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1
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,671
Previously
on The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:04,463 --> 00:00:05,798
Want to grab some lunch?
3
00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:08,384
You know what? I don't think so.
4
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:10,136
Well, let me guess, you're not eating
5
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:13,723
because the mean girls circled
your chubby bits in marker?
6
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,184
No. That, that right there.
7
00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,728
That's the reason.
You're always making fun of me.
8
00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:20,605
Those are just jokes.
9
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,982
It's my way of saying
that we're friends,
10
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,985
and it wouldn't hurt you to drop a few.
11
00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:29,864
Fifteen years of constant ridicule.
12
00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:33,159
I think our relationship
has become toxic.
13
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,244
What are you saying?
14
00:00:36,746 --> 00:00:39,248
I think you and I need to spend
some time away from each other.
15
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,752
Look, I...
16
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,046
I can see you're upset, but...
17
00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:48,549
I'm gonna need some ground rules.
18
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:51,886
While we're apart,
can I see other needy Indian men?
19
00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,304
Get out!
20
00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,809
Hi Stuart, two questions.
21
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,978
Do you have the new Aquaman,
22
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:04,732
and do you mind if I use your
back room to smoke some meat?
23
00:01:07,318 --> 00:01:08,361
Well, since it's you asking,
24
00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:11,697
I'm gonna guess that's not a euphemism.
25
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,408
Why are you smoking meat?
26
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,661
And why are you reading Aquaman?
27
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:21,040
I am trying to make Amy
a historically accurate
28
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:24,377
Little House on the Prairie
dinner for her birthday, and
29
00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:27,797
I want to be able to say I was
reading it before it was cool.
30
00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,299
Wow, well, that's actually really sweet.
31
00:01:30,383 --> 00:01:32,969
The dinner thing.
The Aquaman thing's dumb.
32
00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:37,265
Is-Isn't Hailey's birthday
the same as Amy's?
33
00:01:37,348 --> 00:01:39,558
Yeah, but we're not doing
anything big 'cause she's one,
34
00:01:39,642 --> 00:01:42,770
Bernadette's on bed rest, and I'm lazy.
35
00:01:44,689 --> 00:01:45,731
Hey, guys.
36
00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,233
- Hello.
- Hey.
37
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:49,193
Howard.
38
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:50,528
Raj.
39
00:01:51,404 --> 00:01:52,989
Excuse me.
40
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,491
Really? Is this still happening?
41
00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:58,369
I'm willing to make up,
but someone's being a baby.
42
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,289
I do love a riddle. Let me see.
43
00:02:01,998 --> 00:02:03,708
See, my first guess would be Halley,
44
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,668
but that'd be strange to
accuse her of being a baby
45
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,253
'cause she is a baby.
46
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,171
Erm, I suppose it could be Stuart,
47
00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:11,841
his head does have
a certain milky scent.
48
00:02:15,553 --> 00:02:16,762
Although...
49
00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:19,640
It's me, Sheldon.
He's calling me a baby.
50
00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:23,185
No, I don't know. I saw Leonard
put his keys in his mouth today.
51
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,856
You're a grown man. Act like it.
52
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:30,109
Big talk coming from a guy
holding an Archie comic book.
53
00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:33,321
Hey, werewolf Jughead
is not your dad's Jughead.
54
00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:37,074
Come on, you guys have been
friends forever. Quit fighting.
55
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,284
I have an extra ticket
56
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:39,827
to the opening of The Last Jedi tonight.
57
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:42,204
It was gonna be Howard's,
but you can have it.
58
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:44,165
You two had a good run.
59
00:03:12,485 --> 00:03:14,737
Who wants to go see
Last Jedi again tonight?
60
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,364
- I'm in.
- Me, too.
61
00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,991
It'll be nice to see the parts
I missed while I was blinking.
62
00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:21,827
Hey, guys, there's a change of plans.
63
00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:24,455
We are having a party
for Hailey's birthday after all.
64
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:28,751
Turns out Bernadette and "anyone
who's not a heartless monster"
65
00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,170
thinks that's the right thing to do.
66
00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,881
I don't like kids,
but I do like birthday cake.
67
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:36,967
No. Wait, will there be
sugary icing flowers on it?
68
00:03:37,134 --> 00:03:38,344
I don't know.
69
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,554
I'll risk it.
70
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:43,516
But if I have a tantrum and have
to leave early, you'll know why.
71
00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:48,020
Here you go. Here you go.
72
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:51,148
See you two there.
73
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:52,358
Are you kidding me?
74
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,318
You're not gonna invite me
to Hailey's birthday?
75
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,487
I'm her godfather, that means something.
76
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,782
Or, hear me out on this. It doesn't.
77
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,243
Okay, that's enough.
78
00:04:02,326 --> 00:04:05,830
This fight either has to end
or get way more entertaining.
79
00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,917
Don't worry about it 'cause
I'm done putting up with him!
80
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:17,341
I know you have a lot on your mind,
81
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,927
but when do you think we'll have
an answer on those cake flowers?
82
00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:26,100
- Hey.
- Hey. What you reading?
83
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,852
It's your brother's Christmas letter.
84
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:31,272
Ugh. If there's a picture
of his wife and his kids
85
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:34,066
and his dogs and his horses
all in matching pajamas,
86
00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:36,110
I beg you to burn it.
87
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:39,280
The people's pajamas
have little horses on them,
88
00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,782
and the horses have little people.
89
00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:45,161
It's just his chance to brag
about how great his life is.
90
00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:46,370
Oh, come on, it's nice.
91
00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:47,997
You know that nonprofit he works with?
92
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,082
They built a hospital in Rwanda.
93
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:53,502
"Look at me.
I built a hospital in Rwanda."
94
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,381
That is a good point.
I hadn't thought of it that way.
95
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,383
- Hello.
- Hey.
96
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:02,678
So this is for Amy's birthday.
Can I leave it here?
97
00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:03,888
Sure. What is it?
98
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,264
A butter churn.
99
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:07,224
Ooh. That's what I got her.
100
00:05:08,934 --> 00:05:12,229
It's for her surprise
frontier birthday dinner.
101
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:13,772
I am making
102
00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:16,400
hardtack, boiled salt pork,
103
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:20,446
and because it's a special day,
a chewable gob of tree sap.
104
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,491
Is that good?
105
00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:25,493
Compared to other foods, no.
106
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:27,495
Compared to other parts of a tree?
Meh.
107
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:33,584
And then after dinner,
we will have birthday coitus.
108
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,671
Do you think that will also
be historically accurate?
109
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,132
I assume like the rest of frontier life,
110
00:05:40,216 --> 00:05:42,426
it'll be exhausting and short.
111
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,429
You're exhausting and short.
112
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:54,730
Hey, Stuart, you're coming
to Hailey's party, right?
113
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:58,400
You bet.
Plus, I live there and I was invited,
114
00:05:58,484 --> 00:06:01,028
so it's already better
than my 10th birthday party.
115
00:06:02,488 --> 00:06:04,990
- Great. Can you bring a few things?
- Sure. What do you need?
116
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:06,283
Balloons, streamers,
117
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,410
ice, snacks, a bounce house,
face painter,
118
00:06:08,494 --> 00:06:10,079
and a couple kids whose parents
are willing to lie and say
119
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:12,456
they know me from the Daddy
and Me class I've never been to.
120
00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:15,793
Where do you and Halley go every week?
121
00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,711
The important thing is we're together,
122
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:20,714
and if the movie gets
too violent, I cover her eyes.
123
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,468
Don't stress about this party.
124
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,178
She's one, she's not gonna remember.
125
00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:29,265
The other day I showed her
her toe, and she was shocked.
126
00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:32,935
It's not for the baby,
it's for Bernadette.
127
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,353
She's feeling guilty
128
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,939
about all the stuff
she's missing with Halley.
129
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,232
All right.
130
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,234
Uncle Stuart's got your back.
131
00:06:40,359 --> 00:06:42,570
Ain't no party like a Stuart party
132
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:46,115
because Stuart's
never invited to parties.
133
00:06:51,537 --> 00:06:53,330
Did the electricity go out?
134
00:06:53,872 --> 00:06:55,749
I don't know what you mean
by "electricity," ma'am.
135
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:59,128
I am just a farmer boy living in
a little house on the prairie.
136
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:06,802
I'm glad you're happy.
137
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,305
I wanted to do something special
for your birthday.
138
00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:13,309
You did,
you did! It's perfect!
139
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,394
You do know that my birthday's
tomorrow, right?
140
00:07:15,561 --> 00:07:18,647
This is just step one
of your birthday weekend.
141
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:22,776
Now, would you care to join me
for an authentic frontier dinner
142
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,236
made entirely from scratch?
143
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,448
I can't believe you did this.
It's amazing!
144
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:29,450
Oh, it's not a big deal.
145
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,577
Just to be clear, it was a big deal.
146
00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:35,664
I was being modest. You got that, right?
147
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,875
- Loud and clear.
- Well, I hope you're hungry.
148
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,168
Oh, I'm starving.
149
00:07:39,251 --> 00:07:43,339
Oh, good. Starvation is authentic
to the time period.
150
00:07:44,632 --> 00:07:46,258
If you also have malaria
151
00:07:46,342 --> 00:07:48,135
and a deep distrust of Native Americans,
152
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,304
we're really cooking with a wood stove.
153
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,514
Is that butter?
154
00:07:52,598 --> 00:07:54,475
Yes. But don't blow it all
on one biscuit.
155
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,310
Took me nine hours to make that.
156
00:07:57,353 --> 00:07:59,855
I think I got churner's elbow.
157
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,816
I know we only have coitus
on my birthday,
158
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,694
but I don't know if I can wait
until midnight.
159
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:08,447
Well, you'll be glad you did.
160
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,240
Everyone knows the best foreplay
161
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,534
is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.
162
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,666
Hey. What are you doing?
163
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:21,585
Oh, I've decided to write
my own Christmas letter.
164
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:22,670
So I'm gonna make a list
165
00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:24,296
of all the cool things we did this year.
166
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,465
Oh! Fun. Can I help?
167
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:29,635
Yes. Can you think of a single
cool thing we did this year?
168
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:34,098
Well, both of our jobs are going great.
169
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,267
Sure. I mean, my Air Force
project got taken away,
170
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,229
and you're not crazy about
selling pharmaceuticals.
171
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:44,566
I'll just write down "still employed."
172
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,986
Oh!
We had our second anniversary.
173
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:49,530
Yeah, but we did
174
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:50,823
kind of forget about it,
175
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:54,076
so... Maybe just write "still married."
176
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,746
Great. Okay.
177
00:08:58,122 --> 00:08:59,998
Okay, that's a start.
178
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:03,001
What else?
179
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:09,341
You know, maybe this is enough.
180
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,971
Let's look at our pictures.
That'll jog our memories.
181
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,598
What is that a picture of?
182
00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:19,184
Oh, that's a mole on my back.
183
00:09:21,437 --> 00:09:23,272
I wanted to make sure
it wasn't growing, so...
184
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,150
How'd you get a picture
of your own back?
185
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,277
Sheldon took it.
We're kind of mole buddies.
186
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:32,573
Hey, that's a cute picture.
187
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,450
Isn't that the day
we almost went to the beach?
188
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,534
Memorial Day?
189
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,745
No, that was the day we almost
went to the mountains.
190
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:39,163
Oh.
191
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,998
That's the great thing about California,
192
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,082
you can almost go to the mountains
193
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:43,208
and almost go to the beach
in the same day.
194
00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:44,752
Yeah.
195
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,886
Look, I'm sorry about
not inviting you
196
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:55,929
to Hailey's birthday.
That wasn't cool.
197
00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:58,515
And of course we would
love to have you. Here.
198
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,519
Thank you.
I'd really like to be there.
199
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:05,647
Great, 'cause it's tomorrow,
and I need you to plan it.
200
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,318
What?
201
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:10,402
Stuart was gonna help,
202
00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:12,863
but the free clinic had
an open spot for a colonoscopy,
203
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,490
and he jumped on it.
204
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:19,745
Wait, so you're just apologizing
because you need something?
205
00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:23,457
Yes, and I think it's pretty
mature of me to admit it.
206
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:25,667
Well, that's very insulting.
207
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:28,504
Right again.
Are you gonna help me or not?
208
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,839
No, I will not help you.
209
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:35,427
But I will help Halley.
210
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:37,971
She's my goddaughter, and I love her.
211
00:10:38,388 --> 00:10:39,681
And I have a lot of party favors
212
00:10:39,765 --> 00:10:41,809
left over from
Cinnamon's birthday, so...
213
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:46,855
I hope she likes things that
squeak when you chew on them.
214
00:10:47,606 --> 00:10:50,442
She's a human being, not an animal.
215
00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:52,694
But that actually would be a hit.
216
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,616
Can I get you anything else?
217
00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,744
No, thanks. I think I'm good.
218
00:11:00,828 --> 00:11:03,789
You sure?
There's still plenty of pork fat.
219
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:07,459
Although, if we don't eat it,
I suppose we could turn it into soap.
220
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,963
That might taste better.
221
00:11:14,258 --> 00:11:16,343
I think I'm just gonna go over here
and sit on the couch.
222
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,721
Great. Then we will move on
to stage two,
223
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,932
the pitching of woo.
224
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,435
Ooh!
225
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:31,191
Should I read you some bawdy
19th century limericks?
226
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,943
Okay.
227
00:11:33,235 --> 00:11:34,278
Oh, here.
228
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:37,030
"There once was a priest
from Terre Haute
229
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,783
"who purchased a sheep and a goat..."
230
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,870
Hold on a second.
231
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,621
Is it getting hot in here?
232
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,874
Well, I didn't even get
to the dirty part yet.
233
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,294
No, I'm serious.
234
00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:53,046
Do you think there was
something wrong with that food?
235
00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:56,049
Frontier scallops? I shouldn't think so.
236
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,303
My stomach's feeling a little weird.
237
00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:01,763
Yeah. Mine, too.
238
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:05,392
I'm sure it's just the first
sharp cramps of arousal.
239
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:14,693
No. This doesn't feel right.
240
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,529
Hey, hey, save that sexy talk
for the bedroom.
241
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,783
You know, if you'll excuse me,
242
00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:25,162
I am just going to go freshen up.
243
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:31,335
Sheldon?
244
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,794
I'll be out in a minute.
245
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:35,297
I don't have a minute!
246
00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:44,765
I can't believe you pulled
this all together overnight.
247
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:47,643
If I had more time, I could
have gotten the Blue Man Group.
248
00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:50,729
One of them goes to my dry cleaner.
249
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,940
Who, by the way, hates him.
250
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:55,442
You really saved the day.
251
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,861
Well, it's not for you. It's for Halley.
252
00:12:58,070 --> 00:12:59,112
And I'm sure
253
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:02,824
she'd appreciate it, if she knew
what's going on or who you are.
254
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,584
Morning.
255
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,419
Happy birthday.
256
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,922
Yeah, sure.
257
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,717
Did you sleep at all?
258
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,886
No. You?
259
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:26,098
I passed out on the toilet once.
260
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,267
I don't know if that counts.
261
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:31,353
Feel any better?
262
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,605
I feel terrible.
263
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,067
Well,
264
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,195
should we make love now?
265
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,282
How can you even think about sex?
266
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:48,203
Hey, I'm a man,
I have annual needs just like anyone.
267
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:52,040
And besides,
it's our birthday tradition.
268
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,836
You think you can do it
269
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:59,214
while I lie perfectly still
and you don't touch me?
270
00:14:01,633 --> 00:14:03,510
I can try.
271
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,685
Want to do it again?
272
00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:16,732
- Morning.
- Morning.
273
00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:20,027
"Kept Fern alive"? Who's Fern?
274
00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:24,656
No, the fern. The one in the bathroom.
275
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,951
We're really calling
that brown thing alive? Okay.
276
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,039
So, how long have you
been working on this?
277
00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:33,540
Couple of hours.
278
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:36,835
I took a break to try to beat
my high score on Mario Kart.
279
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:38,503
Well, did you do it?
280
00:14:38,754 --> 00:14:40,464
Do you see it on the board?
281
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:43,967
Okay, this is silly.
Our lives are great.
282
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,093
I think so, too.
283
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,304
So then why is this bugging you so much?
284
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:52,225
I guess it feels like everyone's
moving forward, and we're stuck.
285
00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,310
What do you mean?
286
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:57,564
Well, we've been married two years.
Should we think about what's next?
287
00:14:57,647 --> 00:15:00,233
Like buying a house or having a baby?
288
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:02,152
Look, I want to do
all those things someday,
289
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:03,945
but there's a bunch of stuff
I want to do first.
290
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,197
Okay, like what?
291
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:08,784
I don't know, stay thin and have money.
292
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:11,161
No, no, I'm serious.
293
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,580
If there's things we want to do,
let's start doing them.
294
00:15:13,955 --> 00:15:16,875
Okay. Well, we've never been
on a big trip together.
295
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:18,210
I would love that.
296
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:19,586
Okay, there's something for your letter.
297
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:22,339
"Considered going on a trip."
298
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:25,634
It's just a day trip,
299
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:28,261
but we could take the ferry
out to Catalina.
300
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,679
Great, let's do it.
301
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:32,265
Amy's in the bathroom and I need to...
302
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:41,149
It's like I can hear the ocean already.
303
00:15:44,069 --> 00:15:46,655
Okay. Thanks for letting me know.
304
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:48,156
Hey, what's going on?
305
00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,326
Bernadette's sister's kids are sick
and they're not coming.
306
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:54,579
But they're the whole reason
the cupcakes are vegan!
307
00:15:55,831 --> 00:15:58,250
- How's the party coming?
- Good!
308
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,378
Great! Our friends
should be here any second!
309
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:04,464
Those are the only
other people you invited?
310
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:06,842
What about the kids
from the Daddy and Me class?
311
00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:08,343
Grow up.
312
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,349
- Uh-oh.
- What?
313
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,351
I left the food out.
314
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,020
You afraid it's gonna go good?
315
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:24,985
How are you feeling?
316
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:29,030
My stomach aches, I got the chills,
317
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,158
my mouth tastes weird,
318
00:16:31,575 --> 00:16:34,744
it hurts to swallow,
and I've got a little double vision.
319
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:36,246
Yeah.
320
00:16:36,538 --> 00:16:38,081
I'm feeling better, too.
321
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:49,759
- Well, this party's a disaster.
- Don't blame the party!
322
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,511
You know how many favors
I had to call in
323
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:54,556
with my bounce house guy
to get Wonder Woman?
324
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,767
Is that Wonder Woman?
325
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,104
Technically,
it's a Chinese knockoff called
326
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,315
Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady.
327
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,776
Then I take it back, it's a great party.
328
00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:09,112
Well, you can sit here
and sulk if you want.
329
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,198
I'm gonna go celebrate
Hailey's first birthday.
330
00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,992
Which I planned with no help from you.
331
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,368
What are you doing?
332
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:18,330
It's a bounce house!
I'm gonna go bounce in it!
333
00:17:19,831 --> 00:17:21,458
You're supposed to take your shoes off
334
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,084
before you go in there!
335
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,214
You know what?
336
00:17:27,339 --> 00:17:30,091
I'm stressed about
my daughter's birthday party.
337
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:31,593
I don't need your attitude.
338
00:17:31,676 --> 00:17:32,928
Well, I worked really hard on this,
339
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:35,055
and you haven't even said thank you.
340
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:36,598
I'm sorry. Thank you.
341
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:37,807
Thank you for blaming me
342
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:39,684
for everything
that's wrong in your life!
343
00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:42,395
Thank you for walking out
on our friendship!
344
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,897
You are welcome!
345
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:46,399
And thank you for mocking me
for all of these years!
346
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:48,777
Thank you for making it so easy!
347
00:17:50,695 --> 00:17:52,489
Why are you being such a jerk?
348
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,534
Because you're my best friend
and you hurt my feelings!
349
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,454
Well, you're my best friend
and you hurt my feelings!
350
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:04,209
I can't believe you shoved me!
351
00:18:06,378 --> 00:18:08,046
Well, I can't believe you shoved me!
352
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,714
But it was kind of fun, wasn't it?
353
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,259
- It was! Do it again!
- Gladly!
354
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:16,596
Okay, now at the same time!
355
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,599
That was awesome!
356
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:22,143
Yeah, okay, this time, knees, then feet.
357
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,728
One, two, three.
358
00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:28,692
Again! Again!
359
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:34,072
Hello.
360
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:35,282
- Hi.
- You made it.
361
00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:36,449
How you two feeling?
362
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:37,784
Oh, a little better.
363
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:38,910
Those books should have been called
364
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:41,329
Little Outhouse on the Prairie.
365
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,708
Hailey's awake
and ready for her party!
366
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,875
Be right up!
367
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,169
- I want to see the birthday girl.
- I'd love to see her.
368
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:51,715
Walk slow, it takes a while
to put this bra back on!
369
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,344
You know,
370
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,555
it's still your birthday.
371
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:00,348
It is.
372
00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:04,352
And we are both feeling better.
373
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,647
We are.
374
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,899
And there's no one in that bounce house.
375
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,443
No.
376
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,361
Great.
377
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:15,613
Let's go jump for a bit,
378
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:17,949
and then find a bedroom
to have coitus in.
26555
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