Original subtitles

[sighs]

[yawns]

What the...

Hey, big guy. Ooh!

You're finally home.

I've been waiting Three hours for you.

What is this, Interview with A nerdy vampire?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

[snort]

No, sir.

Why, you're looking at The magnificent urkel.

Now,

You just Plant your glutes Somewhere...

And prepare To be amazed,

Betwixt, and bedazzled.

Oh.

There you are.

I really need The practice.

Now, I'll need A volunteer From the audience.

Ah! Here's one, Ladies and gentlemen.

Why, thank you very much, Kind sir.

Now, what's your name?

[growling] Carl.

Well, carl...

What you see here

Is your ordinary Metal bucket.

Into it I will place...

Eggs...

Milk...

And breadcrumbs.

Uh, steve--

Shush!

Not while I'm stirring.

Okay.

Oh, don't, steve-- Put that--

Inkitty, blinkitty, Slinkitty, winkitty,

Dinkitty, binkitty, Bibbity, boobity.

Steve--

Beebitty, beebitty, Weebitty, deebitty,

Eebitty, beebitty, Doobitty.

Steve--

Winkle, dinkle, dicky, Finkle, winkle, wicky,

Pinkle, winkle, linkle, Linkle--

Will you get on With it!

Abra-urkel-dabra!

Hey, steve, You really did it.

Well, half the credit Goes to you, kind sir.

You are a wonderful Volunteer.

Here's your hat back.

Whoo-hoo.

And for my next trick...

I'm going to... Disappear.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

Hey, girl.

Hey. Let's go to the mall.

I can't. I got A ton of homework.

I'll come with you. I want to get A new lipstick.

Be sure to try That new precious plum They've been advertising.

Oh. Oh, right.

Wear precious plum

For that passionate pucker.

[kissing sounds]

Hey, maxie poo.

Hi, wally pop. What's up?

I'm here for our date.

But it isn't till 8:00.

I know, But I got lonely.

Can I wait with you?

Sure. But we have to go To the mall first for lipstick.

I don't wear lipstick, But can I come anyway?

Bye, girl.

- bye, girl. - bye.

Yo, that jacket Is the bomb.

Thanks. I got it On sale at ferguson's.

Cool. Then you know Where to get another one.

What?

Give me that jacket.

I worked hard For this jacket. You can do the same.

Nah.

Me and work don't mix.

Apparently you have The same problem with soap.

[whistles]

If you don't Give it to me,

I'll rip it Off your back.

I don't think so.

Oh, I know so. Now, give it up.

I said give it up.

Get off me.

You askin' for it, girl.

- get it off of her. - get off me!

Help!

- get it off her. - get off of me!

Ooh, look at That bruise.

I thought you were A cheerleader, Not a halfback.

I'm sorry.

I was just trying To cheer you up.

I can't believe They did this.

Laura, I've told you A hundred times

That with Things like this, You do not resist.

You just Give those thugs What they want.

But that was My new leather jacket.

Forget the leather jacket.

There are millions Of leather jackets,

But only one of you.

Thank god it's only A bump on the head.

Do you know the girl?

Yeah. Her name's Toni procopio.

I know toni. She's tough.

Nobody messes With that girl.

She takes lunch money From the teachers.

Give me a description Of this toni.

Well, she's about 5'7", And she has dark hair.

She was wearing Black boots, jeans,

And my jacket.

I'll put out A bulletin on her.

We'll get her.

Laura! Laura! I'm here, sweetums!

Whoo!

Oh, I came As soon as I heard.

Oh, my darling.

My poor, poor darling.

Shall I comfort you And make your woes All better?

No, thank you.

That will only make My woes worse.

You just Tell your woes To wally walrus,

And he'll woo Your woes away.

I'm not in the mood, steve.

You just tell me What infidel Did this to you.

I don't care Who he is Or how big he is.

Why, I'll reach down His throat, rip out His pancreas,

And slap him In the face with it.

It was toni procopio.

Ooh, that mean girl?

Psst! Is the coast clear?

Well, there was some Early-morning fog,

But it looks like It's clearing up.

Not the weather.

Have you seen toni Or any of her friends?

No. Why? Are they Looking for me?

Just go stand out front And keep guard, Will you?

I'll be on channel 3.

Cool.

I'll be on 101.6.

Less talk, more music.

Steve, knock it off.

I'm fine.

They arrested toni Last night.

Yeah, but I heard She got out on bail.

But don't worry. I'll secure the area.

Aha!

What?

I found a nickel.

Alright.

It's all clear.

I spoke too soon.

You there!

- halt! - huh?

Where do you think You're going?

I'm going to The latin club meeting.

Oh, you are, are you?

Well...

[speaking latin]

[speaking latin]

Lucky guess.

Qui mundiales palmas Meruit en anno 1938?

I don't follow baseball.

Aha!

Up against the car.

Steve!

Quiet, honey. This is in your Best interest.

Now spread 'em.

What's this?

My potato chips.

His potato chips.

If you were going to bring,

You should have brought For everyone.

Now scram.

Did you see that?

Now, there's A potential felon

If I've ever seen one.

Oh, I feel safe now.

He might have Knocked me down And done my homework.

You goin' somewhere, Princess?

She sure is. She's goin' home, Girlie girl.

I don't think so.

You got my homegirl Busted.

And she deserved it. She stole my jacket.

That's tellin' 'em, Babycakes.

Aren't you ladies Going to be late For charm school?

Buzz off, You ugly Little slug.

Why, she said that Like she meant it.

Your face Should be registered As a lethal weapon.

I'm through talking.

Girl, you better Watch your back.

Well, I'm the one Who watches her back.

So you're gonna have to Come through me

And these fists of fire.

Ooh.

Watch out.

It's arnold Schwarzenerdy.

Come on, steve, Let's go.

Yeah. We don't Have to hang around These hoodlets.

Listen, you better not Testify against me,

Or you'll be Seeing us again.

- hey. - hey, girl.

Those are some Great-looking kicks.

Thanks. I had to babysit

The connolly twins 28 times

To pay for these.

Aren't you afraid Someone's going To rip you off?

Not unless they stupid.

What are you doing With that thing?

Protecting what's mine.

And if you had one, You'd probably still Have your jacket.

Well, see you later, laura.

Bye, girl.

[maxine] When did you Get that thing?

Oh, there you are, Funny lips.

You shouldn't Walk to your car Without my protection.

Look, I appreciate Your concern,

But I have to live My own life.

Is that why you didn't Tell your parents

About that hooligan Pulling a gun on you?

They're worried enough About me already.

- hey, laura, steve. - hey, bobby.

Hey, what's the skinny, bobster?

Well, I, uh, I heard about Laura's little problem.

What problem?

You know what I'm talking about.

Word's out that Toni and her friends, They're coming down on you.

You won't be safe Unless you're packing.

Packing? She's not going anywhere.

Come with me To bobby's stop 'n' shop.

[steve gasps]

Oh, my god!

Those are guns!

Keep your voice down.

[quietly] Oh, my god, those are guns.

Look at that. Oh, oh.

What's that, A bazooka?

No, it's a .357 magnum,

And it's way too big For the lady.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

It probably Won't tuck neatly Into her fanny pack.

Excuse me.

I am trying to earn money For law school.

Now, if you don't See anything you like,

Tell me what you want, And I'll get it,

And for a good price. Just ask josie.

Uh-uh. No way, bub.

No way in hades Is laura winslow Going to pack a pickle.

Steve, stay out of this.

Laura, you can't Possibly be interested.

I'm just looking.

Look, you've had A gun pulled on you.

You need to Protect yourself.

She's got me.

You need to Protect yourself.

Laura, you need A lightweight gun,

Something that will fit In your purse.

You want to hold it?

Alright.

How much is it?

No, laura, You can't do this.

I said no!

No, don't!

[gunshot]

[screaming]

Oh, she's been shot!

Oh, my god.

They wanted her shoes.

God, josie,

You should have Given them The stupid shoes.

Some-somebody call 911!

[crying]

Ohh...

Don't move her.

Well, laura finally Fell asleep.

Oh, carl.

I'm so glad Our baby's alright.

Me, too, sweetheart.

How's josie?

Her mom says She won't have Full use of her arm

For a long time.

Yeah, sweetheart.

As a cop, I deal with This kind of thing every day.

But it doesn't hit home Until it happens To your own child.

Laura is one of the most Level-headed kids I know.

I can't believe she was Thinking about buying a gun.

Imagine how frightened She had to be...

To even consider it?

You know, when I was In high school,

My biggest fear Was getting a pimple

The night before The prom.

Yeah, but, you know, Carl,

Kids have a lot more To worry about today.

Like whether the person That butts in front Of the lunch line

Is carrying a gun.

Hmm.

Josie's mom is Thinking about moving away.

But ain't nobody Driving me out of My home, carl.

Nobody.

That's not the answer.

It's happening Everywhere.

What are we Going to do, carl?

I don't know, baby.

But we're going To do something.

[rap music plays]

[music stops]

What's up? This is Marky-o on the radio,

And wbjh is in the house.

I'm coming to you live From the parking lot

Of vanderbilt high school.

That's where A young girl was shot Just a few days ago.

Listen up. We got Some folks down here

Who really need you To get involved.

They're asking you To save a life, Turn in your guns.

No questions asked, So get off your booty,

Support your community.

There's free grub Down here,

And I'll be jammin' All your favorites All afternoon.

[rap music]

I don't get it, dad.

I thought they usually Got a big response For these things.

Well, they usually Give things away.

We want people To realize this is The right thing to do.

Well, maybe I can help.

If there are any babes Who want to give up Their guns,

I'll give them a kiss.

We're trying To attract people,

Not scare them away.

[music plays]

* step right up And turn in your gun *

* the cops are here So you don't have to run *

* everybody knows That guns aren't cool *

* so turn in yours And don't be a fool *

* if you don't have a gun, Then turn in your knife *

* we'll take anything To save a life *

* ho **

[cheering]

So what's the deal?

I turn in a gun And you give me money?

No. No money.

Concert tickets?

[laura] No.

So what do I get?

You get your life.

[cheering]

I'm kellie shanygne Williams.

And I'm jaleel white.

Every day in america Children are killed With firearms.

Every day, Kids in this country Carry guns to class.

How many of you Know someone That carries a gun?

If you're aware Of a crime

That's being committed In your school, Don't just ignore it.

Act on it.

If you know Someone's carrying a gun Or selling a gun,

Tell someone.

Tell your parents, A teacher, Or a school counselor.

We have to do something About teen violence.

If you're in A confrontation, It's okay to walk away.

Yeah. Let's start saving lives.

So before guns even Come into the picture,

Squash it. Squash it.

Squash it. Squash it. Squash it.