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1
00:00:02,686 --> 00:00:04,161
(upbeat music)
2
00:00:04,237 --> 00:00:05,704
- Thank you, all, for coming to
3
00:00:05,781 --> 00:00:08,832
this special art council event.
4
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:11,752
Milan Croshevitz
has bestowed upon us
5
00:00:11,828 --> 00:00:15,172
a piece as moving
as it is relevant.
6
00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:19,676
It is my distinct pleasure
to present to you "Song."
7
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:22,637
(people gasping)
- Devastating!
8
00:00:22,714 --> 00:00:23,472
- Is it genius?
9
00:00:23,548 --> 00:00:25,149
It sounds genius.
10
00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:27,105
- And in closing,
let's offer thanks
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00:00:27,177 --> 00:00:29,227
to the Greenville
Community Art Council.
12
00:00:29,304 --> 00:00:30,854
(people clapping)
13
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:32,740
Because anyone can create art,
14
00:00:32,816 --> 00:00:35,034
but not just anyone can buy it.
15
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,403
- I should be over there.
16
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:39,529
I love art.
17
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:40,864
I care about art.
18
00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,657
I majored in art.
19
00:00:42,734 --> 00:00:44,367
Be sure to check out
our website tomorrow
20
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,255
to view pictures
from the after party.
21
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:47,788
Hopefully they aren't
as incriminating
22
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,717
as the ones from last
week's game night.
23
00:00:49,741 --> 00:00:52,250
(people laughing)
24
00:00:52,327 --> 00:00:53,327
Inside joke.
25
00:00:57,249 --> 00:00:59,341
- Every time there's an
opening on the art council,
26
00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:01,384
I get shut out.
27
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:02,636
It doesn't matter what I do
28
00:01:02,712 --> 00:01:04,721
because they don't
think I'm cool enough
29
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,316
to hob knob and drink
champagne with them.
30
00:01:07,392 --> 00:01:10,143
- First of all, you shouldn't
care what they think.
31
00:01:10,220 --> 00:01:12,571
And second, champagne
makes you violent.
32
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,623
- Mom, Dad, you know
how you wouldn't
33
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,739
let me date Troy
because he was 19?
34
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,741
Well, based on your
arbitrary guidelines,
35
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:26,743
I found a new
boyfriend who's 16.
36
00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:28,453
And look, there he is.
37
00:01:28,530 --> 00:01:29,704
Kevin!
38
00:01:29,781 --> 00:01:30,781
- What's up dorks?
39
00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,376
Okay, you're booger 1,
and you're booger 2.
40
00:01:34,452 --> 00:01:37,554
- Kevin drives a truck, and
the truck has a gun rack.
41
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:38,631
Guess what for?
42
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:39,707
Hunting!
43
00:01:40,709 --> 00:01:43,718
- Now... (people laughing)
44
00:01:43,795 --> 00:01:44,795
Margo!
45
00:01:45,630 --> 00:01:47,731
(cart rattling)
46
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,267
(Kevin chuckles)
47
00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:52,321
I just wanted to say
what a great choice you
48
00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,025
and the art council
made in going
49
00:01:54,514 --> 00:01:56,417
with something from
Milan's garbage phase.
50
00:01:56,441 --> 00:01:58,692
- Anyway, we have to
walk over there now.
51
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,318
- Margo.
52
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:02,248
Aren't you gonna introduce
us to your friend?
53
00:02:02,272 --> 00:02:03,738
- Of course, forgive me.
54
00:02:03,815 --> 00:02:06,283
Helen, this is doctor
Jennifer Wilcox
55
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:08,794
and this is Souki Law
of the Publishing Laws.
56
00:02:09,788 --> 00:02:11,880
Jenn, Souki, Helen.
57
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,374
- We moved here from Manhattan.
58
00:02:14,451 --> 00:02:17,210
- We just bought the most
amazing restored Victorian
59
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:18,378
on 3rd and Welsh.
60
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:19,389
- Together?
61
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,466
Well, welcome!
62
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,802
I would love to come by and
see your place sometime.
63
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:28,471
- We're actually hosting
a game night tonight.
64
00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:30,974
Apparently, it's the
thing to do in Greenville.
65
00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:33,602
- Oh, I don't think Helen
would be interested in...
66
00:02:33,678 --> 00:02:34,519
- Nice!
67
00:02:34,596 --> 00:02:36,271
Yes, I would love to come!
68
00:02:36,348 --> 00:02:37,348
I accept.
69
00:02:38,683 --> 00:02:41,493
- Hey, booger one,
will you buy me beer?
70
00:02:42,562 --> 00:02:45,289
(upbeat music)
71
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:52,337
(singing in foreign language)
72
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:05,559
♪ The Goode Family ♪
73
00:03:05,636 --> 00:03:08,678
(light music)
74
00:03:08,755 --> 00:03:11,014
- Oh, I have no idea what
kind of housewarming gift
75
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:12,649
to get for lesbians.
76
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,267
I'd say a Georgia O'Keefe print,
77
00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:15,819
but maybe that's too obvious.
78
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,949
- You wanna know what
I find lesbians like?
79
00:03:17,973 --> 00:03:19,323
- Ugh.
80
00:03:20,442 --> 00:03:22,562
Charlie, you don't know
what you're talking about.
81
00:03:22,694 --> 00:03:25,028
- I have an extensive video
library on the subject.
82
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:28,657
They like paradise coves
and bikin car washes.
83
00:03:28,733 --> 00:03:29,458
Ooh!
84
00:03:29,534 --> 00:03:30,367
You know what else?
85
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:31,960
Pizza, they order it constantly.
86
00:03:33,655 --> 00:03:35,341
- Well, I just
don't understand why
87
00:03:35,365 --> 00:03:37,540
you're putting so much
pressure on tonight.
88
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,968
Don't you see what this
game night represents?
89
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:43,672
Jenn and Souki are cool
and chic and same sex,
90
00:03:43,748 --> 00:03:44,988
if we become friends with them,
91
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:47,384
I'll be part of that
hip art scene swirl.
92
00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:50,887
- Well, I have always wanted
to have lesbian friends.
93
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,722
- It's not as easy as it sounds.
94
00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,485
One thing I've noticed
about lesbians,
95
00:03:54,509 --> 00:03:57,435
they think everyone's
a peeping tom.
96
00:03:57,512 --> 00:03:58,737
- Evening, everybody.
97
00:04:00,332 --> 00:04:02,469
I was wondering if I could
catch a ride down to the church.
98
00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:03,828
- Well, sorry, Ray, but
we have plans tonight.
99
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,360
Have you tried Citylink?
100
00:04:05,437 --> 00:04:06,569
- I'm not taking the bus.
101
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,330
I need a designated driver.
102
00:04:08,407 --> 00:04:11,074
It's bingo night, and I
usually get pretty hammered.
103
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,951
- They allow drinking
at the church?
104
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,921
- No, that's why I
load up before I go.
105
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:18,423
- Driver?
106
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:19,708
I'll drive!
107
00:04:19,784 --> 00:04:21,470
I just gave the
hybrid a tune-up.
108
00:04:21,494 --> 00:04:22,711
- Let me grab my tapes.
109
00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:24,087
Hope you like charley pride.
110
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,422
- I like all pride.
111
00:04:25,498 --> 00:04:27,841
African pride, Chicano pride.
112
00:04:27,917 --> 00:04:31,395
(upbeat music)
113
00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:33,063
- [Man] N-12.
114
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:35,932
(light music)
115
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,026
- So this is where God lives.
116
00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:41,938
- I-20.
117
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,031
(board buzzing)
118
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:45,409
- Bingo is all about strategy.
119
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:46,818
Some people use lucky trolls.
120
00:04:46,829 --> 00:04:48,028
(light music)
121
00:04:48,104 --> 00:04:49,663
Some use lucky trinkets.
122
00:04:50,907 --> 00:04:54,784
I find the vent blows
good luck right here.
123
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,036
Wanna play?
124
00:04:56,112 --> 00:04:57,787
There's prizes!
125
00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:58,864
- Prizes?
126
00:05:00,158 --> 00:05:03,626
(dramatic music)
127
00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:06,463
(gasping)
128
00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:07,464
- I feel odd.
129
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:08,682
- You're hip.
130
00:05:08,759 --> 00:05:10,839
Now remember, we have
to say the right things
131
00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:12,010
and do the right things.
132
00:05:12,087 --> 00:05:13,470
- I don't know why we're jumping
133
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,638
through hoops to
impress these people.
134
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,193
- We're not jumping
through hoops.
135
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,642
We're just being ourselves.
136
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:20,933
Ah, (speaking foreign language).
137
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:23,822
(light jazz music)
138
00:05:23,899 --> 00:05:25,523
(glasses clinking)
139
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,651
- They're the only moroccan
percussion band I can listen to.
140
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:31,529
- I don't know why,
but Parisians adore me.
141
00:05:31,606 --> 00:05:34,074
- And then I enter the vin
number into the computer,
142
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:37,502
and voila, the student gets
his or her parking pass.
143
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:43,925
- I must say, I love what
you've done with your home.
144
00:05:44,002 --> 00:05:47,712
This is a lovely jar of water.
145
00:05:47,723 --> 00:05:49,464
- We got that at Katrina.
146
00:05:49,475 --> 00:05:52,175
- It's art, simple and powerful,
147
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,102
reminiscent of Milan's piece.
148
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:55,437
- [Woman] Yes.
149
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,691
- Oh, absolutely.
- I would've guessed Katrina.
150
00:05:57,715 --> 00:05:59,557
- Helen, you claim to
have an eye for art.
151
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,694
Tell us, what did you
think of Milan's piece?
152
00:06:02,771 --> 00:06:05,405
(dramatic music)
153
00:06:07,526 --> 00:06:12,112
- I found it rather scathing?
154
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,197
(woman laughs)
155
00:06:14,274 --> 00:06:15,374
- Scathing.
156
00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,759
Well put, Helen.
157
00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:21,538
- Scathing, brilliant!
- Yes, that was exactly
158
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:24,424
Milan's intention, to scathe.
159
00:06:24,501 --> 00:06:25,675
- Quite right.
160
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,931
I said the very same thing
out loud earlier today.
161
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,889
- [Man] It's the
comment of the season.
162
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,976
(balls rattling)
163
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:38,596
- B-11.
164
00:06:38,673 --> 00:06:39,556
B-11?
165
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:40,999
- Surprise, Ubuntu.
166
00:06:41,076 --> 00:06:44,853
I don't have B-11
because I am not sleeping
167
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,822
with the bingo master!
168
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,608
- Bingo not my name-o.
169
00:06:50,685 --> 00:06:52,445
- I won dinner
for two last week.
170
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:54,237
I ate both meals.
171
00:06:54,314 --> 00:06:56,206
- G-54.
172
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,999
- Bingo!
173
00:06:58,076 --> 00:07:00,419
(groaning)
174
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,134
- I need more luck.
175
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:10,170
- Ugh, "The Red Tent"!
176
00:07:10,246 --> 00:07:11,054
(man groans)
177
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,630
"Everything is Illuminated"!
178
00:07:12,707 --> 00:07:13,707
(people laughing)
179
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,565
- I have to say,
this is pretty great.
180
00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:22,190
- It was a heartbreaking
work of staggering genius!
181
00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:24,225
It was a best-seller, Margo!
182
00:07:24,302 --> 00:07:26,102
- I don't read best-sellers.
183
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,271
You know that, Kent.
184
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:31,074
- All right, Helen
and Gerald, your turn.
185
00:07:32,227 --> 00:07:34,736
And three, two, one.
186
00:07:34,812 --> 00:07:35,829
Charade!
187
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,074
- Uh, movie.
188
00:07:40,151 --> 00:07:41,151
It's a movie.
189
00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:43,211
Um, three words.
190
00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:49,660
Lesbian!
191
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:54,473
(timer dinging)
(people gasping)
192
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,008
(people chuckling)
193
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,301
- It was "The Color Purple."
194
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:01,021
- Oh, because Jenn's
shirt is purple.
195
00:08:01,097 --> 00:08:02,097
Of course!
196
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:04,956
- [Woman] What did he just say?
197
00:08:08,647 --> 00:08:11,022
(upbeat music)
198
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:13,650
- Helen, it wasn't
that big of a deal.
199
00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:16,653
Do you know how many times
I've been called a lesbian?
200
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:17,862
I didn't mind.
201
00:08:17,939 --> 00:08:19,906
- This was our big
chance to break in.
202
00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:22,283
God knows what they
think of us now.
203
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,160
- Well, look who it is!
204
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,247
You know, Gerald, for someone
who works in academia,
205
00:08:27,323 --> 00:08:29,332
you'd think you'd
be more tolerant.
206
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:33,711
- Now, Margo, there is no one
more open-minded than myself.
207
00:08:33,788 --> 00:08:37,298
- You may think so, but
I was a psychology major,
208
00:08:37,375 --> 00:08:39,676
and clearly you have
some deep-seeded
209
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:42,679
emotional issues
with homosexuality.
210
00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:45,273
Typically, these feelings
manifest themselves
211
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:48,685
in incredibly
embarrassing outbursts
212
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,654
like the one you had last night.
213
00:08:52,098 --> 00:08:53,731
- Oh, God, this is terrible.
214
00:08:53,808 --> 00:08:55,911
I know you said we shouldn't
care what people think, but...
215
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,027
- They think I'm a homophobe!
216
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,196
(light dramatic music)
217
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,658
- So my strategy is more
air vent, more dolls,
218
00:09:03,735 --> 00:09:06,795
then stamp very light so bingo
gods don't know I'm close.
219
00:09:06,871 --> 00:09:09,005
Stamp, stamp, stamp.
220
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:09,872
Bingo!
221
00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:10,781
Got it?
222
00:09:10,859 --> 00:09:11,708
- Uh, bingo bango, zingo zango.
223
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:12,875
Yeah, got it.
224
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:13,818
- Damn it!
225
00:09:13,895 --> 00:09:15,378
They're not answering at home,
226
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,880
and Souki's assistant keeps
saying they're unavailable.
227
00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:20,300
- Okay, okay, damage control.
228
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,894
What can we do
that's really gay?
229
00:09:24,222 --> 00:09:25,805
- What about this?
230
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,391
We find another nice same sex
couple to be friends with.
231
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:30,393
We'll be seen around
town with them,
232
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:33,313
people will talk, and then
everyone will know I'm cool
233
00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,856
and you're not a homophobe.
234
00:09:34,932 --> 00:09:36,452
- If you wanna become
friends with a lesbian,
235
00:09:36,476 --> 00:09:38,067
you gotta think like one.
236
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,694
What do they really want?
237
00:09:39,771 --> 00:09:40,287
A man.
238
00:09:40,363 --> 00:09:42,196
- Dad, please.
239
00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:44,240
Okay, now this
isn't gonna be easy.
240
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,409
Not all lesbians are
like Jenn and Souki.
241
00:09:46,486 --> 00:09:48,911
They don't usually hang
out with straight people.
242
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,748
- Once again, Mom,
you have no idea
243
00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:52,944
what they're talking about.
244
00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:55,346
Kevin's moms have plenty
of straight friends.
245
00:09:55,370 --> 00:09:56,595
- Kevin's moms?
246
00:09:57,997 --> 00:09:58,997
- What?
247
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:02,309
(crows cawing)
248
00:10:03,461 --> 00:10:05,970
(doorbell buzzing)
249
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,430
So after I introduce you guys,
250
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:10,141
Kevin and I are going
to head off on our date.
251
00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:11,225
Guess where?
252
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:12,769
Dynamite fishing!
253
00:10:12,845 --> 00:10:14,045
- Sounds like fun, honey.
(Bliss groans)
254
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:16,814
Now this dinner is our
last chance, Gerald.
255
00:10:16,891 --> 00:10:17,891
Don't blow it.
256
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:20,234
- Ah, (speaking
foreign language).
257
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:21,245
(Helen gasps)
258
00:10:21,312 --> 00:10:22,737
- What's happening?
259
00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:23,780
- Nice blouse!
260
00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:25,114
Where's the party?
261
00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,991
- That'll be a two hour
wait with a reservation.
262
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:29,085
- I actually don't get
white people at all.
263
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:35,041
- So, Mo, how long have
you been a roughneck?
264
00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:37,078
- Ah, I been on oil
rigs since I was 10.
265
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,754
I started out as a lead
hand working the lead tongs
266
00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:42,715
on the drilling floor, then
chain hand and motor hand.
267
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:44,812
Before I knew it, I
was racking drill pipe
268
00:10:44,836 --> 00:10:46,260
with the other mothers.
269
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,240
- I keep saying she's
ready to be a tool pusher.
270
00:10:48,264 --> 00:10:50,181
You know, they get
to live on location.
271
00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:51,527
- Oh.
- Oh.
272
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,810
- Yeah, but just a
few days at a time.
273
00:10:53,886 --> 00:10:55,326
- Oh.
- Oh.
274
00:10:55,847 --> 00:10:56,537
- [Duncan] Well,
the "Utne Reader"...
275
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:57,947
- Duncan, Isabelle!
276
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,984
- Helen, Gerald.
277
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:04,070
Haven't seen you
since game night.
278
00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:04,904
- I know.
279
00:11:04,915 --> 00:11:06,188
We've been so busy.
280
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,876
I want you to meet
some friends of ours.
281
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:11,077
This is Mo and
her partner Trish.
282
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:11,994
- That's right.
283
00:11:12,071 --> 00:11:13,454
We're lesbians.
284
00:11:13,531 --> 00:11:15,674
- Yeah, and we just proved
it in the parking lot.
285
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,501
- Oh, how nice.
286
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,169
Well...
- Tell and Jenn and Souki
287
00:11:20,246 --> 00:11:23,005
you saw us with our friends!
288
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,766
- I gotta hit the head.
289
00:11:24,843 --> 00:11:25,843
You two coming?
290
00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:30,063
(light music)
291
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,474
- I'm-a be a monster
truck driver someday.
292
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,277
- And I'm going to be a
monster truck driver's wife.
293
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:40,782
(fists smacking)
294
00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:42,859
(both laughing)
295
00:11:42,935 --> 00:11:44,861
- Let's go heckle zoo monkeys.
296
00:11:44,937 --> 00:11:45,937
Come on, ugly.
297
00:11:47,282 --> 00:11:47,822
(Bliss groans)
- We'll go start the coals.
298
00:11:47,899 --> 00:11:49,031
Come on, Trish.
299
00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:51,501
How about a little
girl on grill action?
300
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,995
(both laughing)
301
00:11:54,071 --> 00:11:57,165
- (groans) I hate to say
it, but they disgust me.
302
00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:58,883
Maybe I am a homophobe.
303
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,847
- I thought you were gonna make
friends with some gay women.
304
00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:07,884
Oh, dear God!
305
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,394
- I-16.
306
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:11,855
I-16.
307
00:12:13,174 --> 00:12:14,174
- Oh!
308
00:12:14,893 --> 00:12:15,893
Yeah, yeah!
309
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:18,637
Bingo?
310
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:23,900
Bingo!
(triumphant music)
311
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:26,494
So many people made
this moment possible.
312
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:30,573
Most of all, Ray, who was
there for me from the beginning
313
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,951
and who knocked over his
lucky Karl Malone bobblehead
314
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,962
so the luck bounced
onto my cards.
315
00:12:36,039 --> 00:12:38,998
And especially I-16!
316
00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:40,166
Just like me!
317
00:12:40,243 --> 00:12:44,420
I'm 16!
(crowd groans)
318
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,422
- You have to be
18 to play bingo.
319
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:47,924
You have to leave.
320
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,477
(light music)
321
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:54,564
- I don't care about the tools.
322
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:55,940
I just wanted to play bingo.
323
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,852
(thudding)
- Hell, yeah!
324
00:12:59,929 --> 00:13:01,237
Drink!
325
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:03,948
(women laughing)
326
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:11,072
- Listen, um, guys, uh, we
wanna ask you something.
327
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:14,283
You see, we've never really
had couple friends before,
328
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:17,921
and, well, this Friday is
Lucy Lawless' birthday,
329
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:21,249
and, uh, we were hoping
you'd celebrate it with us.
330
00:13:21,259 --> 00:13:23,918
- It's usually just the two
of us, but we'd like to share
331
00:13:23,995 --> 00:13:26,629
the holiday with
people we care about.
332
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:27,706
You.
333
00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:32,043
- We'd love to.
334
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:36,492
- I guess I'll never be
part of the art scene.
335
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,933
But at least with Mo
and Trish, now we'll get
336
00:13:39,010 --> 00:13:41,010
a good deal when we
re-floor the kitchen.
337
00:13:42,013 --> 00:13:43,229
- Helen, Gerald!
338
00:13:43,306 --> 00:13:44,647
How are you?
339
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:45,648
- We've been great!
340
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:46,725
Just great!
341
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:48,704
We called you a
couple times, but...
342
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,152
- I know, I'm sorry.
343
00:13:50,229 --> 00:13:51,707
Our fresh air
child got arrested,
344
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,990
and then we were in
Lisbon for the regatta.
345
00:13:54,066 --> 00:13:55,333
- Oh, of course!
346
00:13:55,410 --> 00:13:56,918
The regatta!
347
00:13:56,995 --> 00:13:59,996
- We missed you two at
game night at Margo's.
348
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,072
Where were you?
349
00:14:02,517 --> 00:14:04,386
- Yes, I was disappointed
you weren't there.
350
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:06,002
I left a message your machine.
351
00:14:06,078 --> 00:14:07,503
You must not have gotten it.
352
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,504
- Huh.
353
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,889
We don't have a machine.
354
00:14:09,966 --> 00:14:11,891
- Well, then I
must've left a message
355
00:14:11,968 --> 00:14:13,175
with your robot butler.
356
00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:15,132
Either way, you were
certainly missed.
357
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,346
- Souki and I were going to host
358
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,109
a game night this
Friday, but we had...
359
00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:20,266
- We'll host it!
360
00:14:20,277 --> 00:14:22,018
- Well, okay.
361
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,319
That sounds great.
362
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:24,687
Friday it is.
363
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:27,023
- Actually, we
kinda made plans...
364
00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,867
- Friday it is, Gerald.
365
00:14:32,563 --> 00:14:35,031
(upbeat music)
366
00:14:35,107 --> 00:14:38,200
- We can't just break our
plans for Lawless night.
367
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,368
- Gerald, we're past that.
368
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:41,089
No one thinks
you're a homophobe.
369
00:14:41,113 --> 00:14:43,372
We're running with
the hip crowd again!
370
00:14:43,449 --> 00:14:47,126
- This isn't about my
homophobia which I don't have.
371
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,712
It's about Mo and Trish
being our friends.
372
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:52,089
And their son is
dating our daughter.
373
00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:54,550
- Then they'll understand
we have a conflict.
374
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:55,509
No hard feelings.
375
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,719
Our bad.
376
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,271
(doorbell buzzing)
377
00:14:58,348 --> 00:14:59,773
- Hi, guys!
378
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,391
I guess someone can't get
enough of the Mo and Trish show.
379
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:04,060
- That's us.
380
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:08,022
Hey listen, the thing about
Friday is, um, you see,
381
00:15:08,099 --> 00:15:11,025
Gerald is having surgery.
382
00:15:11,102 --> 00:15:12,296
- What?
- What kind?
383
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:13,486
- Are you all right?
384
00:15:13,562 --> 00:15:15,322
- Well, he's having
a cyst removed.
385
00:15:15,365 --> 00:15:17,239
- Aw, heck, I can
do that for ya.
386
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:18,407
- It's on his lung.
387
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,533
(both gasping)
388
00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:23,004
(light dramatic music)
389
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,082
- I don't understand why we have
390
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:28,134
to buy the expensive pickles.
391
00:15:28,211 --> 00:15:30,503
Mo and Trish never
cared what we served.
392
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:33,589
- They never cared if they
had food in their hair.
393
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:35,975
(Kevin barking)
Crap, it's Kevin!
394
00:15:36,052 --> 00:15:37,052
- Oh, God.
395
00:15:37,128 --> 00:15:37,760
- You two should go out.
396
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,053
Here's $20.
397
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:40,188
Go have fun!
398
00:15:40,264 --> 00:15:41,692
- Now you're paying
for our dates?
399
00:15:41,716 --> 00:15:43,099
You're supposed to hate him so
400
00:15:43,175 --> 00:15:44,820
I can go back to
dating whoever I want.
401
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,363
Oh, I can't stand it
one second longer.
402
00:15:46,387 --> 00:15:48,312
I'm breaking up with him.
403
00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:49,146
(Kevin barks)
404
00:15:49,223 --> 00:15:50,699
- Hey.
405
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,359
- Hey, look, I kinda need to
talk to you about something.
406
00:15:53,436 --> 00:15:54,193
- Ugh.
407
00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:54,994
Fine.
408
00:15:55,071 --> 00:15:56,071
What?
409
00:15:56,147 --> 00:15:56,696
- We're through.
410
00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:57,697
Lates.
411
00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:58,581
- Huh?
412
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,459
(light jazz music)
413
00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:08,040
- Everything's finally
coming together, Gerald.
414
00:16:08,117 --> 00:16:10,385
Even Jenn and Souki seem
like they're having a fun.
415
00:16:11,421 --> 00:16:14,138
(dramatic music)
416
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,642
- Now here's one
I've always wondered.
417
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,178
In real life, when a
good-looking pizza guy
418
00:16:21,255 --> 00:16:25,307
comes to your door, do you...
419
00:16:25,384 --> 00:16:26,985
- Excuse me, ladies.
420
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,790
Dad, if you sit
down and shut up,
421
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:33,107
I'll let you watch later when
Jenn and Souki play Twister.
422
00:16:33,184 --> 00:16:35,818
(doorbell ringing)
423
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,161
- It went diagonal.
424
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,157
- You gotta be kidding me.
425
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:42,575
Listen, this isn't a good time...
426
00:16:42,651 --> 00:16:43,659
- Hey, buddy.
427
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,661
If we can't bring you to bingo,
428
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,131
we figured we'd
bring bingo to you.
429
00:16:48,866 --> 00:16:50,833
(paper rustling)
430
00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:53,252
- Ray, it's bingo!
431
00:16:53,329 --> 00:16:54,795
Bingo for my house!
432
00:16:54,872 --> 00:16:55,629
Look, Penny!
433
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,223
Bingo for my house!
434
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,467
- The box says fun for all ages.
435
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:00,718
Set it up!
436
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,344
- That's a very nice
gift, but this isn't
437
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,355
the appropriate
time to play bingo.
438
00:17:04,432 --> 00:17:05,432
It's game night.
439
00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:10,561
- So it appears
there's going to be
440
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,238
an opening on the art council.
441
00:17:12,315 --> 00:17:14,115
Tripp Maddox is
gonna be indicted.
442
00:17:14,192 --> 00:17:16,170
He's off to Belgrade
to avoid extradition.
443
00:17:16,194 --> 00:17:18,205
- You should put Helen
on the art council.
444
00:17:18,229 --> 00:17:20,279
She's got a tremendous eye.
445
00:17:20,356 --> 00:17:22,250
- I'd never really
thought about being on
446
00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:25,201
the art council
before, but I guess.
447
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:26,702
(doorbell ringing)
448
00:17:26,779 --> 00:17:27,779
Just one moment.
449
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,631
Oh!
450
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:32,468
- Now we're not
here to bother you.
451
00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:34,855
We were just worried that
you were playing wet-nurse
452
00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:36,648
to the g-man, and you
wouldn't feel like doing
453
00:17:36,672 --> 00:17:37,933
a bunch of cooking, so
we brought you take out.
454
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:39,557
- Jenga!
- Jenga!
455
00:17:40,543 --> 00:17:43,594
- Funny thing, the cyst
just fell off on its own,
456
00:17:43,671 --> 00:17:46,472
so a couple of our friends
stopped by to wish Gerald well.
457
00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:47,723
No biggie.
458
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,569
- Isn't it funny
how cysts do that?
459
00:17:49,593 --> 00:17:51,110
So where is the big guy?
460
00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:54,436
- [Man] It's actually
pronounced Das Boot.
461
00:17:57,184 --> 00:17:59,401
- Okay, so this is Margo
and her husband Kent,
462
00:17:59,478 --> 00:18:01,398
and this is Jenn and
her partner Souki.
463
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:07,168
- FYI, if you two are
looking to bring on a third,
464
00:18:07,245 --> 00:18:10,379
I'm not legally attached to
this fire hydrant over here.
465
00:18:13,242 --> 00:18:15,918
(light music)
466
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:18,262
That wasn't the worst rash
I ever got on my thighs,
467
00:18:18,339 --> 00:18:19,839
not by a long shot.
468
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,382
- Oh, really?
469
00:18:22,626 --> 00:18:25,353
Well, then what was the worst
thigh rash you ever got, Mo?
470
00:18:25,429 --> 00:18:26,437
- Saddle chafe.
471
00:18:26,514 --> 00:18:28,264
Three week cattle drive.
472
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:30,307
Went commando the whole time.
473
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:31,475
(people laughing)
474
00:18:31,486 --> 00:18:32,768
- Uh, duly noted.
475
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:36,114
Don't go commando
on a cattle drive.
476
00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:40,442
- So, Kent, are there some
up-and-coming sculptors
477
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,236
the art council is considering?
478
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:43,279
I've got some ideas.
479
00:18:43,355 --> 00:18:44,530
- Wait!
480
00:18:44,607 --> 00:18:47,166
Maybe Mo and Trish could
suggest some artists.
481
00:18:47,243 --> 00:18:50,411
Did you ladies see the new
installation on campus?
482
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:51,620
- Oh, yeah.
483
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,247
We liked it a lot.
484
00:18:53,324 --> 00:18:54,456
It's really pretty.
485
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:56,625
(people laughing)
486
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,305
- Yes, you should
see some of the work
487
00:18:58,329 --> 00:18:59,879
he's done in analytic cubism.
488
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,722
It's wicked neat.
489
00:19:01,799 --> 00:19:04,308
(all laughing)
490
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,262
- Well, you know,
Jenn, Mo and Trish
491
00:19:08,339 --> 00:19:10,284
just mentioned that
they liked the piece.
492
00:19:10,308 --> 00:19:12,808
They never said they were
professional art critics.
493
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,318
- He's right.
494
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,032
They actually said they were
professional bikini inspectors.
495
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:19,398
(all laughing)
496
00:19:19,475 --> 00:19:20,399
- This is too much.
497
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:22,651
Mo and Trish have feelings, too.
498
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:24,061
- You're right.
499
00:19:24,138 --> 00:19:26,989
I have to get rid of
them for their own good.
500
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,991
Mo, Trish, thanks for coming,
501
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:31,535
but I know we're cutting
into your Lawless night.
502
00:19:31,612 --> 00:19:32,661
- Yeah.
503
00:19:32,738 --> 00:19:34,371
We should get going.
504
00:19:34,448 --> 00:19:35,548
(somber music)
505
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:38,386
- Ladies and gentlemen,
the running of the mullets.
506
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:40,845
(all laughing)
507
00:19:44,291 --> 00:19:48,344
- Souki, I think you owe
Mo and Trish an apology.
508
00:19:48,420 --> 00:19:49,437
- Excuse me?
509
00:19:49,513 --> 00:19:50,679
- I'm not gonna stand here
510
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,317
and let you make
fun of my friends.
511
00:19:52,341 --> 00:19:53,774
- Your friends?
512
00:19:53,851 --> 00:19:56,018
I thought they were here
to put your dog down.
513
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,645
- (sighs) Well, they're not.
514
00:19:57,721 --> 00:19:58,738
They're my friends.
515
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,502
Sure, we only befriended them
because they were lesbians,
516
00:20:02,526 --> 00:20:05,027
and we wanted to prove
Gerald wasn't a homophobe.
517
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:06,362
- Homophobe?
518
00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:08,948
I always thought he
was a homosexual.
519
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,283
- But we've actually
come to care for them.
520
00:20:11,294 --> 00:20:13,878
Granted, they can be
a bit off-putting.
521
00:20:15,322 --> 00:20:17,665
But we don't judge them
because they're our friends,
522
00:20:17,741 --> 00:20:19,917
and they don't judge us.
523
00:20:19,994 --> 00:20:22,544
And if you think you're
entitled to condemn our friends
524
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,557
because they don't meet
your qualifications,
525
00:20:24,581 --> 00:20:25,581
then you know what?
526
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,591
You're not that cool.
527
00:20:27,668 --> 00:20:29,051
(all gasping)
528
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:32,429
- Well, you heard it
from the arbiter of cool.
529
00:20:32,506 --> 00:20:33,506
Helen.
530
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,560
- Oh, looks like we're
facing a lifetime
531
00:20:36,686 --> 00:20:38,080
of lame after parties and
underground art openings.
532
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:39,728
- Bummer, Helen.
533
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:42,990
What will the art
council do without you?
534
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,703
(door thudding)
535
00:20:48,939 --> 00:20:50,739
- That was a brave
thing you did.
536
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,366
I know it wasn't easy.
537
00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,034
Too bad everyone left so quickly
538
00:20:54,111 --> 00:20:55,911
after Jenn and Souki did, huh?
539
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,079
- It's okay.
540
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,789
Our real friends stayed.
541
00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:01,583
(light music)
542
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,919
- Well, then let's
bust out some games.
543
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,629
- Everyone took their
games with them.
544
00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,881
- We can play with my bingo set!
545
00:21:07,958 --> 00:21:08,841
- Set it up.
546
00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:10,239
- Bingo?
547
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:13,804
I was specifically promised
hot lesbian twister!
548
00:21:13,881 --> 00:21:16,315
(upbeat music)
549
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:24,782
(singing in foreign language)
550
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,335
♪ The Goode Family ♪
37952
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