Original subtitles

Good morning.

Steve, what're you doing here?

The water's off At our place, carl.

And estelle was nice enough To let me use her bathtub.

Oops! I forgot my ducky.

Kid his age still Using bath toys.

Come on, mr. Quackers.

He loved estelle's Bubble bath. He he he.

* it's a rare condition In this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say *

* is even harder To find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these Gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' out Of every seam *

* as days go by *

* we're gonna fill our house With happiness *

* the moon may cry *

* we're gonna smother The blues with tenderness *

* as days go by *

* there's room for you Room for me *

* for gentle hearts An opportunity *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

Put these on the table, baby.

So, eddie, It's friday night.

I hear janey brown is having A big party tonight.

Oh, that's right.

You can't go anywhere. You're grounded.

I wonder how long they'd Ground me if I broke your arm.

Come on, laura. Test me.

I got this car repair stuff Down cold.

I'm going to ace This sucker.

What are the steps In adjusting a carburetor?

Step one--you loosen The lambda locknut.

Step two-- you tighten primary Adjustment screws.

Step three--you...

You...

What is step three?

You get the greasy book Off the table so we can eat.

When your car Needs a tune up,

You'll be glad I'm taking This adult education class.

Hey, everybody!

Hi, carl. Hi, daddy.

I've got big news.

Your father's The policeman

With the best safety record In the entire city.

Great! Congratulations!

Wait, wait.

There's more. Because of that,

I'll be driving In the columbus day parade.

Shut up! Wait. Wait.

Don't go crazy yet!

Not only will I be In the parade,

I'm driving The lead car.

You can go crazy.

That's wonderful!

Come on, I want to show you Something outside.

I wonder what it is.

Come on! Oh!

Isn't she a beauty?

Wow!

This is a 1936 ford!

Right, rachel. How did you know?

Carl, you're talking To a car lover.

This baby has a v-8

With a dual throat Carburetor

And 221 cubic inches Of raw power!

Where'd you Get it, carl?

The policemen's museum.

This car was actually Driven by elliott ness.

Did he have the best safety Record last year?

Look. I've been Practicing my wave.

Let's go For a spin.

B-b-b-but freeze!

Back away slowly.

Keep your hands Where I can see them.

You're going To read us our rights?

Harriette, This car is an antique.

It's signed out to me.

It's out of bounds, off-limits.

No one touches it but me. Understand?

I do, but you might want To simplify it for eddie.

My son, the safest driver On the police force.

I'm so proud of him.

I taught him how to drive.

I didn't know You could drive.

Oh, sure. I gave it up when They lowered the speed limit.

Shh..

We don't wanna Wake carl up.

Don't worry, carl can sleep Through world war three.

Harriette, let's Look at that car,

Up close And personal.

Wait. Carl said not To touch it.

Come on. I just want to look.

I don't know.

Promise, I'll keep My hands off.

I guess it's okay If you don't touch it.

Great. I just love These old cars.

Each one has its Own personality and quirks.

Like men.

That's true.

Some don't Look like much,

But they can Really move.

Others are Real flashy,

But there's nothing Under the hood.

Boy, they don't make them Like this anymore.

Ooh, I just love the way The chrome sets off

The contours Of the hood,

And look at this subtle Flexing curve in this fender.

You two want to be alone?

I love this car.

It is pretty.

Are you thinking What I'm thinking?

Not if you're thinking About driving it.

That's what I'm thinking.

You must be crazy.

Carl would kill us if he knew We were even looking.

He'll never know. He's asleep.

He could wake up. We can't take chances.

Harriette, You are so cautious,

So afraid To take risks.

Honey, you've got to live, Harriette, live!

I don't mind living.

It's the dying I'm trying to avoid.

Harriette, for once, don't be The sensible older sister.

You're A stick-in-the-mud.

Loosen up. Let yourself go!

Go where?

Around the block, Please?

I'll never get Another chance

To drive a classic car Like this.

I don't know.

I'll be really, Really careful. I promise.

Once around the block?

Great!

Wait, wait, Wait, wait.

I make the rules.

Right turns only. Go slow.

Yeah, yeah, fine.

[engine starts]

Okay.

Now adjust the mirror

And use hand signals.

In fact, we'll both Use hand signals.

Harriette, Would you relax?

Nothing is Going to happen.

[crash]

Oh.

Ooh...

Are you in trouble.

Me? You were The one driving.

You were supposed to stop me. You're older.

But what happened to "Live, harriette, live"?

That was before you Wrecked this.

You drove!

You were supposed To warn me

If something jumped out In front of the car.

It was a tree!

It's been there For 100 years!

Well, I never Noticed it.

Look, rachel. This isn't helping.

We'll just tell carl It was an accident.

Carl will go crazy!

He still hasn't Forgiven me

For breaking his flintstones Coffee mug.

Harriette, We can't tell him.

Rachel, carl has to drive This car tomorrow.

He's bound to notice.

Not if I fix it first.

You couldn't even glue fred And barney back together.

That was a cup! This is a car!

I got a in body and fender work. I can fix it tonight!

Even if you could, which I doubt, carl should know.

No. No. You can't tell carl.

I can undo The damage

If you just Give me a chance.

Please, don't turn Your back on me.

You're all I got.

Don't give me that "Don't turn Your back on me" speech.

I've heard it 1000 times.

Yeah, but this time I mean it.

Please.

What am I Going to do with you?

Wha--

Never sneak up on someone Holding a blowtorch.

I'll try To remember that.

Yes?

I checked on the baby, And he's still asleep.

Thank you.

Are you aiming To lose that finger?

Sorry. How long is This going to take?

What time does carl Leave for the parade?

Why? Will this Take all night?

This is A delicate operation.

You don't just slap It on with crazy glue.

I'll have it ready. Now excuse me.

What's going on Out here?

Hey, I had nothing To do with this.

Relax. Rachel did it.

Your mother And I did it.

Why?

It's past 1:00. Why aren't you in bed?

Mom, I have to be Home at 11:00.

There's nothing in the rules About sleeping.

Eddie, I sure could use Another pair of hands.

Can I use The torch?

No! No!

I'll go And check

If carl is Still sleeping.

Okay. What do you Want me to do?

Put these In the tool box for me.

Carl! Harriette!

I'm very disappointed.

You said you'd cut out The midnight snacks.

I heard the bulb In the refrigerator go out.

Nope, it's okay.

Ah, how did that Get in my hand?

My gosh, harriette, I've been sleepwalking.

Carl, let's go Back to bed.

I can't sleep now. Somebody's Making noise outside.

The richardsons are having A wild party.

Sounds like Body and fender work.

No, no. It's that new music-- Heavy metal.

Very heavy metal.

Heavier than The old heavy metal.

What were you Doing outside?

I went to tell the richardsons To quiet down,

But it may Last all night. Let's go.

Mom!

Dad.

What are you doing?

Are you just getting in? Getting in?

It's two hours Past your curfew.

Well, dad, you see, I was just...

I was just, uh...

You were just Breaking your curfew!

Mom!

And after Being grounded.

What should we do? Well--

Never mind. I'll handle this.

You're grounded Two more weeks.

What?

Not another word. Just go to bed.

Go to bed.

Harriette. Carl.

We shouldn't talk while We're mad at eddie.

Let's go to sleep

And discuss this tomorrow When you cool off.

How much time Do I have?

Carl won't be up For at least an hour.

Good. We'll make it.

You better put on Another pot of coffee.

Regular or decaf? What do you think?

Better make it decaf.

Mom, would you Please sign this?

What is it?

It's a confession.

It says you Did everything,

And I did nothing.

I told you I'd get you off The hook. After it settles down.

What if something happens To you before then?

I need evidence that Will stand up in court.

Well, how do I look?

Why are you Dressed so early?

You've got three hours.

I'm the lead car. I have to be early.

Oh, you've got A loose button.

Where? There.

It was hanging By a thread.

You better get your mother To sew that back on.

If your father Comes back down,

Pull another Button off!

Okay, but I'm adding That to the confession!

Rachel.

Will you stop Doing that?

We've got an emergency. Carl wants to leave now!

No. You got to stall him! I need more time!

Okay, more time.

We've got a family crisis. I need your help.

What kind Of crisis?

Rachel and I smashed The police car. Dad can't know.

Let me get This straight.

You and aunt rachel trashed the Car, dad doesn't know,

And you want us to be Part of the cover-up.

That's the General idea.

This is beautiful.

An opportunity like this Comes along once,

Maybe twice, In a lifetime.

I want a bike. What do you want?

A pony.

The kid's got potential.

You guys, this is A family crisis.

We've all got To pull together.

I'll take A dirt bike.

Well, I'm leaving.

Nobody touch me.

You can't go without breakfast. You look frail.

I don't have time for breakfast.

Why are You stalling me?

We're not trying to stall you. If we were,

We'd try to keep you,

Which we're not. So just go.

Do you want some coffee? No. I'm leaving.

Dad, My tonsils hurt.

Oh, Mine, too.

You had yours taken out Four years ago.

I mean my feet.

Alright. What is Going on around here?

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

There's nothing wrong With the car.

Ohh!

Eddie, you have The I.Q. Of frozen yogurt.

What?

I just want you To know I love you,

And remember, You love me, too.

Move, harriette.

Good morning.

What are you doing?

Just cleaning A squashed bug

Off your headlight.

I want everything To be picture perfect

For the parade.

Thank you, rachel.

That's Very thoughtful.

Yeah, thanks, rachel.

See you all Downtown.

Have a nice Parade, carl.

We're proud Of you, dad.

We'll see you At the parade.

Bye, dad!

Have a good time!

Rachel, I've got to say You did a good job.

I said we could do it.

We are sneaky good. You know, aunt rachel.

You're setting a bad example For the kids.

By the way, mom,

I hate To say this,

But there's still This little matter

Of a bicycle And pony.

Hey, don't forget My dirt bike.

Kids, I'm hurt.

After all I've Done for you,

I'd think you'd do This tiny thing for me

Without expecting Something.

Well, mom, You were wrong.

[doorbell rings]

Harriette, we are not Going to be blackmailed.

There's no evidence

That anything was ever wrong With that car.

I'm going To the parade now.

And I suggest you all get Your stories straight.

Not that it matters,

Because When I come back,

I plan to do A lot of yelling.

It was a nice day. It didn't rain.

I wish it had.

They would have Canceled it.

Carl looked So miserable.

When he came by, I could hear him grinding His teeth over the band.

We are In big trouble.

Ha ha ha. Not me!

I've got written proof

That none of this Is my fault.

Look, it's all My fault, okay?

I'm gonna take full Responsibility for it.

I'll hold little richie When I tell carl that.

Carl, before you say anything, Let me explain.

It's rachel's And my fault.

We were wrong To drive it, after we dented it

We shouldn't have repaired it Behind your back,

And drag The kids into it.

We were wrong. I can't tell you How sorry I am.

Aw, harriette. I really wanted to yell.

Carl, I'm sorry, too. I was driving the car.

I hope you Can forgive me.

I'm sorry, Too, dad.

Me, too.

Me, too.

I can't understand Why you didn't come to me

When you were In trouble.

We thought You'd be upset.

I would Have exploded.

Then I would have Cooled down

And worked with you.

Instead, you Deceived me.

Now that's What hurts.

Sorry. It'll Never happen again.

Me, too, carl. I promise.

I promise.

I promise.

I promise.

Okay. You guys are All off the hook.

But, guys, remember, We're a family.

Your problems Are my problems,

But I can't help unless You tell me about them.

Okay. Right, baby.

From now on, We stick together.

Yeah.

By the way, Who fixed the fender?

Rachel did.

Think you could Do it again?

Sure. Why?

Well, After the parade,

I accidentally backed Into the sons of italy float.

I'll get the torch.