Original subtitles

Let me make it here.

Right, so who will be reading for burglar number one and two?

Oh, I'm actually going to audition for the character Dale.

This casting session is for burglar one and two.

I know, but I read the script and I actually think that I would be better

for the Dale character.

Is that why you're dressed like a cop?

Yeah, Dale's a cop, obviously.

And I just think it aligns with my personality and I really have been

some things that I would like to show you.

I'm glad you think that, but we've already held auditions for Dale.

If I knew that, I would have come in then.

So the casting session for Dale is over.

So I can't... No.

No.

We're auditioning for burglars one and two.

Would you still like to read for one of them? Okay, yeah, sure.

Okay.

Whenever you're both ready.

You're good.

I'm good.

Oh.

Hey.

Jimmy knows the score.

Okay? Jimmy said there's diamonds in there.

Jimmy don't know shit.

He's a fucking idiot.

You listen to Jimmy, you end up in the sewer.

Like a fucking Ninja Turtle.

Idiot.

Sorry, that wasn't in the script. I just... Mm -hmm.

Just improvise. Go with it. Stick to the script.

Congratulations.

You've decided to take the most important step in your acting career.

Method acting. My fucking way. What are you doing?

Forget everything you think you know about acting. Because you know fuck all.

Over the next eight weeks, through group classes and these audio recordings, I'm

going to force you to look into your very soul and discover the characters

have hidden within you, if you have any.

Let's get started.

Chapter one. The first thing you need to do is to let it go.

You truly do have a great smile.

You truly do have a great smile.

You truly do have a great smile. So you want to be actors?

So you want to be method actors?

Everybody came to the wrong fucking class because I don't teach acting.

I don't give a fuck about acting.

I want to teach you how to be the person that you're playing.

I want your soul to connect with the soul of the character.

You become one person.

And if you're not interested in that, Find a fucking donut shop and order a

double -double.

Don't take my class.

Because there's two types of people in the world.

There's good souls and assholes, and I have an asshole right in front of me.

Take your phone and put it in your pocket. I'm going to shove it up your

You're going to get a fax through your ear.

You hear me? Yeah.

Just where the exes are.

Didn't he have a wife or a girlfriend or someone else that can deal with this?

I don't get it. I don't know anything about Mr. Williamson's personal life.

I don't want to be the beneficiary,

so... I'm good.

Mr. Boole, my job is to oversee our client's wishes.

Once it's in your possession, you can do whatever you want with it.

So I have to deal with this now?

I have to deal with this now? Mr. Boole. That's what you're telling me? I have

to do this? I understand. This is a lot to take in.

Grief has many different stages. We see it all.

Denial and anger especially.

This has nothing to do with grief.

If you do decide on selling, I can put you in touch.

Thank you.

You fucking idiot!

If I never, if I never.

There you are, man.

Shit, I've been looking all over for you.

We've all been looking all over for you. Who are you?

Kitty.

So this was your dad's place?

It's Al's place.

Yeah? So what's his story?

I don't know. I don't know. I left here and decided to never come back.

It's funny how your past always catches up with you.

Not really.

Yeah, well, whatever Al's reason is, there's a pretty nice price tag attached

this building.

Now, as a matter of fact, my business partner... Tried to get out of cell

ago. You know, I'm surprised he lasted this long. I mean, considering the

neighborhood, you know, and all that.

And besides, now, you don't have to leave the house to become a pervert.

You know, Wayne, you're in a very fortunate position.

Is that right?

Because we have a buyer already lined up. Really? Oh, yes.

Who? John Henderson.

He wants to knock down this place, gut it out, do something, turn it into a

-climbing facility.

But I gotta tell you, this place needs some major sterilization, considering

circumstances.

Well, the sooner we can get this done, the better. That's what I like to hear,

baby! Hashtag!

All right.

Now, um, have you spoken to the tenants upstairs?

No. Wayne, what are you doing here? Wayne, you gotta give them a heads up! I

mean, God forbid they should find a decent place to live, right?

Open it.

We're closed, buddy.

Come on, man.

Does it look like this fucking place is open? We're closed.

Hey, you live there?

Your parents live there?

Your mom, your dad?

I'm Wayne.

Uh, what do you want? I'm getting dressed. Sorry, yeah, um, yeah, uh,

who are you?

It's Julia.

Julia.

Julia, maybe you can help me. I'm trying to figure out if Al had, uh, any kids?

No. Family?

No, just you.

Okay. Uh, what about next door? Who's next door?

There's a kid and his mom.

Never see them. They moved in a couple of months ago. Anyways, listen, I just

want to let you know that I'm going to be selling the property.

You're kicking us out.

I'm not kicking you out there.

But yeah, I'm selling the property.

Where am I supposed to go?

I mean, I don't, I don't know.

There's a condo going on.

Do I look like I can afford a fucking condo, Wayne?

What do you want me to do? I'm selling the property.

That's it. I'm selling it.

Your dad took care of us around here. He wouldn't have wanted this.

Lucky you.

Lucky me.

Nice to see you again, Wayne.

What do you think, buddy boy?

Good. You like that?

Yeah. Do you even know what that is? No.

That is your very own movie theater.

So you can watch your movies while your dad is watching his.

Isn't that cool?

Yeah. You want to know how it works?

Yeah. Give me that.

There's nothing in there. Here, put your eyes in there.

You put the disc in.

Slide that in, look in.

Then you take your finger.

and you flick down the switch, it changes the picture.

You happy?

Yeah. Happy birthday, buddy.

Thanks.

Let me tell you something.

There's two types of people in this world.

You got your happy people, and you got your people that like to make people

happy.

The sooner you figure out what kind of person you are,

the better off you're going to be in life.

Does that make sense?

Yeah. Yeah?

Yeah.

So what do you think, Darlene?

What do you think of our growing boy here?

Is he going to grow up to be a degenerate like his old man?

Make people happy?

Just get your mom to clean up around here.

Look, I know something about professionalism and a little something

If you're not mad enough for the job, then maybe Daniel would like to have a

stab at it.

It's your choice, him or you.

It's your choice, him or you.

It's your choice, him or... This is the part I don't understand.

What does my character want, man?

Wayne, what do you think?

What was your dad like?

Like for my character?

No, just in life. Like, what was your dad like? Were you guys similar? Look, I

don't want to talk about this, OK?

Wayne, I got to nail this.

Can you help me? Can you give me some notes? I really need some notes.

OK.

Yeah, you're just saying lines.

You're not understanding what you're even talking about.

So try to connect to that and have more confidence.

Confidence? And just understand your character more.

You got to be that guy. OK.

OK. More confidence.

All right.

Look, I know something about professionalism and a little something

We're closed.

Hey, how you doing?

I'm Ralph Rose.

I was in business. Well, what do you want?

Can you take care of these things? I'm Wayne.

So, yeah.

You're a wiener.

All right. Yeah. Hey, listen, I'm really sorry to hear about your old man.

It's a real kick in the ball. Yeah. You look like a dad to me, too.

Kind of makes us brothers, right? Sort of. Kind of.

Well, he talks about y 'all.

Did he really? Yeah, all the time.

So, um, what are you doing?

Well, I'm sweeping.

No, no, no. I mean theater.

What am I doing? I'm going to sell it.

No, Wiener, you can't sell it.

Listen, your dad and I, we were business partners.

Duvet production.

I don't know anything about that. No, I know, I know, I know. But I got a whole

whack of new material here.

What do you say we throw some on?

See what the old man was up to? No, I can't. No, come on, Wiener. Look, look,

look at five.

Five minutes.

I'm not.

Come on.

We'll make time.

Hey, man.

Told you, keep your eyes inside the thing.

Focus.

Come on, baby.

You're going to get your dad in trouble.

You want to get your old man in trouble?

No. Then do what I tell you to do.

Okay.

You can look now.

All these people, they think the movies that I show are bad.

And they're not.

You don't think that I'm bad, do you, bud? No.

Just a bunch of fucking religious assholes.

No one's getting hurt here.

She's having a good time.

man you gotta stop bugging me about stooges buddy i told you they're really

to get a hold of oh ow listen you want three stooges yeah

there's your priest dude hey look get back inside there's another scary part

hey inside inside stay there you'll have to eat me three stooges

I worked here. We're closed, buddy.

But I worked here.

I worked here.

Who are you?

I'm James.

Where's Al?

Al? Al's dead.

Do I still get my $50?

No. The cinema's closed, so you can't work here anymore.

You're going to have to find a new job. All right?

Sorry. You're going to have to find a new one. I'm not supposed to work.

I don't know, but you can't work here anymore. Well, I was supposed to walk. I

don't know, but you can't work here, all right? No.

Well, I was supposed to walk.

All right, calm down.

Calm down.

All right, I got a bunch of shit on the stage. Why don't you help me move it out

to the curb, okay?

I like to vacuum.

You like to vacuum?

Okay, great. Go vacuum.

Lots of stuff to vacuum.

What are you doing?

I don't have your 50 bucks, but I got a box of porno. All right?

It's all yours.

Jerk your dick right off.

Are you taking off soon?

Yeah, in a few minutes.

You on a...

Grab a drink?

No, I got a lot of work to do.

Big audition tomorrow.

Didn't know you were an actor.

Mm -hmm.

Do you need any help, like running lines or something like that?

Wow.

I mean, it's like you're not really an actor.

No, I appreciate it, but it's not just lines. There's subtext. You got to

understand the character's intentions.

You've got to really know the truth behind the character.

That's okay.

developing a character, you have to push yourself.

Finding your character should not be an easy task.

Stop the fucking acting and play the role.

You want an easy job?

Go be a fucking desk jockey.

When I'm developing a character, I like to go to a place that makes me feel

uncomfortable.

Being in an environment that makes you uneasy can bring out certain emotions

that can apply directly to your character.

Got it?

Hey.

You're going to break the fucking door, man. Relax.

I just want to see some fucking movies, man. There's no movies here. Let's go

home. Come on, man. No, fuck.

No, I want to see my fucking film. I don't have anything to show. I want to

my fucking film.

I want to see my movie.

All right.

One movie.

That's it.

Okay. That's all I wanted.

You dirty f***ing boy.

You made me very happy. Thanks.

Good. Yeah?

You are quite the beauty.

Thank you. Yeah.

What's your name?

Claire Leslie.

Where are you from?

Yeah.

Where do you come from?

Yeah.

What's your background with your nationality?

Have you, uh, have you ever done anything like this before?

Was it your first time?

Yep.

What about you?

So, do you like, uh, what do you like to do? What's your favorite?

Where are you running to?

You say potato, I say potato.

Is it about those other girls?

Hey, where are you running to?

You say potato, I say potato.

I know your game.

Hey, where are you running to?

You say potato, I say potato.

You've got jealousy written all over you.

Is it about those other broads?

Is that what it is, sweetheart?

Listen, I know your type, baby, and you've got jealousy written all over

Listen, come here.

There's a little something you need to learn about life.

There's two types of people, okay?

There's people that are happy, and then there's people that make people happy.

And the sooner you find out which one you are,

the better off you'll be.

I don't want to necessarily do the whole exercise today.

Right, we can tackle it another time as well.

It's fine, we'll just go with it.

Hey, wait.

Chad? Chad.

I'm the writer -director.

Oh, cool.

And Ashley, she's playing Joy from the film. Hi, I'm Wayne.

Nice to meet you. Great.

So, let's just get right into it and get going whenever you're ready. Cool.

Hey, where are you running to?

You're the one that's running. I'm just leaving.

You pay potato, and I pay potato.

Listen, thank you for the drink and everything, but I'm not looking to play

games. Hmm.

Is it about those other girls?

That's presumptuous. Why would I be jealous of other girls that just met

Well, I know your type.

Do you? Yeah.

Look, it's something you need to learn about life.

All right?

It ain't easy.

Great. Thank you.

That's it?

Yeah. Okay. Thanks.

Thanks.

Chad.

Sorry. Sorry, guys.

Can I do it again? I did it at home last night, and it was so much better, and I

know for a fact that this wasn't exactly what you're looking for.

Sure, sure. Just one question. Sure, sure. I promise.

If we're going to do it again, though, I need you to be more aggressive, okay?

So this character, Adam, he...

Doesn't care about speaking his mind. He is aggressive.

He's sexual.

He's a womanizer.

He's a sleeve.

Okay? Okay. I need to see that. Okay. And can I improvise a little bit too?

Sure. Sure. I'm going to be a little more aggressive this time. Yeah. Okay.

Boom.

Okay.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Where are you running to?

I'm the one that's running. I'm just leaving. You're leaving?

Leaving without giving me your number?

Look, thank you for the drink and everything, but I'm not looking to play

tonight. I see.

And about those other broads, is that what it is?

That's presumptuous.

Why would I be jealous of other girls? I don't even know you.

Well, let's just say I got good intuition, honey.

And you have jealousy written all over you.

I can see that, huh? I sure can.

I can see a lot of things.

That little glance you gave me back there, honey.

I wouldn't put too much stock in that.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Whoa, whoa. Listen, baby.

There are two types of people in this world, okay?

There are people that are happy, but then there's people that make people

The sooner you find out which one you are, the better off you'll be.

And which one are you?

Well, why don't we find out?

That was great. That was great. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

I've been thinking a lot about the character.

I like what you've done with the character. Thank you. Cool.

All right.

Cool. Thanks, guys.

You know what? Actually, I'd like to try something.

Sure.

Yep. Great.

The script, there's nudity, there's sex. I think if you've read the script, you

could kind of gather it's a pretty sexual film. It is, yeah. Right? Yeah.

So, Ash, why don't we, let's do the thing we talked about, right? Get going

that. I've made a decision, an artistic decision in this film, to have real sex

in the scene.

Real sex? Like porn? Like porn?

No, not like porn.

Art. You know, this is...

All this content is going to be very tasteful. It's going to be very

Think about a film like Nine Songs or Love, right? We want to use that same

of treatment on this film. I think that it's going to make it really beautiful.

It is. It's going to be really beautiful.

So, I mean, are you okay with that?

Yeah, yeah, totally.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Great. Yeah.

Great, great, great, great. So, then I want to run an exercise.

With you and Ashley. Okay. Okay?

So the big thing in the film is the chemistry between Joyce and Ad. Of

Okay? Of course. So I need to see if you're comfortable. I need to see how

you're going to deal with this. So what I need you to do is take off all your

clothes. I need you to strip down like Ashley here.

And I want you to look at each other. Just very calmly.

I want you to just start exploring each other's bodies.

Okay?

Now?

Yeah, we're all earners here, you know?

Okay.

Underwear, too. Thanks.

Okay.

Great. So, now, let's just correct one another.

Let's meet each other's bodies, right?

Wayne, would you like to meet Ash's body?

Correct her.

Both hands, please.

there you go and a smile from you ashley great there good now now we don't think

about sex here okay this isn't sex this is about connection okay we're making a

connection you're connecting with ashley right totally yeah feeling that

connection that energy positive energy and maybe some eye contact you want to

see her don't just look at her you want to see her

Hey, Ann.

I didn't know you were in here.

What were you and my dad doing?

Playing.

Can I play too?

No, I don't think so.

You want to help me paint my nails?

Come on.

Help me out.

Look.

Come on, help me out. Let's go.

You remember.

Do you want it back?

What the fuck am I going to do with dried up nail polish?

Yeah. You're permanent in that.

I don't remember it like that.

That's the thing about memories.

They get weird.

Throw that shit in the garbage, will ya?

Hey, Chad.

How's it going? I'm great, man. I'm great.

Look, I have incredible news for you.

You got the part. You are Adam. What?

You got the role, my friend.

That's amazing.

Yeah. Welcome aboard.

Thank you. No, thank you. I mean, I've been thinking a lot about the audition,

and I think you really captured the character of Adam. And I'd love to

go further. Whatever you tapped into for that, we need to go deeper, really

harness in on that character you created in the audition and flesh it out even

more. Okay.

We'll get Ashley and you together, and the three of us, we are gonna make

something just vibrate on another level.

J .D., give me a sec. You miss me that much?

Alex, retro S &M fetish.

Throw on to level 42, and whip her ass where the horse will.

She loves it.

J .D., give me a sec.

J .D.

J .D.

Explore your own past.

Tap into those emotions.

You know what emotions are, you fucking idiot?

An authentic performance can only come from your personal experience.

Do you have a personal experience?

You bland fucking piece of fucking cake.

Do you have any emotions inside that giant empty space between your fucking

ears?

Are you listening?

Because I know you can hear me.

But you're not listening.

if you were 20.

How much is it, usually?

It's 10.

10.

Here. Perfect. Thank you.

Hey, but, um, before you go in, is this what Al was like?

What was, like, his character like? What was his demeanor like? Did he put on a

face? Did he hang out there and try to call people in?

Was he loud? Was he quiet? Was he... I just want to go inside.

What are you doing? Oh, I'm working. I thought you were selling the plays.

I think I'm going to give this a try for a bit.

You almost looked the part.

Yeah.

These are all old.

They've been in rotation for a while.

But here is the latest stuff.

So you don't want to throw a lot at once, right? You want to kick it in a

rotation one at a time.

What can you tell me about Al?

The old man.

He liked big titties and ass.

Did he ever

tell you what happened between us?

Oh, he wasn't a heart -to -heart kind of guy.

Might want to start with that.

Making the right decision, Wayne.

This place is his life.

Three for one Wednesdays, folks. Three movies for the price of one.

There you go, big guy.

Bring your friends.

You 18?

Doesn't matter.

Three movies for the price of one.

Look in there.

Yeah.

Oh, in here.

Hey, buddy.

Hey, buddy.

I'm trying to watch the movie. There's a fucking guy smoking in here.

Hey, you can't smoke here.

Hey.

Excuse me.

I need you to put out your cigarette.

Look, man. I'll never have a problem with me smoking here.

Really?

All right, can you do me a favor? The guy back there really doesn't like it.

you just, after you finish this one, just cut it out?

Really?

Yeah. Is he cute?

I don't know. Send him here. I'll deal with him.

All right, I will.

Hey! The guy's still fucking smoking!

Well, I tried talking to him, so...

Well, do something. What do you want me to do?

Do you want a refund? What do you want? Cut him a fucking joint. You're running

here. Why don't you talk to him yourself?

Fuck you. Oh, fuck you, you degenerate fucking bum.

What is she doing, man?

Right. A frat party here means a sorority party somewhere else.

Chances of that are five to ten pretty slim.

That's not looking good.

You know what we gotta do? No.

Carpet DM.

What does that mean, we're going home already?

It means grow a fucking pair.

Hey, I'm tired of screwing blondes. I'm getting a brunette tonight.

Well, quit grabbing your crotch in public, man. I'll take you to fucking

karaoke.

Know what I mean?

It took less than a minute and turned it into a fucking ordeal.

And I'd rather be in a Lebanese terrorist camp than watch that.

What are you guys doing, chopping wood?

But there was...

Small moment of pleasure.

You know what you could do?

Buy Tupperware. At least your sandwiches will be fresh.

I'm sorry, Jimmy.

I've been locked up in this mine for two years.

Well, that's not my problem.

I'm sorry, Jimmy.

I've been locked up in this mine for two years.

Well, that's not my problem.

You have to move on.

You have to move on.

Wait! Wait! What the fuck is this?

You motherfucker! What the fuck do you think you're doing?

I'm supposed to kill you!

Waiter!

Wait.

Can I mop now?

If you don't commit 110 % to your character, then you're wasting

fucking time.

Robert, Bobby De Niro put on 60 pounds to play Jake LaMotta. What the fuck are

you going to do to help you get into the headspace of your character?

How far are you willing to go?

A physical transformation in your character will inform other internal

decisions. Do you understand what the fuck I'm saying?

Nothing is more important than that.

Believe me when I say that.

James, I'm watching these.

He needs his movies back. These are my movies.

But I'm watching. I know, but they're my movies. I need them for my character.

But they're ours. You gave them to James.

No, this is my book.

I need this one, too. Don't get me in trouble.

You see that?

Uh -huh.

That's my dad.

Oh. That's my dad. If that was your dad, wouldn't you want your DVD back?

No, I don't.

You would.

Dude, this is my doll.

Grab me some more later, okay, bud?

Do I still have a job?

Wayne?

Hey, come on in.

I've been trying to get a hold of you.

This is John Henderson.

Hey. Right.

I've been telling you about John. John owns the buildings next door. Yep. Yeah,

where he's interested in this property.

Dean tells me there's a lot of history.

History?

If these walls could talk.

What are you doing?

I'm working.

Working? Working.

You told me this place was closed.

It is closed.

He's working at closing the place.

We thought we could take a tour and chat.

Oh, you guys want to go in? Yes. Catch a little flick? Yeah, sure, no problem.

Ten bucks.

$10 for what?

$10 admission.

You guys got to pay to play, boys. Come on. I'm getting a freebie. What the hell

is going on here? Oh, my God.

Oh, Jesus Christ. What the fuck are you doing? I'm taking a shit. Every day it's

something new with you. Why do you have your fucking pants off? Man, you want to

take a shit? No, no, no, no, no. Why would you take your pants off to go to

bathroom and take a shit? Shit with your pants on? Get your pants or get the

fuck out of here. Fuck you, man.

All right. Get the fuck out of here. Get the fuck away from me.

I don't give a fuck. You fucking walk around with your balls out.

No, no, you're walking home like that with your balls around. I hope it's not

fucking cold out.

You go back inside, put on your fucking pants like a gentleman.

Okay, man.

Jesus Christ.

You want to go see a movie or what?

Good luck, Wayne.

fucking dong on her.

Hey, Weiner.

How you doing?

What is this?

Some sort of gimmick for the regulars? No, no, no. They're my clothes.

Look. When are we filming next, by the way? I got to talk to you about this. I

got some ideas for some scenes. Boy, you're going to like it. Wayne, Wayne.

This is not like fucking your old lady.

Al did it, right? No, I got to get in there. Al hadn't performed in years.

Lucien's our guy.

He's good. No, Lucien.

Come on. You're going to let me film, and we're going to film, and let's do

No, no, no.

You don't understand. I have to do this.

I need to do this.

I really do. What you got to do is get rid of that shit off your face, man.

Okay. Okay. Listen, you just show the films.

Okay. You let me make them.

I mean, you want to be like how you tried me.

That's what he did.

Always lived here?

Oh, no. This place is Al's.

And who's Al?

That's a good question.

Okay.

Chad did an amazing job on the script, hey?

Yeah, totally. I'm really psyched that we're doing it. Yeah, me too.

You know, the more I read about it, the more I realize that Joyce is just

desperate for love and affection.

You know, she's been pushed away her whole life. She's a bit damaged.

Yeah. I don't know, the whole thing is still so...

Unnerving. I mean, I haven't even told my parents yet about the sex.

Oh.

You're not even a little bit nervous?

About what, the sex? Yeah.

Yeah.

All right, so let's get into it, then.

Okay.

At what age are you looking at? 34.

Um... You want to do the whole thing?

Yeah.

Okay. What are you doing?

With this, I'm going to record our rehearsals.

That way, I can study our characters later.

I can send you a copy if you want.

Sure. Yeah?

All right.

You're going to be holding it the whole time?

Yeah, just pretend to me. Don't worry about it.

I'm sorry. The mustache.

Is that you? It's my character.

Okay.

All right, let's start from the top.

All right. Ready?

Hey, where are you running to?

Listen, this has been a sobering experience. Look at the camera.

Listen,

this has been a sobering experience, but it's late.

Oh, late?

So cute.

I know your game.

No games. I just have to get home.

What's the next line? Uh, Adam puts his arm around Joyce.

Adam playfully bites Joyce's lower lip.

Adam places Joyce's hand on his crotch.

Do you actually want me to touch it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Come on, let's get into it.

I'm just doing what Chad said, you know, trying to get into the character,

right?

Right. Let's just get past all the awkwardness now.

Sure, okay.

Okay, I think that's good. No, no, no. Be your character. Be your character. Be

my character?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And what? Sleep with you?

Yeah, that's what we're doing. It's the point of rehearsing. No, we're

rehearsing. I know, but Chad said that it's better if we do this now and we

in the character, right?

Listen, I think I... I think I should go.

Really?

Yeah. No, it's just... It's way too overwhelming, okay?

I'm having second thoughts about the sex.

I don't understand why you don't want to do this.

How is the movie going to get made?

I hear what you're saying. I know, but listen. I need you to understand what

saying.

Okay? I do think it's best if Chad were there with us.

Okay? So I'll see you in rehearsal.

Oh, my God.

Listen, Julia, I need you to come over for a bit.

What for?

Well, I thought we could make a little movie. Oh, yeah.

What kind of movie?

I don't know.

I don't think so.

Come on, just one little... Hey, hey, baby. Baby.

I got a lot of good memories with your dad.

Mm -hmm. And I'm not repeating them.

So put me in a nice memory.

Oh my God.

I'll help you.

I ain't gonna fuck you.

Sweetie.

See you later.

There's two types of people in this world.

There's the people that are happy, la -di -da.

And then there's the people that make people happy.

So the sooner you find out which one you are, the better off you'll be.

Which one are you?

Why don't we find out?

Okay, Stallion, okay.

Good. No, no, that's good.

That felt good.

Yeah, it was all right.

The chemistry, it really needs to pop.

I want to feel like I want to have sex, too.

So how are we feeling about this, the sex scenes and stuff? I'm feeling good,

yeah.

And okay, because, I mean, ideally, I'd like to get a little bit farther today

in the rehearsal. What do you think?

I thought we would maybe wait.

Until the day of? Oh, until the day of. Yeah, do it the first time on set.

So you would feel better about it if it was the first time right there on the

set? 100%. Me personally, I feel like it'd be good to get out of the way

just so we can relax. I don't think so.

Yeah, I mean, okay.

Yeah, I'm okay with that.

So then, I guess...

We'll just work on the new theme then, which is for you, Wayne. It's actually

not for you. I'm just going to run the launch. Okay, sure, sure, sure.

70. It's 73.

So why don't you just, you read that, and I'm going to go talk to her. And

basically just, I added a little storyline here about you having a kid.

You left?

A kid?

Yeah, kind of add a little depth.

i don't know i can't picture it what does he know about being a father i

know what he knows about it you need to know what he knows about it so that's

that's your your work to do i've kind of we've talked about this mustache too by

the way i mean oh yeah this really helps like people look at me completely

different yeah okay if you want a mustache you got a girl a mustache you

wear a fake mustache it doesn't look real anyway i'll be i'll be back read it

over and uh well yeah you're you're dead now so enjoy that

You have to push yourself.

Digging deep.

A -E -I -O -U, you fucking retard.

Stop hanging on to your balls.

Or your vagina.

Do you have a vagina?

What is this place?

Not bad, eh? Yeah. Come on in. Come on in. You like cake?

Sure. You like chocolate?

All right.

Who is this, Wayne? Oh, that's Darlene.

No. The kid.

I don't know. All right. Really basic stuff.

Press record.

Take the lens cap off. Idiot. What's he doing here? He's playing Wayne.

Okay, I think we're ready. Call action, and then we'll play it out, all right?

Okay.

Action. Hey, Wainer.

Happy... Don't eat the cake yet, buddy.

Don't eat the cake. Hold on one second. No, no, no.

Okay? Just stay there. Smile.

Okay.

Wainer, happy birthday, buddy.

Hey, I got you something.

Here you go.

Present from your dad.

Okay, open it up.

Open it up.

Open it up.

Yeah.

Whoa.

What is that?

It's your own movie theater, buddy.

Here, let me show you. Fits your eyes.

Yeah, there you go.

Now you can watch your own movies while Daddy watches his.

All right, here. Hey, I got to tell you something.

There's two kinds of people in this world.

There's people that are happy, and there's people that make people happy.

The sooner you find out which one you are,

the better off you'll be.

Hey, check this out.

Do you want to paint my nail?

Wayne!

Okay, cut.

He doesn't want to do it, Wayne. All right.

He's scared. No, he's not scared.

He's fucking scared. He's scared, buddy.

It's a bad idea, Wayne. No, it's fine. Everyone needs to stay in the moment.

Let's relax.

Oh, yeah. You had the wrong line. Yeah, right.

Say the line that you said.

Uh, with Wayne.

That was 30 fucking years ago. You think I remember? Yeah, you came in, you're

like, oh, hi, honey.

Uh, hi, honey, how are you? Or, no, no, sorry.

Hi, honey.

Hi, honey, I didn't know you were in here.

Okay. And then you give him the nail file. Yeah, okay, sure.

Like, I remember that.

You win.

Go.

Oh, hey, honey. I didn't know you were in here.

Would you like to paint my nail?

Got a nice color.

Wait. He's fucking scared.

You gotta take it, okay? You have to take the nail polish from her.

He's scared, Wayne.

He's scared. He's not scared. Are you scared, buddy? He's not scared, Wayne.

You're scaring him by saying scared.

He's not scared.

He's fine.

Are you filming the fucking floor?

He's not scared. He's fine. Let's just do it again. You can do this. You're an

actor, all right? You've got this. You take the nail polish and you rub it on

her nail. That's it.

Okay, try it again.

Try it again. Why do you hold the camera up?

Do you want to paint my nails?

Here.

You want me to show you how it's done?

You got this, all right?

Bruce is going to film.

I'm going to tell you what to do. I'm going to tell you step -by -step what to

do. Hey!

Waiter! There he is. Ralph!

What the fuck happened to you? Who are you?

Bruce. Bruce, he's helping us out as well, okay?

We're shooting a movie. We're shooting a movie, all right?

Whoa, Wayne, Wayne, what's going on here?

He can't be in here. He's the star of the movie. He's in the theme.

Wayne, this is no place for a kid. Come on.

Don't touch him, dude, okay?

I need you to be right. I need you to be over here. You're going to use the

glory hole. You're going to take your pants off. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why am I going to take my pants off? Why do you fucking think you're going to

take your pants down?

You show him your dick. No, you're out of your fucking mind. It's like too

man. It's a memory.

It's a memory.

We're reliving the memory. Listen to me. I know you're kind of fucked up because

you're old, man. But I'm not fucking doing this, okay? Let's calm down, all

right? You know what an actor is?

That's what you're going to be. Showing my dick to a kid is not acting. I'm

going to come in and I'm going to stop you. I'm going to stop you. You're

fucking rolling the camera. Showing my dick to a kid is not acting. You're not

showing your dick to the camera, okay? I'm going to come in and stop you.

You've got to think about the business. You've got to think about everything Al

has created. This is what Al created.

This right here.

You're going to put your fucking dick in this glory hole right now.

Fuck you, Wayne. I'm out of here.

What the fuck happened to you?

It's part of the movie.

You're not Al, honey.

Not even close.

What do you want to be Al for?

Al didn't even want to be Al.

Take care, Wayne.

You getting past being an actor.

Okay?

All right, guys. Let's lock it up. Roll tab. Roll camera.

Let's get the robes off here.

Scene 32, shot A, take 1.

Okay, cut.

What are we feeling? How are we feeling, everybody?

Not good.

Okay, yeah, that's fine. We'll go again. It's looking great in the mirror. I

don't want to do it again.

Can we get some rose? Okay, guys, I know you got some jitters here, but we've

talked about this. It's not just jitters. Yeah, I know.

It's okay to feel uncomfortable, but we need to use that energy and we need to

put it into the character. I mean, this is the truth that we've been talking

about. I've been trying this whole time to funnel it into my character. You

never let me speak.

Okay, look, look, this is, I guarantee you it's working.

So let's just take that energy, that nervousness, get outside of ourselves.

I mean, come on, back me up here, Wayne. You can see this is working. We're

doing some great stuff.

She's not comfortable.

Okay. Okay, wait. Everybody sit down. Have a seat. Have a seat. Have a seat.

Have a seat.

We have a lot of work to do.

We've got many things to get through today.

So I really, I need you guys to just do your job. Get through this. We need to

follow through. We need to be professional and we need to get this

can't we try this scene without the background? We can do it without.

I need you to do what we agreed upon.

The whole point of this is to be organic, to be visceral, and I have been

about that, and you... Let me be clear about that. I'm not doing it.

I guess you'd be fucking happier if this was a fucking shampoo commercial, huh?

Fuck.

Okay, that's going to be hard to get past.

I think maybe... I mean, I'll let her cool down a little bit, but I think

we could talk to her, you and I, together.

I don't know. I'm feeling like I'm being walled out here, and I think we're

losing sight of the art of the film, the point.

And I know you're on board. You back me up a little bit, and we can get her back

around onto our point of view. What?

I'm out. You're out. I'm out.

You fucking prick.

I'm done, dude. Fucking professionals here on the fucking set.

Fuck, it's closed, man.

Hey,

hey!

Open the door, man.

Open the door!

Come on!

You're being a fucking asshole, man.

Fuck you.

La, la, la, la.

La,

la, la, la.

La, la, la, la.