Original subtitles

And that makes it Chicago 110, orlando 100.

Yeah, 100. Uh-huh.

...Dish that off to shaq,

But he took The 3 himself,

So with three minutes left, Orlando isn't out of it.

Isn't out of it. Uh-huh.

The bulls trying To inbound the ball--

We've got one heck Of a game here!

Heck of a game...

Another chicago miscue,

And this game could be Headed for o.T., baby!

Speaking of miscues, Bulls have 12 turnovers so far.

The magic is-- [tv turns off]

You love your son edward.

Love edward...

You're always happy To loan him money.

Loan money...

Lots of money.

Lots of money.

Huh.

Hey. Hey, dad.

Oh. Hey, son.

I'm sorry I woke you.

Oh, that's okay.

You know, son,

I've got This strange urge to...

Tell you That I love you.

Well, I love you, Too, dad.

For some reason, I want to talk About money.

Let's talk about it. What's up?

You owe me 100 bucks.

Oh, man.

When you wake up You'll loan him some money.

Amature.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these Gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out o' every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

Hello-dee-o-dee-o!

Hey.

Well, hello, steve. Hello, mr. Looney.

Uh, that's loonéy. It's french.

Alfred here has Wonderful news.

Take it away, Alfred.

Carl, henriette--

That's harriette.

That's what I said.

Cupid has finally Unleashed his arrow,

And it's hit The bull's-eye Of my heart.

I'm betrothed!

Well, congratulations, Mr. Looney.

Uh, that's loonéy.

It's french. It's french. It's french.

Well, you must Be thrilled.

Oh, I am. It's written All over my face.

So who's The lucky lady?

Sharon.

What's her last name?

Gee, I don't know.

I'll have to remember To ask her.

Tell how You met her.

Oh, it's So romantic.

Well, a couple Of weeks ago,

I was behind her At the supermarket

In the 10-items-or-less line

And I noticed She had 11 items,

So I offered To take her dress shields.

Then we got to talking

And found We have a lot in common.

Do you like The same kind Of restaurants?

Restaurants. Okay.

Well, is she A looker, alfred?

Uh, let me just say,

Vah, vah, vavoom.

Well, uh, have you Made any plans?

Oh, yes.

I've asked steve To be my best man.

And I'll be The bestest Best man ever.

And, carl,

I'd like you To give me away.

Well, you usually Give away the bride.

Oh. Well, then, How about you pay For the wedding?

How about I just Be an usher?

Deal.

Cheap, isn't he, Marriette?

That's, uh, Harriette.

That's what I said.

* I'm getting married In the morning *

* ding-dong, The bells are gonna chime *

* girls, come and kiss me *

* show how You'll miss me *

* but get me To the church *

* get me to the church *

* for pete's sake, Get me to the church *

* on *

* time **

Girls, not only Are we going to see seal,

But we've got Great seats.

Yes. 11th row center.

Gee, I wonder If he'll notice me.

Of course. You'll be Sitting next to me.

Well, I'd like to Thank you seal-pups For inviting me along.

Myra, you don't Have to thank us.

I didn't think So either,

But steven Insisted.

He and I decided We both need to Start fostering

Same-sex Friendships.

Okay...

We'll go in my car.

Don't forget, We're staying overnight.

Who wants to drive Back from toledo The same night?

Besides, we'll be too Tired from screaming,

"I love you, seal."

Sure it's cool With your folks If you stay overnight?

I'm sure it won't Be a problem.

I'll call you later.

Bye, y'all.

Seal is the sexiest man In the world.

Uh...Second sexiest.

You forgot About steven.

Okay...

See you later, Laura.

Bye, Everyone.

Bye.

Oh, hi, mrs. Winslow.

Hi, sweetie. Bye-bye.

Mom, I've got The greatest News in the world.

You're going To cook dinner

For the rest Of my life.

Close. We got tickets To see seal!

That's wonderful! That's terrific! I'm happy for you.

Who's seal?

You know. Seal.

Just picture a thinner Luther vandross.

Ooh. I got you now.

And don't worry. After the concert,

We'll be back The next morning.

The next morning?

You're staying Overnight?

Uh-huh. The concert's In toledo.

Oh. Well, that brings me To my next question.

What's that?

Are you crazy?

There's no way You're traveling To toledo

And staying overnight In some motel.

Why not?

Because it's too far.

Do you know How tough it was To get tickets?

Do you know How tough it was To get you to 16?

You'll have to wait Until walrus comes To chicago.

It's seal, ma!

Walrus, seal, porpoise. I don't care what Marine animal he is,

You're not going.

Man, this rafting trip Is going to be fun!

I'm not so sure.

My uncle got sent Up the river,

And he didn't like it One bit.

No, waldo.

That's prison.

Oh. That explains it.

I thought 4665 Was his nickname.

Hey.

Hey, mom.

Hi, baby. How are you?

Hi, waldo.

Hey, guys.

What's shaking?

That's kind of personal, Don't you think?

Actually, we're planning Our four-day river-rafting Trip in canada.

Oh. I envy you two.

You guys are going To have a great time.

We invited Some buddies along.

Oh, yeah? Who?

Just a few Of the guys.

You don't really Know them.

Hold it.

You're letting eddie Go all the way to canada

With guys you don't know,

But I can't go to toledo Overnight with friends You know?

Waldo, I think We better go.

It's getting ugly In here.

They're your parents. Show some respect.

This isn't fair. Why are you treating me Differently?

Is it because Eddie's older?

Well, that's Part of it.

You can't Possibly be saying He's more mature.

He still blows Spit bubbles!

Well, It's just that...

Go ahead, carl, You tell her.

Well, honey, there's Nothing left to do

But just say it.

It's because eddie's a boy And you're a girl.

What?

I cannot believe I heard those words

From my own father. Can you, mom?

Well, Actually, honey, I agree with him.

I don't believe this.

Well, sweetheart, It's not that we Don't trust you.

But there are a lot Of kooks, crazies, And weirdoes out there

Who are ready To take advantage Of young girls.

Honey, your Father's right.

Whatever happened to, I could do anything,

I could be anything?

Being a girl shouldn't Stop me from becoming Whatever I want?

W-well, All that's true.

Yeah! Yeah! It just comes later.

I'm sorry I wasn't a boy, mom.

It would've made things A lot easier.

Oh, sweetheart--

Well, alfred,

Today's the big day.

You look cool As a cucumber.

Aren't you nervous?

No way. You want to feel

How dry My armpits are?

Well, I think We'll save that honor

For the bride.

Yeah. You got to save Something for the honeymoon.

Wuh-wuh-huh-huh.

Hello, reverend.

Hello. Hello.

Are we ready to begin?

Let her rip.

[feedback squeals]

Testing. Testing. 1, 2, 3.

Testing. Testing--

Give me that.

Okay.

[wedding march plays]

Sharon?

Stan?

I had no idea You were the bride.

Boy...

You dropped some Serious weight.

You look great, too.

Have you been working out?

A little.

Why didn't you Ever call?

I tried, but your phone Was disconnected.

I moved. I sent a card.

I never got it.

Want to go get A cup of coffee?

Well, I'm, uh...

I'm kind of In the middle Of something.

But, uh...

Oh, but why not?

Whoa.

That's why I love her So much.

She's so spontaneous.

Poor alfred!

Dumped at the altar.

He's got to be Heartbroken...

Devastated...

Beyond emotional repair.

Oh, steve.

Look, mr. Looney--

It's loonéy.

It's french.

He's upset now, But in time

His wounds will heal.

Oh, my.

Oh, my, my, My, my.

What's wrong?

The groom's On the steeple.

I'm going to call 911.

He's what?

He says He's going to jump.

He's what?

He says He's going to jump!

Alfred, what in sam hill Are you doing up here?

My bride-to-be Just dumped me,

And I'm a little distraught.

Oh!

Mr. Looney, please!

That's loonéy.

Look, why don't we Go get some coffee?

Ohh.

That's what sharon Is doing with that hunk!

I meant tea! Let's go get some tea!

I'm not going anywhere Except...

Steve, let me Get by you.

Wait. Okay wait.

Alright.

Okay alright.

Ah! Oh, god.

Alright. Okay.

Alright.

Now, listen,

You can't end it all.

You've got To keep going.

You never know What tomorrow holds.

So, tomorrow could actually Be worse than today.

Boy, he's sharp.

Ah! Ah!

[babbling]

Oh! Alright. Okay wait.

Uh...Uh...Uh.

Can we please Talk about this

On solid ground?

There's nothing To talk about.

[mechanism starts]

[dong]

Aah!

Ooh, uh-oh.

Ooh...Ooh...Ooh.

Okay. Okay.

Ah! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Okay okay

Stay back, steve!

Watch it!

Yeow!

Steve!

Ah!

Steve!

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Steve! Steve, wait!

Wait! Wait! Wait! Steve!

Aah!

Aah!

Whoa!

Wait. Wait. Wait. Ah!

Oh, god!

Ah! Ah!

Turn off the bell!

Uh, you better Help him.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Ah!

Ah. Ah. Ah. Okay

Oh! Ah!

And you two Came to save me.

Alfred, alfred, Help us. Help us!

I don't want to fall.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Aah!

Steve!

Whoo! Whoo! Wedgie alert! Wedgie alert!

Wedgie alert. Ooh! Wedgie!

Okay oh! Alright. My nose!

My nose! Ooh.

I'm going to jump To the ledge.

Be careful, steve.

Alright, carl. Alright.

Alright.

You can do it.

I'm going to jump On 3. 1...

2...

Ohh.

3!

Are you guys okay?

Y-y-yeah.

Yeah. We're fine.

You guys risked Your own life

To keep me From ending mine.

The least I can do Is care enough

To go on with my life.

And, just like you said,

Who knows what Tomorrow will bring?

Everything okay Up here, lieutenant?

Oh. Yeah. Everything's fine, Officer.

Beth?

Alfred!

Are you living In chicago?

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Yeah.

I moved back From philadelphia Last year.

God! It's good To see you.

You look great In that uniform.

You don't think It makes me look A little masculine?

Not with a bod Like that.

Care to join me For a cup of coffee?

I'd love to.

Okay

Wah! Ah!

Hi, laura.

Mother.

Laura, honey, I'd like to Talk to you.

Sure. You have a list Of more fun things

I'm not allowed to do?

Listen, honey,

I talked it over With your father,

And we were being unfair Letting eddie go to canada

And not letting you Go to toledo.

We're sorry.

So...Can I go?

No. We're not letting Eddie go to canada.

I'm just teasing. You can go.

Oh! Thank you, ma. Thank you.

You know,

I used to think I was A liberated woman,

But sometimes I still Think like my parents.

I think it's time I dragged myself Into the 20th century.

That's great, seeing as how It's almost over.

Hey, wait. Wait. Wait.

You have to promise To take something With you.

What?

This cellular phone.

Keep it on you At all times.

You have trouble, Call us.

I promise I will.

Now, call me as soon As you get there,

Don't speak To strangers,

And most importantly,

Never use The public toilets! Never use The public toilets.

[telephone rings]

Hello? Hey, mom!

It's great. We're waiting For seal to come on. Yeah.

And you know what, ma?

Thanks for trusting me To take care of myself.

What? Okay hold on.

Max, my mom wants To talk to you.

Hi, mrs. Winslow.

What?

No. There's No boys with us.

Yes, I swear.

What?

Oh. Sure.

Hey, myra.

Myra, mrs. Winslow wants To talk to you.

Hello, myra monkhouse here.