Original subtitles

Laura, tell mom I'm meeting the guys

To play basketball.

Tell her yourself. I'm not your secretary.

Hi, eddie.

Hi, steve.

You ready to dribble The old round ball?

Shoot some hoops? Bang the boards?

Urkel, why do you Put yourself through this?

Nobody ever picks you For their team.

I was close Last time.

I would have gotten in if Sheila schwartz hadn't shown up.

Yeah, it was Pretty amazing

How well she played In those high heels.

Nice socks.

See you.

So, laura, want to play Some one-on-one?

No, I don't.

And why don't you Stick to chess?

Yeah, it's More your game.

No, I've been Practicing.

Watch this.

Did I do that?

No, it's the prize That came with the cereal.

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* we're gonna fill our house With happiness *

* the moon may cry *

* we're gonna smother The blues with tenderness *

* as days go by *

* there's room for you, Room for me *

* for gentle hearts An opportunity *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family *

The greatest thing Happened at work.

One of the guys In produce got fired.

Why's that great?

Well, it's not Great that he got fired.

But it's great that there's An opening in produce.

So what's Your point?

All the biggies Started in produce--

Louie in fish, chuck in meats, Stella in cheese.

Go for it, eddie.

Reach for the stars.

Yeah.

[telephone rings]

Hello.

Darnell?

Of course, I know who you are.

Carl's told me All about you.

You're kidding. When?

Carl's going to be So excited.

I'm looking forward To meeting you, too.

Bye, darnell.

That was one of carl's closest Friends from high school.

Was that Darnell coleman,

Or darnell watkins, Or darnell clark?

Darnell clark. Uh-huh.

Were all dad's friends Named darnell?

Yes. Those were very Confusing times.

Carl's been Telling me for years

What a hot Singing group they were.

Dad was in A singing group?

Yes, he was.

They called themselves The darnells.

Hi, everybody.

Hello. Hi, dad.

Mmm, something Smells good.

Dad, I didn't know you Were in a singing group?

Well, yeah, In high school.

Did you ever do a video?

No.

Did you ever burn Your guitar on stage?

Of course not.

He wasn't in A singing group.

Why are they Asking about all of this?

Carl, darnell clark called From springfield today.

You're kidding.

Why, I haven't seen him In 20 years. What's he up to?

Well, one thing He's up to is organizing

Your 20th high school Reunion. It's next month.

Oh, uh...

I can't make it.

Carl, we're talking About your 20th reunion.

All the darnells are gonna Be there, isn't that exciting?

Yeah, if you like That sorta thing.

I'm with dad.

Once you're out of high school, Why would you wanna go back?

You know, I don't get to say This much, but eddie's right.

I don't get this.

We're talking About the darnells

They were your Best friends.

I know, harriet, But reunions are...

Overrated.

I went to My 50th reunion

And spent the whole night Dancing with walter simons.

Sounds like you Two hit it off.

We had to. We were The only ones there.

Carl, don't you want To see the darnells?

You were so close.

Harriette, Things change. People change.

Well, that's part of the fun To see how they've changed.

What's that Supposed to mean?

It means people change.

Well, why don't you just come Right out and say it, harriette?

Say what?

That I'm fat!

Okay, I said it.

And I'm too fat To go to my reunion.

Oh, so that's it.

You don't want to go because You've put on a few pounds.

But, harriette, the darnells Were track stars.

They could eat anything They want and not gain an ounce.

We're talking Metabolism here, harriette.

They have it. I don't.

If you're that concerned About your weight

Why don't you go on a diet? You have a month.

Harriette, I have Tried diet under the sun.

And never Lost any weight.

I fasted for a week And went up a size.

Hi.

Hi.

What a workout tonight.

I feel great.

If you want something to eat There's leftovers in the fridge.

Oh, no thanks. I'm too pumped to eat.

I'll have water With a twist of lemon.

On second thought, forget the Lemon. I'm watching my weight.

What?

Are you thinking What I'm thinking?

Not if you think about getting Rachel involved in this.

Carl, she can help you.

Harriette, it is Just too embarrassing.

I don't want anyone to know Why I'm not going to my reunion.

Especially not "Miss Too pumped to eat."

So...What did You guys do tonight?

We talked about How fat carl is.

Thank you, harriette.

Carl, I wish you'd stop acting Like a baby, lose some weight,

And go to Your class reunion.

Oh, I get it.

You put on a few pounds And now you're embarrassed.

Who, me? Embarrassed?

I am not embarrassed. I'm just not going.

Let me Ask you something, carl.

If you could lose Some a few pounds

Would you go To your reunion?

Maybe. Then it's no problem.

I'll put you on my special Program of diet and exercise.

I guarantee You'll lose weight.

Really? Yes.

As long as You're committed to it.

What do you say?

Come on, carl, do it.

Oh, alright. I'll go on a diet.

Here you go.

Here's the butter.

Give me the cheese.

Harriette, this Diet is torture.

I'm dizzy, My vision's blurred,

And I'm Short of breath.

Carl, grow up.

It's only been 12 hours.

Ah, could you pass the lasagne?

Do you think you could sneak This pass the jaws of life?

Dad!

Let me just breathe in The tomato sauce.

Let me get a little whiff. Okay.

Carl, yours is almost ready.

So eddie, how'd you do in The big vegetable interview?

You know...Produce is a lot Harder than people think.

Flunked, huh?

I didn't flunk. I aced the written test.

But when I was Spraying the lettuce

The hose kinda got away from me.

And after all that time you Practiced with the garden hose.

Yeah. I soaked two customers And knocked down mr. Fuco muro.

But I still gotta chance. It's Between me and two other guys.

They're better with the hose, But I'm the smartest.

And they find their way To work every morning.

Alright, carl. Here's your dinner.

Now, you thought Lasagne looked good,

But feast Your eyes on this.

That's it? Three stalks of asparagus

And some Steamed broccoli?

Rachel, I've had More food than this

Stuck Between my teeth.

What the....

This is unbelievable.

My own family Doesn't trust me.

"Dear carl, have a glass Of water and go to bed."

Get out of here.

My candy stash!

Yeah.

"Dear carl, nice try. Now go to bed."

Food! I need food!

Salt, pepper, Toothpicks, baby food,

Cooking oil, corn star--

Baby food!

Strained spaghetti And meatballs.

Yeah.

Shh!

Carl, is that you?

Carl, baby food?

That's pathetic!

Hand it over.

Want the rest Of my cupcake?

No. Three's my limit.

Looking good.

Thanks.

Gosh, dad, I didn't mean To leave these here.

Leave what?

I'm proud of you.

Okay, 15 minutes. You're finished.

Hallelujah!

Oh, carl, I am so proud of you.

I mean, you've stuck to the Rachel method for a whole week.

And now, it's time To kick it into high gear.

Drop and give me 50!

Hi.

So, eddie, What's the verdict?

Did you skyrocket To produce?

I'm not going To tell you...

I'm gonna you.

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

So how are Your tomatoes?

I don't know. Why do you ask?

Hey, dad, Got the job.

Oh, I can see.

Congratulations, son.

So how are your tomatoes?

Why does everybody Keep asking me that?

We'll explain it to you After your father's weigh-in.

Come on, carl, let's see How much weight you've lost.

Are you sure That thing works right?

I can check it for you.

I know exactly how much I weigh From my last physical.

They weighed me At my last physical.

When was that?

1947.

Yep, right on the button.

Your turn.

Oh, this is dumb. I haven't lost Any weight. I just know it.

Heads. Oh, come on, carl.

How's this--we'll All turn our heads.

Nobody will look.

This will be your Own private moment.

Well, that sounds okay.

It worked! I lost 11 pounds!

Way to go, son. Alright, dad!

Now, carl, does this Mean we can go to the reunion?

You bet. Good.

I'll call darnell and tell 'em

You're gonna Be singing with them.

Singing? What are You talking about?

Darnell called this morning And of you are gonna be singing The the reunion.

On stage? In front Of everybody?

What's wrong with that?

It was one thing when I Was just gonna mingle.

But now I'm gonna be In the spotlight.

Forget that. I'm not going To the reunion.

You eat that, and you can Kiss your diet goodbye.

Goodbye.

Harriette, would you Hand me the hot fudge

On the stove over there, please?

Honey, there is just Too much emphasis in our culture

These days On being thin.

I mean, everywhere You look--

In tv, movies, Magazines.

All these 90-pound people

Walking around Smiling and dancing.

Where do they Get the strength?

Beats me.

I mean, I've never Been what you could call thin.

I mean, as a baby, I was chubby,

As a kid, I was husky,

And now as an adult, I'm...Big-boned.

But for as long as I can remember,

I've always Been happy.

Carl...

If you're happy, Then why are you worried

About what the people at The reunion are gonna think?

Well, it's not everybody That I'm worried about.

It's just the darnells.

Carl, the darnells Are your friends.

All they care about is who you Are and how you're doing.

Not if you've picked up A few extra pounds.

You really think so?

If they're your Friends, I know so.

Okay, I'll pass On the sundae.

Besides, I want to be sure

I fit into my suit For the reunion.

Good for you, carl.

And anyway you're The only sugar I need.

Hi.

Wait a minute. You're winslow.

Miss gilbert.

You know, You never handed in

That book report On silas marner.

Oh, uh... My dog ate it.

The same old winslow.

Thank you.

I've only been here Five minutes,

And already I've got homework.

Carl winslow, right?

Right. And you're...

Russell.

Russell wilcox.

You sat behind me In homeroom.

This is my wife, Harriette.

Hi. Hi. How are you?

And this is my Little woman, remember?

Don't "Little woman" Me, russell.

Quit blowing one note, irene.

You're just like Your mother.

Oh, yeah, well, how's this-- I want a divorce!

I'll be in the car.

Good! I'll be at the bar.

Nice seeing you Again, carl.

Nice meeting you, Harriette.

You too.

Who was That fun couple?

Russell and irene were voted Class romeo and juliet.

Carl?

I don't believe it!

Gosh, it's good To see you.

Oh, and you must be Harriette.

You are gorgeous.

Thank you.

What's has it been, 20 years? At least.

Who are you?

Who am I?

* doo doo wah *

Darnell! Harriette, It's darnell!

Man, look at you!

Aw, carl, You look great.

So do you.

Oh, well, thank you, But I have put on a few pounds.

Mostly in the arms And shoulders, though.

Let me introduce you To my wife. Janet?

Janet, meet harriette And carl winslow.

Oh, carl, I've heard So much about you.

I've heard so much About darnell.

It's nice To finally meet both of you.

You know when darnell heard About the reunion.

He didn't wanna come.

He was embarrassed About his weight.

Janet, put me On a diet.

I have lost three Whole pounds.

Doesn't he look great?

Yeah! I didn't even Recognize him.

Carl!

It's darnell and darnell.

Go easy on them. They've kinda let themselves go.

Carl!

Darnell!

Darnell!

Darnell!

Darnell!

Darnell!

Darnell!

Hey, man.

Look at you, man.

Look at you, man. You look good.

And you must be Harriette.

Well, if it's easier for you, You can call me darnell.

Man, look at this guy.

He's practically Invisible.

He's so skinny, He could be an x-ray.

Hey, brother, how you weigh Yourself-- on a postage scale?

Didn't I tell you These guys were fun guys?

Listen, guys, You think we could find

An empty classroom To rehearse our song?

Yeah. But listen, can we get Something to eat first?

Hey, you read my mind.

I'll catch up with you.

Harriette, thank you.

I love you.

I love you, too, Skinny.

Darnell, look, wait up.

You broke my heart

Because I couldn't dance.

You didn't even Want me around.

But, baby, Now I'm back.

I'm here to tell you

I can really Shake it down.

* do you love me *

* do you love me *

* do you love me *

* do you love me *

* do you love me *

* do you love me *

* now that I can dance? *

* dance *

* dance *

Ow! Watch me now!

* work, work *

* ah, work it all, baby *

* work, work *

* you know I'm absolutely crazy *

* work, work *

* come on and work it With the darnells *

* work *

* yeah *

* now I can Mash potatoes *

* I can mash potatoes *

* and I can do the twist *

* I can do the twist *

* now, won't you Tell me, baby *

* tell me, baby *

* do you like it Like this? *

* do you like it Like this? *

* tell me *

* tell me *

* tell me *

Ow!

* now, do you love me *

* do you love me *

* now, do you love me *

* do you love me *

* do you love me *

* do you love me *

* now that I can dance? *

* dance *

* dance *

* now that I can dance? *

* yeah *