Original subtitles

Seasons greetings, winslows!

Everybody, look!

It's the nerd Of christmas past.

Uncle steve, Why are you

Wearing a fire Extinguisher?

Ah...Well, richie, This is my latest invention--

The amazing urkel Super-turbo tree flocker!

A tree flocker?

Yep. I can flock anything In less than 30 seconds.

Go home, steve.

Fiddly-dee. What's this I see?

Could it be A...Christmas tree?

Steve, go.

I cannot go. Oh, my. Oh, no.

Why, this christmas tree Is without snow.

I'm not interested.

Oh, gosh, oh, gee. A cranky mocker,

So rest your tush In this here rocker

While I demonstrate My turbo flocker.

Oh!

Aah!

Did I do that?

Yeah, do it again.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside These gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love *

* of the family **

[horn honks Jingle bells]

Laura, my pet, Your sleigh awaits.

Steve, take that thing home

And hang it back up On your christmas tree.

Doing a little Last-minute Christmas shopping?

My cheerleading squad Was handing out toys To orphans,

And I had this gift On layaway.

It's snowing To beat the band,

And you could Catch your death.

Now let me Drive you home.

Whoa!

[glass shatters]

Steve!

Don't worry, I'm fine.

This bag broke my fall.

[sound of broken glass]

And my fall Broke this bag.

Steve, this was A crystal vase for my mother.

Don't worry. I'll give you the gift I got for my mom--

A handsome pair Of earth shoes!

I have had it With you, steve!

Wind up that car And drive out of my life.

Laura, you don't Mean that.

Yes, I do.

I don't want To think about you,

Talk about you, Or hear about you.

From now on, You don't exist.

Now go!

Alright, laura.

I'll go.

But I'll never Stop loving you.

You always do this.

You mess up my life,

And then When I get mad at you,

You make me feel guilty About it.

This time it isn't Going to work.

You know what?

What?

I wish you knew what It was like to be me.

Oh!

I'm sorry. I didn't See you sit down.

It's like You appeared Out of thin air.

I did.

Now, don't be Frightened, laura.

How'd you know My name?

I've never seen You before.

I know, but I've Been watching you

Ever since the day You were born.

I'm your guardian angel.

Goodbye.

Aah!

How'd you do that?

I told you, I'm an angel.

Oh, yeah?

Then where Are your wings And your harp?

I haven't got My wings yet,

And I play The keyboards.

You better leave me alone. My dad's a cop.

Chill, baby girl.

You still don't Believe me, do you?

Well, check this out.

What's that?

That's my remote control.

What does it control?

Just about everything.

Like, uh...

You tired of snow?

That could've been A coincidence.

Uh...

Let's try this one.

Alright?

Whoa!

Now, that's good.

Thank you very much.

You should hear me Play keyboards.

I do this ray charles Number.

You're really My guardian angel?

Yep. Tyrone p. Jackson, But you can call me ty.

I was sent down here To grant your wish.

Wish?

Mm-hmm. If I do A good job, I get My wings.

Oh, really?

If you go to a restaurant In heaven and you don't Have your wings,

They sit you right next To the kitchen.

You said something about Granting my wish.

What wish?

You wished That steve urkel

Could find out What it's like to be you.

So here we go.

Hey! That's my house.

Yeah. We're watching abc--

The angel Broadcasting channel.

Great reception. Look at that.

I'm flat broke, dad.

Could you give me money To finish my christmas Shopping?

How much do you need?

Well, now, That depends.

How nice a gift Do you want?

I'll tell you what.

Why not give me cash For christmas?

Thanks for the present, son.

Dad, cash is so...

Impersonal.

Why can't you manage money Like your brother steve?

He finished His shopping weeks ago

And never asked For a penny.

Hey, dad, edward.

I'm going to the mall To hand out toys To orphans.

That's wonderful, son.

Ahh...Look at him.

Charming...

Handsome, popular.

Steve is the perfect son.

Steve is my brother?

No, he's eddie's brother.

You wished steve Could find out what It's like being you.

You're about to find out What it's like being Steve urkel.

Season's greetings, Winslows!

That horrible-looking Person is me?

Afraid so. You're the winslow Family's

Annoying next-door Neighbor laura urkel.

I look like A total geek.

Turn it off.

Not yet.

You know What it looks like To be steve urkel,

But you don't know What it feels like.

Hey!

Wh-what are you doing?

Hi, carl.

Eddo.

Steve, my little Stud muffin.

What do you want, Laura?

Your hand in marriage,

But I'll settle For a christmas kiss.

Forget it.

Come on.

Lay one on me, Macho man.

Get lost, laura.

Alright.

Alright.

Why you so happy?

He just told you To get lost.

I know.

But he said, "Get lost, laura."

Yesterday It was "Get lost, Fido-face."

I'm wearing you Down, baby.

I'm wearing You down!

Okay coming through.

That's great.

Honey, that's great.

What you got There, big gal?

It's a gingerbread house.

It took me two whole Days to finish it.

Can I be the first To lick your chimney?

Laura! Hey, be careful.

This is A work of art.

No, it's a work Of harriette.

Get it? Art. Harriette.

Go home, laura.

I can't right now.

Why not?

I invented an automatic Poultry stuffer.

Unfortunately, The pesky machine Mistook my mom

For a christmas goose.

Ooh. Yo, What'd she say?

Well, she said...

"Whoa!"

Whoa!

Did I do that?

Yeah.

And I'm going To do this.

Mom! Mom! Mom!

Harriette, come on! Harriette!

Edward I'm gonna take your Mother upstairs.

Good idea. Is your gun up there?

Are you okay, My precious pudding pop?

Laura, I am not Your pudding pop,

And I never will be.

Oh, yes, you will.

One day my charms Will overwhelm you,

And then you'll Fall into my arms,

And I'll bear you A busload

Of fine, strong sons.

Listen to me.

Try and pay attention

To what I'm saying, Laura, okay?

Are you paying Attention?

You have Beautiful eyes.

Thank you. Your nostrils Are perfect.

Quiet!

Oh, they flared!

Whoa, daddy! Hormone rush!

Just...

Just stop it.

Stop it! I have had it With you, laura.

I want you Out of my life.

You don't mean that.

Oh, yes, I do.

I don't want to Think about you,

Talk about you, Or hear about you.

From this momment on You don't exist.

Now, go.

Alright.

I'll go.

But I'll never Stop loving you.

Goodbye, steve.

Goodbye and Good riddance.

Whoa!

Wow! What a trip.

I mean I looked Like a nerd,

I acted like a nerd, But...

But what?

But I had feelings Just like anybody else.

I mean, I loved steve With all my heart,

But he didn't Love me back.

It was awful.

Oh, really?

You know what?

I should have been Nicer to steve.

I wish I hadn't Yelled at him

And hurt His feelings.

Bingo!

Now that's the wish I'm really here to grant.

It is?

That's right.

Take care, baby girl.

I've got to continue My christmas shopping.

I've got to find A present for god.

Huh, talk about the man Who has everything.

And he's never surprised.

Wait!

What's going To happen to me?

You wished you could Be nice to steve,

So I'm sending you Back in time,

Give you a second chance.

Will you get your wings?

I don't know,

But keep Your eyes peeled,

Because every time A star lights up,

An angel gets his wings.

I sure hope You get yours.

Me, too.

So long, laura.

So long, ty.

Merry christmas.

And thanks.

Now, come along, And let me drive you home.

Whoa!

[glass shatters]

Steve!

Don't worry. I'm fine.

This bag broke my fall.

[sound of broken glass]

And my fall Broke this bag.

Hey, don't worry About it.

The important thing Is you're okay

What?

Steve, will you Drive me home?

I must have An eardrum on the fritz.

It sounded like You asked me To drive you home.

I did.

And if you're Not too busy,

I'd like you to spend Christmas eve

With me and my family.

Is that okay with you?

Is mrs. Claus A chubby chaser?

[snort snort snort]

I'll be there, baby, With jingle bells on.

Ready?

1...2...3!

Hey, dad. The star didn't light up.

Oh, great!

I have to unplug everything To find out the problem.

Don't worry About it.

The tree Looks beautiful.

Yeah, relax.

Have a glass Of eggnog.

Oh, laura.

Laura, I sure was shocked

When you invited me To spend christmas Eve with you.

You were?

I could only Think of two reasons

Why you'd extend Such an invitation--

Either your feelings For me have changed

Or...

You've suffered A nervous breakdown.

Actually my feelings About you have changed.

Oh! Oh! Oh! The work... The Years... The gravelling!

But not the way you think.

Let's put it This way--

From now on, I'm going to try Ver hard

Not to hurt your feelings.

You love me, Don't you?

Hey! Look at the star!

Way to go, ty.

Uh, laura.

Who are you talking to?

My guardian angel.

He just got his wings.

Oh. Of course.

Nervous breakdown.

* oh, come, All ye faithful *

* joyful and triumphant *

* oh, come ye *

* oh, come ye *

* to bethlehem *

* come and behold him *

* born the king Of angels *

* oh, come let us Adore him *

* oh, come let us Adore him *

* oh, come let us Adore him *

* christ the lord **