large half caf soychiato for here.

One to go for later,

and could you put a bunch of those liquid sugars

into a bag, please.

- A free coffee's the least I can do for the man

who brought us public radio.

- But my coffee was already free.

Do you have some kind of IOU maybe?

- So, Gerald, Jen and I were thinking about

doing a lesbian talk show called Sapphic Traffic.

Huh, what do you think?

- Here's a demo of me playing Captain & Tennille songs

on an African kalimba.

It's ironic but it kicks ass too.

- Everybody quiet down, Fred Ridley's on!

- [Fred] Hi folks, your pal Fred Ridley here.

I wanna start things off with a big Everyday Wow

welcome to our newest affiliate in Greenville.

(people cheering) - Aw yeah!

- Now, heads up Greenville 'cause I'll be dropping

in for a visit next week

and I'll be bringing along master stentorian

J.P. Wanamaker and of course the Hootenanny String Band.

Delightful.

Now, today I wanna tell you all a little story

about a fella.

Well, a fella who knows how to stack a proper wood pile.

♪ Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care ♪

♪ My massa's gone away ♪

- I'm not allowed to watch Buckwheat,

a comedy genius,

but this is okay?

Explain to me again why this isn't offensive?

- Gladly.

Fred Ridley so identifies with the oppressed

that he cannot only say the words negro spiritual,

he can obviously sing one.

- And he's my lead-in.

- What's your show about?

- I describe paintings.

- Okay, have you practiced your sign-off?

- This is Helen Goode for public radio.

- Tone it down a notch, and it'll be perfect.

Now, break a leg.

My own station.

(steam hissing)

- Gah!

- Gerald, just in time.

Who's up for a raw milk latte?

- This is beautiful.

Where did it come from?

Was it a gift?

- Well, technically everything public radio gets is a gift.

But it was augmented by a new revenue stream from HQ.

Check this out.

- [Woman] A car that says more about you

than you could possibly ever say yourself.

Europe has a new way of saying luxury

and you have a new way of driving it.

- Commercials, on public radio?

- Gerald you know you can't run commercials.

That was corporate sponsorship in a 30-second spot.

Ah, trying to keep me on my toes, huh?

Well, no wonder HQ is keeping an eye on you.

In a good way, not an Orwellian way.

- Mr. Goode.

- Ruth, hello.

What can I do for you?

- Well.

- Oh, if you listeners could just see this painting.

Picture this tension versus resolution.

And with some red streaks.

(knocking)

Ubuntu, why don't you describe this statue

to our listeners.

- Statue is beautiful.

It makes me feel like anything is possible.

Inspires me to be a better person.

I wanna take statue for a long walk.

And pick blueberries.

Statue reminds me of Tanya.

- Gerald, I was just hitting my stride.

What's the problem?

- It's Ruth.

I was so dynamic in my sales pitch

that she donated more than she can afford.

Now, thanks to me, she's losing her house.

- Mom, I'm out of art.

Can I talk about cars?

- Oh that poor woman, we have to get her money back.

But what's gonna happen to the station?

And my show?

- We could lose everything.

But it's my responsibility to figure something out.

This bow tie feels heavier every day,

but that's the price of leadership.

I know what I have to do.

- I hear you Gerald, and my heart goes out to Ruth.

Let me see what we can do.

Nah, nothing.

I'm afraid it's not possible.

- It's always possible to do the right thing.

I was thinking with the different

revenue streams you mentioned.

- Oh, we can't tap into those for reasons

way above both of our heads.

- Well, I know public radio's finances are a bit byzantine

but we have to find a way to return Ruth's money.

- Gerald, it's gone!

The money's gone!

(steam hissing)

Self cleaning.

- This will sound bizarre but it was almost

like the money was more important to him

than anything else.

There's something very wrong.

It's not just Ruth's money,

it's the other revenue streams.

It's like Irwin is running a casino not a radio station.

Helen, I think we might be dealing with a rogue agent here.

- Oh my god, what are we gonna do?

- Well, I'm the station manager

so this is what I'm going to do.

I'm going over Irwin's head.

When Fred Ridley gets here,

I'll show him the facts.

Only I don't know the facts.

(instrumental music)

So, if you give the HQ a dollar,

and the HQ gives Minneapolis a dollar,

but not the same dollar,

then, there's a dollar left over.

I think I'm on to something.

- Oh, Bliss, hey.

- Yeah, exactly.

Hey.

- This poster.

Snacks, punch.

God, these school-sponsored dances are so lame.

- Lamest.

- Yeah, I think I might go.

To make fun of how crappy it is.

- Whatever.

Yes! Yes!

Guess who's meeting Steve at the stupid dance on Saturday?

I need you to do my hair.

- Listen, next time you order a Maine lobster

don't be surprised if it has a Boston accent.

(laughing)

Delightful.

- Fred, I have here an honorary

Associate in Arts degree for you.

- Fred, there was something I wanted to discuss.

It's about the donor who gave us the $100,000.

- I heard about that.

Cracker Jack work, Gerald.

- Unfortunately, it seems she needs that money back.

- As I tried to explain to Gerald,

there's just no way to pay her back.

But he doesn't understand.

- What I do understand is that public radio

isn't just about money.

But I think Irwin here may have lost sight of that.

- Maybe you're right, Gerald.

This is something we can't dwell and reflect upon too much.

So, about that degree.

- Actually, I figured out a way to give the money back.

Now, I can't claim to understand every detail,

but if you really track where all the money is going.

- Gerald, I'm gonna stop you right there.

You're absolutely right.

We're giving that money back to this Ruth

because it's the right thing to do.

- Well, thank you, Fred, I...

- Don't waste time thanking me.

I want you to go get that kindly old lady

on the phone right now, and put this right.

I'd do it myself, but I need to take

someone to the woodshed.

You go on now.

You always were a smalltime, Irwin.

- I gotta earn.

- You're gonna have that boy scout banging

the drum about some old widow over 100 grand?!

We get that for one Crumbly Crisp spot.

I am not going back into the marketplace.

They've got criteria!

Have you ever had a ratings book thrown at you

by a station manager?

Well, I have!

Public radio owes you a debt of gratitude.

And we wanna show our thanks with a promotion.

To be honest, I think your creative talents

are being wasted as a station manager.

- Yeah, I never could get a handle on the financial part.

Nothing ever seemed to add up.

- Well, you just forget about all those numbers.

They're Kent's problem now.

- That's my kind of problem.

Besides Gerald, I need you to sink your teeth

into that bike project.

- Really?

- And we still need your help at public radio

on the front lines.

Listening at home,

giving your objective take on the job we're doing.

Here is your listening journal.

You keep us on our toes now.

- I won't let you down.

- There she is.

- Ubuntu don't talk to her yet.

Let me lay some groundwork first.

I'll tell her that whole statue reminds me of Tanya

thing was you being ironic.

- You look nice.

- Yeah, you too.

- Thanks.

- Did you see Mr. Thompson's hair?

- I like you.

- I heard you on the radio.

I'm not scared of you anymore.

- Dance with me?

- I'd like that.

- Son of a...

I like you.

Dance with me?

- What?

(gentle music)

- [Fred] So, the whole bowl of fruit is fake?

The apple, the pear, even those little cherries?

- [Woman] That's right, Fred.

It's all plastic fruit.

- [Fred] Oh, you oughta see this stuff folks.

Delightful.

- He said delightful again.

Drink!

- [Both] Delightful!

- At least they're listening.

Thanks to you.

- And I'm going to make sure people keep listening

by maintaining strict quality control.

Super job.

- [Fred] Next, I'm gonna share a princely repast

with the king of railroad bums.

Even in this economy, just about everybody

can afford a dandelion stew.

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

♪ The Goode Family ♪