Original subtitles

* it's a rare condition *

* in this day and age *

* to read any good news On the newspaper page *

* love and tradition Of the grand design *

* some people say Is even harder to find *

* well, then there must be Some magic clue *

* inside these gentle walls *

* 'cause all I see Is a tower of dreams *

* real love bursting out Of every seam *

* as days go by *

* we're gonna fill our house With happiness *

* the moon may cry *

* we're gonna smother the blues With tenderness *

* as days go by *

* there's room for you Room for me *

* for gentle hearts An opportunity *

* as days go by *

* it's the bigger love Of the family *

Hey, carl, hurry up.

Your mama's going To be here any minute.

You know, baby, I've been thinking.

Mama doesn't have To come live with us.

She can go live With frank in new york.

He has that Big apartment.

It's just him Living there.

I'm going To call frank.

She hasn't liked him Since he took est.

Well, what about My other brothers, Walter or calvin?

Now, calvin owes me.

I put him Through college.

I'll call calvin.

What is it with you?

Your mother's a sweet lady. I'm going to love Having her here.

Oh. See, I get it.

You think the woman Coming to live with us

Is the same woman You see when we visit For thanksgiving.

See, baby, that's Where you're wrong.

See, that's The holiday mother--

The one who says, "Ooh, harriette,

You're looking More beautiful Every time I see you,"

But the real Mother winslow Is different.

She takes over Everything.

Harriette, if we Let her in here, She'll run our lives.

She'll tell us When to eat, What time to sleep--

Oh, my-- Harriette, she'll Put me on a diet,

And I'll waste away To nothing.

Carl, we're talking About your mother...

Not a magician.

Okay, forget that. What about this--

We could move to miami. She hates bugs.

Let it go.

Let me hold him.

Rachel said I could Take care of richie.

I wanna hold him.

You can When you're older.

When I get older, He won't be a baby.

Hey, stuff happens.

What are you doing?

You're putting out These fresh flowers.

Now mama's Going to expect Fresh flowers every day.

I'm not paying for Fresh flowers every day.

They're from Our back yard.

All you're paying for Is manure.

Okay, how about this--

We buy an rv, Stick mama in it,

And don't give her A key to the house.

It's over. She's moving in.

Mom, today I'm going To do your laundry,

Wash the car, And mow the lawn.

Who are you, And what have you Done with our son?

Forget our son. Let's keep this one.

Okay, edward, What do you want?

Well, there's One small thing.

Eddie's back.

Tony's having People over tonight To watch some tv.

Can I go, please?

You see, there's A catch here.

It's up to us To find it.

You're the cop.

Are tony's parents Gonna be there? Of course.

Beer, girls. No, no.

How late? 2:00.

Bingo! Book him, Dano.

You know Your curfew's 10:00.

I don't need An answer now.

Take time. Think about it.

I'll be outside Rotating your tires.

Should we tell him It's pointless?

Let's string him along. Maybe we can get The house painted.

[doorbell rings]

That's your mama.

Harriette, Wait a minute.

What do I do?

Open the door.

What are My other options?

You don't have any. Open the door.

Hi, mama.

There's my baby boy.

Harriette, you get More beautiful

Every time I see you.

Carl, you're Putting on weight.

Thank you for letting Me come live here.

We're glad to have you, Aren't we?

Oh, we're just Tickled to death.

Tell me About your trip.

Oh, that's okay. Nobody help me.

Here, rachel, Let me help you With those.

What's she got In there--a home gym?

Grandma!

Oh, there's my girls.

Just come Right over here

And give me Some sugar. Give me more sugar.

Girls, who's Watching my baby?

She is. She is.

Excuse me.

Mama, make yourself Comfortable while We get refreshments.

Girls, talk To your grandma.

Now, before you go,

I want you to know I don't expect Any special treatment.

I'll help out Where I can

And not get in the way.

That's sweet.

I'm sure we'll all Get along just fine,

Won't we, carl?

Oh, it'll be heaven.

Harriette, why did you Make me lie like that?

We won't get along fine.

She's been fine So far.

Well, she hasn't Put her purse down yet.

Carl, I like your mama.

You put a smile On your face or you're gonna Be in deep trouble with me.

Wow, you knew the queen Of england?

That was A long time ago,

When I worked For the fairchildes.

Oh, I've traveled This world...

Met a lot Of interesting people.

Have you ever Met prince?

I met a lot of prince--

Prince of wales, Prince of denmark, Prince of nepal.

What prince Are you talking about?

She's talking about The prince that sings And wears purple underwear.

That would be The prince of nepal.

Girls, have you Cleaned your room?

I cleaned my half.

No, you didn't. Your junk's on my half.

Girls, upstairs. But ma, she--

Now.

Mama, would you care For iced tea?

I don't drink caffeine. Caffeine's bad For my system.

In fact, it's no good For any of you--

Especially you, carl.

Your heart's already Working overtime.

I'm going to get you On a diet.

Grandma!

There's my boy.

How is my favorite Grandson?

I'm doing great, Grandma.

Dad, is there anything else Before I go to the party?

Edward, you're not going.

You're telling me I was nice for nothing?

That's the last time I do anything Around this house!

Here, take this with you.

Yes, mama.

Why won't your parents Let you go to the party?

I don't know. We're just gonna watch A rambo marathon.

The problem is My curfew's at 10:00.

The first movie doesn't Start until 9:30.

Well, that stinks.

Rambo won't even Blow up anybody Till after 10:00.

That's what I told dad.

You know, he's forgotten What it's like to be 15.

I'll handle your father At dinner.

Your grandma's gonna fight For your right to party.

Let's get Some applesauce.

Applesauce.

Okay, come on.

Mmm.

Yum yum yum Yum yum yum.

Mmm.

When shall I see The next chapter Of your novel?

I'm dying to know What happens.

So am I.

I'm trying to figure out Who chastity falls for.

Wasn't she Marrying thomas?

She was, but I killed him off In chapter six.

You're the writer. Bring him back.

I can't. He was eaten by a shark.

It's hard to bounce Back from that.

I know you're The creative one In the family,

But the shark part Is stinking up your book.

That was some Of my best writing.

You like the shark part, Didn't you, sweetheart?

Are we ever Going to eat?

My digestion's About to shut down.

It won't be long. Hope you like meat loaf.

Never have Liked meat loaf.

Maybe yours is different. Has it got meat in it?

Yeah...Otherwise We'd just call it loaf.

I think I will go upstairs,

Put my little man to bed, And change my clothes.

Let me see him.

Say goodnight.

That's mama's Little chipmunk cheeks.

Oh! You're fixing Green beans.

I love green beans.

I'm glad.

You're going to love The mushroom sauce.

It's from Your recipe.

Can't be my recipe. Mushrooms give me gas.

Mother winslow, You've had A hard day.

We've all Had a hard day.

Why don't you go Into the living room And relax?

'cause I've got one Nerve left, and you're Leaning on it.

[knock on door]

Come in.

Can I talk to you?

You're just the person I wanted to see. Come here and sit down.

I've got a great idea For my next chapter.

Tell me what you think.

Chastity fall's back In love with thomas.

She can't fall in love With thomas.

He was eaten by a shark.

Chastity thought it was, But it was someone else.

It had to be him. When the shark swam away,

Chastity was still Holding his hand

With the diamond Pinky ring.

What, you've never heard Of poetic license?

I know you're The creative one In the family,

But the shark part Is stinking up your book.

Alright, I'll lose The shark part.

What did you Want to talk about?

Is daddy going To throw grandma out?

Oh, honey, Come here.

There's no way Your daddy's going To throw her out.

He's got Too big a heart.

Remember when your Uncle robert died,

And I had to take Care of the baby All by myself?

Your daddy asked me To move in here, right?

It wasn't all peaches And cream at first.

We all had to make Some adjustments.

That's what's happening With your grandma now.

Everyone is making Adjustments.

I hope they finish Adjusting soon.

It's giving me a rash.

Harriette, mama's Sitting in my chair.

Don't know what you're Complaining about. She insulted my meat loaf

Before I even took it Out of the oven.

This was a bad idea,

A real bad idea, Harriette.

It you say, "I told you so,"

And you'll be wearing This meat loaf.

I'm sorry honey, But we've got to eat now

Or I won't be regular For a week.

She's doing it Again, harriette.

She's sitting In my chair.

I'm supposed to be at the head Of the table.

Let it go. We'll buy A round table.

Come on, let's eat. Boy, it smells good.

Why can't I Change the baby?

Honey, laura has More experience.

Give it to her Straight.

You're too young and short. The baby doesn't like you.

Don't argue At the dinner table.

Okay, let's take it Outside.

Sit down.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Woo! Looking good.

What are you Dressed up for?

I thought since it was Grandma's first day...

Dinner should be special.

He's such a good boy.

Carl, you want To say grace?

Let us pray.

Oh, lord...

We thank you for this food And your many blessings.

And we ask simply

That you deliver us From evil...

Even if it were to walk Through our front door.

Amen.

Amen. Amen.

So, eddie, big plans For tonight, huh?

I was going to a party, But dad won't let me.

Your father's got Your best interest At heart.

Thank you, mama.

You shouldn't go To wild parties

Where there may be Drinking, carousing, And all.

There's not going To be any of that--

Just kids watching tv Until real late.

Watching tv?

Mm-hmm. That's it?

Mm-hmm.

I can't go because My curfew's at 10:00.

10:00? You've got To be kidding.

Oh, carl, It's almost the nineties.

Lighten up.

Lighten up?

Eddie, go to that party And have a good time.

In france, 15-year-old boys can stay out As late as they like.

When he's in france, He can, too,

But in this country his Curfew's still 10:00.

And that's final.

It's not fair! I'm 15, and you're Treating me like a kid!

Edward.

I'll talk With him.

Give a man a badge.

Well, I talked to eddie.

He said he's not Coming out of his room Until he's 18

And then he's Moving to france.

Well, now, that's it.

This is all my Mother's fault, Harriette.

This time she's Gone too far.

She's got to know, She can't run this house.

And she can't Interfere with the way We raise our kids.

And she's got to know That she cannot sit In my chair.

You're right, carl.

Oh, I'm glad you agree, So now go tell her.

Me? She's your mother.

You're the one that Told her she could move in.

She's your mother.

But she likes you.

She's your mother.

Is that all you got?

That's all I need.

Oh, alright.

I'll go talk to her.

Where are you going? She's out in the back porch.

I know. I'm gonna go take A little walk

Think about what I'm gonna say to her.

You need anything from canada?

Oh, ma. Hmm?

I see you're busy. I'll come back.

You'll have a long wait. This is a rug.

What do you want To talk about?

Well, ma, I don't Quite know how To say this.

It's delicate, And I don't want To hurt your feelings.

Go ahead and say What you've got to say.

I'm not sensitive. I can take it.

Okay.

Mama, you're driving me And harriette crazy.

That's it. I'm out of here.

Wait a minute, mama.

Sit right here, And we'll work this out.

I know it's Been hard for you Since dad died.

You had to raise Five sons

And work At the same time.

You got used To being in charge.

When you came here And naturally took over.

I was just Trying to help.

Mother, I know That you meant well,

But look at me.

I am not your Little boy anymore.

I'm grown up With a family of my own.

I knew moving in Wasn't going to be Easy for you.

I must admit I had my doubts,

But, mother, I really Want this to work.

I want it To work, too.

I'm running out Of sons.

But if it's going To work, ma,

We've all got to make Some adjustments.

Like what?

Me and harriette got to be able To run our own house.

You've got to retire From being in charge.

You can be an advisor.

I'm a little old For a career change, But I can try.

Thank you, mama.

It would help if you told Edward you were out of line About his curfew.

I wasn't out of line About that.

Now, speaking As your advisor...

If eddie is to learn Responsibility,

You've got to trust him.

Maybe You're right, ma.

I'll go talk to edward. I love you, mama.

I love you, too, Darling.

My baby.

Oh, well, while You're talking To edward,

I'll go apologize To harriette.

And to show her I'm sincere,

I'll try To choke down

A piece of That meat loaf.

Don't go In the other room. Oh, man.

Oh, yeah.

[knock on door]

Hey, son. Hi, dad.

Can I talk to you? Sure.

First, I want to say

I appreciate your Giving up your room

For your grandmother.

Living in the attic Isn't the greatest Thing.

Well, it has Its advantages.

Well, son, about this Curfew thing, I...

Well, I've been Thinking, and...

The truth is, How are you going To learn responsibility

If I don't start Learning to trust you.

Oh, my.

Anyway...

I've decided to Change your curfew To 11:00.

That still means I can't go.

I'm going to make The exception Just this once.

You can go to the party.

Dad, thanks!

Since we're Getting along so well,

How about doubling My allowance?

Don't push it, edward.

[singing]

Sounds like Everyone's getting Along for a change.

I'd better go Before they Get over it.

I'll just Take these...

For my next Stakeout.

* ...In his hands *

* he's got The little bitty baby *

* in his hands *

* he's got the whole world In his hands *

* he's got The whole world *

* in his hands *

How's eddie? Is he moving out?

No one's moving out,

And no one else Is moving in.

* in his hands He's got the whole world *

* in his hands *

* he's got Everybody here *

* in his hands He's got everybody here *

* in his hands *

* he's got Everybody here *

* in his hands He's got the whole world *

* in his hands *

* he's got The whole world *

* in his hands *

* he's got The whole wide world *

* in his hands *

* he's got The whole world *

* in his hands *

* he's got the whole world In his hands *

* he's got The whole world *

* in his hands... *