Original subtitles

* I tour around the world From london to the bay *

* it's hammer, go hammin', M.C. Hammer, yo hammer *

* the rest can go and play Can't touch this *

* duh duh nuh nuh Duh nuh duh nuh *

* duh duh nuh nuh Yeah! My, my *

* duh duh nuh nuh *

* duh duh duh duh *

* duh nuh nuh nuh Yeah **

Oh! Laura, The girl I adore-a.

[snort]

Want to listen to my new album? It's polka rap.

No.

As in "No, thank you?"

As in "No. Go home."

Well, you seem sad, Sweetums.

Tell little urkie What's bothering you,

And he'll make it All better.

Oops.

Look, I'm too tired for this.

I got up at 3 To stand in line

For johnny gill Concert tickets.

Oh, really? Did you get them?

No. After standing in line For six hours

They said They were sold out.

Man, I'd do anything To go to that concert.

Oh...

Anything?

Yeah.

Are those what I Think they are?

Well, let's see.

They appear to be Concert tickets.

I wonder what concert They're for.

Hmm...

Johnny gill!

My, my, my!

Whoa!

I want Those tickets!

[gurgling]

Aah!

Laura, as you Know too well,

These tickets Are hard to come by.

You could, however, accompany me To the concert as my date.

No way. Never. It ain't Going to happen.

Alright, Suit yourself.

I'll just have To take somebody else,

But next friday night,

You'll be stuck here With your principles

While johnny gill sweats All over my mother.

I...

I...

I'll go!

Yes!

* duh duh nuh nuh *

* duh duh duh duh Can't touch this *

* duh nuh nuh nuh Duh duh duh nuh **

* it's a rare condition In this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* we're gonna fill our house With happiness *

* the moon may cry *

* we're gonna smother The blues with tenderness *

* as days go by *

* there's room for you Room for me *

* for gentle hearts And opportunity *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

Before I left For work this morning,

Did I or did I not

Tell edward to empty The incinerator?

Yes, you did.

Well, it is not empty, Harriette.

It is not empty at all.

In fact, do you know What it is, harriette?

Full?

It's full, harriette.

Completely...

Overflowingly...

Full.

It is full, Harriette!

So what you're Saying is,

It's full.

Come on, harriette,

I want to know why my Instructions were not followed.

Well, edward said something Important came up.

And he promised he'd empty The incinerator tomorrow.

Typical!

It is always, "Tomorrow," With that boy.

Clean up your room, Edward.

"Tomorrow, dad!"

Take out the trash, Edward.

"Tomorrow, dad!"

Pass the salt, Edward.

"Tomorrow, dad!"

[grumbling]

Grr...Sick of it! Grr...Grr...

No root beer?

When are you going To the store?

Tomorrow, dear.

Real cute, harriette.

Real cute.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh!

Which one of our gangster Children did this?

Did what?

Leave an empty milk carton In the refrigerator.

I hate that! I open the door,

I see milk,

I get my hopes up, And then they're dashed.

It's a plot, carl.

The kids and I Are deliberately

Draining this house Of milk and root beer.

We're not gonna rest until we've Made your life a living hell.

Well, it's working, Harriette.

It's really working.

D-d--no, honey! Honey! Ah, ah!

Did you have A bad day?

I had a great day. What are you talking about?

Carl, why are you In such a foul mood?

I am not In a foul mood.

You most certainly are.

Look, let's get one thing Straight here, harriette.

This is my mood,

And I should know Whether it's foul or not.

And my mood is not foul. It's, it's fair. Okay?

I'm in a fair mood, Harriette. Alright?

Fair enough, carl.

Alright.

And what are you Looking at?

Good question.

Show off!

[grumbling]

Who put a flapjack In his shorts?

-carl.. -I don't want to talk about it.

Come on, carl. Talk to me.

What's really Bothering you?

Harriette...

Tomorrow it'll be Exactly one year...

Since it happened.

Oh...

That.

Carl...

You've got To let go of that.

It wasn't your fault. Everybody said so.

The department even gave you A commendation.

Oh, yeah. I got a commendation,

But an innocent person Died.

I can't let go of that, Harriette.

I just can't Let go of it.

Thank you, Officer carl winslow.

This is karen kosta Reporting live--

Carl?

Yeah?

It's 3'o'clock in the morning. You okay?

Well, I woke up and I couldn't Get back to sleep,

So I figured I'd make Myself a sandwich.

I hope you didn't have To beat up on the baloney.

No. It surrendered Peacefully.

What are you watching?

We've just received word That a hostage situation

Has occurred on state street.

Honey, why are you Doing this to yourself?

Let's go live now to Karen kosta at the scene.

An hour ago, a man entered This convenience store

And attempted to rob it.

The clerk activated A hidden alarm,

And police Quickly responded.

The suspect then took An elderly man hostage,

A mr. Charles mallory,

And held a gun to his head As he walked out to his car.

And then, For no apparent reason,

The suspect Shot the hostage.

He was immediately Apprehended,

But unfortunately His victim

Has been pronounced dead At the scene.

With me is Officer carl winslow.

Officer winslow,

Congratulations on Capturing the suspect.

Thank you.

Were you aware that he Had taken a hostage?

Well, yes. The suspect Didn't appear to be rational

And he repeatedly made threats That he would shoot his hostage

If we didn't let him get To his car.

What did you do?

Well, I felt he would make good On his threats,

So I, I did What he asked.

In retrospect

Do you wish you had handled The situation differently?

I don't know.

Thank you, Officer carl winslow.

This is karen kosta reporting Live for channel 8 news.

Listen to me, carl.

That was a year ago, It was not your fault.

I know that here,

But the problem is...

I'm not sure I know that here.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hi, sugar.

Estelle,my belle, What's up?

I just went out To get my mail.

Look. I finally got my Hunk-of-the-month calendar.

Is laura home?

No. Don't you two walk home Together from school?

Not exactly.

We always Leave school together,

But for some reason, She usually starts running.

Sounds rude.

Oh, no. No matter How fast she runs,

She always looks back To see exactly where I am.

Good lord!

I think I'm in love With mr. January.

Look out! Here comes february.

Uh, would you two Like to be alone?

No, steve. You got something On your mind?

Mind if I Pick your brain?

Pick away, baby.

Well, you see, Here's the skinny--

I bought tickets to a concert That laura wants to go to.

And offered to take her As my--get this--

A date.

-that's nice. -well, no, it's not nice.

-it's not? -laura doesn't want to date me.

Are you sure?

Positive. When I suggested it,

Her lovely eyes were momentarily Clouded with nausea.

I don't know what's wrong With that girl.

You're a fine young man and Would make a wonderful catch.

How many times have I Said that to myself.

But what do you think?

Should I use the tickets To get your granddaughter

To go to the concert with me?

Steve, I know the kind Of person you are,

And I just can't believe

That you'd ever use Blackmail.

Oh, I was afraid You might say that.

Well, there goes My date.

Oh, honey, give her time. She'll come around.

I just hope she Falls in love with me

While I'm still young enough To do something about it.

I was just thinking the same Thing about mr. February.

Estelle!

I may not always Be cooking,

But my pilot light Is always on.

Heh heh heh!

Um...

Mr. Mallory...

My name is carl winslow.

And I'm a police officer.

Well, actually, I guess You know who I am.

But I came here today To get something

Off my chest, mr. Mallory.

You know, what happened, Happened a year ago.

But what happened Happens again and again

In my mind.

I close my eyes, And I...

I see that man Holding you.

I see that...

That gun...Pressed Against your head.

And I see the fear On your face.

But what I don't see, Mr. Mallory,

Is that one second, That one...

Fraction of a second

When I could have Taken him down.

It was there. It--it had to be there.

If only I had seen it And done something,

You might be alive Today, mr. Mallory.

But I missed.

And I just want to say...

That I'm so sorry, Mr. Mallory.

I am so very sorry.

Officer?

Uh, yes.

I'm helen mallory.

Charles Was my husband.

Oh, mrs. Mallory.

Let's sit a moment.

I should apologize For listening to you.

No, that's alright.

Can I ask you something?

Oh, sure.

Do you ever Ask yourself

Why you had to be The policeman

Who got there first?

Mrs. Mallory, I ask myself that question

A million times A day.

But I guess You ask yourself

Why your husband was The one to be there that night.

No, I don't.

He was there because I asked him to go.

We were home Watching television,

And I mentioned that I wanted some ice cream,

So charles said he'd Dash to the store.

So he got up,

Cussed the dog for Chewing on his hat,

And...

Left my life forever.

For a long, long time,

I found it difficult

To live with the fact that

If I hadn't Asked charles to go

To that store,

He would still Be with me.

Oh, but, mrs. Mallory, There was no possible way

You could have known What would happen.

It--it wasn't your fault.

Oh, I know,

But it took me a long time To realize that.

And now...

You must realize

That it's not Your fault, either.

Okay?

Okay.

I don't believe this.

I'm definitely gonna have To have a long talk with laura.

Why?

Look what I found!

A hunk-of-the-month calendar.

Oh-uh, no, well, now--

Uh, don't be too hard on her.

It's just a phase.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, sweetie.

Carl, you're In a great mood.

Yes. I feel better Than I have in a very long time.

Really? What happened? Yup.

Well, I'll explain later.

But right now, I want To apologize to everybody

For my behavior lately,

And I want to make it Up to you, so

Let's all go out for dinner And a movie, huh?

-oh, it'd be great. -sounds good.

Good. I'm so excited.

Sweetheart, Where's the paper?

In the kitchen Hiding from you.

Yes, lord!

Congratulations, Winslows.

I'm here.

Evening, steve.

Oh, hello, estelle.

Once again, Your astounding beauty

Has snuck up behind me And clubbed me senseless.

Thank you, Sweet-talker you.

Steve, why aren't You dressed?

We'll be late For the concert.

Oh, mama!

Whoa, laura, you're beautiful. You're gorgeous.

What happened to the Rest of your pants?

Oh, well, I'm afraid I'm not going, cuddlelips.

Here. Take maxine With you.

Really?

Yeah.

Great!

Why?

Well, I'm too big A man

To take advantage Of your unseemly lust

For a prognathous Pop star.

Steve, I'm not sure What you said,

It sounds like you're Letting me off the hook.

Thanks, steve! I'll just call maxine.

Wait a minute.

-why? -this is a trick.

Well, whatever Do you mean?

Steve, if I take these tickets, I'll owe you, I'll owe you big.

You're sneaky enough To use that advantage

To make me go out With you later.

Well, I'm not falling For it.

But, turtledove--

Forget it, steve. You're dating me tonight.

Come on, let's go over to your House and get you ready.

Well, okay. If you insist.

Estelle, thank you For the advice.

How can I Ever thank you?

Bring me A johnny gill t-shirt.

Oh, you got it.

Now, have a good time.

Good? It'll be magnificent.

Excuse me.