Original subtitles

Uh, are you sure this is it?

Yeah, like, tell us.

It just... just really strikes me as a superhero house.

Right. As opposed to that roach -infested dump that you and Firecrowge

Dude, can you not... Yeah, this is definitely the place.

Yeah.

Now let's go get her, Tiger.

Come on.

Hey Monica, or should I call you Photon?

Yeah, I'm not falling for that one. I thought Captain Marvel would reflect.

Oh, that's so good.

Actually, I go by Spectrum now.

Spectrum? You think you could get me a discount on my internet?

Whoa.

Hey, you might want to be nice to her.

She's the one that can actually help you.

Bitch! I'm not helping you two motherfuckers do shit.

I'm going on a sabbatical. A sabbatical?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Look, just hear us out. It's for a really good cause.

Pretty, pretty please?

With a cherry on top?

Yeah.

Great, Annie.

You gotta be shitting me.

I have no way of fucking knowing.

I mean, to be perfectly honest, she was on fire. I mean, she went ballistic when

I said, no more.

Wade. Sorry, I know.

Love her.

Seriously, what are you, like 16?

You know, 16 was a very hard age for me.

My hormones were raging, my body was blossoming.

I felt trapped, like a hyena in heat, unable to release these lusty thoughts

that constantly threatened to erupt from within myself.

At night, I wake up with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running

through the middle of my head.

When I was 16, I had acne and played the accordion in the marching band.

Yeah.

Yeah, I can see that.

So let me get this straight.

You guys want to go back in time before this fool intercourses with your

girlfriend? She's actually my fiancée.

Aw, that's cute.

Didn't come to the wedding.

Well,

I'm afraid time travel is just out of the scope of my power.

I can't do it.

But I know someone who can.

You better have a good fucking reason for calling me here.

Well, it's kind of like a charity case.

What?

Sugar tits!

Oh, fuck.

Well, hello, Steven.

By the wondrous wands of Watoom, Carol.

Have you gone mad?

I have a doorbell.

And a front door for crying out loud.

Well, you know me. I like to make an entrance.

Okay, that was like totally dope.

Actually, I think you missed.

Tiny little spot there right in the corner.

But yeah, yeah.

Totally dope.

Boys?

Meet Dr. Stephen Strange.

Wait. You're the Steve Strange?

Like from Visage?

of the Tread Dormammu, no.

I'm a world -renowned neurosurgeon turned Sorcerer Supreme and Master of

Mystic Arts. Wait, you're a surgeon?

Do you know how to treat a natal prolapse?

What are you doing?

I'm just trying to help Underoos back here.

He needs to go back in time and fix something bad.

Carol, you of all people know there are consequences to messing with time.

They can go terribly wrong.

I know, I know.

But this is a situation of like life or death.

Who died?

Nobody.

He just needs to go back in time and unfuck his girlfriend.

Are you serious?

Dead serious.

Come on, Steven.

That's a little spell.

Be a good boy.

Now call upon me any of the 12 moons of Moon of War.

12 moons?

Serious?

How about 13?

Stop tampering with the spell!

Sorry.

Get out of the doodle.

You take it now, a noodle.

Jesus, were you 12?

No, actually, I'm 18.

And I can vent.

Stop!

Did it work?

I... I don't know.

But he could be in any one of 14 ,605 ,000 realities.

Hey, uh, Doc?

Shouldn't you have sent me back, too?

You kind of cut it back to undo something I did.

I know you're like a wizard and all, but it really just doesn't make it.

Thank you.

So, Carol, tell me why you're really here.

What do you mean?

I just wanted to...

You wanted to turn back time. You could have just flown around the world

backwards at FTL speed like you did in Captain Marvel XXX.

Yeah, that is true.

But you can only pull the same bullshit off so many times until people start to

realize it just doesn't make any scientific sense.

Well said.

And if I'm being absolutely honest, I just wanted an

excuse to come see you.

affected as much.

Ever since our night at the bar, I just haven't been able to stop thinking about

you.

I thought you said that that night was the mistake.

What can I say?

You've got the magic touch.

Are you going to lose this cape or keep it on the whole time?

Maybe you can levitate for me.

No, I can tell it to go.

Maybe you should.

It can almost be like the night at the bar.

It's marvelous.

It just doesn't make it comfortable in your library here.

Bye -bye.

What is that?

I'm going to

use your library.

I don't like that. I don't like that.

Yeah.

that you meant.

Do you want to put your cock back in there?

Yes.

Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Thanks, Steven.

Thank you.

It's as good as before.

Still tastes good.