Original subtitles

* she says she wants to dance 'cause she likes to groove *

* come on, fatso, And just bust a move *

* oh, yeah *

* oh, yeah *

* oh, yeah *

* oh, yeah *

* oh, yeah *

Hit me!

* oh, yeah *

* oh, yeah *

* oh, yeah *

Carl?

Carl!

Oh, big guy!

[honk!]

Hold on! What's that? What? What?

Oh...Oh!

Oh, good. You're up.

Couldn't you see That I was sleep?

Oh, absolutely.

Go home, steve.

But I really need a favor.

Forget it. This is my Day off and I'm gonna relax.

I am not moving From this spot. I am a tree.

But..

That's enough. Carl winslow has spoken.

Well, okay.

It's just that my parents and I Were supposed to go to hawaii,

But somehow they left For the airport Without me.

I was hoping you could Give me a lift,

But I'll just spend My next two weeks with you.

Come on, let's go!

Whoa!

I'll get you On that plane

If I have to chase it Down the runway!

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* we're gonna fill Our house with happiness *

* the moon may cry *

* we're gonna smother The blues with tenderness *

* as days go by *

* there's room for you Room for me *

* for gentle hearts An opportunity *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family *

Hi, honey.

Hi.

Harriette, I'd like you To meet mike forbes,

Fresh out of the academy And assigned to me.

Hi. It's a pleasure To meet you,

And I'm honored To be partnered

With carl "Make my day" winslow.

Carl "Make my day" Winslow?

Yeah.

You know, My nickname

That everyone Calls me.

Oh, oh, oh. Sure, sure!

I guess they changed it

From carl "Make it to go" winslow.

She's a terrific Lady.

Ah, the best.

Say, mike, You said that You wanted to see

A departmental Commendation.

Yeah. You got one?

Well, actually...

Three.

Wow, sarge, You're a hero.

Well, I wouldn't...

Yeah.

Grab a seat, mike.

Oh, girl, I love My new outfit!

But you should have Got the shoes.

They were too expensive.

Do what I do, Wear 'em a week And take 'em back.

Uh-uh! You're a trip.

No, I'm not.

I could never Do a thing like--

Hi.

Hi.

Say hi.

Hi.

Not to me. To him.

Hi.

I'm mike forbes.

Is one of you Lovely ladies laura?

I am.

Great, I'm your dad's New partner. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too...

And shake.

I mean hands.

Hey mike, on friday Harriette's going to make us

A big turkey dinner With all the trimmings.

You like burgers?

Sounds great, Sarge.

Oh, I see you met My little princess here.

Yeah, I sure did.

Dad, I'm not little.

Laura, I hope You didn't blow Your whole allowance

At the record Store.

Dad, it's my money!

You know, I have a job.

Come on, mike. Harriette's got My commendations

Hung over The water heater.

Bye.

Woof!

Hit me, max.

Why?

I walk in and see the babe On my couch,

And what do I do?

Act like a geek?

I went way beyond geek.

I went into geek warp.

You're being Too hard on yourself.

Look on the bright side.

Which is?

It doesn't matter How foolish you looked,

Since mike doesn't know You're alive.

* aloha ey, Aloha oy *

* aloha...Ooh *

Excuse me, Would one of you lovely ladies

Like to slap a little Spf-40 on my lower lumbar?

Well!

There goes Hoity and toity.

This looks like A nice spot...

Don't you think, My little beach bunny?

[humming]

[polka plays]

[turns radio off]

Whoo! Ah! Hot, hot!

Let's see...

Chicago is that way...

And...Telstar...

Is thataway!

* hawaii is the place to be *

* doo dah, doo dah *

* on the beach on waikiki *

* all the doo dah day *

* gonna see don ho *

* wouldn't miss his show... *

[ring]

No, give me The phone!

Give--give!

Uh...Uh!

Talk to me, babe.

Aloha, eddo. It's me--steve.

Hello...Hello?

Hello?

Hello!

Uh... No hablo telefono.

Quit kidding around, Ickiwaka.

Tell my little la la It's her main man, kepano.

Huh?

That's all of our names In hawaiian.

Oh, neat. Bye.

No, no, no. No.

I really need To talk to laura.

You really need To talk to laura?

No. No.

Okay. Here she is.

What do you want, Steve?

So, my little Macadamia nut.

Do you miss me?

[kiss kiss]

Like I miss A root canal.

Good news, I've been faithful to you.

That's really not Necessary, steve.

But I resisted Every temptation.

I'm being pursued By a big buxom islander, kaliki.

That's hawaiian For "Woman who blocks the sun."

Steve, I hear A lot of static.

What?

Laura? Laura!

Oh, my laura. Got to get her! Got to get her.

I've got to get her back! Got to get her back.

Hi, kaliki.

Love that muumuu.

* work that body, Work that body *

* make sure you don't Hurt nobody *

Hurry up, slowpoke!

Give me a break.

I wouldn't Have made it

If that dog Hadn't chased me.

Hi, mom. Jogging again?

Listen mom, Can I talk to you For a minute?

Sure, honey. Just give me some time

To catch my breath.

Okay. Ready yet?

What's on your mind, Honey?

Mother, there's this guy I sort of like,

But he doesn't even know I'm alive.

How do I get him To notice me?

Just be yourself.

Give him a chance To get to know you.

He'll come around.

That's all?

That's all.

[shudders]

[shudders]

What?

Nothing. She's your daughter.

I suppose You have Better advice?

Watch me work, honey.

Laura...

Men are like fish.

If you want To catch one,

Put some bait On your hook.

How do I do that?

Sexy perfume, Soft hair,

And a killer outfit.

Girl, when you Walk away,

Drag his heart Behind you.

Heel!

Oh, wow!

Oh, please.

Come on in, mike.

And bask in the knowledge

That a couple of beat cops Have made the mean streets

Of chi-town town a little safer For john q public.

Gee, I wish I could Talk like that.

You will son. Some day.

Hey, you're already off To a good start.

You made your First collar today.

I sure did, sarge.

And thanks For letting me do All the paperwork.

Hey, how else You gonna learn?

Hey, take a seat.

I'll see what's going on With dinner.

Okay.

[breathy voice] Hello, michael.

Michael...

It's so nice To see you again.

Et quelle surprise.

It's nice To see you too

But did you forget I was coming over For dinner?

I must have.

Silly me.

If I had remembered, I would have...

Dressed.

That's, uh, Quite a perfume You're wearing.

It's very...

Noticeable.

It's called...

Unleashed.

Ah.

Shall we...

As they say in europe,

Sit?

Okay.

So, how was your day?

Great. Your dad and I Caught a burglar.

Oh, my! You were in danger!

Not really, your dad did All the dangerous stuff.

I just filled out The reports.

Still...

You took a risk.

Of what, A paper cut?

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, gosh!

You tickle me.

You know...

I find humor very...

Attractive...

In a man.

We've got drinks.

And we've got Hors d'oeuvres.

Hello, mother.

Auntie.

Hello...

Laura?

Uh--uh, mike,

This is my sister Rachel crawford.

Hi, how are you? It's nice to meet you.

Harriette, I think I hear The oven timer.

We don't Have an oven timer.

Oh, you mean The new silent Oven timer.

Okay. Excuse us.

Who makes Silent oven timers?

The same people Who make silent alarms.

Good news!

I've found More commendations.

Laura?

Yes, father?

What's with this getup?

Uh, carl--

Is this for the school play?

No, it isn't.

Well, then...

Why are you wearing All that make-up?

Excuse me.

Well, what's the matter? What did I do?

Uh, could you Excuse us, please?

Sure.

What? Ow!

What?

[ring]

Excuse me.

Hello.

Hello, rachel?

Steve?

Yeah, I need A big favor.

Pronto.

You see, it seems That I've spurned The advances

Of a woman named kaliki One time too many.

She's driven me Into the sand Like a tent spike.

Steve, what do you want me To do about it from here?

Could you call The concierge

And ask them come And dig me out?

I tried Calling him myself,

But he recognized My voice.

Could you call Fairly soon?

The tide's coming in.

Ooh! Ooh! And hurry!

Hurry!

[knock on door]

Laura? It's me.

Can I come in?

It's your house.

[sighs]

I guess I really Did it this time, huh?

I know I've put my foot In my mouth before

But I think this time

I was tasting My knee joint.

Come on, honey, help me out A little. Talk to me.

Dad, You humiliated me.

Mike thinks I'm a total fool.

Honey, I admit I was out of line,

But, hey...

Just think, one day we'll Look back at this

And laugh.

It won't be soon.

I've been so busy

Trying To play supercop For mike, that...

Honey, I didn't even notice You had a crush on him.

It's not a crush.

It's a natural extension Of my essential womanhood.

I mean, dad, it's not like I was going to marry the guy.

Good, Because he's engaged.

Ouch.

Now I feel even worse.

Hey...

You remember Humphrey beargart?

Sure.

You won him for me

At the county fair On my 6th birthday.

I remember you tried To talk like him.

[imitating bogart] Of all the county fairs In the world,

She had To walk into mine.

Keep working on it.

You know, I remember to win Humphrey here,

I had to shoot water Into a clown's mouth

At 10 cents a try.

38 bucks later, We had him.

You know, laura, In those days,

You were Daddy's little girl.

Man, if I could have Frozen time,

I think I'd have kept you 6 years old forever.

But I couldn't,

And now you've grown

Into a beautiful Young lady,

And, sweetheart,

I promise to try To treat you like One from now on.

[sighs]

Daddy?

Yeah?

[imitating bogart] We'll always have The county fair.

Aloha, Wiki winslows!

Steve,

What are you Doing here?

Well, my flight Just got in From hawaii,

And I couldn't wait

To give you Your souvenirs.

Steve, It's 1:32 in the morning.

Oh...It's never Too late for...

Hand-carved Coconuts.

Hee hee hee. [snorts]

* aloha ey *

* aloha oy *

* aloha ooh-ooh *