Original subtitles

Laura, my pet.

[music plays]

* a few stolen moments *

* is all that we share *

* you got your family *

* and they need you there *

* though I try to resist *

* being last on your list *

* but no other girl's *

* gonna do *

* so I'm savin' All my love for you *

* no other man *

* is gonna love you more *

* 'cause tonight Is the night *

* that I'm feelin' Alright *

* we'll be making out The whole night through *

* so I'm savin' All my love *

* yeah, I'm savin' All my love *

* yeah, I'm savin' All my love *

* for you **

Hey, the earth didn't move For me either, okay?

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

Laura, you left before I could finish singing.

Oh, did I?

Listen, I'd offer you Hot chocolate,

But you're not Staying that long.

Well, I'd say thank you,

But there's No reason to.

Bye.

Laura, wait.

Aren't you curious Why I'm dressed to the nines

And singing to you In dulcet tones?

Dulcet tones? Our dustbuster sings Better than you.

Well, I'm doing this To commemorate

A milestone In our relationship.

Our relationship Doesn't need A milestone.

It needs a tombstone.

Ahem. Woman.

I'm about to ask you out For the 1,000th time.

You actually keep track?

Oh, yes, yes.

I used to put a note On my bed post after each time.

But there's nothing Left but kindly.

Anyhoo. Here goes.

Ohh.

Ooh.

Laura winslow-- No.

Why, you didn't Even let me finish.

Sorry. I was just So eager to answer you.

Why, I've asked you Out 1,000 times,

And you've said no.

I'm beginning to notice An alarming trend.

Get a clue, steve. Give it up.

I shall never give up, Bubbling brown sugar.

In fact, I'm going To do something So romantic,

So gallant, and so Fabulously grandiose

That your heart Will melt

And you will be mine Forever.

Get a life, steve.

Alright! This is fantastic!

What are you Happy about?

You just said, "Get a life, steve."

A week ago you would have said, "Get a life, turbo-nerd."

I'm wearing you down, Baby.

I'm wearing you down!

[video game sounds]

[doorbell rings]

Hello.

Hi.

Hi there.

Is your mother At home?

No, she's at work, but my aunt Harriette's here.

Can I speak to her? Sure.

Aunt harriette! Those new neighbors

You were watching From behind the fence Are here!

Hello. Hi.

Come in. Come in.

We're your New neighbors.

I'm gloria tannen.

And this is my daughter Gwendolyn.

Well, hello gwendolyn.

I'm Harriette winslow,

And this is My nephew richie.

Welcome to the 'hood.

Thanks.

I think I'm gonna Like it here.

Listen, gloria,

Let's have coffee, Then I'll give you The lowdown

On your new neighbors.

You're not going To gossip?

I sure am. Oh, good.

Play nice, kids.

You want to play Space donkeys?

I'm down for that. I'm pretty good With the laser.

Let's kick it.

[video game sounds]

What?

You are so fly.

I am? Yeah.

You are total daddy mack.

Girls.

Hey dad.

Yeah, sweetheart?

I got my report card Today.

Oh?

Carl, her grades Are just a little less Than perfect.

So when you look At her report card,

Try to show Some compassion.

Of course, mother. Okay, judy, let's have it.

Here you go.

Would you look At these grades?

These grades Are terrible.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.

That's one of Your old report cards.

Honey, here is Judy's report card.

Oh. Bs and cs.

Not bad.

Thanks, grandma.

You're welcome, sugar.

[knock on door]

Oh, hi, gwendolyn.

Hey, girl.

What can I do for you?

I'm looking for that Fine richie crawford.

Just a minute.

Richie, gwendolyn's Here to see you.

Aw, man, she's Smothering me.

Hi, gwendolyn.

Hi, cutie.

I baked you A cupcake.

Sweets for my sweet.

Its lopsided.

I know, my dog chewed the lid Of my easy bake owen

Well, thanks anyway.

Blue is my favorite color.

Listen, babe, I can't stay.

I got an interview For preschool.

Ciao.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Knock it off!

You guys Better be careful.

I teased this dude Yesterday,

And he gave me An industrial-strength Noogie.

[urkel into bullhorn] Attention!

Yourattention please

Is that steve?

Yes, it's steve.

Would the lovely Laura winslow

Kindly step outside?

Ah, behold The fair damsel.

What are you doing Up there steve?

Let it be known That I, steven q. Urkel,

Shall remain perched here Upon this roof

Until laura lee winslow Agrees to go out with me.

This might be A good time to move.

Oh, greetings, Hombres.

Steve, why are you Pulling a crazy stunt Like this?

Carl, unfortunately,

My legendary love For your daughter Is unrequited.

Therefore, I shall remain here Upon your roof

Until laura winslow Sees the folly Of her ways.

But, steve,

This time of year,

The nights up here are Very cold and very windy.

I've got my love To keep me warm.

Dad, can I have A word with you Down by the gutter?

What is it, son?

Why aren't you kicking Steve off of here?

Simple, as long as He's on our house,

He can't be In our house.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Steve?

Steve?

Oh, mr. Einstein, You flatter me.

Steve!

Steve! Aah!

Aah!

Whoa!

Oh! Oh!

Oh, boy!

That'll Wake you up.

Look at this. You Almost killed yourself.

I want you come down From this roof.

No. You'll go out With me?

Then here I stay.

Look, you're wasting Your time.

I'll never Go out with you.

Oh, yes, you will.

No, I won't.

Steve, This is crazy.

Laura, I don't care.

Men swim oceans, Climb mountains,

And trudge across Deserts for their women.

The least I can sit on top of A middle-class tract house.

Look, the radio says we're In for a cold snap.

It might even snow.

Well, let mama nature Take her best shot.

You want to know why? 'cause I'm a man,

A manly man,

A manly urkel man.

Fine, steve. It'll be Just you and the pigeons.

Pigeons? Ooh, do they bite?

[donkey braying]

Well, I'm off.

You know, the Only thing worse than Working the night shift

Is working In a snowstorm.

Laura, aren't you Worried about Uncle steve?

He's not your uncle, And he can climb down Anytime.

[doorbell rings]

You order chinese?

Up on the roof.

The roof?

The roof?

[speaking chinese]

Well, good night, Kids.

Good night, daddy.

Good night, Uncle carl.

Night, rich.

[urkel] Bye, big guy!

Uh, steve, You know,

It's starting To snow Pretty hard.

Don't you think You ought To come down?

No, thanks, big guy!

I'm determined to--waaa!

Sorry. I slipped.

You know, he's even Annoying up there.

[telephone rings]

[ring]

Hello?

Oh, hi, gwendolyn. Richie?

No. No.

Uh, gwendolyn, richie's Not available right now.

I'll be sure To tell him you called okay.

Yeah, peace in the middle East to you too. Bye.

Why didn't you want To talk to her?

Laura, can you Keep a secret?

Sure.

Swear like a bear? Two times square.

Now tell me.

Well, yesterday,

I was over at gwendolyn's House playing legos.

So, what happened?

Well, gwendolyn asked me

If I wanted to see Snoopy on ice.

I said sure.

Well, that's nice.

Yeah, but then I noticed

Gwendolyn was giving me This real goofy look.

What look?

Like this.

Oh, I see.

Then she did Something crazy.

Something weird.

Something disgusting!

What?

She kissed me.

Whoa, what Did you do?

I called her A doody head, ran home,

And scrubbed my face Until my skin got red.

It sounds like gwendolyn wants You to be her boyfriend.

Laura, I'm Too young for that.

For goodness sake, I'm Still wearing underoos.

Well, yeah, but you Shouldn't have called Gwendolyn a doody head.

You call uncle steve names.

Well, that's different.

How come?

Never mind.

Look,

Gwendolyn Really cares about you.

And even though you don't feel The same way about her

It's not right To hurt her feelings.

Oh, gee, this boy And girl stuff Is really complicated.

You should call Gwendolyn and Tell her you're sorry

For calling her A doody head.

I guess you're right.

Tell her you'd be happy To see snoopy on ice with her

But just as a friend.

Hey, that's good. Thanks, laura.

You sure are a good Straightener outer.

Anytime, richie.

Hey, where Are you going?

I think it's time I start following My own advice.

Steve?

Oh, oh, l-l-laura, M-my p-p-pet.

Brought you A blanket.

Oh, my little Florence nightingale.

Be careful.

This roof is slipperier Than a used car salesman.

Here you go.

Ohh...

Oh, thank you, darling.

I'm so cold.

You know, they say The best cure For hypothermia

Is body heat.

I'm close to feeling Sorry for you, steve.

Don't blow it.

Right.

Listen, have you heard Any weather reports?

These snow flurries Are supposed to stop By dawn.

Oh, good.

Just before The blizzard hits.

Not good.

Look, I've Been thinking about What you're doing here,

And I must admit That it is...

Kind of romantic...

In a bizarre, twisted, Obnoxious sort of way.

You love me, don't you?

No, my feelings for you Haven't changed,

And they never will.

Oh.

But--

But?

Oh, praise god, There's a but.

But if you can convince me That you truly Understand my feelings,

Then maybe we could Go out on a date.

Oh, oh! As friends.

Oh, laura, My lady, my love.

Your friend.

Right, my friend.

Do you...

Do you suppose We could commemorate This...This occasion

With a hug?

Well, I guess Nobody will see.

Steve, let go.

Oh, sorry, Just being friendly.

Heh heh heh!

Oh, laura, laura, I'm so excited--

You and me on a date.

Now, steve--

This will be my chance To impress you.

I'll knock Your socks off.

With what?

With my charm,

My rapier wit,

My savoir-f--

Whoa! Whoa!

Savoir-faire!

Steve?

Well, steve A deal is a deal.

I promised you a date, And here we are.

Not just a date, A dinner date.

Open up the hangar, Here comes the jell-o plane.

Ahh...

Baby, this is The best night Of my life.