Original subtitles

Come on.

1...

2...

3...

Go!

Unh!

Uhh!

You have Never beaten me!

Uhh!

There's always A...First time!

Yeah, right.

Unh! Unh!

Look out, dad!

Unh! Unh!

Uhh! Uhh!

Ah! Ah!

Ha ha!

I did it!

I beat you At arm wrestling!

Hi-de-ho, budsters!

I just beat dad At arm wrestling.

Uh-uh.

My hand slipped.

Can I have a shot?

We could Flex our pecs,

Test our triceps,

Bend our biceps.

O.K. I got a few seconds To kill.

Come on.

Come on, steve.

Oh! Will you come on!

Jeez!

O.K. O.K. O.K.

O.K.

Ready...

Go!

Daaah!

Daaah!

Hey,

Steve...

Daaah!

You're a lot stronger Than I thought.

It comes from All those years

Of being forced To carry Other kids' books.

Daaah!

Uhh! Say uncle! Never!

Never! Never!

Whoa! Whoa! Dad!

He's moving your arm back!

I can see that!

Aah!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

I almost whupped you.

Dream on.

Admit it. Your arm is sore.

No way.

[chuckles]

I got some barbells In the garage for you.

Thanks, ed-o.

Did you see? I had him going.

Yeah. You looked A little pumped There, steve.

Aieee! Aieee!

Aieee! Aieee! Aieee!

Aieee! Aieee!

Aieee! Aieee!

Ahh!

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside These gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

And I don't believe it.

Of all the nerve!

Oh, now, Just calm down, Puddin'.

What's the matter, Mother winslow?

A bunch of politicians Are cutting the budget

For the senior citizens Center.

Those scoundrels Are trying to Shave off $8,000.

There must be something We can do.

I could throw in That 20 bucks

I was going To borrow from dad.

Wait, I know.

How about a fund raiser? Or maybe a bake sale?

I can make my favorite Chocolate chip cookies.

Laura, we're trying To help people, not kill 'em.

Wait a minute. I've got it.

We can have a good Old-fashioned Dance marathon.

Oh, harriette, That's a great idea!

Now, that's it,

'cause I love The night life.

See, I got to boogie.

A-zoom-zoom.

Ow!

Fletcher,

You be one of the judges.

Yeah, o.K.

[doorbell rings]

Come in!

[door opens]

Hi.

Hey, guys, What's up?

We're here to sign up For the marathon.

Here's our fee.

Thanks. The senior center Can use this.

I hope I'm not Talking out of term,

But if there's Any money left over,

I think it should go To the old people.

It will.

Cool.

Who are you going To the dance with?

I haven't had a chance To ask anybody.

Hey, Hold your chickens.

You could go with My cousin bob.

Bob?

Yeah. Short for Bob-a-lob-a-ding-dong.

What's he like, waldo?

He likes dogs, Soda pop,

And curling up With a good book

In front of A microwave.

Waldo, I don't like Blind dates.

That's how I met Steve urkel.

It's not really A blind date.

You just have To dance with him.

Alright, then, I'll go.

Good.

I'll give Bob-a-lob-a-ding-dong A ring-a-ding-ding.

If he's not home, I'll leave a message With his mom--

Bar-bar-bar-bar- Barbara-ann.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.

Carl. Ba-ba-ba--

Carl? What?

The dance Hasn't started yet.

I know that.

But my toes don't.

Hi.

Hey, mr. Winslow.

I heard steve gave you A whupping arm wrestling.

No, he didn't. I won.

Yeah, but it took you A minute.

With steve urkel, That's the same As being whupped.

Can you believe that?

I beat steve.

Yeah, but it did Take you a while.

Hi-de-ho, Hoofers.

You calling me A loser?

No, I said hoofer.

I said nothing about Your near defeat.

My what?

Steve, I won!

I know, but it doesn't Make a difference--

It does make A difference!

Myra! Myra!

What a lovely outfit You have on.

Thank you. Stevie picked it out.

He says We're going to win.

Stevie's wrong.

Harriette and I Are going to win.

Oh, you must be kidding.

You barely beat me At arm wrestling.

Oh...

But I'll wipe the floor With you, dancing.

Oh, come now, will you?

It's a marathon.

That means endurance.

One of us has a "1" In front of his age...

The other has a "4."

Hey, waldo, are you sure Your cousin bob is coming?

Yep. There he is now.

Your cousin is gorgeous.

No. That's not him.

Him. That's My cousin bob.

Hey.

Cousin bob,

This is laura.

Waldo's told me All about you.

Well, waldo's told me Almost everything about you.

Can I get you something From the snack table?

Ah, sure. I'm kind of thirsty.

Waldo! Why didn't you Tell me

Your cousin bob Was a...

Little person?

Yeah, why didn't you say so?

He already knows.

No. Why didn't you Tell me?

Does it make a difference?

What am I going to do?

You're just going To dance with him.

I'm afraid I'll say something About his height.

Just relax. You'll be fine.

Here's an iced tea.

[drum roll]

Good evening, everybody.

Thanks for coming out And supporting our cause.

All right now, Everybody,

Let's go over The rules.

"Don't...

"Stop...

Dancing."

Now, to kick off Our marathon,

We have a special treat For you.

So, let's give it up For that hot new group--

All...

4...

One.

* she's got the potion And the motion *

* to cure my ills *

* she's got... *

* skills *

Yo, jimmy, man,

Who's that girl I saw you with The other day?

This cutie I met.

But check this out.

* uh, check it out *

* little rump shaker *

* she can really Shake and bake *

* she's got skills *

* ba-oom *

* watch her slippin' And a-slidin' *

* workin' booty Left to right *

* she's got skills *

* ba-oom *

* 'cause she can work it To the left *

* work it to the right *

* she wants to get A little freaky tonight *

* she's got the potion And the motion *

* to cure my ills *

* she's got skills *

* well *

* I said skills *

* girl has got it Goin' on *

* she's got skills *

* she works that booty All night long *

* she's got skills *

* she hits me with The bump and grind *

* she's got skills *

* I think I'm gonna Make her mine *

* she's got the potion And the motion *

* to cure my ills *

* she's got... *

* skills *

* well *

* she's got the skills *

* she's got the skills *

* ah, you got the skills *

* well *

* well *

* yeah *

Yo, folks, Let's take it home.

* skills *

* ooh hoo hoo *

* she's got the potion And the motion *

* to cure my ills *

* she's got... *

* skills, Yeah, yeah **

[motown music plays]

You're a good dancer, Richie.

Thanks. We can win This marathon easy.

You think so?

Sure. But I have To be in bed by 10:00.

So, laura, What are your plans After graduation?

It's always been My dream

To go to harvard And become a midget--

Ooh!

Oh, bob.

I am so sorry.

I can't tell you How sorry I am.

Look, laura,

I'm sorry You're not comfortable With my height...

But I am.

It's not that I'm Uncomfortable.

I'm just a little...

Nervous and edgy And uptight.

You don't run into Little people that often.

If I ran into a guy Half my size,

I'd probably put my foot In my mouth, too.

You know, bob,

You could have made Me feel really bad.

But you didn't.

You're A really nice guy.

Thanks.

* hold me close now **

[western line music plays]

Yee-hah! Yee-hah!

Watch my stroke now, Baby!

[charleston music plays]

[tango music plays]

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

[jitterbug music plays]

Step aside, clyde!

Let me show you How it's done!

Cat's pajamas, Baby!

[polka music plays]

Oh, you look tired, Big guy.

I'm not.

Maybe it's because I'm young.

[slow ballad plays]

Stevie?

Are you limping?

Oh, it's nothing.

I just have a blister The size of montana.

Well, then, uh, We ought to go home.

I'll bathe your feet In warm sudsy water.

No, no, no!

Not as long as He's still on The dance floor.

Harriette.

Uh-huh.

Look at steve limping.

I got him On the ropes now.

I'm going To dazzle him With the dip now.

Hee hee hee hee.

Ah!

Aah!

Carl.

Carl, are you o.K.?

No. I threw my back out.

Here. Let me help you.

Aah!

You o.K., big guy?

Oh, yes, I'm fine.

Fine. Fine.

Carl.

[groans]

You're in pain.

We got to quit. No.

Not while he's still On the dance floor.

[big band music plays]

Wally pop,

I'm pooped. Let's go home.

You mean give up?

Throw in the blanket? Admit defeat?

Yes.

Cool.

Carl?

Huh?

Why don't we Call it quits?

We've been dancing For over 11 hours.

What?

And let that little Cheese eater win?

Cheese eater?

I'd watch what I say, Doughnut dude.

Listen. I've got a solution.

Why don't we just Call it a tie?

Great idea. Then we'd all Be winners.

Hah! Ties are for wimps.

Yeah. Forget it.

Carl, I didn't think It was possible,

But the older you get,

The more childish you get.

What's your point?

My point is, You're walking home.

Well, harri--

[mumbling]

Stevie...

You know I love you With all my heart And soul...

But not my feet.

But, boogie Woogie butt--

Oh, my.

You two are The only ones left.

And you don't have Any partners.

It's over.

We going to hop on The harley,

And we going home.

And I'm right behind you.

[shuts off music]

Hey, would you--

Well...

It's down to just You and me.

Ha ha.

Well, I've got plenty left.

Watch this.

Oh, yeah?

Well, take a gander At this.

I could do this All night.

We have.

Oh, no!

Oh.

Oh.

Ah! Uhh. Uhh.

Ooh. Ooh.

Aah!

Oh.

[groans]

[weak voice] Call it a tie?

Done.

[sighs]

Oh.

Hey.

Ohh.

[groans]

Uhh. Uhh.

Uhh.

Oh.

Oh, boy.

Are we pathetic or what?

Steve,

I'm sorry.

But when you Almost beat me Arm wrestling,

I--I guess I got A little crazed.

I'm sorry, too.

I guess I did kind of Egg you on,

No. That's No excuse, steve.

Steve.

Steve, It's just that...

Well, it's just hard To accept that...

You of all people Almost beat me.

[chuckles]

Don't worry, steve.

Someday You probably will.

You know, It takes a big man To say that.

Oh, well...

I guess that's why You're the big guy.

[hip hop music plays]