Original subtitles

Oh, richie,

You'll be the hit Of the winter pageant.

You're the cutest thing In webbed feet.

They made me the penguin Because I have The best waddle.

Doesn't surprise me. You get that From your mother.

Extra, extra. Read all about it!

Judy winslow Gets an "A" In spelling.

Way to go! That's what happens When you study.

And get grounded.

Mom, look at my test.

Just one second. What do you think?

Get a plastic surgeon. We need an emergency Beak job.

I got extra credit For spelling Platypus right.

Hold on a second.

Yeah. Okay.

Oh, yeah. Cute.

Oh, he's so cute.

There.

Now, what were You saying, judy?

I have to go To the bathroom.

Oh, richie, I told you to go

Before you put The costume on.

Come on. Oop!

Knew I should've built A zipper in that thing.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these Gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* we're gonna fill our house With happiness *

* the moon may cry *

* we're gonna smother the blues With tenderness *

* as days go by *

* there's room for you Room for me *

* for gentle hearts An opportunity *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family *

Brrr!

There they are-- The snow busters.

It's a snap when You got the team

Of winslow And winslow.

Dad, let's jump Into the 20th century

And buy a snow blower.

Now, why do I need A snow blower

When I got you?

Nice try, eddie.

I'm out of here.

Whoa, not so fast.

Let's hit The bowling alley. It's burrito night.

No can do. I'm hanging out With the guys tonight.

Oh, sounds good.

Oh, count me in.

What's the skinny, Minnie?

No, dad. See, you can't go.

My friends Will make fun of me.

They'll call me a dweeb.

No, they won't. I'm a cop. I carry a gun.

Dad.

Alright. Go ahead. Have a good time.

Thanks. See you later.

Whew! That was A close one.

See you, dad.

You know, harriette,

Every time I want To do something With eddie,

He says He's too busy.

Oh. There's a reason For that.

Oh? What is it?

You're old.

You didn't say I was old last night.

No.

You went to sleep before I could say anything.

Carl, if you want To spend more time With eddie,

Plan ahead.

Schedule a father And son outing.

I know What I should do.

To spend more time With eddie, I'll plan ahead.

I'll schedule A father And son outing.

Isn't that A great idea?

Oh, laura?

Yeah, mom?

I'm missing four pairs Of eddie's socks.

Do you happen To have any idea Where they are?

Search me.

No need.

What are you up to?

Hopefully, About a 38-d.

Honey, just let nature Take its course.

You'll blossom Any day now.

In the meantime, I'll just work On my balance.

Harriette.

We've got to talk.

Kleenex?

Socks.

Your mother Once tried beanbags.

Harriette, I just caught judy

Ripping the beak off Richie's penguin costume.

I don't know what's gotten Into that child.

Has her head been Spinning around?

Judy's probably jealous.

Of what?

She's not the baby Of the house anymore.

But don't worry. Same thing Happened to me.

And look how great I turned out.

You were Actually jealous Of aunt rachel?

I'll have you know I was a stunning baby.

People came From miles around

Just to coochy-coo me.

They still do.

Oh, give it a rest.

Come on, you know When I was born, Mama wept for joy.

When you were born, She just wept.

Keep it up, And I'll bury your Barbie doll again.

Ohh!

Okay, okay. But what Are we going to do

About these Feuding cousins?

Well, let's just Let judy and richie

Work it out For themselves, Like we did.

Hi, gang.

Laura!

Oh...

Oh...

Bosoms!

Ohh!

Hey, steve, What's up?

My blood pressure.

A few minutes ago, I saw laura and fainted.

Why?

Why?

Well, good lord, man, She's an overnight Success story.

Why, she is woman, Hear me roar.

Hey, what's The haps, chaps?

Hey, dad. What's all that?

The finest Fishing equipment You can buy on sale.

Remember you wanting To fish last summer?

Well, this saturday, It's you and me, son.

Uh, news flash, dad--

It's january.

I know.

We're going Ice fishing.

Ooh, Ice fishing!

The sport Of kings!

Yeah. Look at all This great stuff--

Rods, reels...Hey!

And even these Comfy chairs.

Those fish will be Swimming in tartar Sauce in no time.

Uh...Dad, I really don't think

That I'm an ice fishing Kind of guy.

Oh, you'll love it.

Jack at the precinct And his son danny Go all the time.

Danny wasn't into it At first,

But now he's hooked.

Hooked...Fishing--

Bodacious pun, Big guy!

Well, if we're Going ice fishing,

I have to stock up On lip balm.

Steve. Steve.

I want you To listen to me Very carefully.

This trip is just For edward and me.

Alone.

By ourselves.

Alone.

Just the two of us.

Alone?

Are you saying I'm not invited?

A-ha ha ha ha!

Boy, you really had me Going there, carl,

You crazy kidder, you.

Steve, I'm not joking.

A-ha ha ha ha!

Your face! You look so serious!

You kill me!

Ha ha ha ha!

Haaaa ha ha!

Anyway, jack said

The perfect spot For fishing Is lake wannamuck.

He said The rainbow trout Are really biting.

Uh, dad, uh...

I think I'm going to pass. I hope you understand.

Oh, I do. I do, son, But, hey...

I spent 150 bucks For this stuff.

You're going.

Dad, we've been walking For over half an hour.

When do we stop?

I am looking...

[panting]

For the perfect spot...

And here it is.

Well, eddie, Here she is...

Lake wannamuck In all her glory.

Isn't she beautiful?

She's frigid.

Listen, listen, Edward...

What do you hear?

Nothing.

Exactly-- No car horns,

No factory whistles, No sirens.

Out here, we are Totally isolated

From every loud, Obnoxious sound.

Hi, guys!

It's about time You slow-pokes showed up.

Steve, how did You get here?

Well, my mom says There was a stork.

But I've seen the contract From the in vitro Fertilization clinic.

Steve, I meant, How did you get up here?

Oh, well, let's see.

I took the 12:10 bus To lake bluff.

I had a primo pecan roll.

I missed the 2:45 bus

And then I hitched a ride With an armless teamster Named mable.

No arms? How did she shift?

You know, I saw it and I still Can't figure it out.

Here we are, The three amigos--

Carlos, eduardos, And...Stevos.

I'm having A mucho grande time, guys.

I'm f-freezing.

Not moi.

I bought a pair Of electric long johns.

I'm toasty warm in these Ul-approved babies.

If the temperature dips,

I just hit the old Switcheroonie,

And in no time flat, I'm a human bun-warmer.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Steve! Whoa, mama!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Steve, are you okay?

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ahh.

Ohh.

Ahh.

Are you through.

Almost.

Ahh.

Oh.

Oh, boy.

Ohh, boy!

Oh!

So, what kind of bait You fellows using?

Worms.

I'm using cheese.

You want to try some?

No. No, thanks.

You'll catch more fish.

Steve, you use the bait That you want,

And we'll use the bait That we want.

Yeah.

And we'll just see who Catches the first fish.

And then what?

Ladies and...

Ladies.

Presenting, Direct from the arctic,

The star of The winter pageant,

Richie "The penguin" Crawford.

How's my waddle, mom?

Oh, honey, It was wonderful.

You just need More tail action.

Watch mommy. Walk this way.

First you waddle,

Then wiggle.

Waddle.

Wiggle.

Waddle.

Wiggle.

Isn't he cute?

No.

Judy, do you have A problem with richie?

Yes. He was born.

Why, that little bum.

Let's lock him up And throw away the key.

Laura, everybody makes A big fuss over richie,

And I get ignored, And that's not fair.

You know what? I remember that feeling.

You do?

Yeah. When you were born.

You got all the attention I used to get.

I was willing to do Anything to you To get attention.

What did you do?

Oh, good. You don't remember.

Come on. Tell me.

I dumped all my toys In your crib.

So I'd have toys To play with?

I was trying to bury you.

Then I realized There are some advantages To not being the baby.

You can stay up later, And chose your own clothes.

And you know The best part?

What?

You have a little kid Who looks up to you.

Yeah. I never Thought about that.

You go apologize To richie.

Okay.

* fishing on Lake wannamuck, Doo-dah! Doo-dah! *

* seems I'm having All the luck All the doo-dah day *

Steve.

* having all the luck-- *

Steve.

Steve!

Hmm?

The only thing worse Than not catching fish

Is you Singing about it.

Ha ha ha!

Dad, when are We leaving?

What are you Talking about?

We're having fun here.

Oh, really? Why wasn't I told?

Are you implying You're having a bad time?

Dad, I'm not Implying.

I'm telling it Straight out. I hate this!

Why?

For one thing, I can't feel my toes!

Uh-oh. Mr. Frostbite.

Oh, when he shows up, It's amputation time.

Oh, great. I'm going To lose my toes.

The good news is My dad will do The operation for you,

Bad news is He'll charge you An arm and a leg.

Edward, you are not Going to lose your toes.

Take some advice From me. Think warm.

No offense, dad,

But what I'd really like Is to go home.

Okay, this trip is over.

Eddo.

I love you from The bottom of my heart,

But you are One big wuss.

Okay. That's it.

Hey, hey, hey! Cut it out, you two!

Cut it out!

[creaking]

Don't move.

Maybe we better move.

[creak]

Don't move.

Uh, you move.

Why?

Steve, the ice is weak here.

The lightest person Should go first.

Once you're safe, Eddie goes.

Well...

Okay.

Okay. Alright, Edward. You're next.

Okay. Alright.

Easy, carl. You're doing great.

Easy.

Aah! Oh, no! Oh!

Hang on, big guy!

Dad!

Oh, my god!

We'll save you! Hold on! Hold on!

I can't pull myself up!

We have to make A human chain. I'll go first.

No, I'm the lightest. Let me.

Okay, steve. Hold the rope And slide out.

Stay back, guys! Stay back!

Wait.

Faster, steve. Hurry up!

I--I got him! I got him!

Pull! Pull!

Dad?

Are you okay?

Oh, yeah.

Now, tell me if This water is too hot.

Oh, there's no such thing As too hot.

It's cold, b-b-baby.

Oh, carl. Wait a minute.

Hurry, harriette.

Oh, hurry, harri-- Hurry, harriette.

Does this help?

A little.

I just can't get warm.

How about this?

Ooh. Open a window. It's hot in here.

Here you go, dad. Brought you Some hot cocoa.

Just the way You like it-- 19 marshmallows.

Thanks, son.

Uh, mom, Can I have a minute Alone with dad?

Sure.

If you get another chill, These lips won't be far.

What's on your mind, son?

Dad, I just don't get it.

Why did you drag me To that lake today?

Why the father And son kick?

Are you having A midlife crisis?

No.

I guess I'm trying to Make up for lost time.

What do you mean?

Well, when you Were little,

You used to Always ask me To do things with you,

But I was too busy Trying to make a living.

Well, now you're older, I have the time,

But now You're the one Who's busy.

Well, from now on, dad,

Anytime you want to Spend time together,

Just say the word.

Really?

Wow.

That would be Great, son.

Why the sudden Change of heart?

Well, dad...

I almost lost you today.

It really scared me.

Well, you know, It scared me, too.

Look, dad,

I want us to do lots Of things together,

But let's never go Ice fishing again.

Deal?

Deal.

I love you, dad.

I love you, too, son.