Original subtitles

Yeah, dudes! Welcome to your Dumb Ass Show!

I am Sky Commander Winky,

and this is the beautiful Captain Dare!

Yeah, baby! Woo-hoo!

The biggest dumb ass I know.

Thank you, Sky Commander.

Yes, Captain Dare will show you

what a dumb ass he really is.

But be forewarned, only a stupid dumb ass

would neglect to take every safety precaution

in the stunts you're about to witness.

Now, the physics alone

took almost five minutes of calculations.

Oh, oh... yes!

Yeah, dude, fire when ready.

Ah, mother!

What the!

Now that's a dumb ass!

Oh, right in the target!

Hey, Natalie, come here.

How about a kiss for good luck?

Bill, why are you doing this?

His name's Captain Dare,

and he'll be famous one day

for going where no dudes have gone before.

Hey, if you won't give me a kiss,

how about throwing me a magazine?

Yeah! Yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Hey, hey... that...

that is it! Whoo!

There it is! There it is, yes!

That is a dumb ass! That is a dumb ass!

And now, the awesome Captain Dare

will make dumb ass history

in the scientifically-modified Shopping Cart of Doom...

rolling down this hill,

hitting the launch ramp at an estimated 24.6 miles an hour,

sailing just over the scrumptious Natalie Gordon,

who will be holding this flaming torch in her mouth.

Whoa, I didn't say I was going to do anything.

What? This is the money shot, Natalie.

We need you.

Captain, will you tell her?

Yeah, come on, Natalie. What could go wrong?

What could go wrong?!

You mean besides landing on me

and crushing my head, Bill?

Would you...?

It'll be killer.

The Captain will jump her,

her torch will set the cart on fire... whoosh...

and our daring hero rolling on to salvation

into the pool of life, triumphant.

Natalie, come on, just do it for me, please?

Please? Please?

You're going to freakin' fly, man.

This is going to be spectacular.

Okay, you can do this.

You are the man!

Show them that dumb ass!

I'm the man. I'm the man.

Captain Dumb Ass coming down!

What up! What up!

Whoa! No, no!

Hey!

Now that's a dumb ass.

Come on, Bill, get up.

Hey, Bill! Hey, Bill!

Thanks for coming so quickly.

Are you the medical examiner?

Yes, yes, I'm Dr. Fountain.

And you're the experts from the FBI?

The experts?

Well, I was told you were the experts.

We work on the X Files.

Our expertise is the unexplained.

We were told you had an unexplained death here.

Well, you're the experts; you tell me.

So why don't you explain

exactly what happened here, Doctor.

Well, I can't.

That's the point.

You can't tell us anything?

Well, all things considered,

I'd prefer not to go on record.

Why is that?

Well, it's the kid's parents.

They're suing everyone.

- For what? - Everything.

They're suing the county for making the street too steep,

the supermarket he stole the shopping cart from,

the company that made the helmet he was wearing.

Off the record, Doc, what the hell has that got to do

with a supermarket shopping cart?

You familiar with The Dumb Ass Show?

The Dumb Ass Show?

It's a cable TV show where the kids act like, well, dumb asses.

They videotape themselves doing stupid stunts.

You mean this was an accident?

I'd prefer not to get sucked into a legal nightmare here.

You investigate the unexplained.

How about you explain it to me?

Dr. Fountain, do you see this?

What the hell is that?

You're asking me?

Thanks for coming so quickly.

Well, your message said urgent.

What is it you want me to look at here?

We were hoping you could tell us.

Is, uh, she the expert?

Well?

What do you think?

Well, I have to say that, uh...

I've never seen anything quite like this before.

Well, something killed this kid.

Well, judging from the amount of insect feces

in the ear and nasal cavities,

it appears that they fed at such a furious rate

that it caused the boy's skull to collapse from the inside.

His helmet protected his head during the crash.

There is no impact trauma here whatsoever... none.

You're saying flies killed him.

All the kids at the scene...

the flies choose to attack this boy?

Why?

Maybe they were attracted

for reasons we're not seeing.

What if somebody put something in his helmet?

Insect pheromone.

You know, Spanish Fly...

that stuff you see advertised in the back of magazines

that guys use to attract girls.

I glance at them for amusement.

I may have to brush up

on my Spanish Fly, but I don't think

the science works that way.

Anyway, before we start looking for an M.O.,

I want to find out what kind of fly

would act that aggressively.

The Musca vetustissima Walker.

The Australian bush fly.

It craves protein so much,

it will actually crawl into your open nose, mouth, ears,

even your eyes, to feed on nutritious blood and moisture.

Though the New Zealand screw-worm fly

often kills its victims in mere moments

by burrowing into an open wound or cut.

I'm sorry.

I'm Dr. Rocky Bronzino.

Hi.

Rocky Bronzino. Hello there.

Rocky Bronzino, field entomological expert,

Rutgers University, at your service.

Dr. Bronzino...

Rocky.

These flies you mentioned...

neither of them are indigenous to North America.

Are you suggesting that we've got

a virulent foreign vector here?

No. The specimens you collected

are your garden- variety Calliphorid.

Harmless as, well, flies.

What are you suggesting then?

Nothing.

Dr. Fountain brought me in for my scientific expertise.

And I must say, I'm glad he did.

Dr. Bronzino,

you should know we may be looking at a murder.

A murder?

Are there any suspects?

Natalie Gordon...

the lady in Captain Dare's short life

and the last person to see him alive.

Leave me alone, Winky.

It's for the Dumb Ass Memorial Video,

for our fallen hero.

Just a few words for Captain Dare, come on.

You want a few words, Winky?

You're a jerk!

And so is your brother

for making Bill do all those stupid stunts.

Hey, Captain Dare died

doing what he loved!

Pushing the envelope.

Maybe if you weren't

such a...

Hey, you!

Freaky-Deaky.

You want your own memorial, huh?

You want to be in Dumb Ass?

Just leave her alone.

I'm talking to you now, freak.

David Winkle!

In my office, right now!

Typical.

Lokensgard's going to have his mommy stick up for him.

Baby.

...that is it! Whoo!

There it is!

I think I just solved this case.

This kid had crap for brains, the flies couldn't resist.

Oh, and you were such a choirboy growing up?

I mean, we did some stupid stuff,

but we didn't know it was stupid at the time.

This isn't just stupid, this is glorification of stupid.

These kids take enormous pride in being sub-mental.

That's why they call it Dumb Ass.

Mr. David Winkle.

Sky Pilot Winky.

Just the man we want to see.

Come on in.

That's very entertaining, Sky Pilot.

Sky Commander, if you don't mind.

And you can call me

Sheriff John when I haul

your dumb ass off to jail, Winky.

What are you talking about?

We obtained a copy

of a recent e-mail you sent

offering to sell the video of your friend's death

to the Fox network.

What? No, no, no, I wrote all the networks.

Fox was the only one who had any interest in it.

I don't think you understand.

Wait... you think I killed him?

You think I killed Captain Dare

to make money?

My best friend?

Well, looking at this video,

you were the last person to have contact with him.

You handed him his helmet at the top of the hill.

I think you put something in it.

Sit down, Sky Commander.

I can't! I'm being attacked!

Oh, God, it's happening to me!

Now that's a dumb ass!

Where you been?

Dinner's been on the table almost an hour, young man.

I'm not hungry.

Well, then you sit down here until you get hungry.

Dylan.

I have something to talk to you about.

Dylan!

Dylan?

Dylan?

I'm glad you're here.

I think we just got our first real break.

What'd you find?

Well, it's what the entomologist

Rocky Bronzino found.

The flies that ate at the brain

and skull of the victim are all female.

Every last one of them.

Exactly how is that a break?

Well, what are the chances of that?

You mean that the absence of males suggests

there's a reason for the attack, behaviorally.

Well, something biological is going on.

Whether it's hormonal or chemical,

something has caused these bugs to attack.

Or a need to express themselves.

To what?

This is a kid

that calls himself "Sky Commander Winky."

Agent Reyes and I were interviewing him

as a suspect when this happened.

The paramedics arrived

and treated him for an aggressive attack of body lice.

Hmm.

Lice are not altogether uncommon

in a school environment.

Except that these are better spellers than most of the kids.

So what are you saying,

that this is just another Dumb Ass stunt?

Well, that was my first thought.

But the victim here was just

too freaked out by this incident

to make me believe he'd staged this.

Which leads me to think that while you may be right

about this being

a matter of biology,

someone is directing the biology.

How does one direct bugs?

I don't know how,

but we've been running down a long list of witnesses.

A loner who was present at every Dumb Ass stunt

and who had a run-in with this kid Winky

at school just prior to the lice attacking.

His name is Dylan Lokensgard.

We're going to want to talk to him.

It's just not a good time right now.

He's unable to talk.

Dylan?

Dylan?

I want to have a talk with you.

Honey, can you come out here?

Dylan?

Dylan? Dylan!

Where are you going?

To school.

I know where you're going.

Well, what did Natalie want?

You stay away from her. Dylan, she's no good for you.

She's only going to get you into trouble.

Natalie and I are friends.

We've been friends since we were kids.

But you're not kids anymore, Dylan.

Which is why we need to talk, honey.

You're going through changes.

Your body

is going through changes.

You don't understand anything.

I don't want to talk to you.

I wish Dad was still here.

You don't know anything about me.

Honey, I want what's best for you.

Dylan!

Come back here!

Dylan!

So many flowers...

so little time.

Excuse me?

Pheromones, Dr. Scully.

Heavy in the air.

Nature's natural attractants.

Driving the insect world to go forth and pollinate.

I'm aware how pheromones work.

But according to this device, there isn't a single pheromone

to be found out here.

Well, that can't be right.

The bio-sensor we use is an actual fly antennae

over which the pheromones pass.

But I modified the EAG to measure in picograms,

which makes it sensitive

to traces a mile in any direction.

But I'm still not sure why you think

that pheromones might cause an otherwise harmless fly

to attack a human so violently, Doctor...

Rocky.

Rocky.

Bugs are small-minded creatures, and therefore very predictable.

They don't have moods, per se.

They react to circumstance and stimuli,

as they have been doing it for millennia.

So what do you suppose they're reacting to out here?

It may be the bugs are being

somehow driven crazy with desire.

You know, they say we humans

respond to pheromones, too.

Yeah, I tend to agree with that, yeah.

Women's dormitory syndrome.

It's believed

that pheromones are the reason

that women who live together share the same menstrual cycle.

Fascinating.

You know, when a male

and female Calliphorid fly mate,

they stay joined for up to one and a half hours.

One and a half, Doctor.

You know, Rocky...

I'm a mother.

Mothers are women, too.

Big hit!

What is it?

A high concentration of C-13 calliphorone...

incoming.

Natalie!

Dylan?

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

What about your bike?

Um, I'll get it later.

I came by your house to see you.

Oh, really?

Yeah, your mom made it sound like

there was something wrong with you.

Me? I'm fine.

What-what did you want?

I wanted to apologize

about what happened yesterday in the cafeteria.

Winky can be such a jerk.

I was just worried about you.

W-What'd I say?

Nothing.

No one understands.

My mom and dad think it's just going to go away.

What I'm feeling.

You... you mean about Bill?

I wish I could just turn back time.

I wish I could just...

make everything go away and start all over again.

I know.

Like-like when we were kids.

Remember the night

we played hide-and-seek on your street?

Manhunt.

We hid in the tree together.

Our names are still carved in it.

I'm-I'm going to get marked late.

Dylan Lokensgard?

Can you come with us, Dylan?

And now the awesome Captain Dare

will make Dumb Ass history

in a scientifically-modified Shopping Cart of Doom.

Rolling down this hill...

Why are you showing me this?

What do you think of it?

You mean the Dumb Ass Show?

That, and the kids who make it.

I know them, you know.

You ever have

contact with Bill?

The kid who played Captain Dare?

No.

You have anything against him?

No.

Do you think it's strange that he was attacked

and killed by insects?

Who wouldn't?

What's going on in here?

We're talking to Dylan.

Oh, no, you're not.

Dylan...

Ma'am...

No one interrogates my son

in my office without my permission.

Just calm down, Mrs. Lokensgard.

He's not a part of that crowd.

What are you accusing him of?

We're not accusing him.

We're just trying to see what he knows.

He doesn't know anything.

He was at the crime scene.

Yeah, well, so were a lot of kids.

Dylan...

Too late, gentlemen.

Bugs are gone.

Bugs are all gone.

Whatever.

How's he doing?

He's unhurt, apparently.

Not so much as a single bite on him.

Come on, let's go.

Mrs. Lokensgard?

I don't think we've finished talking to Dylan.

Oh, yes, you have! We're going home.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

The whole reason this case is attracting flies

is because somebody's full of crap.

I think what we just saw was a show.

Dylan Lokensgard caused those bugs to attack him,

to make himself look like a victim

instead of the perpetrator.

Okay, but how?

This guy's the horse whisperer, only for bugs?

I don't know how he's doing it,

but I may know a way to find out.

Where did you get this?

Dylan Lokensgard provided it to us

when we interviewed him.

Well, I have to warn you, there's typically not a lot

to be found in a teenage boy's sweaty Kleenex.

Well, you're looking for pheromones.

Aren't there pheromones produced in adolescent sweat?

Yes, it's what causes B.O., but all too obviously

it's not all that attractive... to anything.

I've got a reading here that's going right off the scale.

Holy Toledo.

We got pheromones coming out the ying-yang here.

C-13 calliphorone, and how.

What happened?

I think my electroantennogram just... tilted.

What's C-13 calliphorone?

Insect pheromone.

Where did you find this mother lode?

A boy named Dylan Lokensgard.

That specimen came from him.

A boy is secreting bug pheromones?

That's impossible.

Preposterous.

You're the expert,

Dr. Bronzino.

How else do you explain it, then?

Rocky?

A boy is a boy, a bug is a bug.

You can't have it both ways.

Okay, so this boy's going through puberty, right?

I mean, maybe his body chemistry is somehow just going crazy,

and it's his raging teenage hormones

that are attracting all these insects.

What if it's more than chemistry or hormones?

More than biology?

Dylan's not just attracting these bugs,

he's using them to act out.

Yes, but against what?

We saw him talking to a girl.

The one in the Dumb Ass video.

Captain Dare's girlfriend.

Natalie.

Natalie?

Dylan?

What are you doing?

I need to talk to you, Dylan.

You have to be quiet.

It's my mom...

she's going to hear you.

I'm coming up.

What? No.

Hey.

You're going to break your neck.

I needed to see you.

Shh.

I haven't been here in so long.

Since fourth grade.

After school.

It was a Wednesday in April.

"A dream in a mist of gray."

That's from a Syd Barrett song.

How do you know all these things?

My dad told me.

Syd Barrett, he was in the band Pink Floyd.

He was, like,

this brilliant guy that nobody understood.

Kind of like you?

Me?

I never said I was sorry when your dad disappeared, Dylan.

I never said a lot of things.

But I want to say them now.

I know you've always cared about me.

We've grown apart, but...

I haven't forgotten you.

And...

after we talked this morning at school,

I realized...

how special you really are to me.

I can't believe this.

After what happened to Bill...

...I realized how important it is

to have someone who does understand you,

and...

I wanted to do this.

That... that was amazing.

What... what... was that?

- What was what? - Your... your...

Your mouth, your tongue...

There's something wrong with you.

No, don't-don't say that.

- I got to go. - Natalie, please.

Please, don't. Just stay. Let me talk to you.

Natalie, listen to me!

Natalie, please...

Hey, Bug Boy!

How about we go for a little buzz around the block.

So, Lokensgard...

how'd you do it, huh?

How'd you kill him?

I thought bugs killed Captain Dare.

Yeah, bugs who do what you say.

You want to know how I did it?

I'll show you.

Maybe you should get your camera ready.

What are you talking about?

I just have to open my mouth.

What the hell?

Oh, God!

Mrs. Lokensgard?

Dylan?

I'm getting a reading here.

Trace levels inside the house.

Well, I guess that's probable cause.

Dr. Scully?

This is so exciting.

I've never had a partner before.

I have.

I'd like to think of it

as a hymenopteran relationship.

Two scientists using their special knowledge,

reaching higher than either of them could ever reach alone.

And if I may say so, Doctor, you complete me.

I got upstairs, you take down.

All right.

Hey, who's that?

Someone's coming.

Ow!

Get us out!

Oh, God.

Ow! God!

David Winkle, is that you?

Yeah.

Now that's a dumb ass.

It wasn't a stunt, it was, uh...

it was Dylan Lokensgard.

He attacked us.

He attacked you?

Yeah, the dude's a freakin' bug.

He chewed right out the back window.

Ow!

You stay.

I'll go see that Dylan didn't head to that girl's house.

Scully.

Where are you?

I'm with Rocky at the Lokensgard house,

but there's nobody here.

Yeah, well, I'm afraid the kid's on a tear.

He's caused a car accident out here on Glenhaven Road.

How'd he do that?

You better see for yourself.

C-13 calliphorone.

I'm getting a stiff new reading from up here.

Yeah, Dylan's bedroom's up there.

Unfortunately, he's not in it.

Where are you going?

Kid's on a rampage.

Whoa!

You got my number, partner.

Natalie?

Whoever you are, leave me alone.

Natalie, I'm Monica Reyes with the FBI.

I'm here because I need your help.

It's about Dylan Lokensgard.

Don't say that name around me!

It's important.

You may be the key to this, to stopping him.

Dylan Lokensgard is a freak!

I thought he was the normal one.

I think Dylan was normal, just like any other kid.

Whatever it is he's going through,

it has to do with what he's becoming.

He kissed me!

And it's probably what he's living for.

And now it's probably why

he lost all control and attacked David Winkle and his brother.

He attacked Winky?

They're going to be okay.

We just want to make sure

he doesn't hurt anyone else, Natalie, all right?

Come with me.

Why did you run from me?

What is wrong with you?

I'm different, Natalie.

Isn't that what you wanted?

Somebody different from Bill and Winky?

You killed Bill.

To keep you from being killed!

And now you're coming with me.

Just stay where you are, Dylan.

Don't try and stop me.

That little talk that you wanted to have with me?

It'll have to wait.

Where do you think you're going?

It's where we're going, me and Natalie.

I'll be taking the car.

You'll be doing nothing of the sort.

You don't want to cross me, Mom.

I am not some kid everybody can kick around anymore.

You think I don't know what you are?

It's what I've been trying to tell you, Dylan,

to save you from what you are about to do.

These are the things I couldn't tell you.

The things I couldn't tell your father.

You are not like the other kids.

You never will be.

Monica!

Monica!

Holy Mother.

Monica, hold on!

Can you hear me?

Monica, can you breathe?

Monica, talk to me.

He's got the girl.

Where'd they go?

To Dylan's house.

That's where Scully is.

She lost phone contact with the entomologist, Bronzino.

Where are they?

Natalie!

Help me.

Help me.

Four more bodies were found in the Lokensgard attic,

including that of Michael Lokensgard,

Dylan's father, long reported missing.

It now appears that he, like the others, fell victim

to Dylan's mother who, in Dr. Rocky Bronzino's

expert opinion, was neither human nor insect,

but something in between.

A biological anomaly, whose difference from the rest

of humanity could be hidden only for so long.

However strong Dylan Lokensgard's yearning

to fit in, to win acceptance, to love and to be loved,

he could not defeat the unseen forces which direct behavior.

In the struggle between our desire to determine

who and what we will be

and the identity which biology defines for us,

there can only be one outcome.

But even in victory, there are forces biology cannot defeat:

the stirrings of the soul, the mysteries of desire,

the simple truth that the heart wants

what the heart wants.

I made this!