Original subtitles

Great news!

Incredible news!

Unbelievable news!

The biggest, Most exciting news Of my life!

I bid two diamonds.

Two, no trump.

What is it, steve?

I'm going to disney world!

I'm so proud Of my stevie.

Tell them the good news, Honeybunch.

Oh, pshaw.

It's just that amateur Inventors weekly

Is sponsoring a national Inventors contest,

And my transformation Chamber made the finals.

Congratulations!

Great!

That mean you're Going to turn into Stefan urquelle?

Yes.

Yes!

But just for a minute,

Then he's turning back Into stevie.

I wish I could go, Dimple knees.

How I wish you could go, Too, beetle butt.

[sigh] [sigh]

Oh, well, Tell them the rest Of the good news.

As a finalist, I get to take Whoever I want.

Since my parents Refuse to travel With me,

I want to take Each and every one Of you.

Oh!

Yes!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Guys, I am way too busy At work.

We can't go.

[harriette] Oh, carl.

I know it would be A lot of fun,

But it's out Of the question.

Carl, I never Told you this,

But when your father Was on his deathbed,

He said to me,

"I have Only one regret."

What was that?

He said, "I never got to take Little carl

To disney world."

Really?

Then he died.

Well...

O.K. We can go.

Yes! Yes!

I don't know what We're going to do.

Carl's father died Before that place Was even built.

Shh! You want to Go there, don't you?

* it's a rare condition

* in this day and age

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside These gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

[harriette] Carl, I'm worried About eddie and waldo.

Oh, relax, Harriette. They'll be fine.

Besides, driving To orlando will Save them money,

And they'll have A great time.

[eddie] Waldo, do you have our route All planned out?

Well, I figured I'd drive it by ear.

If we get lost, There's a gas station In chicago

That I always get Directions from.

[richie] Wow! This place Is the bomb.

[steve] Well, little guy,

When you're A finalist,

They don't skip On the luxurious Things.

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Wait!

Oh, wait. Wait.

That's all right, sir. I got it.

Are you all right, sir?

Here we go.

I got one!

O.K., good. Thank you, sir.

[rachel] Oh, what A beautiful hotel.

[mother winslow] I hope it has A swimming pool.

[laura] I hope it has boys.

[richie] I hope it has A bathroom.

Mr. Urkel.

Wow! You called me mister.

Oh, that's right. You don't know me.

I'm martin fisher,

Publisher Of amateur Inventors weekly.

Welcome.

Let me get that For you.

There you go.

Welcome.

Wow! No one's ever Welcomed me before, Either.

Your transformation Chamber arrived Today,

And we're eager To see it in action.

And you're Going to love it.

Why, it a doozie.

Well, can you really Change yourself

Into another person?

Abso-tootle-utely.

Will it work On my mother-in-law?

Ha ha ha!

[snort]

Come on, steve. Let's go see Our rooms.

Hold on, big guy. Big guy.

You want to Be easy with that.

Easy, easy, easy, Big guy.

Easy, easy, easy.

That suitcase Is packed With the contents

Of four large trunks Under 25,000 pounds Of pressure.

Sure.

I'm not joking. Big guy, I'm serious.

Big guy, I'm not joking.

Be careful.

[explosion]

Wow! Look at that!

Mom! Mom!

We're almost inside, Uncle carl.

Huh?

He said we're almost Inside, uncle carl.

Yeah.

Oh, this is great.

What's the matter, carl?

You look like you're A million miles away.

I remembered Some info about That car theft ring

I need to tell Captain savage About.

We'll take you To a pay phone

As soon As we get inside.

Thanks, mama.

And we're leaving You there.

You're bumming us out.

[bell ringing]

Wow.

Carl, carl, What's the matter?

Nothing, harriette.

This place Is wonderful.

I'm going to Have fun, harriette.

I'm going to Have fun!

Of course you are.

* on the road again

* I just want to be On that road again *

* all my life I'm makin' music With my friends *

* I can't wait to get On that road again **

Hey, waldo, How many miles Have we gone?

About 250.

We're coming up On a little town Called cañada.

Waldo...

That's not cañada.

That's canada!

You've been driving The wrong way

For the past four hours!

This is a fine time To tell me.

What a dufus.

Oh, wow. Look at that.

Richie, see that? Isn't that cool?

Hey, there's Steve's thing.

There it is.

There it is right there.

There it is. Uh-huh.

Come on, mama. Right here.

Mm-hmm.

Greetings, everyone,

And thank you for coming

To amateur inventors Weekly's

Annual national amateur Inventors contest finals.

Let's meet Our first inventor--

Oliver stengle With his car in a case.

You're driving along The road,

Minding your own business,

When what happens?

Your car breaks down.

Thanks a lot, You worthless piece of junk!

But not to worry. Why?

Because in your trunk You have...

Car in a case.

That's right. Here you go.

Um, uh, steve...

After you turn Into stefan,

Can you stay around For a little while?

We've been down This road before,

And the stefan and Laura tree of love

Bears Forbidden fruit.

You can start it up, fellas.

Watch this.

O.K.

All right. Here we go. Here we go.

Everybody, clear my way.

Clear my way.

You want to get killed?

Ain't I something? Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

There we go.

Thank you.

Over here We have zoralee rasmussen.

Her invention...

The quicky chef.

Thank you.

Tired after a long day?

Don't feel like cooking? Who does?

Well, all you need to do

Is put all the ingredients

Of a nutritious, Yummy dinner

Into your quicky chef...

Push, push the start button,

And your piping-hot dinner Is ready in seconds.

Oh.

Ta-da!

[audience applauds]

Thank you.

Thank you.

And lastly,

We have steve urkel.

What does your Invention do, steve?

It alters my dna code On the genetic level,

Changing me Into a completely Different person.

Ooh. Dna...

Cutting edge.

Now first...

I fill the chamber

With a gene-altering Elixir

I like To call boss sauce.

I hope that's not A toxic substance, Steve.

Shh! Not while I'm pouring.

O.K.

Now I'll need the help

From my lovely Assistant.

Now I'll be back In a jiffy, folks,

As someone else.

[machine humming]

Wow.

Ooh, lord, This man is fine.

I must be In a fairy tale

Because I'm looking At a princess.

According to our judges,

Steve urkel is the--

What's wrong With you people?

Can't you see What he did?

He just stepped Into a port-a-potty

And changed his clothes And stands up straight,

And you're going to Make him the winner?

No. I can prove My chamber really works.

Take a hair sample From me now,

Take another When I change back.

You'll see my dna code Is completely different.

Suppose that's The only fair thing To do.

Hold this.

Seems like We're always saying Goodbye, my sweet.

[cough]

What's the matter, kid,

You lose your suspenders And your white socks?

The kid's a fraud.

Give me the money.

Wait, wait, wait. Look.

I know what went wrong.

I blew a bibulating Rebobulator.

It might have gotten Damaged in the shipping.

I could get another one In a few days.

Very well.

We will postpone Our decision for three days,

If you can have your Chamber fixed by then.

It shall be done, My friend.

Well, then, we'll meet Back here on saturday.

Thank you, folks.

Oh, well.

That was great.

That was super.

What are we Going to do now?

It looks like I have A large denomination Of time

On my hands.

Would you care To spend it with me?

[giggles]

O.K.

Thanks, stefan.

My pleasure.

Now you have two things On a string--

This balloon And my heart.

[laughing]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Knock it out. Come on.

Come on. Get in here.

Come over here.

Aah! Aah!

[honk honk honk]

Flying saucers Have invaded our planet.

Washington, london, paris, Moscow are key targets.

The whole world Is under attack.

Can it survive?

Did you see all that Futuristic techno stuff Back there?

Yeah.

Wait, laura.

What's the matter?

Nothing. I was just thinking

How much steve urkel Would love to see this.

Um, listen, Cinderella,

What's going on?

Why did you Bring me here?

I just want you To sit here.

But, cinderella, This is your throne.

Tonight your prince Will come.

Oh, princess, My princess...

Could this be yours?

[crowd gasps]

Perfect fit.

Laura winslow...

You are the sun...

The rain...

And the wind that Flowers my soul.

I love you more Than life itself.

Will you marry me?

[crowd sighs]

Yes, I will.

Uhh! Something's wrong With steven!

[stefan] Once around the park, My man.