Original subtitles

Well, good night, son.

Oh, Dad?

What is the mind?

Is it just a system of impulses or is it something tangible?

Relax.

What is mind?

No matter.

What is matter.

Never mind.

Thanks, Dad.

Good night, son.

Good night, Lisa.

Good night, Mom.

Sweet dreams.

Thanks, Mom.

Sleep tight.

Tell it all, Mom.

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Bed bugs?

The boy, baby, in the tree top, when the wind blows, the cradle will rot.

When the bell breaks, the cradle will fall.

And the home will come baby, cradle and fall.

Sweet dreams, Mom.

We

may be the best parents in the world.

Good night, dear.

Good night.

Good night, Tana.

Good night, host!

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Well, here we are.

The whole family.

All together, sharing, getting to know each other, exchanging ideas, stories and labs.

Snuggling up, bonding together is only a tightly knit family can.

Why we're more than that?

Ah, you can stop now.

Commercials are going to show us back on.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Come on, Bart.

Leap into your father's arms.

Come on, just like the old days.

I'm too big now, Dad.

There's no way.

Oh, boy.

Leap to it at a boy.

Come on, Bart.

You call that a leap?

Dad, why are we doing this?

You've always been afraid of falling on your head ever since you were a little baby.

I'm trying to help you overcome that fear.

You want me to jump?

Because I've always been jumpy?

That's a good one, son.

I've always been jumpy.

Yeah.

Mom, this is really dumb.

My head still hurts from the last two times.

Let's go, boy.

No excuses.

I want to see some The guy.

I haven't got all day.

Now leap and give it all you've got.

Do I have to?

Arch.

I'll get it.

Good news, son.

The boxing gloves have arrived.

I'm going shopping now.

But I'm gone.

I want you to keep a close eye on me.

Right, Mom.

Right, Mom.

Where's Maggie?

Who cares?

I'll shut up.

You shut up.

Do you hear something?

Forget it.

Good.

You'll hear another one if you don't shut your tram.

Hey!

Did you two keep an eye on Maggie?

Yeah, Mom.

Yeah, Mom.

Who wants me?

Yeah, she is such a baby.

What a little baby you are.

Don't you have a self-respect?

You don't be as close around second on past as prior.

It's trying to grow up.

A little one.

What?

Another pacifier?

Or a depraved little infant?

We're just trying to help you.

Yeah, help you.

Quick bottles.

You can have your dumb pacifier.

If we can.

We don't need pacifiers.

We're big.

We watch TV.

We have a chair.

What?

For us?

No way, man.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

What are you kids doing now?

We're having a contest, Mom.

What?

We're having a burp contest, Mom.

Well, knock it off.

I do not allow burping in this house.

I love Mom.

But

the show must go on.

What?

What did I say about burping?

I shouldn't.

No burping.

And when I say no burping, what do I mean?

That's right.

No burping.

I know you won't disappoint me.

Watch this.

The burp champion of the world.

Burp?

I mean, Burp, are you burping again?

What is it with this burping?

Why?

What's the thrill?

It's fun.

It's cold.

It's vulgar.

It's impolite.

And it's nauseating.

That's what I said.

It's fun.

I'm still the burp champion of the world.

Bye.

Meet the new champ.

Watch this.

Oh, yeah.

How many times do I have to tell you kids?

I am absolutely for big burping in this household.

How's it going, everybody?

Oops.

Pardon my French.

Thanks, man.

Good one, Dad.

Dinner.

Hot meal.

Come and get it.

Hearty and nutritious.

Right here.

Anyone who doesn't get his or her button here, pronto, will go without dessert.

Hold it, everybody.

We forgot to say great.

Hey, that's right.

The family could use a little reverence around here.

Good drink.

Good meat.

Good god, let's see.

Hold on, all of you.

There's no need to slurp your soup so loudly.

She's right, your little slobs.

Let's try a little dignity around here.

I don't want to hear any slurping.

Right, Mom.

Oogie doggy, Mom.

Dinner shouldn't be even in silence.

This should be a time for communication.

That's a good idea, dear.

Bart, turn on the TV.

On tonight's news, bus plunge kills 43.

Freak rollercoaster accident decapitate the family of...

Go for it, Bart.

Go on for the long bomb.

Okay, Dad.

At a boy, Bart, catch this one and a by-all chocolate milkshakes.

Next time, put a little effort into it, boy.

Catch this one and we all get chocolate milkshakes.

Faster, Bart.

Bend, Bart.

Bend.

Get, Bart.

Don't, Bart, don't.

Good, Bart.

That boy just don't listen.

Come on, Bart.

Catch the ball so we can all go out for some frosty chocolate milkshakes.

Yeah, Bart.

Start running, boy.

Go, Bart, go.

Go, Bart, go.

Chocolate milkshakes, here we come.

Oh, Bart, go.

Oh, yeah, he caught us.

When I said catch, I meant with your hands.

Well, Bart, you put in a good effort today, so we're all being rewarded.

Good and slurping.

Bart, you're not touching your milkshake, aren't you hungry?

Well, if you won't drink it, I will.

Watch this ugly face.

That's nothing.

Check this out.

That's nothing, man.

Check this.

You can't make ugly faces.

Well, you know, if you keep making those faces, you'll freeze that way,

and you'll be stuck with a horrible face forever.

Do you think mom was telling the truth?

Mom wouldn't lie.

All right.

Watch this scary face.

Oh, yeah.

That's not scary.

Oh, yeah.

That's not scary.

Oh, yeah.

That's not scary.

I call this face the hour monkey.

I call this face dad.

All right.

I told you if you kept making those horrible faces, they'd freeze that way.

And now they have.

They have?

Our faces are frozen.

Yes, they are.

Go look in the mirror and see for yourselves.

Ah!

We're doomed!

Look, Maggie, what a little bundle of joy.

You can tell what it's thinking by its body language.

I think it's body language is saying I want to play.

This little piggy went to market.

This little piggy stayed home.

This little piggy had roast beef.

And this little piggy had none.

And this little piggy went wee, wee, wee, wee.

I think it's body language is saying games over.

Look at it, just lying there.

I wonder how wee looked at it.

You're a little sister.

You're a little girl.

You're a little girl.

One of us.

Just make Maggie some day if you're lucky.

You'll grow up to be just like us.

Do you think a little baby could possibly

imagine what its future is going to be like?

I wonder if it has any hopes or dreams or fantasies.

Maybe it's supposed to sound good to be no sicker.

Help, help, help, my man.

Maybe it's thinking how much it loves us.

I guess we'll never know.

I can almost taste that trout already.

Where are we?

And a cheddar boy to get the boat in the water.

Oh, I'm a drift!

I'm a drift!

Oh, oh, oh.

Well, for a second there I thought I was up a creek without a paddle.

Dad?

That's me a baloney sandwich there, boy.

Uh oh.

Don't tell me you forgot to bring the baloney sandwiches.

I want my baloney sandwich now.

Daddy, go, sir.

What are you staring at?

Go on, have a sandwich yourself.

I'm hungry.

Mmm, good.

I could have squirted with more worms.

Hey!

Why?

Drap it!

I don't panic.

Just keep calm.

And once they're bright through them.

Oh no!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

That was mildly enjoyable, sir.

Things that little daddy were singing before, boy.

We found my nerves.

We'll go.

We'll go down the stream.

Mally, Mally, Mally, Mally, Mally, Mally, Mally.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Life is but a dream.

One of the most difficult of all human endeavors, The house of cards.

What are you doing?

Really neat part.

A pile of cards.

Take it easy.

Whatever you do, don't get the cheaters.

One false move and you're a gunner.

You're two tons.

Relax.

We've got to learn to listen to our advice.

Can I get a go at it at home?

You can come in there, but don't like any noise.

It'll sound... it's very precarious.

This is one small step for a kid, one giant leap for kid con.

I've got a great idea.

Let's play space patrols.

I'll be pursuing the Devil May Care rocket pilot.

Now you can be my gator.

You're spunky sidekick.

And you'll be... My Tron.

The evil robot from Mars gone berserk.

I need to see my lovable sidekick, Magini.

In mortal danger, being liquidated by the horrible robot from Mars.

That's next time you'll be just your evil way, my Tron.

I'm myself, my Tron.

Tell us where the magic space crystals I can say to the galaxy are hidden.

We're going to be there.

Speak American, by Tron.

We are going to understand not so much now.

Magina has rendered by Trons anti-gravity belt functional.

Hail Magina!

Do I understand you correctly by Tron?

Do you wish me to release you from the helmet

of evil thoughts with my enchanted space one?

I would do it by Tron.

Like who knows, but mysterious forces will be unleashed.

I don't know.

Inside the evil by Tron is a horrible mutant boy.

We'll save you to mom and dad the evil overlords.

Tell her.

Children, we have some very sad news for you.

I think you'd better sit down.

Children, your elderly uncle Heelbert has passed away.

Do you have any questions?

Yeah, what does past away mean?

You know, kick the bucket, pull the croak chain out of meeting with old Mr.

Grimm, the part that you died.

What the family care to view the loved one at this time?

Oh boy, I've never seen a dead body before that

his skin will be all greeny, clammy and stuff.

It'll be just like a zombie movie only real.

Man, this is so small.

Steady boys.

Easy there.

Whoa, little to the left.

Your children are very very naughty today.

Your father and I are quite disappointed in the three of you.

This is absolutely the last funeral we ever take you kids to.

Hey there boy, mom took the girls to the ballet tonight.

So it's just you and me, kid.

So set up the TV craze and let's get started.

You want the frozen fish nuggets or the pork coroni?

I got an idea.

Let's mix them together.

Smorgas pork style.

Lot, fish pork coroni, eligible.

Oh that dad would it be too late for me to catch a brush to the ballet?

Where'd he go?

Bart Bart Bart Amir weight.

Yeah, tastes like dog food.

Barts.

Do you eat a dog food?

Turn you into a dog.

Barts.

Well, that answers that question.

You're not touching your fish pork nuggets of Roni boy.

Whoops, dropped my fork.

Finished already?

Hmm, lick the plate clean.

Good, cuz there's plenty more where that came from.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

The ballet was the bone.

Oh, it was just... What's that smell?

Oh, look at that.

Are all two husky men snuggle together on the couch.

Last that bucket of fish pork nuggets of Roni this way.

Come on, man.

No, no, the five fish pork lids.

Oh, isn't that sweet?

Fresh chocolate chip cookies.

Don't touch those yet.

They're very hot.

No one's around.

The perfect crime.

I hope I can trust you too.

Not to eat those yummy chocolate chip cookies.

Go on, Maggie.

Take a good one.

cookie.

Aw, come on, man.

Don't be a chicken.

Well, if you won't commit the perfect crime, I will.

Very good, Maggie.

You prevented bark from making a mess.

I mean, I don't even think about touching those scrumptious cookies.

Who's you gonna believe, huh?

You or me?

You can't just burn yourself.

You can't even talk.

I'll blame it all on you.

The perfect crime.

But, I was home now.

I swear it.

Do I smell cookies?

Where's the cookies?

Oh, come the whole batch.

Somebody ate those cookies.

Do we eat the cookies, Maggie?

I think she's trying to tell us something.

Oh, Maggie.

Go on, Maggie.

Go.

Go.

There's no perfect crime.

And he has scary story.

Once upon a time, there was an evil insane maniac.

Bark, why can't you tell the story with the lights on?

Okay, you little babies.

You can't find the light switch.

It's gone.

Everybody come free.

Once upon a time, there was a psychopathic strangler on the loose in a dark house.

They couldn't see him, but they could hear his breathing.

It was dark.

All was silent.

And then they heard it.

The sound of the crafty vampire sucking blood from the neck of his latest victim.

And now for the scariest story of all.

Once upon a time, the three little children sat shivering in the dark.

Suddenly, they heard footsteps.

Listen, you can almost hear them.

Coming closer and closer.

And then the footsteps stopped.

How come you're always wearing that hat?

Fashion statement, Dad.

Take off the hat, boy.

You go get a haircut.

Right now.

I was afraid this moment would come.

Wow, what would be sunny?

Just a little off the top, sir.

Oh, sure thing.

There you go.

What do you think?

What the hell did you do to my hair?

Oh, I'd be five dollars, please.

Here's a sucker.

Isn't that boy back from the barber yet?

I heard him sneaking around in his bedroom.

Art, front and center!

I'll take it off, but you all got a promise you won't laugh, okay?

Promise?

We promise!

He's your grandpa.

Now, get in there and talk to him.

Gather around, kids.

And I'll tell you about the good old days.

You know, when I was your age, I had to walk 20 miles just to get to school.

And back then, we didn't have pacifiers.

We had to suck on pieces of wood.

And in my day, we didn't have TV sets.

We used to sit on a grandpa's lap all evening

and listen politely to his entertaining stories.

Was your grandpa alive or two?

No, but his lap was awful slippery.

Once upon a time, there was a happy little owl.

Can't something bad happen to the owl.

A happy little owl hummed a happy little owl, too.

Oh, come on, man.

But suddenly, the happy little owl stopped!

Why'd that happen to the elf stop?

Because he realized he was actually a clumsy little owl.

Come on, Graham.

Tell us a scary story.

You want it scary, eh?

That's right old time.

This is a story of a very...

You killed grandpa.

No way, man.

Society killed grandpa.

Face it, Bart.

You're doomed.

Uh-oh.

Which you prefer, Bart?

The gas chamber?

Or the electric chair?

I was just pulling your leg.

Hallelujah!

He's alive!

That's what I like to see.

Everybody having a good time.

Bart?

Wake up, everybody!

It's World War III!

Quick, down to the fallout shelter.

The bombs are dropping!

18 seconds.

If this were really a nuclear war, we all be dead meat by now.

Say, we're all shivering.

Are you cold or what?

Wake up, wake up!

It's World War III!

I mean it this time!

No kidding around!

Ah, here we are.

Once again, you're timing, sir.

Eesh, on a bunch of crumbs.

Wake up, wake up!

It's the end of the world!

Come on, man!

I'm timing you!

If we're all fast enough, this will be our last nuclear war drill.

If we're quick enough, you'll let us sleep.

Let's go, go, go!

All right, everybody!

Back up stairs and into bed!

It would beat the clock!

No, but you were pretty darn close!

Next drill in three hours!

I got bad!

It's World War III!

This is the test!

Are you sure this is okay, Mom?

Well, let him out in the morning!

What you doing, Bart?

Skateboarding, can we come?

No way, man!

Skateboarding's men's work!

And why are you doing it?

Because I am a man, man.

Caul Bumble!

Ah, the breeze, the solitude, the wind whistling through your hair.

Go, man, go!

Huh?

Watch this!

Here goes the daredevil skateboard champion of the universe!

So long, suckers!

Hi, Bart!

Bye, Bart!

Okay, ready?

Get set!

Hey, look over there!

Oh!

Okay, it's a better behavior church today.

I don't see why I have to go anywhere.

I'm a pagan.

Bart!

I don't want to go to church either!

I'm a pagan too!

Well, you're going to church so you can like it or lump it.

If I'm on the stage and dad, the tire is just blue.

Thank you, nature!

What a beautiful paganistic day!

Come on, Maggie, next step!

Perhaps I'd hire a boy!

We paid him for life to help you home, right?

But we can't go anywhere.

We can soil our hands with greasy cools of sin.

They are packing!

Not that nice at all!

It's too like dad.

What the hell are you talking about?

They can rain dance with every tree.

Mom, dad, look!

We're pagans!

Why, though, it's little?

I want to create a mess, bud.

This house of Russia has built into the abstracts already.

Yes, but still, my pagan soul yearns to roam free.

No problem.

Can't you stand and want to make a run fight?

Okay.

Bart!

Bart!

Uh-oh.

Sure.

The tortist.

The closet!

I think that last.

No, it's locked.

I'm trapped in here, trapped like a rat.

Help!

Bart!

Oh, dad will hear me.

Help!

I've got to get out of this closet.

Maggie!

In here!

In the closet!

Maggie!

Let's go get help.

Maggie, come on, man!

Do what I do if I were in your face!

I can't take it anymore.

I've got to get out of this closet.

I give up.

I'll do chores.

Dear Bart.

The family has gone out for frosty chocolate milkshakes.

Sorry, we couldn't find you.

Love.

Stick close by kids and I'll explain everything

you need to know about the briny teeth.

I want to see a giant squid attack a sperm whale and battle to the death.

I want to swim green with the fish.

I'm going to look in red swim zone.

All right, can the chatter listen up.

Here we have the hideous moray heel.

And over here we have the tasty but repulsive sea bass.

Yeah!

What the hell it's all in the water's fine!

Corey, you come out of the tank right now!

Do some tricks, Bart.

Whoa!

Let's not have that.

It only encourages him.

Ah!

Bart should be coming up for air any minute now.

Look, I see something!

Lucky the red swim crunks.

Well, the trunks were lucky even if Bart wasn't.

I'll take those.

Ain't that very much?

Bart, come over here.

I'd like to accommodate you Homer, but I'm afraid it's safer in here.

I'm on everybody!

Time for the family boyfriend!

Let's punch together now!

Here we go!

Move it!

Perfecto!

Everybody smile.

I'm going to set the automatic timer.

Almost ready!

Here we go!

Let's get this show on the road, man!

We got things to do!

Yeah, Dad!

Okay, here we go!

Well, for jumbo!

What do you say?

All right, everybody!

We're using real tight.

We want to get us all in the picture this time.

Closer!

Closer!

Closer!

Okay, hold still.

This is the last picture on the road.

Praise the Lord!

You watch your mouth, you little smart ass.

Yeah, Bart!

Nothing's going to ruin this one.

The timer's are ticking!

Bart's making faces, Dad!

That's one that's going to be the Simpsons at our finest.

Smile!

Look, cheerful!

Here we go!

Here we go!

Here we go!

Why, you little...

Look, Mary's Maggie, a new patient!

Oh, well, I got the pick-ups in my garden.

Bad!

Mary's Maggie, begin preparation of the secret pick-up monster.

No!

Ice cream!

Maple syrup!

Peanut broccoli!

Hot sauce!

No way, man!

I knew it.

Not enough hot sauce.

Climb into the treatment apparatus, please.

Accodentially, Mr. Maggie, this treatment has occasional side effects.

Oh...

Oh... But the side effects are somewhat entertaining.

Are they not?

No...

I'm stumped, Mr. Maggie.

Oh... This is the worst case of pick-ups you've ever treated.

Oh...

Oh... That's it!

A combination of our previous techniques followed by the scared treatment.

It can't miss.

Whoa!

Oh... I pronounced this patient... pureed.

My mom, can we have an advance in our allowances?

No!

Come on, mom, we're dead, bro!

I said no!

But I'm out shopping.

Don't get any funny ideas about fortune cuts from the money jar in the kitchen.

Oh, yeah, the money jar.

Promise me you'll be honest.

I promise.

I know by solemnly, we'll get by big one.

I wonder if this is wrong.

Come on, we've got to get the money.

Say, my mom, are you a funny person?

Maggie!

Go for it, dude.

Get the rule off.

That's right for it.

Feel the bread, man.

What?

That?

It means me, but... I can't even trust your own mother.

This way to the monkey house, everybody.

Can I have a peanut dad?

Shut up and pay attention.

Oh, I asked, it was a measly peanut.

Don't set your father, Bart.

Yeah, Bart.

Now, we're here.

We have the typical monkey family.

Just look at their stupid antics.

Hey, man, I know she's dead with you.

Here monkey monkey monkey monkey.

Woo!

Yeah, don't tease me.

Ah, I'm just funing with him.

Hey, monkeys.

Want some peanuts?

Woo!

I don't like it dad.

She's right home.

Ah, come on.

Where'd you set your humor?

Woo!

Right on, dudes.

That's the last time I ever take you kids to the zoo.

I've had it with those pile monkeys.

What was that?

No!

Well, then where is Bart?

Oh, I love you guys, but really, I'm stuffed.

Thanks anyway.

I couldn't eat another.

I've always wanted to introduce you kids to the world of art.

It's so enriching.

I have an announcement to make.

I'm bored.

Well, maybe we're all bored, Bart.

But we're going to cooperate anyway.

Yeah, Bart's club, brother.

Now, over here, I too am bored.

Bart!

Yeah, I'm a barber.

Well, that's what I call enriching world of art.

Not bad.

Not bad at it.

It's time for a little bit in the fight because this is the art music.

There's right here, little slob.

Now, here, we have some exploration.

Well, that was close.

When did we go to a remote TV?

Bart.

Careful, dad.

It's been priceless.

The last time I take you kids to the art music.

Don't have a cow, dad.

Yeah, dad.

Why are you little?

Now, calm down, homo.

The kids just aren't mature enough.

You have to appreciate fine art.

O'con's rare, mom.

We find the world of art quite enriching.

There's another exact time thinking of becoming a collector.

Just think it's sitting right here at three generations of citizens.

What a nightmare is concept.

Bart, homo.

What?

Leaving me.

Yeah, dad.

Lisa, homo.

What?

Leaving me.

Yeah, homo.

Bart, homo.

And the beat goes on.

What's great in that toy?

Don't shove Maggie.

She's just a little baby.

Don't hit your little sister.

She's a girl.

Keep your hands off of them, homo.

We can't fit her like this for the Simpsons.

You know, the little scaps can't point there.

Let's all get together and give each other a big hug.

Sorry, this isn't half bad.

Now, let's all forgive each other.

Lisa, I forgive you.

Grandpa, I forgive you.

Homo?

I forgive you.

And I forgive you, Bart.

Apology accepted, homo.

I forgive you, too, if you use a breath, man.

Are you right?

What?

I've gotta have those candy bars.

But Bart, we don't have any money.

It was gotta be away.

You better not be thinking of stealing those candy bars.

That's it.

Better not buy.

So long, suckers.

Hey, coffee.

You just sit right there and think about your

crying your dirty little shop after thief.

Yes, too.

As he scared.

I think I got that kid so scared he can't even see straight good.

I'm trying him some more while I call his parents.

What, Bart?

Well, boy, looks like the chiggers.

I know my rights.

You can't hold me.

They ain't got no evidence, copper.

Uh, is it too late to make a full confession?

Your father and I are very disappointed in you, Bart.

Gee, I hadn't known as Bart.

What have you learned from this experience, Bart?

Well, mom, I might've been caught and had a few bad moments

there, but I gotta admit, chocolate was still there.

No, no, no, Bart, the lesson is.

Ultimately, crime hurts the criminal.

That's not true, mom.

I got a free ride home, didn't I?

I've had it up to here with those kids.

Calm down to here.

They're driving me out of my mind.

That's why I bought this book on temperatures of what?

I'll hypnotize them.

Maybe then we can get some peace and quiet around here.

I don't know.

I've heard the kids get kind of ambunctious sometimes, but I think that's true.

A little ambunctious, they're bouncing off the wall.

I'll hold them.

You hypnotize them.

Look children, we have a treat for you.

You're going to get hypnotized.

Now, look at the watch.

You're getting sleepy.

Sleepy.

Sleepy.

Very sleepy.

From now on, you will be good little children.

It's working.

They're not brats anymore.

Oh!

Oh!

They're zombies!

Oh boy, that was a Disney.

Are you kids okay?

Oh man, where am I?

I'll never try to modify your behavior again.

Okay, I'm better after normal.

I'm better.

I'm better.

I'm better.

Who's that watchin' kid?

No!

Now, play friendly children, but we don't want to play friendly.

Barf.

We want to play rough.

Where's that?

Act like a lady.

Yes.

What a grudge.

Come on, bud.

You can punch better than that.

Let me try.

But you're a nerd girl.

And you're a sexist pig, give me the gloves.

You're probably making a motherfaded.

You hear that.

What the heck?

Stop punching back.

They're just playing, huh?

I can't sleep with that bracket.

Go tell them to knock it off.

I like the punching bag sound.

You go tell them if you don't like it.

I said do it.

Now, move it.

Are you little?

Sorry, dad.

Sorry, dad.

Sorry, Homer.

Sorry, Homer.

Get out of the way, part.

Fight.

Step aside, boy.

Fight.

Art.

Let go, Lisa.

Go!

Get out there and get in the shrimp.

Boy.

Yeah, bud.

Art.

Right.

Oh, good.

Hey, this ain't bad.

Right there.

Be just wet.

I can dig it.

Next stop.

Have some room, Mr. Chubo.

I'm here for my daily candy bar, fed me.

Hey, I think I'm having chocolate covered.

Of course, kid, no shrimp.

Hey, you're not Mr. Chubo.

I said shrimp.

Wait a minute.

I can be in the right to be served.

Congratulations, boy.

You just earned yourself a big reward.

Oh, and when it was an easily candy bar.

Here we have Bart Simpson, the young lad who

captured the notorious candy store bandit.

How does it feel to be a hero, Bart?

Pretty damn good, Phil.

Your family must be proud of you right now.

I bet there's jumping up and down.

Boooo!

Boooo!

And the $10,000 reward.

$10,000 big one!

I love you, son!

What are you going to do with all that money?

I don't want the money.

That's why that's where the reward could be paid in candy bars.

What were your family things?

Boooo!

Bart!

Yeah!

Get your hand out of that cookie jar!

Oh, man.

That jar's off limit, Bart.

And if I catch you with so much as one cookie...

Whoa, I'm scared.

Why, off those cookies?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah!

What's under that bowl, Bart?

Nothing.

Left up the bowl, boy.

That one.

That one.

Hey, look over there.

What?

Oh, nothing.

Middle one, middle one.

Huh?

Oh, well.

I guess she's innocent.

Huh?

Uh, that one.

Uh, that one.

Then that one.

Hey.

Where's the cookie?

Well, here we are.

Where, we need more?

Yeah.

I'll have a couple of jumbo corn dogs, please.

No, you little fools.

We're at another scenic viewpoint.

Uh.

Everybody out of the car.

Ah!

Give me that.

Great.

Now, never know what happened.

Oh, children.

This canyon is famous for its echo.

Well, what do you know?

Let's take turns yelling into the canyon.

You start.

Okay.

No!

Lisa!

Cool, man.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Are you little?

I'm gonna kill you!

Don't have a child!

Oh, man.

That is our remarkable echo.

Whatever you say, Mom.

We're going to love you!

We were going to love you!

Look, blow up.

I'm glad we're seeing the happy little elves return.

Aren't you part?

Oh, man.

They're so normal.

Who's your favorite happy little elf part?

And our bubbles are different.

I can't stand those stupid elves.

Cheap bark.

You're just like gloomy, the self-hating elf.

Will you shut up about those damn elves?

He looks like gloomy too.

Ah!

Oh, boy!

Oh, no, Bart!

Yeah, man!

Space mutants!

Come on, Bart!

That's way too scary!

Three child's for space mutants, sir.

Someday you'll thank me for this.

Now, listen up.

Will there be some pretty hairy stuff in this movie?

That way is flying saucers, giant eyeballs.

Oh, but don't be the same.

Just go with your fear.

If need be, I'll hold your hand.

What's that hell are you kids watching?

It's itchy and scratchy.

Our favorite show.

Well, you're not watching it.

Oh, Dad!

Come on, Homer!

Nope, it's too violent.

Go do something else.

Now I'm really bored.

I know.

Come on, it's the Bart Simpson show, starring Bart Simpson, featuring the Bart

Simpson Orchestra and the Bart Simpson dancers.

And now, here's the star of our show, Bart Simpson!

Thanks, Dad.

Funny thing happened on the way to the studio tonight.

I ran over my dad's head on my bike.

I thought I told you kids not to watch violin TV.

It's stupid, but it's not violent.

Oh, yeah.

Bart?

Why are you?

Well, got a run, can I, folks?

Oh boy, after all these years of watching, crusty the clown

on TV, you finally get to meet crusty the clown in person!

You know, I'd base my whole life on crusty's teachings.

Wow!

The clown, I swear out of TV.

No, you've got any kidding.

How can they expect a genius like crusty to work in a dump like this?

Boy, the girl?

Come on, boy, the crusty the clown show!

Has to share that to different in person.

No way is that crusty.

Crusty's a real clown.

That's just somewhat be old dude in the clown suit.

And chunky the plane.

But first, let's pay a visit to some of them.

crusty's loyal kitty cadets.

And what's your name, little girl?

And what's your name, little boy?

I'm Bart Simpson.

Who the hell are you?

Well, I'm your old pal crusty.

Oh, yeah.

Then what's crusty secret model?

Oh, instead of feeling sad and blue, deeper crusty smile on you.

Listen pal, I don't know how you found out crusty

secret model, but you're still an imposter.

You've been down to you, little boy.

Don't.

It was the night before Christmas and all of the home.

Now the creature was stirring.

Except for me in this poem.

My sisters were nestled, all snug in their beds.

Well, these are the fanny bars, danced in their heads.

Then I sprang like a spring, and snuck like a snake.

Down with stairs to the gifts for just a quick peep.

When low and behold, what did I see?

These are mad they have just beaten me.

And my package and said, this is ratt man.

The nudist dad shadow.

He looked like a mad man.

Oh, Maggie.

Olisa, a little boy.

Tall of me.

Go upstairs.

Go right now before I kill all of you.

And so into bed, we fled in a flash awaiting to morning to open our stash.

And last day, breakin' and we scampered so chilly,

my mom and dad gone and he gave that his will.

For Maggie, a pacifier, for Lisa some goes.

For me, a big burped up.

I'm going to shoot the pin-pong balls.

Then on to the TV and we started to doze

through all the exciting Christmas theme shows.

So, to those of you grooving on my holiday wrap,

happy Christmas to all and to all a good map.

Get in there!

And clean up that mess!

Do we have to?

Yup.

Why?

Because we're the parents and you're the children.

Oh, no.

This will take forever.

I've got a plan.

You guys clean up and I'll tell you a story.

Oh, brother.

Once upon a time, there was a planet where the children

were the parents and the parents were the children.

Get in there!

And clean up that mess!

Do we have to?

Yup.

Why?

Because we're the children and you're the parents.

Oh, no.

This will take forever.

I've got a plan.

You'll clean up and I'll tell you a story.

Forget it.

And then part!

If you won't help your sisters, then get out there and move along.

How does Bart's story end?

Well, everyone with happily ever after.

Bart, Lisa, keep an eye on Maggie.

And he and Mom went off shopping for a week here.

The sun was shining.

The birds were tweeting real relaxing.

Nothing going on.

Totally mellow man.

Just sitting there reading comments like that.

The festival all possible worlds.

Everything was growing and peaceful man.

And now, on with our story.

And now, on with our story.

And now, on with our story.

And now, on with our story.

And now, on with our story.

And now, on with our story.

And now, on with our story.

Bart!

Bart!

I'm here Sunday night, bad boy!

Bart!

Bart!

Where are you, boy?

Oops.

That's not so bad, is it?

It's probably good, no?

Welcome to the exotic world of undersea explorer, Bart seems so.

good boy.

Come with Bart as he dies into the bliny deep.

Searching for the bliny and evusive wash floor.

Sing me.

We stop warning.

We break for it.

Take more.

Singing for it.

Clear as

a whistle and rumour.

All right, we'll swipe the rest of them.

Don't look it off, Dad!

Why'd I eat all those cookies?

Play off those cookies, boy!

That jar is off, limit speed.

Bart!

And if I got you, it was so much as one cookie.

Bart!

Dad!

Bart!

No!

No!

No!

Why are you little?

I didn't do it.

I didn't do it.

I didn't do it.

I didn't do it.

I didn't do it.

I didn't do it.

I didn't do it.

Wait, come on, stop out of it, boy.

You are only having a nightmare, Bart.

Yeah, boy.

Everything's gonna be okay.

That was all a dream.

Here, Bart.

Have a cookie.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

God off!

If you got to act like savages, do it outside.

Come on, man.

Oh, that's your arms.

Oh, boy!

Jungle supplies!

Jungle hoe!

I'm a number one, but hoe!

This fun, Bartzanga.

Right on, we're number one.

What the... Why those little... Bart!

Oh, I'm a number one, but... Bartz!

Oh, but... Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Wait, it's Bwana.

We come in peace.

Bartz, get me down from here.

But then you'll kill us.

Hmm... Family therapy.

What the hell is this?

You said we were going out for frosty chocolate milkshakes.

Well, I lied.

Uh, Simpsons?

Welcome.

So what brings you to family therapy?

Well, dark, it's like this.

They're all kind of crazy, I don't know what to do.

No, Marissa wasn't awful.

Lisa!

Oh boy, Mince.

Go ahead, take one.

We never laugh anymore, Doc.

You can say that again.

When Homer's right, he's right.

For once, the old man's corrected Ronan.

Get up!

I'm sensing some deep-seated hostility here.

Why do we all take a deep cleansing breath?

Don't you think you had enough of Mince, son?

I don't even tell that Bo's empty.

Put those Mince back, boy.

Mm-gah.

Lord, you little slob, you ruined the whole boy!

Don't talk to my brother like that, you big old?

Oh, are you little borderline psychotic?

Hot talks to my daughter like that.

Oh, yeah?

Now you're going to bully me like you bully your kids?

We don't like you, sir.

Hmm... Leave this office, please.

Hahaha!

C're you man?

What do you like, which is a very difficult crisis?

Not anymore, you are.

A big tummy son!

A tummy son?

Nope!

I don't hate it.

What were we supposed to do?

Why don't you go fly?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

What's up?

Uh-oh!

Sorry, Homer.

Get in there and tell me what a TV is fixed.

How is it now?

Still no picture dad!

Still future dad!

Oh, second one!

Oh, second one!

Perfecto, Homer!

Hahahahahahahaha!

Perfecto!