Original subtitles

All right, who would like to start?

Oh, yes.

Face card not declined.

She looks gag-a-tron sickening.

What did he just say about me?

Oh, no, it's a compliment. It means you look good.

Oh.

Uh, who else?

Yeah? - So funny.

I love when she roasts celebrities.

- Yeah. - Oh, my God, I would love it

if Deborah Vance roasted me.

What would she even say?

- Tiny Q-tip head. - Oh!

Can't see her legs behind the desk.

- Wow. - OK.

She's got amazing legs. I want to see them.

- Put a star next to that one. - Mm.

She looks like an old Lolita.

"Old Lolita"? That's just a woman.

I like when she's funny,

but I don't like when she's trying to be funny.

You know what I mean? - OK.

Shut up.

- Anyone else? - Her hair.

What about it?

I don't know, that it's short.

I-I don't like that it's, like, up.

- Ah, yeah. - Oh, yeah, wait.

It's, like, too up.

Like, that where bird lay egg.

"Too up"? What does that mean?

- A bird's nest. - Yeah, like a bird's nest.

- OK, we want it down. - Yeah.

Y'all need to get a grip.

How a woman wears her hair is none of our business.

Thank you.

That's between her and her husband.

OK, OK, now it's my turn to give feedback on all of you.

- Deborah. - No.

- First of all, Mr. Jowls... - Deborah!

Yeah... yeah, you!

You with the jowls!

It sounds a lot like Deborah Vance.

That sounds like Deborah Vance.

OK, so the ratings of the first few episodes

were fantastic.

New host, first female host... we got the curiosity bump.

But now we've dropped to fourth place.

So Mark here from Data is gonna walk us through

exactly what's going on, yeah?

The top line is, men of all ages love Deborah.

You're overperforming with males

in pretty much every field.

Well, like I've always said, data imitates life.

America loves their MILFs and GILFs.

- Kayla... - Actually, that's correct.

In pornography searches, the terms "MILF,"

which stands for "mom I'd like to eff,"

and "mature" account for almost twice as many searches

as for... younger demographics.

- He means teens. - Yes.

So she's right to note the correlation.

Understood, but it is best not to encourage her.

I'm doing No Nut November.

Cool. It's, uh, February.

Some other subgroups where you play well...

middle-aged Black business owners,

gay dads under 50, college-educated Singaporeans,

retired divorcées in the Great Lakes region.

And then we have our weaker demos,

most notably women ages 25 to 45.

They do not like you.

Women? Oh, God.

72% of them have children,

and 37% are on medication for high blood pressure.

Who cares about stressed-out moms?

They don't laugh at anything.

That demo is very important to ad sales.

They spend the most.

Are you saying women be shopping?

Statistically, they do be.

OK. We'll figure out a way to appeal to them.

What about DJ? She's about to become a mom.

Maybe you film a segment with her.

No, no, I'm not going to use

my pregnant daughter for ratings.

Right. Where's the line? There's the line.

We're not gonna cross it. Noted, right?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I doubt she'd give us much of a boost anyway.

- Hmm. - Guests.

OK, who can we book that moms like?

Testing shows that America's favorite moms

are Jennifer Garner,

Reese Witherspoon, and Gabrielle Union.

Yeah, but none of them have anything to promote right now.

What about Kristen Bell?

She's got that new live-action Tinker Bell movie coming out,

and she's a big-time mom... Hello Bello.

Yes, she does great on socials.

Very clickable face.

Unfortunately, we tried to get her.

She's doing "Kimmel."

- Yeah, they vacation together. - They what?

I think they vacation together.

If you follow her Instagram,

she posts a lot with him and his wife.

- Oh, sorry. - Oh, I am so sorry.

Excuse... Kristen Bell?

- Yes! - Hi!

Hi, Deborah, it's so nice to finally meet you.

I'm such a huge fan. - Oh.

Oh, my... you're a fan? - Yeah.

I was just re-binging "Veronica Mars."

- That's so random. - I know.

Congratulations on your new show.

Oh, thank you so much.

You're so sweet. You know, you should come on.

Oh, I would love to. Absolutely.

- Oh, fabulous. OK. - I'll be there.

I'll have my publicist reach out, OK?

Yeah, but why bother the publicists?

We can just figure this out.

Oh, I don't think it bothers them.

It doesn't, because I only work with people

who love what they do.

- Really? - Yeah.

No, come on. No, seriously.

I'm gonna get out my calendar, you know.

Just name the day.

OK. Um... let me see.

How about today, like, around 4:00, 4:30?

"Today"?

Oh, yeah, no. Next week's fine.

OK, let me see.

OK, Monday I have a pickup.

Tuesday... oh, I'm speaking at the UN.

Are they flexible?

I'm kidding.

OK. Wednesday...

Oh, Wednesday is good for me. I'll bump Giamatti.

Should we put it down? - Oh, I have therapy.

But I'll skip it...

'cause last session, she was telling me

I was too nice and had trouble with boundaries,

so I feel like canceling on her might impress her.

- Good for you. - Yeah.

OK, Wednesday, then. - Great. Fabulous.

- Yeah. Great. - OK.

- I'll see you Wednesday. - See you next week.

- OK, great. - Thanks, Kristen. Bye.

Bye.

♪ Born to boogie ♪

Do you need something, Kayla?

My bad. Did that land over here?

- Good morning. - Good morning.

How are you?

I'm doing good, 'cause I have a plan.

Oh, God, is this your plan to trick

the Olsen twins into acting again?

They don't want to. - No, but that plan would work.

We would just need to get Tia and Tamera first because...

Twins listen to other twins.

- Yes, I've heard your theory. - Well, I've been thinking

about the late-night testing results,

and I figured out a way we can help Deborah.

Great. What is it?

By bringing in TikTok star Dance Mom.

She's from rural Alberta, which is apparently in Canada.

People love her.

Dance Mom?

Huh.

Wow.

♪ All the while they're thinking us, us, us, us, us ♪

♪ 'Cause you've been so out of touch... ♪

- She's cute. - Mm-hmm.

Honestly, this is a great idea.

She's got a lot of followers. OK, book a meeting.

Oh, I did. It's right now. You're late.

She's waiting for you to let her in.

- Wait, what? - Hi!

- Hello. - Hi!

It's so great to finally meet you.

I'm Kayla. This is Jimmy.

We are the cofounders of Schaefer & LuSaque.

LuSaque & Schaefer.

Well, it's really great to meet you.

Like I said in my message, we love your dance moves.

He can't stop watching them late at night.

So good. I'm addicted.

Well, anytime, really, not just late.

- Yeah, but late. - Oh, my goodness.

But, yeah, we're so excited to talk to you

about collaborating with our client Deborah Vance.

Ever heard of her? - Oh, my God! Of course!

I'm obsessed with her sassy oven mitts.

Do you know they're flippin' machine washable?

I know. They're a great set of mitts.

We can actually send you a pair.

So, listen, we would love to fly you to LA

and have you meet Deborah and potentially audition

to be a guest dancer on her show.

- Oh, yeah. - Really? Oh, stop.

I mean, the only time I've ever been to the States

was when I was a kid, when my whole family

went to Pittsburgh to visit the Heinz Ketchup museum.

My whole family loves ketchup.

Yeah, it's... ketchup is great, yeah.

We'll get you a whole big bottle, girl.

Wow, Los Angeles.

Like the LA episodes of "Sex and the City."

- Yeah. - I would love to.

- Great! - Oh, my God!

- All right. - We'll fly you private.

Unfortunately, we can't fly you private.

That's not possible, but...

You will fly first, and you'll have a greeter.

I'll be there!

Yeah!

Oh, wow.

Look at that. - There you go.

OK, spill. Are you seeing anyone?

I feel like when you left "On the Contrary,"

you were super single.

Actually, I have been seeing this boy/girl couple.

Oh, my parents are boy/girl.

No, it's actually super ideal with the new job,

because I work such late hours.

They don't get mad

'cause they have each other to hang with.

- Yeah. - There you go.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Ava, I meant to say, I didn't know

Courteney Cox played the drums.

Yeah. You saw that?

Well, Lewis was asking me if we'd seen it.

He described a clip to the room.

But I did see the Golden Bachelor

eating spaghetti with his feet.

That was funny.

Yeah. That was stupid.

I-I pitched Fran Lebowitz,

but Deborah wanted to go with the foot thing, so...

You know, it's a new show.

We're still figuring it out.

But the plan has always been to lean

in a more political direction.

- That's cool. - Yeah.

Awesome. - That's awesome.

And we have amazing musical guests.

So if there's anyone you guys ever want to see,

you should come to a taping.

Yeah, maybe when we're back from D.C.

- Yeah. - What are you doing there?

Well, our segment on the Innocence Project

helped get this guy out of prison.

And now he's graduating college,

and we're all going to his grad party.

Wild.

And then we're going to the Hill.

Apparently, the Senate Finance Committee

is low-key obsessed with us.

That is so great.

- Yeah, they're sweet. - Totally.

♪ Come back, pretty baby ♪

♪ And I'll be the girl ♪

♪ You want me to be ♪

♪ Lordy, Lordy, Lordy ♪

♪ I'm begging you, my little darling ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

Hello, Deborah.

Jimmy. What a pleasant surprise.

Is it?

KB's not doing your show.

KB?

Don't play dumb. Kristen Bell.

Everyone knows that when she has a new project,

she does my show first.

I got full custody when Conan died.

Oh, you own her?

Let's just say I've put in my time.

I switched to a Samsung phone

so she wouldn't be the only one with green bubbles.

I invested $38,000 in her gluten-free energy bars

for Africa or something.

I wore a K. Bell brand organic diaper on a billboard.

You think I did that because I'm proud of my body?

No, I did it for bookings.

- Shit. - Big-time shit.

Go jam your dick up Fallon's ass.

You fucked with the wrong Jimmy.

Oh, I see what this is.

You think it's fun to bully

the first female late-night host?

Oh, you think this is bullying?

I just don't want to see you end up like James Corden.

Did you hear what happened?

They found a whole bunch of horse porn on his computer.

Happened right after he got a little too friendly

with Jennifer Aniston.

He had to move back to England.

He's sweeping chimneys now. It's really sad.

Yeah.

OK, well, I have a show to do, Jimmy.

- Yeah. - Hmm.

Good luck.

Break a leg.

My parking spot's closer to the door

than yours is, you fucking loser!

What if instead of Founding Father,

we did the Founding Mother, but it's just Deborah in a wig?

Like, a different wig? - That's really funny.

Oh, this stupid pen!

I had the cap off.

Yeah.

Eliot, I love that idea.

What if it's, like, a very long CVS receipt,

but it's actually the Declaration of Independence

but there's, like, still a, like, Neutrogena coupon

at the bottom?

The Declaration of Independence?

I do not want to hear CNN words

every time I walk into this room.

You're supposed to be working

on my mom-friendly cooking bit with Antoni.

Right, about that.

Um, I was thinking last night, and I just think

that we should focus on things that feel unique to you.

Well, I don't want to spend my time doing jokes

that most people have to Google to understand.

Well, using Google isn't as hard for most people

as it is for you.

Why don't we watch the cyber-shaming?

What I want to do are segments

that are appealing to moms.

Does anyone have a segment that moms would like?

I know! Ooh.

How about a week of mommy makeovers?

"Makeovers"?

Anyone can do mommy makeovers.

No one can do a makeover like me.

It's just broad.

I mean, you remember Jen Silvers from "Salon"

said we were leaning a little daytime?

Well, who cares what she thinks?

She cuts hair. - No, "Salon" magazine.

Well, the only salon I care about

is Sally Hershberger.

Oh, my God, she could do the makeovers!

OK, I've got it. Done deal.

All right, everybody, Sally Hershberger, makeovers.

I'm gonna make the call. Let's go.

OK, why don't we take a ten-minute phone break?

What?

I think we are in danger of bending too...

Too much towards the data.

And perhaps that's not the best way to create art.

Frida Kahlo didn't consult a focus group

about what colors she should paint with.

She also didn't consult a pair of tweezers.

What's your point? - Well...

I have to pee so bad.

Can we just finish this in the restroom, please?

They didn't give us all that data

just to admire the graph patterns!

I get that data is useful.

We can keep it in mind and weave it into the show

when we can organically.

But you are trying to reverse engineer jokes

to make specific people laugh.

We can't please everyone.

Wrong. No, our job is to please everyone.

This isn't like 12 shows on the road

where the audience self-selects.

This is national television.

We are selling soap.

Yes, we have to be funny, but we are also selling soap.

You can still sell soap

while remaining authentic to your voice.

It's the difference between making art

and churning out content.

I do not want to make a show... - Oh, no.

This is not about what you want!

It's not even about what I want... it's what they want.

And in case you've forgotten, I am the face of this show.

No one in that focus group brought you up even once,

if you can believe that.

Uh...

OK, change of plans.

Do you guys actually mind stepping out?

Oh, for the love of...

And remember your tools...

compassion, not condescension.

OK, we'll wait for Stacey to finish this conversation.

Well, it's gonna be a while.

Fuck. Shit.

Is everything OK?

Emily Blunt doesn't want to do

the "Gravy Bowl Challenge."

Fuck.

Sorry, guys, I might have to go deal with this.

- OK - Is that OK?

- Yeah, yeah. - Thank you for understanding.

You guys are so... so good at this.

I'll text you. You're awesome.

You're awesome.

- I love you. - I love you.

Oh, fuck!

♪ Ain't no trouble, baby ♪

♪ I got to see you tonight... ♪

Can we also get a bottle of sparkling for the table?

Oh, not for me. Too spicy.

- Ah. - OK.

I'd like to keep this and frame it.

Thank you.

Scrapbook.

- Exactly. - Yeah.

Everyone in LA is so glamorous.

I mean, gosh!

I've never seen so many people wearing makeup in the daytime.

Well, this could be your life, mama.

Oh. This day has been all bucket list.

I mean, Rodeo Drive, Sunset Strip...

- Whoo! - Ripley's Believe It or Not!

I feel like the Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

And to top it all off,

you're gonna audition for Deborah's show.

How cool is that? - Pretty cool.

I've been thinking about that.

And gosh, Jimmy, I'm so sorry, but I-I...

I don't know.

- Why the hell freaking not? - Yeah.

I'm flattered.

And today has been the best day of my life.

But everyone in LA is just so fancy and so beautiful,

and I just feel like such a hoser.

And I would be too intimidated to be on the show.

And so I just think that...

I'm not the person you're looking for.

No, no. You are.

And we should have brought you to Mid City.

You know, there's a lot of ugly people there.

- I don't believe you, Jimmy. - It's true.

And you're gorgeous, respectfully.

I can't be on TV.

I just make content on my phone.

Listen, it is scary, but, honestly,

Kayla and I grew up here,

so we really know LA. - Mm-hmm.

And the truth is, everybody's intimidated.

Everybody.

They're just pretending like they're not.

To be honest, imposter syndrome is an epidemic.

Even I struggle with it. - Not me.

Well, OK, a lot of people do, especially women.

A lot of women and Jimmy.

And the truth is, is that you're really special...

- Yes. - And nobody here

is any better than you are. - Oh, except for Demi Moore.

She's awesome, and she's over at the bar.

I'm friends with one of her daughters.

Not the other one. We're fighting. Yeah.

- Oh, my God. - Yeah.

Look, it might not work out with Deborah.

But you're here. You're in Hollywood.

- Yes. - Why not just audition?

You only live once. Seize the day.

You're right.

I'll audition.

- Yes! - I'm going to audition.

OK, great, great.

Yes! Let's get margaritas!

"Margaritas"? I don't think so.

It's lunchtime.

Let's drink. Let's go to the M&M store.

Come on, live a little.

OK, I'll have a margarita.

- Yeah! - Margaritas!

Olé! - Wow!

♪ Keep on doing what you're doing ♪

♪ Keep on, don't stop ♪

And you thought we were just making a standard PBJ.

No, not today.

And what I like to do, a little hack...

I take some of these hemp seeds,

and I put them... sneak them right in the middle

for some added protein and a little bit of crunch.

That is sneaky.

And you know you got to trick kids into eating healthy.

I remember when my daughter was in first grade.

She refused to eat anything except shrimp cocktail.

I had to sneak vegetables into a rémoulade.

Moms get it.

I cannot wait to dig into this.

Mmm! - Beautiful.

I love bread. Oh, and I eat it.

It's terrible.

Mmm. Oh, my gosh!

And this spread is one of my favorites.

It's absolutely... - Oh, Deb, sorry.

You're getting your hair in the jam.

Oh, oops. Sorry.

Ha.

You know, I feel most comfortable in the kitchen.

I really do.

Thank you to Antoni, and we'll be right back.

♪ You got me where you want me ♪

♪ Want me ♪

♪ I'm shackled to your love ♪

♪ To your love ♪

♪ Set me free, set me free ♪

OK, it's go time.

You are gonna nail this audition.

You got it. OK?

Stomp that yard, queen!

Be yourself 'cause everyone else is taken.

OK. I wish I didn't wear this sweater.

It's really hot.

Oh, I like it.

It's so nice. You look like a princess.

OK, we're ready for you.

- OK. - Here we go.

- I got this, eh? - You got this.

Yeah! Good luck.

Have fun. We'll be out there watching.

- OK. - OK. Break a leg.

- She's so sweet. - I know.

I gave her a tequila shot to help loosen her up.

- You did? So did I. - So she's had two shots?

- Three. I gave her a double! - Oh, my God.

♪ I'm gonna love you till the end ♪

♪ And then repeat it ♪

Whoa.

Whoo!

Yeah!

Whoo!

Wow, OK.

You aren't kidding around, are you?

We have a lot to discuss.

I know one thing for sure.

I could use that energy in my audience tomorrow night.

Yeah, we're gonna get you some tickets.

Oh, really? Oh, my goodness!

That would be amazing. Thank you so much.

I'll see you tomorrow. - OK.

I can't wait. I can't wait!

Thank you.

Thank you so much for coming.

- Bye-bye. - Bye.

It's obviously a no, right?

She does have a lot of followers.

- She does. - Yeah, so did Charles Manson.

It is dangerously close

to "Gong Show" territory, Jimmy.

She has other dances she could do.

I loved it.

It's a no.

OK. Well, thank you for your time.

- It's your loss. - No, I'm sorry.

I have to go. Antoni's taking me to dinner.

We're going to a place that has acclaimed butter.

- Sorry, Jimmy. - It's OK.

- It's OK. - Thank you, guys.

Thank you. - OK, yeah.

My little maple leaf, she's gonna be so disappointed.

I know.

Let's tell her after the show tomorrow.

- Not it! - OK.

Ay, Christmas!

♪ Get it! ♪

♪ Find a move ♪

♪ Get the groove ♪

Thank you.

Oh, Antoni, you're so welcome.

Obviously, all that stuff I said about Tan,

that stays between us, right?

Of course.

Oh, honey, thanks for doing the show.

Mwah, mwah.

Hey, do you want a tour of the kitchen?

I actually happen to know the executive chef.

We did a week at Ecole Ducasse together,

and she's a fucking legend.

This woman can take apart a hogget with her teeth!

Oh, my gosh, maybe next time, honey.

Thank you. I have something I have to do.

OK, take care.

- Should we get dessert? - Yeah.

Oh, hello.

How long have you been there?

What have you... what have you seen?

Enough.

So I guess you can please everyone.

Hi, I'm Deborah.

- Hi. Emily. - I'm Dev.

- Hi, nice to meet you. - We should get going.

We were just finishing up. - Oh, great, great.

I'll get the bill,

unless you were planning to do a three-way.

Oh, excuse me.

Yes, we'd like to get some dessert... one of everything.

Then they can sort out how they want to split it.

That's so sweet. Thank you.

May I?

Excuse me.

Thank you.

So...

how do you three know each other so well?

Dev and Emily are my...

We're in a... the three of us...

Monogamy is a silly con...

Dev and I are married, and Ava is our third.

Oh. Is there a fourth?

Or is third sort of the lowest you can place?

Uh, we... we feel pretty good with three.

You don't have to answer her questions.

No, we're happy to answer questions.

You know, people are curious.

It's good to talk about it, destigmatize it.

- Exactly. - Yeah, we're open.

I mean, we're open to talking about it,

but we're also open.

Two women?

Wow, you must have incredible stamina

and a headache.

I'm just kidding.

Lucky guy.

That is so antiquated.

You know, Emily and I are both queer, so we're all lucky.

Mm, I'm happy for you.

And for you.

And you.

- Thank you. - Thanks.

Uh, is it weird seeing each other outside of work or...

Oh, no.

Ava used to live in my guest suite.

Oh, you two knew each other before the show?

Not well. I just wrote jokes for her.

That's right.

Well, I should be going.

Oh, what about dessert?

Oh, no, no, no. You enjoy. It's fine.

Um, but don't stay out too late.

Remember, the show is at 11:30.

I hope you're watching every night.

- Well... - Um...

What?

I told them to wait for it to get good.

Well, of course.

It's lovely to meet you. - You as well.

Maybe we should get the dessert to go?

- Sure. - Yeah.

How's that, Ms. Vance?

- Can you see my ankles? - A little.

Then a little bit more.

We're gonna need a fresh blade.

- Thank you. - Hey.

Nate wrote a great blow to the modern-parenting setup.

"Sweden voted to increase parental leave

"to 500 paid days.

The only downside is, you have to live in Sweden."

That's it?

No, then we're gonna cut to, like, pictures

of how beautiful Sweden is... that's the joke.

No, I'm not using visual aids to help you sell your joke.

No.

Uh, this is exactly what you want.

Who cares more about paid parental leave than moms?

Come on, work with me on this. - No, it's depressing.

No, I'm doing the wine o'clock joke.

We can't do wine o'clock.

I'm doing wine o'clock, and that's that.

You're not doing wine o'clock!

I'm doing wine o'clock!

- No wine o'clock! - Yes, wine o'clock!

Ladies! Looks like you both owe the volume jar some money.

Send me an invoice. I have to finish getting ready.

Oh, my gosh. There's almost $4,000 in here.

I do not feel comfortable having that in my car.

My sister was knocked unconscious for less.

Hey, Aaron, can you pull up the last mono joke?

We're gonna replace it with this.

Mm-hmm.

But I'm not threatened.

I'm not. I'm not.

Oh, and, finally...

And, finally, a-a new study out of Harvard

just discovered

that babies sleep better if you put them to bed at 8:00.

But we moms, of course, know that it's really wine o'clock.

And here's a picture of Sweden. It's beautiful.

All right, we'll be right back.

And we're clear.

How dare you put that joke in?

You should have done it. Yours bombed.

Because I didn't have the right cue cards.

You should know the punch line

because it's the same hacky shit

that's been done a million times.

Oh, God, God, why don't you just go

back to your old show so you could do

your boring C-SPAN bullshit?

Too late... I left to join this sinking ship.

Guys, guys. Both of you calm down, please.

You want to be an ice queen in your personal relationships,

go ahead, but if you want the audience to like you,

you need to let them get to know you.

Yeah, and how did letting you get to know me work out,

you pathetic, conniving bitch!

- Oh, my God. - No, no! Please!

This conversation's not being monitor...

Oh! Oh!

- Holy shit! Are you OK? - Oh, shit!

- Oh, God. - TJ!

- Ooh. - Oh!

- Is it bad? - It's a little cut.

- Yeah, there's a cut. - It's not good. Yeah.

And you might have chipped a tooth.

Party people, make some noise!

Yeah!

- This is all on you. - What?

OK, calm down. Nobody here is at fault.

Oh, they're both at fault!

I'm with you two all the time.

You... you're obsessed with data and demos.

I mean, get over it! And you!

You're obsessed with making this show seem so highbrow.

- What? - Yes, honey.

I see you on your phone constantly googling,

"When are the Peabody Award submission dates?"

December 1st. December 1st.

Why is that so hard for you to remember?

OK, you need to see a medic,

and we need to finish the show, OK?

- Yeah. - Let's go.

We're gonna get you some help.

Date didn't change the 700 times you looked it up.

I'm fine! - Can we, please?

Is Dance Mom still here?

Wait, what? Come on.

Is she?

- Yes. - Jimmy.

Good.

Get her ready.

All right!

To wrap up the show, we have a very special guest.

Making her television debut, Dance Mom!

♪ I'll love you for ♪

♪ I'll love you for life ♪

♪ Lifetimes ♪

♪ I'll love you for ♪

♪ I'll love you for life ♪

♪ Lifetimes ♪

♪ I know you feel it ♪

♪ Can you believe it? ♪

♪ I'm gonna love you till the end ♪

♪ And then repeat it ♪

♪ I know you feel it ♪

♪ Can you believe it? ♪

♪ I'm gonna love you till the end ♪

♪ And then repeat it ♪

♪ Like the sun is always rising ♪

♪ Like the stars are in the sky ♪

♪ You and I will find each other ♪

♪ In every single life ♪

♪ Baby, you and me ♪

♪ For infinity ♪

♪ My eternity ♪

♪ Baby, you and me ♪

♪ For infinity ♪

♪ My eternity ♪

♪ I'll love you for ♪

No, no, no, no!

Oh, my God.

♪ Lifetimes ♪

♪ I'll love you for ♪

♪ I'll love you for life ♪

♪ Lifetimes ♪

♪ I know you feel it ♪

♪ Can you believe it? ♪

♪ I'm gonna love you till the end ♪

♪ And then repeat it ♪

♪ I know you feel it ♪

♪ Can you believe it? ♪

♪ I'm gonna love you till the end ♪

♪ And then repeat it ♪

Wasn't she phenomenal?

We should have her back, right?

Dance Mom! Give it up, give it up, give it up!

♪ Oh, love is a fire ♪

♪ And it's burning up my soul ♪

♪ Oh, love is a fire ♪

♪ And it's raging out of control ♪

♪ Baby ♪ - ♪ Baby ♪

- ♪ Listen ♪ - ♪ Listen ♪

♪ I'm selling my soul to the devil in you ♪

♪ So give me ♪ - ♪ Give me ♪

♪ Give me the strength, and I'll push it through ♪

♪ So open the door ♪

♪ And take me where I've never been before ♪

♪ Oh, love is a fire ♪

♪ And it's burning up my soul ♪

♪ Oh, love is a fire ♪

♪ And it's burning up my soul ♪

♪ My soul ♪ - ♪ Oh ♪

- ♪ My soul ♪ - ♪ Love is a fire ♪

♪ Love is a fire ♪

- ♪ Oh, love is a fire ♪ - ♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Love is a fire ♪

♪ And it's burning up my soul ♪

- ♪ My soul ♪ - ♪ My soul ♪

- ♪ Love is a fire ♪ - ♪ My soul, yeah ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh, love is a fire ♪