Original subtitles

Aah!

Mr. Winslow,

Isn't it a little late To play baseball?

Waldo...

Isn't it a little late To be in my kitchen?

It's never too late For a nutritious snack.

Pickle?

I hate to bring this up, Waldo,

But you don't even Live here.

What's your point?

The point is, waldo,

That you should be eating At your own apartment.

But I might wake up Eddie.

Well, you woke me up.

It doesn't matter. You're going out To play baseball.

So, waldo,

You walked all the way Over here in your pajamas?

Of course not. That would be stupid.

I took the bus.

Well, you can take The same bus right back.

You know...

I'm starting to feel That I'm not wanted here.

Good, waldo.

Go with that feeling.

See where it takes you.

Well, you don't have To paint me a picture.

I'll just have to finish My snack at home.

And if I wake up eddie,

It'll be on your head.

Hey, waldo, They got any cold cuts?

Not out.

I'll just get Some cheese.

Cool.

[boing boing]

[boing boing boing]

I know this is my house.

I pay the mortgage. My name is on the bills.

I looked at it yesterday.

Carl?

Boy, it's a little late To be playing baseball.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these Gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

I saw her again.

The sexy goddess Who lives upstairs?

Yeah. She was doing Her laundry.

So what'd you say? What'd you say?

Well, all I could manage To get out was...

Humna huhla fumla luhna.

Oh. French.

No. I spoke fluent idiot.

Man, I blew it.

Every time I see her,

My mind goes blank.

Huh?

The girl of my dreams...

Lives right above me,

But she might as well be A thousand miles away.

Hey, what's up, steve?

I guess.

What's wrong?

Guys, I've got bad news.

My father invented Something called A brain cam,

A microscopic camera Inserted into the brain

To locate brain damage.

Why's that bad news?

He's been asked To demonstrate it

In hospitals All across russia.

Guys, my parents Are moving to moscow.

You going, too? You going, too?

Not if I can help it.

I don't want to be away From my friends and myra,

My tutti-frutti Funtime cutie.

Oh, man, that is rough.

And I don't want To miss my senior year Of high school.

Definitely not.

Those were The best three years Of my life.

I'll never make it In russia.

You have to stand in line For two weeks

To get cheese.

Why don't you just Stay in your house?

Ma and pa urkel Already rented it out.

I might never see you guys For the rest of my life.

Hmm.

Well...

Send us a postcard.

Hey, mom!

Hey, dad!

Hey, stranger.

To what do we Owe the honor Of this visit?

Well, I got A big problem.

Steve's parents Are moving to russia.

Is steve going, too? Is steve going, too?

Well, he is if he doesn't Find a place to stay.

He asked if he could move in With me and waldo.

What'd you tell him?

Well, I told him I'd think it over.

Think it over?

Think it over?

Edward, you are Steve urkel's best friend.

To steve, the sun Rises and sets on you.

But, dad--

But, but, but, but!

You need to show A little compassion,

A little humanity.

Can you just picture

Poor steve moving All the way to russia,

Away from all Of his friends,

Away from the only home He's ever known?

Can you really Do that to steve

And still look at Yourself in the mirror?

No.

I think not.

Well, I guess I better Go tell steve

He can come and live With us then.

You bet. You go, boy.

Okay, carl.

You want to tell me What all that was about?

What?

Why all this sudden concern About steve?

If steve moves in With eddie and waldo,

He won't be asking To move in with us.

Ha ha ha!

Carl winslow...

You should be Ashamed of yourself.

Oh, I am.

I really am.

So, mother winslow...

What are you and fletcher Doing tonight?

Well, fletcher's Going hunting.

What are you doing?

I'm hiding.

Oh, mom, grandma, Guess what?

I got straight as On my report card.

You did?

Congratulations.

Ooh, got an "A" in french.

Oui. Absolument.

Oh, that's my girl.

Oh, I'm so proud Of you, laura.

How'd you do, max?

Let's just say We came here Instead of my house.

Gotcha.

You know...

It's times like this

I wish eddie Hadn't moved out.

Ah! You miss him, huh?

No. It's more fun To gloat in person Than by phone.

Ha ha!

* I'm living With eddie and waldo *

* I'm living With eddie and waldo *

* I'm living With eddie and waldo **

[spitting]

There's a no singing clause In our lease.

Hee hee hee!

This is going to be boss.

Let's celebrate.

I'm taking my best buds To lunch and a movie.

Can eddie and I come?

He's treating us, waldo.

Okay, but those Other guys are Going to be mad.

They can come, too, waldo.

Cool.

Hey, before we go,

You guys want to see Something neat?

Ugh!

Those are disgusting.

Careful. They might hear you.

What are those?

Super termites.

I bred them myself.

They only live For three days,

But they eat wood A thousand times faster Than ordinary termites.

Let's see what My little buddies did With their snack.

They've got The right idea.

Let's go try and eat.

Yeah, especially Since steve's buying.

Come on.

[sniffling]

Waldo, will you Please stop crying?

I can't help it.

It's that forrest gump.

He's just so darn smart.

Hey.

Boy, you're stronger Than I thought.

What's going on?

Wuh-oh!

My termites got loose.

And this whole building Is...

Wood.

Be careful Where you step.

We could go right Through the floor.

Well, it looks like...

They're eating Their way upwards.

[creaking]

I suggest we vamoose!

Wow, eddo, what luck.

The girl of your dreams Just dropped in.

Hey, baby,

Humla, humla, Fumla...

Hu-hu-himinaha.

[coughing]

Are you okay?

I think so. What happened?

My termites Got out of control.

Ha...Actually...

There's a good Side to this.

You see, I've been dying To talk to you.

Well, you will.

In court!

Aw...

Oh, baby.

Well, I'm glad My aunt agnes Wasn't here.

She has A wooden leg.

Oh, I'm sorry, guys.

I destroyed Your apartment.

What are we Going to do?

What do you mean, "We"?

I think what he means By "We"

Is you, me, and him In a collective sense.

I know!

I was being sarcastic.

Man, I'm going to have to Move back home now.

I'll have to Move back home, Too.

At least you guys Have homes to go to.

I'll be headed To moscow,

Where I'll go To boris yeltsin High school

For my senior year.

Ohh!

If you're a nerd, They pour vodka Down your pants.

Whoa!

Mrs. Winslow, It's so thoughtful of you

To buy laura A new outfit.

I wanted to get her Something nice For making straight as.

I just hope She likes it.

Ooh, don't worry. She is going to love it.

Ooh, girl!

You look hot!

Do you like it?

Uh, yeah, it's really...

Nice.

You know, it's Really different

From what I Normally wear?

But it is really nice.

Oh, good. I'm so glad.

You know, I got earrings That'll look great with that.

I'll run up And get them.

Ha ha ha.

Ooh, girl, that dress is the Bomb.

Girl, give it up. My mom's gone.

Huh?

Girl you noticed It is awful.

I said I liked it

Because I didn't Want to hurt My mom's feelings.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

She usually has Great taste.

She must've bought This thing in a blackout.

I picked out That dress For your mother.

You did? You're kidding, right?

You're not kidding?

Your mom asked me To help her find

Something nice For you.

And I happen to think this look Is a vast improvement

Over the clothes You normally wear.

What's wrong with the clothes I normally wear?

Nothing.

If you don't mind, dowdy.

Dowdy.

You know, that's real funny Coming from you--

Someone who's made Mr. Blackwell's 10 worst dressed list.

Oh, no! You don't Want to go there.

Oh, yes, I do And I did.

[both arguing at once]

Hey!

Hey, hey! Hold it, hold it,

Hold it!

What's going on here?

Why did you let Maxine pick out This horrible outfit?

Well, I'm sorry you Don't like it.

Max helped me go shopping As a favor.

She gave up her entire Saturday afternoon for you.

I would think you'd be

A little bigger And show some gratitude.

That's right.

And, max,

Honestly, now, Did you think this outfit

Would look good on laura Or on you?

Well, I guess on me.

You know...

You two are friends.

You like each other For what you have in common.

You should also like What's different.

Friends can like Different things And still be friends.

You're right, mom.

Do you mind if I give This dress to max?

No, I don't mind.

That would be nice.

It's all yours, girl.

Oh, wow. Thanks.

You got Straight as,

And I got A new dress.

Life is good.

Hi, everybody.

Hi. Hey.

Uh...

Have you missed me Since I moved out?

Only like crazy.

Good, good.

I'm glad you Feel that way.

You see, I had A little mishap At my apartment.

Mishap?

Well, yeah.

Steve sort of invented A super breed of termite

That kind of ate Through the third And fourth floors.

Uh... Anyway, I was wondering If I could move back home?

You mean here?

W-well, yeah.

Well, gee, eddie, I don't know--

Oh, hush, carl.

Of course you can Move back home.

I've missed you So much, eddie.

Ooh, my little boy's Coming back home.

Well, wait a minute.

If your apartment Is destroyed,

Where is steve Going to live?

Dos va danya, big guy.

Steve...

You're not going To russia, are you?

'fraid so.

My plane Leaves in two hours.

My dad got me a ticket Less than coach.

Peasant.

Have a nice flight.

Carl,

Couldn't steve Live with you?

Uh, mother...

Ha, that's a very big decision.

I'm going to take A few months To think about it.

Think about it?

Think about it?

Why would you Have to think About it, dad?

Well, you see...

Dad, you are Steve urkel's hero.

In his eyes,

The sun rises And sets on you.

But--but--but-- But--but--but--but.

Could you picture Poor steve

Moving all the way To russia?

Away from All his friends?

Away from The only home He's ever known?

But it's steve...

Can you Let that happen To poor steve...

And still look At yourself

In the mirror Every day?

Well, I--I...

I...

Think not!

Well, I...

I never thought I'd say this...

Oh!

But, steve...

Oh!

You--you--you--you...

[crying]

You can live here.

[steve] Oh...

Oh, thank you, Big guy.

Oh, god bless you.

God bless you!

I promise, You'll never Regret this.

Oh! Oh!

* I'm gonna live With the winslows *

* I'm gonna live With the winslows, hey! *

* I'm gonna live With the winslows *

* I'm gonna live With the winslows, hey! *

* I'm gonna live With the winslows *

I'm gonna live With the winslows, hey! **

* winslows, hey! Winslows, hey! *

* hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! *

* whoa **

[bells playing danny boy]

Steve.

Big guy, what Are you doing here?

It's late.

I'm aware of that.

What are you doing With these bells?

No, no, no, not bells.

Swiss melody chimes.

Get rid of them!

Well, I-I'm sorry. Big guy.

I'm sorry. No more chimes.

Now you sleep Tighty tight

With all your Mighty might.

Thank you.

Accordion playing Danny boy]

[carl] Steve!