Original subtitles

(gentle music)

(dramatic music)

(upbeat music)

- Last week Cardiff, the week before Newcastle.

Six months now they've been getting away with it.

And what have you discovered? Nothing.

- We've proved it's the work of one gang, sir.

- The "Daily Sun" doesn't seem to think so.

- Of course, sir, if you prefer to back the judgement

of a pack of news hawks to our-

- No, no, no. I'm not saying that.

We've got to face facts.

These "Sun" reporters are always discovering slush

one town ahead of us.

- Yes, I know sir.

- Well for heaven's sake get busy.

They're making a Iaughing stock of us

and l won't have my police organisation laughed at

by the "Daily Sun" or any other newspaper.

- How can l set this up if I can't read a word of it?

Who made these filthy marks?

- Not me, sir.

- Couldn't say, sir.

- Well somebody must have.

- Well, you better ask George Gullip.

- Gullip?

- Yes, he thinks he's Sherlock Holmes

and Sexton Blake rolled into one.

He'II find out anything.

- Gullip!

- Yes, sir?

- Oi!

- Beg your pardon.

Yes, sir?

- So you're a bit of a detective, eh, Gullip?

- Well you see sir with my new-

- See those marks?

- Oh, yes, sir.

- Show me who did them and you can pack up a puarter

of an hour earlier tonight.

- Well, it's elementary, my dear Watson.

- What?

- Look, another one.

- So it is.

- Look. There's another one.

Look.

Another one.

Look, there's another one.

Look, there's another one.

Look, the criminal.

- Where?

- There.

- What's the idea?

- Well, look.

You can see the ink mark on pussy's feet.

- That's right, so you can.

But how did he get the ink on his feet in the first place?

- L put it on.

- You put it on?

- Yes, you see, with my patent crime detector-

- Then you can take that to Mr. Brady and tell him

why I can't read it.

(George stuttering)

Mr. Brady, quick.

- What the devil do you want?

- Well, it's about your copy sir.

- Well, what about it?

- Well, I've invented a sort of detector which-

- AII right, now wait here.

Wait here.

- [Redhill] Ah.

- Yes, sir?

- What's the meaning of all this sludge business?

- SIush sir, not sludge.

- This counterfeit money business.

Who told you to run it on the front page?

- It's a great stunt.

- Nonsense. No public appeal.

- But thousands of our readers-

- You heard what l said?

- L did .

- [Redhill] Hey, I haven't finished with you yet.

- Very good , sir.

Tell my secretary to cancel that slush copy.

- [Redhill] Come here Brady.

- Coming sir.

Cancel, slush.

Go on.

- Hey look out. Look what you're doing.

- Hey, what's the idea?

- L'm just gonna see Miss. Brown.

- Well, don't practise on me.

- But Professor Ashton, you can't do that.

It's one of the most popular features in the paper.

Oh, all right, l'II tell Mr. Brady.

Hello.

- Miss. Brown, Mr. Brady said you had to cancel

the slush copy.

- Oh, did he?

- And there's this.

- Oh yes, that's about slush too.

Well that won't be needed either.

- Ooh, thank goodness for that.

- What are all these marks on it?

- Oh, that's from my detector.

- Detector?

- Yes. Look, if they'd let me use it

I'd soon catch the slushers for them.

- You would?

- Yes, well you see, through working in the printing shop

we get to know puite a Iot about the inks

and l've been mixing them up a bit

and this is the solution I got that won't come off.

- Go on.

- Yes, well when I say that it comes off on your finger

all right and it comes off on anything that you touch

with your finger but it stays on your fingers just the same.

- Do you mind saying that again, very slowly, please?

- Well, I'll show you .

You see, this is the ink I mixed.

Now I'll put a bit on your finger and you'll see.

- Now go on, mark something.

See, Ieaves a mark.

- Well, of course.

- Now you try and get it off your finger.

- It won't come off.

- Course it won't, and it'II stay there for a whole week.

- What?

- And I'll know everything you've been doing

by the marks you Ieave.

- Well I don't think that's very funny.

- No, no, l didn't mean it that way.

Look, I've got a special bottle

of antimacassar that'II bring it off.

I mean, I wouldn't do it to you Miss. Brown,

only do it to slushers and these mark slushers, you see.

- What the devil are you doing here?

- L was explaining to Miss. Brown-

- Well get out.

Have you finished that typing yet?

- Nearly.

- Now come on, hurry up.

Take those things off my desk.

- L'm being as puick as I can, sir.

Thank you, sir.

Good night, Miss. Brown.

- Get out!

It'd be a lot easier for everyone if Lord RedhilI

kept to his own job of owning the paper

instead of trying to run it.

The noise of that typewriter's driving me crackers.

Everyone else in the building has one of the silent ones,

why haven't l?

- L'm sorry, Mr. Brady, but the stores made a mistake.

You see, they issued the Iast silent one-

- Then stores had better put it right.

Take that one back.

- [Mary] Very good , Mr. Brady.

- Cancel that slush Ieader.

- Yes.

Oh, and Professor Ashton phoned up.

He's had to dash of to examine

a prehistoric skull or something.

He won't be able to get his copy through in time.

- He can't do that, his daily horoscope's read by thousands.

- Yes, I know.

- You'II have to vamp it up yourself.

- Yes, but that's impossible-

- Well someone's got to do it.

His blinking Iordship's in a bad enough temper as it is.

- Very good , Mr. Brady.

- Yes, sir?

- Give this to the head storekeeper.

- Yes, sir.

- Oh, hello, can I help you?

- Oh, thanks.

I'm taking it to the store room.

- L'II wait here for you , Romeo.

- Yeah.

I was wondering if you'd come out and have a drink with us?

- Oh, I'm sorry l can't.

Mr. Brady has given me some extra work to do.

Mr. Brady insists on having one of those silent ones.

- L'II do my best, Miss.

- Thank you.

Good night.

- Good night.

I was wondering if I could be of any help, l don't suppose?

- Do you know anything about horoscopes?

- Not much, but I can try.

- AII right then, two heads are always better

than one, aren't they?

- Course.

- However empty.

- Yes.

- It's along here.

Beats me how you work this thing.

- Ooh, I wish this was real and I was following up a murder.

Ooh, tried to bite me.

- Tell you what, we'd better pick some

out of the back numbers and trust to luck.

What's that?

- This is a cover for my disguises.

I'II show ya.

King of norway.

The other way.

- And I always thought you were a keen musician.

- Well, I am.

- AII right then, you play something while l get on

with the horoscope.

- AII right, and I might be able to help.

7 I can read the future ♪

♪ And tell if fate's unkind ♪

♪ The stars l've read ♪

♪ I look ahead ♪

♪ And this is what I find ♪

♪ CIimbing Iast week ♪

♪ A big mountain peak ♪

♪ I slipped down a rocky slope ♪

♪ I cried as I fell ♪

♪ I'm on my way to bed ♪

♪ I can tell it by me horoscope ♪

♪ My brother Joe ♪

♪ Pulled a wishbone with FIo ♪

♪ And said, "For the best Iet's hope" ♪

♪ Then he whispered, "Ooh ♪

♪ Me wish is coming true ♪

♪ I can tell it by my horoscope" ♪

♪ There's Iucky colours ♪

♪ Lucky stones ♪

♪ Lucky numbers too ♪

♪ Lucky eight ♪

♪ As sure as fate ♪

♪ Will always pull me through ♪

♪ My cousin Kate ♪

♪ Is putting on weight ♪

♪ I said you're beyond all hope ♪

♪ Nature's unkind ♪

♪ Your future's all behind ♪

♪ I can tell it by your horoscope ♪

♪ Once an old maid ♪

♪ Said , "I'm afraid ♪

♪ My future brings no hope" ♪

♪ I said don't give way ♪

♪ The troops are home today ♪

♪ I can tell it by your horoscope ♪

♪ Early one morn ♪

♪ A baby was born ♪

♪ It's father said please don't mope ♪

♪ Let's jump for joy ♪

♪ I know that it's a boy ♪

♪ I can tell it by his horoscope ♪

♪ There's Iucky colours ♪

♪ Lucky stones ♪

♪ There's Iucky numbers too ♪

♪ Lucky eight ♪

♪ As sure as fate ♪

♪ Will always pull me through ♪

♪ I study stars ♪

♪ Venus and Mars ♪

♪ For Venus there isn't much hope ♪

♪ She's all wrapped in gauze ♪

♪ With a pair of flannel socks ♪

♪ I can tell it by her horoscope ♪

(upbeat music)

- Why that was Iovely.

Will you play again for me some time?

- Any time you like.

- Good.

Well, I suppose I'd better be taking our horoscope along

and hope for the best.

- And I'll better be getting off back again to Bill.

Good night. - Good night.

- Happy dreams.

Ooh.

Ooh!

(exclaiming)

- For 1 5 years I've been hen-pecked and l never realised it.

- You don't say so, sir.

- And then today being my birthday I happen to glance

at my horoscope: "In domestic matters you display a lack

of willpower which is at odds with your true character.

This weakness must be vanquished at all costs."

At that moment in comes my wife, nagging as usual.

I pick up the hairbrush and oh...

Send for Ashton, I owe him a Iot of thanks.

- L'm afraid he's away for a few days, sir.

- Really?

Well then who wrote this morning's brilliant horoscope?

- Oh, well as a matter of fact-

- lt was mostly George Gullip, sir.

- Gullip? Never heard of him.

- He works in the composing room, sir.

- Composing room?

Hello, hello. Put me on to the composing room.

- Gullip, Lord Redhill wants you in Mr. Brady's office.

- Me? What for?

- The sack, l hope.

(George stuttering)

- Well, I'll tell your mother your Iast thoughts

were of her.

Good bye.

- From now on l'm going to reorganise

my home life completely.

(door knocking)

- Come in.

- You sent for me, sir?

- Are you Gullop?

- Gullip, sir.

- Come here, Gullip.

So you wrote today's horoscope, did you?

Disgraceful fraud, you don't deny that?

Scandalous betrayal of the ethics of journalism, eh?

And of course you knew it was my birthday?

- Oh, yes, yes, he did sir, yes.

- Well, it's always been my policy to give youth a chance.

What's your ambition in life?

- Crime, your worship.

I mean, Iordship.

- [Redhill] Committing?

- No, detecting, your lordship.

- Well, reporting crime often amounts

to the same thing Gallop.

- Gullip, sir.

- Oh yes, give him a chance one of these days, Brady.

Be interesting to see what he can do.

- Certainly, sir. - Thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

When do I start?

- You heard what he said , Gullip.

One of these days.

- L know, but- - Now hop it, l'm busy.

(George stuttering)

Get out!

We'd better get some lunch otherwise we'll be Iate

for the races.

I'II meet you at the main entrance.

- Okay.

- You know you are a pal.

- Am I?

- This is the chance of a lifetime and I owe it all to you.

- Oh, nonsense.

- Yes, I'll be able to use my detector now.

I can show Mr. Brady how it works on Monday.

- Oh, do you think you should?

- L don't see why not.

- Well, listen, George, it's a great idea

but after all how are you going to be able to mark anybody

who doesn't want to be marked?

- L've thought of all that.

Well you see it's Iike this.

You choose anybody you like.

- Yes.

- L'II ink a sixpence, I'II put it near them,

they'll pick it up and they'll mark their thumb.

- Oh, I see.

Well how about that man over there in the black hat?

- Heh, in the bag.

- L've got a story here packed with thrills, tears

and Iaughter.

- Doubtless, sir, but all manuscripts

must be submitted through the post.

- A man of my reputation?

Ring the fiction editor.

- Very good sir.

- Turned out nice, didn't it?

You watch.

- L'm sorry sir, he says you must submit it by post.

- Ridiculous, why should I waste a pertectly good sixpence.

- Oh, excuse me, is this your sixpence?

- Funny, aren't you?

- Well, I nearly got him.

- Very nearly.

Well, you'd better go and get your sixpence back.

- Ooh aye.

- L'd Iike to speak to the news editor, please.

Major Hopkins.

- L'II ring through sir.

- Anything wrong?

- Yes, have you seen a round sixpence here?

- Eh?

- L mean, have you seen a sixpence round here?

- No, I haven't.

(George gabbling)

- l'm sorry Major Hopkins, the news editor's out.

- AII right, I'll ring through later.

Good day.

- Bad luck.

- Well, never mind.

I've got another sixpence.

I'm gonna prove me detector if it costs me

everything I've got.

What about the Queen of Sheba?

- Yes.

- L wish to speak to your musical critic, Vite.

- His name's Wilson, madam , not Vite.

- Whatever his name is tell him that Madame Berdi is here.

- L think he Ieft for the Stockholm Music Festival.

I'II make sure, madame.

- Ah.

- Now I won't look, you tell me.

- Look, she's seen it.

You've won, good for you.

Quick, go and get your sixpence.

- Ah. - Ooh.

- What is it?

- Nothing.

- Oh, you poor thing.

You are unlucky.

- Well, never mind.

It was worth it to prove it to you.

- Hey, what are you doing here?

- L was just showing Miss. Brown my detector.

- Your what?

- Would you Iike to see it?

- No, I shouldn't.

Now, where would you like to go dear?

Majestic Palace? Anywhere you Iike.

- Hello, George.

- Hello.

- Was it the sack?

- No.

- Then what are you looking so miserable for?

- Well, it's that fellow Brady.

I mean, taking Miss. Brown out to Iunch.

What chance have l got when he takes her

the Majestic Palace?

I can only afford a fish and chip shop.

- Say, George.

- What?

- How much money have you got saved up?

- About a couple of quid.

- That's grand .

You've got the money, I've got the information.

We can make our fortune this afternoon at the races.

- L'm having nothing to do with it, no.

- Now George, l've got a tip for this afternoon

that can't go wrong.

We split 50/50.

You can make enough money to take the girl

wherever you want to take her.

- No, no and no. l'm having nothing to do with horses.

- But George-

- No.

What, what's its name?

(upbeat music)

- Hello, Carey.

- Oh, hello Brady.

- Not hoping to pick up any clues here are you?

- You never know.

Anything'd be better than nothing.

- As bad as that?

- Between you and me.

- Okay, I won't use it.

Good luck.

- Thanks.

- Race cards.

Race card.

Race card.

Thank you very much, sir.

- Hello, Steamroller.

New Iine for you , isn't it?

- What's wrong with selling race cards?

- Nothing.

As Iong as you're only selling race cards.

- Then why don't you leave me alone?

- AII right. - Race card .

- AII right. - Race card .

Here you are Iady.

Race card.

Race card.

There you go, sir.

Thank you.

- [Man] Hey!

- Race card , sir?

- ?:30's the race and we're backing every horse.

- What? All of 'em?

- Yes, all of 'em.

And cover as many bookies as'll take the money.

- But the Phantom can't lose.

Put all the slush on the Phantom

and we get all the more real dough in the winnings.

- You do as you're told.

I'm not taking any chances.

Even with outsiders.

Here.

- AII right then.

Race card. Race card.

(upbeat music)

- Number five, that's Lollypop.

- That's bound to get Iicked.

Ha ha, chuckle, chuckle.

Well I thought it was funny.

Hadn't we better be getting our money on?

- Shh.

- [Man] AII the results, "Star News" and "Standard".

- You're number eight.

Number eight? Golden Boy.

There you are, told you so.

- What about it?

- Look, Golden Boy, violet cap and sleeves.

There it is.

There's the horse that's gonna make our fortune.

(passersby Iaughing)

Shut up.

- What are they laughing at?

- Just a lot of mugs, that's all.

Give me the money, hand it over.

Of course you would make it more difficult for me.

Why Iock it up in a moneybox?

- Well, I mean that's the place-

- What do we do now?

They'II be off any minute.

Ah.

- Ooh, hey!

Here, why don't you have the key?

- Oh, will you go in the stand and find a place

while l get the money on.

- Give me two dollars, Phantom.

- Phantom, (speaking off microphone)

- Hello Brady.

See you've got your typewriter with you .

- Well I ...

- Tell me, who's that very attractive woman over there?

- Your bag.

- Thank you very much.

- Not at all.

- That's Madam Berdi, the singer.

- Oh, is it?

- Yes, she's very angry with "The Sun".

Wilson described her voice as almost as stunning

as her looks and she took it the wrong way.

- Oh, good heavens, I must apologise at once.

Introduce me.

- Sure.

(crowd cheering)

- Here we are George.

What do you think of that?

30 quid to come.

- Then we've won 30 puid?

- AImost. Look out, they'll soon be off.

- L hope we've done right.

- Of course we've done right.

30 quid.

Look, 363, that proves it.

- Proves what?

- Why look, violet and eight, it's in the stars.

- Oh, then we're all right then.

- Yes.

Ashton's never wrong.

At Ieast never on Saturdays.

- Well that's good because now that Ashton's...

Did you say Ashton?

- Yes.

- Let's have a look.

Oh...

- What's the matter?

- Ashton didn't write that.

I wrote it.

- My pal.

Loves to have his Iittle joke.

- Oh no it's true.

That's why Lord RedhilI

sent for me in his office this morning.

- Yes I know...

Wait, what?

(bell ringing)

(crowd cheering)

- Phantom's in front.

- Oh, good .

- What's that coming through?

(crowd cheering)

- Want a pass out, sir?

What won?

- Golden Boy.

- [Both] What?

(indistinct)

- Wait, wait, wait.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

(indistinct)

- 636.

- 636. - 636.

We're Iooking for nothing but 666.

- We'll never find it.

- We've gotta find it.

- Ooh, my finger, you daft thing.

- Oh, don't do that.

- 636. - 636.

- Hey, haven't we enough without adding more to it?

- What are you doing?

- 63?.

- Oh, 666. Every number but 666-

- l've got it, I've got it.

- Then give it to me.

Here we are, 30 puid.

- Right. 1 0, ?0, 30.

- There you are, 30 pounds. - Thank you.

Look George, Iook. 30 puid.

- Whoopee.

- Now for a drink and what a drink.

- There's somebody over there I particularly want to see.

Will you be all right for a minute?

- Yes, of course.

- Right-oh.

- George!

Well what are you doing here?

- L've made a fortune, I've made a fortune.

- What? - Come on George.

- AII right, but I'd Iike you to come too Miss. Brown.

Will you?

- Well, all right.

- [Bill] Take the order my dear, drinks all round on me.

- [Hayes] What about a tune guv'nor?

- Why not?

(gentle music)

Hello Miss. Brown.

Has he told you what I've done for him?

- He certainly has.

- Aye, And he's right too.

♪ Can't help grinning ♪

♪ I've been winning ♪

♪ Had a real good do ♪

♪ And now I'm telling you ♪

♪ Grey skies are turning blue ♪

♪ What a racket ♪

♪ What a packet ♪

♪ I have won today ♪

♪ Troubles over ♪

♪ I'm in clover ♪

♪ Everything's okay ♪

♪ I feel Iike a millionaire ♪

♪ I'm all deluxe and how ♪

♪ I'm in the money tasting the honey ♪

♪ Hitting the high spots now ♪

♪ AII my frowns have turned to smiles ♪

♪ No wrinkles on my brow ♪

♪ I'm stepping out more ♪

♪ Getting about more ♪

♪ Hitting the high spots now ♪

♪ Life is what you make it ♪

♪ So make it worth while ♪

♪ Whatever comes just take it ♪

♪ You've got to swing along and get in rhythm ♪

♪ I'm on top of all the world ♪

♪ I'm making good and how ♪

♪ Turning the switch on ♪

♪ Putting the ritz on ♪

♪ Hitting the high spots now ♪

(upbeat music)

♪ I'II be living Iike a lord ♪

♪ The Lord knows who or how ♪

♪ I'm in the right school ♪

♪ Going to night school ♪

♪ Hitting the high spots now ♪

♪ Horses, women, wine and song ♪

♪ And greyhounds too, bow-wow ♪

♪ When there's a cert on ♪

♪ Putting me shirt on ♪

♪ Hitting the high spots now ♪

♪ Life is what you make it ♪

♪ So make it worth while ♪

♪ Whatever comes just take it ♪

♪ You've got to swing along and get in rhythm ♪

♪ In the best society ♪

♪ I soon will make my bow ♪

♪ Dressed up tricky ♪

♪ With a clean shirt on ♪

♪ Hitting the high spots ♪

♪ I'II be a big shot ♪

♪ Hitting the high spots now ♪

(crowd cheering)

- Good boy, George.

- That was grand.

- Did you Iike it Miss. Brown?

- How about Mary for a change?

- You mean l can call you Mary?

- Well, why not?

- Well, Miss. Brown, Mary, now that l've got a lot of money,

I feel daft saying it.

Do you think you'd come out with me sometime?

- L'd Iove to.

- Do you mean you would?

- Yes.

Well I think I'd better be getting back now.

Mr. Brady will be wondering where l am .

- L suppose he will.

- Cheerio everybody.

(crowd exclaiming)

Good luck.

- Good bye.

- Bye-bye.

- A tenner.

- Oh, haven't you got anything smaller?

- Sorry, nothing smaller.

- L've got some fivers.

How much do you want?

- Well, 30 puid.

- Oh, that's easy my lad.

- That's grand . Have a drink, old pal?

- No thanks.

- What a mug.

Here you are dear, that's better.

Five pounds.

Aye-aye, just a minute, just a minute.

Who do you think you are?

- Detective Inspector Carey.

- What? A real detective?

- L thought so, slush.

- SIush!

- Well, what about our money?

- 'Fraid I'II have to confiscate that.

- Hello, what's the matter?

- Get your Iorry going.

I've gotta hop it.

Quick. - Right.

- Well now I'll not be able to take Miss. Brown,

I mean Mary, out after all.

- If l could only get me hands on him.

Look, that's him.

- AII right, all right, what's the idea.

- Come on.

- Beg your pardon.

- What the blazes?

- Oi! - Oi!

- Bit of Iuck finding you like that.

- Soon as you can you'd better let the boss

know what happened.

- [Steamroller] Any idea where he'll be tonight?

- Yes, at the...

Blinking draught round here, isn't there?

- Just as I was getting a clue.

- Clue my foot.

He's got our money, that's all I know.

The first stop I'm gonna hand him over to the police.

- No, you can't do that, it'II spoil everything.

We've got to track him .

- What for?

- Well, he'II lead us to the headpuarters

of the gang, the slushers.

And on the way I'm gonna mark it with me detector.

- Oh.

(George exclaiming)

- Half a mo, half a mo.

- But we want to see a man about-

- And so do a lot of others.

You pay at the pay box.

- We'll have to wait til he comes out.

- L say, how much you got left?

- Two and tuppence.

- That's a shilling each.

We can just make it.

- But that only leaves me with tuppence.

- No, listen.

I'II stay at the exit and see that he doesn't get out.

You go and see if you can find him in the swimming bath.

- Me in the swimming bath?

No- - Now don't tell me

you can't swim?

- Yes, no.

(George stuttering)

Yes, I can swim like a duck.

- Well, what are you worrying about?

- Bathing suits sixpence extra and l've only got tuppence.

- Oh, never mind.

Go and get the tickets anyway.

Tickets.

Days are drawing in a bit, aren't they?

- Won't be Iong before we see Christmas now.

- Don't forget to hang up the old stocking.

Got the tickets?

- Yeah, but it's a waste of two bob.

- Straight on.

- Straight through, hold that will you.

Now Iisten, just duck inside and get changed

while l scout round a bit.

- Don't be daft, I haven't got a costume.

- Costume.

(Bill humming)

- No, well can't you put it on?

- L don't mind but what size do you take?

- 32.

- 32 it is.

40 I take.

You go inside, it's you .

Don't worry, you swim like a duck, don't you?

- Yeah, but ducks don't have costumes.

- That's right, you get inside.

I'II see you later.

(crowd shouting)

No swimming?

- No, mate.

Saturday's wrestling night.

If you want a go at the Tiger he's taking on all covers.

- That's very kind of him.

(crowd shouting)

- Of all the crazy halfwits, what did you want to go

and do a thing like that for?

They'II have him down on us like a tonne of bricks.

- L didn't mean no harm guv'nor.

(crowd shouting) (crowd cheering)

(crowd chanting)

(crowd shouting)

- There's a purse of five puid , five beautiful puid,

for the person who stands up to the terrible Tiger

for three minutes.

- Three beautiful minutes.

(crowd laughing)

- Been in?

- Not likely?

- Why? Too cold?

- Too hot.

- Too hot? Ooh, I Iike it hot.

- Ah, ha.

The answer to a maiden's prayer.

Come along, sir. We need you.

- Me?

- L can see at a glance you're gonna wipe the floor

with the poor old Tiger.

- Me?

- [MC] Yes, sir, you.

(George stuttering) (crowd shouting)

Your name, sir?

(George gabbling)

Your name, sir?

(George continues gabbling)

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Aberaber challenges

the Terrible Tiger for five beautiful puid.

- Now listen, no biting, no gouging and no hair pulling.

- Don't tell me, tell him .

- Any oil? Any grease?

- Look, look, look.

- Hello, what's this?

- Oh, well I put these on because-

- No, me? No, me no fight him.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

- Because l didn't want to-

(crowd laughing)

I mean- - Look, look.

Okay, okay.

(Tiger growling)

- Hey, get away. Somebody stop him.

Mother.

Hey.

Get away you cheeky fast cat, go away.

- Clean fight Tiger.

(crowd cheering)

- [Man] How you doing Tiger?

(crowd cheering)

- Mother, get away.

(crowd laughing)

- BIimey, it's one of the geezers I worked the slush on.

- What?

Come on out of here, before the fight finishes.

(crowd shouting)

- [George] Mother!

(crowd shouting)

- Stop this.

- [Man] Wring his neck.

- Oh I can't look, I can't Iook.

- Mother!

(crowd shouting)

- [Referee] Break it up.

- [Man] We want a murder.

(crowd laughing)

- [Man] Go on Tiger.

- Hey, get away.

Get away.

- [Man] Gouge his eyeballs.

- Ooh.

- Mother!

- L'II stop the fight.

- Like a smoke, pal?

(crowd laughing)

(Tiger exclaiming)

(crowd laughing)

(Tiger exclaiming)

(George screaming)

(Bill exclaiming)

- Why don't you stop?

- Oi, my hat pin.

(George shouting)

(Tiger exclaiming)

(crowd laughing)

(Tiger exclaiming)

(crowd laughing)

(George shouting)

(Tiger exclaiming)

(crowd laughing)

- How you doing, Tiger?

(George exclaiming)

(crowd laughing)

- [Man] Give him the works.

- Stop him.

Get away.

Mother!

(George exclaiming)

(crowd shouting)

- Eight, nine, out.

(crowd cheering)

- Think of it George, you win five puid.

That's two pounds 1 0 each.

- Yes, but what about the slushers?

- They've gone.

- Gone?

- Gone.

- Do you mean to say while I've been going through

all that you let them go?

- Congratulations my boy, you can take on the world.

- The world?

- The world.

- Do you mean that?

- Yes.

(George growling)

- Not me, George.

(crowd cheering)

(crowd laughing)

- Oh well, see you in the (indistinct).

Mary.

- Yes, Mr. Brady?

- What's been the matter with you all day?

Something upsetting you?

- You know pertectly well.

- Oh, don't tell me it's still that Gullip?

- Well, I after all I do think it's a shame

when he's just got the chance-

- Just Iook at this.

I cleaned up a couple of hundred on the Iast race

at Norton and now my bank manager tells me the

that most of it's sludge.

- SIush, sir.

Slush. - Counterteit.

- No puestion about it.

- Me, l , Redhill of "The Sun".

Redhill, had for a mug.

- But sir-

- You'II run a front page.

Lord Redhill to rid racecourses of slush racketeers.

Offers 500 pounds for anyone giving information

that'll Iead to the arrest of the gang.

- [Manager] A very generous offer, sir.

- Yeah, I'II get busy right away, sir.

And if l may say so, I-

- Oh yes, yes, yes.

I know what you're going to say and I admit I was wrong.

From now on sludge, slush, is going to be the main feature

of the paper.

I'm going to fix this gang once and for all.

It's a national disgrace.

- George, Lord Redhill has offered 500 pounds

to anybody who can find the slush gang

and bring them to justice.

- He has?

- Yes, and look at this.

- Well, what about it?

- A dud fiver that was paid out to him at the races.

And look, your mark.

- So it is.

- But how did it get there?

- L know, the woman I marked.

- That's right, Madame Berdi the opera singer.

- What? Her in the slush racket?

Don't make me Iaugh.

- Come to think of it l saw her betting heavily

with five pound notes.

- There you are.

I'II go and tell Mr. Brady.

- George, and let him get the reward?

Oh no you're not, you're going to have it yourself.

- Am I?

- Well, what am l gonna do?

- Well first of all you've got to make sure

that it is this Madame Berdi.

- But how?

- Well, get another fingerprint and compare it with this.

You'II have to get into her house somehow.

- What, me?

- Oh Vicky, this stuff you gave me is absolutely useless.

- Well the chemist guaranteed it.

- But what am I to do?

All these important people coming

and l look as if I've come out of a coal hole.

(bell buzzing)

What's that?

Not one of the guests already?

- Oh, no, no.

Probably extra waiters from the agency.

- Oh, stop fidgeting George

and try and look Iike a reporter.

- Well, what are we going to interview her about?

- Should girls wear pyjamas or old-fashioned nighties,

or anything?

- Or anything?

Oh, I couldn't ask a Iady a puestion like that.

- Don't worry, I'II do all the talking.

All you have to do is to take the camera out.

While you're posing her for a photograph get her to mark

a piece of paper.

- Yeah, but if the Iady won't mark the paper-

- Good evening.

- L was afraid you were going to be Iate. Follow me.

- Late?

- Get inside.

- Got your things in there?

- Yes.

- Well you better change in the cloakroom?

- Change?

- You don't usually wait in Iounge suits, do you?

- Wait, for what?

- Ah, George will have his little joke.

- Well keep it to yourselves.

You're hired as waiters, not entertainers.

What do you want?

- Madame's shouting for you.

- When you've changed, go into the kitchen.

- Okay, miss.

- Eh, what's to do?

What's going on here?

- Don't you see, she thinks were a couple of hired waiters.

Let her think.

All the easier to get the mark.

- We're gonna get a thick ear if we're not careful.

We can't wait, we'II have to have black suits

and l want a dickie.

- Yes, don't worry.

- Hey, what are you gonna do?

- Leave it to me, l'm gonna see the hall porter.

- Hey, Iook, the waiters.

- Hey, puick, in the kitchen, keep 'em busy.

- What, me?

- Take their photos, anything you Iike only give me time

to deal with the waiters.

- Well, what are you gonna do?

- Don't worry, get inside.

- Turned out nice again, hasn't it?

- Has it?

- You ought to be changing.

- Yes, I know, but you see my pal he's a bit shy

and he doesn't Iike anybody watching

while he's changing you see.

- What are you gonna do then? Dress here?

- Yes. No, no.

No, I thought, you see, while I was here

I could take your photograph.

- Oh, Iook, what a funny thing for a waiter to carry around.

- Yes, well you see the places I work,

I mean, nightclubs and-

- Night clubs?

Do you know the underworld?

- Well no, I've never met her.

Oh, underworld?

Oh, yes, I can show you .

♪ Up the West End ♪

♪ That's the best end ♪

♪ Where the night clubs thrive ♪

♪ Down into a dive ♪

♪ You go ♪

♪ Now there's a jazz pueen ♪

♪ She's a has been ♪

♪ Has been lord knows what ♪

♪ Every night she's there ♪

♪ On show ♪

♪ She dances underneath a magic spell ♪

♪ She's full of charm ♪

♪ And beer and stout as well ♪

♪ She's 66 but she looks 1 6 ♪

♪ Her friends don't know her now her face is clean ♪

♪ That's Fanlight Fanny, the frowsy night club pueen ♪

♪ See her glide around the floor ♪

♪ Then glide around into the pub next door ♪

♪ That's Fanlight Fanny, the frowsy night club pueen ♪

♪ She Iooks well in the lime ♪

♪ A pueen all the time ♪

♪ You get your money's worth ♪

♪ By day you'd say it's her second time on earth ♪

♪ Every morn at the break of day ♪

♪ They call for the empties and they cart away ♪

♪ Fanlight Fanny the frowsy night club pueen ♪

♪ By ted she's followed ♪

♪ And when she's collared ♪

♪ The judge she always cheeks ♪

♪ Twice a month, two weeks ♪

♪ She'll do ♪

♪ She's often boasted ♪

♪ She's been toasted ♪

♪ Toasted by her friends ♪

♪ She ought to be cremated too ♪

♪ You can't tell if she's brunette or a blonde ♪

♪ She's Iike something you'd drag out of a pond ♪

♪ Now she's a peach but understand ♪

♪ She's called a peach because she's always canned ♪

♪ That's Fanlight Fanny the frowsy night club pueen ♪

♪ When she's dressed she's Iike Mae West ♪

♪ She wears two saucepan lids upon her chest ♪

♪ That's Fanlight Fanny the frowsy night club pueen ♪

♪ She Iooks well in the lime ♪

♪ A pueen all the time ♪

♪ You get your money's worth ♪

♪ By day you'd say it's her second time on earth ♪

♪ She waltzes in the West End shops ♪

♪ Then she waltzes out in between two cops ♪

♪ That's Fanlight Fanny the frowsy night club pueen ♪

(upbeat music)

Hey!

- Sorry to break up the party Iadies

but my friend's got to come and change.

Out.

- Oh, I think he's beautiful.

- Yes? Oh, get on with your work.

- There you are.

- Well what's these?

- Your clothes.

- Well, what's happened to the waiters?

- Oh, they're hanging around.

- Ooh, murder.

- Oh, just a couple of taps on the bean.

They'II be all right.

- No, come on.

- Shh. Coming.

Get changed quickly. Ouickly.

He won't be a moment.

- Well, tell him to hurry.

Madame will be down at any moment

and her nerves are very much on edge.

- Oh, something upset her?

- A tiresome stain on her finger that nothing'II get off.

- You may tell Madame she need have no further worry.

- Why?

- My friend in there is a brilliant pharma,

pharma, pharmacutelist.

- A what?

- [Bill] Removing stains is his specialty.

- [Housekeeper] Oh, I'll tell Madame at once.

- [Bill] Splendid.

- L won't do it.

- What? And throw 500 puid down the drain?

- But what am I going to say to her?

- Get her to mark a piece of paper.

- Yeah, but how?

- Tell her it's a test, to see what sort of a stain it is.

When you've got that, remove the stain.

It's too easy.

- Well, why don't you do it?

(door knocking)

- [Housekeeper] Madame will see him at once.

(George stuttering)

- Here, take your bottle.

- Yeah, but-

- l'II put your clothes in here, Ieave it in the halI

in case we have to make a puick getaway.

- Yeah. Ooh.

- This way.

Are those all the implements you carry?

- Well, you see, this is a secret process of my own.

- Oh.

Madame will be here in a minute.

(Madame harmonising)

(George exclaiming)

- Was that you at my bathroom door?

- Well, I beg your pardon, but I thought somebody

was doing you in.

- Do me in?

- Yes.

- That was Wagner.

- Well, d'you think he'll mind me being in here?

- No, no, no, no.

Wagner, opera.

- Oh, well, that's different, isn't it?

- So you are the expert, yes?

- Yes, I'm the expert.

- Well then, come along, come along, come along.

What are you waiting for?

Well, what's the matter?

- You'II catch your death of cold.

- Oh, don't be so silly.

- Sit down. Hurry up.

- Well, now first of all I must ask you

to make an impression.

- What?

Me, Madame Berdi, to make an impression on you?

- No, no, no. On the piece of paper.

See, I'II show you, with your thumb.

- Oh, I see.

For one moment I thought you.

- Ooh, couldn't be better.

- What?

- L mean, I've got the stuff to take it off with.

- Well, stop wasting time with that piece of paper,

take the mark off my thumb.

I suppose that Iipuid is something very special.

- Oh yes, it's my own private invention.

- Naturally. Look, it's coming off.

- Course, if you know how to do it it doesn't take Iong.

- It's gone.

Oh, thank you so much.

Thank you, thank you.

Yes? - Oh boy.

- Oh, is that you darling?

No, don't be so silly of course I'II be there.

11 .30, Maxim's. Good bye darling.

- Oh, no, you mustn't do that.

- How dare you?

- Well I-

- So you are what they call a peeping Thomas, yes?

- No, it's that paper.

- Will you please get out of here, l'm in a hurry.

- L want, I want-

- Get out.

- But you don't understand-

- [Berdi] Get out.

(upbeat music)

- By gum, it's a long way down this Iift.

- There we are.

Can you manage?

- L hope so.

- Mind, it's hot.

- You're telling me.

Excuse me.

Gangway. Gangway.

Excuse me.

- Clumsy idiot.

- Well, it was burning me fingers.

- L thought you removed stains, not made them.

Go and hand round those drinks.

- Ah, that's better.

- L'm glad of that, sir.

- Where's my handkerchief?

- If your overcoat probably.

- Through there, sir.

Straight through.

- Thank you. - Well, did you get it?

- Well, no. You see it was Iike this.

I was just going to and-

- Why aren't you handing round those drinks?

- Come along, do hurry.

You're frightfully slow.

- L'II tell you Iater.

Drink, Mrs?

- Divine.

- Drink, Mrs?

- Divine.

- Cocktail?

- Well, just one perhaps.

Strictly against doctor's orders.

- Indigestion, sir?

- Hallucinations.

- Divine.

Oh!

- [Woman] This should be an interesting party,

don't you think?

- Should be, dear lady?

- Well, isn't it rather unkind

of Madame Berdi to be so late?

- Well these prima donnas do get detained.

- Ah, my dear professor.

How nice to see you again.

- Well I don't get very far from my work

these days, you know.

- Oh, dear Lady Vanson, how nice to see you.

How are you? And how is your husband?

I saw someone the other day who knew him so well.

Oh dear Mrs-

(fabric ripping)

- Ooh.

- Oh Mrs. Mason, I thought I should see you here.

I know how devoted you are to the Arts.

- Why aren't you serving those drinks?

(George stuttering)

- That's enough out of you. Get busy.

- Good evening everybody.

How can you ever forgive me for being so Iate?

How are you madame? How are you?

How nice of you-

- Ah, Madame Berdi.

- Ah, Sir William.

- Well, did you get the mark?

- Yes, I got it on a piece of paper.

- Then what are we waiting here for?

- But she put the piece of paper in the top of her stocking.

- What?

- Yes.

- We'll have to get another.

- Well we can't, l've taken the stain off her thumb.

- You would.

- L did .

- You idling again?

Take this fruit round.

(George stuttering)

Go on.

- As I was saying to the French ambassador

only this afternoon, you can say what you like

about these other prima donnas but there are none

who can compare with Madame Berdi.

- How sweet of you.

- Fruit, Mrs?

(Madame Berdi gasping)

You daft thing, Iook what you've done.

- My apologies Madame.

- To your very good health.

- Get under the table and get that paper.

- Oh, I couldn't do that.

- It's your own fault for not getting it the first time.

Get under.

- Yes, indeed, some of the others may have beautiful voices

but none can come within a mile of you, my dear.

- You flatter me, Sir William.

- Not at all.

When it comes to feeling there's something about

your lower register, I don't know what it is,

I can't even describe it, but it seems to raise one

to a higher, a more spiritual plane.

- Sir William, you are drunk.

- L beg your pardon?

- Might I possibly have a word with you in private?

(George exclaiming)

- Certainly, Professor.

- But what have l done?

- You know pertectly well.

- Sir William, how nice to see you again.

Do you know I saw a great friend of yours the other day

who was with you through all the horrors

of the Russian Revolution.

- L can hardly describe the horrors

of the that winter of 1 01 6.

As I lay there in my prison cell l could hear

the firing spuad at work.

(foot banging)

- Hey, what's to do?

- Wrong table you fool.

She's moved over there.

(George stuttering)

Go on, it's worth 500 puid.

- You daft thing.

- And I can assure you

that there is no more deserving charity.

(door buzzing)

- Good evening, Sir.

- Good evening.

Haven't I seen your face before somewhere?

- Well, sir, I have a twin brother, sir.

I'II put your hat and things in the cloakroom, my lord.

- How dare you.

- L beg your pardon.

- Once again I am insulted.

- Oh my dear Madame Berdi, I'm so sorry to be Iate.

I hope l'm not butting in?

- By no means. Not at all.

- [Redhill] May I join you?

- [Berdi] Please do, Lord Redhill.

I should be delighted.

- Would you care for some soup, my lord?

- Soup?

Thank you, yes, that would be very nice.

- L hope you're a more agreeable companion

than the average Englishman.

- Don't worry my dear, l've spent most

of my Iife on the continent.

- What's the matter?

- Nothing, Madame. Nothing.

- [Berdi] I hope you will enjoy this soup,

I have ordered it specially for you .

- May l talk to you very confidentially?

A dear woman, my wife, but she doesn't understand me at all.

It's very Ionely when one's not understood.

That's why it's such a pleasure to meet

a broadminded person Iike yourself.

Well I never.

- L suppose that is what you call the freedom of the press.

- L have never been so insulted in my life.

I shall leave this house at once.

Oh, my.

- L've got it.

I've got it. Look.

- [Man] Help. Murder.

- The waiters.

- Ooh.

- Ouick, follow me down the fire escape.

(crowd shouting)

- Where's that Gullip? I'll show him.

(George exclaiming)

- [Man] I'll show him.

(George exclaiming)

- l know he's in here somewhere.

I'II have him .

(crowd all shouting over each other)

- He must be here somewhere.

(man exclaiming)

(George exclaiming)

- Gallop!

- No, Gullip, sir.

- Stop him, stop him. Stop him.

(woman screaming)

There he goes.

- Get him. - Ooh, mother!

(crowd speaking over each other)

(George exclaiming)

(woman gasping)

- Ha ha, never touched me!

May we come in?

- Well, hello.

What on earth are you in those clothes for?

- Oh, just one of our disguises.

- Yes, but they're all messed up.

- Well, we've had a bit of a dust up with the gang

but they couldn't stop us from getting what we went for.

- You've got it? Well done.

Are they the same?

- Of course they're the same.

- Well, let's have a look in the magnifying glass.

- Oh look, they're both exactly...

Different.

- But they can't be.

- Do you mean to say after I've risked my neck-

- Oh, now, now Bill.

- L've got it.

It must've been that fellow I marked by mistake.

- That's right.

What was his name?

- Oh, Major...

- Oh George, you must remember.

It must be him , it can't be anybody else.

- It started with F.

- F? - Phillips.

No, no. Something to do with fruit.

- Raspberry?

- No, that's a noise.

- Hops?

- Hopkins. Major Hopkins. - Hopkins.

- Good old Bill.

- Well, I mean to say after all what's your head for?

- To put your hat on.

Ha ha, chuckle, chuckle.

- Here we are. Here we are.

Major Hopkins, 1 ? Candlemas Mansions...

- l've never known such a day.

What with telephone calls and tradesmen,

and now, on top of it all, this error

of eightpence in the accounts.

- Well, my dear, eightpence isn't going to break us.

- It's the principle of the thing.

I simply shan't rest til I find it.

- You'II find it in the morning.

- Eightpence. Such an odd amount.

- Now, you get along to bed .

- L believe it was...

No. No, l paid that.

(doorbell ringing)

- Well, what do you want?

- Good evening, sir.

- It's turned out nice again, hasn't it?

- We represent the "Daily Sun".

- Oh?

- We're running a new column,

"Candid Opinions from the fireside" and we thought-

- Well, you can think again.

- That's torn it.

- Did you see it?

- What?

- Piles of notes on his desk?

- SIush?

- Yes. Let me get up here, puick.

- Steady. Steady.

- SIush.

Slush. Slush.

He's putting it away in his safe.

- Probably going to bed.

- You daft thing.

- George. - What?

- Somehow or other we've got to get those notes

out of the safe and take them to Police Headpuarters.

(phone ringing)

- Yes, who is it?

- Inspector Carey here sir.

Have you had time to examine

that bundle of slush I sent round?

- Yes, hardly a flaw in it.

The more expert they get the more difficult

they're going to be to track down.

I can't help that.

As I've told you before l will not

have my police organisation Iaughed at.

Somehow or other you've got to get results.

- But supposing he wakes up-

- Stop arguing George.

Here have I practically got you the reward

and all you can do is to argue.

- Yeah, well why can't you do it?

- What's the matter with you?

You told me yourself he's left the window open.

- L know I did but I was-

- Well, all you've got to do is go along the fire escape.

- Fire escape? I can't do that.

- In through the window and open the door for me.

- Yes, I know, but-

- While I do the difficult task of getting the tools

to open the safe.

- But I can't stand heights.

- Get out.

- And Bill. No, but.

No, no, you.

Bill.

(car horn honking)

Bill.

(car horn honking) (George exclaiming)

Bill!

(George exclaiming)

(metal clanging) (Bill exclaiming)

- [Agnes] AIfred! AIfred!

- Oh!

(Bill groaning)

Oh!

Oh! Somebody save me, I'm slipping.

Somebody stop me.

- My dear Agnes, do stop worrying

about that wretched eightpence.

- It's the principle of the thing.

- Good night, my dear.

(AIfred humming)

- Ooh!

(AIfred humming)

- Everything all right?

- Yes.

- We'll have to hurry up.

I only borrowed these.

- Who from?

- A fellow outside, mending the tram Iines.

Where's Major Hopkins?

- In there.

- Right.

- Shh.

Ooh!

(metal clinking)

(Bill whispering)

- lt's all right, he's going to sleep.

Come on. Shh.

(George gasping) (metal clanging)

Shh, puiet. Shh!

Locked .

- Let me have a do.

You're right, it's Iocked.

- Well, we'II have to get busy on the hinges.

Take your coat off.

Here you are, hold these.

You hold that, I'll hit it.

- No, you hold it and l'II hit it.

- Don't argue, hold it.

- Oh.

- We'll have to use the blow lamp.

- Oh, that's a good idea.

Ouch!

- Stop jumping about.

- Well, what about-

- Shh!

- Oh stop shushing, you're drowning me.

- Here, if we can only burn through that it's a cinch.

Now puietly. Shh.

Carry on George, I'm going to investigate.

How's it coming?

- Won't be Iong now.

- Well, hurry up, hurry up.

- You daft thing, you know l'm ticklish.

- Mind, see if it's coming Ioose.

(Bill shouting)

- Shh!

- Well how can I shush when you keep on burning holes in me?

- Eightpence.

Eightpence.

Eightpence.

Eightpence.

- Shut up you fool, they'll hear us.

- Eightpence.

- Shut up.

- Eightpence.

- Shut up.

- Eightpence. - Oh!

- Eightpence.

Eightpence.

Eightpence.

- L think she's sleepwalking.

- Well, what are you gonna do?

- Make sure.

- How?

- Leave it to me.

- Eightpence.

Eightpence.

Eightpence.

(George exclaiming)

- Oh, what did you want to do that for?

- L couldn't help it.

- Just in time.

- Ooh, the slush.

- Put it in the sack.

- Eightpence.

Eightpence.

- Here's Fanlight Fanny back again.

- Eightpence. - Here's ?0 puid .

- Eightpence. - She's proper daft.

Stop it, will you, you know I'm ticklish.

- Put 'em up.

- Oh, oh.

Don't shoot, please.

Don't. - Get me Police Headpuarters.

- L didn't. I didn't.

You've murdered him.

You've killed him .

- He's all right.

- What do we do now?

- L know, put him in the sack.

- What for?

- Take him along to Police Headpuarters.

- Oh yes.

- And on the way...

- Don't make me laugh.

The head of the slush racket in that sack.

Well, Iet's have a look at him.

- Not until you get the chief of the police.

- There's a 500 pound reward for this,

and no one's butting in.

(groaning)

- Lie down and speak when you're spoken to.

- What's this?

- These men say they've got the head of the slush racket.

- What?

- Yes, the master mind.

- Are you the chief of police?

- He's at home in bed.

- Well, can't you get him up.

- Of course not.

- Very good .

For you , sir.

The Major's flat. Sounds important.

- So happens this is the chief.

Hello.

- Major Hopkins. He's been kidnapped, in his pyjamas.

- Don't worry Mrs. Hopkins, we'II soon get him back for you .

Warn all cars, Major Hopkins kidnapped.

Every conveyance to be searched.

Major Hopkins kidnapped.

Send two men round to his flat at once.

- Did you say, "Hopkins,"?

- Yes.

- Ooh.

- Have every barrier watched at every station.

- 1 7 Candlemas Mansions?

- Yes.

- Well, we'II see you in the morning.

I can see you're busy now, we'II come back again.

(groaning)

- Open that sack.

- Well, well you see we didn't mean to-

- What's happened?

Where the blazes am I?

(both speaking over each other)

- Turned out nice again, hasn't it?

- So you thought you'd caught the head

of the slush racket, eh?

- Yes, I thought it was in the bag.

- Hello, you still here?

- Yes, I'm waiting for someone.

- Not George Gullip, the printer's error.

- If you knew what he was doing at this moment you might not

think he was such a joke.

- Ah, now Iet me guess.

I know, he's at Wapping OId Stairs capturing a gang

of crooks single-handed.

- That's not so far off either.

- Or better still, he's running the slush gang to earth.

- Got it, in two guesses.

- Say, you're not pulling my Ieg are you?

Well, who are they?

- The leader of the gang is a man called Hopkins.

- Hopkins?

- Yes, George rang up just now.

They actually discovered him working on the slush.

- Not, not Major Hopkins?

- Why yes. Do you know him?

- Do I know him?

My dear, he's only chief of police.

- What?

- Where's that galley proof?

They were just doing an article on him.

- Yes, but that's impossible.

He left his mark on the note and everything-

- Mark?

What mark?

- George's detector.

And the only two people whose fingers he's marked

were Madame Berdi and Hopkins, so it must be one.

I think I'd better be getting home now.

It's getting rather Iate.

- Just one minute.

You're puite sure you're going straight home?

- Why yes, of course.

- You weren't thinking of calling in at a police station

by any chance?

You know, finger prints are remarkably damning things.

I'd Iike to point out, in case you want to scream

or anything, that l've got a gun in my pocket.

Don't forget it.

Riverbank ?31 4.

What made your friend George suspect me enough

to mark my finger?

- L didn't know he had.

- Oh, don't talk nonsense.

You were in here with him the other morning

when he upset his bottles over the bell push.

- Oh, I see.

- Oh, I see, so it was a mistake.

Dear George Gullip doesn't suspect me after all.

Hello, Blue Star Brewery?

Bridgewater?

This is Brady here, I'm bringing you a visitor down.

A young woman who's remarkably well-informed.

I've persuaded her she needs a sea voyage.

Yes, just a couple of months while we get things cleared up.

All right. l'II be down right away.

Good bye.

- Ah, sorry, sir, thought you'd gone.

- We have.

- L bet she'II have a fur coat before Iong.

- We're a couple of mugs if ever there was one.

I phoned Mary and told her that we were coming back

to collect the reward.

- Well, if that Police Chief hadn't been such a decent

fellow we wouldn't be coming back at all.

- L know that.

- Here, Brady's car.

- Good, then he'll not be able to sack me til the morning.

- Come in.

- Oh, excuse me. Have you seen her?

- Who?

- Mary. Miss. Brown.

I mean Mr. Brady's secretary.

- They went out together a few minutes ago.

- Together?

- Couldn't have been closer together if they'd tried.

Almost made me blush.

- Come on.

See if we can get a drink.

- Here, be a pal and answer it.

I don't understand them things.

- Hello, who's there?

Lord Redhill?

Ooh. Hello, Lord Redhill.

Yes sir.

No I'm sorry, Mr. Brady's gone out.

Could I take a message, sir?

Yes sir, one moment please.

Piece of paper Bill?

Just a moment your Lordship.

Yes sir, I'm on my way with police officers to charge two

of my staff, George Gallop, no, Gullip, sir.

Ooh.

- Here, let's get out of here.

- Yes, come on. - Here, haven't l enough

to clear up as it is?

- Sorry.

- Don't fuss. In the tray.

In the tray.

- Good heavens it's Mary. She's in danger.

Come on, let's go and get her.

- Not me. I've had enough for one night.

- She's at the BIue Star Brewery.

- That's different.

- Oi!

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Hello?

Who?

Can't hear.

Who?

Oh, good evening your lordship.

They've just nipped it to the BIue Star Brewery.

- Well, what do we do now?

- Shh, don't make such a noise.

(van horn honking)

Look out, there's a Blue Star van.

- Bill, Iook.

It's the chap that drove the van at the races.

- Is it?

- Come on, jump to it mate.

- AII right, all right.

- Come on boys, puickly. Over there.

Any more in there?

That's the idea.

Quick as you can boys.

- Brady?

- With the fellow who passed the slush.

There's something fishy going on here.

- L don't like the Iook of it.

Here we've got a classy little brewing concern,

A1 , first class reputation then you start unloading

kidnapped women on us.

It's asking for trouble.

- Hear, hear.

- Shut up.

- L tell you there's not the slightest danger.

Even if the police walk in

they'd never discover the presses.

- L daresay, but that doesn't make

that girl any the less dangerous.

You get her out of here before daylight.

- Where'd you park her?

- In the waiting room.

- Waiting room.

Quick. We gotta get her out of there.

- You'II be back at the "Daily Sun"

tomorrow morning as usual.

We shall need your stories to keep the police off the scent

more than ever now.

- Yes, but-

- Don't argue.

Get that girl on board the BIue Horizon.

She sails at daybreak.

- Chelsea, they've let me down week after week.

- Come on Useless.

- Okay.

- Is that all you've gotta do?

Go on, get on with your work.

- George.

- You go and fetch the police

while Bill and l find where the presses are hidden.

- Yes but I-

- Now go and fetch the police.

- Yes but-

- Don't argue, go and fetch the police.

- Better leave all the talking to me.

Then you keep her puiet in there while l see about the boat.

- [Steamroller] Hey, Bert. Where's she gone?

- It won't take Iong if you put your backs into it.

Better move this lot first.

Over there.

- Okay.

- Now come on, if we're quick we might still catch her.

- Okay.

- Hello? Hello, Police Headquarters.

I'm speaking from near the BIue Star Brewery-

- Hello?

Hello?

- Make him Iet me go, he's hurting me.

- He'll hurt you a lot more if you don't keep puiet.

- Help! Help!

- She's fainted boss.

- Good, bring her inside.

- Okay.

- Why haven't you started?

- We have.

- Looks like it.

- Yeah, but we-

- That's enough from you.

Get on with it. Both of ya.

- Well it beats me.

- Now, keep her the other side of the far door.

- Okay.

Don't worry, she won't see nothing. She's just fainted .

- Oh, you must have breathed on her.

- Yes, that's right mate.

Throw us down a bit of rope, Fred?

- If you want any help, Iet me know.

- Okay.

- Well, we don't seem to be making much impression

with this Iot.

- Jim, you're wanted in the printing room.

- What for?

- [Knight] Something wrong with the press.

They want to print all the slush they can.

What's that?

- Must have been those onions I had for supper.

- How many more times must I tell you to shift these crates?

- [Lester] Well, it's like there's-

- Don't argue. Get on with it.

Hey!

- Ooh.

- Who the devil are you?

- L don't know.

- What are you doing here?

- Well you see it was a mistake.

We were wandering round and we took the wrong turning.

- What's the matter with the lights?

- Ooh, they're probably changing over at the mains.

- Come on. Ouick.

- Ouick, someone's in the store room.

- BIimey.

- Well, we'II have to be getting along.

- Yes, very. Good night.

- Good night boys.

- Good night.

- Ooh.

Ooh.

- L caught them in here a few minutes ago.

- Oh, it's you is it?

- Are they dangerous?

- L'II say so.

- Get 'em boys.

- Come on. - Come on.

- Ooh.

(men exclaiming)

- Ouick. Creep up and overturn the crates on top of 'em.

- Ooh.

(all shouting over each other)

- There they are!

Go on, after them.

Go on.

(all shouting over each other)

Go on, after them.

Go on.

(George exclaiming)

(Bill exclaiming)

- Bill? Bill?

Ooh.

Oh. Ooh.

- [Bridgewater] Go on, after him.

- Mother.

Ooh.

- Now get back and Iook after that girl.

- That's a mug's job.

- Where's that pal of yours?

- L don't know.

- Cops.

Now keep your heads.

Any puestions, you're the ordinary night shift.

One word from you and it'II be your last.

- Take it away.

- Ah, so there you are Gallop.

- Oh, Gullip, sir.

- Oh, Gullip then.

Take him away officer.

(George stuttering)

I didn't mean any harm sir.

- Harm? What do you call this?

- L was unconscious for an hour and a half.

- Well I , well...

- Ah, Brady, charwoman told you too, eh?

- Yes, that's right sir.

- Ooh, no, I'm going to tell even if l don't Iive

to get the reward.

- Reward? What on earth are you talking about?

- Well, I've found the slushers.

- Oh obviously a lunatic.

Take him away.

- L'm not as daft as I Iook.

I've got a witness.

Bill. Bill.

♪ I hear you calling me ♪

- There you are.

You know all about the slushers, don't you, Bill?

- My old pal Lord Redhill.

- Bill, pull yourself together.

- Here, take him away. Come on.

- Well, if you don't believe me ring up Police Headquarters.

Miss. Brown'II be there by now.

- Come on will ya.

- No you can't. No-

- Come on. - No, you can't.

- [Redhill] I'm tired of your excuses.

Take him away.

- [Mary] Look!

- Look, the presses, I told ya.

- BIess my soul.

- Ouick, get 'em in.

- Here, open that door. Open the door.

- Ouick, up the Iadder.

Come on Bill. Come on.

- Ouick. After them.

(tense music)

- Hurry up. - Come on.

- They'II catch us. Hurry up.

(tense music)

- So Gallop was right after all.

Well, what are we going to do?

- What about a little game of find the Iady?

- What? Look for women at a time Iike this?

(all shouting over each other)

- Hurry up.

(tense music)

Quick, the crane.

You'II be all right.

(men shouting over each other)

(tense music)

Go and get the police.

Are you ready?

- George, I think you're wonderful.

(Iighthearted music)

- Ooh.

- Ooh.

(triumphant music)

(tense music)

- Oh.

Ooh.

Ooh.

- They must be here somewhere.

Search the barrels.

Come on. Quick.

Come on, hurry up.

(dramatic music)

- l've got him boys.

- [Brady] Let's have him.

- [Steamroller] Okay.

(Steamroller screaming)

(George screaming)

(comical music)

(all shouting over each other)

- [Man] Ouick.

- Oh!

(tense music)

(all shouting over each other)

- There she is.

Find the pueen and the money's yours.

- L'II have two bob on that one.

- Wrong.

(all shouting over each other)

- Ooh!

Ooh! Mother!

(George exclaiming)

(all shouting over each other)

(suspenseful music)

(men exclaiming)

(dramatic music)

It's all right, Bill.

Mary's on her way for the police and they're all in the vat.

- That's what you think.

(Brady groaning)

(upbeat dramatic music)

- Now where is she?

- L'II have me Iast puid on that one.

- Wrong again.

(dramatic music)

- Ah, my old pal Brady.

- Coming, Bill. Coming.

(dramatic music)

- Get that man away.

- George.

Are you all right?

- L'm champion.

- Where's the rest of the gang?

- There.

(men all shouting over each other)

- Take 'em in.

- What about Lord Redhill?

- Ooh yes.

- Oh.

- Look.

- Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

- L'II have 50 quid on each of 'em.

Oh, we're saved.

- But George, you must be exhausted.

- No, I'm all right.

- You've certainly won the reward Gallop.

- Oh, for the Iast time, Gullip, sir.

- Perhaps in future l'd better call you George.

- Ah, now you're talking.

- Come on.

- Great boy that, I'll certainly take my hat off to him.

- Yes, I'll take mine off too.

- Oh, George, I think you're marvellous.

- Well, I think you're...

- What?

- L don't like saying it.

- Oh, go on.

- Well I don't like...

(comical music)

(George exclaiming)

(upbeat music)