Original subtitles

Hi, carl. Where's laura?

She's at The library.

That's okay. I'll Talk to her later.

You're not going to Eat that, are you?

What's that Supposed to mean?

Do you know What's in that baby?

Guar gum, Red dye number five,

And enough cholesterol To clog up your arteries

Like a drain Full of greasy hair.

Once again, You've come between me

And the things That I love.

Works every time.

* it's a rare condition In this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* and love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then, there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love burstin' Out of every seam *

* as days go by *

* we're gonna fill our house With happiness *

* the moon may cry *

* we're gonna smother The blues with tenderness *

* as days go by *

* there's room for you Room for me *

* for gentle hearts An opportunity *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family **

We're over St. Louis.

Rrrr.

Now we see Chicago.

Rrrr.

The baby just ate.

Uh-oh. Emergency landing.

Emergency landing.

I could never Play airplane

With your Uncle carl.

He was a 747

From the day He was born.

As I recall, I was a normal 10 pounds 5 ounces of joy.

Uh-huh, and as I recall you were 36 hours of hard labor.

He's still A wide-body,

But it's all First class.

Harriette and I are finally Getting a chance

For dinner And a movie alone.

Well, don't go to one Of them slasher movies.

You know how they give you Nightmares.

You got that right.

Whenever He sees one,

He sleeps with The night light on.

What's wrong With that?

It's got A 200-watt bulb.

He will not. Will, too!

Laura, There's no way.

Michael is too Going to ask me out.

He's not going To ask you out.

Do you know why?

Because you're A geek!

Oh, geek. That's A new word for you.

Can you spell it?

I could if I wanted to.

[horn honks]

There's our ride.

Have fun, girls.

You try to get Some sleep.

Dad, it's A slumber party.

Why would anybody sleep?

Be good. Say please, Thank you,

And don't cut Your sister's hair.

Okay, mom.

Bye. Bye, baby.

Tonight is Going to be great.

First, a movie,

Then a romantic dinner At chez josephine's.

They're holding Our table.

And then home.

I love when the kids Go on sleepovers.

Let's hurry and go,

So we can hurry Back.

Yeah.

[telephone rings]

[ring]

Hello?

Yeah, she's here. Hold on.

Rachel!

Telephone!

It's that guy From the choir.

He won't give up.

Last sunday He asked her again.

Rachel!

Maybe she'll Start seeing him

Instead of tagging along Behind us.

Okay, okay. I'm coming.

Who is it?

Alan smith. Oh.

Give me that.

Hello.

Oh, hi, alan. A movie?

No, I've got a million things To do tonight.

Yeah. Thanks For asking, though.

Okay. Bye.

Goodnight.

Where you going?

Just to a movie.

I'd love to go To a movie.

I've got nothing To do.

I'll ask mother winslow To watch richie.

Harriette, now, you know I love your sister,

But I can't remember When we were alone last.

She's Always with us.

Well, you didn't want her Sitting home alone.

It was hard for her Losing her husband,

But it's been almost A year and a half.

She's got to go out With others.

Anybody Other than us.

I know, but I'm not Going to push her.

A little push Isn't bad.

And that alan seems Like a great guy.

Who's a great guy?

Uh, eddie murphy.

We were deciding between A comedy and a love story.

Well, I'm always up For romance.

So was I.

Did we have fun Or what?

And I'm so glad we got "Our table."

Yeah. Another great Family outing--

Just the three Of us.

Well, I'm going upstairs To check on richie.

Thanks again, guys.

You know, harriette,

I've had Better dates.

Carl, it wasn't That bad.

It was terrible.

Harriette, she ruined Our romantic dinner

And sat right between us At the movies.

One thing I hate

Is three hands In my popcorn tub.

Carl, two of them Were yours.

We got to talk to her.

It's not exactly An easy thing to talk about.

I don't know If I can do it.

Then let me do it. I am a cop.

Being tactful is Part of my job.

Let's do it Tomorrow.

Tonight is ours.

Yeah.

Well, richie's Sound asleep,

And guess what's On tv.

The elephant man.

I love that movie.

That's it, rachel, That's it.

We have got to talk.

This is bad news, Isn't it?

No. No. It's just A little thing

Barely worth Mentioning.

You got to start Dating again.

You're driving us nuts.

Thank you, Officer tact.

You're saying I'm in the way?

No. We're just Concerned about you.

You ought to start Seeing other people.

Single men-type people.

Well, fyi, I plan To start dating again.

Any idea when that might be?

Not--not that We're pushing you.

Well...

There's nobody I'm interested in dating.

Well, what about... Alan?

Yeah, he's Definitely interested.

And at choir practice,

He's always holding Your hymnal.

Yeah...

Look, if it means so much To you two for me to date,

When alan calls again, I'll say yes. Okay?

Well, that's great. Thanks.

Right now I have a date

With The elephant man.

Goodnight. Night.

You're not The alan smith

With the first Baptist choir?

No? Well, sorry, You don't win.

But thanks for playing Our game. Heh heh.

Carl, stop This foolishness.

Alan'll call When he's ready.

It's been almost a week.

I'm telling you, He's given up.

The man needs a little Encouragement.

Hi.

Hi. Hi.

You know, I hate to brag,

But we are in the best shape Of our lives.

I can't believe you made Richie work out.

Are you kidding? This boy loves gym class.

Watch this.

* motorboat, motorboat *

* oh, so slow *

* motorboat, motorboat *

* oh, so fast *

* motorboat, motorboat, Put on the gas **

Okay, let's cool down.

[telephone rings]

I'll get it.

Hello.

Oh, hi. How are you?

Uh-huh. Hold on.

It's alan.

Alan?

It's alan, it's alan, It's alan.

Hi, alan.

I'm fine. How are you?

Oh, I'd love to, But...

Okay.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Right.

Bye.

What did he say?

We're going out To dinner tuesday.

That's great.

Yeah, great.

Are you okay?

I'm fine. It's just a date.

I'm going to take richie Upstairs for his bottle.

I know, I know. I forgot something.

When will she notice She forgot him?

She'll notice when she Tries to burp the bag.

What do you think?

It looks perfect.

No, it's too sexy.

I don't want him To think I'm sexy.

Is it okay if he thinks You're a woman?

Not on the first date.

Honey, relax.

Harriette.

It's been too long.

What do people do On dates now?

They do what They've always done.

Oh, harriette, That's not good.

Maybe this Is a bad idea.

Rachel, you're just having Dinner with him.

All you've to do Is eat and talk.

Just try not to do both of them At the same time.

Pair of 4s.

Read 'em and weep.

Not so fast, slick.

Full house. Queens on the roof.

That's impossible.

You didn't draw Any face cards.

How would you know?

I assumed.

Dad, eddie's Been cheating.

He's using A marked deck.

Well, it's not Helping him much.

[doorbell rings]

That's rachel's date.

Put away Those poker chips.

Looks like a casino.

This chair Is for company.

Alan, come on in.

Good to see you.

You remember Eddie and laura.

Of course.

Hi, alan. How about Some poker?

Five card stud, Low ball, klondike.

What's Your pleasure?

Laura, go tell Your aunt rachel

That her date is here.

Come on in.

Rachel will be Right down.

So, where are you young people Going tonight?

Dinner At chez josephine.

That's my favorite place. They love me there.

Mention me. You'll get good seats.

Thanks, but my family Owns the place.

You look terrific.

Fantastic.

This is definitely it.

Yellow is the perfect Color for you.

I think You're right.

I love this dress.

He's here.

I hate this dress.

What are you Talking about?

I look terrible.

You look beautiful.

I look Like a banana.

No, you don't.

She does a little.

Laura, rachel's A little nervous.

She needs A few more minutes.

Stall alan And don't tell anybody.

She looks like She's losing it.

Go, go, go, go.

She'll be right down.

Dad, can we talk?

Oh, excuse us.

Aunt rachel's Getting cold feet.

I think this guy's As good as stood up.

I'll break the news.

No, you stall while I see what's going on.

Is something wrong With rachel?

No. You know women. They're like doctors--

They keep you waiting, Then cost an arm and a leg.

You know--doctors, Waiting room.

You know. Actually, I do.

I am a doctor.

Alan, why don't you Get to know the kids?

I'll check on her.

I'll fix you a snack.

You're gonna Be here a while.

Want to see A magic trick?

He couldn't pull A rabbit from a hutch.

She's just jealous 'cause I'm so good.

Pick a card, Any card.

Okay... Your card is...

2 of hearts. No.

No?

Okay, uh, 2 of diamonds.

Afraid not.

Uh, 2 of spades?

No.

2 of clubs?

No.

It's not a 2, right?

You are good.

Well, maybe.

No maybe about it.

That's the one. It's you.

It-it's just Not right.

Okay, rachel, I've had it.

You've tried Every dress you own,

Plus mine, Plus the one carl wears

When he works undercover.

I can't do it, okay? I just can't go on this date.

You're not going?

We left alan With our kids.

He deserves Something.

Are you sure It's not the 9 of hearts?

I wish it was.

Face it, houdini. You stink.

We did it! We broke the record!

Hello, alan. Hi, mrs. Winslow.

We sold 232 boxes of cookies In one afternoon.

Congratulations.

Oh, it was nothing.

They can say no to a little girl Or an old lady,

But the combination Gets them every time.

Alan, are you here To pick up rachel?

Yes, but she's still Upstairs.

I hope Everything's alright.

I'll go see What's keeping her.

Okay, alright. I got it. I got it.

It's the 6 of clubs.

It's the 8 of diamonds.

That's it.

Rachel, couldn't you Just go down

And sit in the car?

Once the night air hits you, You'll be fine.

Carl, take it like a man. She's not going.

But, harriette the man Owns a restaurant.

How can I say this Tactfully?

Go!

Mama, rachel won't go On her date.

Tell her She's got to go.

Let me talk to her. Fine.

I mean alone. Oh.

Excuse us.

Mother winslow, I am so embarrassed.

That poor man has been Sitting downstairs

All this time.

Oh, honey, He'll be alright.

What really matters Is how you feel.

Well, I was fine Until he got here,

And then I panicked. I don't know what it is.

I do.

It's that the man Waiting downstairs for you

Is not your husband Robert.

I wish it was. I know.

You know, It's just so strange.

I mean, you meet a man

And you fall in love And get married,

And everything Is perfect.

You get to where you know What he will say

Before he says it.

And you laugh At the same things.

You even know which way He's going to turn in his sleep.

I know, sugar, I know.

And you think it's never Going to change.

But...Then it does,

And everybody Keeps telling you

You've got to start over.

But starting over Is so hard.

Rachel, I know what You're going through.

I still think of my sam Every day of my life.

Even after All these years?

He was a wonderful man,

And I'll always Love him.

And you will always Love robert.

But I had to move on,

And so do you, honey.

Well, I'd like to do that,

But I just...

I don't--I can't Explain what I feel.

You feel guilty.

Yeah, I guess I do.

Rachel, you haven't Done anything

To feel guilty about.

And going out again

Is exactly what robert Would want you to do.

You really think so?

He'd want you To go on with your life.

How do I do that?

There's a nice young man Waiting downstairs for you.

How do you know so much About this stuff?

You didn't even date After your husband died.

What makes You think that?

Carl never mentioned Anybody.

I don't tell carl Everything.

He'd have a fit if he knew his Mother was a party animal.

Oh, you quit.

* stop in the name Of love *

* before you break My heart *

* think it o-over *

* think it o-over *

* stop **

Thank you, thank you.

And for our next number, We'd like to do...

Proud mary.

Sing Melancholy baby.

We don't know That one.

I was counting on that.

Whoa, whoa. Ohh.

Hi, alan.

I'm really sorry I kept you waiting so long.

It was worth it.

You look terrific.

Thank you.

What do we do now?

How about dinner?

Sounds like A great idea.

Would you mind?

We are going alone, Aren't we?

Yes, I think we'll have More fun that way.

Thank you all For a...

Fascinating evening.

Shall we? We sure shall.

Enjoy yourselves. I will.

Bring home A doggie bag.

[harriette] Have fun.

Bye. Thanks.

Since we're here-- Hit it, judy.

* big wheels Keep on turnin' *

* proud mary Keep on burnin' *

* rollin' *

* rollin' *

* rollin' *

Mmm, alone at last.

My, how I do love This porch.

Me, too.

But I love it more when It's above 40 degrees.

That's the best Part.

You need me To keep you warm.

I need you For everything.

Hello there.

Hi. Hi.

I wanted you To know I was home.

How'd it go With alan?

It went fine.

Are we gonna See him again?

Maybe.

Go on. Oh, you go on.

Carl, there's Certain things

A woman likes To keep private.

I just wanted To say thanks.

Goodnight.

Don't worry, I'll get all The details for you later.

Mmm.