Original subtitles

Carl!

What?

Why are you So upset?

I do not want to talk about it. Okay.

I was chasing this punk across The roof of the sears tower.

He'd been snatching purses.

And I happened to glance Over at the e-e-edge

And I f-f-fr--

Froze?

I started Shaking, sweating.

I got dizzy.

I have not Felt that sick

Since the day I met steve urkel.

Well, did you Catch the guy?

No. He got away When I started to cry.

Heights have always made me A little nervous but..

Nothing like this Has ever happened before.

Carl, how did you Finally get down?

I crawled down the stairs On my hands and knees.

You crawled down A 100 flights of stairs?

Well, actually, I slipped and fell and...

Rolled down the last 60.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* we're gonna fill our house With happiness *

* the moon may cry *

* but we'll smother the blues With tenderness *

* as days go by *

* there's room for you Room for me *

* for gentle hearts An opportunity *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family *

Boy, that must've been A strange feeling--

You know, breaking Into a sweat,

Getting dizzy, Losing your breath.

What's so strange?

The same thing Happens to me

When I see Denzel washington.

[telephone rings]

Hello.

Yes, this is Harriette winslow.

Uh, just A moment, please.

Turn on the radio!

What? Turn on the radio! W.D.O.L.

But, harriette, I'm putting-- Turn it on!

Sorry to keep you waiting What can I do for you?

Harriette winslow, this Is johnny "Too talented For radio" hawkins.

If you can name this blast From the past and the artist,

You will win a bright, shiny, New red vw cabriolet!

Ahh! Aah! Aah!

You haven't Won it yet, honey.

Okay, Harriette winslow,

Name this Rockin' oldie.

[hey, baby plays]

Okay, harriette, You've got 10 seconds.

I know it, I know it, I know it.

Ooh, what is it, What is it, what is it?

Hey, baby! What do you want?

No! Hey, baby is the name of The song. It's by...

Bruce channel!

Hey, baby By bruce channel.

We have a winner!

You are now the owner Of a brand-new, beautiful, Red cabriolet!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Hello! Hello? Maybe we lost her.

Right here, johnny baby.

We'll arrange for a time For youto pick up your car.

And hey, if you're a looker We'll go for a ride.

Thank you.

I won a car!

You won a car!

I won a car! I won a car! I won a car!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Excuse me.

Yeah?

Who won a car?

I did.

Vroom, vroom, Vroom, vroom.

Vroom, vroom, vroom.

Wrong. I won a car.

Uh-oh.

Rachel, They called me, not you.

Harriette, I knew the answer.

You knew diddly squat.

It's my car. But I'll let you use it.

Harriette, it's my car

And if you pay me, I'll let you use it.

Rachel, I'm trying To be nice here.

So am I!

Listen here, rachel, The man called me.

You didn't know The answer.

Girls, you know, I think--

Butt out, granny!

[indistinct chattering]

How am I doing?

Great, dad, but how many times Are you gonna chase a crook

Up a step ladder?

Dr. Van lowe says I should Take it one step at a time,

Gradually building To greater heights.

Makes sense.

I want to thank you for helping Me out, son. I appreciate it.

Hey, dad, I'm always There for you.

Thanks, son. [telephone rings]

That's jolene! Eddie! Eddie!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Ooh!

Ooh. Oh. Ooh.

Hi, carl.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

[crash]

Oh. Steve? Oh.

Steve? Oh. Steve...

Are you okay?

I think so.

I just wish I hadn't put That ding dong in my pocket.

Aw.

Steve, What do you want?

I don't remember, but I'll Tell you what I don't want

No more games of "Squish the urkel."

Steve, It's not a game.

I'm just working on A problem that I have.

Care to fill me in?

Not really.

Well, come on, carl.

It's me--steve. Share.

Well...

Well, I...

I maybe, sort of...

Have a little problem With heights.

Oh, acrophobia, huh?

Well, I was formerly Cursed with gymnophobia...

Fear of...Nudity.

Steve, I know we're "Sharing" and all of that,

But I really don't want To hear about it.

Fair enough. But I know What you're going through.

I mean, I showered In a wet suit until I was 10.

I know I'm going to be sorry For asking this, but, um...

Well, how did you overcome Your fear of nudity?

Well...

One hot summer night,

I said enough Is enough.

I snuck into The amusement park

And marched Into the hall of mirrors.

I ripped off my clothes

And forced myself To look at my reflection

From 150 Different angles.

Oh, it was a nightmare...

But it did the trick.

I was right.

I'm sorry I asked.

Well, maybe you could Overcome your fear, too.

Why don't you buck up And go bungee jumping.

No way. I get the willies Just thinking about heights.

No. My doctor recommends That I take it slow.

Well, okay...

If you want to listen To some medical guy.

[doorbell rings]

Lieutenant murtagh.

Winslow.

Kid.

Well, sir, this is A pleasant surprise.

Come in.

This isn't A social call.

Oh, I see.

Uh, steve...Steve.

This is police business.

Oh, great. I love that stuff.

You look familiar.

We met once. You showed me A picture of you dog.

Right.

So, how is Old bloodfang?

He's dead.

I'm sorry.

Yeah. Like that's Gonna bring him back.

They actually give This guy bullets?

So, sir, what brings you To this neck of the woods?

Winslow, I've always Thought of you as a cops' cop,

A top cop. No-holds-barred, Nonstop cop.

Well, thank you, sir.

You can imagine my shock when I found out you're a pantywaist.

Excuse me, sir?

The hot topic in The officers' steam room

Is that you're Afraid of heights.

What? Who said that?

One sergeant Charles carnelli.

I, of course, Immediately defended you.

Thank you, sir.

I told carnelli that no one In my command is a wimp.

Then I snapped him Smartly with my towel.

Sergeant, I suggest you Make an appointment

To see the police Psychologist.

I don't think--

Winslow, I'm going To be captain soon.

And I'd like to see you make Lieutenant to take my place.

Now, that's not Going to happen

If you're up on some roof Sweating and puking.

Well, sir, let me Put your mind at ease.

I'm not really Afraid of heights.

It's just A vicious rumor.

Rumor? Yes, sir.

Like the one that Was going around

About you And the stripper.

Oh.

Right.

That's very reassuring.

Oh, dear, oh.

I am in trouble now.

I am in deep bandini.

Oh. Oh.

What am I going to do?

Wait a minute!

I just booked a stateroom On the s.S. Inspiration.

What?

I have a surefire way To cure your fear of heights.

Well, I don't Want to hear it.

I'll take his advice And see the police psychologist.

Well, fine.

You can spend The next five years on a couch

Whining about your mommy,

Or you can eradicate your fear Of heights in just one day.

[hums the theme From jeopardy]

One day sounds good.

What's your plan?

I'll pick you up Tomorrow morning at 8:00.

All you have to do is trust me And do exactly what I say.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Carl, are you okay?

Oh, fine. You expect me To go up in a hot air balloon?

Yep.

Bye. Wait, carl.

You gotta go up In that thing.

No, I don't. Yes, you do.

It's the perfect way to Get over your fear of heights.

And remember, if you don't Conquer this phobia,

You can kiss Your badge goodbye.

Don't these things Go really, really high?

We'll try around 5,000 feet. 5,000--

Can't go much higher Than that without oxygen.

Otherwise your Head will explode.

Bye. Wait, carl, carl, carl!

Okay, gentlemen, We're ready to go.

You hear that, carl. It's lift-off time.

What do you say? Come on.

Hi, I'm jimmy "Wild Blue yonder" phillips.

Hi, I'm carl "Yellowbelly" winslow.

Oh. Is this Your first time up?

Yeah.

Yeah. Mine, too.

Bye. Wait, carl!

No, no. I'm kidding.

You have a fear Of heights, aren't you?

Well...Yes, I do.

You're not my first customer With that problem.

Let me assure you, hot air Ballooning is a completely safe

And risk-free activity.

Well, that's good to know. Why don't you guys climb in?

Make yourselves comfortable.

I am not getting in With that on his head.

Party pooper.

Come on, big guy.

Come on.

Good. I'm just going to get My maps and I'll be right back.

Oops. Wrong way.

Well, gee, I wonder What this does.

Steve! Steve! Steve!

Oh, it makes it go up. Right. Now make it go down!

Okay.

Maybe if I pull it again, It will go down.

Steve! Steve!

Nope. It seems To be a one way deal.

I got to get Out of here!

Carl, you'll snap a kneecap.

Besides, I think I got it figured out.

It must be one pull for up And two pulls for down.

Okay.

Steve! It's stuck.

Steve! It's stuck.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Oh.

Good news, carl. The rope is unstuck.

Get us down! Get us down!

I'm still Working on that.

You should open your eyes And look around.

Why, this view will Take your breath away.

It's mine!

Mine, mine!

The d.J. Asked for Harriette winslow.

And that's why The car belongs to me.

For the last time, the car Belongs to me. And you know why?

Because I look better in red.

Well, red does Bring out your eyes.

Alright. That did it, Shortstuff. I have--

Let me tell you Something, rachel.

[indistinct chattering]

Hold it, gang! Hold it!

You two Should be ashamed,

Acting like Chuckleheads.

Lay it on 'em, Grandma!

Sorry. I got emotional.

Now you both Know perfectly well

There are things more Important than a silly car...

Like family.

You two are sisters.

And if something nice happens to One, the other should be happy.

She's right.

You can have the car.

No, harriette, It's yours.

After all, the radio station Did call you, not me.

Yeah, but you gave The right answer,

So stop arguing And take the stupid car.

Wait a minute!

I don't want To take the stupid car.

I mean, after all I can be as unselfish as you.

In a pig's eye.

Who are you Calling a pig?

You, rachel.

Now stop this!

You two are fighting Like dogs over a bone.

Just sell the car

And split The money 50/50.

Now that's a good idea.

The best. Let's go celebrate.

Hey, let's go shopping.

Gifts for everybody. I'll get my purse.

Girl, I like Your style.

I'm glad That's over.

And when dad gets home, He'll be happy, too.

Yeah. He's out with steve.

I know he's happy Right now.

Aah!

Okay, we're doing Much better.

Your last scream Was much shorter.

Now look down again, Only a little longer this time.

Very good, carl.

You're making Real progress.

Yeah.

Carl?

Get us down, steve. Get us down!

Relax, carl.

When the air inside The balloon cools sufficiently,

We'll begin to descend.

Now, we don't know Where or when,

But those are the imponderables That make life interesting.

We have nothing To worry about?

Correctaroonee.

[jet approaching]

What's that noise?

Oh, neat.

A 727's coming Right at us.

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Oh. Oh. Oh.

How close is it gonna come? It's hard to say.

Ooh, look, They're serving chicken kiev.

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Carl!

Carl! Carl!

Steve! Steve, hold on!

Aah!

Steve! Steve, hang on!

Hang on, steve! I'm slipping.

Aah! Aah!

Oh. Oh, steve.

Steve!

Oh. Oh, steve. Oh.

Oh. Are you okay?

I think so.

Phew! I just stared the grim Reaper right in the face.

And let me tell you, He's one ugly dude.

Carl.

Do you realize You just saved my life?

Yeah. I guess I did.

But...You forgot about Your fear of heights.

You did what had to be done Without even thinking about it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I did, didn't I?

Hey, I'm cured.

Almost.

I think your job Worries are over, big guy.

Whether you're on The ground or up in the air,

You'll always be The world's greatest cop.

Gee, thanks, steve.

You know, carl,

This could be the beginning Of a beautiful friendship.

Don't push it, steve.

You should've seen The big guy. He was amazing.

Not only did he conquer His fear of heights

But also saved my life.

Oh, well, steve was The one that was really amazing.

He piloted that baby Like he was born in a balloon.

Oh, once I understood The physics of it, carl

It was nothing.

Living with my father, you learn A lot about expanding gases.

Thank you For sharing that with us.

Oh, my pleasure.

Well, I better go.

Well, if you have to. Don't go now.

My parents get cranky if I don't Have dinner ready on time.