All language subtitles for The.Goode.Family.S01E03.Goodes.Gone.Wild.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-Hurtom_track3_[eng]

(cheerful music)

- So, Ubuntu, how's your project
going to save the planet?

- I made an Earth-friendly
windmill generator.

- Nice try, Ubuntu, but
the ice caps are melting,

sea levels are rising,

and yet we still have
no water to drink.

The fact is, it's all
too little too late.

(students gasping)

- But wind is sustainable.

- Maybe if we're lucky it
will be a windy apocalypse.

- So, it sounds like there's
no reason to take notes.

(cheerful music)

(inhaling deeply)

- I know we shouldn't
feed Che from the table,

but when it's vegan stew
I just can't help myself.

(whimpering)

- Is this that compost stuff
you're always talking about?

- Are you feeling okay, Ubuntu?

Do you need another
herbal enema?

Gerald.

- My colon's not the problem,
the world is the problem.

Planet doomed, tipping
point, game over.

- Ubuntu's just upset because
we've thrown the world

so out of whack there
is no hope of saving it.

- Don't listen to all
that scare mongering.

I remember when we were all
supposed to die in an ice age.

Then we were supposed

to starve to death
from overpopulation.

Kids, the simple fact is,
we're gonna be taken out

by a super
antibiotic-resistant flu bug.

- What's gotten into you two?

- Reality.

- Now, hold on.

Have you guys learned
nothing from the jar?

Just by recycling for
the past seven years

we almost have enough
for our eco cruise.

Six days and five nights
of being on the open seas

harassing fishing boats.

- What's the point?

Might as well eat
meat and flush toilet.

(gasping nervously)

- Honey, don't do yoga now,

you know your skills
go right out the window

whenever you're upset.

- (sighs) I know, I'm just
so worried about the kids.

I don't want Ubuntu to
become jaded and cynical,

and Bliss to become
more jaded and cynical.

(ominous music)

- Hmm, maybe there's a downside

to the constant drumbeat
of apocalyptic defeatism.

- Huh.

Maybe.
(cheerful music)

(car honking)

- Out of the way, jackass!

- Make a difference.

Hmm.

(car honking)

- [Man] Move the bike, Lance!

- A thousand?

It costs $1,000 to
adopt a highway?

- It's a way of weeding
out the riff-raff.

We can't have every
Tom, Dick, and Harry

picking up trash on our highway.

- Why?

- Do you want the
highway or not?

- Hmm, that's a lot of money,

but I guess it's worth it

to keep Bliss and Ubuntu
from becoming cynical.

- You must really
love your cats.

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

♪ The Goode Family ♪

- There she is.

Route 9.

- So, we're adopting a highway

instead of going on a vacation?

- Yes, this will show you

that we can make a concrete
difference in the world.

Right, Helen?

- Oh, so now you're
asking for my opinion?

- (sighs) Honey, I hated acting

without the counsel
of my life partner,

but the situation
called for action.

- So, wait, you paid them
so we can pick up garbage

on a public highway?

- I saw a wino
puking in an alley.

Pay me 100 bucks and
I'll tell you where.

- This is going to be great,
I can just picture it now.

(upbeat music)
(garbage clanking)

(dolphin whistling)

- All right.
- Okay.

(soft music)

- Congratulations.

Your highway.

- Well, it didn't look anything
like this in the photo.

There was grass.

- Yeah, we find that if people
know how bad the problem is,

they become cynical
and just give up,

so we doctor the photos.

- What do you think, Ubuntu,

should we give up now
or in five minutes?

- Maybe we should just
post an adopt-a-dump sign

and be done with it.

- Now, I know this looks bad,

but what better way to show
that we can make a difference

than to turn this eyesore
into a place of beauty?

- But there are so
many condom wrappers.

- Yeah, but we'll
start a groundswell.

We'll get the whole
community involved.

There's so many causes
to compete with.

We should have a needier font.

- I don't think so.

- Penny, I know
it's last minute,

but are you available to pick
up garbage this afternoon?

- I think you know
the answer to that.

- Nuh-uh.

- If I could just get
our message up there
on the big board.

- How do you do that?
- Nobody knows.

Margo!

- Busy!

- (laughs) Very funny.

I know that nobody cares more

about our environment
than you do.

It's just one afternoon.

- Today?

Oh, too bad.

I'll be tied up with the One
Earth Eco-Event of the Week,

picking up trash.

Huh?

- Wow.

- I'd like to do it.
- Me, too!

It's on the big board.

- Count me in.
- Let me help!

- You can't count on me!
- Me, too!

- This'll be so fun!

- Come on, everybody.

Follow me.
(Margo groans)

Hey, look, your dad's here.

And there's Ray's truck,
and Kiki's minivan.

They probably
could've carpooled,

but this is still great.

- I underestimated how bored
and lonely everyone is.

Maybe this will work.

- Oh god, Newswatch 15 is here.

And Benny Begosian,
The Average Guy!

And Margo looks miserable!

- Hello, welcome everybody,

because everybody
here is welcome.

Ah, look, more volunteers

who share our common vision.

Welcome.

(exciting music)
(gasping)

(ominous music)

- [Sheriff] All right, move it.

Step it down.
(gasping)

Move it, now.

- Nazis?

- Everyone who loves
to hate, say cheese!

(slow music)

- I'm really for like,
the environment and stuff,

but really against
racist hate groups.

This one's tough.

- Come on, fantastic.
- He's not one of them.

- He sure looks
like one of them.

- Oh, my biological parents
were racist Africana criminals,

but then they adopted me.

So, it's all been squared away.

- Why don't you take a walk?

- Helen, I know I'm
Mr. Live and Let Live,

but these guys?

(high-fiving)
- Woo!

- I don't know.

Maybe we should've gotten
you that black Barbie.

- Helen, thank you.

- Wait, everybody.

Please don't go.

Sir, could you please tell me

what these gentlemen
are doing here?

- These prisoners
clean this highway

as part of their punishment.

- First of all, their
work is a bit shoddy.

And second of all,
I paid almost $1,000

to the Transportation Department
to adopt it, and clean it.

- Woo, that's a big
chunk of capital

to throw into maintenance.

I can respect that.

See, I'm a businessman
myself, Dean Stancill.

- Hey, I know you're a prisoner!

Get out of there!

- Businessman?

Aren't you a criminal?

- There's no need to
toss epithets about.

These are all fine
lines, gray areas.

Didn't you see "Wall Street"?

"The Godfather"?

- I heard something bad
happened to a horse.

- Regardless, irregardless
is not a word,

I'm not sure if you knew that.

This job is important to us.

It gets us out of our cells
and builds our self-esteem.

It's part of our rehabilitation.

- Rehabilitation.

- Now, what can I offer you

just to leave this highway
to us, other than your life?

(ominous music)

- (laughs) Got you!

I wouldn't hurt
you or your family.

- (laughs nervously) Oh, my.

I'm sorry, I didn't
get the joke at first,

but my wife and I are
using this highway

to show our kids that people

can make a real
difference in the world,

so I'm afraid we can't leave.

- Look here, son,
that ain't gonna work.

- Okay, we gotta head back.

There was a big fight
and we're in lockdown.

You know how it goes.

- But we ain't cleaned!

We need to pick up the trash.

The bottles!

- Come on, get in there.
(groaning)

- You wanna keep cleaning
the highway with them?

Gerald, they are Nazis!

- Helen, you say
that about everyone.

- But these are the real ones!

Let's just cut our losses and
spend the day at the lake.

There'll be garbage there.

- Yeah, dad.

I think Aryan skinheads
on your highway

are a pretty good sign it's
time to throw in the towel.

- No.

We can't give up.

We're making a difference.

Did you see how
upset those guys were

that they didn't get to
pick up those bottles?

There's hope for them,
and if we can change them,

we can change the world.

- Why can't we just have
a dad who's an alcoholic?

- So, if any of those
guys need a pen pal,

well, here's a picture of me.

- You own a wedding dress?

- Helen!

I was hoping to run into you.

How's your No-Nazi-Left-Behind
program going?

- You know, Margo, this
whole thing wasn't my idea,

but despicable people need
to learn to be green as much,

if not more, than decent people.

I mean, garbage doesn't
know what's in the heart

of the man picking it up.

- You sound like Gandhi,

who your buddies would
hate, by the way.

Here, enjoy some photos.

- They're not my buddies!

- (gasps) That's her!

Look, that's her!

- That's the terrible
woman who loves the Nazis.

(scary music)

- He's cute.

- Now, there's no reason
we can't excel at business.

Look at us, clearly
we're the master race.

(snoring)
- Huh?

- Look at them.

They've been sitting on
their butts for an hour.

- I even saw one littering.

- And one of 'em
spit on the litter.

This is pointless.

- Ubuntu, let's go drive around

with the air conditioner on.

- No, no, no, we just
have to stay the course.

- Gerald, listen to yourself!

That's what Republicans say

when things are
going really badly!

- Helen, we are not quitting.

We have to show these kids
that there's always hope.

Sure, these guys have been
a bit lazy and foul-mouthed,

and they throw around the
term "immigrant horde"

way too freely, but we
can get through to them.

- Found one!

- Nice.

Good job getting this junk
off the highways, Clyde.

(laughing)

- Dean, I hate to be a noodge,

but it really doesn't
seem like you guys

are doing your fair share.

You've only picked up
two Lime Dew bottles.

- I hear ya, Gerald, but
we were up pretty late

jumping in a new guy,
so cut us some slack.

- Well, I'm afraid I
can't do that, Dean.

I can't push my kids to
clean up this highway

if you guys aren't willing to.

- Out of my way.

- Now that's what
I'm talking about.

Good initiative, guys.

(cheerful music)

(slow music)

Huh, where is everyone?

- Well, so much for initiative.

The prisoners didn't
even show up today.

- Well, maybe they
started reading

the tolerance
pamphlet I gave them

and they lost track of time.

(Che growling)

Oh, look everyone,
Che's trying to give

mouth to mouth to that roadkill.

Oh, it's too late, Che.

The poor creature
is already dead.

- Drivers on this highway
sure do like their Lime Dew.

- Well, since the
prisoners didn't show up,

it seems only fair
that we get to keep

the recycling money.

Sweet.

Oh, this one's crystallized.

Still a quarter, though.

Dean and the others have no idea

what kind of money
they're missing out on.

Hello, strangers.

We missed you yesterday.

- Someone got shivved
in the laundry,

so we were under
lockdown, again.

Wait, where are the bottles?

- Surprise, we cleaned
everything this time.

- You what?

Where are they?

Where are my Lime Dew bottles?

I want the ones you picked up

and I want 'em now!

- Well, that's impossible.

I already took them to
the recycling plant.

- No!

No, no!

No, god!

(groaning)

- Dean, what has
gotten into you?

Look, if this is about the
money I got for the bottles,

I'm keeping it.

(yelling)

- Clyde, you get parol tomorrow.

I want you to pay our buddy,
Gerald, a little visit.

- I know that unpleasantness
with the prisoners

this afternoon was discouraging,

but please, don't let
it shake your faith

that we can make a
difference in this world.

- Gerald, enough is enough.

- No, trust me.

We may not have turned
those skinheads,

but it just may be that we
haven't turned them yet.

- Ugh.

(phone ringing)

- Ubuntu, little help.

Gracias, amigo.

Hello?

- [Operator] This
call from an inmate

at the Howard Pope Correctional
Facility is monitored.

- Gerald, it's Dean.

- Well, hello, Dean.

What can I do for ya?

- You can give me my.

I want those Lime Dew bottles,

including what was in 'em.

- You want me to fill them
back up with Lime Dew?

- I want the junk!

- Dean, all the junk is gone.

Moved by me and my family.

- He already moved it.

I knew he couldn't be
as dumb as he looked.

- Okay then, I want what's mine.

- This is about the
bottles, isn't it?

Well, we have nothing
left to talk about.

- Yes, we do.

An associate of mine is
getting parol tomorrow,

and I'm sending him
over there to kill,

set things straight.

- Really?

Well, I'll be waiting, and
we'll see who gets set straight.

- Oh, yeah?
(phone beeping)

I want him dead, I
want his wife dead,

I want his family dead,
I want his dog dead,

I want every vegetable in
his freakin' organic garden

he's always babbling about dead.

- It's bad enough you had
us work with them, Gerald,

now you're going to
have us killed by them,

in our own home.

- Oh, it'll be fine, Helen.

I'm going to convince them
that cleaning up the highway

is in everyone's best interest.

- How?

Skinheads aren't exactly known

for their ability to reason.

- I'm just going to have to
use a carrot and a stick,

as barbaric as that sounds.

My vegan stew will
soften them up,

and then my firm but fair
rhetoric will knock them down.

- Maybe you should have
"Hogan's Heroes" playing

so they can see the lighter,
goofier side of Nazism.

(doorbell ringing)
(banging)

- Give me the money.

- Oh dear, there you guys
go with the money again.

You can't be serious.

All this sturm and drang is
about the recycling money?

- Yeah, the recycling money.

Hey, wait, are you
wearing a wire?

Are you a cop?

If you're a cop
you gotta tell me.

- He's not a cop, but I
am calling them right now.

- No cops!

- Now, that was uncalled for.

Okay, this clearly
isn't working,

so you are all going to sit
down and have some vegan stew.

- What?
- I said sit, now.

Don't make me say it again.

- He means sit on chair.

Sit!

- He must be the enforcer.

- I'm more worried about the
quiet guy with the stick.

Remember what De Niro did

with that bat in
"The Untouchables"?

- Now, this all started

because we wanted Route
9 and you wanted Route 9.

Now, we can keep
butting heads over it,

but in the meantime,
nobody is cleaning up,

nobody is getting any bottles,

and that's not good
for anyone, is it?

- No.

I guess not.

- I'm not eatin' this.

- Eat.

(gulping)

- Now, what if I told
you that there was a way

we could pick up
even more bottles?

- I'm listening.

- My vegan stew will
do that to people.

Now, here's my proposal.

We take Route 9, you
get your own road,

maybe get two or three.

That way you can get
more inmates involved.

If you branch out, you
could have the whole area,

except Route 9,
that's my family's.

- So, we all make money.

- Stop focusing on the
money, that's your problem.

Focus on the work and
the money will follow.

There's lots of
bottles out there.

- Yeah.

But Dean handles
all the business.

- Well then Dean
should be focusing

on the business of
getting the job done,

and less on the
business of hate.

One person can make this
world into whatever they want

if they are willing to change
the way they look at it.

Right, kids?

- We need to talk to Dean.

- I'll pack you some stew to go.

(groaning)

(beeping)

- And then he said
to stop hating

and get everyone involved.

- Stop hatin'?

That kinda goes against
our core values,

defines who we are.

On the other hand, it
might be good for business.

You know, he's right.

I've been refusing to deal
with the mongrel races

for too long, and
who's that hurting?

Me.

Contact all the black
and Latino gangs.

Set up a meeting
tonight in the showers.

- I'm Benny Begosian,
The Average Guy.

You remember The Average
Guy was not happy

when Nazis were
cleaning up this highway

with the so-called Goode family.

But this story, as
too few stories have,

throw The Average Guy a curve.

Who would've thought
that cleaning up a dirty

stretch of highway could
have such a dramatic impact?

The answer is, the Goode family.

Mom and dad adopted
me from racists

and made me a good person.

We adopted a highway and
made these people good.

- At first it was weird
making a difference,

but it's actually kinda cool.

- You know who else thinks
what you've done is cool?

Warden Jesser of the Howard
Pope Correctional Facility.

- The Goode family's work
with our most heinous

white supremacist group
has had an enormous impact.

Just a week ago if these gangs

had been in the yard
at the same time

half of them would've
killed the other half,

usually with toothbrushes
that they carefully shave down

to a deadly point.

- The fact is that if
we don't work together,

then everybody loses.

And when you think about it,

the only color that
really matters is green.

- It looks to this Average Guy

that this hate group has been
turned into a love group.

- Nothing average about
that story, Average Guy.

Looks like the Goode
family has been great

at eradicating racism.

- I'm sorry I didn't
trust my life partner.

(kisses) Who wants to roll
that back and see it again?

- Yeah!
- Me, me!

- Us!
- Me, me, me, me, me!

- Believe it or not, I do.

- Yeah, why not?
- Ugh.

- Did Dean mention if
he got my proposal?

- The world's good.

- [Benny] I'm Benny
Begosian, The Average Guy.

- [Charlie] I like
that Average Guy

because he's just like me!

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

♪ The Goode family ♪