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1
00:00:02,978 --> 00:00:06,755
(upbeat instrumental music)
2
00:00:08,325 --> 00:00:10,709
- Sculpt from the heart, Ubuntu.
3
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,711
Each piece we make
could raise enough
4
00:00:12,722 --> 00:00:15,172
money to save another narwhal.
5
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:17,141
The unicorn of the sea.
6
00:00:20,712 --> 00:00:22,179
(groans)
7
00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:24,325
- Mine looks nothing
like it's supposed to.
8
00:00:24,349 --> 00:00:25,849
- Of course it does,
Ubuntu, it looks
9
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:29,186
exactly like a narwhal ash...
10
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:30,520
Coffee...
11
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,189
- Toothbrush holder.
12
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:34,408
It's supposed to be a
narwhal toothbrush holder.
13
00:00:34,485 --> 00:00:36,193
I suck at pottery.
14
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:37,569
(grunts)
15
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:38,704
Clay...
16
00:00:38,781 --> 00:00:40,113
- Good, Ubuntu, good.
17
00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:42,532
Artists need to
express themselves.
18
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:46,170
Okay you got rid of
all that frustration,
19
00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:47,671
now we can get back to...
20
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,331
(grunts)
21
00:00:49,407 --> 00:00:51,260
Doesn't that feel
better, I guess...
22
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:52,542
(objects clatter)
23
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,595
Oh, you still have
some more, huh?
24
00:00:55,914 --> 00:00:57,776
- [Helen] Priced to
start a bidding war,
25
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,216
how's it going, Bliss?
26
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:02,219
- Eh, good enough,
now I can put saved
27
00:01:02,295 --> 00:01:04,346
the narwhals on my
college application,
28
00:01:04,422 --> 00:01:06,223
snag a scholarship,
and dodge having
29
00:01:06,299 --> 00:01:08,558
to go to Greenville
Community College.
30
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:09,946
(Ubuntu groans)
(clay thuds)
31
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:10,894
- [Ubuntu] Clay!
32
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,229
- Is everything okay out there?
33
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:13,897
- Oh yes, everything is fine.
34
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:15,232
- [Ubuntu] Clays!
35
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:16,191
- Why, is everything
okay in there?
36
00:01:16,268 --> 00:01:17,284
(groans)
37
00:01:19,437 --> 00:01:19,590
- [Announcer] Now
returning to our coverage
38
00:01:19,591 --> 00:01:20,711
of the Bass Master's Open.
39
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,906
Williamson is reeling
it in, and nothing.
40
00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:24,741
- Damn.
41
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:25,752
(can shatters)
42
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:26,710
Woah!
43
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:28,203
(tires squeal)
44
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,298
(gentle tribal music)
45
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:38,305
- Ubuntu, there's no
need to hide behind
46
00:01:38,382 --> 00:01:40,298
the Punu mask of virility.
47
00:01:40,375 --> 00:01:43,260
- Should be called a Punu
mask of sucking at pottery.
48
00:01:43,336 --> 00:01:45,336
And everything else
you try and teach me.
49
00:01:45,380 --> 00:01:46,930
It's because I'm adopted.
50
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,391
- Adopted or not,
you are a Goode.
51
00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:51,287
- That's right, it
all comes down to
52
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,687
nature, versus nurture, Ubuntu.
53
00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:55,781
We just have to nurture
you a little more,
54
00:01:55,858 --> 00:01:58,191
and find something
that's right for you.
55
00:01:58,268 --> 00:02:00,869
(doorbell rings)
56
00:02:02,397 --> 00:02:04,656
- We found your narwhal
toothbrush holder in our yard.
57
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,616
- Keep it, clay pissed me off.
58
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:10,170
- Apparently your 300 pound
kiln pissed you off too.
59
00:02:10,247 --> 00:02:13,582
- Sorry Ray, Ubuntu was
just expressing himself.
60
00:02:13,658 --> 00:02:15,292
- Yeah, we saw that.
61
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,938
And we want Ubuntu to
express himself on the
62
00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:20,213
varsity football team,
with our son, Solosolo.
63
00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:24,217
- You mean tackle football,
like in the movies?
64
00:02:24,294 --> 00:02:25,813
- The team does
need help, and when
65
00:02:25,837 --> 00:02:27,771
I look at your boy
I see a kid with the
66
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:30,640
hip flection of the
silver backed gorilla.
67
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:32,609
He was born for this sport.
68
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,978
- So you think I won't
suck at football?
69
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,730
- Well, we appreciate
you stopping by,
70
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,580
but I think we're
done here, goodbye.
71
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,330
- What was that
Helen, you never slam
72
00:02:42,354 --> 00:02:43,737
the door when you're sober.
73
00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:45,416
- I grew up in a
football family,
74
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,325
it turns every one it touches
into raging psychotics.
75
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:49,879
One minute I'm
playing with my dolls,
76
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,494
the next I'm dressing
Ken as a Raider,
77
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,663
and burning him in
effigy, the Goode's are
78
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,507
not a football family.
79
00:02:58,036 --> 00:02:59,336
- Who's Ken?
80
00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:02,306
(upbeat tribal music)
81
00:03:04,876 --> 00:03:09,188
(choir singing in
foreign language)
82
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:22,275
♪ The Goode family ♪
83
00:03:22,352 --> 00:03:24,361
(gentle tribal music)
84
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,748
- Woah, Bliss,
that's quite a large
85
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,906
stack of dead trees.
86
00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,757
- My college guidance
counselor asked
87
00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:32,260
me to bring him a list
of my top choices,
88
00:03:32,353 --> 00:03:33,036
so I Googled, not Greenville
Community College,
89
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,829
and got a ton of hits.
90
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,374
- Well mock GCC all
you like, but it's the
91
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:41,637
one school where you, as a
student, can achieve tenure.
92
00:03:41,713 --> 00:03:44,547
(sighs)
93
00:03:44,624 --> 00:03:45,624
- [Ubuntu] Bye dad.
94
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:49,811
- Football Now?
95
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:54,399
- Sorry, everyone in
there looks like me.
96
00:03:55,885 --> 00:03:57,894
- I'll tell you what
kiddo, after school
97
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,781
why don't you and I check
out a football rehearsal?
98
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,953
I'm sure your mom
wasn't nearly as
99
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,944
adamant as I remember her being.
100
00:04:06,021 --> 00:04:07,329
- Really, yippee!
101
00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:09,373
- Hey!
102
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:10,407
- Ow!
103
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,417
- Hey!
104
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:12,450
- Ow!
105
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,752
- Ubuntu and football.
106
00:04:13,829 --> 00:04:15,912
I just didn't see it.
107
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,749
- I know a 3.7
GPA may not get me
108
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:20,583
a free ride in the Ivy
League, but I'm thinking
109
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:23,712
an elite liberal arts
college near the water?
110
00:04:23,788 --> 00:04:25,380
- Sorry Bliss but
this is one of the few
111
00:04:25,391 --> 00:04:28,633
times in history where it's
not a plus to be white.
112
00:04:28,710 --> 00:04:30,479
If you're not in the
top 5% of your class,
113
00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:33,430
your best hope is that the
mall opens a university.
114
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,432
(laughs)
115
00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:36,548
- But a 3.7 is an A-.
116
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,477
I save narwhals,
for God's sakes.
117
00:04:39,554 --> 00:04:42,731
- A college credit would look
good on your application.
118
00:04:42,807 --> 00:04:44,057
You could try taking a class
119
00:04:44,134 --> 00:04:45,942
at Greenville Community College.
120
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,028
- You want me to take
a class at Greenville?
121
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,707
The whole point is
to not go there.
122
00:04:49,731 --> 00:04:51,748
This has got to be
some kind of trap.
123
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,868
(dramatic orchestral music)
124
00:04:54,944 --> 00:04:58,496
(lightning crackles)
(gasps)
125
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:01,916
(metal gates slam)
126
00:05:01,993 --> 00:05:04,461
How do I get out of here?
127
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,838
- No one ever leaves
Greenville Community College.
128
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:11,134
(gasps)
(laughs)
129
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:13,478
(screams)
130
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,025
(screams)
131
00:05:20,645 --> 00:05:21,645
- Next.
132
00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:24,406
- Hut hut, hey.
133
00:05:24,483 --> 00:05:25,483
- Excuse me.
134
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:30,070
Mr. Coach, my son,
Ubuntu here...
135
00:05:30,146 --> 00:05:31,738
- Good God, please tell
me you can maintain
136
00:05:31,749 --> 00:05:33,490
a D average?
137
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,333
- Uh-huh.
138
00:05:34,409 --> 00:05:36,409
- So, you'll let him audition?
139
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:37,919
- Hell he's on the team.
140
00:05:38,905 --> 00:05:40,955
Lets try you out at left tackle.
141
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,750
Your job is to protect
the quarterback.
142
00:05:43,827 --> 00:05:45,919
- Protect, I wanna protect.
143
00:05:45,995 --> 00:05:48,004
- Great, listen up everyone.
144
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,766
This is Umbumshu, or something.
145
00:05:50,842 --> 00:05:52,351
He's our new left tackle.
146
00:05:58,508 --> 00:05:59,974
- Why hello, Ray.
147
00:06:00,051 --> 00:06:01,184
What are you doing here?
148
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:02,905
- Supporting the local
athletic program,
149
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:04,896
and my gambling habit.
150
00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,523
- Hut hut.
151
00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:07,899
Hike!
152
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:08,976
- Protect.
153
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:16,991
- Alright!
154
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:18,493
(players cheer)
155
00:06:18,504 --> 00:06:19,504
- [Player] Yeah!
156
00:06:19,571 --> 00:06:22,381
- Yeah, you're alright, man.
157
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,116
- Daddy!
158
00:06:24,167 --> 00:06:25,384
I'm good at football.
159
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:29,462
- Hey Gerald, I want you
to meet Brian Kennedy.
160
00:06:29,473 --> 00:06:30,847
- The guys call me Bri-Bri.
161
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:33,392
Man, your kids got
some skills, up high.
162
00:06:34,970 --> 00:06:36,395
Don't leave me hanging, stud.
163
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:40,065
- Oh, oh, well here you go.
164
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:42,767
- Nicely done.
165
00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:44,227
Say hi to the guys, Ger.
166
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,604
- Hello guys, and Mo, and Trish.
167
00:06:46,681 --> 00:06:48,523
- Yo, Gerald.
168
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,119
I'm glad you
finally grew a pair,
169
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,734
and got your boy on the field.
170
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:53,236
Welcome to the booster club.
171
00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,831
- Oh, I don't know
about joining anything,
172
00:06:55,907 --> 00:06:57,457
especially without Helen even...
173
00:06:57,534 --> 00:06:59,659
- It's free, Gerald.
174
00:06:59,736 --> 00:07:01,828
- I'm thinking Tac Chowie.
175
00:07:01,905 --> 00:07:03,683
- Bliss, I will not let
you change your name,
176
00:07:03,707 --> 00:07:06,174
so you can pretend to
be a Native American.
177
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:09,085
- But mom, colleges
go crazy for them.
178
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,753
Red is the new black.
179
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,964
- Why do Indians need
to go to college anyway?
180
00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:15,758
You need a degree to plant
corn, and deal Blackjack?
181
00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:17,519
- Dad, that's horrible.
182
00:07:17,596 --> 00:07:19,888
You are a horrible,
ignorant man,
183
00:07:19,964 --> 00:07:23,224
and clearly you know nothing
about Native American culture.
184
00:07:23,301 --> 00:07:27,195
- Actually the preferred
term is American Indian.
185
00:07:27,272 --> 00:07:28,396
- When did that happen?
186
00:07:28,473 --> 00:07:32,117
- [Gerald] Helen, we
have a surprise for you.
187
00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:34,903
(air horn blares)
188
00:07:34,979 --> 00:07:36,663
Go, Bulldogs!
189
00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:43,620
(shouts)
(figurine shatters)
190
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:46,831
- Tire, tire, tire, tire.
191
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,719
- Damn you Gerald,
you've let the genie out
192
00:07:48,743 --> 00:07:53,087
of the bottle, you've turned
us into a football family!
193
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,965
- Ubuntu's tried hard to
engage in our interests.
194
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,927
I think it's time
we engaged in his.
195
00:07:59,003 --> 00:08:02,639
- My grandson, a
varsity football player.
196
00:08:02,715 --> 00:08:06,902
Who knew adoption could
have a happy ending?
197
00:08:06,978 --> 00:08:09,696
- Mommy, look at
my touchdown dance.
198
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:18,655
(gentle instrumental music)
199
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:22,209
(crowd cheers and applauds)
200
00:08:26,781 --> 00:08:27,781
- Prayer circle.
201
00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,918
- Gerald, you got honors.
202
00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:34,671
- Oh, oh, okay.
203
00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:39,175
Dear higher power guy, or gal.
204
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,802
- His name is Jesus.
205
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:44,055
- Let me in, what Gerald
is trying to say, Lord,
206
00:08:44,066 --> 00:08:46,182
is that we thank you
for all your blessings,
207
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,318
and ask that you keep
our boys safe, and
208
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:51,354
help them kick the living
crapola out of the Mustangs!
209
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,708
- Amen!
- Amen!
210
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:54,658
(sighs)
211
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:04,033
- Know what would look good,
if you wore this over that.
212
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,368
Hey!
213
00:09:05,445 --> 00:09:07,879
You look like you were
born to wear that.
214
00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,165
- I know.
215
00:09:11,242 --> 00:09:13,209
- Z 88, trips right, on three.
216
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,636
- [Players] Break!
217
00:09:14,713 --> 00:09:16,087
- I'm gonna need
some time, Ubuntu.
218
00:09:16,098 --> 00:09:17,931
- Then time you shall have.
219
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,560
- Chili Bulldog coming through.
220
00:09:24,047 --> 00:09:27,849
- Lovely day for a
game, that's all it is.
221
00:09:27,925 --> 00:09:29,767
Nothing to get crazy about.
222
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:31,811
- Hut hut, hike.
223
00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:33,104
- Protect.
224
00:09:33,181 --> 00:09:36,825
(crowd cheers)
(dramatic orchestral music)
225
00:09:38,436 --> 00:09:39,986
- What's happening?
226
00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:42,405
Which one's Ubuntu,
is he winning?
227
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:46,251
(crowd cheers and applauds)
228
00:09:48,738 --> 00:09:49,798
- That's what I'm talking about.
229
00:09:49,822 --> 00:09:51,164
- Hey!
230
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:53,592
(grumbles)
231
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,677
- Not this again.
232
00:09:57,455 --> 00:09:59,339
Yeah, that's right,
this is our house!
233
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,090
Our house!
234
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,809
Bulldogs, number one!
235
00:10:08,925 --> 00:10:10,986
- So Gerald, I stuffed
a turkey into a cow,
236
00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,268
want a slab?
237
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,395
- Oh, none for me, thanks.
238
00:10:14,472 --> 00:10:17,106
I'm completely
stuffed with grapes.
239
00:10:17,183 --> 00:10:18,691
- Ubuntu, I was blown away when
240
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:20,860
you picked up the
backer on that loop.
241
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,704
- By any means necessary.
242
00:10:22,781 --> 00:10:24,405
- You kidding me, my
grandson knows how
243
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:26,324
to block inside out.
244
00:10:26,401 --> 00:10:28,003
- And killer power
jab step on that
245
00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:29,786
sweep out of the I formation.
246
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:31,432
- Who audible the
quarterback option
247
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:32,933
to the weak side when
you murped the murped
248
00:10:32,957 --> 00:10:34,791
the murp for a touch murp.
249
00:10:34,867 --> 00:10:36,011
- Murp, murp murp,
strong jab step.
250
00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:37,460
- Pulled a murp formation.
251
00:10:37,537 --> 00:10:39,295
- Murp murp, murp, murp, get it.
252
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,432
- Murp till they murp.
253
00:10:40,456 --> 00:10:41,714
And murp the murpity murps.
254
00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:42,965
- Murp, murp, murp.
255
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,258
- And you murp, murp.
256
00:10:44,335 --> 00:10:46,803
- Murp, what do
you think, daddy?
257
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:49,439
- Well I thought we played well
258
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:52,067
but we just need a
better field goalie.
259
00:10:53,261 --> 00:10:54,352
(groans)
260
00:10:54,429 --> 00:10:56,312
(laughs)
261
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,480
- Field goalie.
262
00:10:57,557 --> 00:11:00,817
Ubuntu your old man's
a real crack up.
263
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,110
- My head.
264
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,861
My bottom!
265
00:11:03,938 --> 00:11:07,782
- So, you joining us for our
father-son pre-game retreat?
266
00:11:07,859 --> 00:11:09,470
- It's a great way to
bond with the kids,
267
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:10,494
but it's fun too.
268
00:11:10,528 --> 00:11:12,370
Bring your gun if you want.
269
00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:14,497
- While that does
sound lovely, I...
270
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,332
- Father-son retreat?
271
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:17,409
Yay!
272
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,419
- Sure.
273
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,431
- Welcome to the club buddy.
274
00:11:20,455 --> 00:11:21,805
- Hey Gerald, you the man.
275
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:23,681
- Team looks good
now, but they're
276
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,894
gonna have their hands
full against PS 146 High.
277
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:28,344
Worst school in the district,
278
00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:31,514
which means great athletes,
with nothing to lose.
279
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:34,183
- Wait, how bad a
school are we talking?
280
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,102
Like if someone transferred
there with a 3.7,
281
00:11:36,179 --> 00:11:38,271
they'd be the top
of their class?
282
00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:39,698
- If they didn't get shot.
283
00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:45,903
(metal detector beeps)
(sirens blare)
284
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,550
- And I really feel
I'd benefit from
285
00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:48,773
attending a school with such a
286
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,334
rich history, and
diverse culture.
287
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,953
(alarm blares)
288
00:11:53,964 --> 00:11:57,373
(taser buzzes)
289
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:58,541
(laughs)
290
00:11:58,618 --> 00:11:59,917
- I bet you would like that.
291
00:11:59,994 --> 00:12:01,263
Rocket to the top of
the class, and have
292
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,880
your pick of any university.
293
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:05,840
- Well, okay.
294
00:12:05,851 --> 00:12:08,017
I mean, if it goes along
with the diversity.
295
00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:10,270
- Other high achievers
have had the same idea.
296
00:12:12,131 --> 00:12:13,556
Oh, oh, very nice.
297
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,850
Which is why I must
insist on a substantial
298
00:12:15,927 --> 00:12:20,780
transfer fee, to weed
out the less motivated.
299
00:12:21,933 --> 00:12:23,118
Here's the wiring instructions,
300
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:24,453
make sure to get the
routing number right.
301
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,244
- I don't have
this kind of money.
302
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,362
- Sorry, Ms. Goode,
but you're clearly
303
00:12:28,439 --> 00:12:31,032
not PS 146 material.
304
00:12:31,108 --> 00:12:33,910
You could take a class at
Greenville Community College.
305
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:35,870
Anyone can get in there.
306
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:38,998
(chair buzzes)
307
00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:41,501
(phone beeps)
308
00:12:41,577 --> 00:12:42,938
- Are you the wife
of Jim Heller,
309
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:45,254
the Bobcats football coach?
310
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,223
Well I'm sleeping
with your husband.
311
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,979
- Wow, Helen, you
are really going all
312
00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:53,930
out to support Ubuntu.
313
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:55,192
I wish I could just
jump into this world
314
00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:57,558
with both feet, like you have.
315
00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,852
- Man up Goode, and get
your head in the game.
316
00:12:59,929 --> 00:13:01,896
It's not about you,
it's about the team.
317
00:13:01,973 --> 00:13:04,365
So suck it up, and do
what you have to do.
318
00:13:06,894 --> 00:13:08,152
- You're right.
319
00:13:08,229 --> 00:13:11,155
I need to find a way to
connect with these guys.
320
00:13:11,232 --> 00:13:13,917
I know, I'll bring my
mandolin to the retreat.
321
00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:14,993
Oh, and my yoga mat.
322
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:22,291
- Gerald, whatever happens
this football season,
323
00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:24,544
just remember I love you.
324
00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:25,804
And you love me, right?
325
00:13:26,956 --> 00:13:29,298
- Are you coming on to me?
326
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,133
- [Players] My team
is my best friend!
327
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,386
Bulldogs till we die!
328
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,972
- Yes!
- Bulldogs, Bulldogs!
329
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,048
(laughs)
330
00:13:38,159 --> 00:13:40,184
- Bri-Bri, maybe
your son needs a hug.
331
00:13:40,195 --> 00:13:42,030
- No, I ain't got
a kid on the team.
332
00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:44,981
- You don't have a
son, and Ray doesn't?
333
00:13:45,057 --> 00:13:47,316
What about you
guys, where's Kevin?
334
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:50,453
- Kevin thinks football is gay.
335
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,613
- Okay.
336
00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:55,950
Alright everyone, you know
what would be really fun?
337
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:56,961
Yoga.
338
00:14:00,415 --> 00:14:02,549
- I think the Cincinnati
Bengals do yoga,
339
00:14:02,625 --> 00:14:03,625
lets do it!
340
00:14:03,668 --> 00:14:04,500
- Yeah!
341
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:07,962
(group cheers)
342
00:14:08,039 --> 00:14:09,213
- [Helen] This needs blood.
343
00:14:10,291 --> 00:14:12,060
- I can't believe
it's come to this,
344
00:14:12,084 --> 00:14:13,437
but I need you to sign
my permission form,
345
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:16,053
so I can take a class at GCC.
346
00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:18,514
It's my only hope of
getting a scholarship.
347
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,391
- Now, I have to sign it now?
348
00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:23,152
Homecoming is tomorrow,
I have so much to do.
349
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:25,864
Fine.
350
00:14:29,027 --> 00:14:31,694
- Helen, Go Bulldogs, Goode?
351
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,121
Really?
352
00:14:33,197 --> 00:14:35,077
- So when our boys
open their lockers,
353
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:36,585
they'll find these
cute personalized
354
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,534
water bottles wrapped in
Bulldog blue cellophane.
355
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,378
(laughs)
356
00:14:40,455 --> 00:14:42,079
- That is so cute.
357
00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,339
You know what else is cute?
358
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:47,001
Losing, we need to get serious.
359
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,085
- Excuse me, Helen...
360
00:14:48,162 --> 00:14:49,971
- Don't use my real name.
361
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,733
- Now this pose
is normally called
362
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:57,011
downward dog, but
today I'm calling
363
00:14:57,088 --> 00:14:59,221
it downward Bulldog.
364
00:14:59,298 --> 00:15:02,567
(group cheers and barks)
365
00:15:04,553 --> 00:15:06,353
- Thanks for being
a football dad.
366
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:12,652
- Well, I guess everyone
knows what time it is now.
367
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:14,996
- [Group] Kill, kill, kill!
368
00:15:15,073 --> 00:15:17,198
- Hold on guys, how
about instead of kill,
369
00:15:17,274 --> 00:15:20,201
lets chant outplay, outplay?
370
00:15:20,277 --> 00:15:21,797
- No, no, Gerald,
it's time for the
371
00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:25,706
annual homecoming tradition,
of killing the pig.
372
00:15:25,783 --> 00:15:27,302
- [Mo] Yeah!
- [Ray] About time!
373
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,418
- [Trish] Alright!
374
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:32,305
(ominous instrumental music)
375
00:15:36,377 --> 00:15:37,685
- [Group] Kill, kill, kill!
376
00:15:38,629 --> 00:15:40,021
- I love football!
377
00:15:41,265 --> 00:15:44,016
- I can't let you
do that, Bri-Bri.
378
00:15:44,093 --> 00:15:45,267
- Meat is murder.
379
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,487
- Excuse me, we have
to kill this pig.
380
00:15:47,563 --> 00:15:49,157
We've been doing
it for 50 years,
381
00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:50,648
and in that time, the Bulldogs
382
00:15:50,725 --> 00:15:52,608
haven't lost a homecoming game.
383
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:55,778
- Be that as it may, you're
not doing it this time.
384
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:56,779
- Actually I am.
385
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,447
- Actually you're not.
386
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,158
- If you're so sure,
then what am I doing now?
387
00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:04,078
Come on, you're ruining it.
388
00:16:04,155 --> 00:16:05,454
Let me in there.
389
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,456
(shouts)
390
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:09,258
- Protect.
391
00:16:09,335 --> 00:16:11,594
(grunts)
392
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:14,130
(group gasps)
393
00:16:14,206 --> 00:16:15,631
- Alright everyone listen up.
394
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:19,051
I joined the boosters to
support my son, Ubuntu.
395
00:16:19,128 --> 00:16:21,303
And I was willing
to put up with the
396
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,472
high five-ing, the
buttocks slapping,
397
00:16:23,549 --> 00:16:26,183
and the confusing
conversations about
398
00:16:26,260 --> 00:16:28,060
which time a Seuss
tells stories with
399
00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:29,570
the happiest endings.
400
00:16:31,432 --> 00:16:32,648
But no longer.
401
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,151
I will not be part
of the slaughtering
402
00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:36,995
of this, or any pig.
403
00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:40,364
Wake up little guy.
404
00:16:40,441 --> 00:16:44,002
Go live out the rest of
your gentle life in peace.
405
00:16:47,114 --> 00:16:49,165
(pig squeals)
(Gerald screams)
406
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:50,458
Get him off, get him off.
407
00:16:50,534 --> 00:16:51,384
(squeals)
408
00:16:51,461 --> 00:16:52,710
- See this is what happens.
409
00:16:52,787 --> 00:16:55,013
(squeals)
410
00:17:00,294 --> 00:17:02,020
- Shh, little piggy.
411
00:17:03,130 --> 00:17:04,188
Dad, lets go.
412
00:17:06,184 --> 00:17:10,695
It's okay piggy.
413
00:17:14,683 --> 00:17:16,692
- Now lets show
some Bulldog pride.
414
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:17,860
All of you!
415
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,195
Bulldog!
416
00:17:19,271 --> 00:17:20,271
- [Moms] Pride.
417
00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:22,865
- I said Bulldog!
418
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,366
- [Moms] Pride!
419
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:25,659
- I thought so.
420
00:17:25,736 --> 00:17:27,328
Now lets lay down
that spike strip
421
00:17:27,338 --> 00:17:30,048
so the Bob kittens have
to walk to the game.
422
00:17:36,455 --> 00:17:37,505
- Helen?
423
00:17:37,581 --> 00:17:38,724
What are you doing?
424
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,525
- Winning, what
does it look like?
425
00:17:42,378 --> 00:17:44,887
Hey, you kidnapped
the Bobcat's mascot.
426
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,189
Nice work.
427
00:17:47,216 --> 00:17:48,724
- It's not their mascot,
it was our sacrificial
428
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,726
pig for victory.
429
00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,070
- Then we should kill it.
430
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,583
- Helen, what in the
world has gotten into you?
431
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,898
- Love of the game.
432
00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:57,055
Do you have it, do ya?
433
00:17:58,227 --> 00:17:59,777
- No, Helen, I don't.
434
00:17:59,854 --> 00:18:02,121
I tried, but I just
can't do it anymore,
435
00:18:02,198 --> 00:18:04,573
and clearly neither can you.
436
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,167
(sighs)
437
00:18:06,244 --> 00:18:08,244
- I tried to warn you.
438
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,088
- I know honey, but it's over.
439
00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:15,918
Ubuntu, I'm sorry, but we
just aren't a football family.
440
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:18,137
(groans)
441
00:18:20,791 --> 00:18:22,258
(Ted clears throat)
442
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:24,260
- This is intro to
personal finance.
443
00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:26,314
I'm Ted Brisk and I've
been a professor here
444
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:29,390
for 15 years, but
compared to some of
445
00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:32,268
the faces I see, that
makes me a newbie.
446
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:34,612
(class laughs)
447
00:18:38,809 --> 00:18:42,319
(lightning crackles)
(chains rattle)
448
00:18:42,396 --> 00:18:45,748
(dramatic orchestral music)
449
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:51,129
(fire alarm blares)
(screams)
450
00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:56,592
(groans)
451
00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:03,141
- Look, it's the football
team, and the boosters.
452
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:07,970
- On star, on star,
we are being attacked.
453
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,680
On star, where are you?
454
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:12,308
- Ubuntu, we've been
looking all over for you.
455
00:19:12,384 --> 00:19:13,495
The game's about to start.
456
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:16,154
- Sorry, I can't
support pig murder.
457
00:19:18,307 --> 00:19:20,575
- Ah man, we were
going to state.
458
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:29,876
- I think there could
be a compromise.
459
00:19:31,028 --> 00:19:32,703
- Torture the pig.
460
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,830
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
461
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:37,333
I was thinking if
you made the pig your
462
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:40,002
mascot, instead of
killing it, Ubuntu
463
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,221
would be willing to
play on the team.
464
00:19:42,298 --> 00:19:44,182
- It's the only way I'll play.
465
00:19:49,672 --> 00:19:51,472
(crowd cheers)
466
00:19:51,548 --> 00:19:52,548
Protect!
467
00:19:53,717 --> 00:19:57,320
(dramatic orchestral music)
468
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:03,525
(crowd cheers and applauds)
469
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,744
(air horn blares)
470
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:06,665
- So what do you say,
Ger-Ger, you back
471
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:07,863
with the boosters?
472
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:10,324
- Well, I do want
to support the team,
473
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:13,211
but there can be no
more touching my bottom.
474
00:20:14,956 --> 00:20:18,257
- Okay Gerald, then lets
seal the deal, up high.
475
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:21,669
(groans)
476
00:20:21,745 --> 00:20:22,878
- There you are.
477
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,099
We heard you were
involved in a little
478
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:25,923
incident at the college.
479
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,299
- Yeah.
480
00:20:27,376 --> 00:20:28,425
I kind of lost it.
481
00:20:28,502 --> 00:20:29,885
- It's genetic.
482
00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,313
- Well unfortunately
there is a zero
483
00:20:32,390 --> 00:20:34,390
tolerance policy
for tampering with
484
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:36,767
the fire alarm, that's
how Professor Jenkins
485
00:20:36,778 --> 00:20:39,520
finally got fired,
but the school has
486
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,897
agreed not to press
charges if you
487
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:45,359
agree to never step foot
on the campus again.
488
00:20:45,436 --> 00:20:47,276
- Really, you mean
I couldn't go to
489
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,404
Greenville Community,
even if I wanted to?
490
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,480
- Nope.
491
00:20:49,523 --> 00:20:50,523
- Yes, yes!
492
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:52,501
Yes!
493
00:20:53,861 --> 00:20:55,536
So now what do I do?
494
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:56,337
(whistle blows)
495
00:20:56,414 --> 00:20:58,339
- What, crap call, ref.
496
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,380
Why don't I just
wait in the car?
497
00:21:04,747 --> 00:21:08,808
(crowd cheers)
(air horn blares)
498
00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:13,896
(upbeat instrumental music)
499
00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:34,625
(choir singing in
foreign language)
500
00:21:38,197 --> 00:21:41,299
♪ The Goode family ♪
34469
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