Original subtitles

[doorbell rings]

Whoa!

What's the matter, Mrs. Winslow,

Is my bra strap showing?

What isn't showing?

Come on in.

Is laura ready For the party?

Yeah. Hold on.

Laura!

Maxine's here!

Coming!

Ooh, that's a great dress.

Can I borrow it sometime?

Sure.

After I'm dead.

Well, bye, mrs. Winslow.

Oh, ma?

Hmm?

Can I stay out Past curfew?

Well, let me think.

No.

Maa.

Why must We go through this

Every time You go out?

The party really doesn't Get started until 11:00.

But your curfew's at 12:00, Not a minute later.

So party hearty for an hour.

Besides, I'll bet you

Maxine doesn't stay out Past her curfew.

I don't have a curfew.

I don't care What maxine does.

She's not my daughter.

You are, and you're not Staying out past curfew.

End of story.

I saw that, Young lady.

[sighs]

Wow...

She is good.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these Gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

Thanks for the sandwich, maa. Sure, honey.

Since you moved out it seems the Only time we see you is

When you come over for food or To get your laundry done.

That's not true, just yesterday I came by to borrow money.

Oh, I got it, maa.

You know I come By more often

But college is a lot harder Than I thought.

Actually I have to study.

Bye, maa. Bye, baby.

Hey, dad. Hey, son

Food, laundry or money? Food.

Harriette, Is everything all set?

What are you Talking about?

Tonight, my new boss Captain savage

Is coming for dinner.

Oh, honey, just relax.

Dinner's on the stove. Everything is set.

Maybe you should Go upstairs And get dressed.

I am dressed.

And you look fantastic.

I'm sorry. I'm just a little Nervous tonight.

This dinner Could be my ticket To a big promotion.

Honey, just relax.

Everything's Going to be fine.

Yeah. You're right.

I guess I should just Relax and enjoy it.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, my god, he's here.

He's--he's here.

Alright, he's here.

He's here.

Okay, okay, alright.

Well, captain, welcome To my humble abode.

Heh heh heh.

I could See it better inside.

Oh, yes, yes. Please, come inside.

Come inside.

Heh heh heh.

Well...

Nice digs, winslow.

Thank you, captain.

You're not on The take, are you?

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Sir, may I say

That I cannot tell you What a treat it is--

No, make that an honor--

No, no. Make that A privilege it is

To have you join us For dinner?

Winslow, You're sucking up.

Sorry, sir.

Don't be.

I like A good sucker-upper.

Oh, oh.

Harriette, heh heh,

This is, uh...

Captain savage.

Captain savage, this is My lovely wife harriette.

How do you do?

Hello, uh, savage?

Yes, savage.

Suits me, don't you think?

After all, I'm the roughest, Toughest cop on the force,

But please call me By my first name...

What's that?

Marion.

You're very pretty.

You must have married carl When he was handsome.

Ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Uh, yes, I did.

Ha ha ha!

Please, uh, Have a seat.

Here.

I brought you two a gift--

Brazilian gorgonzola.

Oh, he brought us Cheese.

We love cheese.

Hey, what can I say? I'm considerate that way.

So, captain savage, Is there a mrs. Savage?

No way!

I couldn't settle down.

I'd disappoint Too many women.

Ha ha ha!

Ow.

Nope.

I'm single By popular demand.

I have three passions In life--

Women, work, and golf.

Golf--the sport Of kings...

And captains.

You play golf, winslow?

Do I play golf?

Do I play golf?

Everybody in the room Who plays golf,

Raise your hands.

Go on, harriette, Tell him how much I play golf.

Oh, yes. He plays golf Like I've never seen.

Oh.

If you two Will excuse me,

I'll go back here And check on dinner.

Yeah.

Ha ha ha.

Yeah.

Ahh...

So, winslow...

Let's take in 18 holes Of golf tomorrow.

Oh, gee, sir, I don't know.

I'm--I'm having My putter...

Reputted.

Oh, nonsense. I'll pick you up at 8:00.

I'll be waiting outside At 7:00.

Ha ha ha!

All this talking about golf Has made me thirsty.

Who do I have to promote To get a drink?

Promote?

Well, that Would be me, sir.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah.

Ha ha ha!

Do I smell...

[sniffing]

Cheese?

Ah, yes...

Cheese.

Aha!

Brazilian gorgonzola.

Unbelievable!

I pay homage To good fromage.

It's a pleasure to meet Fellow cheese lovers.

Are you a chicago Cheese club member?

Why, card carrying.

Nothing puts me In the mooda

Better than A hunk o' gouda.

Tweedledum, tweedledee,

I'm stylin' When I have my brie.

Parmesan, romano, Muenster and swiss,

Cheese lovers Shake hands just like this.

Crackers!

Sir, I didn't know what You wanted to drink,

So I brought you... Steve.

You didn't bring me. I brought myself.

Winslow, you didn't tell me You have a friend

Who's a fellow brother Of the cheese.

It slipped My mind, sir.

I like the cut Of his jib.

It's an unusually shaped jib, But I like it the same.

You do, sir? Heh heh.

Well, we're always happy To see steve drop by.

Ha ha ha.

Well, good. Why doesn't he Join us for golf tomorrow?

Oh, I'd love to.

Oh, we don't-- I don't--

I insist.

Dinner's ready.

Hey, kid, want to stay For dinner?

Sure, cappy.

So, tell me, have you Ever tried gouda swirl?

Try it?

Why, I make it.

[sobbing]

I cannot believe You showed up At the party...

And looking Like that?

Trust me, young lady,

What I look like Is the least Of your worries.

How could you do this To me, ma?

You know you were Supposed to be home By midnight.

I told you. I lost track of time.

Why are you freaking out Like this?

Because we have rules, Laura.

As long as you're living Under my roof,

You better abide By them.

Mom, do you Have any idea

How humiliated I was tonight?

Everyone Was staring.

This wouldn't have Happened if you had Come home on time.

This wouldn't Have happened

If you stopped Treating me Like a child.

Treating you Like a child?

I'll stop treating you Like a child

When you stop Acting like a child.

Go to bed. You're grounded For a month.

I'll never forgive you For this, ma.

Never.

Heh heh heh.

Ahh.

Ah!

Boy.

Nothing like Starting a day

With a good Hearty breakfast.

Thanks for treating, Winslow.

Hey, my pleasure, sir,

Especially since you Forgot your wallet.

Don't you just hate When that happens?

I sure do.

Yoo-hoody-hoo!

Big guy! Marion!

Hi, guys--

Oop.

That should do her.

Alright, Let's hit the links.

Why not? You've hit Everything else.

Fiddlesticks!

You guys don't Mind if I take A mulligan, do you?

No, sir. We insist.

Ha!

That's more like it.

Heh heh heh.

Boy, I really Whacked that one.

Heh heh.

Hey, steve, Can you see my ball?

Oh, abso-tootle-lutely.

Well, where is it?

Practice swing.

Uh-uh. That's one.

Heh heh heh!

Heh heh. Nice shot.

Why don't you just Pick it up and throw it?

You're up, kid.

Oh, goody gumdrops.

Ha ha ha!

He's a great kid, Isn't he?

Oh, yeah, He's a great kid.

Oh, would you please Just hit the ball?

Well, if you're going To rush me...

Duck!

Where? Oh!

Oh!

Can I have a do-over?

Why, you want to Finish me off?

So you want to go on To chapter 12?

We don't have to.

You still mad At your mom?

What do you think?

I'll never live down What she did to me.

What did she do That was so bad?

You were there.

She had the nerve To yank me Out of the party.

On top of that, She wore curlers And a robe.

Someday that'll be A funny story.

Not soon, though.

You are so lucky, max.

Your mother never butts Into your life.

Laura...

You have no idea How lucky you are.

I got home at 3 a.M.

You know Who was waiting up on me?

Who?

No one.

No one was worrying About me

Or asking Why I was so late.

No one cared, laura.

No one cared at all.

So instead Of complaining so much

About how mean Your mother is,

You should appreciate The fact

That she cares About you.

'cause you know what?

I would Trade places with you In a hot second.

It's your putt, Marion.

This place Is like a jungle.

Don't they ever Mow this grass?

Carl, have you noticed

That marion has been Augmenting his luck All day?

Oh, yeah, I've noticed.

What are you Going to do?

Exactly what I've been doing--

Absolutely nothing.

But cheating's wrong.

Steve, who is he hurting?

I mean look, steve, if you want To get ahead in life,

Sometimes you just Got to play along.

Well, I can understand Some butt-kissing At the dinner table,

But this is revolting.

Now, you've abandoned Every shred of dignity.

Listen, steve--

Hey, hey, hey.

It's up to you.

Handle it the way You see fit.

You're the one that's got To live with yourself.

Oops! Hey, it's closer Than I thought.

Heh heh heh heh.

Uh, sir, um...

I believe that you Kicked your ball

Closer to the hole.

I did?

Well, yes, sir.

Actually, you know,

Your ball has moved Several times today

Without the club Even touching it.

What are you saying, Winslow?

Well, sir, I'm saying that--

Well, that you're Cheating, sir.

I'm what?

Cheating, sir.

And I believe that That's wrong.

Sir, we're cops. We're the good guys.

We are supposed to do What's right,

And we have A teenager with us.

Hey, if we don't do What's right,

How can we expect The kids to do What's right?

I have been a golfer For 20 years,

And no one has ever Called me a cheater!

And I'm your Superior officer.

I could bust you down To beat cop so fast

It'll make your head swim.

I know, sir.

And you're still Standing up to me?

Yes, sir.

I like that.

We need more honest cops With enough guts

To tell their bosses When they're wrong.

Well, thank you, Sir.

Do it again And you're fired!

Yes, sir.

Laura...

Yes?

You want to talk?

I'd like that.

Mom, I messed up Big time.

I'm so sorry I stayed out late.

You are?

Yeah.

I know why You came and got me.

You were worried About me, right?

Yes, I was.

It's just that When you showed up

Sporting Those curlers...

I wanted to die.

I don't blame you.

It's just that It was after 1:00,

And I didn't know If you were still At the party

Or hurt somewhere.

I didn't think about Changing my clothes.

I just wanted to know That you were alright.

Well, if I had a 16-year-old

And I didn't know Where she was at 1 a.M.,

I probably Would have done The same thing.

Laura, are you Growing up?

Maybe.

I think so.

I'll talk to your father And see how he feels

About extending Your curfew to...

12:30.

Thanks, ma.

How about 12:45?

Don't push it.