Original subtitles

Come play with us.

I don't know if it's my heart or my dick.

Oh my god.

I need cherry pie.

What's up, Dickerson? Don't mind me.

Struggle is real.

Wow.

You look good.

Hey, handsome.

Are you talking to me?

Of course.

Is there anyone else here?

No.

But you're a pie.

And I'm a delicious one.

Why don't you have a little taste?

Come on, taste it.

Yeah, I do.

Oh, wow.

That's right.

You don't feel like a pie.

Mmm, you taste like pussy.

What are you waiting for?

Yeah, what am I waiting for? Give me a little bit of that nut.

Yes.

It looks like you're fucking my pie.

Mom, I did not.

What are you doing then? It fell off the side here and I caught it. I was

walking by.

Okay,

well, let's put it back in the fridge, please. It's for Thanksgiving dinner.

Okay.

You know, sweetie, what is going on with this? Like, that November thing that

you're doing, it's just not healthy.

It's just, like, it's really not something you should be doing.

I think I know what will help you with this No Nut November nonsense.

Why don't you go sour and clean up your dick?

Okay. Yeah.

I

told

you it's the best way to take your mind off that No Nut.

You know, I used to have really perverted thoughts, too, when I was your

But I started cleaning, doing chores, cooking, and it just kind of fixes all

that. You just get really into it. You don't even notice anything that's

happening around you.

Yeah.

Of course.

Of course.

But, yeah, she is a vegetarian, right? Yeah.

That's neat.

So that means she's not going to eat any of the turkey, right? She's not going

to eat any of the turkey. stuffing.

She's just going to eat fruit.

Oh,

she's bringing stuff.

We didn't talk about that.

I always put that on.

I know, but she's like kind of special, right? I mean, if you think about it,

she doesn't really eat what we eat.

She's pretty great, though.

I guess so. I just think that it's a little, you know.

A little strange to not eat turkey on Thanksgiving, that's all.

I was eating my pizza.

She was looking at me, looking at her, looking at me. And she walked over and

then just started talking to me about, like, you know, what all I'm eating, you

know, within my pizza. And then she was just telling me how, like, you know,

maybe being a vegan is the way to go. Like, she has her V -card.

Dickerson, does your girlfriend eat normal?

Yep.

What else are you going to cook for her?

Well, I have to make a veggie turkey thing.

I don't know. It's like a roast, but vegetarian.

In fact, I need to call your father. Give me the phone. Come on.

from the grocery store and some gravy.

Maybe even some potatoes.

Do you want some potatoes?

I would love some potatoes.

Sure, yes.

I would love potatoes.

Hi, sweetie.

Yeah, I'm just here with the boys now. I was starting cooking.

I have a question, though. Do you think when you're on your way home you could

stop at the store for me?

Yes, exactly, sweetie.

No.

I mean, if you want beer, you have to pick that up for you. I don't think you

boys don't want beer, do you?

I don't know.

You better not be eating all those, Dickerson.

Oh, no, I'm not. Pick up an extra apple, too, while you're there.

Because your oldest is eating all of the apples that I cut up for all three of

us. Maybe bring, like, a tea tray or something.

And can you also pick up a plate of meat?

Well, I know she doesn't eat it. It's not for her. It's for us, please.

You like me, don't you?

Yeah. Okay, great.

Yes, and Dickerson, his girlfriend, is normal.

She's normal, he said.

She's awesome.

She's awesome. We do, sir. We're going to be together.

I just want it to be perfect. We have the boys home, and their girlfriends are

coming over, so I think it's just really, really important. Just bring

Will you stop being so rude?

His girlfriend might spend the night.

Is your girlfriend spending the night? I don't think so.

Your girlfriend's spending the night?

Did you ask permission for that?

No. Yes, that's what I thought. So your girlfriend's not spending the night.

How's this place get so dusty?

You boys definitely don't do enough chores.

It wouldn't be so dusty if we were all vegetarians.

Don't even start that with me. This dust has nothing to do

with vegetarianism.

There's a huge dust mine right there.

You know, we could hire a maid.

Why would we hire a maid? That seems like a waste of money. Your toddler

wouldn't be down for it.

I mean, I bet you if we got him a hot one.

Right? Like the secretary.

Yeah.

It's not even that bad.

Some of our friends' houses are pretty.

I know, but... Oh, yeah. I mean, your girlfriends are coming over for our

Thanksgiving together as a family, and I just want it to be perfect. I want to

be able to clean and have the place just look perfect.

Yeah, putting that motherly touch into it.

Well, I am your stepmom, after all. It has mom in it, doesn't it?

I guess that's right, right?

I think it's a 20 -pounder.

Did you do that?

The 20 -pound turkey?

Yeah, I made sure to get a really big one because I didn't know at the time

I bought it that your girlfriend doesn't eat turkey.

So I had to go to the freezer and literally make an

extra room for that vegetarian turkey roast thing from the store.

Toad turkey?

Right?

I don't think you boys realize how difficult Thanksgiving dinner is.

Well, you know, we were all helping. We all helped.

I don't know.

I don't think Dickerson helped them.

Yeah, I know. You just got there and ate them. By the way, did you eat all those

apples? Well, no, no.

There's a little bit left.

There better be.

Apples are one of my favorites, too.

Okay, we'll make sure we have apples. I think your dad was picking up some more

apples on the way back to the store.

Yeah.

Oh, perfect.

I need to get this way.

No, not there.

There. That whole thing there.

Perfect. Yeah.

That's what I was talking about.

I hope that doesn't take too long, though.

He said he was at the store when I was on the phone with him.

So I'm sure he won't take too long, especially with me having to bake a

new pie.

I would hope not either.

You

know,

I really hope your girlfriend appreciates the effort we're putting

her first Thanksgiving with us.

Thank you, Will.

She's pretty understanding.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, I hope that, you know, your father and I like her.

I know Dad will.

Take us in bed with everybody.

Oh, yeah.

That's true.

He does love everybody, doesn't he? He's such a nice guy.

Does your girlfriend have big boobs?

Oh, yeah. Does she have big boobs?

Um.

Yeah, they're pretty big. Yeah?

Are they bigger than mine?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh. Yeah, they're like, she's like triple D's, honestly. Oh, wow. That's

massive.

Yeah. The trips to Vegas and stuff.

I was about to say, it's all the trips.

Yeah.

Again, your dad texted him.

Did he, if he got his story, is he on his way back?

Is he dead?

It's not going through.

Okay, well, we can go through.

We can start your phone if you have to.

Yeah, he's on his own.

All right, well, if you're not doing anything, just go back to cleaning.

Oh, okay.

Good.

Thank you very much. I appreciate the help.

How did you and your girlfriend meet?

Well, we met at a concert.

And, you know, she was very, very calm

and honest.

Yeah? Nice.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, she just hit her top off and, you know. Well, that would catch my

eye.