Original subtitles

Harriette.

You're supposed to Paint with the grain.

Everybody knows that.

Oh.

You mean, like...

This?

No.

Actually, I meant More like...

This.

Hyah! Hyah!

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Oh!

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

I'm ashamed of you two.

Instead of fighting, You should be cooperating.

Show some teamwork, For goodness' sake.

Oh, real mature.

En garde!

Come on!

Ooh! Ooh!

Watch it.

We'll get you. We'll get you.

Okay. Okay

Truce. Truce.

I'm outnumbered here.

I don't want to get Any paint on this uniform.

Hi, guys.

Oh, did I do that?

Hyah! Hyah!

Hey, hey, hey!

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* we're gonna fill Our house with happiness *

* the moon may cry *

* we're gonna smother The blues with tenderness *

* when days go by *

* there's room for you, Room for me, *

* for gentle hearts And opportunity *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family *

Dad, what are you doing?

Oh, just a winslow Tradition.

It's called breakfast.

No, no, no. See...

You're supposed To be taking me

To get my driver's License today.

Oh, yeah.

Any particular rush?

Dad, I've been 16 For 27 hours now.

If I don't Get my license

By the end of the day,

I'll get picked up By the geek patrol.

Well, now, We wouldn't want that.

Besides, I sort Of promised jolene

That I'd take her for A spin this afternoon.

Heh heh heh.

A girl Enters the picture.

Let's hurry before She's out of the picture.

It might be wise

To take A test drive first.

Why? You've checked me out A billion times.

You said, yourself that I'm a great driver.

Yes, but that Was the opinion

Of carl winslow, Superdad.

Now I'll pretend to be

Joe blow, super picky Dmv examiner guy.

What?

Some dmv types can be are real Tricky.

I mean, either they Try to rattle you

Or they're sticklers For the rules.

Now, you. You've got to be Rattle and stickle proof.

Really?

Sure.

Son, I realize how much You want your license,

And I'm going to make sure That you get it.

Thanks, dad.

You're the best.

Hey, I try.

So, uh...You want To get dressed now?

Oh, no can do.

Why not?

Because I'm way Ahead of you!

How am I doing, dad?

Fine, fine.

But I'm not your dad.

Oops. Does mom know?

I'm your dmv examiner.

I just docked You 2 points

For inappropriate levity.

Yes, sir.

Alright, Make the right turn here.

Right turn. I'm on it.

Hitting the blinker,

Gently Applying the brake,

Hanging the ralph.

Yes, the kid does it!

[imitates Crowd cheering]

Very good. Very good.

Watch out For that bread truck!

[brakes screech]

What bread truck? I didn't see a bread truck.

If there had been one, You'd have hit it

Because your turn Was wide.

I'm deducting 5 points.

I'm down seven Points already.

Yep.

Man, you're tough.

Hey, I didn't get this job By being pretty.

Anyway, you lose 2 more points,

It's back To your bicycle for you.

Alright. Come on, Come on, come on.

Alright, mirror check.

Eyes on the road.

Watch your blind spot.

Watch your speed.

Eyes on the road!

Okay, now pull over.

12 inches from the curb. Watch the fire hydrant!

Okay, stop, stop, stop.

I'm proud of you, son. You hung tough.

I think, you're ready For the real test now.

Thanks, but just One thing, dad.

What's that?

Could you Drive us there?

And there he is-- Eddie andretti.

Did you Pass the test?

Maybe that's none Of your business.

Oh, you flunked, huh?

Big time.

Didn't dad tell you?

No, he just came home all Upset, but he didn't say why.

We had fight at the dmv.

'cause you flunked?

Because he made me flunk.

Dad got me so nervous

That all through the test I kept Seeing runaway bread trucks.

Didn't examiner calm you down?

Nope, he made me let him out And he sent the bus back

Hi, eddie.

Jolene!

Hi.

So?

So...

Oh, oh, the test. Right.

Did you pass? Did you Get your license?

Did I get my license?

Did I-- Did I get my license?

Laura, she wants to know If I got my license.

Did you Get your license?

What do you think?

Oh, you did it.

Congratulations, Binky bear.

Thanks, winky bear.

Let's go for our first Ride together.

Right now?

Yeah. Now.

Sorry. Got to rain-check That one, babe.

Why?

Because I want Everything to be perfect

For--for our first ride.

I got to get some new clothes, I got to wash the car.

I got to go to the dentist.

Eddie, you're stalling. Take me for a ride.

Hop in.

Eddie, are you nuts? Dad's going to kill you.

Not if he Doesn't find out,

And he won't find Out, will he?

Not from me...

Binky bear.

Laura.

Laura, please.

Please, My little rapunzel?

For the last time, steve,

I will not give you A lock of my hair.

I'll settle For a toenail clipping.

How can you Be so disgusting?

It's a gift.

I'm going to my bedroom.

Hmm.

Don't even think About it.

Oh, sorry.

Is there anything I can do for You while I'm down here waiting?

Let me know When eddie gets back.

[horn honks]

He's back!

Eddie, are you okay?

I think so.

How about you, jolene?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.

Nice move, binky bear.

Alright.

Now, how in sam hill Did this happen?

I freaked.

I'll say.

We were about to pull In the driveway,

And we get passed By a bread truck.

Next thing I know,

We're sideswiping A coffee table.

Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, will you look At the time?

Oh, laura, dad is going To kill me when he sees this.

I'm dead meat.

Relax, eddie. You had an accident.

Carl will understand.

Right. Dad Will understand.

Aah!

Wha--

Wha--

Wha--

What...

What...

Who? What? What?

Who--uh--uh...

Carl, carl, calm down.

Harriette, there is a car In the living room!

Yes, but you--

Harriette, there is a car In the living room!

Carl, don't overreact!

Overreact?

Harriette, there is a car In the living room!

Well, at least we Know where it is.

Edward!

Yes, dad?

Edward!

Go to your room!

Go to your room, lock The doors and windows.

Carl, he won't Try to get out.

That's so I can't get in!

Carl, you have Every right

To be as mad As a rabid dog.

You're spraying Your slobber

On the wrong guy.

Eddie didn't total Your house. I did.

You?

You?

Him?

Carl! Carl! Carl! Carl!

Why?

I don't know, carl.

I guess I'm just bad.

Bad to the bone.

What!

You know My kind, carl.

We live for Speed, kicks.

Thrills and spills.

Danger's My middle name.

Oh, actually, It's quincy,

But you guys Get the picture.

Come again?

Thanks. I didn't think You'd invite me after this.

Steve...

Steve...

I think for your sake,

You--

You--

You better Go home now.

Quickly.

Yes, sir.

Steve. I will be calling Your father on this.

Okay, but I Have to warn you.

My dad's latest hobby Is pantomime,

So if no one answers, It's him.

Get out!

Steve, wait.

Yeah, eddo?

Why'd you take the rap?

A quick appraisal of The situation led me to believe

That carl was about To become a human krakatoa.

So I decided to be The sacrificial urkel.

Dad's going To call your parents.

Won't they punish you?

Yeah, they might Ground me.

They may even cut Off my allowance.

Ooh. They may even Cancel my bagpipe recital.

But I can Handle it.

But still, why are you sticking Your neck out for me?

Because we're Buddies, eddie.

Buddies help each Other out, right?

Yeah, b-but--

You'd do the same For me, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

Sure.

I thought so.

Farewell, My wee bonnie lass.

I need more juice. You want some richie?

Thanks. Better up.

Eddie...

You have done Some low things,

But letting steve take The blame is a new high low.

I'll figure out how to pay his Parents for all the damages.

Relax. Everything's cool.

Hi, guys.

Steve, what's With the uniform?

It's my punishment.

Weren't your old clothes Punishment enough?

No, sweetness my Parents have decided

To send me off To military school.

You're kidding.

'tis no jest, My fair maiden.

I'm afraid mom and pa where Pushed over the edge by this.

Isn't there some way To change their minds?

I tried.

I begged, I pleaded,

I mimed.

But I failed.

Eddie, you can't Let this happen.

I know, laura, I know.

I'm afraid It's a fait accompli.

But perhaps four frightening Years of military school

Can actually Be beneficial.

I can pump up The old bod.

Here, eddie.

A new mitt?

I bought them A couple of years ago

In the hope that We could play catch.

Unfortunately, you weren't able To fit it into your schedule.

So now I want you to have Them as a going-away gift.

Thanks, steve.

Laura...

Well, it's so hard for me To say goodbye to you.

My heart Knows the words.

They just won't Pump up to my lips.

I guess I'm just clogged With emotional cholesterol.

Well, I... I love you, laura.

[blows noisily]

Goodbyes are murder On the sinuses.

Steve, wait here.

I have a few precious mementos, I'd like you to remember me by.

I'd like you to have my first Pair of baby shoes.

Dad?

Yeah?

You busy?

Just blowing up this balloon For little richie...

For the last Half hour.

Um, do you remember That hole in the living room?

Oh. You mean the one The size of a station wagon?

That's it.

Uh, steve didn't Put it there.

I did.

Oh?

Steve was covering For me, dad.

I see.

Now, let me get This straight.

You drove the car

Without A valid license...

Right through The front door...

And let somebody else Take the rap?

Dad, I was embarrassed to Tell jolene I flunked the test.

I didn't want To lose her respect.

Instead, I've Really messed up,

And now I've lost yours.

Edward.

Edward james Arthur winslow...

Son, you haven't Lost my respect.

Messing up is A part of growing up.

Edward, it's a process That never ends.

Actually, I think I messed up, too.

How?

Well, I...

I don't think, I shouldn't have Given you that last-minute test.

I wanted to help, but I Think I shook you up instead.

And I'm sorry.

Well, I guess we can Both learn from this.

Thanks, dad.

Good talk.

Edward.

I'm the father. I learn from this.

You're the son. You learn From this and youget punished.

Okay. What's it Going to be?

You're grounded For one month,

Plus you'll Have wait two months

Before you can take Your next driver's test.

Two months?

That's fair.

And I also want you to tell Steve's parents what happened,

Then you'll do odd Jobs around the house

Until every cent of The damages are paid off.

At $4.00 an hour,

It shouldn't take you more Than two, three years, tops.

Dad, doesn't it count That I did come

And tell the truth?

Okay. $4.10 an hour.

And last, but not least,

A jar of mom's Homemade catfish jam.

Boneless.

Gee, steve...

Your baby shoes...

Your Grandmother's dentures...

Fish jam...

And I didn't get A thing for you.

Um, steve, I need To talk to you.

Oh, fine.

I'll go put these Dentures in some water.

Steve, you won't Need that uniform.

I told my dad The truth.

Wow! Thanks, eddie!

I wasn't looking forward To military school.

You know, I heard they Don't allow night lights.

Listen, steve,

You put yourself On the line for me.

I want you to know, I really appreciate that, man.

Hey, any time, dude.

I'm your buddy, and buddies Stick by each other.

You know what else Buddies do?

What?

They play catch.

Let's break That puppy in.

Alright!

Think fast!

What happened!

Sorry! I broke a lamp, dad.

Gee, thanks for Covering for me, eddie.

We're buddies, Right?