Original subtitles

Ok, I'll see you all Monday then!

Ugh thank God.

I thought they'd never leave.

Ominous Hmph

Now for some me time.

Hello Butt Stallion*...

["Butt Stallion" is a registered trademark of the Hyperion Corporation. Any unauthorized use of this term is punishable by being declared a Jakobs customer, and therefore being ineligible for any afterlife destination other than hell.]

Time for you to live up to your name.

Come on you stupid thing!

Get in my butt already!

[OSHA CFR 1910.261 Pipe fittings between digesters and blow pits]

I need to frickin' mount you to something!

[Distinctly un-OSHA-safe laughter]

Or... some-ONE!

Hey DT...

Come here...

Yeah. That'll do.

Now gently extend...

That's it...

Force your way into my butt DT

Finally

Let's start slow

I...

can feel you stretching out my

insides DT...

But I want you to ruin them!

[If your water heater makes this noise, evacuate and call an old plumber and a young plumber.]

That's... more... like... it!!

I should have... done this... months ago!

Oh Go-[file missing]

I bet...

Marcie's dumb robot...

...couldn't do this!

I don't think I'll... ever...

need... another boyfriend... again!

Oh that's it D... T...

Put me... in my... fucking... place!

This is... so... much.. better...

than... touching... myself... to po-rn!

Ho-o-o-o-o-l-y-y-y-y sh-i-i-i-i-i-t!!

Th-h-h-i-i-i-s... i-i-i-i-i-s... a-a-a....m-a-a-a-a-a-a-a...z-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-n-n-n-g

[If your water heater makes this noise... Good for them.] Th-h-h-i-i-i-s... i-i-i-i-i-s... a-a-a....m-a-a-a-a-a-a-a...z-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-n-n-n-g

Th-h-h-i-i-i-s... i-i-i-i-i-s... a-a-a....m-a-a-a-a-a-a-a...z-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-n-n-n-g

I... love... you...

so-o-o-o... m-u-u-uch...D-e-e-e... T-e-e-e!!

Use... me... like... a...

fuck... ing... sex... toy!

We're... definitely... doing... this...

more... often... D... T...!

Don't-stop-fuck-ing-my-ass-hole!!

I... should've... given... you...

a... big...ger... cock!

I- [chokes up]

I swear... I...

feel you...

slamming... into...

the bottom... of...

my... throat!

I could... go like... this...

for-e-e-e-ver!

Forget... about... the vault.

I'll be your... bitch... till your circuits

cor-o-o-de... D...T...

So I told him that he can-

Gaige!? Honey?

Are you okay, sugar?

[OSHA 1926.250(a)(2)(i) weight of of storage tanks exceeding safe load limits (Moxxi)]

Talk to me, dear.

[This message brought to you by Ass-Up Inchworm Gang.]

Maya?

Moxxi?

What are you-

you doing here?

We agreed on...

agreed... on Monday.

It is Monday, babe.

No... it's Friday...

You just left a few hours ago!

Seventy-seven hours?!?!

[Less harrowing than 127 at least]

Maya, be a dear and get her off to Zed.

She must be absolutely famished and dehydrated.

Not to mention... incredibly sore.

I can't feel my butt...

And for goodness sake, get the poor girl some clothes!

So...

Three days, huh?