Original subtitles

So funny.

Oh, please, God. Where's the babysitter?

Okay.

Come back in a half hour.

When the porch light's off, it'll mean the kid's asleep.

Come on, babe.

How about a little, uh, something -something on meals?

Fuck off. If I gotta wait, you can wait till later.

Maybe I could.

Or maybe you want to wait on the porch light.

I'll head over to Janine Denning's house.

So she can what? Sit on your face?

Not my face.

I swear to God, if you cheat on me, I will fucking kill you.

I mean it.

Are you Wendy?

I'm Alex.

Tyler's upstairs. Her bedtime's nine. My number's on the fridge.

Oh, and no matter what she says, do not let her eat popcorn.

Okay. Thank you.

Don't let her watch the news!

Here.

The search for missing Kensington Park boy widens to DeSoto Lake.

Here now is his family with a death per plea.

Please. I'll give you anything. Just don't hurt him.

My mom said that boy ran away.

Oh, yeah? Well, your mom doesn't know what she's talking about.

The kid didn't run away.

The monster got him.

What monster?

Kilroy. What's a Kilroy?

Holy shit, kid.

Don't say his name.

Don't ever say his name.

Why not?

He has, like, this psychic bond with kids.

Psychic bond?

Yeah. So if you say his name, he's gonna think you're calling him.

And you don't want Kilroy coming.

Hey, you just said his name.

Yeah, but he doesn't care about me.

I'm too old for him.

He likes little kids.

Well, I'm okay.

Yeah. Little kids are definitely his thing.

Where'd he come from?

He grew up around here. You know the street behind the Winn -Dixie?

That's where he used to live.

Back then his name was Roy Huggins.

He was a little kid just like you.

Except by the time he was your age, he already had a taste for blood.

Blood?

Go on up to the hen house now, boy.

Kill off some of them reds.

Okay.

So let me get this straight.

If his name is Roy, why did he call him a killer? Don't say it.

Bad name.

Well, he got his name in the army.

During World War II, when the Americans went over and stopped the Nazis,

somebody started drawing the stupid doodle of a bald guy sticking his nose

a wall. And the people in Europe started drawing the same guy till it was all

over the world. Like the first meme.

So he was a soldier in World War II?

No, man, not that war.

What war?

They sent Roy Huggins to Vietnam.

What's wrong?

Why don't you go up to that village now, boy?

Kill some reds.

One night, the VC captured Roy.

His platoon found him ten hours later completely unharmed, but the soldiers

found him couldn't believe what they saw.

Holy shit.

He killed everybody for ten miles in every direction, and while he waited to

found, he'd eaten an entire VC soldier all by himself.

And that would have been that, except one day, a fire broke out.

They just left him to burn for his death.

Oh my God, did he die?

Well, he definitely should have.

That son of a bitch was so evil, he just kept on living.

The flames burned away the last bits of his humanity, if he ever had any.

Roy Huggins was gone.

All that was left was kill.

Did he ever come back to Sarasota?

You know why your mom got this house for so cheap? Housing market collapse?

It's because Kilroy murdered someone right down the block.

Oh, my God, he did?

Yeah.

Do you want to know what happened?

It's a pretty scary story.

Kinda.

Oh, my heavens.

The dear Lord has taken so much from me. My husband, Ed, has been gone these

past six years.

And if that wasn't enough, the moment he was gone, the disease afflicted my

little Sonny.

What exactly does Sonny have?

It's called pediatric arrhythmia.

Poor thing. Her little heart just can't pump enough oxygen to do the job. So all

she can do is just sit there and wait for her name to come up on the heart

transplant list.

That sounds so hard.

It is hard for me.

It's a full -time job just taking care of my little girl now.

Isn't that right, sonny bunny full of honey?

Thanks to the generosity of our neighbors and our church, we

have been able to make it this far.

But it's going to take a lot more money.

to get us to Minneapolis for that heart transplant.

Which is why we're having the fundraiser tonight.

Okay, tell us about this. It's at the Church of the Incarnate Word?

Yes, at the church. So many good people have donated their money and their time,

but if just some of your viewers could afford to give, well,

we just might finally have a sunny day around here.

Tickets for tonight's fundraiser are on sale at the Church of the Incarnate

Word. Or take a moment to donate online at the WFBK website. You will literally

be blessing a little girl's heart. For WFBK News at Noon, I'm Misty Gallagher.

I think this new antibiotic's making me nauseous.

Well, perk up, princess. We got a big party tonight.

I don't want to do another church fundraiser.

I want to do normal things that kids my age do.

You're laying on a couch complaining.

That's what all kids your age do.

Besides, you can't risk infection.

So how's taking me to a church going to keep me from getting an infection?

First off, it's a church.

Ain't no germs in any part of God's house.

Plus, you'll be wearing your mask.

Well, I don't want to go.

Well, you have to go.

This is all for you.

Those people, they're just trying to help us.

I do everything for you, and I could use a little help.

So if you can't find it in that diseased little heart of yours to give me even

the tiniest little bit of thanks, well, maybe everyone's right. Maybe I do do

too much.

Do you even know how hard I work just to keep you alive?

You're just busy sleeping all day, but I'm out there. I've got to get the pill.

I gotta get the money, and I gotta keep this whole thing going.

You just have to lay there.

Well, maybe I should just die and let you off the hook.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

You're all I got.

If anything ever happened to you, my whole life would fall apart.

Tell you what I'll do.

I'll make up.

Some of my special sweet tea for my baby.

Mama, no, I hate the tea. No, you don't. You love it.

And it's going to feel yum -yum in your tum -tum.

Monk's hood, also known as wolf's bane, is a flowering plant that produces

aconite, a nearly undetectable poison.

In small doses, it produces arrhythmic heart function, which in larger doses

leads to suffocation and death.

Honey, these nice people want to pay their respects to you.

You must be pleased to punch at this turnout. I just know we're going to get

Sonny that heart transplant.

Bless her. We have just practically lived on your turkey tetrazzini,

How's my favorite patient's mama doing, huh?

Are you holding up another strain cord, Delia?

It's good to see you.

Oh, how are you, son?

Good. Gosh, Cordelia, you've been through so much. Oh, I know. I have been

through so much.

Anybody will tell you that.

You're a trooper.

A real trooper, honey.

Oh, Amy, you too.

I'll do my best.

Cordelia, good to see you, love.

I'm going to pray for you right now.

Brothers and sisters, I have an announcement to make. I just got off the

with the TV station and the online donations from today's network broadcast

put us over the top.

This is a miracle.

A miracle for one person.

Cordelia. Let's hear it for Cordelia.

Oh, my goodness. I just don't know what to say.

But if I did, the first thing I would do is to thank you all.

Thank you for your kindness, your generosity, and your support.

Without you, I never could have done it. any of this.

Mom.

Honey. Sit right back down this minute before you wear yourself out.

I'd like to say something.

Of course, honey.

Go right ahead.

Speak.

You know what I've been thinking about all day?

I've been thinking about the day my daddy died.

It was a Sunday, and Mama and Daddy were fighting.

They'd gone to play bridge at the Devons that night, and to my understanding,

they were not going to get asked back because Daddy had a little too much to

drink to get me hit on Mrs. Devon.

Daddy!

So later that night, when Daddy had finally woken up, Mama decided to make

her special tea.

The one with the secret ingredient.

Right, Mama?

Ain't that what you used the night Daddy died?

Poor Daddy knew it. The ambulance man was pulling a sheet over his face, and

just couldn't stop saying how unusual it all was.

He had no history of any heart problems.

In his heart, it killed him.

But then we were alone.

We were so alone.

We had to beg for money just to stay alive.

Until one day, I got sick at school.

And I never went back.

And I heard Dr. Garrett tell my mama how very unusual it was that I would have

the same heart disease that killed my daddy.

Well, then I was alone.

Not my mama.

All of you people gathered to her side.

You felt so sorry for her.

Poor Cordelia.

First her husband dies, now she's got that sick daughter.

Well, that's just sadder than them kids of here that got ate up by old Kilroy.

Sunny, you need to sit down.

You're not making any sense.

None of this makes sense.

My daddy isn't me.

It's like all of y 'all people know something that I didn't know.

Until today.

And as soon as I figured it all out, it nearly killed me.

It nearly killed me deader than Kilroy.

The Internet will tell you lots of things.

It can tell you anything you want to know.

For example, how much wolfsbane it takes to poison a person.

The Internet also told me we got our own boogeyman here in South Florida.

The Internet told me...

Once you pledge your life to him, your life is his.

So if someone else takes that life, I mean, you can't cheat the devil.

For the last six years, my mom has been taking my life, sip by fucking sip,

every day.

And whether you know it or not, all of you helped her do it.

What?

And so, With my mama's special sweet tea.

Now with Wolfsbane.

I would like to raise a toast.

Raise your fucking glass, Loretta.

To Kilroy!

To Kilroy!

in my fort. You really think that little ass fucking fort is going to protect

you? You think this fort is low?

Nothing will stop Kilroy from getting you.

You can't hide anywhere.

Not in your house, not in your car, not even at school.

Where do you go to school?

Millbank? Yeah.

Well, that's Kilroy's favorite school.

A couple years ago, there was a teacher that kept a few students after school

for play rehearsal.

She didn't know about Kilroy either, but she sure learned a lot about him that

night.

Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa! Why are you screaming?

I was screaming because Montana screamed.

Hey, I didn't scream.

Only girls scream.

Boys yell. That is... sexist Montana and not what I asked you. Did you yell or

not? Only because Kathy was calling Kilroy.

No, I wasn't. Ah, what's that?

Nothing. You can show me now or you can show me in detention.

And boy can too scream. You sure did.

I yelled.

You were screaming.

I was only yelling. Ah!

This is screaming.

Ugh, Cassie, where did you find this hideous thing?

In the costume box.

Ugh, well, back to the costume box he goes.

Quick, march, like a penguin.

We still have two more songs to practice before pickup.

What's the matter?

What if he heard me?

Who? I don't want to say his name again.

Kilroy? Don't say that. If you say his name three times, he comes.

Sounds like a guy I knew in college.

Okay, well, listen.

Saying someone's name three times and they appear, that's just from a movie.

Like Beetlejuice.

That was a movie, Miss Bowers. This is real life.

Oh, IRL. Got it, got it. But he's not real, okay? My dad says he's real.

My dad says no one cares what your dad thinks because he's a Republican.

This is Florida, so everybody's Republican.

I'm not. Neither am I. And I don't believe in Kilroy either.

Ms. Bowers, you've got to stop saying his name.

Please. Just please.

It's not your fault. You're not from South Florida.

No, you're right. I am not from South Florida. I grew up in South Boston in

90s, thank you.

And our monsters were Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

Oh, what are Marky Mark's powers?

Like, can he all of a sudden appear in your bedroom at night?

I wish.

Whatever happened to the Funky Bunch?

Okay, we're not going to be talking about Marky Mark or the Funky Bunch. Got

We're here to talk about your monster. And he is not real.

Like Santa.

Santa's real. My dad says so.

Your dad's a dirty Republican liar.

Cassie!

Santa's real. Right, Ms. Bowers? Of course Santa is real. And this kill,

guy that you're so terrified of, that's just someone your parents make up to

scare you into being good. That's all.

But you guys don't need that. You know why? Because you're a really good kid.

That's not what the principal says.

Yes, she says we're the bad kids. Oh, really?

How bad?

I got detention for one day for wearing a shirt my brother gave me that said

free mustache ride.

At least you never got suspended.

You've been suspended?

The school used to have hamsters.

Okay, well, I'm sure there's nothing either of you can do that is so bad that

your parents would want you eaten by a monster.

They're just making that up to scare you into being good.

Really? Mm -hmm. My parents used to do it to me all the time.

They would say, be good, or we'll give you to the Catholic Church.

I'd rather be eaten.

Me too.

Maybe by that Marky Mark monster.

All right, enough with the spooky talk. Can we get back to singing, please?

Hey, maybe singing happy songs will keep Kilroy away.

Oh, my gosh.

Instead of saying three...

No, Kathy's gone.

What did you do, Miss Bowers? Where did Kathy go?

Kathy?

Kathy?

Scared the shit out of me. Scared the shit out of you? Scared the shit out of

me? Jesus, Ms. Powers.

I mean, you almost gave me a heart attack.

Oh, God. I'm a middle -aged man who eats like shit and huffs floor cleaner all

day. I was just looking for Cassiopeia Anderson.

Did you see her on the way back from the boiler room?

No, no.

Maybe she got picked up already.

No. She still has ten more minutes till pick -up. She's probably up to some

mischief. She has that hippie dad.

I don't know about a hippie dad, but...

She's a really good girl. She was just scaring Montana Nelson with an old

mask. Parents here, they don't know how to raise their kids, so they spook them

with this monster just to scare their kids into being good. But let me ask you

this. Are they any good?

They're kids.

Kids are kids.

No, not in this town. They grow up way too fast. You've got to see the stuff I

have to scrape off the walls in the little boys' and little girls' rooms.

Chet, that is sexist.

I don't find anything sexy about little kids, ma 'am.

Of course you don't. All right, how about this? You go look for that Montana

kid, and I'll go look for Cassie.

Perfect. Perfect. Thank you, Chet.

You rule.

No problem. You rule.

Blind the eyes that cannot see.

Make deaf the ears that cannot hear.

Close the mouth that cannot tell and send the monster back to hell.

Blind the eyes that cannot see. Make deaf the ears that cannot hear.

Close the mouth that cannot tell and send the monster back to hell. Guys,

enough!

Stop.

What was that?

Nothing. Nothing? Nothing.

Okay, well, can we stop it with the creepy chanting and get back to the

that you don't know by heart?

Yeah? I'm going to go tell Chet that I found you. Please stay here and

And enough with the whatever that is. Okay?

Blind the eyes that cannot see.

Chet?

Chet?

Come on guys!

Cassie! Montana!

Cassie!

Cassie?

Montana!

Montana?

Don't you touch her, you baby -eating son of a bitch!

Bah! We got you, Miss Bauer! Did you see her face? What the

fuck?

Ooh, Miss Bauer said a bad word.

Ooh! Boom!

You were helping them, too?

Always bet on the chat.

The chat.

The chat.

Chat! Chat!

They're handing out detention tomorrow.

Let me tell you something. Kids are flat -out evil. Ask any janitor. They almost

had me believing their Kilroy was loose in the school.

Those teeny, tiny jerks.

You know, for years, the school would lose a kid every semester when he'd come

out of the swamp for a feeding.

But these kids, they were the first to come up with the idea to make a deal

Kilroy. A bargain.

Blood for blood.

See, now what the kids realized was that they could get a grown -up to say his

name three times, and then the monster can have that adult, any adult will do,

like a teacher.

Better get the mop.

Better her than us. No shit.

I have a question.

If you know who...

kills everybody that's ever seen him.

How do you even know these stories?

Well, smart guy, sometimes Kilroy isn't very careful.

He may not know it, but sometimes he's seen.

No, I was talking about Father.

Every month he's sweet enough to take some boys on a camping retreat. He's

sweet enough to be on time for pickup.

How sweet the sound.

Sorry I am late, sister.

Never a problem, Father.

Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but I don't think timeliness is on his

list.

And who do we have here?

This is Alicio and Ernesto. They're from Cuba.

Alicio and Ernesto.

Mucho gusto.

Do any camping in Cuba?

They don't speak English.

They never do, huh?

Hola, amigos.

Me llamo Father Pat.

I'm going to take you... How do I say this one?

Nosotros el camping.

Alrighty. No English at all, huh? Not even the basics.

Police found them sleeping with their parents under an overpass off 41.

Parents are in custody, and the kids are here until they're sent back.

Poor little guys, getting such a tiny taste of America.

Well, this weekend, I'm going to show them how great this country can really

I'm going to give them a story to tell back in Cuba. Right, boys?

All righty, grab that stuff. Come on.

Vamanos.

Our Father, who art in heaven, I like him from the age of seven.

You boys comfy?

Rock of ages, pray for me, cause I ain't got none

in ages.

Rock of ages.

Rock my cock.

Muy bien

muchachos. Time to go camping.

I got some friends of mine I want you to meet.

You boys are going to have a good time.

Guaranteed.

You fellas going fishing?

Oh, these boys don't speak English.

No, they never do, do they?

2775. All righty.

You know, Father, people around here, they've been saying a lot of stuff about

you and your monthly gatherings with all the Latino boys.

Well, it's maybe Florida, but still south.

There's a lot of racism down here.

Luckily, God doesn't care what your immigration status is, because God is

Some people say God has nothing to do with your gatherings.

My experience has been most people don't know what they're talking about half

the time.

Well, I do.

Because when I first got to this country a few years back, some priest took me

camping.

You have a good day now, Juan.

Vamanos.

Kill Roy.

Decide three times.

Help the children.

Come on, boys. We're here.

Come on, boys. Let's go.

Let's go. Come on.

Go ahead in.

See you at the day.

You'll see it on the big boy couch.

Hey, how you doing, boys?

Father. Father.

Father. Father.

Father. Father.

What do you guys got going on?

You gonna come smoke?

Got this shit in Miami!

You wanna come with?

Um, well, I brought some Cubans that I might smoke.

Got a party in here?

Look at that, look at that. You lucky motherfucker.

No, I'm blessed.

Yes, you are.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, you two take a bath.

Kill Roy.

Kill Roy.

Kill Roy.

You boys start camping without me?

That's a sin.

You all take a bath like I asked?

Because I brought along some special jammies for you all to wear

tonight.

So come on now.

Let's get undressed.

Are you boys worried somebody's going to see what happens in here tonight?

Because nobody's going to see what happens in here tonight.

Except God.

God is all powerful, isn't he?

God could stop this if he wanted to, couldn't he?

But he doesn't.

He never does.

So I think God wants me to do what I do.

I think God wants all the Holy Rollers to do what we do here.

Because every single month for the past five years, we have given the Lord a

chance to save his little lambs.

And every single month for the past five years, we're

feasting on lamb chops.

Every single month we take you little Latin boys camping just before they

deport you back to your shithole countries.

And you give us a little relief and we give

you something to remember your American experience by.

And which one of these pup tents are my little pups inside?

Eeny, meeny, hiney, ho.

Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.

Salutators, fellow gator haters.

I am the Gator Chaser. And I am looking pretty tonight.

Woo! I know it's been a week since the last live stream. And remember those

gators last week? Oh, those filthy gators. They would have come up behind

They would have bit you on the behind.

But the Gator Chaser was here for you. Because that's what I do.

I am keeping southern Florida safe. The gators, they just want to get you in

their mouths. It's disgusting.

And that's why I'm out here in the dead of night beating the bushes to find the

gators so that you and your family can sleep well at night.

And look at this. You can tell we're in the heart of gator territory with all

these posters on the wall. Look at this.

I'll tell you what. Elmer's Blue ain't holding up them posters. It's

You know what's disgusting?

Look at this.

Look at this.

Missing little girl.

You know why she's missing?

I bet you a gator got her.

It's disgusting.

But you know what? I am going to get that little girl some revenge.

I'm going to get some justice for her because about an hour ago, I swiped

on a gator and arranged for a little meeting right here. And on top of that,

told that gator I was barely legal.

So you know he's double -timing his slimy ass here right now.

Chaser does. I'm going to flush out the gator, get him out of South Florida so

that you and your children can sleep well at night.

I'm going to show you how a real hero gets rid of the bad guys.

You Alan?

Yeah.

Justin? Oh yeah, you know I am.

You want to take me on a ride, Alan?

Huh?

You weren't nervous out here by yourself?

No, I've been nervous.

No, I'm picked up by all kinds of weird guys, so... I know how to handle a

psycho, but besides, you're not a psycho.

You're fucking hot, man.

No, I'm not.

Oh, yes, you are.

You're so fucking hot that I didn't care how late it was.

As soon as I saw your picture, I knew I had to have a take of you.

I've never done anything like this before.

Oh, come on. For the first time.

Really? Yeah. A sexy fucking thing like you?

You never fucked around with a guy before?

Wow.

First time, huh?

Yeah. Well, you know, Alan, life rarely gives you a second chance.

But you got one right now.

So take it, man.

Take advantage of it.

It's your chance, Alan.

It's okay.

Come on.

Gator!

We got ourselves a gator right here. Gator, gator, gator, gator, gator. You

fucking slime of gator.

Put that hand down. No, no, no, no, no, no. I want to show everyone what a

sexual predator looks like. Look, everybody.

sees your face. Everyone knows who you are. You're a dirty gator.

Yo, your wife's gonna see this.

Your boss is gonna see this. You deplorable piece of gator shit.

Your life is ruined.

Your life is over.

See you later, you fucking gator. Yes, you see that? The gator chaser did it

again. I tracked him down. I flushed him out. Now the whole world knows exactly

what he is. A fucking piece of shit gator. A piece of shit gator. And you

see what I did for you?

He said, that gator's jaws were like an inch from my cock.

It could have bit my cock off. I did that for all of you to keep all of you

safe. Now, 500 of you saw him, saw his face.

Somebody must know who he is. Go tell his wife. Go tell his boss.

Ruin his fucking life. Let's teach him a lesson for being a cock -sucking gator.

And in the meantime, while you're doing that, let's read some of your comments.

All right.

Maga2020 says, you took that gator out into the light. You're right. I showed

the world what that filthy is.

fucking gator really is.

All right, Serpico52 says, oh, you did the Lord's work tonight. Oh, really?

I didn't do shit. I didn't do it for the Lord. I did it as a public service for

all of you watching me right now. Okay, let's see.

SamwiseGonja says, how does it feel to know that the gator you chased last

killed himself because the video you shot ruined his life?

How does that make you feel, you human piece of shit?

Makes me feel good.

Who gives a shit? It's not my responsibility what happens to the gator

gator chaser shows the world what he is. That's not me. That's not on me. If

that gator can't handle the fact that he sucks cock behind his wife's back, then

that's not on me. That's on him. So if something happens to a gator, Because of

what I did, the public service I do for all of you, if that gator goes and kills

himself, well, whoop -dee -doo, I don't fucking care.

Shit.

The girl from the poster.

Hey. Hey, little girl.

You all right?

It's like some crazy shit from... ring.

Weird little girl right in the middle of the creepy forest.

What the hell?

What the fuck are you doing? What the

fuck

are you doing, bitch?

What is that smell?

That's the chicken water.

That's the water they throw the plug birds into at the chicken farm.

I'm taking

you

gator chasing.

Isn't that what you love to do, Mr. Gator Chaser?

That's what he said when you put a camera in his face and called him a

cocksucker.

Put a camera in his fucking face? What are you fucking talking about?

My husband was a sweet, sweet man.

The preacher's son.

Okay, I understand. Listen, lady.

I did not mean for your husband.

Kill himself?

Because that's what he did when your stupid fucking video went viral.

The man never did a bad thing in his life.

He was a good husband.

A wonderful father.

But he had urges.

So I told him to try it.

He was just curious.

I downloaded an app and made a date with a guy that I thought looked nice.

And kind.

A guy that I hoped would give my husband

something that I couldn't.

But that guy, he turned out to be a piece of shit.

He humiliated my husband in front of his community and his family.

His job fired him.

I told him we could get through it.

We could even, we could even move away.

Last week, the cutest man I have ever known

hung himself in our bathroom.

It was too late.

He was already dead.

And you killed him.

No, no, no, no, no.

You got it all wrong, lady.

You got it all wrong. I didn't kill nobody.

I'm not a lady.

No, it's a knight.

It's a knight.

I'm the gator chaser.

Looks like I got one.

You fucking bitch.

I ain't no fucking gator.

Oh, no.

You ain't the gator.

That's the gator.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hey, hey, help!

Help me!

Help me! Hey, call the cops! Drop the string! Help me! Call the cops! Help me!

Help! You talking to the people on the live stream?

Help! Help!

Because every one of them have been hurt by the Gator Chaser.

From the scared men you exposed, the families you destroyed, to the people

have been left behind, the victims that killed themselves.

Like my David?

Listen, I don't, I don't, what you thought happened was, please, please

don't do this to me, I'm begging you, please!

I'm begging you, please. It's already been done.

You smell like 50 dead chickens.

And those real gators, they love chickens.

But just in case.

Oh no!

Rest in peace.

The little ass fort can't keep you safe from Kilroy. You gotta kill Kilroy to

stop him.

So there's only one thing that will do that.

I told you I'd fucking kill you.

You piece of shit.

Oh my god.