Original subtitles

Well...

You look pretty good.

Thank you.

You look pretty good Yourself, too, handsome.

I'm hungry. Can I eat you?

Let me have some arm.

No, I need my arm. Don't do that.

Aww, you hurt me.

I'm gonna have some leg. Not my leg. I need to walk home.

Ow! Ow ow ow ow ow ow!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

How about your head?

Help me! Help me!

Help me!

Hi, steve. I was just Baking some cookies.

Don't feel bad.

The other day, I had a little Heart-to-heart

With a fig newton.

Hey, you need A baking buddy, Huh? Huh? Huh?

No, no, steve.

Thank you very much, But whenever you help me,

It turns into a disaster.

Oh, fa-la-la-fiddlesticks.

Ahh.

Uh, steve...

Shush.

Not while I'm rolling.

Oh, would you just do it!

Uh-uh.

A hasty cookie Is not a tasty cookie.

Needs more flour.

You want some help With that?

No-no-no-no.

I got it.

Hey...

You look A lot like casper The friendly ghost.

Get out.

I said "Friendly" ghost.

Get...

Out.

You know, It'll make you feel A lot better

If you dump some On me.

Go ahead. Here.

Just dump Right here.

Just dump some Right on me.

I'll show you how.

You just take it,

And you just dump Some right on me.

Uh-oh.

Whooooo!

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

I'm almost embarrassed To give this to goodwill.

Where did I ever get Such a ugly, hideous Piece of clothing?

It was a gift from me Two years ago.

I got laura's stuff.

I'm always doing Her dirty work.

Why isn't she here To lug it down herself?

She's shopping for Your christmas present.

Heh heh.

I love my sister.

Mm-hmm.

Goodwill...

Goodwill...

Trash.

Goodwill.

Hey, everybody, I finished My christmas list,

And I can't wait to Send it to santa.

That's wonderful.

I was able To keep the list

Under 100 items.

Uh, richie,

You know there's More to christmas

Than just Getting toys.

I know.

I got clothes On my list, too.

Uh, rich,

I think what your Mama's trying to say...

Well, christmas Should be the time

To celebrate the ings.

Ings?

Yes, the ings.

Giving, caring, Sharing, loving.

That's what christmas Should be about.

Yeah, sweetie.

We're lucky To have a nice, warm, Comfortable home.

Some people Aren't so lucky.

That's why we're donating these Things to goodwill.

So people less fortunate

Can have A happier christmas.

Boy, I'm just a selfish, Toy-grubbing slimeball.

Oh, no, you're not.

You're just A little boy,

And you're excited About christmas.

Hey, I like this Ing thing.

I'll donate Some toys.

You got toys You're tired of?

The ones I got Last christmas.

This thing's seen Better days.

See ya.

Ho-ho-ho.

Hey, steve, Merry christmas.

Right back at you with tinsel And cranberry sauce.

Hey, what you're wrapping?

My dad's present.

Just the money I owe him.

If you're gonna give him All the money you owe him

You're gonna need a bigger box.

You finish your Christmas shopping?

Are you kidding?

I finished in march.

But I can't For the life of me

Figure out What to get laura.

Why, I'm at My wit's end.

Well, don't Kill yourself.

Buy her a nice card.

Nah.

How about a fruitcake?

Land sakes, man.

This is the woman I love, Not the mailman.

I want to get her Something so special,

She'll feel as though I've touched her very heart.

Oh, and there she is now--

My precious Christmas angel.

Hey, steve. Eddie, have you seen emily?

Emily?

My favorite rag doll,

The one with The missing eye?

Wait a minute.

The one with The red dress?

Yeah.

Oh.

I'm sorry, laura,

But I threw her In the trash.

You what?

I thought you wanted To throw it away.

It was on the pile.

No, it was sitting Near the pile.

It was old and dirty.

And like you said, It had a missing eye.

That's because I had her Since I was 6.

I loved that doll, eddie.

How could you do Something like this?

I'm sorry. I was just Trying to help.

Thanks a lot, eddie.

You ruined my Whole christmas.

Hi, guys.

Hi. Hi, richie.

Howdy.

Uh...

Richie, who's your friend?

This is ben. I was playing outside, And he walked by.

You have a very nice house.

Thank you. Thank you.

Ben's homeless.

I invited him To live with us.

You what? You what? You what?

What's for dinner?

Richie, could you Come here for A minute, honey?

So, ben,

You're homeless?

Not anymore.

Uh, ben, Where you from?

You name it,

I've been there.

I've traveled the world,

And I've seen Wondrous things.

Ben, would you Like a sandwich?

If I said no, I'd be a liar.

Ha ha ha.

Come on. We've Got a kitchen Full of food.

Uh, uh, uh, uh, ben.

You go right ahead And help yourself.

Richie will Join you later.

Can I whip you Guys up something?

No, thanks. Nobody's hungry.

Well, I am.

Uh...

Rich...

Why did you Invite him here?

Ben's one of those people You were talking about.

Someone less fortunate.

He's had some bad luck.

You said we should Help people like that.

Well, richie, I'll tell you what.

He can have Christmas eve Dinner with us.

Then we'll find A shelter for him.

And help him Find a job.

But I'm sorry, rich.

He just can't live here.

Listen, when I'm done Chowing down,

I'll pay you back by waxing Your kitchen floor.

Well, maybe he can stay A day or two.

I'm with you.

Hmm...

Gadzooks!

Why, this place Goes on forever.

Oh, I'll never find Laura's doll.

I might as well try to find A needle in a haystack.

Hey...

A needle!

Ow!

Wow, mama!

The wind shifted.

[fly buzzing]

Gotcha!

Hey!

A doggy.

Hello there. Steven q. Urkel here.

Who might you be?

[woof woof]

Howard. Well...

Pleased to Meet you, howard.

And merry christmas.

Do you belong to someone?

Ohh.

How sad.

Well...

I'd love to sit And chat a spell,

But I've got trash To bash.

[woof woof]

I'm looking For laura's doll.

My best bud, eddo, Accidentally Threw it away.

[woof woof]

It's a rag doll In a red dress, Missing one eye.

Exactly.

Have you seen it?

You're not A retriever, Are you, howard?

Oh, neato.

A pen.

Oh, and it writes. This is a keeper.

Ohh.

Bikini babes magazine?

Oh, that's disgusting!

Ohh.

[woof woof]

Woo!

* here comes santa claus *

* here comes santa claus *

* right down Santa claus lane **

[scatting]

Hi there, ben.

My, my, my.

You have been busy.

I wanted to pay you back For your hospitality.

I pulled a few strings,

And I got you into A halfway house.

That's very nice of you.

But first, we'd Like you to stay

To enjoy a nice Christmas eve dinner.

Sorry, guy. No can do.

I have to leave After I finish ironing This tablecloth.

Uh, ben, those Are my shorts.

Oh. Sorry. Well, I'm off.

I've got to get ready for my Busiest night of the year.

Ben, you don't have to Panhandle anymore.

I got a line On a job for you.

It's not necessary. I got a lot of homes to hit.

Uh...

Ben...Ben...

You know, Breaking and entering

Won't solve your problems.

Heh heh heh.

No, no.

I just don't want To disappoint All the children.

The children?

Yeah. They want Their toys.

I've got to get To the north pole

And see how The elves are doing.

Yeah.

Um...

Uh...

Ben...

Are you saying that...

You're santa claus?

Shush. Shush.

It's our secret.

Yeah, yeah.

But if you're Santa claus, ben,

Why are you homeless?

That's part Of my plan.

Your plan?

You see, christmas has become So darn commercial.

I wanted to Find a family

That embodied The true spirit Of christmas.

And I found that Family here, carl.

Well...

Thank you, ben.

Don't worry.

I'll be back while You're sleeping.

And I'll be sure To put the fire out In the fireplace.

Thanks. So many People forget.

Uh-huh.

You think I'm nuts, Don't you?

Oh, no, no, no.

You're right, ben.

Christmas has become Very commercial.

I was just discussing that The other day

With the easter bunny.

I understand.

You're still ticked off

About christmas morning 1958, aren't you?

What are you talking about?

I got your five letters Asking for the

Commander crash dive Space helmet.

Wha--

That was one of our Hottest items that year.

I just ran out, carl.

I felt bad about it Ever since.

But you...

I'm sorry.

Merry christmas.

But you...

But you...

But...

How did he know that?

Oh, come on, honey.

Cheer up. It's christmas morning.

I know.

But remember, mom, I got emily on A christmas morning.

Man, these are beautiful.

What a great present.

You're gonna Love these, grandma.

I'm gonna be The fastest snow bunny On the slopes.

Merry christmas.

Hey, waldo.

Hi, waldo. Merry christmas.

Hi, everybody.

I can't stay long. I have to get To my family's house

To watch dad Light the fireworks.

Fireworks are for july 4th.

Yeah, right.

And I suppose turkeys Are for thanksgiving.

Merry christmas, Eddie.

Oh, thanks.

Wow.

Waldo, these are Really nice,

But I already have The same pajamas.

I wanted to Get you something I knew you'd like.

Merry christmas, steve.

M-m-m-merry christmas, everyone.

Steve, what happened?

N-n-n-nothing.

I was doing some Last-minute shopping.

M-m-merry christmas, Laura.

Emily!

Steve, how did you Ever find her?

I went down To the dump.

I lucked out.

It only took me 16 hours.

Steve, you did that For me?

Of course.

I love you.

Steve, I thought this Doll was gone forever.

This is the best present You've ever given me.

How can I ever Thank you?

Well, you can...

Hey, there's A present left.

It's for uncle carl.

Ow!

Carl!

I love christmas.

Hey! "To carl from santa."

Now, that's cute.

Ohh.

A commander crash dive Space helmet!

Wow!

That thing's A collector's item.

Wow!

Thanks, mom.

I didn't give you that.

Harriette?

Don't look at me.

Rachel.

It definitely Wasn't me.

I wouldn't spend That much on you.

Well, who was it from?

Must be from santa.

Thanks, ben.

Come on, everybody.

I'm gonna fix A christmas breakfast

You'll never forget.

Alright! Breakfast for nine Coming right up.

Uh, could you Make it 10?

You know, it's christmas day For dogs, too.

From all of us here At "Family matters"

To all of you out there

Happy holidays! Happy holidays!

And remember, Fireworks can Be dangerous.

* we wish you A merry christmas *

* we wish you A merry christmas *

* we wish you A merry christmas *

* and a happy new year *

* we wish you A merry christmas *

* we wish you A merry christmas *

* we wish you A merry christmas *

* and a happy new year *

* good tidings we bring *

* to you and your kin *

* good tidings For christmas *

* and a happy new year *

* we wish you A merry christmas *

* we wish you A merry christmas *

* we wish you A merry christmas *

* and a happy new year **

[woof woof]