All language subtitles for The.Big.Bang.Theory.S11E07.1080p.BluRay.Remux

Hey, uh, who's free tonight?

- Oh, I think I'm...
- Hang on,

we've made this mistake before.

It's how we wound up
at his cousin Deepak's Tupperware party.

Hey, you use that collapsible bowl
all the time and you know it.

And it's not like that,

I just thought we could, you know,
hang out and go to a bar.

- Very well.
- That sounds fun.

And watch cricket.

That sound you hear?
Ironically, crickets.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Bert, how you doing?

Well, you know,

we geologists always get a little sad
when Rocktober's over.

- Wordplay?
- Yes.

- Funny wordplay?
- What do you think?

Eh.

Trust your gut.

Sheldon, I've got these
four billion-year-old meteorites.

I thought maybe they'd show signs
of neutrino interactions.

I could really use someone like you
to help me with the math.

Oh, so they would act as
natural dark matter detectors.

- That sounds interesting.
- It does,

but it's still geology.

Sorry, Bert, I don't have time
to play rocks with you.

I'm not asking you to play rocks.

I'm asking you to collaborate
on a research project.

Although, if there's time,

I guess we could play a round of
zinc, zinc, piece of quartz.

Does sound better than cricket.

Uh, thank you for asking. Unfortunately,
I have real science to do.

But you feel free to rock on.

That's how you do it.

All right.

Sheldon, what are you doing?
Bert's one of the top guys in his field.

And somewhere there's a mime
who's top in his field,

but you don't see me rushing
to collaborate with him

on new ways to be stuck in a box.

Yeah, also something I would watch
instead of cricket.

Oh, hello.

Hey, Sheldon.

Yeah, I've been thinking about it

and I suppose I could help you
with your research.

What changed your mind?

Bert, I'm a gift horse.
Don't look me in the mouth.

Sorry. I'm happy you wanna help out.

If it's easier for you
we could just work at your office.

What? No, no, no. Not in my office, no.

Uh, let's do it here,

in the evenings,

after everyone's gone home.

I just have to see
if my evenings are free.

That's a joke. They are.

Okay. Well, then I will see you tonight.

You know what,

close the blinds,
we can start right now.

I don't get how you can enjoy cricket.
It makes no sense.

Did you just come here to complain?

Yeah. That's the sport of my people.

Oh, that's Ravichandran Ashwin,
he's amazing.

He makes Hardik Pandya look like
Bhuvneshwar Kumar.

Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Save some syllables for the rest of us.

Hey, I think that's
Bernadette's friend over there.

Oh, yeah. Hey, Ruchi.

I hope this isn't awkward.

The last time we met
I kind of embarrassed myself.

Hmm, let's see if you can
go two for two.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

- Hi.
- Are you here by yourself?

Yeah, I couldn't convince anyone
to come watch cricket with me.

Tell me about it.
I had to drag this guy.

You're more than welcome
to join us if you'd like.

Thanks.

What'd she say?

Ah, that clears that up.

She's telling the bowler
to bowl a yorker.

It's the most brutal ball in cricket.

I was at the match when Shoaib bowled
back-to-back yorkers.

I was there too. What a coincidence.

Well, there were 120,000 people
at that match, so...

Yeah, India, right?

Everywhere you go
there's like 120,000 people.

So, what do you think of our chances
at the World Cup?

Uh, World Cup. You know, it'll all
depend if Kohli's batting in form.

I know, it doesn't even matter
how many all-rounders you have.

Isn't that the truth.

You know, I was the best leg spinner
in my high school.

Yeah, like, I bowled the meanest googly.

Speaking of googlies,
I'm gonna go.

I've been modeling different types
of dark matter

and the traces they would leave
on the zircon inside your meteorite.

What's this one here?

That's actually a dark matter model
of my own creation.

I call it the Cooper Boson.

Cool. I got to name a rock once.

I named it Moderately Sedimented Shale.

Guess I kind of pooped the bed
on that one.

You know, Bert, I have got to say,

this work has been
surprisingly engaging.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Hello, Amy.

What do you mean, where am I?

I'm in my office.

No, I'm at your office
and you're not here.

I thought I'd surprise you with dinner.

Wait, for future reference,
the best surprises

are the ones I know about
three days in advance.

Where are you?

I could say it's a surprise.
Doesn't feel so good, does it?

Well, I have food.
I thought we could eat together,

but I guess if you have other plans...

What? I'm here!

Exactly where I said I was.

Let's eat.

- Hello.
- Hey, buddy, what's up?

Um, I need to talk to Penny alone.

- What can I do for you?
- Just a minute,

I wanna make sure Leonard can't hear us.

I've got a box of cupcakes.

Okay, we're good.

I'm working with Bert,

but I don't want anyone to find out.

Well, you just told me,
so, strong start.

Penny, this is serious.

My reputation is on the line.

What are people gonna think
when they see us collaborating?

I don't know. "Poor Bert"?

I am a respected theoretical physicist.

I aspire to win a Nobel Prize someday.

But no one is gonna take me seriously

if they find out I've been
dabbling in geology.

Well, why not? They're both sciences.

And I know, because they're classes

my high school counselor said
"weren't for me."

They're very different.

Physics answers the question,
"What is the nature of the universe?"

And geology answers the question,
"What'd I just trip over?"

All right, well,
then don't work with Bert.

No, but I like the work.

- Then work with him.
- Yeah, but I'm ashamed of the field.

- Then don't work with him.
- Yeah, but we could prove dark matter.

- Then work with him.
- But I just think that people...

How many times are you gonna do this?

My record is 14.

Okay, this is about science,
why'd you come to me?

Well, because it's also about
my reputation.

And somehow,
you manage to hold your head high

despite your checkered past.

"Checkered past"?

I's a figure of speech referring to
how sexually promiscuous you were.

Really? Well, I've got
a figure of speech

about how sexually promiscuous
you can go be with yourself.

And what is it?

Look, while Bernadette's on bed rest

we're gonna have to divide and conquer.

I've got one monitor for her,
one for the baby.

Which do you want?

I'll take the baby,
she's less emasculating.

Good morning. Scones?

- Ah, thanks.
- They're all for you,

I already had breakfast at Ruchi's.

You're kidding. You slept with her?

Well, there wasn't
a lot of sleeping involved.

I mean, she slept, I stayed awake.

I was afraid of snoring
'cause I didn't have my special pillow.

Howardl

Can you help me to the bathroom?

At least the romance
is still alive.

So...

You and Ruchi.

Yeah, I'm sorry,
I know you liked her too.

But we just bumped into each other
last night and hit it off.

Hmm, no, that's fine.

You're my friend and I'm happy for you.

Oh, thank you, Stuart.

Plus, I don't know how you're gonna
screw it up, but I know you will.

What's there to screw up?

She just wants to keep things casual.

Oh, great. That's how you're gonna
screw it up.

Hey, I can be casual.

Mmm-hmm. I should get a haircut,
this thing's going south fast.

So, Ruchi and I decided
to keep things casual.

Wait... What? I can handle casual.

Why do you keep doing that
with your face?

Because you keep saying
stupid things with yours.

Okay, fine,

I'm not great at casual relationships

and I don't wanna scare her off.

All right.
Just give her some space, all right.

Don't call, don't text, don't e-mail.

That's crazy. What if I see a sunset
that reminds me of her?

All right, when do you see her next?

Uh, we're having dinner tonight.

Okay,

put a rubber band around your wrist

and any time you start planning
your wedding or naming your children,

I want you to stab yourself
in the hand with a fork.

What's the rubber band for?

To slow the bleeding.

Hey, how's Bernadette handling bed rest?

Well, she lies around all day
eating Mallomars and hollering at me,

so her transformation from
my wife to my mother is complete.

Congratulations, I know
that's what you were hoping for.

Hey, Sheldon, you left your jacket
in my office last night.

No, I didn't.
That's not my jacket.

Then why does it say
"Property of S. Cooper,

"stop touching it"?

That sounds like someone named Scooper
doesn't want you touching his jacket.

Are you guys working together
on that meteorite project?

Yes, fine. You found me out.

I'm doing geology.

Just, please, don't tell anyone.

Are you embarrassed of me?

Oh, no, no, no. Not you.

No, just the work that
you've devoted your entire life to.

If you're ashamed to be working with me
then I don't wanna work with you.

Sheldon, that was pretty rude.

Yeah, well, what do you expect,
he's a geologist.

- This place seems nice.
- Yeah, uh,

but not too nice.
Yelp called it "good for groups."

- Would you care to buy the lady a...
- No! Get out of here.

Sorry about that.

I just... I hate when someone assumes
two people are dating

just because they look like they would
make beautiful babies together.

Are you sure you're okay with this?

Honestly, Ruchi,

I don't have a lot of experience
with casual relationships.

I have some experience
with serious relationships

and a ton of experience
with no relationships.

- You're funny.
- Glad it came off that way.

Uh, so, tell me about your day.

How's work going?

Well, I spent the morning reviewing
side effects for our fungal cream,

so it was lot of ooze and pus...

And then I had to catalog it by color,

viscosity

and percentage of blood.

Sounds wonderful.

- Hey.
- Hmm.

Whatcha got there?

A rock.

Did some mean boys throw it at you?

It turns out I'm the mean boy.

Although I did drop it on my own foot,
so, kind of.

What's going on?

What if there was something
I wanted to do,

but I was worried other people
would think less of me?

Is that other person me
and does it happen in the bedroom,

in which case, I think I'm cool with it?

No.

It's about working with Bert on...

You know what,
I'm not even gonna say it.

I am just gonna say
the letter it starts with

and "ology."

G... Oh, no, that's not gonna work.

- Geology?
- Yes.

But we parted ways because
I was worried about my reputation.

Sheldon,

you've never cared what people thought.

Even when you really, really should.

That dinner with my parents
comes to mind.

If I'm not gonna use "your momma" jokes
when I meet your mother,

why'd I bother to learn them?

I'm just saying,

if you think the work is interesting,

nothing else should matter.

You're right, Amy.

That is sage advice.

Which is surprising considering
your momma is so dumb, she...

Nope.

She studied for a urine test.

I was supposed to go back
to India and get married,

but I realized it wasn't what I wanted.

So I called off the engagement
and moved out here.

Well, if he wasn't your soulmate,
he wasn't your soulmate.

Oh, God, please tell me
you're not one of those.

One of what?

I wanna say "teenage girls,"

but that sounds mean.

Come on. You don't believe that
everyone has one perfect match?

Of course not. That's ridiculous.

I mean, what if your soulmate
lived halfway across the world?

- You'd never meet.
- Yes, you would.

I can give you, like, 20 examples

where that happened
to Kate Hudson alone.

You know what, people get upset
when I talk about this.

Let's just change the subject.

No, no, no. No, it's fine.

Are you saying that you don't believe
two people fall in love?

Of course, they do.
It's just that what people call "love"

is actually a series of
biochemical reactions in the brain

that fade over time.

Ah, yes. Like the old song,

When a Man Has a Biochemical Reaction
for a Woman.

Raj, we're scientists.

We don't need to feel threatened
just because we understand

the mechanisms that give rise
to romantic feelings.

It doesn't take anything away
from the experience.

Yes, it does.

Actually, it takes everything
away from it.

Love isn't just science, okay.

It's spiritual.

It's an acknowledgment of a mystery
that's greater than ourselves.

It's what makes people
write songs and poems

and what has kept The Bachelor on TV
for 21 magical seasons.

Don't you think the fact

that love is given away
as a prize on a game show

slightly undermines your argument?

Uh, yes, but I've
never missed an episode

and I dare science to explain that.

Bert? Bert, Bert?

Bert, Bert, Bert?

What do you want, Sheldon?

I would like us to work together again.

And I promise to keep
my geology comments to myself

because while some of them are funny,

all of them are mean.

Well, this is awkward.

Leonard, what are you doing here?

Bert asked for my help.

Yeah. He's an excellent scientist

and he doesn't tell me
what time I can go to the bathroom.

It's called bladder training,

and when you're in your 80s
you'll thank me for it.

Look, Sheldon, you were a jerk to Bert,
and he walked away from you.

So I feel like there's a lot
he could teach me.

Bert, please.

I know I behaved poorly
in the past,

but things will be different this time.
You'll see.

Come on.

Let me in.

We'll have some laughs,

we'll calculate some isotope ratios.

I'm sorry, Sheldon.

So, you just shut the door in his face?

I gotta start writing this stuff down.

I mean, Ruchi is nice,

we're just so different.

I know. Sometimes when you're dating
you meet weird people.

I once met a girl
who didn't like juggling.

And she still doesn't.

So you're not gonna see her again?

What's the point? We're never
gonna be in a real relationship.

Right. So you'll only be
in a physical one?

Exactly. Why would I wanna spend time
with someone like that?

Someone who is just interested in sex?

Yeah.

- Raj, do you really...
- Wait! Hold on, give him a chance.

He's gonna get this.

I don't think he is.

What is there to get?

She doesn't want to fall in love.

At that point, all we are

is two single people who find
each other attractive and enjoy having...

Oh, gotta go.

So, how was your night with Ruchi?

Oh, great. We ordered in some food,

we had sex, I left.

I didn't even ask if she enjoyed it.

I can field that one for her.

I mean, I did get a little misty
when we said goodbye,

but I played it off as allergies.

I don't know if she bought it.

Again, I know.

Sheldon?

You okay?

Sheldon.