Original subtitles

You burned my apartment down?

Still there, Leroy.

Just what it looks like a patio right now.

If I continue to hold back, I take the risk of losing her.

Mrs. Karofsky,

I'd fight for my woman.

Oh, I can't stay. He's really infatuated with me right now.

If you and Miss Grant were engaged...

That way we can all be a family.

Thank you.

What are you doing here, Tina? You're supposed to be in school.

You didn't punch another kid out, did you?

I couldn't make it to school today, Leroy.

Something kind of came up.

What? Hi, Tina.

How you doing, honey?

Things could be better, Miss Grant.

Well, why don't we talk about that over dinner?

Hey, a new pizza parlor just opened up around the corner.

My treat?

Why set up a pizza? Look, I thought out some chicken for me and Tina's dinner.

All I have to do is throw another one on the fire.

Sounds good to me. I'll be in the shop. Wait for me. Ten minutes.

gonna have to throw those chickens on the fire, Leroy. They've already been on

the fire.

What are you talking about?

See, I wasn't actually cooking chickens. I was cooking ravioli. And then it was

time for my favorite soup. So I sort of took my eyes off the pan. Next thing you

know, the ravioli is burned.

Well, how did the chicken get burned, sweetheart?

Leroy, how'd you get to be so thick? When you got three alarm fire going on,

ain't thinking about no chickens. You think about getting out of there.

Wait a minute. Three alarm fire. You burned my apartment down?

Still there, Leroy.

Just what it looks like a patio right now.

All my furniture?

Gone. All my clothes?

History. Oh, man.

I'm ruined. I have nothing left.

You got me, Leroy.

Oh, Leroy.

I'd really love to take her in, but my hours are very erratic right now.

I'm writing on my novel again.

About four years invested in it. My building doesn't allow children or dogs.

Where'd you spend the night last night, honey?

At a neighbor's. But we can't stay there.

Oh, I'd be happy to take little Tina and Leroy.

Thanks a lot, Miss Bird. Look, you'll love her. She's no trouble at all.

Just don't let her do any cooking. I'd ask you to stay with me, but I have a

house guest.

A Chinese cellist who also happens to play table tennis.

Her name is Lu Ching.

Thanks anyway for the offer.

hookers get published prisoners get published impeached presidents get

why can't i get published i'm sure it's a very good book elizabeth you know it's

probably too good that's it you see let me just read you the opening passage a

gray mist spread over the bayou like a blanket of misery gray foot

soldiers in gray uniforms moved like gray ghosts in an unearthed dream.

Sounds like a real upper.

You haven't asked if you could stay with me yet, Leroy.

That's all right, Miss Grant. I wouldn't think of putting you out. Don't be

silly.

You know what? We could even get in some extra rehearsal for the school

fundraiser. I don't know.

Would you get off it?

You're staying with me. That's final.

Thank you.

I know a lot of books have been written about the South, but nobody's ever

caught the drama, the adventure.

Miss Sherwood, did you ever read Gone with the Wind?

So, how does spaghetti and meatballs sound?

Sounds good to me. Where do you want to go?

Your place. I'm cooking. That's my specialty.

Well, only a fool could turn down an invitation like that.

I'll see you tonight, baby.

Okay.

Miss Branson, I... Yes, she is.

She makes somebody a wonderful Mother Sunday.

You got the hearts for her?

Tina, Miss Grant and I are friends.

Oh, come on, B -boy. I saw the way you two were dancing together today.

Sparks were fun.

You gonna marry her?

No, you're crazy. You're nuts.

Can't believe it.

When did you get back?

This afternoon.

I came right over here as soon as that plane landed.

I couldn't wait.

You couldn't wait?

I thought you and I would have dinner tonight.

You thought we would...

Well, it's not like I don't have any social life. I mean, you can't just pop

here and decide we're having dinner tonight without giving me a call,

giving me any kind of a warning.

About 8 o 'clock?

You got it.

Candlelight something?

You got it.

My place?

You got it. No, no, wait. You live in Connecticut. I have to be up early. I

to be for rehearsal in the morning.

Oh, that's right.

It's, uh, it's a school, uh...

Benefit. For your benefit.

For my benefit.

Would you go on out of here and go take somebody's temperature?

I'll take your temperature at 8 o 'clock.

Oh, Carl, he's just an old friend.

Looked to me like a close friend.

Yeah, I guess you could say that. We've been seeing each other on and off for

quite some time now.

And what about Leroy?

What about him? You got him coming over and you brought what's -his -face home,

too. Now, is that any way to treat your houseguest?

Leroy, you're right. I forgot.

Well, that's really going to be awkward having a houseguest tonight.

Mm -hmm.

Tina.

Honey, maybe you could tell your Uncle Leroy for me that he should spend the

night with a friend tonight, just for tonight.

All right, I'll tell him. Oh, thank you, honey. I'm sure he's going to

understand.

Where are you going?

Oh, there are those times in a woman's life where she's just got to have a new

dress.

When you're older, honey, you'll understand.

You don't have to be too old to understand what's happening around here.

What are you over here mumbling about?

Oh, me? I was just trying to remember what Miss Grant asked me to tell you.

What was that?

Well, if I could remember, I'd be telling you.

Tina. Oh, okay, okay.

She wants you to make sure that you get to her place extra early tonight.

Extra early?

She said that?

Oh, and Leroy, why don't you fix us some ravioli out? I think she'd like that.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Tonight.

embarrassed about last night.

It really shouldn't have happened.

You don't have to be embarrassed, Grant.

I mean, you're an adult.

I'm an adult.

Your life is your life. No one's good, least of all mine.

So, who is this guy, and does he deserve it?

Oh, Carl is wonderful, Leroy.

He's the pediatrician I told you about.

It looks like I'm going to have to find another place to stay.

At least until they put up my...

Ceilings and my walls and my doors.

No, no, no, no, no. Carl has his own apartment in Connecticut.

Last night was last night.

So why do I still feel so bad?

I keep telling you it's not your fault, really.

I mean, everyone on the subway agreed with me. The subway? You better get out

here.

Just do me a favor. Next time you're in Carl, you know, just tell me.

But I did tell you.

You did?

Well, at least I asked Tina to tell you.

Oh, I guess she couldn't get to you in time.

Oh, she got to me in time. She just neglected to tell me.

Why would she do that?

Oh, no reason. She's just a little kid. She probably forgot.

Leroy.

Now, remember, she's just a kid.

If you're going to reprimand her, be gentle.

Oh, I will.

Leroy Johnson, what are you doing? I'm getting ready to beat my nieces behind.

Tina is such a nice little girl.

Miss Berg, you think she's a nice little girl? Why, you do. Last night, Mr. Berg

and Tina and I had the most lovely time.

Yeah, it was so much fun.

We watched Star Trek all night and Mr. Berg wore his five ears. And tonight

we're going to a mental health fair.

Mental health fair? You need to go to the mental health fair to do you some

good. Don't pay him no mind, Mrs. Berg. He's been having lots of problems.

Woman trouble.

Yeah, and the woman is eight years old.

kind of jammies he's wearing.

We've got to make plans. What are we going to wear tonight?

But that's a puppy, Tina. I don't know. We want to look our best at a mental

health fair.

Elizabeth, I've been looking everywhere for you. I took these letters out of

your mailbox earlier.

They look like they're for publishers.

Thanks.

Well, aren't you going to open them?

I don't think that's necessary to you. You can hold them up to the light and

there's no checks inside.

Just more yellow rejection clips.

Funny.

Yellow used to be my favorite color.

Maybe my book needs more historical detail.

Like the time the entire Louisiana cotton crop was wiped out by the boll

infestation. 1892. What do you think?

You think that would spice it up? I'm not looking to spice it up. I want to

engross my readers.

Sometimes it's the spice that does the engrossing, Elizabeth.

Here you are, Miss Sherwood.

What's all that?

Bestsellers. What the public at large is buying.

Rage of Angels, Sidney Sheldon. The Carpet Baggies, Harold Robbins.

Valley of the Dolls, Jackie Suzanne. We mustn't overlook that one. I won't

overlook all of them. No intelligent reader would consider wasting time on

trash. Don't you agree?

Oh, yes. Yes, I do. Oh, my soul runs naked by John Freeman.

Well, I don't think I've read this one. Can I borrow it, Mrs. Bird? Well, you

have to get in line.

Mr. Sharofsky has dibs on that one. Look, why don't you try Tinseltown

Tinseltown Wives. What's this one about?

It's about all these wives in Hollywood married to these famous men, just bored

to death.

They have all kinds of money to spend and all the trouble they get into.

Really? What kind of trouble?

Thanks, Mr. Douglas. It's a good shampoo.

Yeah.

You know, Mr. Sharofsky, out of all the years that I've known you, I've never

seen you use the school shower before.

Well, my social life has never been quite this hectic before.

I always had time to shower at home.

So, you and Lou Ching are really doing the town, huh?

You know something?

When I first met him, I never thought it could happen.

That age difference.

You know, I'm sort of going through the same thing myself right now.

I'm kind of fond of someone older than me.

But it makes no difference once I'm with her, because all I think about is her.

I feel exactly the same way.

You know, Mr. Townsend, I'm not in the habit of engaging in locker room banter,

but I have a problem and I need someone to lay it on me.

Lay it on me, Mr. Sharofsky. Go ahead.

My problem is looching.

I have never beaten her at table tennis before.

I've been holding back.

She likes to win, huh?

Last night we were playing at a club. The man next to us beat the socks off

And she seemed quite attracted to him.

The problem seems simple to me. Why don't you just beat her?

But if I do, I take the risk of hurting her. And if I don't, if I continue to

hold back, I take the risk of losing her.

Mr. Parowski, hot fight for my woman.

Even if it was with a ping -pong paddle.

I like that.

Mr. Johnson, I like that.

John will be going to school, won't you? I'm a child prodigy. Now, what's your

story? I'm looking for Lydia Grant.

What for?

It's a personal call.

We have a date.

Not with Miss Grant, you don't. She already has a date.

Yeah, with me. Are you sure? Because she just left here about 15 minutes ago

with a real good looking guy.

Well, maybe it was with one of the other teachers.

Not the way those two were nothing.

There ain't no way for teachers to...

talking about the same Lydia Grant?

There's only one that works at this school.

I see.

Hey, don't get so down in the dumps. You can have another date with her.

She has lots of boyfriends.

Thank you very much, little girl.

This is Lydia Grant calling.

Has he checked in yet?

He did.

He's where?

At the opera. Are you sure?

Oh, no.

No, no, no. That's fine. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much.

He's at the opera.

I heard.

Why is he at the opera?

I don't know. Maybe he wants to hear people sing.

Guys don't go to the opera. Guys go to the opera when women drag them there.

Carl has another date.

Come on, Al.

How do you know that for sure?

You know, just when you think you know someone...

Something happens.

You really hurt, aren't you?

No, no.

I'm just a little upset.

A little disappointed.

A little angry.

And very deeply hurt.

And I'm hurt, too.

Leroy, you're so sweet.

You're probably the best friend I have in the whole world. Did you know that?

I know you're my best friend in the whole world, Miss Grant.

Leroy, do me a favor.

If I promise not to call you Mr. Johnson, do you think you could call me

I think I can handle that.

Okay, now you have to do me a favor.

What? Let me cheer you up.

How?

Well, we still have that dance number to work on.

Leroy. I think you better go back to calling me Miss Grant.

You first.

Well, I took your advice. We were playing table tennis last night and I

pants of Lu Cheng.

What happened?

What happened?

I'm here, aren't I?

Oh, and she broke my lucky paddle, too.

You never should have listened to me in the first place.

Oh, no, I enjoyed beating her. It was kind of liberating.

But what about you? What are you doing here?

Don't ask.

Well, I better go shower.

May I borrow your shampoo again, please?

Sure. You can have it.

I'll probably stay right here for the rest of my life.

What was Carl doing calling on you so early in the morning?

He wasn't exactly calling.

But see, he had stayed over too.

Oh? But he didn't know Leroy was there. In fact, I didn't know Leroy had stayed

over either.

Well, how could you not know you invited him? But I uninvited him.

You see, Carl came in unexpectedly, and the whole thing blew up in my face. Carl

stood me up, and then Leroy kissed me. Wait.

Leroy kissed you?

Well, it was a very innocent kiss, Elizabeth.

Well, not totally innocent.

He's really infatuated with me right now.

I see.

Anyway. Wait just a minute. Hold on.

I want you to start again, slowly, from the beginning.

From the beginning? Yes.

You know, the part where Leroy and Carl run into each other?

Leroy and Carl?

Yeah, you know, the talking.

Oh. Well, it all started that morning when I went up to the kitchen to go and

get some fresh squeeze of juice.

Everything's quiet here in the eye of the storm.

What lies ahead?

No way of knowing.

Don't be afraid of what you can't see.

my soul from where I

I want to be right beside you.

What am I doing?

You're avoiding me.

I guess that's because I feel so stupid about last night.

Well, you weren't being stupid.

Well, I wasn't being smart.

Leroy, we've been friends a long time.

And I want us to go on being friends.

I guess I just feel so embarrassed.

Well, you shouldn't be.

It's all right. It's all right.

Still feel kind of stupid.

When you're being stupid, I'll let you know.

May I speak to Lydia Grant, please?

Who's calling, please?

Dr. Randolph.

Carl.

Just a minute. See if I can get her.

McBurn.

Yes, what is it, dear?

Remember that kid you told me to stay away from in your building?

Yes, I do.

Well, this is her on the phone.

She won't give me a break.

She's always trying to borrow money from me. And the other day, she hit me in

the elephant.

Would you tell her...

Class off.

She doesn't want to talk to you or see you ever again.

Too rough?

Not at all. Sometimes you gotta put a kid in her place.

Now don't forget to give her these, Leroy. Women love flowers.

What's it to you?

I got an interest in this.

Too much of an interest if you ask me. Now go.

But you are gonna tell her how you feel, aren't you?

Tina, you know I'm going to tell her I just need you around while I'm doing it.

Now, please go.

Oh, Leroy.

Are you going to propose?

Look, it's a little too early to be proposing, Tina. I'm just going to ask

to give me a chance. Now, swirl.

I'm telling you, Leroy, we got a real chance. I mean, you got a real chance

here. I really don't know about this.

I wanted to tell you... What I mean... What I'm trying to say

is that... Hold that thought. Hang on right there. Be right back. That's

probably the plumber. He's got to come... Hi, Toto.

I'm sorry to barge in here like this, but I do not accept this.

I need some kind of an explanation. You need an explanation.

At least.

Maybe I'm some kind of a fool, but I thought we had something very special

on. So did I.

Something solid, something we can build a future on. Is that why you took

another woman to the opera last night? I went to the opera because you had a

date. What other woman? What date?

Oh, come on, Lydia.

Don't play games with me. That little child prodigy told me everything.

Tina told you that I had a date last night?

Well, didn't you?

Yeah, I had a date with you.

Don't speak to me.

Ever.

What'd I do?

You lie, you cheat, you manipulate.

What else?

Oh, and you think it's cute, too, don't you?

You know, I'm really fed up with you, Tina.

I really am.

You come here, you burn down my apartment, you mess up my life, and then

like you don't even care.

You got everybody thinking you're having such a rough time.

You know what I think?

I think you're just a spoiled little brat.

Well, you don't have to worry, because I'll be leaving soon, and you'll never

have...

You promise?

You'll be sorry, deep boy.

I doubt it, Tina.

Get out of my face. Get out of my life. You wouldn't touch your life with a

ten...

direct me to his house.

Oh, Lu Ching.

I'm pleased to meet you. I'm Mrs. Bird.

I am pleased.

You've got yourself a very nice cat.

Oh, I am pleased.

Lu Ching, how nice to see you.

Yes,

it's true. I did let you in.

Because it meant... so much to you.

I think we should discuss this somewhere where we have more privacy.

No. No.

I do not think of you as a sex advocate.

I want to thank you for letting me read the first chapter of your new book.

Well, what do you think?

Well, don't pull your punches, Mrs. Berg. I can take it.

All right.

It's cheap, it's trashy, and it's sordid.

I know.

Congratulations. I think we've got a real winner there.

Do you?

Oh, Mrs. Berg.

You see, once I get established, they'll be begging me for my book on the Bo

Weaver infestation.

Oh, I'm sure.

which I gotta make you understand.

See, I messed up, and I messed up bad.

And I know my Uncle Leroy's really mad at me.

See, you've known Miss Grant for a lot of years. He's a dancer just like her.

And we're like, you're a doctor, and you only met Miss Grant a few months ago.

How long have you had this sore throat?

Uh, about a week.

See, the thing is, Miss Grant's always loved Leroy. They've just been waiting

for him to graduate so they could get married and adopt.

Uncle Leroy seems like a very fine man.

He is.

And I'm sorry if I caused anyone any pain.

So if you could just love someone else?

I love Miss Grant.

And there's no way you'll give her up?

Afraid not.

And that's it?

Well, there is one other thing.

What's that?

Your tonsils have to come out.

If I die, Vivo, I just want you to know I never meant you no...

Tina, we're just talking tonsils here.

I know. I just feel a whole lot better going into surgery if you and Miss Grant

were engaged.

That way we could all be a family.

But we are a family, Tina, and we love you.

Yeah, but we don't all live together.

I'm holed up in Motown.

Well, that don't mean you can't come visit us.

When? After we've had some rest.

Leroy.

Soon. Not too soon, but soon.

Everybody has their tonsils out.

You know, I bet that guy calls to really doctor.

Mm -hmm.

Probably a nice guy, too.

Oh, yeah, he's great.

You know, Leroy, the other night before Carl came in in my apartment, you were

about to say something to me. What were you going to say?

Well, I just got some new ideas for the dance number for the benefit.

You always bring flowers when you want to talk about dance numbers?

No, not really.

Sometimes, you know, we can think we know somebody so well, and for some

they think different to us.

I think that's what happened to you when you stayed with me.

Yeah.

That's all over now.

Is it?

Maybe not, but I'm working on it.

you as a friend.

Miss Grant, you're not going to lose me as a friend.

I just got to find myself another girl.

Oh, she's going to be a lucky little wench.